Aug 11, 2008 12:53
Author : yukigafuru
Title : Gentle embrace
Chapter : 3/?
Genre : romance, slight angst
Warnings: manXman love
Rating : PG-13, will change
Pairing: Uruha / Aoi, Ruki / Kai
Summary : Feelings can get stirred up quite easily sometimes, even by a band mate's radio show.
Notes: Hope you like it. I also hope I'll have plenty of comments to reply to (hugs).
Chapter 3
When Ruki woke up, the first thing he became conscious of wasn’t the fact that he wasn’t in his room, nor that he was naked and either did he recognize the delicious smell coming from the kitchen. He did sense though, being bombarded by it that is, the skull-splitting headache. It was as if a thousand hammers where hitting his brain at the same time, turning it into some kind of gelly. It took about 10 minutes for him to get used to the light and the smell and the feeling of nausea that rushed over him as soon as he got up, noticing just then that he was naked and in Kai’s bedroom. He was wondering what he was doing there but then some faint memories from the night before visited him. He had drank, gallons it seemed, tried to leave, but was stopped by someone, put into a cab and then everything went blank. His cell phone was on the nightstand next to the bed so he flipped through it and saw the last call and message sent and he thought he understood everything. Kai had come for him, probably found him in a horrible state and nursed him back to life. After all, Kai was like that, selfless…
But then Ruki remembered why he had been drinking in the first place…
That’s when Kai decided to make an appearance.
“Ru-chan, you’re up. How are you feeling?”, he almost whispered, knowing what loud noises could do to a man with a hangover.
“I’m just fine, Kai-kun. I’m sorry for giving you all this trouble.”
Kai frowned at that. What was with the “Kai-kun”. Usually, Ruki would treat everyone with a “chan” and a pout. He wasn’t one for formalities. But Kai just dismissed it, thinking it to be the fault of the hangover.
“Want something to eat. I also made a special cocktail to help you get over that hangover. Oh, and Ruki, do you remember last night?”
“The last thing I remember is being put into a taxi. But after looking at my home I kind of figured out what happened.” Ruki answered.
“Ruki, Kai started biting his lip, you need to see a doctor.”
Ruki jumped at that.
“What?!”
“When I found you, you were naked on a cheap motel bed and from what I gathered from the woman that called me, she seemed like a prostitute, Ruki. It’s possible that you didn’t think of using protection.”, Kai answered feebly.
Ruki just shrugged and said “I see”.
Kai was again taken aback by that reaction. He expected Ruki to be scared or mad at himself or something, not so calm. This wasn’t like Ruki at all…
“I’m sorry, Kai-kun, but I just want to get into my apartment and sleep some more. So I’m going to say n to the breakfast for now. D you have some clothes I can borrow?”, Ruki said.
Kai just couldn’t reply for a minute and then he just averted his eyes from Ruki and answered.
“There are some of your clothes left from when you did a sleepover. I’ll get them out for you…Meanwhile he had taken a neatly folded Tshirt and jeans out of a drawer and while handing them to Ruki, he added…But you know, you could stay here for a little while longer.”
“I don’t want to bother you.”, Ruki answered coldly and then just headed for the bathroom.
The truth was that Ruki was being cold in order to hide all the emotions trapped in his chest. He regretted being such a coward and not facing the drummer especially when he knew what he had put him through that night. Kai hadn’t said one word of reproach and had acted like a true friend even worrying for him, but that was just the problem, Ruki didn’t want him to be like that. It only meant that Ruki would hate himself more. He was ashamed when he imagined how Kai must have found him (not of the being naked part, since they were both guys and all, but still he hadn’t wanted Kai to ever see him that out of it). He was scared, of course he was, of what had probably happened last night and utterly disgusted with himself in that respect. And having Kai there, the man that almost never seemed to lose his composure in front of anyone, was not helping. So Ruki was just running away, not knowing that he was really hurting his friend in the process.
While Ruki was in the bathroom showering and changing, Kai just sat on his bed, where Ruki had just sat before, softly glided his hand over the pillow Ruki had slept on, having a thousand thoughts run through his head. Ruki was definitely weird, especially around him, Kai now realized. During practice, he hadn’t said a word to him and now he was simply running away as if Kai was the plague. And Kai’s heart hurt, partly because he was worried about Ruki, and partly because he was expecting something else although he didn’t even know what exactly. But he did know he wanted to hold Ruki again, hold him like he had the last night, see the angelic part of him, make him feel protected and in doing so keeping his promise, not to let him go. But the Ruki he met today was like a different person, like a block of ice. He hadn’t shown any feeling and that hurt Kai deeply.
Kai didn’t stop considering about where exactly this was leading him to. He overlooked the fact that the feelings he was having were on the border between friendship and another emotion.
When Ruki came out of the bathroom he saw Kai standing there, on the bed, his hand on the pillow he had slept on, looking lost at him. And then and there he saw how much he had hurt Kai with his attitude. He knew he had been acting cold when he should have just bore his chest and he couldn’t bear to see pain in the other man’s eyes. So almost in a trance, he stepped closer to the other drummer, raised his hand to touch the other man’s cheek, lifted Kai’s head, looked straight into his eyes and whispered “I’m sorry”, just before gently brushing his lips against Kai’s. And then he turned away and left, hoping that he had relieved a little bit of Kai’s worry. He had acted as a friend for the first time in days, Ruki thought and although the fact that he was leaving without a proper explanation wasn’t right, he still thought he had let Kai know that he cared.
But Kai didn’t feel like that. He didn’t feel less worried or anxious because of two equally powerful reasons. He had seen the guilt and pain in Ruki’s eyes and he suspected that Ruki couldn’t tell him about it, didn’t even want to tell him about it. And that hurt. And Kai also realized something. The moment Ruki had given him that innocent kiss, Kai’s world had turned around. He wasn’t that stupid not to connect the feeling he had in his stomach with the emotions he had been feeling since last night. Kai was honest with himself, he recognized the butterflies and the prickling of his skin, the ever present image of last night engraved in his mind. He could still smell Ruki, he could still feel his breath when he had been so close to him and above anything, he could still feel Ruki’s plush lips on his own, even if the contact had only been for a fraction of a second, he wanted to feel that softness again, he wanted to taste Ruki again…
Kai admitted to himself that he had fallen in love with Ruki. And once he reached that conclusion, he started freaking out a bit because the new revelation posed two problems: Ruki was a man and he was his friend and Kai had always been, that is until now at least, straight and with plans to marry and have kids. Hence Kai’s predicament. But Kai was also strong. He knew himself. He knew that the way he felt was not a slight obsession and he knew that if there was something he wanted, he’d fight for it. And Kai wanted Ruki. And Kai would have him. Even if he had to turn the world around, be the devil that tempts the angel, he wanted that angel.
fanfic,
multichapter,
gentle embrace,
gazette