It all Started with a Photoshoot, chapter 4 (LAST chapter!)
Title: It all started with a Photoshoot (Chapter 4/4)
Pairing: Nishikato
Genre: Romance/Angst
Rating: PG-13 for this chapter (language)
Summary: It was a normal day in the life of Kato Shigeaki. Nothing new had happened at work, and it was becoming dull. But today, the director ordered the NewS members to style eachothers outfits for the photoshoot. Nishikido Ryo was in charge of styling Shige, but things got awkward when Ryo started to feel something he had never felt before for another guy, and things elevated from there. Ryo's not shocked, he always gets what he wants. But what will happen when Shige's ex-girlfriend wants to get back together with him? *I fail at summaries*
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4: The truth
Yamapi, Koyama and Tegoshi got excited and ran over to where Massu was waving it. Shige and Ryo followed slowly behind.
"Oooh see Koyama! You look great!!" Massu exclaimed, pointing at the Koyama's page.
"....Let's turn the page, I..I don't want to be reminded about that outfit..." Koyama said, making a disgusted face and turning his face.
Tegoshi ripped the magazine out of his hands
"Na, Yamapi, look how sexy you look!!" Tegoshi said smiling, pointing at Yamapi's page.
"Ehh..." Pi grabbed the magazine now. "Na, Ryo-chan! You look kakkoii, ne?"
"Eh? Uh..sure, thanks." Ryo said, and looked away.
"Oh and uh, Tegoshi and Massu, you look great too!!" Pi said, flipping through the magazine.
"Hey! Don't just pass by us!!" Tegoshi and Massu said, simultaneously and angrily.
"Where's Shige-kun?~" Pi said, flipping through the pages, ignoring them.
"Ah, here he is!"
The picture sent shivers down Shige's and Ryo's backs.
"Wow, you look good Shige!" Tegoshi said, still smiling.
You have nice style, Ryo!" Massu said, not realizing the awkward atmosphere.
"Na, these clothes weren't on the racks...If they were I would have picked them.."Koyama said, confused.
"Y-Yeah they were, they were there, you..y-you just didn't look hard enough." Ryo said, nervously.
"Isn't that your shir-"
"No!" Ryo snapped.
The 4 of them continued to praise Shige's picture and the rest of the magazine. Shige and Ryo both glanced at eachother. Their eyes met, and they felt a million different emotions. The voices began to get lower and lower, until they were inaudible. Shige snapped out of it, and looked away. He started to walk closer to where the others were standing, but he was stopped by Ryo's hand on his arm. Ryo pulled him out of the room, past staff members, up the stairs, and into one of the dark, abandoned hallways. Ryo stopped, and faced Shige.
"N-Nishikido-kun,..what are you doing?"
Ryo ignored the question. He pulled Shige closer, putting his arms around him and hugging him tightly. He closed his eyes slowly and cautiously placed his head on Shige's shoulder. His heart beat rapidly but painfully as he smelled Shige's scent...the scent he had missed so much. He felt Shige's warmth...the warmth he had been missing every second. He felt knives stabbing into his chest.
Shige was surprised, and he knew this shouldn't be happening....but he couldn't describe how good it felt to be in Ryo's arms again...to be close to him...Shige closed his eyes, unbearable pain throbbing in his heart. Why is he doing this?
Shige...Shige I know...I know we can't be together...but...just let me stay like this for a minute okay? Let me memorize this feeling...and then I'll be okay...I..I promise. Ryo wanted to say this...but no words escaped his trembling lips.
Shige just stood there, his face against Ryo's shoulder, tears streaming down his cheeks. They had hugged so many times....but this time was different. They were both fragile, hearts clinging on to each other, both sinking in the weight of all the things they couldn't say to eachother.
I wish I could make this moment last forever...Ryo thought. But he knew it had to come to an end. He inhaled slowly and pulled away, giving up once and for all his dependancy on the feeling he felt when he held Shige. He pulled back, and looked into Shige's eyes, moving his lips to his forehead. He exhaled deeply and kissing him lightly on the forehead before completely pulling apart and walking away, tears falling uncontrollably with each step he took.
Shige collapsed onto the floor. The tears in his heart began to overflow. Nails were driving into his chest. He put his knees up and buried his face in his hands, and he cried. When Ryo embraced him, he had felt a feeling in his heart....the feeling he had been missing every moment since he broke up with Ryo. But in a blink of an eye, that feeling disappeared, and here he was again, feeling empty and lonely, looking towards where Ryo's shadow had disappeared into the distance.
****
The next day at work:
"Na, Ryo-chan...you were so boring last night. You didn't even look at any of the girls.." Yamapi said, disappointed.
"I didn't feel like it..."
"Ahhh ahh~, well then will you feel like it tonight?"
"Probably not. It's not as fun anymore..."
"W-What?" Yamapi stared in horror at what Ryo had just said.
"I mean...haven't you ever wanted to just date one person?"
"Ryo-chan, you know we're not allowed to do that."
"Secretly, I mean..."
"This is coming from the guy whose mind puts women before food? A-are you feeling all right?" Yamapi put his hand to Ryo's forehead before Ryo pushed it away.
"Forget it.....It's nothing."
Shige overheard the conversation and looked over at Ryo, confused. Did he seriously just say fhat fooling around isn't fun anymore? Maybe...maybe he's changing...maybe...he hugged me yesterday beca-
"Shige kuuuuuuuun~~!!!!!" Kyoko screamed, running over to Shige
"Kyoko? What are you doing here?" Shige asked, in surprise. "How did you even get in here?"
"It doesn't matter! I missed you!!" Kyoko said as she grabbed Shige and kissed him.
Ryo shut his eyes, hoping that if he stopped looking, the pain of seeing what he just saw would go away...
"Kyoko, not here!" Shige said, gasping for air.
