Distance
Title: Distance
Chapters: 1/1
Author: yumemirunosekai
Pairing: Kame/Ueda (KameDa)
Rating: PG 13
Warnings: none
Synopsis: Ueda wonders about his place in Kame's life
A/N: Drabble. Enjoy n__n Based on this pic here.
"Good work today everyone!"
Ueda tilts his head upwards from the lying position he is currently in. Next to him, Koki and Junno clap their hands with tired calls of 'otsukare'. The photographer is packing his equipment, and the staff members are busy taking down the lighting and props.
Ueda stretches and sighs contentedly. The large mattress he was lying on is too comfortable to resist, and for the first time in a photoshoot, Ueda doesn't have the urge to want everything to be over and done with. Instead he stretches and purrs, tired but content and comfortable, letting his eyelids slide shut.
"Oi! Don't fall asleep here, guys!"
Ueda opens his eyes again to look at one of the staff member with an annoyed expression, but then he glances around and sees that he isn't the only one who decides to just sink into the softness of the mattress and not move.
"Just give us 10 minutes." Koki murmurs, sleepily, rubbing his eyes in the process. Ueda notes that Maru is already half asleep, using his arms to pillow his head.
Ueda scoffs and slinks back down. The fabric of the mattress and soft under his fingertips, and the sensation of it absently reminds him of the sheets of Kame's bed: smooth and silky. He has the creases and folds of Kame's mattress memorised, and it isn't surprising, seeing as he has spent a night too many, feeling the younger man's burning flesh against his; the feeling of the latter's nails as they rake seductively across his back.
Yes, the memories of those illicit meetings in the dead of the night, where Kame is pinned under him, against the soft bed is something Ueda tucks away, deep inside his heart. It's a strange secret to keep, since Ueda is sure the rest of KAT-TUN knows of his and Kame's 'relationship' - if it could be called a relationship - since neither him or the younger boy had actually stated on what grounds they were on at the moment.
What was Kame to him?
What was he to Kame?
Ueda wouldn't go so far as to call him his boyfriend. No. Much too cheesy. Lover perhaps? Ueda really isn't sure. Even though he and Kame and proceeded so quickly - a little too quickly for his liking - to third base, and more.
The soft breathing of Koki and Junno on either side of him tells him that they were both sound asleep. The staff were gone, probably in the break room, and they had so kindly turned off the lights, but this did little to the room, as the evening sunlight streamed in nicely through the skylight, straight down on the five members.
Ueda peers over Koki's curly head to Kame, only to see the younger man quietly breathing, his eyes closed and long lashes dusting his cheek. Ueda wonders how Kame can hardly try, yet look so flawless. He takes in Kame's light cop perish hair, and thinks that the colour has faded to look like that of the Ueda Tatsuya of 2009, maybe a little darker, but other than that, it was the same shade. Sometimes Ueda wishes his has his previous hair colour back. Kame liked it a lot - the younger man would curl his stubby fingers into the copper strands and leave it there, brushing Ueda's scalp tenderly.
Ueda tries to prop himself up on his elbows, but couldn't do so without waking Koki, and he knew that the rapper would not hesitate to throw a bitch fit if that happened. Koki did not like being woken up. Ueda curses quietly, frowning at the snoring man next to him. Now he just wants nothing better than to pick Koki up and throw him out of the way so that he can lie next to Kame - just like how it should be.
So he settles for looping his long arm over Koki's head - careful to not disturb him - and let his fingertips gently brush Kame's cheeks.
Of course Kame immediately opens his eyes, and they automatically find Ueda's dark ones, peering at him thoughtfully over Koki's curly head.
Ueda watches as Kame's mouthes a confused "Tat-chan?" to him questioningly, and he can't help the smile that creeps onto his lips. His eyes seem to glaze over as Kame reaches up to catch his fingertips in his own, and its sweet and soft. Ueda doesn't want to ruin the mood right now, so he merely takes Kame's hand and closes his eyes again.
Sometimes, even though he knows Kamenashi is next to him, he can't help but feel the distance between them, like an invisible line that he could never cross. So it is moments like these that he feels he is most intimate with Kame, even though they have been more intimate than this. Ueda wants to be something more to Kame, but in this line of work nothing was concrete, and Ueda didn't want to risk the relationship they currently share. So he is content with how they are; where they stand; and where his place is in Kame's life, and perhaps, perhaps one day, they could be more.
///
When Ueda opens his eyes, he finds himself staring straight into Kame's sleeping face. And he does't need to turn around to know that Koki is probably on his right side now, sound asleep.