My Inner Life: Chapter 16 - Life Resumes (Anniversary Night)
Souther Gaelic: Hey there, everyone! We come to it at last...the final sex scene of this putrid mess called “My Mastubatory Fantasies.” And, well...it’s horrible. I cannot stress the amount of WTFery you will experience from reading this. With that, let’s-a go:
Slowly he lowered his head down again,
SG: Yes, one would assume that his head went down, because he LOWERED it. I do believe that’s one PRORD point.
his breath tickled my skin as he gently nibbled on my neck causing ripples of pleasure to run down my spine. I reached up and ran my hand down his cheek as small moans of pleasure escaped passed my lips.
SG: PAST your lips!
Then I felt his lips move slowly up my neck, then to my mouth as he kissed me forcefully, his tongue slipping past my lips. As out tongues
SG: Your what now? It reads like their tongues are coming out of the closet.
entwined I felt his hands trickling up my sides as he started sliding down the straps of my dress. My body started quivering under his gentle touch as he slid the top of my dress down freeing my breasts. He took his hand and gently ran it over my breast, his fingers teasing the nipple, causing it to become erect, turning it into a small hard pebble.
SG: Good GOD. TWO PRORD points for that last sentence, Suethor. Also, is it just me or is everyone else imagining Flintstone-esque nipples? No. Okay....
The sensation of his fingers caressing my sensitive nipples sent shocks of pleasure threw my body, causing louder moans to pass my lips.
SG: *uses loudspeaker*: THROUGH, YOU STUPID MORON.
Gently he pushed me into the living room, by the fire as he continued to pulled pull my dress slowly down my body, then letting it drop to the floor as his eyes hungrily drank in my nakedness. Then he laid me down, getting on top of me as his lips moved back to mine, his tongue entering my mouth again. I let my hands run up under his tunic, feeling my way to the top as I gently pulled it off and tossed it aside.
SG: Is this supposed to be sexy or boring? Cos quite frankly, I’m eyeing my sock drawer and getting the urge to organize it...
Then Link begun to slowly kiss his way down my body, first to my neck, to crevice between my breasts, then stopping at the navel as he kissed and caressed it with his tongue. Link continued to assault my body with his lips and tongue,
SG: The imagery is disturbing. Also, again the Suethor shows her ignorance about sex in general. Only his lips and tongue? What are his hands doing, pray tell?
causing my body to shudder with feelings of pleasure and ecstasy as I reached up and slipped off his white undergarment, exposing the rest of his heavenly naked body. The candlelight reflected off his immaculate skin,
SG:....He’d better not be a Sparkly White is Right Mormon Vampire.
as I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him down on top of me, forcing our lips to meet again. As we kissed deeply, passionately, our tongues intertwining once again, I had begun to feel his heart beating along side mine as the connection between us became full.
SG: ....Oh God, this is soul-bonding sex. Now we’re going to have to hear about how they’re one in spirit and body and mind and BLERUGH.
Then we drew apart and he slowly rose up, taking one hand and gently running it over my breasts again, his fingertips teasing the hard mounds
SG: Your TITS are hard? Er...you might want to go to a doctor for that. Or not, then you can die sooner :D
as the other slid its way down my body, first to my thighs, then between my legs.
SG: *headdesk* And ONCE AGAIN, Link skips all the good stuff and goes straight for the honeypot. Suethor, however lovely you found him biting your tits and all, I must stress that YOU DON’T JUST DIVE FOR A GIRL’S BITS AFTER HEAVY PETTING.
Then his hand pressed down into me as his fingers slid past the lips of my flower, causing my back to arc as a loud moan moved out my mouth and tore into the air. Then I cried out in ecstasy again as his fingers probed upward and brushed against my clitoris, causing it to fill with blood and become hard.
SG: O-O....OW. Jesus Christ, LINK! He must have had a dentist’s drill installed at the end of his fingers for THAT to happen :x
It felt soo good. Felt soo intense.
SG: *SHRIEK* I HATE that spelling error!
My whole body convulsed, shuddered as he teased the clit by rolling the hard sensitive part between his fingers.
SG: *nastily* Of COURSE it’s sensitive. You made it BLEED.
Then my body suddenly convulsed when he slid his fingers further down and gently pushed two fingers deep inside me, the new sensation causing my back to arc again as my soft moans suddenly turned into loud tiger cries.
SG:....Tiger cries? Like, she just growled like a tiger? Are we SURE she’s not a cat person?
"Oh....my Goddesses….grrrr....Link..more baby.....LINK!"
SG: PORN SPEAK! Bow-chicka-bow-wow...
I screamed in pure ecstasy as his gentle steady made my legs quake.
SG: Question! If he’s just ‘gently’ prodding her crab-infested vagina, why is she spasming so? Maybe if it had been going on for a long time, or she’s mentioned that the slow tortured movements are what’s making her crazy-mad, but...no.
Then he pushed his fingers in deeper, his thrusts reaching back to my G spot
SG: *wallops the Sue* NO MODERN TERMINOLOGIES IN THIS FANDOM!
while his other hand teased the hard mounds on my breasts.
SG: Oh, so your BOOBS aren’t hard! It’s the cancerous tumours growing on them
Then Link quickened his attacks as he sensed that my body was starting to be thrust over the edge. This combination of attacks Link was placing upon my shuddering, pulsating body caused my back arc and twisted,
SG: - clean off. The Sue died instantly. There was much rejoicing.
while my cries of ecstasy tore into the air. Slowly I started to climax and when he rubbed his fingers against the most sensitive spot inside me,
SG: Her small intestine.
I screamed out as my body was finally thrust over the edge and into heaven ….."UNGH…OH MY GODDESSES…..LINK!" I cried as I gushed down Link's hand, the warm juices dripping threw his fingers.
SG: Man, she’s....messy. *wrinkles nose*
Falling back panting I looked into his sexy blue eyes as I saw a burning desire glowing in them.
SG: Well, yes. Since you’re such an egotistical bitch that I can count on ONE HAND the times you thought it nice to bring him off first.