"Fine! You're so uptight sweetie~~ Don't worry, I'll loosen you up later!" She giggled.
Ryo couldn't take it...he hated this girl. And he hated the thought of what she meant by "loosening him up"'....
"Ooh who is this hottie?" Kyoko said, eyeing Ryo. "Well, he's not as hot as you, puppy," Kyoko looked at Shige and then back to Ryo. "but WOW!"
"T-Thats uh...he's Nishikido Ryo, my uh..bandmate." Not liking the idea that Kyoko was looking at Ryo, of all people.
She walked over to Ryo.
"Ahh, Ryo-kun~"
Ryo lost it.
"First of all, don't fucking call me that shit like you know me. I don't know you, nor do I want to GET to know you. Second of all, you're dating HIM. Not me. So stop trying to flirt with me you fucking slut. Yes, you guessed it. I don't like you. At all. So fuck off, bitch." Ryo snapped, and he walked out the door.
"W-w-w-what w-w-was t-t-that??" Kyoko stuttered, frightened.
"Uhh...excuse him, ne?~ He's got a bad temper. Don't take it personal" Yamapi said, trying to apologize.
Shige was pissed about what Ryo just said. He ran out the door, and chased after Ryo.
"Oi! Nishikido-kun!" Shige finally caught up to him, and Ryo turned around.
"What the hell do you want?" Ryo said, still fuming from what just happened.
"Why did you just yell at my girlfriend like that?"
"Didn't you see what she just did? She fucking just started flirting with me. Right in front of your face! What did you expect me to do? Just stand there and flirt back?"
"She was just being friendly. And..well I wouldn't be surprised if you started started hitting on her. I mean, she's a girl. Any girl's fine, right?"
"That was NOT being friendly! Shige, I don't trust this girl. I think she might like me. And no, actually, any girl's not fine. I don't flirt with my friends' girlfriends."
"Oh so now I'm your friend? A month ago, you didn't even want to be seen drinking with me. And for your information, I don't need your approval of the girl I date. She doesn't like you, she didn't even know who you were until a few moments ago."
"Shige, be realistic. What young girl in Japan doesn't know who I am? And about the drinking thing...you said you didn't want to go! And besides, if the paparazzi got a picture of you crying near me, it would be all over the tabloids. I can see it now. 'Nishikido Ryo makes bandmate cry with his poison tongue!" Or some shit like that."
"Oh, so I'd ruin your reputation again, is that it? What would you have done if they got a picture of you making out with some dirty slut on your lap?"
"Wh-What?" Ryo's eyes widened "H-how did yo-"
"N-Never mind that. I don't care if you don't trust Kyoko. I do. So don't be rude to her." Shige said, and then walked away quickly.
How did he know about that?
For the next few days, Kyoko would come to where they worked. And everyday, after clinging onto Shige for a few minutes, Kyoko would continue to act "friendly" towards Ryo. Ryo wanted to punch her, but he didn't want to upset Shige again.
"Ryo-kuuuun~ Why are you so quiet today?" Kyoko whined, clinging to his arm.
Ryo shook her off and moved away.
"I don't feel like talking."
"Awww our wittle Ryo is sad?"
"Kyoko..." Shige said, trying to urge her to stop, but she didn't listen.
"Don't worry baby, I'll handle this." She said to Shige. "What's wrong, Ryo?"
"Don't call me Ryo. I don't even let my friends call me that. I don't even know you, so I sure as hell am not going to allow you to." Ryo snapped, and he walked out the door.
Kyoko stomped her feet, getting angry like a 2 year old. And then she got an idea.
"Ne, Shige-kun...where's the bathroom?" Kyoko aked.
"Um, if you take a right out this door it's the second door on the left."
"Thanks!" She said as she ran out the door.
Damnit, this girl won't stop. Ryo thought, standing against the wall near the bathrooms.
"Ohh, Ryo-kun, here you are!"
Ryo turned angrily to Kyoko, who was skipping over to him.
"What are you stalking me now?"
"Of course not!"
She stopped in front of Ryo, a little too close to him. She pinned him against the wall and started getting closer....
**
"Na, Shige, you better go out there, you wouldn't want her to run into Nishikido-kun." Koyama said, worried.
"Yeah, you're right." Shige stood up, and walked towards the door. He turned to the right, and froze.
Kyoko had Ryo pinned against the wall, and she kissed him, aggressively. After a moment, Ryo freed himself from the hold she had on him and pushed her away, against the opposite wall.
"What the FUCK?!" Ryo screamed, rage in his eyes.
"Ryo-kun...don't be mad at me...I did it because I like you...couldn't you tell? I even got back with that loser Shige so I could get closer to yo-"
"Loser?! Listen here you fucking slutty bitch. I don't give a shit what you think about me. You don't know how lucky you are to be given the chance to be with him. If you can't realize that, then you don't deserve to be with a guy like Shige. Don't show your disgusting face around us ever again!"
A security guard came over and escorted her away. Shige stared in horror at what just happened. He turned back into the room and Koyama, who heard the whole thing, threw his arms around Shige, and comforted him.
Ryo punched the wall. Damnit...Damn you, you stupid girl...why...why did you have to hurt him again?...Ryo cringed as he imagined Shige crying over her. "Damnit..."
Shige spent the next 10minutes talking to the guys, and he decided it was for the best that Kyoko was out of the picture again. Shige was disappointed, but he had never even begun to give his heart to her again. He could kinda tell they were both not in the relationship for the right reasons. And he was stupid to not realize what Ryo had told him about her flirting with him too easily. Wait...Ryo...He had never come back into the room. Shige walked out the door, and saw Ryo standing, eyes closed with his chest facing the wall, leaning his arm on it.
