My Inner Life: Chapter 13 - The Encounter
Projection Room Voices: Good news!
ZeldaQueen: Woot! I'm back! My word, those brownies work wonders...
Link: Fantastic! Let's get rid of these dipsticks then, and get going
Midna: Oh no, not so fast!
Ganondorf: I do wish to see how this turns out, if only to tell Vaati and Zant later
ZeldaQueen: M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. rules clearly state that any sporkers can join in if they want
Link: Fine! But know this, Ganondorf - if you even hint to anyone else about what goes on in this chapter, I swear I won't rest until I've dug up the worst fanfiction about you and have everyone spork it
Ganondorf: *goes pale* You wouldn't dare
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 13: The Encounter
The Encounter
ZeldaQueen: Of a close kind
Grabbling
Midna: That sounds faintly dirty
my bow and my (9)Phoenix circles and Link equipped with the Master Sword, I kissed little Link, said a few words to Ruto then Link and I headed for Lake Hylia and the Water Temple.
All: *stare*
Link: Wow. I really think she topped herself with that one
ZeldaQueen: Yep. Let's see, bad sentence structure, run on, and a god-awful footnote which goes as such - "(9) The Phoenix Circles are one form of a Charkam. A Charkam is a round weapon kind of like a sword only in the form of a circle (exe Zena Warrior Princess's weapon). The Charkam has a blade curvature in the shape of a crescent moon with a round hilt on one side. The Phoenix Circles in this story, its blade is lined with all different kinds of valuable gems and the symbol of the Phoenix." In other words, they look like this
ZeldaQueen: It's also spelled "Chakram", not "Charkam"
Link: So wait, where the fuck did those things come from? She never mentioned having them at all! And "valuable gems"? How did she even afford them? How did she learn to use them? Were they gifts from Zelda? What?
Ganondorf: Hm, I knew not that there were Phoenix in the land of Hyrule
Midna: Zena in a Zelda fanfiction. My my...
We went to the stable to grab our horses,
All: END SENTENCE!
since Epona was carrying, I saddled Star Dancer and Link saddled Midnight Star.
Link: Oh, that's nice! Just butt my horse out of action, why don't you?
ZeldaQueen: You know, this sort of strikes me as more of this stupid anti-feminism stuff. "Oh look! The canon female horse who served Link faithfully throughout the whole game is pregnant and can't be used! How convenient!"
Link: It's really creepy how she keeps separating me from my canon female acquaintances
Midna: Watch out for your rabbit if you ever break up with her, Link
Mounting our horses, we left the sanctuary of our house, and made our way through the blinding snow. The storm had kicked up again. It was very cold and the snow knee deep.
Ganondorf: Will you shut up about the snow and cold!
Midna: *yawning* Typical Sue, even the weather is exceptional for her to marvel over
ZeldaQueen: Well, I know she did a lot of repetition when I was zonked and I need to catch up, so I'll just give her ten bumps for good measure. PDORD Count = 50
The wind whipped our cloaks around as we pushed onward. Visibility was next to nothing, I could barely see Link in front of me. "Jenna are you ok?!" Link yelled over the howling wind. "So far I'm ok, but I can barely see anything in front of me!" I yelled back. "Just follow the sound of my voice my love, I will help guide you!" Listing to Link's voice, I was able to follow him. We kept a steady pace, pushing through the deep wet snow. I wrapped my now damp cloak around me trying to stay warm.
Link: Yadda, yadda, yadda, boring stuff
ZeldaQueen: Seriously Suethor, figure out what the audience wants to read about! I can assure you, the battle with Dark Link is infinitely preferable to them going through a storm
After some time we finally came to the fences leading to Lake Hylia.
Ganondorf: My, that was fast
By this time the storm had died down some so visibility was much better. Link made Midnight Star come to a complete stop, causing snow to kick up behind the stallion's powerful hooves. Pulling back on the reins Star Dancer came to a complete stop just a few feet behind Link. "Why did we stop?" I questioned. "We need to jump these fences, but with the snow as deep as it is I know that Midnight Star can make the jump but, do you think your mare can handle the jump?" Looking down at my mare, I patted her on the head and stroked her mane. "I have full confidence in her Link, she can make the jump." "Then lets go!" Link yelled.
ZeldaQueen: Yes Jenna, Link's big, strong, male horse can obviously make the jump, but can your punny, weak, female horse do so? AUGH!
Midna: This is completely pointless.
Link: More than you even know! There are ladders around the fences! They could just climb over them!
ZeldaQueen: *sigh* Jump, jump, jump! PDORD Count = 52
Backing up his horse, Link prepared for the jump. When he had enough distance, he booted the horse in the legs
Link: You boot a horse in the ribs, not the legs! C'mon now, I ought to know better!
and ran towards the fences guarding the lake. With a kicking up of snow, the black stallion flew gracefully over the fences, leaving a trail of mist behind him. Bringing the horse to a stop on the other side of the fences he looked at me. "Now you make the jump."
All: GET ON WITH IT!
Nodding, I backed up my mare and prepared for the jump. When I had enough distance between the fences and I, I booted my horse in the legs
Link: RIBS!
and bolted towards the fences. Just before I reached the fences, a cloud of snow kicked up behind my horse's powerful hooves as she made the rough jump over the fences. Link then took off in front of me and called for me to follow. I watched as the lake slowly became visible.
Midna: Well, I'm glad that they devoted... *counts* two or so paragraphs to leaping a fence
Ganondorf: Indeed, for the story is that much more enriched by it
When we reached the bank of Lake Hylia, we were shocked at what we saw. Pulling our horses to a complete stop I exchanged glances with Link. "The lake is frozen over!
ZeldaQueen: Much like Hell
How are we supposed to get inside now?" I said as we dismounted.
All: USE A DIFFERENT WORD!
Pulling out his bow, Link nocked an arrow of fire and shot it at the lake. Steam rose up as the fire melted the ice beneath its fiery rage.
ZeldaQueen: Think you could mention fire any more there? PDORD Count = 53
"Well well, Link your full of surprises." I said with envoy.
Midna: His full of surprises what?
Link: Must have something to do with the Sue's envoy
Link smiled, then nocked a few more arrows and shot them one by one into the ice, creating a hole in the ice. "Now we can get inside." Link inquired. "Wait a second Link, isn't the door to the Temple under the water?" Link nodded. "How do you suppose we are going to get in there?"
Link: "We" aren't. I'm going to tie you to a rock and drop your butt into the lake to drown. Hopefully your pretty little corpse will scare Dark Link into never leaving the temple ever
Walking back over to his horse, Link reached into his saddlebags and pulled something out of it. Turning back to me he threw a blue looking tunic at me. "Put that on."
Ganondorf: Ah, it is "blue looking"? Does that suggest that it is not actually blue, an imitation?