Then I got up and put my lips near his, whispering softly to him against them. "Now my love, it my turn." I said seductively as I reached up and clasped my hands on his broad shoulders and gently pushed him onto the floor. After I pushed him down on the floor,
SG: I do believe that’s another PRORD point.
I straddled him, laying my hands against his chest as I begun to slowly trickle my fingers-tips over his hard muscular body. His body quivered under my touch as soft moans rose up from his throat and out his mouth.
I let my soft hands trace over the muscular outlines of his infatuated body, feeling the silkiness of his immaculate skin. Quietly I watched as his eternal blue eyes pierced me, silently eating my body with a hungry desire. I continued running my hands softly, caressingly over his hard body, causing him to moan softly, his muscles contracting and releasing under my touch.
SG: Where exactly is she touching? Seriously, they’re so deeply in love, right? So Sue, what are Link’s erogenous zones? Where are his happy places? From the description up there, it was like she just hovered her hands over his body and went “I’m not touching you!!!”
Then I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his neck, letting my tongue trace over his skin, tasting him. I wanted nothing more than to taste every bit of flesh before me, to swallow its taste and savor its delicious feeling.
SG: o-o...Methinks the Sue might be some sort of vampire.
Pressing my lips down harder, I bit softly against his wonderful skin, as I started to suckle on his neck, causing Link to groan out loud.
SG: GAH! I was kidding!!
After a little bit of teasing, I slowly kissed my way down his body, my tongue tracing behind my lips as I made my way down to the swollen organ between his legs.
SG: What’s with all these cancerous organs going on in here?
Slowly I took the head of his member into my mouth, teasing the tender tip with my tongue. Then slowly I moved to his shaft, caressing it with my tongue as I slowly licked up and down it.
SG: So far, so boring.
While I caressed his member with my lips and tongue, Link's soft moans soon turned into loud cries of pleasure and ecstasy. I felt his body quivering under my gentle hands as I ran one up over his body, his loud cries of ecstasy filling the room.
SG: Jesus Christ, use a thesaurus, you bitch!
Then Link let out a loud tiger like cry
SG: AGAIN with the tigers. What’s with this Sue and tigers?
when I took his member fully into my mouth, engulfing it. Slowly I moved my lips up and down the shaft, dragging my tongue up the tender underside as I went. Little by little I begun to up the movement, causing Link to cry out in pure bliss as I caused waves of pure pleasure to go surging threw his body, the fire radiating to his lower organs.
SG: Link just had a burrito for lunch. The Sue was going to be in for a...fragrant surprise when he came. Also, what the hell kind of blowjob is this? What are you DOING? Where are your hands? What’s your tongue doing EXACTLY? Where the hell are the pre-ejaculate fluids? Goddamnit....
Then I found a rhythm
SG: And soon there would be a disco inferno.
and he started breathing faster as I started to take him over the edge. His heart started racing, his cries filled the room. And finally when I took his nut sack
SG: Suethor, we must talk about your constant switching between flowery, overdescriptive virginal language and clinical/modern/dirty words for the sex bits. CONSISTENCY, BITCH.
and caressed it with my hand, it was his undoing. Link let out a loud tiger like cry
SG: Okay, this is ridiculous. Do we need a tiger count as well?
as he reached his peak…"Oh…Goddesses JENNA!"….he cried releasing his essence into my mouth.
SG: Oh, and notice how Link doesn’t come to the extent that his man-gravy dribbles down her mouth. Geez, even in the bedroom, she comes harder and in more copious amounts xP
He fell back panting and I looked up and into his eyes as I swallowed, tasting the sweetness of him. Slowly I moved back to his lips and kissed him passionately, the taste of him still on my lips. Then I felt his hands embrace me as he gently rolled me over onto my stomach. Straddling my legs, I felt his member at the entrance of my pussy as he slowly slid his hard organ inside.
SG: WOAH WOAH WOAH. He just ejaculated! Meaning, he’s SOFT now. There will be no sexing to be had until he has a chance to cool off! Sorry, basic human biology. Sorry, realistic sex.
As he started to penetrate deeper, I felt him move forward as his mouth begun pressing down against my neck again. I felt my body beginning to convulse as his steady gentle thrusts caused me to cry out like a female tiger, ecstasy filling each note.
SG:....You know what? Every time the Sue says the word ‘tiger,’ I’m going to add one more weapon that I will use on her and this doppelganger when this is over. So...four now? Okay, good.
His mouth pressed harder against my neck as he gently bit on it, his tiger like groans being muffled against my skin.
SG: *adds knife on the table while smiling beatifically*
Then he thrust himself deeper into me, causing my body to shudder in pure bliss, my nails digging into the floor as my groans soon turned into loud cries of ecstasy. He continued to bite down on my neck and back in unison with his steady thrusts sending waves of eternal bliss to go surging threw my body, threw my every vein, as my loud tiger like cries tore into the air.
SG: *adds grenade to holster* Also: THROUGH!
I moved under him, teased him, causing him to bite down even more as he started pushing himself harder into me, his groans being filled with an angry tone. I cried out again as I bucked up against Link, my body shuddering in immense bliss, until an even more violent spasm raged it, causing me to scream out in mind boggling pleasure.
SG: Really? Mind-boggling? Cos I’m about to fall asleep here, I’m that hot and bothered with your disturbing tiger sex.
Then I felt myself being taken over the edge, his tiger like groans passing his lips each time he bit down, dominating me like a male tiger mating.
SG:....Wow. I think this is the first time she’s actually called them tigers. For that, I’m gonna add two Smash Balls to my arsenal: one for Link’s Final Smash and the other for Zelda’s.
I cried out to him, bucked up against his legs, forcing him in deeper as I felt myself starting to climax. He started to thrust harder into my body, as he bit down harder against the nape of my neck, his groans getting louder as he started to reach his peak. I pushed up against him as he thrust down hard again, our cries filled the air as I was finally thrust over the edge. With one last thrust, I bucked up against Link one last time as I climaxed, my cries filling the air as I gushed down his legs.
