I've had 2 kids. We went through the same things and we had rules that we stuck with. When we made a decision, we didn't back down (which meant that we had to actually have rules and decisions we could live with). So sometimes we went home halfway through the meal at the restaurant or got to the grocery store and had to leave in the middle of shopping. Kids need rules and they need to know where they stand.
I adore my kids. I've been told how well behaved they are and what a joy they are to have around. And I've never hit them. Time outs don't work that well but firmness does. And consequences. And love.
Thanks for the FB, I'm sorry I didn't get to this sooner! I tend to focus so much on squee and fandom joy. :) She is getting into 'that' age. She is polite insofar as saying 'please' and 'thank you' are concerned and everyone always remarks to me how great that is! I think it's sad that's a novelty, but that's me. Now I just have to get her to understand that the universe does not revolve around her and whatever she wants in that immediate moment. :D Mostly, that's her problem right now. She's an only child too, but I was a different sort of kid. I had no problem playing on my own and having imagination. For her, it seems to be harder. :(
I've got two girls and I have done the same. If they misbehaved then I did not sit there and allow them to annoy everyone who had come to the restaurant for a pleasant meal--or to enjoy a movie. I removed them from the premises and made sure they understood that their bad behavior would not be tolerated. They soon learned that I never bluffed over such matters.
BTW: I discovered the trick for supermarket/store tantrums. One of mine pitched a tantrum so I looked at her and said...when you're finished, I'll be over there getting the vegetables...and walked away. I was still in sight so there was no danger but I've always believed in the 'time out' corner.
LOL for #2! That's how my MIL always handled her nieces, even at home. She'd say 'Go in the bedroom and let me know when you're done crying'. :) Half-the-time it's only a bid for attention and the sooner we figure that out, the better! Even in situations like the above, she is just at the stage where she's the center of the universe far as she's concerned. She just needs to learn to share her time with everyone and we'll be much happier to include her!
I think the important thing is to actually tell her during her temper tantrum/crying for attention snit that you'll just wait over there until she's finished. Once she realizes that she is NOT going to get her way by having a tantrum/crying then you can talk to her properly.
It worked with my girls...and what your MIL did/does is what I mean by a time out. It's a 'go over there until you're ready to come back and deal with this sensibly' time out :)
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I adore my kids. I've been told how well behaved they are and what a joy they are to have around. And I've never hit them. Time outs don't work that well but firmness does. And consequences. And love.
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BTW: I discovered the trick for supermarket/store tantrums. One of mine pitched a tantrum so I looked at her and said...when you're finished, I'll be over there getting the vegetables...and walked away. I was still in sight so there was no danger but I've always believed in the 'time out' corner.
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It worked with my girls...and what your MIL did/does is what I mean by a time out. It's a 'go over there until you're ready to come back and deal with this sensibly' time out :)
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