Link: No, I think she just was trying to sound deep
"That's the Zora tunic, it allows its wearer to breath under the water." I looked down at the tunic in my hands, wondering if it would really work.
Link: Look bitch, I've been from one end of Hyrule to the other and used all of my items long enough to have plenty of experience. If I say something will work, then it fucking well will!
"Are you sure its going to fit me?"
ZeldaQueen: Jenna, the Zoras are far skinnier than Link and he still fits into the tunics. I doubt it'd be an issue. Or are your hooters really that big?
Looking back at me his eyes seemed to glow.
All: SHUT UP ABOUT THE EYES!
"Don't worry my love it will." Looking back down at it one more time, I took it and slipped it on over my dress.
Midna: Fighting in a dress. How practical
Then I walked over to Link just as he finished putting his on.
Link: Why would I have two of those things at once? I could only just manage one of everything
"Now the entrance is at the bottom. The only way to get down there is with the Iron Boots."
ZeldaQueen: So Link has the Fire Arrows, the Zora Tunic, the Iron Boots, and the Master Sword. This all implies that he still has all of his weapons from the game. Keep this in mind for later, dear viewers
"Iron what?" I asked with curiosity in my voice.
Ganondorf: They are called the Iron Boots! What do you think they are, you idiot?
"The Iron Boots are boots made of Iron to help the wearer to be heavy enough to walk on lake bottoms.
ZeldaQueen: You don't say?
ZeldaQueen: CAPTAIN OBVIOUS, to the rescue! Oh and PDORD Counter = 54
"Oh that's amazing, you never cease to surprise me Link my love." I said with a little giggle.
Midna: Is she retarded?
ZeldaQueen: Well, she's not the crunchiest chip in the bag...
Link: Okay, they're sneaking into an underwater temple with a dark monster they were pissing their pants over before. Now my fictional self is holding a questions and answers session while the Sue giggles about how great said counterpart is. What?
"Now since there is only one pair, you'll have to hang onto me or you will just float back to the surface." Nodding, I watched as Link equipped the Iron Boots.
ZeldaQueen: (Sue) "More excuses to cling! Hooray!"
When he was ready, I grabbed onto his arm as we made our way into the lake. The boots made a loud clopping sound as we descended to the lake's bottom. Walking on the bottom of the lake made me feel a little uneasy, but I had confidence in my husband's abilities. When we reached the Temple's gate, I looked up at the blood red jewel sitting above the entrance. A slight shiver went down my spine as I stared at the ghoulish looking thing. Hugging onto Link, we descended into the Temple. As we walked further into the eerie Temple, a wash of uneasiness ran over me.
Link: Blah, blah, blah, vaguely creepy stuff which is nowhere near the worst I've fought, get on with it!
"Where do we go from here?" I said as I held onto Link tightly.
All: STOP CLINGING!
"I'm not sure, but my best guess is that we should head for that strange room."
Ganondorf: HA! That's specific!
Link: Right. We're in an underwater temple with three floors that have countless and mostly-flooded chambers, pools, traps, and tunnels. Let's go for "that strange room"!
As we descended deeper into the Water Temple, I started to feel as if someone was watching us. "Link do you feel as if we are being watched?"
ZeldaQueen: PDORD Count = 55
"Yeah I feel it, I also feel a presence as well. He's here I can feel it."
ZeldaQueen: GOD DAMN IT! PDORD Count = 56
Feeling my cat like instincts kick in,
ZeldaQueen: Wait, what?!?
Link: Where the fuck did those come from?
Midna: Probably the same place she got those Phoenix Circle things from
I raised my head up and sniffed the air.
Midna: Wow, she really is part cat!
ZeldaQueen: It's a were-Jenna! Run for your life!
"You're right, I smell something fowl.
All: *stare and then burst out laughing*
Ganondorf: She really is part cat! Who knew?
ZeldaQueen: That explains the tiger sex before!
He's close." I said lowering my head.
ZeldaQueen: I like to think that her neck can extend like a car jack
"Closer then you think." A sneering voice called from within the Temple.
Link: What? Where are they? The temple is huge! Doors? Tunnels? What?
I jumped at the sound of the eerie voice echoing threw the corridors. "Come out and show yourself, I know you're here!" Link yelled as he unfastened his sword in its sheath.
Link: Oh come on! There is no way in Hell that I react like that!
"Ha ha so…the "Hero of Time" has returned to challenge me." The sneering voice called again.
ZeldaQueen: You know, I can almost accept the quotes around "Hero of Time" there. At least Dark Link has a reason to be doubtful
"Your more of a fool then I thought."
ZeldaQueen: Lord almighty is this guy generic
Midna: Does Dark Link have a mustache? It sounds like he's that type of villain
Ganondorf: At least he's not speaking in old fashioned English
I begun to shake as the sneering voice continued to vibrate threw
All: "THROUGH"!!!
the Temple's corridors. "FOOL!? You're the fool! Why won't you show yourself?!" Link screamed as he unsheathed the Master Sword.
Link: *stands up on sofa* Okay, I need to vent. Sorry. LISTEN AND LISTEN WELL, SUETHOR! I AM NOT A SHAKESPEAREAN ACTOR, NOR AM I A HERO IN A CHEESY MOVIE! I FIND THE MONSTER, I KILL THE MONSTER, I DON'T BREAK A SWEAT, I GO HOME! I DO NOT STAND AROUND MAKING STUPID SPEECHES! LET DARK LINK, THE STUPID BASTARD, TALK LIKE THAT IF YOU WANT, BUT LEAVE ME ALONE! GOD!!! *sits back down*
Ganondorf: Well howled
Just then we heard a shuffling sound behind us.
Midna: Wait, aren't they still underwater? How is there shuffling underwater?
ZeldaQueen: How are they yelling underwater?
Then the next thing I knew, I was struck from behind and then all went black.
Midna: Dark Link just attacked the Sue. I think I like him now
Ganondorf: I am confused. What sort of a room where they in? I do not believe many of the rooms in the Water Temple were so large that an enemy could sneak up behind Link without him knowing
When I awoke, I noticed I was lying on the floor bound hand and foot with rope. Looking around the room, I saw Link sitting next to me bound as well.
Link: Oh come on! There is no fucking way that I would be knocked out and defeated that easily! I've had boulders fall on me and stayed conscious! What the goddam hell, Suethor, what the goddam hell?
I tried to tug at my bonds, but it seemed no matter how hard I tried the bonds seemed to tighten.
ZeldaQueen: Mighty strange laws of physics you've got in the land of Hyrule
"Its no use Jenna, I've already tried." Link said in a faltering tone. "It seems that we are prisoner of my mirror self."