SG: And again, with the racehorse ejaculation. I’m betting Link is tidy like the whipped fucker he is, and all his semen gets inside her horrible vagina without a single drop missing.
Then Link was sent over the edge, he bucked his head back and cried out as he released his essence deep inside me.
SG: Called it.
I collapsed to the floor panting, my body shuddering violently as I trying to move under Link, but he bit back down on my neck again as his hands held tightly down onto my arms. Still connected, the immense sexual feelings still surged threw our bodies as the after effects of our orgasms tingled in our lower organs causing us to thrust for more. Fighting with what strength he had left, Link thrust himself down into me again, forcing himself to reach a second peak.
SG: O-O. SUETHOR. THERE IS A THING CALLED A MALE REFRACTORY PERIOD. MEANING, HIS DICK WILL HURT LIKE A BITCH. TO EVEN TOUCH IT WILL CAUSE HIM TO CRY OUT, IF NOT SCREAM LIKE A LITTLE GIRL. LEAVE. THE SEX. ALONE.
He started biting down on my neck and back again, grunting like a male tiger as he continued to thrust himself deeper inside my tired sweaty body, pushing to climax a second time.
SG: OKAY, BITCH, YOU JUST EARNED YOURSELF A GODDAMN FINAL FANTASY SUMMON. YOU’RE GONNA TASTE SOME GRAVINJA BOMB WHEN THIS IS OVER.
Feeling the strength leaving my body, I screamed, hissed, as I forced my trembling body up against his, desperately trying to reach a second peak.
SG: Again - WHY ARE YOU FORCING YOURSELF TO HAVE ANOTHER ORGASM? It can wait! DO something else for the next fifteen minutes! Wipe down your sticky vaginal secretions! Tend to your generic Stu spawn! Hell, BAKE A CAKE. THIS IS NOT GOOD.
He too fought for the strength, as he forced his exhausted body down onto mine, his mouth sinking down harder onto my neck causing a combination of pain and pleasure to go surging threw my every vein. I screamed into the air, my nails digging into the floor as I fought to go on.
SG: But why?! WHY?!
Pushing my exhausted body up against his, I forced him deeper as I felt myself slowly starting to climax again.
SG: Oh, I see. The bitch is so horny she just FORCED Link to satisfy her maw for the umpteenth time through their telesoulwhatsits connection. This is RAPE.
I cried out to Link, grunting like a female tiger to urge him on as I felt my body starting to be thrust over the edge yet again.
SG: *pulls in some favours with Cthulhu*
He returned my calls as tiger like sounds escaped passed his lips.
SG: *....ADDS SOME ACTUAL TIGERS TO THE MIX*
Then I felt him beginning to climax again, the fire in his lower organs sent raging shocks of pleasure threw his body, caused him cry out in immense bliss.
SG: Link had never taken a bigger dump in his life. It was glorious.
We thrust against each other, our bodies trembling and convulsing while crying like tigers mating as we came to a full climax and exploded together one last time.
SG: *takes Excalibur*
With one last gasp he collapsed on top of me, our bodies exhausted and dripping with sweat. He laid against my tired, shuddering body as he tried to catch his breath. We just laid there awhile shivering, trying to regain our strength, the after shocks of our orgasms still raged threw our hot sweaty bodies.
SG: Which you wouldn’t have done, if you had waited a few minutes to cool down. So no, you don’t get sympathy from me. You forced yourselves to have sex for no apparent reason. FUCK OFF.
Then I felt Link gently kiss and lick the light wounds he left on my back and neck as I heard him in my mind telling me how he enjoyed the experience we shared. "That was one of the best we had my love." He said to me in my mind. "It felt good, so good that I cannot wait until we do that again." "I love you so much, my sweet rose. "Link added with passion. "I love you too Link, I always will." I returned lovingly.
SG: And remember Link, she only forced you to satisfy her because she loves you.
Slowly we separated as I rolled over and laid next to him. I looked into his eyes as the glow of the fire reflected off of them, causing small flames to dance within them.
SG: When did Link become possessed by a demon?
"I want this to be a memorable night my love." He returned as a look of passion and desire shone in those magnificent eyes. "I'm not done showing you just how much you mean to me." "As soon as I regain my strength, I'm going to give you more of my love." Link said softly as he traced a finger over my lips.
SG: AGAIN?! AGAIN?! DO YOU TWO DO NOTHING ELSE BUT FUCK LIKE WEASELS? AND NO, MAKING MOONCALF EYES AT EACH OTHER DOES NOT COUNT.
Shocked with his sudden words, I leaned over and put my lips close to his. "You can do whatever you want to me my love, cause tonight, I'm yours for the taking." I whispered softly to him against his lips. Then Link grasped his hands around my face, pulling me close to him, locking my lips with his, blending a series of small passionate kisses, which soon turned into ones that were more deeper and forceful.
SG: Oh Mother of God, not again....
I felt his body beginning to relax as he slowly regained his strength, his breathing begun to even out and his heart slowed its beat. The after effects of our orgasms slowly started dissipating, leaving our bodies left with only the memory. Link gently pulled me against him and held me lovingly in his arms, his lips softly against my neck as the warmth of his body caused me to groan softly against his fine blonde hair. The feelings of our love making still pulsed threw my body, causing my lower organs to still cry for him in yearning. Feeling the pulses making my body wither in longing to feel him once more, I ran my hand down his cheek, causing his jeweled eyes to stare deeply into mine. "Mmmm….Link, are you ready for me again?" I cooed as I ran my hand seductively down his chest and over his soft member, causing him to become aroused once again.
SG: *weeps bitterly* Augh, you bitch, I’m gonna get you for this...
His lips met my neck in response as he placed soft kisses on it. Then he softly kissed his way down to my breasts, his mouth resting on one of my nipples as he started to gently suckle on it. Soft moans of pleasure passed my lips as he nibbled gently on my nipple causing it to become erect.
SG: I don’t know which was worse: that they’re doing it again or that this is almost a copy-pasted description of what happened EIGHT PAGES AGO.
