~Fun with Quest for Glory I - Thanks for NOTHING
ugh god i am sick this sucks
suuuuuuuuuuuuucks
ugggh
on the other hand I beat Super Paper Mario. A fun little weird game, but I love most Mario games so you know. They're so earnest in a very simple way. I loved the random shifts in play style and such, like the dating sim or old school rpg battle stuff and heh. I also liked the realtime battles rather than individual screen battles, since i get bored so easily and nothing's more tedious then hitting an enemy, waiting for the screen to shift, mashing a until enemy is dead, waiting for the screen to shift, repeat ad infinitum. i wonder if i just don't have the lack of cynicism/patience for cliches attention span anymore to play a JRPG or something. god my head hurts.
god that game square-enix came out with recently, the one where they chained the moon to the earth or something, jesus christ that looks stupid. why does square-enix have sucha huge boner for the moon, what did the moon ever do to you
monsters do not come from the moon
people shouldn't come from the moon
i think i've just outgrown square-enix as a company or something, all their games don't interest me at all, all is see are irritating cliches and predictable dialogue and stupid plot twists and annoying battle systems and grinding grinding grinding cardboard characters grinding belts belts lol gay subtext stupid character designs end of the game has nothing to do with the beginning of the game oh no someone heroically sacrificed themselves my god the hero has amnesia his childhood friend and romantic interest and angsty stoic and big giant and random animal creature look out for the big corporation/organization that's destroying the planet this is incredibly deep and has a vastly important message wait fifteen minutes for this animation to finish oh no ahsdyagyygaffff
but maybe that's all jrpgs, absolutely none of them interest me anymore, i've done it, i'm done
ow ow ow
i feel a bit incoherent right now
what was i doing? oh right, quest for glory. last time we killed an ogre to find out what's in a cave? what's in this cave? come and see.
Previous Editions
why there's a bear in here. anyone who marked bear on their bingo card come up and claim a prize
the kobold cave theme is just kind of plunky and eerie a bit. plays whenever you're in any cave. i like this theme.
i must detach that something immediately
GET AWAY FROM ME
I NEED AN ADULT
so whatcha got over here
WOOPS
for some reason i didn't cap the death message. wtf self. anyway.
statchecking after the ogre battle (lol)
have some rations, hungry bear
i guess you're cool, you can go on through
what
anyway LET'S KEEP GOING
obviously i need that key
kobolds are from some mythical literature or something i'm sure now but heck if i can remember it now
this battle is kind of tricky because you have no idea how well you're doing against the kobold, there's no health bar for it. so you just whack away at it and hope you get lucky. at least that works for me.
BAH i can do this i took the ogre
so after loading and taking some stamina/healing potions
it would kind of suck to have some random hero walk into your house and kill you just cause you're a kobold with a key on your neck
speakin of which, thieves sneak up to the kobold and take the key without waking it up. magic users have a magic battle with it.
this is worth a life
i could be a kobold
THEY LOOK DELICIOUS
wow that didn't kill me, i'm shocked
I don't THINK I took a health hit, i dunno
anyway if you're playing along, you don't want to pick these up if you're selling shrooms to the healer. they'll mix with the fairy shrooms and then she won't buy any, and you don't get any benefit from picking them up. you should just leave them there, mostly.
aha
it's more obvious when you're at a higher resolution
so picky
THEN HERE'S MY KEY
Aaand you take a health hit. Thankfully my hero is very buff so he is fine. I think that can kill you though if you're not careful.
BUT ISN'T THERE A BETTER WAY?
Trigger'll blow it up, just make sure you're not too close. Thieves can just sneak up and pick the lock if i recall, but the trap will still go off, which will wake up the kobold. So you pretty much have to kill the kobold first before robbing him. I'M A HERO!
RUN WILD THROUGH THE WOODS, LIKE HUMANS SHOULD
GASP
Fun fact: not sure how we did this once, but me and alix managed to glitch up the game and get trapped on this screen, which you're not supposed to be able to do. WAY TO GO BUGCHECKERS! we've never been able to replicate it though, just a random glitch of many.
Freeing the Baronet only plays for 25 seconds, but it's another example of just how integrated the QFG theme is in practically every bit of music for the game. The whole game is just tied inextricably to that theme, which is something that I absolutely love in games. It helps me build a connection, in a weird way, to have one them tie so many things together. what was i talking about
Nice face.
