Title: Such Great Heights
Author/Artist:
midnight_unitedFandom: Runaways
Pairing: Karolina/Nico (some Nico/Victor and Karolina/Xavin)
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Request: "this is how it should have been"
Summary: Nico's made all these protests before and Karolina's defended Xavin in all these ways before as well, and neither of them end up any better off than they were before. (2390 words)
"Will he always come between us?"
"Yes," said Ela. "Like a bridge, he'll come between us, not a wall."
-- Orson Scott Card, 'Speaker for the Dead'
Victor's arm is draped over her stomach right now, and she really can't breathe.
She nudges him a bit, tries to get him to move. It's to no avail, of course; she sighs and decides that it's just not worth the effort at three o'clock in the morning. His breath is warm on her neck, and with her free hand she strokes the side of his face gently, tracing a finger along his jaw. There's a strand of hair over his eyes; she brushes it away, smiling. Sometimes it's hard to remember that Victor isn't completely human, especially at times like this, where he seems like a normal teenage boy and she a normal teenage girl, and neither of them is a runaway or being hunted down by the government for being anti-registration.
It feels nice.
Victor, as if sensing her eyes on him, shifts, waking, and looks at her through his still half-closed eyes.
"What's wrong?" He mumbles, sleepily.
Nico shakes her head. "Nothing. Just thinking. You look so -- " she can't say human; she fumbles for a bit and then simple says, "-- peaceful."
Victor kisses her on the forehead. "So do you, you know," he says, and it gives Nico a comforting sort of feeling to hear him say that, though she's not exactly sure why. She wraps her arms around him, rolling over onto her side, and leans in, kissing him properly. His hand slides down to her thigh and his fingers moving in slow, light circles.
"Stop," she says, but she's smiling as she does so, and both of them know that she's only half-serious. "Really," she says, a moment later, as Victor's mouth moves to her neck and begins trailing kisses along it. "Sleep. I need it. We're going to New York tomorrow, remember?"
Victor sighs, but relents.
- - - - -
Xavin and Karolina sit in the back of the Leapfrog together, behind Chase and Molly. Nico's sitting up front with Victor, who's piloting, but she can see them out of the corner of her eye when she turns to talk to Victor. Their voices are too low for Nico to hear what they're saying, but she can see Karolina leaning against Xavin, who's running her fingers through the blond's hair absentmindedly, and almost out of instinct Nico reaches across the seats and takes Victor's hand in hers. It's too hurried, almost defensive, and Victor glances over at her curiously.
Nico dares a look back.
Karolina doesn't even seem to notice her at all, and Nico can't tell if that's really how things are or if Karolina's just putting on an act for Xavin. For everyone, really, and it bothers Nico that she's thinking about this a little more than she should. She focuses her eyes straight ahead and tries to think about the meeting with Kingpin that they're having tonight -- in a little less than four hours, actually, and she's almost sick with anxiety because of it -- but she can hear Karolina giggling in the back, probably at something Xavin said, and her stomach twists into a knot she knows isn't from nervousness.
"Are you okay?" Victor asks later, pulling her to the side while everyone else is getting changed to go meet Kingpin.
"I'm fine," Nico lies, reaching forward and adjusting Victor's necktie so that she doesn't have to meet his eyes. "It's just nerves, is all. I'm fine. You look nice," she comments, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear.
"So do you," he says, and leans in to kiss her.
She kisses him a bit more intensely than she should, tongue and all, because she knows Karolina will see them.
- - - - -
The meeting with Kingpin doesn't go exactly as planned.
Okay, that's an understatement if she ever heard one. The meeting with Kingpin all went to hell the minute he sat down with them, and for all Nico's magic and leadership skills that she'd managed to pick up over the last year and a half, she'd been completely useless. She just fell apart, under his cold, judgmental stare, and all the lines she'd practiced in the mirror, scowling, left her mind the moment he sat down.
Victor is angry with her.
