Child Of Grace: Chapter 44 - Tournaments And Treachery
ZeldaQueen: Hullo folks, I am Not Happy. Well, that's kind of a given, but the suethor pulled something here that made me shriek with rage. But hey, let's not spoil things! I'll just show you myself!
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 44: Tournaments And Treachery
ZeldaQueen: Alright. So. We're at the week before Halloween already, and the school is abuzz with questions about the tournament. The suethor tells us all about it, with this literary prize
"Speculation abound about the other schools included, wondering who they would send. Not to mention who would be Hogwarts' own champion. How the champions would be chosen. What tasks they had to perform. Which school would win"
ZeldaQueen: *cough*
"Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me"
ZeldaQueen: Are we sure that Lady Azar de Tameran isn't Stephenie Meyer's online name?
Anyway, everyone is excited except for Holly. She can't care less about the tournament. It's supposed to show that she's just happy that the school's safe, but it just comes across as Holly being really arrogant. Also, I have to ask - has Holly ever shown actual teenage excitement over something? She got the Marauder's Map and has only used it as a plot device to find Pettigrew. She never used it to sneak to Hogsmeade or avoid Filch. Even when we're supposed to think that she's really excited over Quiddich, it just feels like "Oh, right, ho hum". Did the suethor think that Harry was stupid to get excited over stuff like that? Because either that, or it's really bad writing. Or both.
Oh, and sorry for quoting again and so soon, but this is her exact reaction
"She honestly couldn't care less about the tournament. For once in her life, Hogwarts actually seemed safe. She didn't have to look over her shoulder and wonder who was lurking in the shadows. No Dark Lord attached to her Defence professor. No Slytherin's monster or students being possessed. No escaped criminals or rat Animagi in the hallways. Only Pettigrew and Voldemort lingered on her thoughts, but her nightmares from the summer were distant from her and hadn't been repeated since the World Cup. Sure, she still worried about Sirius and Remus. But her life was relatively calm and comfortable compared to how it had been before. She didn't want to jinx herself by being concerned about things that were out of her scope and the realm of possibility. Even though Luna definitely sensed something in the future, something about the tournament, Holly just couldn't bring herself to care. She wasn't competing, so what did it matter?"
ZeldaQueen: Oh boy, where to begin?
Let's start with the massive Dead Herring. And folks, get used to it for this chapter. The suethor just keeps repeating how nice and safe and happy Holly is, and how nothing bad is definitely going to happen to her, and so on. Chalk up another similarity to Meyer. The upshot, suethor? Throw out the Dead Herring. It's really starting to stink up the joint.
Second, I find it somehow both hilarious and infuriating that we're supposed to believe that Holly was so traumatized and frightened by the stuff that happened to her before. Um, no. No, I will not believe that. Why? BECAUSE SHE DID JACK-ALL TO HEAD OFF THOSE THINGS WHEN THEY HAPPENED! She knew stuff was happening! She knew Quirrell was dangerous! She knew there was a secret passage in her Common Room - a secret passage which led directly to the fucking Chamber of Secrets - and she knew that Scabbers was Pettigrew and that he was nice and safe and holed up with Ron! She could have told Dumbledore any of this stuff, neutralizing the threat! She could have done so much more! Instead, she puttered around and did nothing! She followed Quirrell alone, setting herself up to get kidnapped! She decided that it was too much effort to explore the tunnels! She only brought Lockhart along to the Chamber, because she wanted to get some twisted revenge on him! She never told any of the teachers about the Basilisk because she couldn't be bothered to think of a proper cover story for her stupid Mind Magic and Tom Riddle! She somehow figured that it was better to make a very weak attempt to befriend Ron and steal Scabbers instead of telling Dumbledore to order Ron to hand in the rat, or get Fred and George to steal it, or something, anything, WHY DOES SHE NEVER DO ANYTHING???
Sorry.
Anyway, that was point two.
Point three - See that last bit there? Holly pretty much said "Luna warned me that something bad is going to happen, but I can't be bothered to care". Holly, it's things like this that cause you to wind up in those aforementioned situations. If Harry ever caught wind of something bad happening, he minded it. Granted, he also poked around and got into trouble, but the fact remains that he certainly didn't stick his fingers in his ears and go "La la la Happyland".
And to the suethor, I just think Holly's an utter dumbass. She was at the Quiddich World Cup and now she's getting warning that something bad is happening and her response is "Oh, it can't possibly affect me". The hell?
We go to a very boring laundry list of the classes, and more SUBTLE FORESHADOWING as we are treated to a long explanation of what each and every one of Holly's friends thinks of Moody. Given how she skated over the other classes, I wonder how the suethor thought that this much devotion wasn't noticeable. Also, we get heavy-handed foreshadowing about how Luna can't read his mind. But that's surely not suspicious, right?
But hey, forget about very suspicious teachers! It's time to worry about Riddle! Yeah, I know I was missing that bastard. Turns out that he's been working on some sort of a project, which he tends to night and day. Holly worries about this, because "It simply wasn't healthy". Yeah, well neither is opening an ancient chamber just to talk to a murderous snake, or splitting one's soul into multiple pieces, or drugging the children at an orphanage. Face it, Holly. Your gentlemen friend thar is just plain wrong.
Holly, meanwhile, is angsting because she hasn't had time to talk with him and feels guilty, blah, blah, blah. Shortly before Halloween, she drops in on him. It turns out that he's working on his project in that goddammed secret tunnel and has a ton of books lying around. They have a lot of stilted conversation and Holly comments that "Something that made her think of that lonely boy from the orphanage without any real friends". Suethor, he didn't have friends BECAUSE HE TERRORIZED THEM!