HIS DEATH WAS FOR THE GREATER GOOD
Anyway when you gotta go you gotta go so let's get going
heh that raised my intelligence
THANKS
I like that, just a magical being could explode on you without warning and then what would you do
get a vacuum
DON'T MESS WITH FAIRIES
this game made me very cautious of rings of anything as a child
thats the dispel potion there, i helpfully put my eye icon on it so you can't see what it looks like
there we go
this is a magic potion. always restores half your mana. useful when you have lots, not so much when it gives you back 7 points.
these are stamina potions. they are always useful for grinding. you will need them if you are a true hero.
dispel potion
undead unguent. i don't know why that container makes it look so appealing to me, wtf. it's like honey
by the way, if you're playing this, there's another annoying glitch that happens here and with zara too. If you buy more than one potion, only one will show up in your inventory unless you go to your inventory, open it, close it, then open it again. like refreshing it. this is really dumb and i don't know why they didn't catch this. ANOTHER MARK ON THE QFG1 VGA GLITCH BOARD
so if you're buying potions buy them one at a time and make sure each one appears before you buy the next or you can be out a lot of money
rub it all over yourself and you will smell
alright, no worries here thankfully
anyway spent the rest of the day leveling
LET'S GO SEE THE BARON
here's another fun glitch by the way, this installment is full of them.
if you're coming back to the castle for this sequence DO NOT SNEAK. DO NOT RUN. YOU MUST BE WALKING.
OTHERWISE THE GAME WILL LOCK UP ON THE NEXT SCREEN BECAUSE IT DOESN'T THINK YOU'D BE DOING EITHER OF THOSE THINGS FOR SOME REASON
MAKE SURE YOU ARE WALKING.
Triumphant trumpet fanfare!
You can hear both trumpet players come in in The Baron's Castle. I really love this theme a lot. I love the intro to it, and then how melancholy, yet kind of hopeful it sounds when you go inside. Like someone old just learning to hope, which fits the whole situation entirely. I am incredibly gay for this game.
It has such pretty guitar in this theme.
mustn't keep them waiting
AS OPULENT AS YOU PICTURED? Y/N
Your hero bows for you, thus saving Sierra a bunch of frustrated calls of WHY WON'T THE GAME PLAY?? as it's done in the past.
I like the Baron, even if he was an idiot for trying to kick out Baba Yaga to an extent. Unless she was like, killing people and eating them and he was all quit it, which could have been happening, i guess.
:D
go suck a-
I don't think you get this message if you don't kill the kobold, so.
AW SHUCKS
yeah i bet you are you tart
NAH IT'LL NEVER HAPPEN
"probably won't be you though"
WOOO MONEY
but i have nothing to wear
DO I
Siegfried, hmm
Yeah, that kind of escalated really quickly.
Yeah it did!
Sort of got out of hand.
I like that he's aware of this but doesn't do anything about it, haha.
I like bringing hope back into people's lives, what
MAGIC why didn't I think of that?!
I'M ON THE JOB
Pity I didn't know him better.
I got this covered.
cause he'd be such a big help
ENOUGH EMO, LET'S GET TO WORK
You CAN go through the ambush! I did it later, I'll show you guys when we get to it.
hmm
you seriously deserved it
YOU WERE SO BIG AND HAIRY AND SMELLY
SHUT UP
"After you do it first"
Heir to my fist in your face.
NO WAIT I'M NOT DONE
Ah, Raseir. God I love QFG2.
I like that.
Heh
Chevron?
"That's where you're sleeping, by the way."
I like that as a detail too.
KAY I'M DONE
HEROING'S A GREAT BUSINESS
Alriiight.
Thieves make this look like spare change, but it's nice to have a huge chunk of change. :D
NONE OF THAT IN THIS GAME THANK YOU
Once you have all/most of the spells (or maybe when you visit him again?) Erasmus starts to ask you these questions.
I JUST SO HAPPEN TO HAVE IT RIGHT HERE
SURE WHY NOT
Oooo
GOD #$%# IT.
This is one of the more irritating glitch/problems/errors you can get while playing most old VGA Sierra games. I'm not sure what causes it, but it can usually happen totally without warning at any time, which is another reason to save often.
Alix says that a handle is like an address you give to windows, and windows will give you back a stacked object, so instead of having this huge thing, you just pass around the equivalent of an int, so rather than going through tons of data that complex programs require, you have a kind of an index that'll call certain functions when you need them. A handle is something calling one of those functions, but you can only have a certain amount of them at one time, and what probably happened is there was some function that didn't stop working or get cleared right, and when it runs out of space, bam out of handles.