Shige just looked at him....Ryo had stood up for him...had defended him...had seen what he had been blind to...Do you really love me deep in your heart?
Shige stepped slowly and cautiously towards him.
"Umm..Nishikido-kun?"
There was no answer, but Shige continued to talk.
"Hey...uh...I should have believed you...I'm sorry....a-and...uh..th-thanks...for...for sticking up for me just now..." Shige said, heart beginning to beat a little more quickly.
Still no answer from Ryo. The silence continued for a few minutes.
"....A-Ano, listen, Nishikido-kun, I know our relationship is awkward...but we're bandmates..we have to figure out how to be friends. H-how... um....H-how about...I make you dinner tonight...to...to thank you for today...hmm?" Shige said, nervously, and tilted his head at the last part.
After a few moments, Ryo responded.
"....I guess..." Ryo mumbled quietly, and he looked up at Shige. "A-Are you okay? You know..after what just happened?"
"Huh? Oh..yeah...I'm fine. I sort of knew it was too good to be true. I can't really be mad at her...I wasn't in the relationship for the right reasons either..."
"...Huh?" Ryo asked, puzzled.
"..Eh..N-n-never mind. L-Let's go, ne?"
They both walked silently to the parking garage.
What did he mean when he said he wasn't in the relationship for the right reason? Then why was he with her?
Ryo and Shige both drove separately to Shige's apartment building. They arrived at the same time, but neither spoke to eachother on the walk to his apartment. Shige was shaking as he inserted his key and turned it slowly, opening the door. They both walked in and took off their shoes. Shige hurried into the kitchen. Ryo stood still, looking around at the place where they used to spend every night together. Nothing had changed. He walked slowly towards the couch, looking at how everything was in the same place. He sat on the couch, and immediately memories flowed into him. This is the place he used to sit, arms around Shige, making out with him before they made their way into his bedroom. His heart sunk. A wave of loneliness and hurt came over him. He turned to Shige, who was cutting vegetables, with his back turned away from Ryo. Ryo just stares at him, desperately. He wished they could be like this everyday.
He had fantasized about them everyday. Imagined them coming home from work, Ryo watching TV or playing a video game while Shige was preparing dinner. They would sit at the table, and Ryo would tease Shige saying the food was gross, but then eating all of his and also Shige's leftovers to show him that he actually really enjoyed it. They would wash the dishes together, Shige would wash, and Ryo would dry. Every once in a while Shige would shyly look at Ryo from the corner of his eye and spray him with the sink sprayer. Ryo would get angry, but Shige would look at him, eyes smiling, and he would start to laugh, making Ryo laugh as well. On Friday nights, they would sit down on the couch together and watch a an old movie, eating a big bowl of popcorn. Shige would see a deep meaning in the movie, and would start to cry, but Ryo on the other hand would just laugh at the styles people wore back then. Afterwards, they would be in bed, Shige reading or writing, and Ryo complaining for him to turn the light off, and Shige would just laugh and tell him "I'm almost done~".
This is what he had fantasized about..not sex. Of course, Ryo wanted it, a lot. After all, he always thought relationships were all about satisfying physical needs. But he slowly realized that what he wants with Shige the most are these little things, these things that seem so miniscule and yet are so important. All he wanted was to be with Shige...forever.
They ate dinner, and barely said a word to eachother. When they did, it was work-related.
"Shige, can I help you with the dishes?" Ryo asked, trying to help.
"Uh, no, it's okay Nishikido-kun, I can handle it. Why don't you see what's on TV. I shouldn't take long, I'll catch up."
Shige gathered up all the dishes and brought them into the kitchen. Ryo watched TV for a little bit, and looked over at Shige, who was still washing.
Without thinking, Ryo got up and walked into the kitchen. Shige noticed his presence, but never turned his head to look at him. He turned off the water, and stood facing the wall. Why is he here? He heard footsteps and felt Ryo coming closer and closer. His heart began to beat rapidly and his hands began to tremble. He could feel Ryo behind him. Ryo wrapped his arms wrapped around Shige from the back, closing his eyes and pressing his left cheek against Shige's head, holding him more tightly.
Shivers ran up Shige's back as he felt Ryo's warm chest against his back, warm breath against his ear. Shige closed his eyes as well and his breathing began to quicken.
"Shige...Shige what did I do wrong?....Why did you break up with me?" Ryo asked gently, on the verge of tears.
"Nishikido-kun.." Shige opened his eyes and tried to loosen Ryo's grip. It was no use. "Nishikido-kun, I...told you to find someone else...why do you keep coming back to me?"
"Shige, you baka...you told me to find someone else. You told me to leave you alone...but my feet led me nowhere.....Shige...please just tell me what I did.."
Shige turned slightly to the left. It was extremely difficult to say, but Shige felt the sincerity in Ryo's voice. "I...I thought you just wanted me for the sex...and that night you and Yamapi went to the club, I saw you there, with 2 girls, and...I figured that's what you saw me as..another toy to play with..."
Ryo opened his eyes and lifted his head "You saw me there? Oh God Shige, I was drunk...and I was upset over what happened in work, and those gir-" Ryo stopped, and shut his eyes hard due to the pain in his heart he felt once he realized how Shige must have felt when he saw him that night....
He gently layed the right side of his face on Shige's left shoulder. "....I'm sorry..." he said in a weak, raspy voice.
A few moments passed.. "..Shige...it was never just about the sex for me..I...I'm-" Ryo stopped and sighed. "Shige..I..I'm in love with you..."
Shige froze, and he didn't know exactly why, but tears overflowed from his eyes. Ryo let go of him and turned him around to face eachother. Ryo realized he was crying and with both hands he wiped away the tears. "Shige don't cry...please don't cry baby, please..." Ryo pulled him into a deep hug. "I love you Shige...I love you." Ryo's eyes brimmed over with tears. Shige threw his arms around Ryo and clung to him, sobbing. "Shige...I'm sorry...please forgive me...I can't even envision a future without you...."