Then I clasped my hands around his muscular arms and broke his attack on my breasts as I slowly begun to lay him down once more. Straddling him again, I slowly slid down on his now swollen member, taking it slowly inside me. I drew a sharp breath as I rested against his pelvis, and begun to grind against him in a slow rocking motion, causing Link to moan loudly in ecstasy. Slowly at first then I upped the movements, causing violent spasms to rage threw our bodies, the loudest vocalizations yet escaping past our lips.
SG: It is an exercise in futility to expect realistic sex descriptions from this person, isn’t it?
As I pushed down onto him, my body withered as shocks of wonderful pleasure were sent through my every vein,
SG: And then she dried out like a husk. THE END.
my body screaming in ecstasy as I felt the muscles inside me contracting and releasing against his organ. Then I bucked my head back and screamed into the air as yet another violent spasm raged threw my body, causing it to wither in immense bliss. "Oh.…..my Goddesses…..yes…..Link…YES!" I screamed again, as I felt my body explode in pleasure, my nails digging down into his arms.
SG: Y’know, I’ve actually lost count as to how many times they’ve climaxed. I know it’s possible and all, but it reads like they’ve only been fucking for the last twenty minutes or so.
Link too cried out in immense bliss as I begun moving faster, grinding against his pelvis, his body shuddering violently, his heart beating faster as his broad hands grasped firmly against my breasts, his fingers probing the nipples. I begun to feel Link's heart beating in unison with mine, his voice ringing loudly threw my mind, our souls connected. Our bodies withered together
SG: That word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
as I pumped faster, the sheer ecstasy raged threw my body, radiating toward the nucleus between my legs. Then I thrust him deeper into me as I felt myself starting to climax. My body screaming and shuddering violently, as though I was electrified in his arms, as I felt Link push up against me, feeling him starting to climax. I bucked my head back as my cries tore into the air….UNGH…Link…Oh Goddesses….LINK! I screamed as I reached my peak and gushed down Link's legs, the juices dripping down his side and onto the floor.
SG:....EW! And then, with her other lady-gravy just there...so they’re rolling around in all that crusty, smelly....EW!
JENNA!….Link screamed as he climaxed, releasing into me again. Gasping for air, I crashed down on top of him, my body still shuddering and dripping with sweat.
SG: *points* See? Comes in her every single time.
I just laid there, embraced in Link's sweaty arms, our bodies still feeling the after shocks of our orgasms. My fingertips traced over the broad curvatures of Link's face, his eyes sparkling with loving glances. Then I nestled my cheek against his, my lips pressing softly against the lobe of his pointed ear. Slowly I traced the outlines of his sexy ear with my lips and tongue, stopping every so often to gently nibble on the lobe. I listened to the soft moans that passed Link's lips as I sweetly nibbled on the tip of his pointed ear, weaving my tongue in and around the blue hoop earring he wore at the top. I felt Link's heart beginning to beat slowly, his thoughts running softly in my mind, the connection between us full.
Southern Gaelic: Holy shit. What the fuck was that? That was one of the most unrealistic, unsexy, creepy things I’ve ever read outside of Hogwarts Exposed. There is NOTHING here. Sex is supposed to be an expression of love, and all I saw were two tiger-people engaging in weasel-like fucking. That soul-bonding bullshit was just so the Suethor wouldn’t waste time on stupid things like, developing the relationship and fleshing out the characters more. Why, when there’s monkey-fucking to be had?!
Fitting really, that the last sex scene of this fic would also be the most revolting.
Now, I do believe I made a promise. Sue used ‘tiger’...fourteen times. That’s fourteen instances of physical PAIN I’m going to inflict on Jenna and DoppeLink.
OI! SUE!
*activates Link’s Final Smash*
I’ve got something for ya!
*rest of sporking concluded with the sounds of sporker going to town and the shrieks of the Sue and her studhorse*
---
ZeldaQueen: Let us thank Souther Gaelic for her crowning moment of awesome there. *offers large chocolate cake*
Also, to update - PDORD Count = 78. This is getting mighty impressive
And now, back to what is left of this abysmal chapter.
I just laid there, embraced in Link's sweaty arms, our bodies still feeling the after shocks of our orgasms.
ZeldaQueen: Maybe if you took a break once in awhile, you wouldn't be so freaking worn out!
My fingertips traced over the broad curvatures of Link's face, his eyes sparkling with loving glances.
ZeldaQueen: Oh will you shut up?
Then I nestled my cheek against his, my lips pressing softly against the lobe of his pointed ear. Slowly I traced the outlines of his sexy ear with my lips and tongue, stopping every so often to gently nibble on the lobe.
ZeldaQueen: Do you have some sort of ear fetish? Because I'd hardly call Links ears sexy. PDORD Count = 80
I listened to the soft moans that passed Link's lips as I sweetly nibbled on the tip of his pointed ear, weaving my tongue in and around the blue hoop earring he wore at the top.
ZeldaQueen: (Link) "OW! Stop that, I'm in unbelievable pain here! Please!"
I felt Link's heart beginning to beat slowly, his thoughts running softly in my mind, the connection between us full.
ZeldaQueen: Jesus, this really does sound like she's got him enslaved! True Love my anus!
Then I felt my eyes slowly beginning to drift, and I nestled my head against the silky skin of Link's chest, his arms holding me in a protective embrace, as I softly drifted off to sleep.
ZeldaQueen: (Sue) "I feasted well that night"
This was one night I as
ZeldaQueen: WAS!
not going to forget. Link surly made this a memorable night, one that appeared in my dreams more then once.
ZeldaQueen: Hey, you were the one who kept forcing the sex
Even during the times when we were separated, too far for us to communicate telepathically, I often dreamed of that night, the night where we expressed our deepest love for each other, from the special bond we share. A bond that cannot be broken.
