Distance Brings You Closer Chapter 6
Title: Distance Brings You Closer (Chapter 6/?)
Author: yukinonamida
Genre: AU, Drama, Angst, Romance, Smut, Friendship
Pairing: Nishikato
Rating: R
Summary: Ryo and Shige were the best of friends until different stresses got to them and they began to grow apart. Ryo's constant verbal abuse to Shige only increases the distance between them, until they become lost in a dangerous relationship with each other. Different feelings begin to surface but is their once strong bond already destroyed beyond repair?
A/N: This chapter is safe~ The return of Koyamama's advice~
Previous Chapters:
( Chapter 1 )
( Chapter 2 )
( Chapter 3 )
( Chapter 4 )
( Chapter 5 )
Chapter 6: A New Friend Brings Much Needed Advice
December 2, 2008
It's really become almost like a routine, now. Everyday for a week or so now, I've gone into Ryo-chan's office and we've had sex there. I feel like it is something so wrong...but even so, I find myself at his door. He is very rough with me...I have marks everywhere. I can't stop though...I love him. I can't stop loving him, I can't stop wanting to kiss him, but....it hurts so much that he doesn't love me back. It hurts me that even though we do such things, he still treats me like garbage. I don't know what I should do...I-
"Yo~ Partner!"
Shige dropped his pen and shot his head back to where his co-worker, Koyama Keiichiro, was standing in the opening of his cubicle.
"Partner?" Shige asked curiously.
"Yeah!" Koyama exclaimed, a big smile on his face. "I just came back from Nishikido-san's office, and he told me we are going to work together on a big assignment starting today. Isn't that great?"
Shige smiled back at him. "Yeah, that's awesome." Koyama's smile was indeed contagious.
"So, I was thinking...we could work in the conference room. No one usually goes there, and there's a lot of paperwork involved, so it might be easier to spread it all out on the big table, ne? And it'll be pretty hard for both of us to fit in these small cubicles."
"Fine with me, it'll be nice to go into an open room, I can barely breathe in this thing." Shige agreed, logging off his computer and getting out of his chair.
"I know, right?" Koyama replied, still smiling, excited to work with someone. He hated being alone all day and not being able to talk to anyone.
Shige smiled as they walked towards the conference room and made small talk. Koyama was very sociable and easy to talk to. That's one thing he liked about Koyama. No matter what you had to say, he always listened and was always genuinely interested in what you had to say. Shige was always comfortable with him...Koyama just carried that aura. So Shige was excited to work with him and possibly get to know him better.
~~~
The day went extremely well. Koyama and Shige did more talking than actual work, but they couldn't help it. Koyama was a chatterbox after all. And, it seemed like they have quite a lot in common. They said their goodbyes at the end of the day and as usual, once everyone left the office, Shige walked to Ryo's office and knocked on the thick wooden door.
Shige was caught off guard when he saw Ryo open the door.
"Hey, you." Ryo smirked evilly.
"Uh..h-hi" Shige replied nervously.
Ryo turned away and walked towards his desk and sat on it, while Shige closed the door and began to walk over to him.
"...I'm leaving by the way." Ryo said bluntly.
Shige stopped and looked at him, confused. "What?"
"Tomorrow, I'm leaving on a business trip to China." Ryo responded.
"For how long?"
"Two weeks."
"Oh..." Shige looked down to his feet, fumbling with his fingers as his mood dropped drastically.
Ryo smirked again. "What, you're gonna miss me? Aww, how cute." he said, with heavy sarcasm dripping from his voice.
"Aren't you going to miss me?" Shige responded impulsively, but immediately bit his tongue, regretting asking such a stupid question.
Ryo laughed. "Probably not. I'll be busy with work, I probably won't even have time to think about you. Of course, there will be plenty of hot Chinese girls waiting to lend me a shoulder to cry on if I get too sad." Ryo pouted mockingly.
"Whatever, have a good trip. I'll see you when you get back." Shige said quietly as the familiar pain returned to his chest. It was nothing out of the ordinary, though. Ryo constantly said things that hurt Shige. But this time, it was worse.
Ryo jumped off the desk and walked over to Shige. "What, I don't even get a goodbye kiss?"
Ryo cupped Shige's face and kissed him aggressively. Normally, this would be the start of their "activities", but today, the kiss only increased the pain in Shige's heart and he pushed Ryo away.
"No..." Shige muttered, stepping away.