So yeah, Holly starts looking over all of the books and finds one written by Phineas Nigellus. Oh boy. Amazingly, we get acknowledgment that he wasn't a misunderstood woobie, with "Which probably meant that he was a sarcastic bastard who could put Professor Snape to shame. Who would be mortified to learn that the last person in his family was a former Auror turned escaped criminal turned whatever-the-hell-Sirius-was-now. And even worse, a Gryffindor. Blacks, after all, were traditionally in Slytherin or Ravenclaw". Riddle also tells Holly that Nigellus was a former headmaster, failing to note his unpopularity. Holly picks up another book, this one written by a necromancer who was allegedly a vampire. We are then treated to a brief lecture on how vampires are wrongly persecuted, "Especially with all that Vlad the Impaler nonsense a few centuries previous". *raises eyebrows* Did she actually refer to someone jamming people onto stakes as nonsense? Oh, and Holly also finds a book by Morgana le Fey, which she pretty much wets her panties over. We get a lot of stuff about how famous Morgana was, and I suspect that either the suethor is a fan of Authurian legend or she just likes the idea of a pagan sorceress.
Holly finally notices that all of these books have something to do with magic pertaining to souls. She asks Riddle what he's up to, and he finally admits that he's researching a way to get out of the diary.
Yes, because I know I'd love to see that bastard wandering around without limitations! Oh, and he's a memory! He's not a person! He only exists because the diary's a frigging horcrux!
Of course, Holly instantly thinks that this is great, because she just would hate if someone took away the diary, since "Lord Voldemort was not someone to be taken lightly, and wizards had very long memories for certain things".
... Um, Holly? Voldemort committed massive genocide. Why would the wizarding world not remember that? Unless the implication is that they'd remember that Riddle and Voldemort are the same person. I don't know. I think my brain is quitting from the idiocy.
Anyway, Riddle angsts a TON, and Holly agrees to help him out. He thanks her and then asks "Tell me, have you ever heard of a horcrux?"
EXCUSE ME?
I don't know what makes me so angry about that, folks. Maybe it's the fact that such an important plot point, which the entire plot of the sixth book hinged on, is just casually thrown out there like that. Maybe it's the fact that you just know that Riddle will be able to tell Holly about horcruxes so she won't have to bother with Dumbledore. Maybe it's the fact that the suethor is, yet again, glossing over something which is very Dark and dangerous, along with the implications of it (you know, split soul, committing murder, all that fun stuff?)
Or, maybe it's because that's all we hear of it! Seriously, after that sentence, we get a scene break and jump to the Goblet of Fire! The suethor drops horcruxes in there AND DOESN'T GIVE ANY EXPLANATION OR FOLLOW-UP! GOD!
Okay, whatever. We need to get through this. It's now Halloween and everyone's waiting for the other schools to arrive. And it seems that the suethor is not yet done infuriating me, because she has Holly keep narrating things in the most unpleasant and arrogant way possible. Also, head's up - it becomes clear rather quickly that the suethor hates Beauxbatons and loves Durmstrang. I guess it makes sense, what with Durmstrang having the history of Dark magic inclinations. Also-also, we never are told exactly how much of the Tournament was explained and the suethor doesn't see fit to have Holly wonder or speculate on anything. Instead, the arrivals just happen and Holly automatically knows who they are, which is just bad writing. Right.
So the school is waiting at the front of the castle and "In reality, Holly felt that it was more to gawk at the newcomers like a bunch of Muggleborns on their first trip to Diagon. It didn't help, of course, that their guests decided to oblige them by arriving in the most spectacular methods possible". Apparently the suethor missed that it was mandatory to go out there. And yes, how dare they show any interest in visitors to the castle? And how dare said newcomers want to impress their hosts? I'm not going to touch on that Muggleborn comment, for fear of my head asploding. Beauxbatons shows up in their canon fashion and the entire thing has had emotion almost completely drained. There's also some Hagrid bashing, as Holly speculates that he'd love the giant horses, but then figures that he wouldn't because they aren't deadly. She also bashes Beauxbatons for using a flying carriage, like it was that much more stuck up for them to use that instead of a regular one. Erm, Holly? Did you miss the part where they flew here from France?
Madame Maxine gets out with her students and Holly bashes them for being cold. Before they even have a chance to go inside, Durmstrang shows up. These guys are treated to purple prose from the suethor. We also are treated to more hand-holding, as the suethor makes certain that we know that Kakeroff is a Not Nice Guy who doesn't really mean the good things he says to Dumbledore. "He greeted Dumbledore amicably enough, but it was very obvious that he didn't mean a word. His eyes were too slitted, too calculating and darting around as he took everything in. And his smile didn't at all seem pleased. Rather, he looked like Professor Snape after Gryffindor won a Quidditch match when he was already thinking up all manner of unsavoury ways from them to lose House points".
*rolls eyes* Thank you, suethor. Where would we be without you?
We're also told how happy the students are to see Hogwarts, and I suspect that this is another reason they get off light - they love the place. It'd be easy to have them kiss the Sue's robes.
And...I have to spork this next bit. I really do. I tried to summarize it, but I can't do it justice. I'm sorry
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From somewhere behind her, she heard Ron Weasley's near-shriek of joy at the realization that his Quidditch hero was among their number.