Shige sobbed even harder and gripped the back of Ryo's shirt. "...I...I...I love you too....Ryo..." Shige said between gasping for air and sobbing.
Ryo smiled.."You...you called me Ryo again..." They both softly laughed and smiled while they cried together, holding onto eachother desperately. After a few minutes, they pulled apart and looked into eachother's eyes.
Shige put his hand behind Ryo's neck, and kissed him, lightly on the lips. Ryo's heart skipped a beat. Shige pulled away sligtly, and looked at Ryo. He inhaled, and exhaled deeply. He inhaled slightly and kissed Ryo again, this time, the kiss escalated and became more passionate...all their feelings for eachother were being expressed through the kiss they shared. Electricity ran through their veins, and they both became lost in eachother. They each held the other tighter and tighter. They broke the kiss and Ryo started kissing Shige from his ear down to his collarbone. It felt so good...so right. Ryo wasn't being as agressive as he had in the past. Before, he would bite and suck at Shige's neck hungrily. Now, with each kiss down his neck, Shige felt how much Ryo cared about him....each kiss was gentle and filled with love, and with desire....desire to have all of Shige, and also desire to give his whole self to Shige in return.
The night was filled with love, and with passion. They made love, and it was beautiful...almost majestic. No aggression, no force...everything was natural, and heartfelt.
Afterwards, when they came back to reality, Ryo put his arms around Shige and held him tight.
"...Ryo...?" Shige said, still panting. "Ryo, don't you have to go now? I mean, what about your reputation..the paparazz-"
Ryo silenced him with a kiss.
"Shh..." Ryo said as he slowly kissed his forehead, his eyelid, his cheek, and then his lips again.
"Shige....don't worry. I'm not going anywhere." Ryo whispered. "Even if I have to give up my whole life....I'm never letting you go."
Shige looked into Ryo's eyes, and a single tear ran down his face.
"I love you...Ryo."
Ryo wiped away his tear and caressed his face a few times with his thumb.
"I love you too, Shige...more than you'll ever know."
They both fell asleep, in eachother's arms, holding eachother tight...and never letting go.
****
A month later:
"Ahh, Shige! What the hell!" Ryo yelled, as Shige slapped a handful of suds onto Ryo's face and sprayed him with water with the sink sprayer.
"You...you looked a little dirty, I thought help you out!" Shige said, laughing.
"Oh, really? In that case, you look a little dirty as well...let me help YOU out now!" Ryo said, smirking, as he picked up a handful of suds from the sink.
Shige eyed Ryo's hand. "No no no Ryo, don't!" Shige yelled as he dropped the sprayer and ran out of the kitchen. Ryo chased after him. They ran around the house, both smiling and laughing uncontrollably.
They are complete opposites, Nishikido Ryo and Kato Shigeaki. They're as different as black and white. But even so, they keep eachother grounded. When one is lost, the other is is there to find him, and guide him out of the dark. When one is scared, the other is always there to comfort him. They always support eachother, no matter what. Their bandmates support them too. Ryo had told them all about their relationship the day after they got back together. Soon after, Ryo moved into Shige's apartment. Their life is very close to what Ryo had imagined if would be. But much much better. They communicate everything with eachother: their likes, their dislikes, their feelings, their wants, their needs, everything. Neither of them ever kept anything from eachother ever again. Everytime they made love, it was out of love, passion and desire, instead of hunger and lust. Some would say it's the same either way. But others say it makes a world of difference.
Ryo caught up to Shige and spread the suds all over his face. They both continued laughing, out of breath, and they sunk to the floor. They both sat next to eachother, leaning their backs against the counter.
"Shit, Shige, how do you run so fucking fast?" Ryo said, still laughing.
Shige looked over at Ryo, and sat on Ryo's lap, straddling him, looking at his face with a slightly disappointed look.
"What?" Ryo said, confused
Shige smirked and wiped the suds off his face and shoved them into Ryo's mouth. Ryo, surprised, spit out the suds to the side and started wiping his tongue with his fingers, trying to get the suds off.
"What was that for?" Ryo said, looking at Shige with a pitiful expression.
Shige laughed and said "I was washing your mouth out with soap...you curse too much!" Shige smirked at him and continued laughing.
Ryo started laughing with him. He wiped some suds off his shirt with his finger and put them on the tip of Shige's nose.
"Ba~ka." Ryo said, smiling.
They both giggled at how stupid they both looked before Ryo pulled Shige close and kissed him.
No matter what happens, they will always be together. Because theirs was a story of true love, and although dark at times, it never faltered. Theirs was a story of black and white coming together and forming the perfect shade of gray. Theirs was a story of a love that will never end.
And it all started with a photoshoot.
THE END~
A/N: Last chapter! I hope you liked it! This chapter was inspired by the songs "Ai Nante" by NewS, "Awake" by Josh Groban and "Only one Person" by FT Island. I was actually shocked, in "Ai Nante", the first 2 lines of Shige's part show exactly how Shige was feeling in this fic. And Ryo's part was exactly how Ryo felt by the end of this fic. ^^ It was weird. <3 I hope you all are happy with the ending. The last scene is more fluffy than clouds. ^_^ I loved writing it, because as much as I enjoyed writing angsty!nishikato, writing the last scene made me smile. And yes, the gray thing was from Shige's essay "Gray". That essay he wrote really touched me and I wanted to apply it to his "relationship" as well. ^^ Thank you all for reading, this was my first fanfiction ever, so I apologize if things felt a bit choppy or unrealistic. I tried to keep everything as real as possible. And I also edited it myself, and even though I get A's in english, I still probably made a few grammar mistakes. ^^; Sorry~ Thanks again for reading! <33333 Spread the nishikato love <33333333
Pairing: Nishikato
Genre: Romance/Angst
Rating: PG-13 for this chapter (language)
Summary: It was a normal day in the life of Kato Shigeaki. Nothing new had happened at work, and it was becoming dull. But today, the director ordered the NewS members to style eachothers outfits for the photoshoot. Nishikido Ryo was in charge of styling Shige, but things got awkward when Ryo started to feel something he had never felt before for another guy, and things elevated from there. Ryo's not shocked, he always gets what he wants. But what will happen when Shige's ex-girlfriend wants to get back together with him? *I fail at summaries*
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4: The truth
Yamapi, Koyama and Tegoshi got excited and ran over to where Massu was waving it. Shige and Ryo followed slowly behind.