ZeldaQueen: Yes, despite the fact that Link was clearly able to destroy him the first time around, when he didn't even know what to expect! And despite the fact that LINK HAS ARROWS AND BOMBS AND A FIRE SPELL AND A NUMBER OF SHARP, POINTY THINGS HE COULD USE TO CUT THE ROPES, IGNORING THE FACT THAT HE'S MOVED FAR HEAVIER THINGS AND OUGHT TO BE ABLE TO BREAK A FEW ROPES!
Link: *sobs at his canon rape*
Midna and Ganondorf: *stay quiet out of sympathy*
"You are so right." Called the sneering voice again.
Link: Yes, sneering. Have we established yet that Dark Link is evil? I don't think we have!
Just then a figure appeared in the doorway to the room. "So…the "Hero of Time" is now my prisoner. How long I awaited this day, the day when I would get revenge on my counter part."
Midna: Revenge for what?
Link: Killing him I think, though that ought to have gotten in the way of any later plans he might have had
I watched as the shadowy figure moved forward revealing an exact copy of Link. Although the "copy" was darker, wearing a black tunic and hat, and those blood red eyes shone with pure evil. As he approached Link, the look of him made me shiver in fear. "What are you going to do with us?" Link said with hatred in his voice. "Hmmm….I haven't decided what I'm going to do with you yet."
Ganondorf: And he has no ulterior motives? No plans besides pure spite? What sort of a silly villain is he? I have dirtied my boots stepping on more terrifying enemies!
Then he glanced over at me, his blood red eyes piercing into my soul. "But I think I have plans for that beautiful wife of yours." The mirror image said with amusement in his voice.
Midna: Yes. He's going to rape the Sue to show us how eviiiill he is and because she's just that beautiful
"Oh by the way…call me Dark Link."
ZeldaQueen: Call me Ishmael
Just then Dark Link strode over and bend down beside me, "Such a beautiful creature." He said as he put his hand under my chin, lifting my head up to face him. I shot him a look of hate.
Ganondorf: How sweet, she is attempting to act brave and tough
"I have plans for you sweet thing." Dark Link said as he ran his hands seductively down the side of my face.
Link: Yeesh, could you lay it on any thicker, buddy?
"What the hell are you talking about!?" I looked up at him, his red eyes seemed to glow with an evil desire.
Midna: What do you think, you brainless idiot?
"Oh…I have special plans for you. You will soon find out." He begun to laugh, a laugh so hideous that it made my skin crawl.
ZeldaQueen: Given his act thus far, he's probably going to tie her to some railroad tracks
Realizing what he meant, my eyes grew as big as saucers.
Link: Which I set cups of blood on
"I want nothing to do with YOU in that manor!" I cried as I spat in his face.
ZeldaQueen: But she'll have something to do with him in another manor? The first one must not be up to her standards, my oh my
"You Bitch, you'll pay for that!"
Midna: And it seems that "bitch" is now a proper noun
Whipping the spit from his face, he backhanded me, leaving a stinging sensation on my cheek. "How dare you hit my wife!" Link screamed.
Ganondorf: How dare you fart before my wife?
Midna: I'm sorry, I didn't know it was her turn
"Well it seems you're in no condition do anything about it." Dark Link said with humor.
ZeldaQueen: Did adverbs personally offend this Suethor's mother or something? Why does she go out of her way to avoid using them?
Then the dark being faced me again. "I will be back for you real soon." Running his hand down the side of my face again, he smiled then got up and strode to the door. "Now don't think of trying to escape." He said with a smirk then walked out.
Link: (Dark Link) "No really, don't think of trying to escape. I'm just going to leave you for no reason at all and I know you probably have some means of cutting rope hidden on your person, so please don't think of ways to escape or else I can't get my revenge"
I looked over at Link. "What are we going to do?"
ZeldaQueen: I'm going to weep for the loss of canon
"I dunno, he took my sword and I cannot break the bonds.
Ganondorf: (Link) "Durr...I dunno!"
It seems were at Dark Link's mercy." Link said as his face faltered.
Link: What on Earth is up with the Suethor? Didn't she go on before about how I was the "perfect man"? She played the game, right? How could she think that I'd admit defeat with only a few ropes holding me back?
"I will not concede to defeat!" I cried as I twisted forward. "I don't want to either my love, but I'm at a loss on what to do."
Midna: (Link) "Since I've never had to solve puzzles or work my way through difficult situations before or anything, I think I'll just give up and let you get raped and be killed by Dark Link"
I was beginning to grow concerned. The thought of what hideous things Dark Link might do to me, sent shivers up my spine.
Ganondorf: You know, seeing as she is tied up and at the sexual mercy of a crazed monster, she gives the impression that she is only mildly concerned
I tried to tug at my bonds again, but to no avail. I was beginning to think that all hope was lost, when a glint of something shiny caught my eye. I peered deeper into the darkness on the other side of the room, as I pushed my self away from the wall and slinked across the floor. When I got close enough to the shining object, I realized that the glints were coming off the gems on my Phoenix Circles. It seemed that in his hast to remove our weapons, Dark Link seemingly forgot to take my Phoenix Circles with the rest of the weapons.
Mida: Wow, Dark Link is even stupider than I thought
Ganondorf: Wait, were the things just lying on the floor? And he just didn't notice them?
ZeldaQueen: Okay, I think I understand the assassination of Link's character - the Suethor needs to pussify him so that her own character can steal the spotlight and lead the escape
"Link look, over on that table across the room. Its my Phoenix Circles. "I said as I leaned forward.
ZeldaQueen: They're on a table? They're on a table? AND DARK LINK STILL DIDN'T NOTICE THEM? HOW DID THEY GET ON THE TABLE THEN? DID THEY JUST HOP UP THERE THEMSELVES?!?!
"How do you suppose we are going to get to it? We're still bound." Link reminded.
Ganondorf: But they are not tied to the floor or wall. Can they not simply craw across the floor?
Looking back down at my bonds, the feeling of my cat instincts washed over me again.
Midna: Here we go again
Gracefully, I leaned forward until my mouth met the bonds around my ankles. Slowly I took part of the rope into my mouth and begun to gnaw at it. Quickly I chewed my way threw the rope, knowing I had to make hast. I had to break my bonds before Dark Link returned.
Link: Sorry, one second - YES, YOU CHEWED THROUGH THE ROPES THAT A HERO, WHO IS SURELY MORE MUSCULAR THAN YOU ARE, COULDN'T BREAK! AND YOU DID IT "QUICKLY"! IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT! YOUR TEETH OUGHT TO BE LITTLE PIECES OF GRAVEL!
After some work, I managed to chew through the bonds around my ankles.
Midna: Mighty limber there
ZeldaQueen: Might explain some of the sex scenes
Link: Shut up!
I got up and staggered over to the table where my Phoenix Circles where sitting. Turning around, I took one of them into my hands and worked it around until the blade was resting against the bonds around my wrists. Taking it, I slowly managed to cut threw my bonds.