He doesn't hide it at all, just keeps going on and on about how Nico was weak, about how she caved, about how that isn't what a leader should be like, as if Nico doesn't already know. He leaves for their room, slamming the door shut behind him. Nico doesn't follow him, just sits in the common room with everyone else, staring blankly at the floor. Chase makes an exaggerated throat-clearing sound, a lame attempt to break the awkward silence that has fallen. Molly says softly that she's going to go take a shower, and Karolina and Xavin quietly duck into the room that they're sharing to avoid having to say anything.
She sighs, and makes her exit, escaping to the roof.
It's cold outside, she realizes once she's up there, and she hasn't brought a jacket with her. She briefly considers going back down to get one, then thinks the better of it. She doesn't want to see them all looking at her, knowing that she blew the whole dinner with Kingpin. Besides, Victor's probably still angry at her, and she doesn't want to run the risk of bumping into him again this yet. Hopefully he'll be more agreeable later, when she slides into bed beside him and kisses him reassuringly. She crosses her fingers and hopes this will be the case.
"Cold?" A voice asks behind her, and then a jacket is being draped over her shoulders.
"Oh, hi Karolina," she says, pulling the jacket tighter around her, as the taller girl embraces her from behind. "Aren't you cold?"
"No, I'm good," Karolina says quietly with a smile, hugging her tighter.
They stand there for a bit, Nico clutching the jacket about her and Karolina clutching her. Karolina feels warm against her, warmer than a human would feel, she thinks, and she smiles and chalks it up to the fact that Karolina's solar-powered. She can hear the traffic down below, the steady hum of a busy city, but it's all very quiet up here, at least to her, and she's missed this, this quietness. And in Karolina's arms she feels safe. Protected. She feels it with Victor too, she won't deny that, but this is a different sort of feeling. She can't even explain it to herself. It just feels different.
So, of course, she has to ruin the moment.
"I suck," she says, glancing over at Karolina, who grins.
"No, you don't," she says, releasing Nico and taking a small step back. "Kingpin targeted you because you're the leader. You're always supposed to go after the leader first. I think it's like, a rule or something. That way it's easier to break down the rest of the team."
"Well, it worked," Nico says, feeling angry at herself again, staring down at the floor. "Everyone's mad at me now." She sighs. "I really shouldn't have let myself get us coerced into helping him like that."
Karolina shrugs. "The same thing could have happened to anyone else. Kingpin's powerful. And he knows how to manipulate people."
Nico forces a smile, trying to appear reassured.
And then, because she really is an idiot, she says, "I think Xavin has a crush on him."
She really should know better by now, not to discuss Xavin with Karolina. They always seem to end up fighting whenever she does, and that's exactly what happens here. Nico tries to broach the subject delicately, but she really doesn't know how to ask Karolina is her fiancé is really, actually, a girl, in a delicate way. Karolina defends Xavin (she always does) and then Nico has to backtrack and pretend like she really doesn't have any ulterior motives and that's she genuinely curious (which is a lie, of course, she loathes Xavin). But Nico's made all these protests before and Karolina's defended Xavin in all these ways before as well, and neither of them end up any better off than they were before.
Karolina flies off, upset. Nico falls to the ground in puts her face in her hands, telling herself it would be stupid and pointless to cry, even as she starts to.
- - - - -
If Karolina's still angry with her, she doesn't show it.
Well, that's a bit of a lie. She's not giving Nico the cold shoulder or sending death glares in her direction, but Nico can tell that Karolina still hasn't quite gotten over their argument yet. It's in the way she sits in the back of the Leapfrog, arms crossed, the way she keeps calling Xavin 'honey' or 'sweetie,' and how she keeps finding an excuse to touch Xavin as much as possible, usually when she sees Nico looking at them. Nico grits her teeth and grabs Victor's hand, squeezing it tightly. (She hopes Karolina will see.)