ZeldaQueen: You've obviously never heard of a chainsaw. *revs up* Start running
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ZeldaQueen: The good news is that this is pretty much it for the smut. The bad news is that this is also pretty much it for canon (what little there was before at least). Strap in
Onward to: Chapter 17: A New Friend (Part 1)
Back to: Chapter 15: A Newfound Power
Return to: Table of Content
Slowly he lowered his head down again,
SG: Yes, one would assume that his head went down, because he LOWERED it. I do believe that’s one PRORD point.
his breath tickled my skin as he gently nibbled on my neck causing ripples of pleasure to run down my spine. I reached up and ran my hand down his cheek as small moans of pleasure escaped passed my lips.
SG: PAST your lips!
Then I felt his lips move slowly up my neck, then to my mouth as he kissed me forcefully, his tongue slipping past my lips. As out tongues
SG: Your what now? It reads like their tongues are coming out of the closet.
entwined I felt his hands trickling up my sides as he started sliding down the straps of my dress. My body started quivering under his gentle touch as he slid the top of my dress down freeing my breasts. He took his hand and gently ran it over my breast, his fingers teasing the nipple, causing it to become erect, turning it into a small hard pebble.
SG: Good GOD. TWO PRORD points for that last sentence, Suethor. Also, is it just me or is everyone else imagining Flintstone-esque nipples? No. Okay....
The sensation of his fingers caressing my sensitive nipples sent shocks of pleasure threw my body, causing louder moans to pass my lips.
SG: *uses loudspeaker*: THROUGH, YOU STUPID MORON.
Gently he pushed me into the living room, by the fire as he continued to pulled pull my dress slowly down my body, then letting it drop to the floor as his eyes hungrily drank in my nakedness. Then he laid me down, getting on top of me as his lips moved back to mine, his tongue entering my mouth again. I let my hands run up under his tunic, feeling my way to the top as I gently pulled it off and tossed it aside.
SG: Is this supposed to be sexy or boring? Cos quite frankly, I’m eyeing my sock drawer and getting the urge to organize it...
Then Link begun to slowly kiss his way down my body, first to my neck, to crevice between my breasts, then stopping at the navel as he kissed and caressed it with his tongue. Link continued to assault my body with his lips and tongue,
SG: The imagery is disturbing. Also, again the Suethor shows her ignorance about sex in general. Only his lips and tongue? What are his hands doing, pray tell?
causing my body to shudder with feelings of pleasure and ecstasy as I reached up and slipped off his white undergarment, exposing the rest of his heavenly naked body. The candlelight reflected off his immaculate skin,
SG:....He’d better not be a Sparkly White is Right Mormon Vampire.
as I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him down on top of me, forcing our lips to meet again. As we kissed deeply, passionately, our tongues intertwining once again, I had begun to feel his heart beating along side mine as the connection between us became full.
SG: ....Oh God, this is soul-bonding sex. Now we’re going to have to hear about how they’re one in spirit and body and mind and BLERUGH.
Then we drew apart and he slowly rose up, taking one hand and gently running it over my breasts again, his fingertips teasing the hard mounds
SG: Your TITS are hard? Er...you might want to go to a doctor for that. Or not, then you can die sooner :D
as the other slid its way down my body, first to my thighs, then between my legs.
SG: *headdesk* And ONCE AGAIN, Link skips all the good stuff and goes straight for the honeypot. Suethor, however lovely you found him biting your tits and all, I must stress that YOU DON’T JUST DIVE FOR A GIRL’S BITS AFTER HEAVY PETTING.
Then his hand pressed down into me as his fingers slid past the lips of my flower, causing my back to arc as a loud moan moved out my mouth and tore into the air. Then I cried out in ecstasy again as his fingers probed upward and brushed against my clitoris, causing it to fill with blood and become hard.
SG: O-O....OW. Jesus Christ, LINK! He must have had a dentist’s drill installed at the end of his fingers for THAT to happen :x
It felt soo good. Felt soo intense.
SG: *SHRIEK* I HATE that spelling error!
My whole body convulsed, shuddered as he teased the clit by rolling the hard sensitive part between his fingers.
SG: *nastily* Of COURSE it’s sensitive. You made it BLEED.
Then my body suddenly convulsed when he slid his fingers further down and gently pushed two fingers deep inside me, the new sensation causing my back to arc again as my soft moans suddenly turned into loud tiger cries.
SG:....Tiger cries? Like, she just growled like a tiger? Are we SURE she’s not a cat person?
"Oh....my Goddesses….grrrr....Link..more baby.....LINK!"
SG: PORN SPEAK! Bow-chicka-bow-wow...
I screamed in pure ecstasy as his gentle steady made my legs quake.
SG: Question! If he’s just ‘gently’ prodding her crab-infested vagina, why is she spasming so? Maybe if it had been going on for a long time, or she’s mentioned that the slow tortured movements are what’s making her crazy-mad, but...no.
Then he pushed his fingers in deeper, his thrusts reaching back to my G spot
SG: *wallops the Sue* NO MODERN TERMINOLOGIES IN THIS FANDOM!
while his other hand teased the hard mounds on my breasts.
SG: Oh, so your BOOBS aren’t hard! It’s the cancerous tumours growing on them
Then Link quickened his attacks as he sensed that my body was starting to be thrust over the edge. This combination of attacks Link was placing upon my shuddering, pulsating body caused my back arc and twisted,
SG: - clean off. The Sue died instantly. There was much rejoicing.
while my cries of ecstasy tore into the air. Slowly I started to climax and when he rubbed his fingers against the most sensitive spot inside me,
SG: Her small intestine.
I screamed out as my body was finally thrust over the edge and into heaven ….."UNGH…OH MY GODDESSES…..LINK!" I cried as I gushed down Link's hand, the warm juices dripping threw his fingers.
SG: Man, she’s....messy. *wrinkles nose*
Falling back panting I looked into his sexy blue eyes as I saw a burning desire glowing in them.
SG: Well, yes. Since you’re such an egotistical bitch that I can count on ONE HAND the times you thought it nice to bring him off first.
Then I got up and put my lips near his, whispering softly to him against them. "Now my love, it my turn." I said seductively as I reached up and clasped my hands on his broad shoulders and gently pushed him onto the floor. After I pushed him down on the floor,
SG: I do believe that’s another PRORD point.