"Oooh see Koyama! You look great!!" Massu exclaimed, pointing at the Koyama's page.
"....Let's turn the page, I..I don't want to be reminded about that outfit..." Koyama said, making a disgusted face and turning his face.
Tegoshi ripped the magazine out of his hands
"Na, Yamapi, look how sexy you look!!" Tegoshi said smiling, pointing at Yamapi's page.
"Ehh..." Pi grabbed the magazine now. "Na, Ryo-chan! You look kakkoii, ne?"
"Eh? Uh..sure, thanks." Ryo said, and looked away.
"Oh and uh, Tegoshi and Massu, you look great too!!" Pi said, flipping through the magazine.
"Hey! Don't just pass by us!!" Tegoshi and Massu said, simultaneously and angrily.
"Where's Shige-kun?~" Pi said, flipping through the pages, ignoring them.
"Ah, here he is!"
The picture sent shivers down Shige's and Ryo's backs.
"Wow, you look good Shige!" Tegoshi said, still smiling.
You have nice style, Ryo!" Massu said, not realizing the awkward atmosphere.
"Na, these clothes weren't on the racks...If they were I would have picked them.."Koyama said, confused.
"Y-Yeah they were, they were there, you..y-you just didn't look hard enough." Ryo said, nervously.
"Isn't that your shir-"
"No!" Ryo snapped.
The 4 of them continued to praise Shige's picture and the rest of the magazine. Shige and Ryo both glanced at eachother. Their eyes met, and they felt a million different emotions. The voices began to get lower and lower, until they were inaudible. Shige snapped out of it, and looked away. He started to walk closer to where the others were standing, but he was stopped by Ryo's hand on his arm. Ryo pulled him out of the room, past staff members, up the stairs, and into one of the dark, abandoned hallways. Ryo stopped, and faced Shige.
"N-Nishikido-kun,..what are you doing?"
Ryo ignored the question. He pulled Shige closer, putting his arms around him and hugging him tightly. He closed his eyes slowly and cautiously placed his head on Shige's shoulder. His heart beat rapidly but painfully as he smelled Shige's scent...the scent he had missed so much. He felt Shige's warmth...the warmth he had been missing every second. He felt knives stabbing into his chest.
Shige was surprised, and he knew this shouldn't be happening....but he couldn't describe how good it felt to be in Ryo's arms again...to be close to him...Shige closed his eyes, unbearable pain throbbing in his heart. Why is he doing this?
Shige...Shige I know...I know we can't be together...but...just let me stay like this for a minute okay? Let me memorize this feeling...and then I'll be okay...I..I promise. Ryo wanted to say this...but no words escaped his trembling lips.
Shige just stood there, his face against Ryo's shoulder, tears streaming down his cheeks. They had hugged so many times....but this time was different. They were both fragile, hearts clinging on to each other, both sinking in the weight of all the things they couldn't say to eachother.
I wish I could make this moment last forever...Ryo thought. But he knew it had to come to an end. He inhaled slowly and pulled away, giving up once and for all his dependancy on the feeling he felt when he held Shige. He pulled back, and looked into Shige's eyes, moving his lips to his forehead. He exhaled deeply and kissing him lightly on the forehead before completely pulling apart and walking away, tears falling uncontrollably with each step he took.
Shige collapsed onto the floor. The tears in his heart began to overflow. Nails were driving into his chest. He put his knees up and buried his face in his hands, and he cried. When Ryo embraced him, he had felt a feeling in his heart....the feeling he had been missing every moment since he broke up with Ryo. But in a blink of an eye, that feeling disappeared, and here he was again, feeling empty and lonely, looking towards where Ryo's shadow had disappeared into the distance.
****
The next day at work:
"Na, Ryo-chan...you were so boring last night. You didn't even look at any of the girls.." Yamapi said, disappointed.
"I didn't feel like it..."
"Ahhh ahh~, well then will you feel like it tonight?"
"Probably not. It's not as fun anymore..."
"W-What?" Yamapi stared in horror at what Ryo had just said.
"I mean...haven't you ever wanted to just date one person?"
"Ryo-chan, you know we're not allowed to do that."
"Secretly, I mean..."
"This is coming from the guy whose mind puts women before food? A-are you feeling all right?" Yamapi put his hand to Ryo's forehead before Ryo pushed it away.
"Forget it.....It's nothing."
Shige overheard the conversation and looked over at Ryo, confused. Did he seriously just say fhat fooling around isn't fun anymore? Maybe...maybe he's changing...maybe...he hugged me yesterday beca-
"Shige kuuuuuuuun~~!!!!!" Kyoko screamed, running over to Shige
"Kyoko? What are you doing here?" Shige asked, in surprise. "How did you even get in here?"
"It doesn't matter! I missed you!!" Kyoko said as she grabbed Shige and kissed him.
Ryo shut his eyes, hoping that if he stopped looking, the pain of seeing what he just saw would go away...
"Kyoko, not here!" Shige said, gasping for air.