ZeldaQueen: Again, why couldn't she have just wiggled across the floor and used the table for support to get upright?
Ganondorf: Because then she could not show off
ZeldaQueen: Ah yes. And for those many mentions of bonds, PDORD Count = 58
Putting my weapon down, I rubbed my wrists to soothe the pain from the slight wounds that came from when I tried to break the bonds. "Link I'm free." Grabbing my weapon I walked over to him. "How did you manage to break your bonds?" Link asked with shock. "Well I owe it all to the training I had while I was traveling.
Link: WHAT?!?
ZeldaQueen: For the love of fuck, Suethor, STOP PULLING SKILLS OUT OF YOUR ANUS!
Now its time to break your bonds." Reaching down I placed the blade of my Phoenix Circle against the bonds on Link's ankles. Snapping the ropes off, I motioned for Link to turn around. Placing the blade against the rope, I sliced it off in one swift swipe. Rubbing his wrists he looked up at me with a smile on his face.
Ganondorf: In the midst of enemy territory and still there is time for Sue fawning
"You're amazing my love." He said with a smile. I walked into Link's arms and kissed him.
ZeldaQueen: Not now! You are fighting for your lives!!!
Then his expression changed into a serious one. "Now we must get out of here and find the rest of our weapons before Dark Link returns." Nodding, I grabbed my Phoenix Circles, and followed Link as we slowly made our way to the door. Inching his way out the door, Link checked to see if anyone was coming. "Coast is clear, lets go." Link whispered. Slinking our way down the dark corridors, the echo of Dark Link's taunting voice lingered in the air. "We must hurry…this way." Link pointed towards a hallway with a light shining at the end.
Ganondorf: To summarize this passage, they leave the room and run down the hallway. In one sentence, I replaced that entire paragraph
Winding threw the shadows we came upon a lighted room. Quietly Link opened the door. Peeking inside what we saw was a sight for sore eyes. There on a table sat our weapons. "Oh my Goddesses…..there they are." I said as I ran inside. "Link the Master Sword is here along with our bows!"
ZeldaQueen: So Dark Link did get Link's bow. What about his bombs, Deku Nuts, spells, shield, Megaton Hammer, or Longshot?
Reaching over I grabbed my bow and quiver. I swung the bow over my back, then threw the quiver over my shoulder. Then I grabbed the Master Sword, his bow and quiver and handed them over to Link. Link took the sword and buckled it over his back then swung his bow and quiver over his shoulder. Unfastening the sword, Link removed it from its sheath. He took the sword and swung it threw the air, listening to the rushing sound it made as though it was cutting the air like a knife threw butter. "I'm just glad to have my sword back." Link said as he swung it one last time before sheathing it. "Now lets get the hell out of here." Just then the door swung open.
Midna: My turn - they get their weapons, put them on, and try to run away. Hooray
"Going somewhere?" There in the doorway stood Dark Link. "I thought I told you two to stay put!" An evil sneer crossed Dark Link's face as he eyed us over. "I don't take orders from the likes of you!" Link sneered back.
Link: I DON'T SNEER!
"You will be after I'm finished with you." Just then Dark Link drew a sword with a remarkably likeness to the Master Sword. At that point, with Dark Link holding a sword just like the Master Sword, I begun to think that this is one battle Link would not win alone.
Ganondorf: Despite the fact that he already did so
Drawling
Midna: Is that like "grabbling"?
my Phoenix Circles I made a daring charge at Dark Link. Feeling my cat like instincts kick in, I jumped gracefully into the air, aiming my weapons directly at his face.
ZeldaQueen: Seriously, if she could do all of this before, why didn't she mention it? And how is she able to leap around like that? She just had a kid not so long ago!
Just before I managed to strike, Dark Link raised his sword and blocked my weapon causing a clank of metal and sparks to fill into the air. Falling back, I swiftly rushed forward and high kicked Dark Link in the face, causing him to go flying back into a wall. Staggering back up, his face twisted into an evil grin. "So…you want to play rough do you?" He said wiping the blood from his mouth. "I can show you just how rough I can play!"
Ganondorf: Ah yes, the Sue is able to strike and draw first blood before Link does. Of course
Link: *screams incoherently*
A flash of white light surrounded the room, causing Link and I to be blinded. I felt myself being lifted into the air, as if someone was carrying me. I heard Dark Link's sinister laugh ring threw my ears then all went black.
ZeldaQueen: Spoilers folks - this is never explained
With unblinking eyes I stared into the blackness of the room I was in. Cold water shifted around my ankles as I walked around. Pushing my way threw the darkness, I listened for any sounds that might be my love Link. "LINK…Link where are you my love?! Link are you there?" I cried out into the darkness, but all there was, was silence.
ZeldaQueen: Just use that fancy mental connection of yours then
Continuing to move forward, I finally found myself standing in front of a strange tree. Looking up at it, it looked twisted and ugly, as if it was a tortured soul. Its twisted branches stretched out like clawed fingers, as if it was trying to grab something. Backing up, the cold water brushed up against my legs, causing a cold chill to run up my back.
Link: Oh how nice, she's trying to be poetic
Just then a chilling laugh pierced the darkness. Looking back towards the tree, a black figure slinked out from behind it. It's chilling blood red eyes sending a chill deep into my soul. "Dark Link…where the hell am I and where is Link!?" I sneered raising my Phoenix Circles up in front of me. Snapping his fingers a sudden light filled the room, lighting up the surroundings. A sudden shock ran threw me. "Oh…my Goddesses…is this the strange room Link described where he first met his counter part?"
Link: I have no idea why they call it "the strange room". Sure it was weird, but there are more descriptive ways of putting it
Then something caught my eye. Looking over my shoulder, there bound to the wall over the way out, was Link. "OH MY GODDESSES…LINK!" I cried clopping
All: "CLAPPING"!!!
my hands over my mouth. "What the hell have you done to him you bastard!?"
ZeldaQueen: (Dark Link) "I got him out of this fic! Stop that howling, woman! It's kinder than leaving him with you!"
"I told you earlier…if you want to play rough, I will show you just how rough I can play!" An evil glint rose in Dark Link's eyes, the flame of hatred flicking in them. "If you want to save your love; then you must defeat me."
Link: Ganondorf, whatever I may say about you, know that I think you are infinitely more classy than this doofus
Ganondorf: That is very kind. And I know you to be a far superior warrior than this castrated cheesball
Eyeing him, I poised into a fighting stance, placing my Phoenix Circles up in front of me. I knew I was in for a long battle
All: CONVENIENT CLIFFHANGER, AHOY!
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Midna: Is it over?
ZeldaQueen: That chapter is. Jesus Christ, even when there's fighting, this thing is unbelievably boring!