Ryo furrowed his eyebrows angrily. "What do you mean 'no'?"
"I gotta go, I'll see you in 2 weeks." With that, Shige walked out the door.
Ryo would've stopped him, but his feet brought him nowhere. Once again, he drowned himself in hatred for running his mouth off again with venomous lies. He stared longingly at the door and realized just how much he was ruining their relationship.
He fell back aganst his desk, leaning on the edge. I lied, Shige. I will miss you, but what's the point in telling you that?
~~~
During the next two weeks, Shige didn't look at Ryo's door. He tried his best not to think of him, but it was pointless. His heart broke with every passing moment as he imagined Ryo hanging on some slutty girls in a club somewhere. His heart broke whenever he thought that Ryo probably isn't even thinking about him. His heart broke as he realized just how much he missed Ryo's touch.
On the bright side, Shige and Koyama grew unbelievably close during this time. They went out to dinner a few nights after work, they worked together on the assignment, they talked and laughed, everything Shige had missed doing. When they were together, it was as if they had known each other for ages.
The day before Ryo returned, Shige became increasingly worried and hurt about their whole situation. He couldn't sleep as Ryo's hurtful words echoed in his utterly confused mind. He did not want to give up on Ryo, but it was becoming increasingly hard for him to deal with things. He needed someone to talk to, so he hesitantly decided to talk to Koyama about it. That night, when they were having tea in Koyama's house, Shige brought it up.
"Ano..Kei-chan..can I talk to you?" Shige asked shakily.
Koyama became worried at the way Shige asked him so put his cup down and sat next to Shige on the couch.
"Sure, what's wrong?" Koyama asked gently.
Shige looked into his reassuring eyes and bit his lip.
"You..you know Nishikido-san? Well...he's kinda my best friend. Or, he used to be." Shige muttered nervously.
Koyama half-smiled. "Really? That's cool. But what's with the 'used to be' part? You two have a fight or something?"
"Sort of...do you remember when he got promoted from being in our department to the other position?"
"Yeah."
"Around that time, he started being really cold to me. He rejected my offers to go out to dinner and would barely talk to me."
"Oh.." Koyama looked at him sympathetically. "That must've hurt so much to have your friend do that to you."
"Yeah...and then the day he became our boss, he told me to call him Nishikido-san and that our relationship was to be strictly professional from that day forward."
"Eh? That doesn't make any sense. Doesn't he know that a boss and employee can be friends and still be productive?"
"That's what I thought. He was a jerk to me, and he ripped up my assignment that I worked hard on and told me to do it over. So I stayed up all night and re-did it and he threw it at me telling me to do it again."
"That's horrible!" Koyama exclaimed, furrowing his eyebrows. "Wait, was that the assignment I helped you with?"
"Yeah. And then! It still wasn't enough, and he told me to do it again! We got into a fight, and then..." Shige froze.
Koyama looked at him, concerned as he wrapped his arm around Shige's shoulder. "It's okay, tell me. What happened?"
"He kissed me."
"What?!" Koyama opened his eyes widely. "What'd you do?"
"I tried to push him away, but...it was no use."
"What did he do to you afterwards? Did he go any farther than that?" Koyama asked, but already could predict the answer from the look on Shige's painstricken face.
Shige nodded.
Koyama shifted him so they were face to face and looked at him firmly. "He didn't...rape you did he?"
Shige's eyes widened and he shook his head. "No! No...I was...willing to do everything..." Shige said shakily.
"Huh?" Koyama questioned gently.
"You see, Kei-chan...Ryo-chan and I were friends for a long time before this happened. And...during that time I fell in love with him."
Koyama backed away slowly. "Shige..." he said shaking his head. "No matter what you feel about him, you can't just let him do that to you."
"I know, but....I can never stop him...I want it too much."
"Wait...it happened again after that?"
"Yeah, everyday for about a week...but then he left."
"Did he ever say he liked you?"
"No...I...I don't know why he keeps wanting to do it. He is still mean to me...and rough with me."
"Shige, this isn't right. You're letting him take advantage of your love so he can get what he wants."
"But...I want it too..."
"No...you're doing it because you're desperate for him to love you back."
Shige's face grew pale as he realized what Koyama had just said. It was true.
"Am I right?" Koyama aksed as he rubbed Shige's back to comfort him.
"I guess...but I do want to kiss him, I do want to be with him..."