"Fine! You're so uptight sweetie~~ Don't worry, I'll loosen you up later!" She giggled.
Ryo couldn't take it...he hated this girl. And he hated the thought of what she meant by "loosening him up"'....
"Ooh who is this hottie?" Kyoko said, eyeing Ryo. "Well, he's not as hot as you, puppy," Kyoko looked at Shige and then back to Ryo. "but WOW!"
"T-Thats uh...he's Nishikido Ryo, my uh..bandmate." Not liking the idea that Kyoko was looking at Ryo, of all people.
She walked over to Ryo.
"Ahh, Ryo-kun~"
Ryo lost it.
"First of all, don't fucking call me that shit like you know me. I don't know you, nor do I want to GET to know you. Second of all, you're dating HIM. Not me. So stop trying to flirt with me you fucking slut. Yes, you guessed it. I don't like you. At all. So fuck off, bitch." Ryo snapped, and he walked out the door.
"W-w-w-what w-w-was t-t-that??" Kyoko stuttered, frightened.
"Uhh...excuse him, ne?~ He's got a bad temper. Don't take it personal" Yamapi said, trying to apologize.
Shige was pissed about what Ryo just said. He ran out the door, and chased after Ryo.
"Oi! Nishikido-kun!" Shige finally caught up to him, and Ryo turned around.
"What the hell do you want?" Ryo said, still fuming from what just happened.
"Why did you just yell at my girlfriend like that?"
"Didn't you see what she just did? She fucking just started flirting with me. Right in front of your face! What did you expect me to do? Just stand there and flirt back?"
"She was just being friendly. And..well I wouldn't be surprised if you started started hitting on her. I mean, she's a girl. Any girl's fine, right?"
"That was NOT being friendly! Shige, I don't trust this girl. I think she might like me. And no, actually, any girl's not fine. I don't flirt with my friends' girlfriends."
"Oh so now I'm your friend? A month ago, you didn't even want to be seen drinking with me. And for your information, I don't need your approval of the girl I date. She doesn't like you, she didn't even know who you were until a few moments ago."
"Shige, be realistic. What young girl in Japan doesn't know who I am? And about the drinking thing...you said you didn't want to go! And besides, if the paparazzi got a picture of you crying near me, it would be all over the tabloids. I can see it now. 'Nishikido Ryo makes bandmate cry with his poison tongue!" Or some shit like that."
"Oh, so I'd ruin your reputation again, is that it? What would you have done if they got a picture of you making out with some dirty slut on your lap?"
"Wh-What?" Ryo's eyes widened "H-how did yo-"
"N-Never mind that. I don't care if you don't trust Kyoko. I do. So don't be rude to her." Shige said, and then walked away quickly.
How did he know about that?
For the next few days, Kyoko would come to where they worked. And everyday, after clinging onto Shige for a few minutes, Kyoko would continue to act "friendly" towards Ryo. Ryo wanted to punch her, but he didn't want to upset Shige again.
"Ryo-kuuuun~ Why are you so quiet today?" Kyoko whined, clinging to his arm.
Ryo shook her off and moved away.
"I don't feel like talking."
"Awww our wittle Ryo is sad?"
"Kyoko..." Shige said, trying to urge her to stop, but she didn't listen.
"Don't worry baby, I'll handle this." She said to Shige. "What's wrong, Ryo?"
"Don't call me Ryo. I don't even let my friends call me that. I don't even know you, so I sure as hell am not going to allow you to." Ryo snapped, and he walked out the door.
Kyoko stomped her feet, getting angry like a 2 year old. And then she got an idea.
"Ne, Shige-kun...where's the bathroom?" Kyoko aked.
"Um, if you take a right out this door it's the second door on the left."
"Thanks!" She said as she ran out the door.
Damnit, this girl won't stop. Ryo thought, standing against the wall near the bathrooms.
"Ohh, Ryo-kun, here you are!"
Ryo turned angrily to Kyoko, who was skipping over to him.
"What are you stalking me now?"
"Of course not!"
She stopped in front of Ryo, a little too close to him. She pinned him against the wall and started getting closer....
**
"Na, Shige, you better go out there, you wouldn't want her to run into Nishikido-kun." Koyama said, worried.
"Yeah, you're right." Shige stood up, and walked towards the door. He turned to the right, and froze.
Kyoko had Ryo pinned against the wall, and she kissed him, aggressively. After a moment, Ryo freed himself from the hold she had on him and pushed her away, against the opposite wall.
"What the FUCK?!" Ryo screamed, rage in his eyes.
"Ryo-kun...don't be mad at me...I did it because I like you...couldn't you tell? I even got back with that loser Shige so I could get closer to yo-"
"Loser?! Listen here you fucking slutty bitch. I don't give a shit what you think about me. You don't know how lucky you are to be given the chance to be with him. If you can't realize that, then you don't deserve to be with a guy like Shige. Don't show your disgusting face around us ever again!"
A security guard came over and escorted her away. Shige stared in horror at what just happened. He turned back into the room and Koyama, who heard the whole thing, threw his arms around Shige, and comforted him.
Ryo punched the wall. Damnit...Damn you, you stupid girl...why...why did you have to hurt him again?...Ryo cringed as he imagined Shige crying over her. "Damnit..."
Shige spent the next 10minutes talking to the guys, and he decided it was for the best that Kyoko was out of the picture again. Shige was disappointed, but he had never even begun to give his heart to her again. He could kinda tell they were both not in the relationship for the right reasons. And he was stupid to not realize what Ryo had told him about her flirting with him too easily. Wait...Ryo...He had never come back into the room. Shige walked out the door, and saw Ryo standing, eyes closed with his chest facing the wall, leaning his arm on it.
Shige just looked at him....Ryo had stood up for him...had defended him...had seen what he had been blind to...Do you really love me deep in your heart?