Onward to: Chapter 14: The Final Fight
Back to: Chapter 12: Down The Road
Return to: Table of Content
ZeldaQueen: Woot! I'm back! My word, those brownies work wonders...
Link: Fantastic! Let's get rid of these dipsticks then, and get going
Midna: Oh no, not so fast!
Ganondorf: I do wish to see how this turns out, if only to tell Vaati and Zant later
ZeldaQueen: M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. rules clearly state that any sporkers can join in if they want
Link: Fine! But know this, Ganondorf - if you even hint to anyone else about what goes on in this chapter, I swear I won't rest until I've dug up the worst fanfiction about you and have everyone spork it
Ganondorf: *goes pale* You wouldn't dare
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 13: The Encounter
The Encounter
ZeldaQueen: Of a close kind
Grabbling
Midna: That sounds faintly dirty
my bow and my (9)Phoenix circles and Link equipped with the Master Sword, I kissed little Link, said a few words to Ruto then Link and I headed for Lake Hylia and the Water Temple.
All: *stare*
Link: Wow. I really think she topped herself with that one
ZeldaQueen: Yep. Let's see, bad sentence structure, run on, and a god-awful footnote which goes as such - "(9) The Phoenix Circles are one form of a Charkam. A Charkam is a round weapon kind of like a sword only in the form of a circle (exe Zena Warrior Princess's weapon). The Charkam has a blade curvature in the shape of a crescent moon with a round hilt on one side. The Phoenix Circles in this story, its blade is lined with all different kinds of valuable gems and the symbol of the Phoenix." In other words, they look like this
ZeldaQueen: It's also spelled "Chakram", not "Charkam"
Link: So wait, where the fuck did those things come from? She never mentioned having them at all! And "valuable gems"? How did she even afford them? How did she learn to use them? Were they gifts from Zelda? What?
Ganondorf: Hm, I knew not that there were Phoenix in the land of Hyrule
Midna: Zena in a Zelda fanfiction. My my...
We went to the stable to grab our horses,
All: END SENTENCE!
since Epona was carrying, I saddled Star Dancer and Link saddled Midnight Star.
Link: Oh, that's nice! Just butt my horse out of action, why don't you?
ZeldaQueen: You know, this sort of strikes me as more of this stupid anti-feminism stuff. "Oh look! The canon female horse who served Link faithfully throughout the whole game is pregnant and can't be used! How convenient!"
Link: It's really creepy how she keeps separating me from my canon female acquaintances
Midna: Watch out for your rabbit if you ever break up with her, Link
Mounting our horses, we left the sanctuary of our house, and made our way through the blinding snow. The storm had kicked up again. It was very cold and the snow knee deep.
Ganondorf: Will you shut up about the snow and cold!
Midna: *yawning* Typical Sue, even the weather is exceptional for her to marvel over
ZeldaQueen: Well, I know she did a lot of repetition when I was zonked and I need to catch up, so I'll just give her ten bumps for good measure. PDORD Count = 50
The wind whipped our cloaks around as we pushed onward. Visibility was next to nothing, I could barely see Link in front of me. "Jenna are you ok?!" Link yelled over the howling wind. "So far I'm ok, but I can barely see anything in front of me!" I yelled back. "Just follow the sound of my voice my love, I will help guide you!" Listing to Link's voice, I was able to follow him. We kept a steady pace, pushing through the deep wet snow. I wrapped my now damp cloak around me trying to stay warm.
Link: Yadda, yadda, yadda, boring stuff
ZeldaQueen: Seriously Suethor, figure out what the audience wants to read about! I can assure you, the battle with Dark Link is infinitely preferable to them going through a storm
After some time we finally came to the fences leading to Lake Hylia.
Ganondorf: My, that was fast
By this time the storm had died down some so visibility was much better. Link made Midnight Star come to a complete stop, causing snow to kick up behind the stallion's powerful hooves. Pulling back on the reins Star Dancer came to a complete stop just a few feet behind Link. "Why did we stop?" I questioned. "We need to jump these fences, but with the snow as deep as it is I know that Midnight Star can make the jump but, do you think your mare can handle the jump?" Looking down at my mare, I patted her on the head and stroked her mane. "I have full confidence in her Link, she can make the jump." "Then lets go!" Link yelled.
ZeldaQueen: Yes Jenna, Link's big, strong, male horse can obviously make the jump, but can your punny, weak, female horse do so? AUGH!
Midna: This is completely pointless.
Link: More than you even know! There are ladders around the fences! They could just climb over them!
ZeldaQueen: *sigh* Jump, jump, jump! PDORD Count = 52
Backing up his horse, Link prepared for the jump. When he had enough distance, he booted the horse in the legs
Link: You boot a horse in the ribs, not the legs! C'mon now, I ought to know better!
and ran towards the fences guarding the lake. With a kicking up of snow, the black stallion flew gracefully over the fences, leaving a trail of mist behind him. Bringing the horse to a stop on the other side of the fences he looked at me. "Now you make the jump."
All: GET ON WITH IT!
Nodding, I backed up my mare and prepared for the jump. When I had enough distance between the fences and I, I booted my horse in the legs
Link: RIBS!
and bolted towards the fences. Just before I reached the fences, a cloud of snow kicked up behind my horse's powerful hooves as she made the rough jump over the fences. Link then took off in front of me and called for me to follow. I watched as the lake slowly became visible.
Midna: Well, I'm glad that they devoted... *counts* two or so paragraphs to leaping a fence
Ganondorf: Indeed, for the story is that much more enriched by it
When we reached the bank of Lake Hylia, we were shocked at what we saw. Pulling our horses to a complete stop I exchanged glances with Link. "The lake is frozen over!
ZeldaQueen: Much like Hell
How are we supposed to get inside now?" I said as we dismounted.
All: USE A DIFFERENT WORD!
Pulling out his bow, Link nocked an arrow of fire and shot it at the lake. Steam rose up as the fire melted the ice beneath its fiery rage.
ZeldaQueen: Think you could mention fire any more there? PDORD Count = 53
"Well well, Link your full of surprises." I said with envoy.
Midna: His full of surprises what?
Link: Must have something to do with the Sue's envoy
Link smiled, then nocked a few more arrows and shot them one by one into the ice, creating a hole in the ice. "Now we can get inside." Link inquired. "Wait a second Link, isn't the door to the Temple under the water?" Link nodded. "How do you suppose we are going to get in there?"
Link: "We" aren't. I'm going to tie you to a rock and drop your butt into the lake to drown. Hopefully your pretty little corpse will scare Dark Link into never leaving the temple ever
Walking back over to his horse, Link reached into his saddlebags and pulled something out of it. Turning back to me he threw a blue looking tunic at me. "Put that on."
Ganondorf: Ah, it is "blue looking"? Does that suggest that it is not actually blue, an imitation?