Nico finds it irritating that the thought of Karolina being angry at her bothers her more than the fact that Victor probably still is mad at her. But, she rationalizes, it's probably because she and Victor quarrel a lot more often than she does with Karolina. And Victor is, well, Victor. She has a much very less complicated history with him. They fight, they make up; it doesn't matter. But she's only just started to get close to Karolina again (back like how they were before, before Xavin), and now she's afraid that a stupid fight will just ruin it all, and she'll have to start all over again.
She hates Xavin for ruining things. And she hates herself for being petty and jealous.
But she hates Xavin more.
- - - - -
Trouble seems to follow them wherever they go.
One minute they're escaping from a fight between The Punisher and some weird, winged, freaky looking guy that they've never seen before, next they're fighting off ninjas working for Kingpin. Nico's on the roof, having already absorbed the Staff of One back into her body. She's helpless, defenseless. She doesn't notice one of the ninjas taking a swipe at her from behind. His sword cuts through her back; the pain is sharp and warm -- she can feel blood sliding down her back, and her first thought is that it's going to wreck her outfit.
"Didn't anybody brief them?" She says, gritting her teeth, staff now in hand.
She remembers casting a spell, but she's not sure what it was.
She remembers how sticky the blood felt on her back, remembers smiling and then falling. Someone is there to catch her; warm, strong hands gripping her, holding her upright. Karolina. In the back of her mind, she registers the fact that it's Karolina, not Victor, who's holding her; Karolina must not be angry with her any more.
In the back of the Leapfrog, she lies across the seats, trying not to black out so that she can cast a spell and heal herself.
"Give me a moment . . . " she moans, as Karolina strokes her hair. Nico can't really focus on anything else but that, despite Victor and Chase shouting about something up front. Something wet splashes against her cheek, and it occurs to her that Karolina is crying, that she's worried, and she manages a weak smile, to let the blond know that she's okay. And there's a foolish part of her that thinks, albeit somewhat bitterly, that if she ever wants to get Karolina's undivided attention, all she has to do is get herself seriously injured.
She's not sure whether the thought makes her want to cry or to laugh.
- - - - -
It's quiet in New York City, circa 1907.
Not completely, of course. There's always some activity going on outside, the sound drifting up from the streets and through the open windows. But it's much quieter now than it is in the future, and Nico thinks she can sort of understand now, why Karolina's so excited to be in the past. It's different and exciting, but it's simpler, too. She doesn't have to worry about Xavin or Victor or being a bad leader; she doesn't have to worry about anything else but getting back home.
Except, she can't sleep. She's used to sleeping in cities, where it's always loud no matter what time of the day it is. Victor, however, seems to have had no problem falling asleep; she can hear him snoring lightly a few beds over. (Molly had insisted boys slept on one side and girls on the other, and everyone else had been too worn out to argue.) Nico sighs and rolls over, looking across at where Karolina and Xavin are sleeping side by side, Xavin having shape-shifted into a girl to get around Molly's demands, much to Nico's annoyance.
She watches Karolina sleep, watches the way her chest rises and falls in slow, steady breaths. Her blond hair looks shiny and soft in the moonlight, and her fingers itch to touch her. Tentatively she reaches out a hand, runs her fingers lightly along down the length of Karolina's arm.
It's warm. Nico smiles.
Karolina stirs then, opening her eyes slowly, still half-asleep. Nico pulls her hand away quickly, and flushes with embarrassment as Karolina's eyes meet hers.
"Hey," Karolina mouths, and gives Nico a sleepy half-smile.
Nico smiles and mouths back, "Hey."
Their hands meet in the space between them.
Karolina's fingers intertwine with Nico's, and Nico has a moment of clarity right then, that this is how it will always be, the two of them always on opposite sides, always reaching out towards one another. They might find a way to bridge the difference between each other, but it'll only be for a moment. A thousand moments of just barely making it across and never any resolution. And it could have been perfect; it could have been something great. It should have been like this, the two of them together.
But Nico can hear Victor, and can see Xavin lying beside Karolina, and she's not sure if they'll ever be able to make that full leap across the distance that separates them.