I straddled him, laying my hands against his chest as I begun to slowly trickle my fingers-tips over his hard muscular body. His body quivered under my touch as soft moans rose up from his throat and out his mouth.
I let my soft hands trace over the muscular outlines of his infatuated body, feeling the silkiness of his immaculate skin. Quietly I watched as his eternal blue eyes pierced me, silently eating my body with a hungry desire. I continued running my hands softly, caressingly over his hard body, causing him to moan softly, his muscles contracting and releasing under my touch.
SG: Where exactly is she touching? Seriously, they’re so deeply in love, right? So Sue, what are Link’s erogenous zones? Where are his happy places? From the description up there, it was like she just hovered her hands over his body and went “I’m not touching you!!!”
Then I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his neck, letting my tongue trace over his skin, tasting him. I wanted nothing more than to taste every bit of flesh before me, to swallow its taste and savor its delicious feeling.
SG: o-o...Methinks the Sue might be some sort of vampire.
Pressing my lips down harder, I bit softly against his wonderful skin, as I started to suckle on his neck, causing Link to groan out loud.
SG: GAH! I was kidding!!
After a little bit of teasing, I slowly kissed my way down his body, my tongue tracing behind my lips as I made my way down to the swollen organ between his legs.
SG: What’s with all these cancerous organs going on in here?
Slowly I took the head of his member into my mouth, teasing the tender tip with my tongue. Then slowly I moved to his shaft, caressing it with my tongue as I slowly licked up and down it.
SG: So far, so boring.
While I caressed his member with my lips and tongue, Link's soft moans soon turned into loud cries of pleasure and ecstasy. I felt his body quivering under my gentle hands as I ran one up over his body, his loud cries of ecstasy filling the room.
SG: Jesus Christ, use a thesaurus, you bitch!
Then Link let out a loud tiger like cry
SG: AGAIN with the tigers. What’s with this Sue and tigers?
when I took his member fully into my mouth, engulfing it. Slowly I moved my lips up and down the shaft, dragging my tongue up the tender underside as I went. Little by little I begun to up the movement, causing Link to cry out in pure bliss as I caused waves of pure pleasure to go surging threw his body, the fire radiating to his lower organs.
SG: Link just had a burrito for lunch. The Sue was going to be in for a...fragrant surprise when he came. Also, what the hell kind of blowjob is this? What are you DOING? Where are your hands? What’s your tongue doing EXACTLY? Where the hell are the pre-ejaculate fluids? Goddamnit....
Then I found a rhythm
SG: And soon there would be a disco inferno.
and he started breathing faster as I started to take him over the edge. His heart started racing, his cries filled the room. And finally when I took his nut sack
SG: Suethor, we must talk about your constant switching between flowery, overdescriptive virginal language and clinical/modern/dirty words for the sex bits. CONSISTENCY, BITCH.
and caressed it with my hand, it was his undoing. Link let out a loud tiger like cry
SG: Okay, this is ridiculous. Do we need a tiger count as well?
as he reached his peak…"Oh…Goddesses JENNA!"….he cried releasing his essence into my mouth.
SG: Oh, and notice how Link doesn’t come to the extent that his man-gravy dribbles down her mouth. Geez, even in the bedroom, she comes harder and in more copious amounts xP
He fell back panting and I looked up and into his eyes as I swallowed, tasting the sweetness of him. Slowly I moved back to his lips and kissed him passionately, the taste of him still on my lips. Then I felt his hands embrace me as he gently rolled me over onto my stomach. Straddling my legs, I felt his member at the entrance of my pussy as he slowly slid his hard organ inside.
SG: WOAH WOAH WOAH. He just ejaculated! Meaning, he’s SOFT now. There will be no sexing to be had until he has a chance to cool off! Sorry, basic human biology. Sorry, realistic sex.
As he started to penetrate deeper, I felt him move forward as his mouth begun pressing down against my neck again. I felt my body beginning to convulse as his steady gentle thrusts caused me to cry out like a female tiger, ecstasy filling each note.
SG:....You know what? Every time the Sue says the word ‘tiger,’ I’m going to add one more weapon that I will use on her and this doppelganger when this is over. So...four now? Okay, good.
His mouth pressed harder against my neck as he gently bit on it, his tiger like groans being muffled against my skin.
SG: *adds knife on the table while smiling beatifically*
Then he thrust himself deeper into me, causing my body to shudder in pure bliss, my nails digging into the floor as my groans soon turned into loud cries of ecstasy. He continued to bite down on my neck and back in unison with his steady thrusts sending waves of eternal bliss to go surging threw my body, threw my every vein, as my loud tiger like cries tore into the air.
SG: *adds grenade to holster* Also: THROUGH!
I moved under him, teased him, causing him to bite down even more as he started pushing himself harder into me, his groans being filled with an angry tone. I cried out again as I bucked up against Link, my body shuddering in immense bliss, until an even more violent spasm raged it, causing me to scream out in mind boggling pleasure.
SG: Really? Mind-boggling? Cos I’m about to fall asleep here, I’m that hot and bothered with your disturbing tiger sex.
Then I felt myself being taken over the edge, his tiger like groans passing his lips each time he bit down, dominating me like a male tiger mating.
SG:....Wow. I think this is the first time she’s actually called them tigers. For that, I’m gonna add two Smash Balls to my arsenal: one for Link’s Final Smash and the other for Zelda’s.
I cried out to him, bucked up against his legs, forcing him in deeper as I felt myself starting to climax. He started to thrust harder into my body, as he bit down harder against the nape of my neck, his groans getting louder as he started to reach his peak. I pushed up against him as he thrust down hard again, our cries filled the air as I was finally thrust over the edge. With one last thrust, I bucked up against Link one last time as I climaxed, my cries filling the air as I gushed down his legs.
SG: And again, with the racehorse ejaculation. I’m betting Link is tidy like the whipped fucker he is, and all his semen gets inside her horrible vagina without a single drop missing.