Link: No, I think she just was trying to sound deep
"That's the Zora tunic, it allows its wearer to breath under the water." I looked down at the tunic in my hands, wondering if it would really work.
Link: Look bitch, I've been from one end of Hyrule to the other and used all of my items long enough to have plenty of experience. If I say something will work, then it fucking well will!
"Are you sure its going to fit me?"
ZeldaQueen: Jenna, the Zoras are far skinnier than Link and he still fits into the tunics. I doubt it'd be an issue. Or are your hooters really that big?
Looking back at me his eyes seemed to glow.
All: SHUT UP ABOUT THE EYES!
"Don't worry my love it will." Looking back down at it one more time, I took it and slipped it on over my dress.
Midna: Fighting in a dress. How practical
Then I walked over to Link just as he finished putting his on.
Link: Why would I have two of those things at once? I could only just manage one of everything
"Now the entrance is at the bottom. The only way to get down there is with the Iron Boots."
ZeldaQueen: So Link has the Fire Arrows, the Zora Tunic, the Iron Boots, and the Master Sword. This all implies that he still has all of his weapons from the game. Keep this in mind for later, dear viewers
"Iron what?" I asked with curiosity in my voice.
Ganondorf: They are called the Iron Boots! What do you think they are, you idiot?
"The Iron Boots are boots made of Iron to help the wearer to be heavy enough to walk on lake bottoms.
ZeldaQueen: You don't say?
ZeldaQueen: CAPTAIN OBVIOUS, to the rescue! Oh and PDORD Counter = 54
"Oh that's amazing, you never cease to surprise me Link my love." I said with a little giggle.
Midna: Is she retarded?
ZeldaQueen: Well, she's not the crunchiest chip in the bag...
Link: Okay, they're sneaking into an underwater temple with a dark monster they were pissing their pants over before. Now my fictional self is holding a questions and answers session while the Sue giggles about how great said counterpart is. What?
"Now since there is only one pair, you'll have to hang onto me or you will just float back to the surface." Nodding, I watched as Link equipped the Iron Boots.
ZeldaQueen: (Sue) "More excuses to cling! Hooray!"
When he was ready, I grabbed onto his arm as we made our way into the lake. The boots made a loud clopping sound as we descended to the lake's bottom. Walking on the bottom of the lake made me feel a little uneasy, but I had confidence in my husband's abilities. When we reached the Temple's gate, I looked up at the blood red jewel sitting above the entrance. A slight shiver went down my spine as I stared at the ghoulish looking thing. Hugging onto Link, we descended into the Temple. As we walked further into the eerie Temple, a wash of uneasiness ran over me.
Link: Blah, blah, blah, vaguely creepy stuff which is nowhere near the worst I've fought, get on with it!
"Where do we go from here?" I said as I held onto Link tightly.
All: STOP CLINGING!
"I'm not sure, but my best guess is that we should head for that strange room."
Ganondorf: HA! That's specific!
Link: Right. We're in an underwater temple with three floors that have countless and mostly-flooded chambers, pools, traps, and tunnels. Let's go for "that strange room"!
As we descended deeper into the Water Temple, I started to feel as if someone was watching us. "Link do you feel as if we are being watched?"
ZeldaQueen: PDORD Count = 55
"Yeah I feel it, I also feel a presence as well. He's here I can feel it."
ZeldaQueen: GOD DAMN IT! PDORD Count = 56
Feeling my cat like instincts kick in,
ZeldaQueen: Wait, what?!?
Link: Where the fuck did those come from?
Midna: Probably the same place she got those Phoenix Circle things from
I raised my head up and sniffed the air.
Midna: Wow, she really is part cat!
ZeldaQueen: It's a were-Jenna! Run for your life!
"You're right, I smell something fowl.
All: *stare and then burst out laughing*
Ganondorf: She really is part cat! Who knew?
ZeldaQueen: That explains the tiger sex before!
He's close." I said lowering my head.
ZeldaQueen: I like to think that her neck can extend like a car jack
"Closer then you think." A sneering voice called from within the Temple.
Link: What? Where are they? The temple is huge! Doors? Tunnels? What?
I jumped at the sound of the eerie voice echoing threw the corridors. "Come out and show yourself, I know you're here!" Link yelled as he unfastened his sword in its sheath.
Link: Oh come on! There is no way in Hell that I react like that!
"Ha ha so…the "Hero of Time" has returned to challenge me." The sneering voice called again.
ZeldaQueen: You know, I can almost accept the quotes around "Hero of Time" there. At least Dark Link has a reason to be doubtful
"Your more of a fool then I thought."
ZeldaQueen: Lord almighty is this guy generic
Midna: Does Dark Link have a mustache? It sounds like he's that type of villain
Ganondorf: At least he's not speaking in old fashioned English
I begun to shake as the sneering voice continued to vibrate threw
All: "THROUGH"!!!
the Temple's corridors. "FOOL!? You're the fool! Why won't you show yourself?!" Link screamed as he unsheathed the Master Sword.
Link: *stands up on sofa* Okay, I need to vent. Sorry. LISTEN AND LISTEN WELL, SUETHOR! I AM NOT A SHAKESPEAREAN ACTOR, NOR AM I A HERO IN A CHEESY MOVIE! I FIND THE MONSTER, I KILL THE MONSTER, I DON'T BREAK A SWEAT, I GO HOME! I DO NOT STAND AROUND MAKING STUPID SPEECHES! LET DARK LINK, THE STUPID BASTARD, TALK LIKE THAT IF YOU WANT, BUT LEAVE ME ALONE! GOD!!! *sits back down*
Ganondorf: Well howled
Just then we heard a shuffling sound behind us.
Midna: Wait, aren't they still underwater? How is there shuffling underwater?
ZeldaQueen: How are they yelling underwater?
Then the next thing I knew, I was struck from behind and then all went black.
Midna: Dark Link just attacked the Sue. I think I like him now
Ganondorf: I am confused. What sort of a room where they in? I do not believe many of the rooms in the Water Temple were so large that an enemy could sneak up behind Link without him knowing
When I awoke, I noticed I was lying on the floor bound hand and foot with rope. Looking around the room, I saw Link sitting next to me bound as well.
Link: Oh come on! There is no fucking way that I would be knocked out and defeated that easily! I've had boulders fall on me and stayed conscious! What the goddam hell, Suethor, what the goddam hell?
I tried to tug at my bonds, but it seemed no matter how hard I tried the bonds seemed to tighten.
ZeldaQueen: Mighty strange laws of physics you've got in the land of Hyrule
"Its no use Jenna, I've already tried." Link said in a faltering tone. "It seems that we are prisoner of my mirror self."