Shige stepped slowly and cautiously towards him.
"Umm..Nishikido-kun?"
There was no answer, but Shige continued to talk.
"Hey...uh...I should have believed you...I'm sorry....a-and...uh..th-thanks...for...for sticking up for me just now..." Shige said, heart beginning to beat a little more quickly.
Still no answer from Ryo. The silence continued for a few minutes.
"....A-Ano, listen, Nishikido-kun, I know our relationship is awkward...but we're bandmates..we have to figure out how to be friends. H-how... um....H-how about...I make you dinner tonight...to...to thank you for today...hmm?" Shige said, nervously, and tilted his head at the last part.
After a few moments, Ryo responded.
"....I guess..." Ryo mumbled quietly, and he looked up at Shige. "A-Are you okay? You know..after what just happened?"
"Huh? Oh..yeah...I'm fine. I sort of knew it was too good to be true. I can't really be mad at her...I wasn't in the relationship for the right reasons either..."
"...Huh?" Ryo asked, puzzled.
"..Eh..N-n-never mind. L-Let's go, ne?"
They both walked silently to the parking garage.
What did he mean when he said he wasn't in the relationship for the right reason? Then why was he with her?
Ryo and Shige both drove separately to Shige's apartment building. They arrived at the same time, but neither spoke to eachother on the walk to his apartment. Shige was shaking as he inserted his key and turned it slowly, opening the door. They both walked in and took off their shoes. Shige hurried into the kitchen. Ryo stood still, looking around at the place where they used to spend every night together. Nothing had changed. He walked slowly towards the couch, looking at how everything was in the same place. He sat on the couch, and immediately memories flowed into him. This is the place he used to sit, arms around Shige, making out with him before they made their way into his bedroom. His heart sunk. A wave of loneliness and hurt came over him. He turned to Shige, who was cutting vegetables, with his back turned away from Ryo. Ryo just stares at him, desperately. He wished they could be like this everyday.
He had fantasized about them everyday. Imagined them coming home from work, Ryo watching TV or playing a video game while Shige was preparing dinner. They would sit at the table, and Ryo would tease Shige saying the food was gross, but then eating all of his and also Shige's leftovers to show him that he actually really enjoyed it. They would wash the dishes together, Shige would wash, and Ryo would dry. Every once in a while Shige would shyly look at Ryo from the corner of his eye and spray him with the sink sprayer. Ryo would get angry, but Shige would look at him, eyes smiling, and he would start to laugh, making Ryo laugh as well. On Friday nights, they would sit down on the couch together and watch a an old movie, eating a big bowl of popcorn. Shige would see a deep meaning in the movie, and would start to cry, but Ryo on the other hand would just laugh at the styles people wore back then. Afterwards, they would be in bed, Shige reading or writing, and Ryo complaining for him to turn the light off, and Shige would just laugh and tell him "I'm almost done~".
This is what he had fantasized about..not sex. Of course, Ryo wanted it, a lot. After all, he always thought relationships were all about satisfying physical needs. But he slowly realized that what he wants with Shige the most are these little things, these things that seem so miniscule and yet are so important. All he wanted was to be with Shige...forever.
They ate dinner, and barely said a word to eachother. When they did, it was work-related.
"Shige, can I help you with the dishes?" Ryo asked, trying to help.
"Uh, no, it's okay Nishikido-kun, I can handle it. Why don't you see what's on TV. I shouldn't take long, I'll catch up."
Shige gathered up all the dishes and brought them into the kitchen. Ryo watched TV for a little bit, and looked over at Shige, who was still washing.
Without thinking, Ryo got up and walked into the kitchen. Shige noticed his presence, but never turned his head to look at him. He turned off the water, and stood facing the wall. Why is he here? He heard footsteps and felt Ryo coming closer and closer. His heart began to beat rapidly and his hands began to tremble. He could feel Ryo behind him. Ryo wrapped his arms wrapped around Shige from the back, closing his eyes and pressing his left cheek against Shige's head, holding him more tightly.
Shivers ran up Shige's back as he felt Ryo's warm chest against his back, warm breath against his ear. Shige closed his eyes as well and his breathing began to quicken.
"Shige...Shige what did I do wrong?....Why did you break up with me?" Ryo asked gently, on the verge of tears.
"Nishikido-kun.." Shige opened his eyes and tried to loosen Ryo's grip. It was no use. "Nishikido-kun, I...told you to find someone else...why do you keep coming back to me?"
"Shige, you baka...you told me to find someone else. You told me to leave you alone...but my feet led me nowhere.....Shige...please just tell me what I did.."
Shige turned slightly to the left. It was extremely difficult to say, but Shige felt the sincerity in Ryo's voice. "I...I thought you just wanted me for the sex...and that night you and Yamapi went to the club, I saw you there, with 2 girls, and...I figured that's what you saw me as..another toy to play with..."
Ryo opened his eyes and lifted his head "You saw me there? Oh God Shige, I was drunk...and I was upset over what happened in work, and those gir-" Ryo stopped, and shut his eyes hard due to the pain in his heart he felt once he realized how Shige must have felt when he saw him that night....
He gently layed the right side of his face on Shige's left shoulder. "....I'm sorry..." he said in a weak, raspy voice.
A few moments passed.. "..Shige...it was never just about the sex for me..I...I'm-" Ryo stopped and sighed. "Shige..I..I'm in love with you..."
Shige froze, and he didn't know exactly why, but tears overflowed from his eyes. Ryo let go of him and turned him around to face eachother. Ryo realized he was crying and with both hands he wiped away the tears. "Shige don't cry...please don't cry baby, please..." Ryo pulled him into a deep hug. "I love you Shige...I love you." Ryo's eyes brimmed over with tears. Shige threw his arms around Ryo and clung to him, sobbing. "Shige...I'm sorry...please forgive me...I can't even envision a future without you...."