Then Link was sent over the edge, he bucked his head back and cried out as he released his essence deep inside me.
SG: Called it.
I collapsed to the floor panting, my body shuddering violently as I trying to move under Link, but he bit back down on my neck again as his hands held tightly down onto my arms. Still connected, the immense sexual feelings still surged threw our bodies as the after effects of our orgasms tingled in our lower organs causing us to thrust for more. Fighting with what strength he had left, Link thrust himself down into me again, forcing himself to reach a second peak.
SG: O-O. SUETHOR. THERE IS A THING CALLED A MALE REFRACTORY PERIOD. MEANING, HIS DICK WILL HURT LIKE A BITCH. TO EVEN TOUCH IT WILL CAUSE HIM TO CRY OUT, IF NOT SCREAM LIKE A LITTLE GIRL. LEAVE. THE SEX. ALONE.
He started biting down on my neck and back again, grunting like a male tiger as he continued to thrust himself deeper inside my tired sweaty body, pushing to climax a second time.
SG: OKAY, BITCH, YOU JUST EARNED YOURSELF A GODDAMN FINAL FANTASY SUMMON. YOU’RE GONNA TASTE SOME GRAVINJA BOMB WHEN THIS IS OVER.
Feeling the strength leaving my body, I screamed, hissed, as I forced my trembling body up against his, desperately trying to reach a second peak.
SG: Again - WHY ARE YOU FORCING YOURSELF TO HAVE ANOTHER ORGASM? It can wait! DO something else for the next fifteen minutes! Wipe down your sticky vaginal secretions! Tend to your generic Stu spawn! Hell, BAKE A CAKE. THIS IS NOT GOOD.
He too fought for the strength, as he forced his exhausted body down onto mine, his mouth sinking down harder onto my neck causing a combination of pain and pleasure to go surging threw my every vein. I screamed into the air, my nails digging into the floor as I fought to go on.
SG: But why?! WHY?!
Pushing my exhausted body up against his, I forced him deeper as I felt myself slowly starting to climax again.
SG: Oh, I see. The bitch is so horny she just FORCED Link to satisfy her maw for the umpteenth time through their telesoulwhatsits connection. This is RAPE.
I cried out to Link, grunting like a female tiger to urge him on as I felt my body starting to be thrust over the edge yet again.
SG: *pulls in some favours with Cthulhu*
He returned my calls as tiger like sounds escaped passed his lips.
SG: *....ADDS SOME ACTUAL TIGERS TO THE MIX*
Then I felt him beginning to climax again, the fire in his lower organs sent raging shocks of pleasure threw his body, caused him cry out in immense bliss.
SG: Link had never taken a bigger dump in his life. It was glorious.
We thrust against each other, our bodies trembling and convulsing while crying like tigers mating as we came to a full climax and exploded together one last time.
SG: *takes Excalibur*
With one last gasp he collapsed on top of me, our bodies exhausted and dripping with sweat. He laid against my tired, shuddering body as he tried to catch his breath. We just laid there awhile shivering, trying to regain our strength, the after shocks of our orgasms still raged threw our hot sweaty bodies.
SG: Which you wouldn’t have done, if you had waited a few minutes to cool down. So no, you don’t get sympathy from me. You forced yourselves to have sex for no apparent reason. FUCK OFF.
Then I felt Link gently kiss and lick the light wounds he left on my back and neck as I heard him in my mind telling me how he enjoyed the experience we shared. "That was one of the best we had my love." He said to me in my mind. "It felt good, so good that I cannot wait until we do that again." "I love you so much, my sweet rose. "Link added with passion. "I love you too Link, I always will." I returned lovingly.
SG: And remember Link, she only forced you to satisfy her because she loves you.
Slowly we separated as I rolled over and laid next to him. I looked into his eyes as the glow of the fire reflected off of them, causing small flames to dance within them.
SG: When did Link become possessed by a demon?
"I want this to be a memorable night my love." He returned as a look of passion and desire shone in those magnificent eyes. "I'm not done showing you just how much you mean to me." "As soon as I regain my strength, I'm going to give you more of my love." Link said softly as he traced a finger over my lips.
SG: AGAIN?! AGAIN?! DO YOU TWO DO NOTHING ELSE BUT FUCK LIKE WEASELS? AND NO, MAKING MOONCALF EYES AT EACH OTHER DOES NOT COUNT.
Shocked with his sudden words, I leaned over and put my lips close to his. "You can do whatever you want to me my love, cause tonight, I'm yours for the taking." I whispered softly to him against his lips. Then Link grasped his hands around my face, pulling me close to him, locking my lips with his, blending a series of small passionate kisses, which soon turned into ones that were more deeper and forceful.
SG: Oh Mother of God, not again....
I felt his body beginning to relax as he slowly regained his strength, his breathing begun to even out and his heart slowed its beat. The after effects of our orgasms slowly started dissipating, leaving our bodies left with only the memory. Link gently pulled me against him and held me lovingly in his arms, his lips softly against my neck as the warmth of his body caused me to groan softly against his fine blonde hair. The feelings of our love making still pulsed threw my body, causing my lower organs to still cry for him in yearning. Feeling the pulses making my body wither in longing to feel him once more, I ran my hand down his cheek, causing his jeweled eyes to stare deeply into mine. "Mmmm….Link, are you ready for me again?" I cooed as I ran my hand seductively down his chest and over his soft member, causing him to become aroused once again.
SG: *weeps bitterly* Augh, you bitch, I’m gonna get you for this...
His lips met my neck in response as he placed soft kisses on it. Then he softly kissed his way down to my breasts, his mouth resting on one of my nipples as he started to gently suckle on it. Soft moans of pleasure passed my lips as he nibbled gently on my nipple causing it to become erect.
SG: I don’t know which was worse: that they’re doing it again or that this is almost a copy-pasted description of what happened EIGHT PAGES AGO.
