Chasing butterflies, chapter 8, AoixReita, Rukix?
Title: Chasing butterflies
Author: yukigafuru
Rating: PG-13 for now (will be adult)
Chapter: 8/?
Pairings: Aoi/Reita
Bands: Gazette
Warnings: none for now
Genre: angst, romance
Summary: Life is short. You try to catch it and it slips through your fingers. Life is also beautiful. It astounds you at every step. And it only takes one minute, one encounter to change it forever.
Chapter 8
Ruki indeed hadn't found the one, he himself thought later that evening, while recovering his breath from the pleasurable marathon he had experienced with one of his lady friends. Sometimes even he marveled at how easy Japanese girls offered sex, but until now it had always worked in his favor so he couldn't be a hypocrite and condemn them. Still, there were times like these, when even after releasing and experiencing that joy ride of chemicals flooding your brain, when he thought that there should be something more. Times when he wished he'd wake up to a loved face and stay in bed for a few hours just talking about their dreams, times when he would make a mess of dinner and his lover would simply laugh and tackle him, times when he wanted someone to confess his fears to. Aoi had found his one, and sometimes, however briefly, Ruki envied him that.
With his mind unusually clear, he revisited the day's events and stumbled upon those thoughts of Uruha he had squashed at first. Did he find him attractive? Upon careful and painful consideration, he found that he did. Did that mean he wanted something with him? He didn't think so. If love was what Aoi and Reita had, then he and Uruha didn't fit the bill and it would end in disaster. And a tumble in the sheets to get it out of his system wasn't worth the following complications. No, it was better if he left that spark alone.
But then what? He bitterly thought. Just then, the body next to him moved and in slumber, wrapped her arm around his middle, leaning further into his heat. Even with the heater on, the night was cold. It was a cold he'd have to brave soon, because he wouldn't be caught dead there in the morning. No time better, he surmised and untangled himself from the girl, quickly put his clothes on while shivering from the sudden cold, and then left the room and the house. Her place was close to the school and in a bout of madness, Ruki felt like seeing the school grounds, sitting underneath that tree and staring at the moon and stars that miraculously penetrated Tokyo's urban fog.
He reached the school, the barred gates not even close to stopping him in his sudden nighttime adventure. He simply found the perfect spot to climb over the wall: a place where time and weather had carved a hole that allowed his foot to nudge in, supporting himself while pushing upwards and with some effort, swing himself over the top. He almost landed on his butt but managed to recover his balance in time to make a wobbly landing on his feet; dusted the dust that had clung to his clothes away and then looked around.
The school grounds seemed different at night. More ethereal, less common place. The shine of the moon and the shadows cast by the trees and buildings allowed shapes to form and dance over the trimmed grass while the windows, with the few white curtains flapping in the wind, felt like they were watching. Ruki felt a chill pass through his bones and it could have been from the wind that had picked up just then or it could have been from something more. Still, stubborn as he was, he made his way to the famous high-school meeting spot: the tree he and Aoi had spent so many lunch afternoons under. He ground to a halt when noticing a shape leaning against the trunk.
He debated with himself whether he should approach the figure or not. It could be a homeless man, although they had no reason to bother with the wall - plenty of other more covered places to catch a night of sleep under- it could be another student, it could be someone or something else. Ruki was not superstitious- he'd claim- but he did have a healthy respect for things he couldn't understand. Still, his feet seemed to be carrying him in that direction and when he was finally a few meters away from the man, Ruki could distinguish the stranger's shape, despite the shadows. He stopped momentarily though for the other was analyzing him. He could feel eyes like fire digging into his flesh and Ruki thought for a moment that those eyes were able to strip all his pretenses and masks from him and uncover the frightened little boy he really was inside.
After a few more moments though, the stranger seemed to have got what he had been searching for and averted his eyes from Ruki's form once more. In the meantime, Ruki had managed to gleam a bit of the other's features too. He was tall and lithe, but with strong shoulders, indicating that he practiced some sport intensively; probably stronger than me - Ruki's self-preservation instincts added. He was either wearing all black or his clothes were sufficiently dark to look that way in the shadows. His hair reached his shoulders and it couldn't have been anything other than ebony black with the way it cast shadows over his face. Ruki couldn't gather much about his facial traits and his curiosity was compelling him to approach the stranger while every flight-instinct in his body told him to stay put or better yet, run.
But he didn't. However, neither did he get closer. It was as if some sort of spell made him sit still and observe the other, who at the moment was gazing at the stars, much like Ruki had thought of doing earlier.
“At night, you're more likely to lose yourself than find what you were looking for.” The depth of the voice surprised Ruki at a cellular level. It sounded like velvet over steel and it was dangerous and seductive and intriguing. His words made it even more so, and Ruki's chest ached with the need to see his face. Still, from the voice, he thought he wasn't wrong in assuming he was older, definitely in years and even more so in life experiences.
He edged just a couple of steps closer and now those eyes were watching him again and even though Ruki knew it must be a trick of the light, Ruki swore they glowed like embers.