That's kind of a simplification but that's basically what happens, he says. Or at least he thinks that's what it is. Usually if something not getting cleaned up or cleared, or if too many things are happening at once for it to handle. So it might not necessarily be a bug, but then again it might be, depends on how the whole thing was programmed.
ANYWAY SAVE OFTEN TO TRY AND AVOID GETTING CAUGHT OFF-GUARD BY THIS.
So anyway loaded and went back up there and this time no error, so let's play Mage's Maze!
Mage's Maze is extremely easy. I dunno if it's just Erasmus's AI being stupid or what but you can beat this with like, ten magic points, if you have the magic potions to keep your mana up. Basically, you interact with different things on the map using different spells. Fetch lets you move bridges/ladders, Open moves boulders, Flame Dart makes your little flame dude big bigger biggest then small again, and I forget what Trigger does but basically it's very simple. You start in the top left corner, the little blue flame. Erasmus is purple and in the right corner.
Basically open the boulder, move a bridge, move a ladder, make your guy one step bigger so he can go down the ladder.
CLick the thing in the corner to drink a magic potion. You should always have at least one on you just in case.
Open the boulders, shrink your dude, he'll go through the open path. Occasionally Erasmus will take bridges or move boulders but it's more random than anything else and really you barely have to think about it.
Already near the bottom! Just need to fetch a bridge to cross the gap...
This must have been harder in the EGA version.
But you're so bad at it. :O
You can play Mage's Maze to raise your Intelligence and Magic, but you're probably better off just casting spells in the forest, really.
Hero: Don't look at me.
THANK YOU THANK YOU
Yuk yuk yuk
If you're in an odd are and get a magic reading off of anything, it's best to cast Trigger first just to see if it has a trap on it.
Heh
Lies!
If there was a sitcom about a dotty old wizard and his wisecracking familiar getting into magical mischief, i would probably watch it.
Sort of useful but not really. Can be chained with spells later though if you're trying to raise magic. Dazzle, move to one side of the screen, flame dart, dazzle, repeat. You'll need the mana for it though.
I AM ON TO YOUR CLEVER WORD GAMES
Better than nothing, anyway.
AND ON TO GLORY! What mischief will our Hero get into next time? Check the next installment.
ugh god my head aaaaghhh
suuuuuuuuuuuuucks
ugggh
on the other hand I beat Super Paper Mario. A fun little weird game, but I love most Mario games so you know. They're so earnest in a very simple way. I loved the random shifts in play style and such, like the dating sim or old school rpg battle stuff and heh. I also liked the realtime battles rather than individual screen battles, since i get bored so easily and nothing's more tedious then hitting an enemy, waiting for the screen to shift, mashing a until enemy is dead, waiting for the screen to shift, repeat ad infinitum. i wonder if i just don't have the lack of cynicism/patience for cliches attention span anymore to play a JRPG or something. god my head hurts.
god that game square-enix came out with recently, the one where they chained the moon to the earth or something, jesus christ that looks stupid. why does square-enix have sucha huge boner for the moon, what did the moon ever do to you
monsters do not come from the moon
people shouldn't come from the moon
i think i've just outgrown square-enix as a company or something, all their games don't interest me at all, all is see are irritating cliches and predictable dialogue and stupid plot twists and annoying battle systems and grinding grinding grinding cardboard characters grinding belts belts lol gay subtext stupid character designs end of the game has nothing to do with the beginning of the game oh no someone heroically sacrificed themselves my god the hero has amnesia his childhood friend and romantic interest and angsty stoic and big giant and random animal creature look out for the big corporation/organization that's destroying the planet this is incredibly deep and has a vastly important message wait fifteen minutes for this animation to finish oh no ahsdyagyygaffff
but maybe that's all jrpgs, absolutely none of them interest me anymore, i've done it, i'm done
ow ow ow
i feel a bit incoherent right now
what was i doing? oh right, quest for glory. last time we killed an ogre to find out what's in a cave? what's in this cave? come and see.
Previous Editions
why there's a bear in here. anyone who marked bear on their bingo card come up and claim a prize
the kobold cave theme is just kind of plunky and eerie a bit. plays whenever you're in any cave. i like this theme.
i must detach that something immediately
GET AWAY FROM ME
I NEED AN ADULT
so whatcha got over here
WOOPS
for some reason i didn't cap the death message. wtf self. anyway.
statchecking after the ogre battle (lol)
have some rations, hungry bear
i guess you're cool, you can go on through
what
anyway LET'S KEEP GOING
obviously i need that key
kobolds are from some mythical literature or something i'm sure now but heck if i can remember it now
this battle is kind of tricky because you have no idea how well you're doing against the kobold, there's no health bar for it. so you just whack away at it and hope you get lucky. at least that works for me.