ZeldaQueen: And of course, he sucks for that. Really, how dare he get excited over anything, the plebe?
Actually, is it just me, or does that smack of how Bella treats her friends, going on about how they "babble" over stuff she thinks is boring, unable to grasp that they're excited for it?
Honestly, it was like the boy had never met someone famous before.
ZeldaQueen: . . . She's referring to herself with that statement.
She just basically said "Gawd, why's someone bothering to be impressed by the famous Quidditch champion who worked his way up and earned his fame and fortune by a young age? After all, they already know me!"
I honestly don't know what to say to that...that arrogance
Nevertheless, much to her exasperation, a number of other students around her were behaving in a similar manner, searching for quills and parchment and wondering if he would sign an autograph in lipstick.
ZeldaQueen: Yes, how dare they show interest in the guy? I bet you wish they were clamoring for your autograph, eh?
Except for Slytherin that was. After all, if they'd met one celebrity, it was like knowing them all.
ZeldaQueen: I think the suethor is testing my will to live. I honestly can't express how enraging that arrogance is. Y'all are just going to have to imagine it
They filed into the Great Hall not long afterwards, and the Hogwarts students immediately went to their House tables. However, their guests lingered by the doors in two distinct groups, uncertain where to go and not comfortable enough to mingle with each other.
ZeldaQueen: Or, maybe they're waiting for their teachers to instruct them
Finally, the apparent leaders made the decision for them. A slender girl with silvery-blonde hair marched off towards the Ravenclaw table with the rest of Beauxbatons trailing in her wake.
ZeldaQueen: I have a nasty feeling that Fleur's going to get Scary Sue-ified
Durmstrang, following Krum's lead, wandered over to the Slytherin table. Which was coincidentally the furthest from the windows and in the warmest part of the room.
ZeldaQueen: Because Slytherins rock, dontcha know?
Krum took them to the middle of the table, near where the Quidditch team usually sat. Not that he would know that or anything.
ZeldaQueen: The contrivances are amazing. *rolls eyes*
The Slytherins exchanged a universal glance before making room, moving to the sides like parting of a sea.
ZeldaQueen: (Slytherins) "Well, we suppose that you're good enough to be graced with our presence. Don't get our boots dirty, peons"
An apt description once they noticed the blood red robes peeking out from beneath all the furs. The fourth-years were actually separated by the move with Draco now on one side of the Durmstrang students and Pansy on the other. Holly was seated facing them, Blaise watching with interest from one side and Titania on the other.
ZeldaQueen: Frankly, dear Suethor, I don't give a damn
Somehow, as though Fate itself was conspiring against her, Holly ended up directly across from Krum.
ZeldaQueen: *holds head in hands* I really hate this. I hate when Suethors just play matchmaker with their Sues to get them together with one of the Champions. It always happens in the most contrived way and it's stupid!
He glanced at her and nodded in greeting before looking away. Only to hesitate as his brain processed what he'd just seen.
ZeldaQueen: What, a fragment?
Then, his head whipped back around as Krum did an actual double take, and his eyes widened for a few seconds before narrowing thoughtfully. He didn't even need to elbow the boy beside him for the others to catch on. They all just looked at her.
ZeldaQueen: I swear to God, if this is setting up for what I think it is...
It didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened. Besides, Holly had the distinct impression that her scar was visible through her bangs.
ZeldaQueen: I hate her. I hate her and I want her to die in a very painful fashion. Brace yourselves for impact, everyone
And she decided to head them off at the pass.
"Hello," she said with as much cheer as she could muster, an unexpected amount.
ZeldaQueen: She's at a banquet with a bunch of friends and she's surprised she can be cheerful?
"'Ello," Krum returned. "You are Holly Potter, yes?" He asked that as if he couldn't quite believe his eyes, but at least, he wasn't staring. More like astonished gazing.
ZeldaQueen: Yeah, because that's such a big difference!
As though he didn't meet a Dark Lord slayer every day.
ZeldaQueen: I HATE YOU! DIE IN A FIRE!
"Yes, I am." Then, Holly decided to be a bit wicked. "And you are?"
ZeldaQueen: I also hate when the Sues try to be coy and get the designated love interest stammering and nervous, no matter how with-it he was in canon
He blinked before understanding dawned. "Forgive me. I am Viktor Krum."
ZeldaQueen: (Krum) "I am international Quidditch star. Are you trying to be funny?"
He reached across the table to sake her hand,
ZeldaQueen: He was going to pour a Japanese alcoholic beverage on it?
and she was surprised by the strength of his grip, the tingle of magic that raced across her skin as he touched her.
ZeldaQueen: *beats head on table*
Most men refused to hold on that tightly, and it was a rather refreshing change.
ZeldaQueen: STOP GOING FOR FORESHADOWING, SUETHOR! YOU SUCK AT IT!
He even turned to Titania and Blaise afterwards.
ZeldaQueen: Why would it be surprising that he associate with the people he's sitting with?
Actually, I get why it's so shocking. These characters all show the depth and personality of wet cardboard. Any person who sees them appealing to interact with is extraordinary
"Blaise Zabini," her friend introduced coolly. "Saw you at the World Cup. Pity that your team lost."
ZeldaQueen: Yes, watch as her minion boyfriend friend is so cool and collected! Excitement and squee is for losers, you know?
Krum grimaced faintly. "That it vas." His attention flickered back to Holly, but he remained silent, fingers drumming against the table.