"But, do you want him to yell at you and be rough with you?
"Of course not..."
"Shige...this is going to hurt you in the long run...he doesn't love you back so you need to move on. Do you really want to love him one-sidedly for the rest of your life?"
"No...but in a way I would be okay with loving him one-sidedly...I would be happy if we could just be friends again. I just want him to talk to me!" Shige said as tears welled up in his eyes.
"What you are doing now is hurting that chance. Things are becoming too complicated between you two."
"I know...but what should I do?"
"If I were you I would go back to the way it was before he kissed you. You've done all you can to save your friendship...now it's his turn. If it really means something to him, he'll come back to you."
"But if he doesn't?"
"Then you have to ask yourself if he was really your friend in the first place."
"I feel like if I do that, then I am giving up on him. He is going through some things and I want to be there for him."
"Shige, you're letting him deal with his problems in the wrong way and it is hurting you both. Maybe he needs some space...and by giving him that space, you will be doing him a favor. He needs to sort out his decisions on his own. It's not giving up on him, it's giving him some time."
Shige let all his emotions loose and began to cry, hugging Koyama for support. Koyama smiled and hugged him back.
"I miss him so much, Kei-chan....I want him to be my Ryo-chan again. I want him to kiss me because he loves me, not like he wants to devour me."
"I know, I know it hurts..." Koyama rubbed his back. "It's going to continue to hurt, but you have to be strong for him. Just believe in him, and your Ryo-chan will come back to you. Just have faith in him...hmm?"
"Thank you...for helping me."
Koyama smiled. "No problem. That's what friends are for, ne?"
Shige cried into Koyama's shoulder for an hour afterwards. The pain grew worse, the longing became stronger, and tears continued to flow. It would be hard giving Ryo space...to resist him. But Shige knew Koyama was right...what they've been doing was shattering their once healthy relationship.
Shige held onto one thing close to his heart. And that was Hope. Hope that soon enough, the distance between them would bring them closer.
A/N: Hopefully you liked this chap ^^ it brought things together, and Shige realized that as much as he enjoyed being with Ryo...it wasn't the right thing to do.
Comments! Tell me what you liked, hated, loved, etc. ^^
<3 you all~
And the first chap to the sequel to Some Things Never Change will be out later tonight hopefully ^^.
Author: yukinonamida
Genre: AU, Drama, Angst, Romance, Smut, Friendship
Pairing: Nishikato
Rating: R
Summary: Ryo and Shige were the best of friends until different stresses got to them and they began to grow apart. Ryo's constant verbal abuse to Shige only increases the distance between them, until they become lost in a dangerous relationship with each other. Different feelings begin to surface but is their once strong bond already destroyed beyond repair?
A/N: This chapter is safe~ The return of Koyamama's advice~
Previous Chapters:
( Chapter 1 )
( Chapter 2 )
( Chapter 3 )
( Chapter 4 )
( Chapter 5 )
Chapter 6: A New Friend Brings Much Needed Advice
December 2, 2008
It's really become almost like a routine, now. Everyday for a week or so now, I've gone into Ryo-chan's office and we've had sex there. I feel like it is something so wrong...but even so, I find myself at his door. He is very rough with me...I have marks everywhere. I can't stop though...I love him. I can't stop loving him, I can't stop wanting to kiss him, but....it hurts so much that he doesn't love me back. It hurts me that even though we do such things, he still treats me like garbage. I don't know what I should do...I-
"Yo~ Partner!"
Shige dropped his pen and shot his head back to where his co-worker, Koyama Keiichiro, was standing in the opening of his cubicle.
"Partner?" Shige asked curiously.
"Yeah!" Koyama exclaimed, a big smile on his face. "I just came back from Nishikido-san's office, and he told me we are going to work together on a big assignment starting today. Isn't that great?"
Shige smiled back at him. "Yeah, that's awesome." Koyama's smile was indeed contagious.
"So, I was thinking...we could work in the conference room. No one usually goes there, and there's a lot of paperwork involved, so it might be easier to spread it all out on the big table, ne? And it'll be pretty hard for both of us to fit in these small cubicles."
"Fine with me, it'll be nice to go into an open room, I can barely breathe in this thing." Shige agreed, logging off his computer and getting out of his chair.
"I know, right?" Koyama replied, still smiling, excited to work with someone. He hated being alone all day and not being able to talk to anyone.
