X-Men, Illyana Rasputin/Kitty Pryde "Girls and Ghosts"
Author: Bitterfig
Title: Girls and Ghosts
Fandom: X-Men (Marvel Comics)
Pairing: Illyana Rasputin/Kitty Pryde
Summary: The first night they roomed together, Illyana told Kitty how she had died.
Word Count: 1044
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Mentions of child sexual abuse.
Author’s Note: Written for yuri_challenge for the prompt “Kitty Pryde/Illyana Rasputin- first night”.
Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. Any illegal acts taking place within that fiction are NOT condoned by the author. Depictions of any questionable, illegal, or potentially illegal activity in said fiction does not mean that I condone, promote, support, participate in, or approve of said activity. I grasp the distinction between fiction and reality and trust that readers will do the same.
Girls and Ghosts
The first night they roomed together, Illyana told Kitty how she had died.
“You taught me to how to fight,” Illyana said. “For two years we lived hard out in the wilderness, training every day. When you thought we were ready we tried to defeat Belasco. We tried, but we never had a chance. Both of us were his creatures deep down. We both belonged to him.
“He turned you into a monster, a demon cat. I was afraid of you after that, I ran from you. Your claws and your teeth and your anger. Sometimes you caught me but sometimes your true self would shine through your eyes. That was the worst. Around the time I learned to teleport, Storm attacked Belasco. You tried to kill her. I killed you.”
Illyana related the story in a flat, even voice as if it was a fairy tale she knew by heart but which bore no relation to her actual life.
Hardly knowing what to say Kitty chose her words carefully.
“I think that what you did was a mercy,” she said. “I wouldn’t want to have lived that way.”
“That’s what I tell myself,” Illyana said.
*****
The first night Kitty spent in Limbo she was afraid. Of course during her short life Kitty Pryde had often had cause to be afraid. She knew how to live with fear.
She lived with fear as Illyana’s eyes turned red, as she sprouted horns from her forehead, fangs and a tail.
She lived with fear as her best friend shouted orders at a host of grotesque and twisted demons, flogging them mercilessly with a bullwhip.
The demons brought them dinner at a table made of human bones. Red, rare meat dripping blood, and red wine. Kitty picked at some bread and grapes while Illyana devoured the meat and drank chalice after chalice of the wine.
When at last they were together in the bedchamber Illyana reverted to herself. No horns, no tail, but the fear lingered.
“Sorry about that,” Illyana said. “The demons expect it. They wouldn’t respect me if I were soft or kind.”
“You told me once that Limbo is a reflection of your soul,” Kitty said.
“Now you’ve seen the truth about my soul.” Illyana said. “I’m not good, Kitty. There’s a poison corruption inside me.”
“You are good,” Kitty insisted. Illyana laughed. Her horns appeared.
“I’ll get you out of here first thing in the morning,” she promised. “I don’t like you being here, Kitty Cat. It reminds me of the other you, how Belasco and I destroyed you. I won’t ever let that happen to you again. I’d die first.”
Kitty threw her arms around her friend, holding onto her tight. They spent the night huddled together on the huge fur-covered bed, scarcely sleeping.
After that, every time Illyana went into Limbo Kitty felt like she was losing a little piece of her. One tiny piece each time.
*****
The first night they kissed Illyana pushed Kitty away.
“No,” she said. “Not with me.”
“Because of your brother?” Kitty asked. “He left me, remember.”
“Because of what I am,” Illyana said. “You don’t understand, Kitty. What you had with Piotr was pure. You loved him and he loved you. With me it could only be filthy and wrong.”
“I don’t believe that,” Kitty said. “Why can’t two girls love each other as much as a man and a woman?”
“They can,” Illyana assured her. “But not if one of the girls is me. You still don’t understand what I am. I was Belasco’s concubine from the time I was nine years old. I didn’t love him but I wanted to learn magik, to gain power, to save myself. I was his whore, I was his little girl.
“We did things together that people should only do if they love each other like you and Piotr did. After those years with him, I’m tainted.
“You deserve real love Kitty. You should be with someone like Doug who’s never been with anyone else. Then the two of you can explore your bodies together. You can discover it, you can invent it. I already know sex. I know all the tricks.”
“I won’t judge you, Illyana. Don’t judge yourself. You grew up in Hell, you did what you had to to survive. Anyone would have done the same. It doesn’t make you dirty. I know you. I’ve seen the little girl and the demon sorceress and the young woman and I love them all. Nothing can make you dirty.”
*****
The first night they made love they were in their room at Xavier’s school. The world was crashing down around them and they clung together. At some point in the night Kitty began kissing her friend. This time Illyana allowed it, reached up to stroke Kitty’s curls but that was all. The rest was all Kitty. There were no tricks, no advanced technique, just one girl and another girl coming together.
The first night they made love, Illyana cried.
*****
Kitty was in England when she heard that Illyana had died.
No.
Not died, just ceased to be. Every trace of her since the moment she had first disappeared into Limbo had been obliterated, cleansed from reality. She had never trained in the desert with that warped incarnation of Kitty Pryde called Cat. She had never been Belasco’s child mistress, she had never mastered the circles of light that carried her through time and space and dimensions.
Illyana Rasputin was seven years old again.
Kitty wanted to be happy for her. Better than anyone she knew how Illyana had suffered, what she had gone through in those years in Limbo. Wasn’t it a kindness, wasn’t it a mercy that she had a fresh start?
Yet Kitty could not be glad. She’d lost her best friend, her confidant, her onetime lover. As the grown-up Illyana had never existed she and Kitty had never told each other their secrets, never consoled each other, never kissed. The pain was gone, but the love was too.
That first night Kitty learned of Illyana’s fate she felt like a ghost in her own life, not just because of the insubstantial nature of her body.