ZeldaQueen: Mary Sue. Step away from Krum. Like, right now
Holly looked straight back at him. It was hard not too since he was sitting right in front of her and all.
ZeldaQueen: THIS IS FUCKING TWILIGHT AND THAT BIOLOGY LAB ALL OVER AGAIN!
She thought that she heard Titania snicker beside her, but the older girl was more interested in the boy next to Krum. He might not be famous like his friend, but his looks more than made up for it, and the way he gazed back at her indicated that her attention was reciprocated.
ZeldaQueen: (Titania) "Well, he's not a famous sports star, but he's hot and carries the torch for me after we've stared at each other for two minutes. I'll take him!"
Krum's focus momentarily flickered to them before going back to Holly.
"See something that interests you," Blaise cut in then.
ZeldaQueen: - forgetting his question marks along the way
His eyebrow was lifted, and he looked at Krum as one would a naughty child.
ZeldaQueen: OH MY LORD, STOP IT! KRUM IS A SPORTS STAR WHO HAS HAD TO GROW UP FAST AND WORK HARD FOR HIS FAME! THAT WHINY BASTARD HAS NO RIGHT TO GET ALL HIGH AND MIGHTY ON HIM!
He shrugged sheepishly and smiled at Holly. "I apologise. I vas not expecting you to be here."
ZeldaQueen: Really Krum, you should be used to Mary Sues butting in on the Triwizard Tournament
He paused for a heartbeat to nibble on his lip. "Or for you to be so-"
If he said young, she might just have to curse him underneath the table.
ZeldaQueen: And if he had been going for "beautiful", I might just have to toss my spork through the screen.
Seriously though, why would she react so badly to being called "young"? It's hardly something to be touchy about and she was going on about how she was surprised that Krum was still in school!
But whatever Krum would've said was lost as Dumbledore rose to make announcements, and Holly finally realised that there were even more people sitting at the teacher's table than expected, including Percy Weasley's boss and Ludo Bagman. But that flitted away as Dumbledore got down to business and explained the tournament. Holly was more than relieved to learn about the Age Line, a fantastic idea if she had ever heard one, and the Goblet of Fire sounded intriguing. Still, none of it really held her interest since it didn't affect her, and she was rather glad when the headmaster resumed his seat and dinner appeared.
ZeldaQueen: Yes folks, that's it. That's what the explanation for Crouch and Bagman and the titular Goblet of Fire and the Age Line is reduced to. One cramped paragraph.
On another note, what did I tell you about the dead herrings, Suethor? You're not looking clever, this is annoying. It also makes your Mary Sue look stupid, going "Oh, I'm not interested in something that doesn't involve me!"
Krum didn't talk much during the meal. He mostly ate and listened to his companions, adding a nod or appropriate response where needed but seemingly content to sit on the sidelines.
ZeldaQueen: (Krum) "Perhaps if I don't say anything, the Sue will ignore me"
Holly caught his eye every now and then, but for the most part, she spoke with Blaise and Titania's new friend, Radek. Apparently, he and Krum had known each other since they were very young. A given since their mothers were sisters.
ZeldaQueen: I don't care.
And on that fragment, we shall end
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We are then treated to a very lengthy description of the sleepover, which sounds like the Suethor cribbed from American Girls or something. To quote the Nostalgia Chick, "look, girly things!" It's stupid and utterly pointless and has gratuitous Ginny bashing and I'm furious that this is getting six rather lengthy paragraphs of description while the Triwizard Tournament got one.
Holly wakes up the next day, and we're reminded of her angsty past because she got up midmorning instead of dawn, shoot me now. Oh, and apparently Luna fell asleep on Holly and is using her as a makeshift pillow. If this were Rose Potter or Hogwarts Exposed, I'd make a lesbian joke. This is just boring and has none of that subtext, though, so I shall refrain.
She and Blaise spend the glossed-over day helping Riddle with his reasearch, and then they go to dinner and we get a bastardized version of the conversation about the possible champions. There's some girly sighing over Diggory and Holly thinks he's alright because he didn't think she was attacking students in the second year. In other words, he kissed her butt. Nice. The other girls make it clear that they're shipping Holly with Krum, and I want to die. They also bash Colin and Ginny for being her "fan club", which I hate partly because they're perfectly fine with Blaise's Sue siblings following her around and partly because in canon, they don't follow Harry that much by now! They also make a number of jokes about Holly turning into a dark witch with her mental powers, while Colin and Ginny are her followers. That's halfway right, but they'd be the evil followers.
And...it's time for the champions to be chosen. We get Krum, Fleur, and Diggory, as with canon. The suethor spends this entire time beating us over the head with how nothing will possibly happen to Holly this time, she's perfectly safe, blah, blah blah. Her name gets spit out of the goblet and she starts to angst. The - fucking - end
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AN: An update on my birthday, my gift to you.
ZeldaQueen: Like menstration was a "gift" to Eve
School is hard; breaks are better.
ZeldaQueen: Better for what? Water polo? Shoe shining? Jello-eating contests?
I'm already working on the next chapter. Hopefully, it won't take three months this time.
ZeldaQueen: I hate you and I am not looking forward to that chapter. Oh God, the angsting...
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ZeldaQueen: Right, you know how I'm going to deal with this? I Summon ART NOUVEAU AMY POND! GOOOO!
ZeldaQueen: Angst away, you little bitch! Amy Pond will own your whiny shit! And for a double combo...