Then I clasped my hands around his muscular arms and broke his attack on my breasts as I slowly begun to lay him down once more. Straddling him again, I slowly slid down on his now swollen member, taking it slowly inside me. I drew a sharp breath as I rested against his pelvis, and begun to grind against him in a slow rocking motion, causing Link to moan loudly in ecstasy. Slowly at first then I upped the movements, causing violent spasms to rage threw our bodies, the loudest vocalizations yet escaping past our lips.
SG: It is an exercise in futility to expect realistic sex descriptions from this person, isn’t it?
As I pushed down onto him, my body withered as shocks of wonderful pleasure were sent through my every vein,
SG: And then she dried out like a husk. THE END.
my body screaming in ecstasy as I felt the muscles inside me contracting and releasing against his organ. Then I bucked my head back and screamed into the air as yet another violent spasm raged threw my body, causing it to wither in immense bliss. "Oh.…..my Goddesses…..yes…..Link…YES!" I screamed again, as I felt my body explode in pleasure, my nails digging down into his arms.
SG: Y’know, I’ve actually lost count as to how many times they’ve climaxed. I know it’s possible and all, but it reads like they’ve only been fucking for the last twenty minutes or so.
Link too cried out in immense bliss as I begun moving faster, grinding against his pelvis, his body shuddering violently, his heart beating faster as his broad hands grasped firmly against my breasts, his fingers probing the nipples. I begun to feel Link's heart beating in unison with mine, his voice ringing loudly threw my mind, our souls connected. Our bodies withered together
SG: That word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
as I pumped faster, the sheer ecstasy raged threw my body, radiating toward the nucleus between my legs. Then I thrust him deeper into me as I felt myself starting to climax. My body screaming and shuddering violently, as though I was electrified in his arms, as I felt Link push up against me, feeling him starting to climax. I bucked my head back as my cries tore into the air….UNGH…Link…Oh Goddesses….LINK! I screamed as I reached my peak and gushed down Link's legs, the juices dripping down his side and onto the floor.
SG:....EW! And then, with her other lady-gravy just there...so they’re rolling around in all that crusty, smelly....EW!
JENNA!….Link screamed as he climaxed, releasing into me again. Gasping for air, I crashed down on top of him, my body still shuddering and dripping with sweat.
SG: *points* See? Comes in her every single time.
I just laid there, embraced in Link's sweaty arms, our bodies still feeling the after shocks of our orgasms. My fingertips traced over the broad curvatures of Link's face, his eyes sparkling with loving glances. Then I nestled my cheek against his, my lips pressing softly against the lobe of his pointed ear. Slowly I traced the outlines of his sexy ear with my lips and tongue, stopping every so often to gently nibble on the lobe. I listened to the soft moans that passed Link's lips as I sweetly nibbled on the tip of his pointed ear, weaving my tongue in and around the blue hoop earring he wore at the top. I felt Link's heart beginning to beat slowly, his thoughts running softly in my mind, the connection between us full.
Southern Gaelic: Holy shit. What the fuck was that? That was one of the most unrealistic, unsexy, creepy things I’ve ever read outside of Hogwarts Exposed. There is NOTHING here. Sex is supposed to be an expression of love, and all I saw were two tiger-people engaging in weasel-like fucking. That soul-bonding bullshit was just so the Suethor wouldn’t waste time on stupid things like, developing the relationship and fleshing out the characters more. Why, when there’s monkey-fucking to be had?!
Fitting really, that the last sex scene of this fic would also be the most revolting.
Now, I do believe I made a promise. Sue used ‘tiger’...fourteen times. That’s fourteen instances of physical PAIN I’m going to inflict on Jenna and DoppeLink.
OI! SUE!
*activates Link’s Final Smash*
I’ve got something for ya!
*rest of sporking concluded with the sounds of sporker going to town and the shrieks of the Sue and her studhorse*
---
ZeldaQueen: Let us thank Souther Gaelic for her crowning moment of awesome there. *offers large chocolate cake*
Also, to update - PDORD Count = 78. This is getting mighty impressive
And now, back to what is left of this abysmal chapter.
I just laid there, embraced in Link's sweaty arms, our bodies still feeling the after shocks of our orgasms.
ZeldaQueen: Maybe if you took a break once in awhile, you wouldn't be so freaking worn out!
My fingertips traced over the broad curvatures of Link's face, his eyes sparkling with loving glances.
ZeldaQueen: Oh will you shut up?
Then I nestled my cheek against his, my lips pressing softly against the lobe of his pointed ear. Slowly I traced the outlines of his sexy ear with my lips and tongue, stopping every so often to gently nibble on the lobe.
ZeldaQueen: Do you have some sort of ear fetish? Because I'd hardly call Links ears sexy. PDORD Count = 80
I listened to the soft moans that passed Link's lips as I sweetly nibbled on the tip of his pointed ear, weaving my tongue in and around the blue hoop earring he wore at the top.
ZeldaQueen: (Link) "OW! Stop that, I'm in unbelievable pain here! Please!"
I felt Link's heart beginning to beat slowly, his thoughts running softly in my mind, the connection between us full.
ZeldaQueen: Jesus, this really does sound like she's got him enslaved! True Love my anus!
Then I felt my eyes slowly beginning to drift, and I nestled my head against the silky skin of Link's chest, his arms holding me in a protective embrace, as I softly drifted off to sleep.
ZeldaQueen: (Sue) "I feasted well that night"
This was one night I as
ZeldaQueen: WAS!
not going to forget. Link surly made this a memorable night, one that appeared in my dreams more then once.
ZeldaQueen: Hey, you were the one who kept forcing the sex
Even during the times when we were separated, too far for us to communicate telepathically, I often dreamed of that night, the night where we expressed our deepest love for each other, from the special bond we share. A bond that cannot be broken.
ZeldaQueen: You've obviously never heard of a chainsaw. *revs up* Start running
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ZeldaQueen: The good news is that this is pretty much it for the smut. The bad news is that this is also pretty much it for canon (what little there was before at least). Strap in
Onward to: Chapter 17: A New Friend (Part 1)
Back to: Chapter 15: A Newfound Power
Return to: Table of Content