Title: Girls and Ghosts
Fandom: X-Men (Marvel Comics)
Pairing: Illyana Rasputin/Kitty Pryde
Summary: The first night they roomed together, Illyana told Kitty how she had died.
Word Count: 1044
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Mentions of child sexual abuse.
Author’s Note: Written for yuri_challenge for the prompt “Kitty Pryde/Illyana Rasputin- first night”.
Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. Any illegal acts taking place within that fiction are NOT condoned by the author. Depictions of any questionable, illegal, or potentially illegal activity in said fiction does not mean that I condone, promote, support, participate in, or approve of said activity. I grasp the distinction between fiction and reality and trust that readers will do the same.
Girls and Ghosts
The first night they roomed together, Illyana told Kitty how she had died.
“You taught me to how to fight,” Illyana said. “For two years we lived hard out in the wilderness, training every day. When you thought we were ready we tried to defeat Belasco. We tried, but we never had a chance. Both of us were his creatures deep down. We both belonged to him.
“He turned you into a monster, a demon cat. I was afraid of you after that, I ran from you. Your claws and your teeth and your anger. Sometimes you caught me but sometimes your true self would shine through your eyes. That was the worst. Around the time I learned to teleport, Storm attacked Belasco. You tried to kill her. I killed you.”
Illyana related the story in a flat, even voice as if it was a fairy tale she knew by heart but which bore no relation to her actual life.
Hardly knowing what to say Kitty chose her words carefully.
“I think that what you did was a mercy,” she said. “I wouldn’t want to have lived that way.”
“That’s what I tell myself,” Illyana said.
*****
The first night Kitty spent in Limbo she was afraid. Of course during her short life Kitty Pryde had often had cause to be afraid. She knew how to live with fear.
She lived with fear as Illyana’s eyes turned red, as she sprouted horns from her forehead, fangs and a tail.
She lived with fear as her best friend shouted orders at a host of grotesque and twisted demons, flogging them mercilessly with a bullwhip.
The demons brought them dinner at a table made of human bones. Red, rare meat dripping blood, and red wine. Kitty picked at some bread and grapes while Illyana devoured the meat and drank chalice after chalice of the wine.
When at last they were together in the bedchamber Illyana reverted to herself. No horns, no tail, but the fear lingered.
“Sorry about that,” Illyana said. “The demons expect it. They wouldn’t respect me if I were soft or kind.”
“You told me once that Limbo is a reflection of your soul,” Kitty said.
“Now you’ve seen the truth about my soul.” Illyana said. “I’m not good, Kitty. There’s a poison corruption inside me.”
“You are good,” Kitty insisted. Illyana laughed. Her horns appeared.
“I’ll get you out of here first thing in the morning,” she promised. “I don’t like you being here, Kitty Cat. It reminds me of the other you, how Belasco and I destroyed you. I won’t ever let that happen to you again. I’d die first.”
Kitty threw her arms around her friend, holding onto her tight. They spent the night huddled together on the huge fur-covered bed, scarcely sleeping.
After that, every time Illyana went into Limbo Kitty felt like she was losing a little piece of her. One tiny piece each time.
*****
The first night they kissed Illyana pushed Kitty away.
“No,” she said. “Not with me.”
“Because of your brother?” Kitty asked. “He left me, remember.”
“Because of what I am,” Illyana said. “You don’t understand, Kitty. What you had with Piotr was pure. You loved him and he loved you. With me it could only be filthy and wrong.”
“I don’t believe that,” Kitty said. “Why can’t two girls love each other as much as a man and a woman?”
“They can,” Illyana assured her. “But not if one of the girls is me. You still don’t understand what I am. I was Belasco’s concubine from the time I was nine years old. I didn’t love him but I wanted to learn magik, to gain power, to save myself. I was his whore, I was his little girl.
“We did things together that people should only do if they love each other like you and Piotr did. After those years with him, I’m tainted.
“You deserve real love Kitty. You should be with someone like Doug who’s never been with anyone else. Then the two of you can explore your bodies together. You can discover it, you can invent it. I already know sex. I know all the tricks.”
“I won’t judge you, Illyana. Don’t judge yourself. You grew up in Hell, you did what you had to to survive. Anyone would have done the same. It doesn’t make you dirty. I know you. I’ve seen the little girl and the demon sorceress and the young woman and I love them all. Nothing can make you dirty.”
*****
The first night they made love they were in their room at Xavier’s school. The world was crashing down around them and they clung together. At some point in the night Kitty began kissing her friend. This time Illyana allowed it, reached up to stroke Kitty’s curls but that was all. The rest was all Kitty. There were no tricks, no advanced technique, just one girl and another girl coming together.
The first night they made love, Illyana cried.
*****
Kitty was in England when she heard that Illyana had died.
No.
Not died, just ceased to be. Every trace of her since the moment she had first disappeared into Limbo had been obliterated, cleansed from reality. She had never trained in the desert with that warped incarnation of Kitty Pryde called Cat. She had never been Belasco’s child mistress, she had never mastered the circles of light that carried her through time and space and dimensions.
Illyana Rasputin was seven years old again.
Kitty wanted to be happy for her. Better than anyone she knew how Illyana had suffered, what she had gone through in those years in Limbo. Wasn’t it a kindness, wasn’t it a mercy that she had a fresh start?
Yet Kitty could not be glad. She’d lost her best friend, her confidant, her onetime lover. As the grown-up Illyana had never existed she and Kitty had never told each other their secrets, never consoled each other, never kissed. The pain was gone, but the love was too.
That first night Kitty learned of Illyana’s fate she felt like a ghost in her own life, not just because of the insubstantial nature of her body.