ZeldaQueen: Because Amy and Rory trump that Mary Sue and whichever horrible cut-out is posing as her boyfriend
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Onward to: Chapter 45: Black Mail
Back to: Chapter 43: Sine Qua Non
Return to: Table of Contents
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Chapter 44: Tournaments And Treachery
ZeldaQueen: Alright. So. We're at the week before Halloween already, and the school is abuzz with questions about the tournament. The suethor tells us all about it, with this literary prize
"Speculation abound about the other schools included, wondering who they would send. Not to mention who would be Hogwarts' own champion. How the champions would be chosen. What tasks they had to perform. Which school would win"
ZeldaQueen: *cough*
"Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me"
ZeldaQueen: Are we sure that Lady Azar de Tameran isn't Stephenie Meyer's online name?
Anyway, everyone is excited except for Holly. She can't care less about the tournament. It's supposed to show that she's just happy that the school's safe, but it just comes across as Holly being really arrogant. Also, I have to ask - has Holly ever shown actual teenage excitement over something? She got the Marauder's Map and has only used it as a plot device to find Pettigrew. She never used it to sneak to Hogsmeade or avoid Filch. Even when we're supposed to think that she's really excited over Quiddich, it just feels like "Oh, right, ho hum". Did the suethor think that Harry was stupid to get excited over stuff like that? Because either that, or it's really bad writing. Or both.
Oh, and sorry for quoting again and so soon, but this is her exact reaction
"She honestly couldn't care less about the tournament. For once in her life, Hogwarts actually seemed safe. She didn't have to look over her shoulder and wonder who was lurking in the shadows. No Dark Lord attached to her Defence professor. No Slytherin's monster or students being possessed. No escaped criminals or rat Animagi in the hallways. Only Pettigrew and Voldemort lingered on her thoughts, but her nightmares from the summer were distant from her and hadn't been repeated since the World Cup. Sure, she still worried about Sirius and Remus. But her life was relatively calm and comfortable compared to how it had been before. She didn't want to jinx herself by being concerned about things that were out of her scope and the realm of possibility. Even though Luna definitely sensed something in the future, something about the tournament, Holly just couldn't bring herself to care. She wasn't competing, so what did it matter?"
ZeldaQueen: Oh boy, where to begin?
Let's start with the massive Dead Herring. And folks, get used to it for this chapter. The suethor just keeps repeating how nice and safe and happy Holly is, and how nothing bad is definitely going to happen to her, and so on. Chalk up another similarity to Meyer. The upshot, suethor? Throw out the Dead Herring. It's really starting to stink up the joint.
Second, I find it somehow both hilarious and infuriating that we're supposed to believe that Holly was so traumatized and frightened by the stuff that happened to her before. Um, no. No, I will not believe that. Why? BECAUSE SHE DID JACK-ALL TO HEAD OFF THOSE THINGS WHEN THEY HAPPENED! She knew stuff was happening! She knew Quirrell was dangerous! She knew there was a secret passage in her Common Room - a secret passage which led directly to the fucking Chamber of Secrets - and she knew that Scabbers was Pettigrew and that he was nice and safe and holed up with Ron! She could have told Dumbledore any of this stuff, neutralizing the threat! She could have done so much more! Instead, she puttered around and did nothing! She followed Quirrell alone, setting herself up to get kidnapped! She decided that it was too much effort to explore the tunnels! She only brought Lockhart along to the Chamber, because she wanted to get some twisted revenge on him! She never told any of the teachers about the Basilisk because she couldn't be bothered to think of a proper cover story for her stupid Mind Magic and Tom Riddle! She somehow figured that it was better to make a very weak attempt to befriend Ron and steal Scabbers instead of telling Dumbledore to order Ron to hand in the rat, or get Fred and George to steal it, or something, anything, WHY DOES SHE NEVER DO ANYTHING???
Sorry.
Anyway, that was point two.
Point three - See that last bit there? Holly pretty much said "Luna warned me that something bad is going to happen, but I can't be bothered to care". Holly, it's things like this that cause you to wind up in those aforementioned situations. If Harry ever caught wind of something bad happening, he minded it. Granted, he also poked around and got into trouble, but the fact remains that he certainly didn't stick his fingers in his ears and go "La la la Happyland".
And to the suethor, I just think Holly's an utter dumbass. She was at the Quiddich World Cup and now she's getting warning that something bad is happening and her response is "Oh, it can't possibly affect me". The hell?
We go to a very boring laundry list of the classes, and more SUBTLE FORESHADOWING as we are treated to a long explanation of what each and every one of Holly's friends thinks of Moody. Given how she skated over the other classes, I wonder how the suethor thought that this much devotion wasn't noticeable. Also, we get heavy-handed foreshadowing about how Luna can't read his mind. But that's surely not suspicious, right?
But hey, forget about very suspicious teachers! It's time to worry about Riddle! Yeah, I know I was missing that bastard. Turns out that he's been working on some sort of a project, which he tends to night and day. Holly worries about this, because "It simply wasn't healthy". Yeah, well neither is opening an ancient chamber just to talk to a murderous snake, or splitting one's soul into multiple pieces, or drugging the children at an orphanage. Face it, Holly. Your gentlemen friend thar is just plain wrong.
Holly, meanwhile, is angsting because she hasn't had time to talk with him and feels guilty, blah, blah, blah. Shortly before Halloween, she drops in on him. It turns out that he's working on his project in that goddammed secret tunnel and has a ton of books lying around. They have a lot of stilted conversation and Holly comments that "Something that made her think of that lonely boy from the orphanage without any real friends". Suethor, he didn't have friends BECAUSE HE TERRORIZED THEM!