ZeldaQueen: Yes, despite the fact that Link was clearly able to destroy him the first time around, when he didn't even know what to expect! And despite the fact that LINK HAS ARROWS AND BOMBS AND A FIRE SPELL AND A NUMBER OF SHARP, POINTY THINGS HE COULD USE TO CUT THE ROPES, IGNORING THE FACT THAT HE'S MOVED FAR HEAVIER THINGS AND OUGHT TO BE ABLE TO BREAK A FEW ROPES!
Link: *sobs at his canon rape*
Midna and Ganondorf: *stay quiet out of sympathy*
"You are so right." Called the sneering voice again.
Link: Yes, sneering. Have we established yet that Dark Link is evil? I don't think we have!
Just then a figure appeared in the doorway to the room. "So…the "Hero of Time" is now my prisoner. How long I awaited this day, the day when I would get revenge on my counter part."
Midna: Revenge for what?
Link: Killing him I think, though that ought to have gotten in the way of any later plans he might have had
I watched as the shadowy figure moved forward revealing an exact copy of Link. Although the "copy" was darker, wearing a black tunic and hat, and those blood red eyes shone with pure evil. As he approached Link, the look of him made me shiver in fear. "What are you going to do with us?" Link said with hatred in his voice. "Hmmm….I haven't decided what I'm going to do with you yet."
Ganondorf: And he has no ulterior motives? No plans besides pure spite? What sort of a silly villain is he? I have dirtied my boots stepping on more terrifying enemies!
Then he glanced over at me, his blood red eyes piercing into my soul. "But I think I have plans for that beautiful wife of yours." The mirror image said with amusement in his voice.
Midna: Yes. He's going to rape the Sue to show us how eviiiill he is and because she's just that beautiful
"Oh by the way…call me Dark Link."
ZeldaQueen: Call me Ishmael
Just then Dark Link strode over and bend down beside me, "Such a beautiful creature." He said as he put his hand under my chin, lifting my head up to face him. I shot him a look of hate.
Ganondorf: How sweet, she is attempting to act brave and tough
"I have plans for you sweet thing." Dark Link said as he ran his hands seductively down the side of my face.
Link: Yeesh, could you lay it on any thicker, buddy?
"What the hell are you talking about!?" I looked up at him, his red eyes seemed to glow with an evil desire.
Midna: What do you think, you brainless idiot?
"Oh…I have special plans for you. You will soon find out." He begun to laugh, a laugh so hideous that it made my skin crawl.
ZeldaQueen: Given his act thus far, he's probably going to tie her to some railroad tracks
Realizing what he meant, my eyes grew as big as saucers.
Link: Which I set cups of blood on
"I want nothing to do with YOU in that manor!" I cried as I spat in his face.
ZeldaQueen: But she'll have something to do with him in another manor? The first one must not be up to her standards, my oh my
"You Bitch, you'll pay for that!"
Midna: And it seems that "bitch" is now a proper noun
Whipping the spit from his face, he backhanded me, leaving a stinging sensation on my cheek. "How dare you hit my wife!" Link screamed.
Ganondorf: How dare you fart before my wife?
Midna: I'm sorry, I didn't know it was her turn
"Well it seems you're in no condition do anything about it." Dark Link said with humor.
ZeldaQueen: Did adverbs personally offend this Suethor's mother or something? Why does she go out of her way to avoid using them?
Then the dark being faced me again. "I will be back for you real soon." Running his hand down the side of my face again, he smiled then got up and strode to the door. "Now don't think of trying to escape." He said with a smirk then walked out.
Link: (Dark Link) "No really, don't think of trying to escape. I'm just going to leave you for no reason at all and I know you probably have some means of cutting rope hidden on your person, so please don't think of ways to escape or else I can't get my revenge"
I looked over at Link. "What are we going to do?"
ZeldaQueen: I'm going to weep for the loss of canon
"I dunno, he took my sword and I cannot break the bonds.
Ganondorf: (Link) "Durr...I dunno!"
It seems were at Dark Link's mercy." Link said as his face faltered.
Link: What on Earth is up with the Suethor? Didn't she go on before about how I was the "perfect man"? She played the game, right? How could she think that I'd admit defeat with only a few ropes holding me back?
"I will not concede to defeat!" I cried as I twisted forward. "I don't want to either my love, but I'm at a loss on what to do."
Midna: (Link) "Since I've never had to solve puzzles or work my way through difficult situations before or anything, I think I'll just give up and let you get raped and be killed by Dark Link"
I was beginning to grow concerned. The thought of what hideous things Dark Link might do to me, sent shivers up my spine.
Ganondorf: You know, seeing as she is tied up and at the sexual mercy of a crazed monster, she gives the impression that she is only mildly concerned
I tried to tug at my bonds again, but to no avail. I was beginning to think that all hope was lost, when a glint of something shiny caught my eye. I peered deeper into the darkness on the other side of the room, as I pushed my self away from the wall and slinked across the floor. When I got close enough to the shining object, I realized that the glints were coming off the gems on my Phoenix Circles. It seemed that in his hast to remove our weapons, Dark Link seemingly forgot to take my Phoenix Circles with the rest of the weapons.
Mida: Wow, Dark Link is even stupider than I thought
Ganondorf: Wait, were the things just lying on the floor? And he just didn't notice them?
ZeldaQueen: Okay, I think I understand the assassination of Link's character - the Suethor needs to pussify him so that her own character can steal the spotlight and lead the escape
"Link look, over on that table across the room. Its my Phoenix Circles. "I said as I leaned forward.
ZeldaQueen: They're on a table? They're on a table? AND DARK LINK STILL DIDN'T NOTICE THEM? HOW DID THEY GET ON THE TABLE THEN? DID THEY JUST HOP UP THERE THEMSELVES?!?!
"How do you suppose we are going to get to it? We're still bound." Link reminded.
Ganondorf: But they are not tied to the floor or wall. Can they not simply craw across the floor?
Looking back down at my bonds, the feeling of my cat instincts washed over me again.
Midna: Here we go again
Gracefully, I leaned forward until my mouth met the bonds around my ankles. Slowly I took part of the rope into my mouth and begun to gnaw at it. Quickly I chewed my way threw the rope, knowing I had to make hast. I had to break my bonds before Dark Link returned.
Link: Sorry, one second - YES, YOU CHEWED THROUGH THE ROPES THAT A HERO, WHO IS SURELY MORE MUSCULAR THAN YOU ARE, COULDN'T BREAK! AND YOU DID IT "QUICKLY"! IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT! YOUR TEETH OUGHT TO BE LITTLE PIECES OF GRAVEL!
After some work, I managed to chew through the bonds around my ankles.
Midna: Mighty limber there
ZeldaQueen: Might explain some of the sex scenes
Link: Shut up!
I got up and staggered over to the table where my Phoenix Circles where sitting. Turning around, I took one of them into my hands and worked it around until the blade was resting against the bonds around my wrists. Taking it, I slowly managed to cut threw my bonds.
