"You're gorgeous/handsome/beautiful/pretty"

[yvennat]

Dammit, WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE TAKE A COMPLIMENT?!
Seriously! Since I've moved here, I've scared off one person, freaked out another, and actually offended a third!
Out of four people, only one took the compliment. Not very well, mind you, but he didn't react badly at least.
And it's not just in New Mexico! Texas is better, maybe half of the people I've

Comments

[vikingcoder]

They would believe that you were not attempting to smooth talk something out of them. Common courtesy is like common sense - it isn't common.

It also goes in the same vein of "why do girls purposefully get involved with assholes while saying they want a nice guy?"

When you see a wolf, you know it's a wolf. When you see a sheep, you wonder if there is a wolf under that clothing.

[yvennat]

Don't understand how it goes in that vein as well. What now?

And I always try to to say it at such a time as they would know I didn't want anything from them: first I say something along the lines of "Just wanted to tell you, you're ___. Just figured you'd like/ought to know." And I immediately walk away, to prove that I just wanted to tell them that.
And WTF do they do?! They actually DISlike me!

Am I going about this the wrong way? Do people Not need or want the ego boost/attention/evidence that people are actually nice?

[vikingcoder]

You pegged it originally. Most people are ignorant - willfully so.

There is also the fact that accepting a compliment requires trust. Whenever somebody does something nice, the instinct is too immeadiately raise the shields because the sucker punch is coming.

As for how it fits with the "nice guy" paradox:

The perception is that anybody acting nice must have ulterior motives. Don't trust anybody who doesn't have their own interests at the forefront. As for those who do - at best, their agenda suits your needs and at worst, the blade in your back won't be a surprise.