So yeah, Holly starts looking over all of the books and finds one written by Phineas Nigellus. Oh boy. Amazingly, we get acknowledgment that he wasn't a misunderstood woobie, with "Which probably meant that he was a sarcastic bastard who could put Professor Snape to shame. Who would be mortified to learn that the last person in his family was a former Auror turned escaped criminal turned whatever-the-hell-Sirius-was-now. And even worse, a Gryffindor. Blacks, after all, were traditionally in Slytherin or Ravenclaw". Riddle also tells Holly that Nigellus was a former headmaster, failing to note his unpopularity. Holly picks up another book, this one written by a necromancer who was allegedly a vampire. We are then treated to a brief lecture on how vampires are wrongly persecuted, "Especially with all that Vlad the Impaler nonsense a few centuries previous". *raises eyebrows* Did she actually refer to someone jamming people onto stakes as nonsense? Oh, and Holly also finds a book by Morgana le Fey, which she pretty much wets her panties over. We get a lot of stuff about how famous Morgana was, and I suspect that either the suethor is a fan of Authurian legend or she just likes the idea of a pagan sorceress.
Holly finally notices that all of these books have something to do with magic pertaining to souls. She asks Riddle what he's up to, and he finally admits that he's researching a way to get out of the diary.
Yes, because I know I'd love to see that bastard wandering around without limitations! Oh, and he's a memory! He's not a person! He only exists because the diary's a frigging horcrux!
Of course, Holly instantly thinks that this is great, because she just would hate if someone took away the diary, since "Lord Voldemort was not someone to be taken lightly, and wizards had very long memories for certain things".
... Um, Holly? Voldemort committed massive genocide. Why would the wizarding world not remember that? Unless the implication is that they'd remember that Riddle and Voldemort are the same person. I don't know. I think my brain is quitting from the idiocy.
Anyway, Riddle angsts a TON, and Holly agrees to help him out. He thanks her and then asks "Tell me, have you ever heard of a horcrux?"
EXCUSE ME?
I don't know what makes me so angry about that, folks. Maybe it's the fact that such an important plot point, which the entire plot of the sixth book hinged on, is just casually thrown out there like that. Maybe it's the fact that you just know that Riddle will be able to tell Holly about horcruxes so she won't have to bother with Dumbledore. Maybe it's the fact that the suethor is, yet again, glossing over something which is very Dark and dangerous, along with the implications of it (you know, split soul, committing murder, all that fun stuff?)
Or, maybe it's because that's all we hear of it! Seriously, after that sentence, we get a scene break and jump to the Goblet of Fire! The suethor drops horcruxes in there AND DOESN'T GIVE ANY EXPLANATION OR FOLLOW-UP! GOD!
Okay, whatever. We need to get through this. It's now Halloween and everyone's waiting for the other schools to arrive. And it seems that the suethor is not yet done infuriating me, because she has Holly keep narrating things in the most unpleasant and arrogant way possible. Also, head's up - it becomes clear rather quickly that the suethor hates Beauxbatons and loves Durmstrang. I guess it makes sense, what with Durmstrang having the history of Dark magic inclinations. Also-also, we never are told exactly how much of the Tournament was explained and the suethor doesn't see fit to have Holly wonder or speculate on anything. Instead, the arrivals just happen and Holly automatically knows who they are, which is just bad writing. Right.
So the school is waiting at the front of the castle and "In reality, Holly felt that it was more to gawk at the newcomers like a bunch of Muggleborns on their first trip to Diagon. It didn't help, of course, that their guests decided to oblige them by arriving in the most spectacular methods possible". Apparently the suethor missed that it was mandatory to go out there. And yes, how dare they show any interest in visitors to the castle? And how dare said newcomers want to impress their hosts? I'm not going to touch on that Muggleborn comment, for fear of my head asploding. Beauxbatons shows up in their canon fashion and the entire thing has had emotion almost completely drained. There's also some Hagrid bashing, as Holly speculates that he'd love the giant horses, but then figures that he wouldn't because they aren't deadly. She also bashes Beauxbatons for using a flying carriage, like it was that much more stuck up for them to use that instead of a regular one. Erm, Holly? Did you miss the part where they flew here from France?
Madame Maxine gets out with her students and Holly bashes them for being cold. Before they even have a chance to go inside, Durmstrang shows up. These guys are treated to purple prose from the suethor. We also are treated to more hand-holding, as the suethor makes certain that we know that Kakeroff is a Not Nice Guy who doesn't really mean the good things he says to Dumbledore. "He greeted Dumbledore amicably enough, but it was very obvious that he didn't mean a word. His eyes were too slitted, too calculating and darting around as he took everything in. And his smile didn't at all seem pleased. Rather, he looked like Professor Snape after Gryffindor won a Quidditch match when he was already thinking up all manner of unsavoury ways from them to lose House points".
*rolls eyes* Thank you, suethor. Where would we be without you?
We're also told how happy the students are to see Hogwarts, and I suspect that this is another reason they get off light - they love the place. It'd be easy to have them kiss the Sue's robes.
And...I have to spork this next bit. I really do. I tried to summarize it, but I can't do it justice. I'm sorry
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From somewhere behind her, she heard Ron Weasley's near-shriek of joy at the realization that his Quidditch hero was among their number.
ZeldaQueen: And of course, he sucks for that. Really, how dare he get excited over anything, the plebe?
