Mixed up. I think I'm more okay with it now than I was...five or six hours ago, whenever it was. I need to watch it again though. I was a tiny bit spoilered, but not really, in hindsight. And the last few minutes--well, I cringed really hard when he jumped off that roof, though it was obvious he was going to do it, and actually when I put just that part on again because I wanted to see the very end (missed the rainbow and things), after reading some several-months old meta about it, I still cringed. It's simply very hard for me to watch.
I got some theories that worked for me, though, from the meta, although the 'happy' tone of the ending makes me uneasy. I like Simm's interpretation of the ending. A more literal interpretation fills me with shock and grief. But, leaving aside the sensation that we were supposed to be a little too happy about the way it turned out, at this point, I think it makes sense, as an ending
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He broke my heart with that thing. I actually wanted it to end with the jump, with everyone being dead, but it was still a rather brave thing to do. I liked Matthew Graham's insistence on the 70's bits being the last bits of Sam's consciousness as he dies, the last few seconds stretched out. That helped me feel better about the ending, because I did want it to be as disturbing, because the whole series had been disturbing and dark and hopeless when it came to SamAngst and Present Day. Call me sick, but that's what got me hooked, even though I did love the funny bits with all of my heart.
I did, too (want it to end with the jump), although that would have broken me in yet another way. And, really, you're right: a happily-ever-after ending would have been wrong, which is why my initial reading of the finale was so...confused. And maybe it was the fact that Sam, for once, wasn't angsting about it, that he was accepting it/going along with it/giving up (however you want to read it), that turned my mouth into a big round O of nooooo (not necessarily a bad 'no', though, just a flaily no--except for the really rather upset 'no' on behalf of his mum), of Oh, Sam. Of course, the whole episode (and in a sense the whole show) was one long Oh, Sam after another. Oh, Sam. Oh, Sam.
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It was a matter of not wanting it to end.
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I got some theories that worked for me, though, from the meta, although the 'happy' tone of the ending makes me uneasy. I like Simm's interpretation of the ending. A more literal interpretation fills me with shock and grief. But, leaving aside the sensation that we were supposed to be a little too happy about the way it turned out, at this point, I think it makes sense, as an ending ( ... )
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