And there's noone else to blame...

[yukinoomoni]

It's been a while, I know. But forgive me while I use this to vomit out all of my worst feelings, right now, to finally be free of them.

My pain is driving me crazy. I've been overdosing my THC oil very, very badly, and I feel the fool, because I'm already on so many meds. I'm so sick, and in so much pain, that it's making me realise how pointless I

Comments

[resonant]

Hooray! So glad to hear from you!

To be blunt, you do NOT want someone you love and share your life with to necessarily read everything you write. Writing reveals raw emotion, not tempered with reason at times, and you do not want to burn people with bare flames that, when tempered, are merely warm passion.

That is what your other friends are for, to read and share your work with; you can afford to have a few burnt away.

And if your current audience is not appreciative of your more creative works, that's what your other journals are for.

[yukinoomoni]

Jesus Christ, you still have that icon?!

Thank you so much for understanding, Res. I know things between the three of us have always been upside down, but I've honestly always enjoyed your input, whenever possible.

And friends... hahaha. Over the last year, I lost two very close friends, for something I never even did. I'm about to lose more, because I'm starting to run away, again, and I don't care. I know people don't really want to be my friend, and just like me for fanfics, but others want to help me, while they're too young. They want me to be open and honest, but every time I am, I regret it, and usually end up losing them not long after. It's better to lie, to pretend I'm not dying inside, than to trouble anyone with my problems.

[moiraj]

I can think of no good words to say to this, you've probably heard them all, so I'll limit myself to hoping that you'll catch a break and find yourself in a more supportive environment that enables you to feel some joy or contentment.

[yukinoomoni]

Honestly? I really appreciate the fact that, despite not knowing what to say, you still let me know you read it, and care enough to hope i get better. That is what i need, and i appreciate it very much. Thank you :)