Actually, is it just me, or does that smack of how Bella treats her friends, going on about how they "babble" over stuff she thinks is boring, unable to grasp that they're excited for it?
Honestly, it was like the boy had never met someone famous before.
ZeldaQueen: . . . She's referring to herself with that statement.
She just basically said "Gawd, why's someone bothering to be impressed by the famous Quidditch champion who worked his way up and earned his fame and fortune by a young age? After all, they already know me!"
I honestly don't know what to say to that...that arrogance
Nevertheless, much to her exasperation, a number of other students around her were behaving in a similar manner, searching for quills and parchment and wondering if he would sign an autograph in lipstick.
ZeldaQueen: Yes, how dare they show interest in the guy? I bet you wish they were clamoring for your autograph, eh?
Except for Slytherin that was. After all, if they'd met one celebrity, it was like knowing them all.
ZeldaQueen: I think the suethor is testing my will to live. I honestly can't express how enraging that arrogance is. Y'all are just going to have to imagine it
They filed into the Great Hall not long afterwards, and the Hogwarts students immediately went to their House tables. However, their guests lingered by the doors in two distinct groups, uncertain where to go and not comfortable enough to mingle with each other.
ZeldaQueen: Or, maybe they're waiting for their teachers to instruct them
Finally, the apparent leaders made the decision for them. A slender girl with silvery-blonde hair marched off towards the Ravenclaw table with the rest of Beauxbatons trailing in her wake.
ZeldaQueen: I have a nasty feeling that Fleur's going to get Scary Sue-ified
Durmstrang, following Krum's lead, wandered over to the Slytherin table. Which was coincidentally the furthest from the windows and in the warmest part of the room.
ZeldaQueen: Because Slytherins rock, dontcha know?
Krum took them to the middle of the table, near where the Quidditch team usually sat. Not that he would know that or anything.
ZeldaQueen: The contrivances are amazing. *rolls eyes*
The Slytherins exchanged a universal glance before making room, moving to the sides like parting of a sea.
ZeldaQueen: (Slytherins) "Well, we suppose that you're good enough to be graced with our presence. Don't get our boots dirty, peons"
An apt description once they noticed the blood red robes peeking out from beneath all the furs. The fourth-years were actually separated by the move with Draco now on one side of the Durmstrang students and Pansy on the other. Holly was seated facing them, Blaise watching with interest from one side and Titania on the other.
ZeldaQueen: Frankly, dear Suethor, I don't give a damn
Somehow, as though Fate itself was conspiring against her, Holly ended up directly across from Krum.
ZeldaQueen: *holds head in hands* I really hate this. I hate when Suethors just play matchmaker with their Sues to get them together with one of the Champions. It always happens in the most contrived way and it's stupid!
He glanced at her and nodded in greeting before looking away. Only to hesitate as his brain processed what he'd just seen.
ZeldaQueen: What, a fragment?
Then, his head whipped back around as Krum did an actual double take, and his eyes widened for a few seconds before narrowing thoughtfully. He didn't even need to elbow the boy beside him for the others to catch on. They all just looked at her.
ZeldaQueen: I swear to God, if this is setting up for what I think it is...
It didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened. Besides, Holly had the distinct impression that her scar was visible through her bangs.
ZeldaQueen: I hate her. I hate her and I want her to die in a very painful fashion. Brace yourselves for impact, everyone
And she decided to head them off at the pass.
"Hello," she said with as much cheer as she could muster, an unexpected amount.
ZeldaQueen: She's at a banquet with a bunch of friends and she's surprised she can be cheerful?
"'Ello," Krum returned. "You are Holly Potter, yes?" He asked that as if he couldn't quite believe his eyes, but at least, he wasn't staring. More like astonished gazing.
ZeldaQueen: Yeah, because that's such a big difference!
As though he didn't meet a Dark Lord slayer every day.
ZeldaQueen: I HATE YOU! DIE IN A FIRE!
"Yes, I am." Then, Holly decided to be a bit wicked. "And you are?"
ZeldaQueen: I also hate when the Sues try to be coy and get the designated love interest stammering and nervous, no matter how with-it he was in canon
He blinked before understanding dawned. "Forgive me. I am Viktor Krum."
ZeldaQueen: (Krum) "I am international Quidditch star. Are you trying to be funny?"
He reached across the table to sake her hand,
ZeldaQueen: He was going to pour a Japanese alcoholic beverage on it?
and she was surprised by the strength of his grip, the tingle of magic that raced across her skin as he touched her.
ZeldaQueen: *beats head on table*
Most men refused to hold on that tightly, and it was a rather refreshing change.
ZeldaQueen: STOP GOING FOR FORESHADOWING, SUETHOR! YOU SUCK AT IT!
He even turned to Titania and Blaise afterwards.
ZeldaQueen: Why would it be surprising that he associate with the people he's sitting with?
Actually, I get why it's so shocking. These characters all show the depth and personality of wet cardboard. Any person who sees them appealing to interact with is extraordinary
"Blaise Zabini," her friend introduced coolly. "Saw you at the World Cup. Pity that your team lost."
ZeldaQueen: Yes, watch as her minion boyfriend friend is so cool and collected! Excitement and squee is for losers, you know?
Krum grimaced faintly. "That it vas." His attention flickered back to Holly, but he remained silent, fingers drumming against the table.
ZeldaQueen: Mary Sue. Step away from Krum. Like, right now
Holly looked straight back at him. It was hard not too since he was sitting right in front of her and all.