Shige smiled as they walked towards the conference room and made small talk. Koyama was very sociable and easy to talk to. That's one thing he liked about Koyama. No matter what you had to say, he always listened and was always genuinely interested in what you had to say. Shige was always comfortable with him...Koyama just carried that aura. So Shige was excited to work with him and possibly get to know him better.
~~~
The day went extremely well. Koyama and Shige did more talking than actual work, but they couldn't help it. Koyama was a chatterbox after all. And, it seemed like they have quite a lot in common. They said their goodbyes at the end of the day and as usual, once everyone left the office, Shige walked to Ryo's office and knocked on the thick wooden door.
Shige was caught off guard when he saw Ryo open the door.
"Hey, you." Ryo smirked evilly.
"Uh..h-hi" Shige replied nervously.
Ryo turned away and walked towards his desk and sat on it, while Shige closed the door and began to walk over to him.
"...I'm leaving by the way." Ryo said bluntly.
Shige stopped and looked at him, confused. "What?"
"Tomorrow, I'm leaving on a business trip to China." Ryo responded.
"For how long?"
"Two weeks."
"Oh..." Shige looked down to his feet, fumbling with his fingers as his mood dropped drastically.
Ryo smirked again. "What, you're gonna miss me? Aww, how cute." he said, with heavy sarcasm dripping from his voice.
"Aren't you going to miss me?" Shige responded impulsively, but immediately bit his tongue, regretting asking such a stupid question.
Ryo laughed. "Probably not. I'll be busy with work, I probably won't even have time to think about you. Of course, there will be plenty of hot Chinese girls waiting to lend me a shoulder to cry on if I get too sad." Ryo pouted mockingly.
"Whatever, have a good trip. I'll see you when you get back." Shige said quietly as the familiar pain returned to his chest. It was nothing out of the ordinary, though. Ryo constantly said things that hurt Shige. But this time, it was worse.
Ryo jumped off the desk and walked over to Shige. "What, I don't even get a goodbye kiss?"
Ryo cupped Shige's face and kissed him aggressively. Normally, this would be the start of their "activities", but today, the kiss only increased the pain in Shige's heart and he pushed Ryo away.
"No..." Shige muttered, stepping away.
Ryo furrowed his eyebrows angrily. "What do you mean 'no'?"
"I gotta go, I'll see you in 2 weeks." With that, Shige walked out the door.
Ryo would've stopped him, but his feet brought him nowhere. Once again, he drowned himself in hatred for running his mouth off again with venomous lies. He stared longingly at the door and realized just how much he was ruining their relationship.
He fell back aganst his desk, leaning on the edge. I lied, Shige. I will miss you, but what's the point in telling you that?
~~~
During the next two weeks, Shige didn't look at Ryo's door. He tried his best not to think of him, but it was pointless. His heart broke with every passing moment as he imagined Ryo hanging on some slutty girls in a club somewhere. His heart broke whenever he thought that Ryo probably isn't even thinking about him. His heart broke as he realized just how much he missed Ryo's touch.
On the bright side, Shige and Koyama grew unbelievably close during this time. They went out to dinner a few nights after work, they worked together on the assignment, they talked and laughed, everything Shige had missed doing. When they were together, it was as if they had known each other for ages.
The day before Ryo returned, Shige became increasingly worried and hurt about their whole situation. He couldn't sleep as Ryo's hurtful words echoed in his utterly confused mind. He did not want to give up on Ryo, but it was becoming increasingly hard for him to deal with things. He needed someone to talk to, so he hesitantly decided to talk to Koyama about it. That night, when they were having tea in Koyama's house, Shige brought it up.
"Ano..Kei-chan..can I talk to you?" Shige asked shakily.
Koyama became worried at the way Shige asked him so put his cup down and sat next to Shige on the couch.
"Sure, what's wrong?" Koyama asked gently.
Shige looked into his reassuring eyes and bit his lip.
"You..you know Nishikido-san? Well...he's kinda my best friend. Or, he used to be." Shige muttered nervously.
Koyama half-smiled. "Really? That's cool. But what's with the 'used to be' part? You two have a fight or something?"
"Sort of...do you remember when he got promoted from being in our department to the other position?"
"Yeah."
"Around that time, he started being really cold to me. He rejected my offers to go out to dinner and would barely talk to me."
"Oh.." Koyama looked at him sympathetically. "That must've hurt so much to have your friend do that to you."