BAH i can do this i took the ogre
so after loading and taking some stamina/healing potions
it would kind of suck to have some random hero walk into your house and kill you just cause you're a kobold with a key on your neck
speakin of which, thieves sneak up to the kobold and take the key without waking it up. magic users have a magic battle with it.
this is worth a life
i could be a kobold
THEY LOOK DELICIOUS
wow that didn't kill me, i'm shocked
I don't THINK I took a health hit, i dunno
anyway if you're playing along, you don't want to pick these up if you're selling shrooms to the healer. they'll mix with the fairy shrooms and then she won't buy any, and you don't get any benefit from picking them up. you should just leave them there, mostly.
aha
it's more obvious when you're at a higher resolution
so picky
THEN HERE'S MY KEY
Aaand you take a health hit. Thankfully my hero is very buff so he is fine. I think that can kill you though if you're not careful.
BUT ISN'T THERE A BETTER WAY?
Trigger'll blow it up, just make sure you're not too close. Thieves can just sneak up and pick the lock if i recall, but the trap will still go off, which will wake up the kobold. So you pretty much have to kill the kobold first before robbing him. I'M A HERO!
RUN WILD THROUGH THE WOODS, LIKE HUMANS SHOULD
GASP
Fun fact: not sure how we did this once, but me and alix managed to glitch up the game and get trapped on this screen, which you're not supposed to be able to do. WAY TO GO BUGCHECKERS! we've never been able to replicate it though, just a random glitch of many.
Freeing the Baronet only plays for 25 seconds, but it's another example of just how integrated the QFG theme is in practically every bit of music for the game. The whole game is just tied inextricably to that theme, which is something that I absolutely love in games. It helps me build a connection, in a weird way, to have one them tie so many things together. what was i talking about
Nice face.
HIS DEATH WAS FOR THE GREATER GOOD
Anyway when you gotta go you gotta go so let's get going
heh that raised my intelligence
THANKS
I like that, just a magical being could explode on you without warning and then what would you do
get a vacuum
DON'T MESS WITH FAIRIES
this game made me very cautious of rings of anything as a child
thats the dispel potion there, i helpfully put my eye icon on it so you can't see what it looks like
there we go
this is a magic potion. always restores half your mana. useful when you have lots, not so much when it gives you back 7 points.
these are stamina potions. they are always useful for grinding. you will need them if you are a true hero.
dispel potion
undead unguent. i don't know why that container makes it look so appealing to me, wtf. it's like honey
by the way, if you're playing this, there's another annoying glitch that happens here and with zara too. If you buy more than one potion, only one will show up in your inventory unless you go to your inventory, open it, close it, then open it again. like refreshing it. this is really dumb and i don't know why they didn't catch this. ANOTHER MARK ON THE QFG1 VGA GLITCH BOARD
so if you're buying potions buy them one at a time and make sure each one appears before you buy the next or you can be out a lot of money
rub it all over yourself and you will smell
alright, no worries here thankfully
anyway spent the rest of the day leveling
LET'S GO SEE THE BARON
here's another fun glitch by the way, this installment is full of them.
if you're coming back to the castle for this sequence DO NOT SNEAK. DO NOT RUN. YOU MUST BE WALKING.
OTHERWISE THE GAME WILL LOCK UP ON THE NEXT SCREEN BECAUSE IT DOESN'T THINK YOU'D BE DOING EITHER OF THOSE THINGS FOR SOME REASON
MAKE SURE YOU ARE WALKING.
Triumphant trumpet fanfare!
You can hear both trumpet players come in in The Baron's Castle. I really love this theme a lot. I love the intro to it, and then how melancholy, yet kind of hopeful it sounds when you go inside. Like someone old just learning to hope, which fits the whole situation entirely. I am incredibly gay for this game.
It has such pretty guitar in this theme.
mustn't keep them waiting
AS OPULENT AS YOU PICTURED? Y/N
Your hero bows for you, thus saving Sierra a bunch of frustrated calls of WHY WON'T THE GAME PLAY?? as it's done in the past.
I like the Baron, even if he was an idiot for trying to kick out Baba Yaga to an extent. Unless she was like, killing people and eating them and he was all quit it, which could have been happening, i guess.