ZeldaQueen: THIS IS FUCKING TWILIGHT AND THAT BIOLOGY LAB ALL OVER AGAIN!
She thought that she heard Titania snicker beside her, but the older girl was more interested in the boy next to Krum. He might not be famous like his friend, but his looks more than made up for it, and the way he gazed back at her indicated that her attention was reciprocated.
ZeldaQueen: (Titania) "Well, he's not a famous sports star, but he's hot and carries the torch for me after we've stared at each other for two minutes. I'll take him!"
Krum's focus momentarily flickered to them before going back to Holly.
"See something that interests you," Blaise cut in then.
ZeldaQueen: - forgetting his question marks along the way
His eyebrow was lifted, and he looked at Krum as one would a naughty child.
ZeldaQueen: OH MY LORD, STOP IT! KRUM IS A SPORTS STAR WHO HAS HAD TO GROW UP FAST AND WORK HARD FOR HIS FAME! THAT WHINY BASTARD HAS NO RIGHT TO GET ALL HIGH AND MIGHTY ON HIM!
He shrugged sheepishly and smiled at Holly. "I apologise. I vas not expecting you to be here."
ZeldaQueen: Really Krum, you should be used to Mary Sues butting in on the Triwizard Tournament
He paused for a heartbeat to nibble on his lip. "Or for you to be so-"
If he said young, she might just have to curse him underneath the table.
ZeldaQueen: And if he had been going for "beautiful", I might just have to toss my spork through the screen.
Seriously though, why would she react so badly to being called "young"? It's hardly something to be touchy about and she was going on about how she was surprised that Krum was still in school!
But whatever Krum would've said was lost as Dumbledore rose to make announcements, and Holly finally realised that there were even more people sitting at the teacher's table than expected, including Percy Weasley's boss and Ludo Bagman. But that flitted away as Dumbledore got down to business and explained the tournament. Holly was more than relieved to learn about the Age Line, a fantastic idea if she had ever heard one, and the Goblet of Fire sounded intriguing. Still, none of it really held her interest since it didn't affect her, and she was rather glad when the headmaster resumed his seat and dinner appeared.
ZeldaQueen: Yes folks, that's it. That's what the explanation for Crouch and Bagman and the titular Goblet of Fire and the Age Line is reduced to. One cramped paragraph.
On another note, what did I tell you about the dead herrings, Suethor? You're not looking clever, this is annoying. It also makes your Mary Sue look stupid, going "Oh, I'm not interested in something that doesn't involve me!"
Krum didn't talk much during the meal. He mostly ate and listened to his companions, adding a nod or appropriate response where needed but seemingly content to sit on the sidelines.
ZeldaQueen: (Krum) "Perhaps if I don't say anything, the Sue will ignore me"
Holly caught his eye every now and then, but for the most part, she spoke with Blaise and Titania's new friend, Radek. Apparently, he and Krum had known each other since they were very young. A given since their mothers were sisters.
ZeldaQueen: I don't care.
And on that fragment, we shall end
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We are then treated to a very lengthy description of the sleepover, which sounds like the Suethor cribbed from American Girls or something. To quote the Nostalgia Chick, "look, girly things!" It's stupid and utterly pointless and has gratuitous Ginny bashing and I'm furious that this is getting six rather lengthy paragraphs of description while the Triwizard Tournament got one.
Holly wakes up the next day, and we're reminded of her angsty past because she got up midmorning instead of dawn, shoot me now. Oh, and apparently Luna fell asleep on Holly and is using her as a makeshift pillow. If this were Rose Potter or Hogwarts Exposed, I'd make a lesbian joke. This is just boring and has none of that subtext, though, so I shall refrain.
She and Blaise spend the glossed-over day helping Riddle with his reasearch, and then they go to dinner and we get a bastardized version of the conversation about the possible champions. There's some girly sighing over Diggory and Holly thinks he's alright because he didn't think she was attacking students in the second year. In other words, he kissed her butt. Nice. The other girls make it clear that they're shipping Holly with Krum, and I want to die. They also bash Colin and Ginny for being her "fan club", which I hate partly because they're perfectly fine with Blaise's Sue siblings following her around and partly because in canon, they don't follow Harry that much by now! They also make a number of jokes about Holly turning into a dark witch with her mental powers, while Colin and Ginny are her followers. That's halfway right, but they'd be the evil followers.
And...it's time for the champions to be chosen. We get Krum, Fleur, and Diggory, as with canon. The suethor spends this entire time beating us over the head with how nothing will possibly happen to Holly this time, she's perfectly safe, blah, blah blah. Her name gets spit out of the goblet and she starts to angst. The - fucking - end
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AN: An update on my birthday, my gift to you.
ZeldaQueen: Like menstration was a "gift" to Eve
School is hard; breaks are better.
ZeldaQueen: Better for what? Water polo? Shoe shining? Jello-eating contests?
I'm already working on the next chapter. Hopefully, it won't take three months this time.
ZeldaQueen: I hate you and I am not looking forward to that chapter. Oh God, the angsting...
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ZeldaQueen: Right, you know how I'm going to deal with this? I Summon ART NOUVEAU AMY POND! GOOOO!
ZeldaQueen: Angst away, you little bitch! Amy Pond will own your whiny shit! And for a double combo...
ZeldaQueen: Because Amy and Rory trump that Mary Sue and whichever horrible cut-out is posing as her boyfriend
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Onward to: Chapter 45: Black Mail
Back to: Chapter 43: Sine Qua Non
Return to: Table of Contents