"Yeah...and then the day he became our boss, he told me to call him Nishikido-san and that our relationship was to be strictly professional from that day forward."
"Eh? That doesn't make any sense. Doesn't he know that a boss and employee can be friends and still be productive?"
"That's what I thought. He was a jerk to me, and he ripped up my assignment that I worked hard on and told me to do it over. So I stayed up all night and re-did it and he threw it at me telling me to do it again."
"That's horrible!" Koyama exclaimed, furrowing his eyebrows. "Wait, was that the assignment I helped you with?"
"Yeah. And then! It still wasn't enough, and he told me to do it again! We got into a fight, and then..." Shige froze.
Koyama looked at him, concerned as he wrapped his arm around Shige's shoulder. "It's okay, tell me. What happened?"
"He kissed me."
"What?!" Koyama opened his eyes widely. "What'd you do?"
"I tried to push him away, but...it was no use."
"What did he do to you afterwards? Did he go any farther than that?" Koyama asked, but already could predict the answer from the look on Shige's painstricken face.
Shige nodded.
Koyama shifted him so they were face to face and looked at him firmly. "He didn't...rape you did he?"
Shige's eyes widened and he shook his head. "No! No...I was...willing to do everything..." Shige said shakily.
"Huh?" Koyama questioned gently.
"You see, Kei-chan...Ryo-chan and I were friends for a long time before this happened. And...during that time I fell in love with him."
Koyama backed away slowly. "Shige..." he said shaking his head. "No matter what you feel about him, you can't just let him do that to you."
"I know, but....I can never stop him...I want it too much."
"Wait...it happened again after that?"
"Yeah, everyday for about a week...but then he left."
"Did he ever say he liked you?"
"No...I...I don't know why he keeps wanting to do it. He is still mean to me...and rough with me."
"Shige, this isn't right. You're letting him take advantage of your love so he can get what he wants."
"But...I want it too..."
"No...you're doing it because you're desperate for him to love you back."
Shige's face grew pale as he realized what Koyama had just said. It was true.
"Am I right?" Koyama aksed as he rubbed Shige's back to comfort him.
"I guess...but I do want to kiss him, I do want to be with him..."
"But, do you want him to yell at you and be rough with you?
"Of course not..."
"Shige...this is going to hurt you in the long run...he doesn't love you back so you need to move on. Do you really want to love him one-sidedly for the rest of your life?"
"No...but in a way I would be okay with loving him one-sidedly...I would be happy if we could just be friends again. I just want him to talk to me!" Shige said as tears welled up in his eyes.
"What you are doing now is hurting that chance. Things are becoming too complicated between you two."
"I know...but what should I do?"
"If I were you I would go back to the way it was before he kissed you. You've done all you can to save your friendship...now it's his turn. If it really means something to him, he'll come back to you."
"But if he doesn't?"
"Then you have to ask yourself if he was really your friend in the first place."
"I feel like if I do that, then I am giving up on him. He is going through some things and I want to be there for him."
"Shige, you're letting him deal with his problems in the wrong way and it is hurting you both. Maybe he needs some space...and by giving him that space, you will be doing him a favor. He needs to sort out his decisions on his own. It's not giving up on him, it's giving him some time."
Shige let all his emotions loose and began to cry, hugging Koyama for support. Koyama smiled and hugged him back.
"I miss him so much, Kei-chan....I want him to be my Ryo-chan again. I want him to kiss me because he loves me, not like he wants to devour me."
"I know, I know it hurts..." Koyama rubbed his back. "It's going to continue to hurt, but you have to be strong for him. Just believe in him, and your Ryo-chan will come back to you. Just have faith in him...hmm?"
"Thank you...for helping me."
Koyama smiled. "No problem. That's what friends are for, ne?"
Shige cried into Koyama's shoulder for an hour afterwards. The pain grew worse, the longing became stronger, and tears continued to flow. It would be hard giving Ryo space...to resist him. But Shige knew Koyama was right...what they've been doing was shattering their once healthy relationship.
Shige held onto one thing close to his heart. And that was Hope. Hope that soon enough, the distance between them would bring them closer.
A/N: Hopefully you liked this chap ^^ it brought things together, and Shige realized that as much as he enjoyed being with Ryo...it wasn't the right thing to do.
Comments! Tell me what you liked, hated, loved, etc. ^^
<3 you all~
And the first chap to the sequel to Some Things Never Change will be out later tonight hopefully ^^.