ZeldaQueen: Again, why couldn't she have just wiggled across the floor and used the table for support to get upright?
Ganondorf: Because then she could not show off
ZeldaQueen: Ah yes. And for those many mentions of bonds, PDORD Count = 58
Putting my weapon down, I rubbed my wrists to soothe the pain from the slight wounds that came from when I tried to break the bonds. "Link I'm free." Grabbing my weapon I walked over to him. "How did you manage to break your bonds?" Link asked with shock. "Well I owe it all to the training I had while I was traveling.
Link: WHAT?!?
ZeldaQueen: For the love of fuck, Suethor, STOP PULLING SKILLS OUT OF YOUR ANUS!
Now its time to break your bonds." Reaching down I placed the blade of my Phoenix Circle against the bonds on Link's ankles. Snapping the ropes off, I motioned for Link to turn around. Placing the blade against the rope, I sliced it off in one swift swipe. Rubbing his wrists he looked up at me with a smile on his face.
Ganondorf: In the midst of enemy territory and still there is time for Sue fawning
"You're amazing my love." He said with a smile. I walked into Link's arms and kissed him.
ZeldaQueen: Not now! You are fighting for your lives!!!
Then his expression changed into a serious one. "Now we must get out of here and find the rest of our weapons before Dark Link returns." Nodding, I grabbed my Phoenix Circles, and followed Link as we slowly made our way to the door. Inching his way out the door, Link checked to see if anyone was coming. "Coast is clear, lets go." Link whispered. Slinking our way down the dark corridors, the echo of Dark Link's taunting voice lingered in the air. "We must hurry…this way." Link pointed towards a hallway with a light shining at the end.
Ganondorf: To summarize this passage, they leave the room and run down the hallway. In one sentence, I replaced that entire paragraph
Winding threw the shadows we came upon a lighted room. Quietly Link opened the door. Peeking inside what we saw was a sight for sore eyes. There on a table sat our weapons. "Oh my Goddesses…..there they are." I said as I ran inside. "Link the Master Sword is here along with our bows!"
ZeldaQueen: So Dark Link did get Link's bow. What about his bombs, Deku Nuts, spells, shield, Megaton Hammer, or Longshot?
Reaching over I grabbed my bow and quiver. I swung the bow over my back, then threw the quiver over my shoulder. Then I grabbed the Master Sword, his bow and quiver and handed them over to Link. Link took the sword and buckled it over his back then swung his bow and quiver over his shoulder. Unfastening the sword, Link removed it from its sheath. He took the sword and swung it threw the air, listening to the rushing sound it made as though it was cutting the air like a knife threw butter. "I'm just glad to have my sword back." Link said as he swung it one last time before sheathing it. "Now lets get the hell out of here." Just then the door swung open.
Midna: My turn - they get their weapons, put them on, and try to run away. Hooray
"Going somewhere?" There in the doorway stood Dark Link. "I thought I told you two to stay put!" An evil sneer crossed Dark Link's face as he eyed us over. "I don't take orders from the likes of you!" Link sneered back.
Link: I DON'T SNEER!
"You will be after I'm finished with you." Just then Dark Link drew a sword with a remarkably likeness to the Master Sword. At that point, with Dark Link holding a sword just like the Master Sword, I begun to think that this is one battle Link would not win alone.
Ganondorf: Despite the fact that he already did so
Drawling
Midna: Is that like "grabbling"?
my Phoenix Circles I made a daring charge at Dark Link. Feeling my cat like instincts kick in, I jumped gracefully into the air, aiming my weapons directly at his face.
ZeldaQueen: Seriously, if she could do all of this before, why didn't she mention it? And how is she able to leap around like that? She just had a kid not so long ago!
Just before I managed to strike, Dark Link raised his sword and blocked my weapon causing a clank of metal and sparks to fill into the air. Falling back, I swiftly rushed forward and high kicked Dark Link in the face, causing him to go flying back into a wall. Staggering back up, his face twisted into an evil grin. "So…you want to play rough do you?" He said wiping the blood from his mouth. "I can show you just how rough I can play!"
Ganondorf: Ah yes, the Sue is able to strike and draw first blood before Link does. Of course
Link: *screams incoherently*
A flash of white light surrounded the room, causing Link and I to be blinded. I felt myself being lifted into the air, as if someone was carrying me. I heard Dark Link's sinister laugh ring threw my ears then all went black.
ZeldaQueen: Spoilers folks - this is never explained
With unblinking eyes I stared into the blackness of the room I was in. Cold water shifted around my ankles as I walked around. Pushing my way threw the darkness, I listened for any sounds that might be my love Link. "LINK…Link where are you my love?! Link are you there?" I cried out into the darkness, but all there was, was silence.
ZeldaQueen: Just use that fancy mental connection of yours then
Continuing to move forward, I finally found myself standing in front of a strange tree. Looking up at it, it looked twisted and ugly, as if it was a tortured soul. Its twisted branches stretched out like clawed fingers, as if it was trying to grab something. Backing up, the cold water brushed up against my legs, causing a cold chill to run up my back.
Link: Oh how nice, she's trying to be poetic
Just then a chilling laugh pierced the darkness. Looking back towards the tree, a black figure slinked out from behind it. It's chilling blood red eyes sending a chill deep into my soul. "Dark Link…where the hell am I and where is Link!?" I sneered raising my Phoenix Circles up in front of me. Snapping his fingers a sudden light filled the room, lighting up the surroundings. A sudden shock ran threw me. "Oh…my Goddesses…is this the strange room Link described where he first met his counter part?"
Link: I have no idea why they call it "the strange room". Sure it was weird, but there are more descriptive ways of putting it
Then something caught my eye. Looking over my shoulder, there bound to the wall over the way out, was Link. "OH MY GODDESSES…LINK!" I cried clopping
All: "CLAPPING"!!!
my hands over my mouth. "What the hell have you done to him you bastard!?"
ZeldaQueen: (Dark Link) "I got him out of this fic! Stop that howling, woman! It's kinder than leaving him with you!"
"I told you earlier…if you want to play rough, I will show you just how rough I can play!" An evil glint rose in Dark Link's eyes, the flame of hatred flicking in them. "If you want to save your love; then you must defeat me."
Link: Ganondorf, whatever I may say about you, know that I think you are infinitely more classy than this doofus
Ganondorf: That is very kind. And I know you to be a far superior warrior than this castrated cheesball
Eyeing him, I poised into a fighting stance, placing my Phoenix Circles up in front of me. I knew I was in for a long battle
All: CONVENIENT CLIFFHANGER, AHOY!
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Midna: Is it over?
ZeldaQueen: That chapter is. Jesus Christ, even when there's fighting, this thing is unbelievably boring!
Onward to: Chapter 14: The Final Fight
Back to: Chapter 12: Down The Road
Return to: Table of Content