Shige sobbed even harder and gripped the back of Ryo's shirt. "...I...I...I love you too....Ryo..." Shige said between gasping for air and sobbing.
Ryo smiled.."You...you called me Ryo again..." They both softly laughed and smiled while they cried together, holding onto eachother desperately. After a few minutes, they pulled apart and looked into eachother's eyes.
Shige put his hand behind Ryo's neck, and kissed him, lightly on the lips. Ryo's heart skipped a beat. Shige pulled away sligtly, and looked at Ryo. He inhaled, and exhaled deeply. He inhaled slightly and kissed Ryo again, this time, the kiss escalated and became more passionate...all their feelings for eachother were being expressed through the kiss they shared. Electricity ran through their veins, and they both became lost in eachother. They each held the other tighter and tighter. They broke the kiss and Ryo started kissing Shige from his ear down to his collarbone. It felt so good...so right. Ryo wasn't being as agressive as he had in the past. Before, he would bite and suck at Shige's neck hungrily. Now, with each kiss down his neck, Shige felt how much Ryo cared about him....each kiss was gentle and filled with love, and with desire....desire to have all of Shige, and also desire to give his whole self to Shige in return.
The night was filled with love, and with passion. They made love, and it was beautiful...almost majestic. No aggression, no force...everything was natural, and heartfelt.
Afterwards, when they came back to reality, Ryo put his arms around Shige and held him tight.
"...Ryo...?" Shige said, still panting. "Ryo, don't you have to go now? I mean, what about your reputation..the paparazz-"
Ryo silenced him with a kiss.
"Shh..." Ryo said as he slowly kissed his forehead, his eyelid, his cheek, and then his lips again.
"Shige....don't worry. I'm not going anywhere." Ryo whispered. "Even if I have to give up my whole life....I'm never letting you go."
Shige looked into Ryo's eyes, and a single tear ran down his face.
"I love you...Ryo."
Ryo wiped away his tear and caressed his face a few times with his thumb.
"I love you too, Shige...more than you'll ever know."
They both fell asleep, in eachother's arms, holding eachother tight...and never letting go.
****
A month later:
"Ahh, Shige! What the hell!" Ryo yelled, as Shige slapped a handful of suds onto Ryo's face and sprayed him with water with the sink sprayer.
"You...you looked a little dirty, I thought help you out!" Shige said, laughing.
"Oh, really? In that case, you look a little dirty as well...let me help YOU out now!" Ryo said, smirking, as he picked up a handful of suds from the sink.
Shige eyed Ryo's hand. "No no no Ryo, don't!" Shige yelled as he dropped the sprayer and ran out of the kitchen. Ryo chased after him. They ran around the house, both smiling and laughing uncontrollably.
They are complete opposites, Nishikido Ryo and Kato Shigeaki. They're as different as black and white. But even so, they keep eachother grounded. When one is lost, the other is is there to find him, and guide him out of the dark. When one is scared, the other is always there to comfort him. They always support eachother, no matter what. Their bandmates support them too. Ryo had told them all about their relationship the day after they got back together. Soon after, Ryo moved into Shige's apartment. Their life is very close to what Ryo had imagined if would be. But much much better. They communicate everything with eachother: their likes, their dislikes, their feelings, their wants, their needs, everything. Neither of them ever kept anything from eachother ever again. Everytime they made love, it was out of love, passion and desire, instead of hunger and lust. Some would say it's the same either way. But others say it makes a world of difference.
Ryo caught up to Shige and spread the suds all over his face. They both continued laughing, out of breath, and they sunk to the floor. They both sat next to eachother, leaning their backs against the counter.
"Shit, Shige, how do you run so fucking fast?" Ryo said, still laughing.
Shige looked over at Ryo, and sat on Ryo's lap, straddling him, looking at his face with a slightly disappointed look.
"What?" Ryo said, confused
Shige smirked and wiped the suds off his face and shoved them into Ryo's mouth. Ryo, surprised, spit out the suds to the side and started wiping his tongue with his fingers, trying to get the suds off.
"What was that for?" Ryo said, looking at Shige with a pitiful expression.
Shige laughed and said "I was washing your mouth out with soap...you curse too much!" Shige smirked at him and continued laughing.
Ryo started laughing with him. He wiped some suds off his shirt with his finger and put them on the tip of Shige's nose.
"Ba~ka." Ryo said, smiling.
They both giggled at how stupid they both looked before Ryo pulled Shige close and kissed him.
No matter what happens, they will always be together. Because theirs was a story of true love, and although dark at times, it never faltered. Theirs was a story of black and white coming together and forming the perfect shade of gray. Theirs was a story of a love that will never end.
And it all started with a photoshoot.
THE END~
A/N: Last chapter! I hope you liked it! This chapter was inspired by the songs "Ai Nante" by NewS, "Awake" by Josh Groban and "Only one Person" by FT Island. I was actually shocked, in "Ai Nante", the first 2 lines of Shige's part show exactly how Shige was feeling in this fic. And Ryo's part was exactly how Ryo felt by the end of this fic. ^^ It was weird. <3 I hope you all are happy with the ending. The last scene is more fluffy than clouds. ^_^ I loved writing it, because as much as I enjoyed writing angsty!nishikato, writing the last scene made me smile. And yes, the gray thing was from Shige's essay "Gray". That essay he wrote really touched me and I wanted to apply it to his "relationship" as well. ^^ Thank you all for reading, this was my first fanfiction ever, so I apologize if things felt a bit choppy or unrealistic. I tried to keep everything as real as possible. And I also edited it myself, and even though I get A's in english, I still probably made a few grammar mistakes. ^^; Sorry~ Thanks again for reading! <33333 Spread the nishikato love <33333333