:D
go suck a-
I don't think you get this message if you don't kill the kobold, so.
AW SHUCKS
yeah i bet you are you tart
NAH IT'LL NEVER HAPPEN
"probably won't be you though"
WOOO MONEY
but i have nothing to wear
DO I
Siegfried, hmm
Yeah, that kind of escalated really quickly.
Yeah it did!
Sort of got out of hand.
I like that he's aware of this but doesn't do anything about it, haha.
I like bringing hope back into people's lives, what
MAGIC why didn't I think of that?!
I'M ON THE JOB
Pity I didn't know him better.
I got this covered.
cause he'd be such a big help
ENOUGH EMO, LET'S GET TO WORK
You CAN go through the ambush! I did it later, I'll show you guys when we get to it.
hmm
you seriously deserved it
YOU WERE SO BIG AND HAIRY AND SMELLY
SHUT UP
"After you do it first"
Heir to my fist in your face.
NO WAIT I'M NOT DONE
Ah, Raseir. God I love QFG2.
I like that.
Heh
Chevron?
"That's where you're sleeping, by the way."
I like that as a detail too.
KAY I'M DONE
HEROING'S A GREAT BUSINESS
Alriiight.
Thieves make this look like spare change, but it's nice to have a huge chunk of change. :D
NONE OF THAT IN THIS GAME THANK YOU
Once you have all/most of the spells (or maybe when you visit him again?) Erasmus starts to ask you these questions.
I JUST SO HAPPEN TO HAVE IT RIGHT HERE
SURE WHY NOT
Oooo
GOD #$%# IT.
This is one of the more irritating glitch/problems/errors you can get while playing most old VGA Sierra games. I'm not sure what causes it, but it can usually happen totally without warning at any time, which is another reason to save often.
Alix says that a handle is like an address you give to windows, and windows will give you back a stacked object, so instead of having this huge thing, you just pass around the equivalent of an int, so rather than going through tons of data that complex programs require, you have a kind of an index that'll call certain functions when you need them. A handle is something calling one of those functions, but you can only have a certain amount of them at one time, and what probably happened is there was some function that didn't stop working or get cleared right, and when it runs out of space, bam out of handles.
That's kind of a simplification but that's basically what happens, he says. Or at least he thinks that's what it is. Usually if something not getting cleaned up or cleared, or if too many things are happening at once for it to handle. So it might not necessarily be a bug, but then again it might be, depends on how the whole thing was programmed.
ANYWAY SAVE OFTEN TO TRY AND AVOID GETTING CAUGHT OFF-GUARD BY THIS.
So anyway loaded and went back up there and this time no error, so let's play Mage's Maze!
Mage's Maze is extremely easy. I dunno if it's just Erasmus's AI being stupid or what but you can beat this with like, ten magic points, if you have the magic potions to keep your mana up. Basically, you interact with different things on the map using different spells. Fetch lets you move bridges/ladders, Open moves boulders, Flame Dart makes your little flame dude big bigger biggest then small again, and I forget what Trigger does but basically it's very simple. You start in the top left corner, the little blue flame. Erasmus is purple and in the right corner.
Basically open the boulder, move a bridge, move a ladder, make your guy one step bigger so he can go down the ladder.
CLick the thing in the corner to drink a magic potion. You should always have at least one on you just in case.
Open the boulders, shrink your dude, he'll go through the open path. Occasionally Erasmus will take bridges or move boulders but it's more random than anything else and really you barely have to think about it.
Already near the bottom! Just need to fetch a bridge to cross the gap...
This must have been harder in the EGA version.
But you're so bad at it. :O
You can play Mage's Maze to raise your Intelligence and Magic, but you're probably better off just casting spells in the forest, really.
Hero: Don't look at me.
THANK YOU THANK YOU
Yuk yuk yuk
If you're in an odd are and get a magic reading off of anything, it's best to cast Trigger first just to see if it has a trap on it.
Heh
Lies!
If there was a sitcom about a dotty old wizard and his wisecracking familiar getting into magical mischief, i would probably watch it.
Sort of useful but not really. Can be chained with spells later though if you're trying to raise magic. Dazzle, move to one side of the screen, flame dart, dazzle, repeat. You'll need the mana for it though.
I AM ON TO YOUR CLEVER WORD GAMES
Better than nothing, anyway.
AND ON TO GLORY! What mischief will our Hero get into next time? Check the next installment.
ugh god my head aaaaghhh