“Why are you here?” Ruki found himself whispering and the wind somehow carried his words to the other man, who just shrugged and kept watching. He reminded Ruki of a predator, with himself as pray.
Something inside Ruki recognized this as a once in a lifetime opportunity, but it did not tell him what for. Still, he couldn't leave and neither could he just stand frozen in the same place any longer, so Ruki cautiously walked towards the tree, one step at a time and when he finally knelt next to the man, he knew in his bones, without a shred of a doubt, that he'd find him again. Even in Tokyo, but especially in their neighborhood, he would have been hard to miss with his high cheekbones, sharp chin, a hint of stuble, deep piercing black eyes, full perfectly soft looking lips and high nose. He was beautiful, a trait he had referred to Uruha once, except this man was another type of beauty. Whereas Uruha's was delicate, fragile like a rose petal, this man was cold and sharp and unyielding, like a Japanese blade. Ruki wondered who he was, but then he knew the other wouldn't tell him and that it wouldn't matter. They were just two strangers meeting by a twist of fate on a lonely and cold January night. If he'd thought of it that way, Ruki might have shuddered at the romantic implications, but he simply laid back next to the stranger and they both silently gazed at the night sky, that was turning grayish purple beyond the horizon.
Ruki must have fallen asleep inadvertently, for when he opened his eyes again, the sun had already popped its head from under Earth's shoulder, elongating shadows and drawing vibrant contrasts across the grass. Ruki was alone and wrapped up in a long black leather coat, that smelt like cinder and pine, a sharp relaxing scent that Ruki knew he'd want to wrap himself in.
He hated that he'd been left alone, hated that he wanted to see the stranger again, and for more than just to return his coat. It occurred to him to search the coat's pockets, but they were empty and nothing served to tell him who the stranger was and how to go about meeting him again.
Ruki finally got up, his back stiff and borderline painful from a few hours of sleep on the cold hard ground. His pants were also humid from the morning dew, and overall, it occurred to him that spending the night in the school garden instead of the girl's house, had not been one of his brightest ideas. Still...
He picked himself up, straightened himself out and then left the school grounds the same way he had gotten in. He sneaked into his house, then into his bedroom and burrowed between the sheets, falling asleep to the vivid recollection of midnight eyes.
When he woke up, it was way past the time he should have been at the hospital and he got showered, changed and fed with lightning speed before dashing out the door. He found Aoi still glued to Reita's side and thanks to the fact that Uruha was also there, managed to draw him away from the hospital room and lure him to the cafeteria for lunch and coffee.
“What did the doctor say?” He asked with trepidation, knowing it couldn`t be good if Aoi hadn't gone home for a change of clothes yet.
“The cancer... it`s grown again, probably not because of any excess that Rei did. They're still going to try the chemo, but the chances that it will work are much lower. They might have to operate.” He whispered and grief taking hold of him, covered his grief-stricken face in his palms.
Ruki could do nothing more but hug his friend and offer silent support. “You have to stay strong, Aoi.”
Aoi's chuckle was drier than the winter wind.
“He`s the one that had to support me earlier. Before you came. I just...” Another shudder wrecked his frame. “I have to pull it together but I don't know how to do that.”
“By taking it one step at a time.” Ruki whispered without even being sure why he knew those were the right things to say. He had never been the level-headed one between the two of them, but maybe he had learned something from seeing Reita and Aoi these few months. Aoi nodded and slowly, by taking deep breaths and making low exhales, managed to calm himself.
“What happened to you yesterday anyway? You kind of disappeared.” Aoi asked and even though it was painfully obvious he wasn't exactly interested in Ruki's explanation but simply longed for some distraction. Ruki took no offense and started telling him what had happened.
He omitted telling Aoi of the impression the man had made on him, the way his blood stirred even now, just by just thinking of him. He was almost at the end of his story when he suddenly stopped, wide-eyed and shell-shocked. For just then, beyond the windows, in the hospital's garden, talking to one of the doctors, was the one - the same man from last night. And Ruki only managed to mumble a half-assed apology and ran out of the cafeteria, leaving a surprised but slightly calmer Aoi behind.
A/N: There goes another one. Looking for a job is still keeping me unbelievably busy, so I'm sorry that I can't update at my usual speed. Even this chapter, I wrote between one appointment and the next, because when I get home, I just feel like sleeping and doing nothing else.
Anyway, I need you to give me ideas about who you picture for the guy described above. You've probably guessed why but if not, I won't spell it out for you.
Anyway, I hope you've been waiting for this and that you'll let me know what you thought o it. It's rushed, so I7m sorry if it's not at the same standards as before. And, I'm sorry to say, but it's the truth: less comments, less likely I'll update in the near rather than distant future. For now at least. Squishes
Author: yukigafuru
Rating: PG-13 for now (will be adult)
Chapter: 8/?
Pairings: Aoi/Reita
Bands: Gazette
Warnings: none for now
Genre: angst, romance
Summary: Life is short. You try to catch it and it slips through your fingers. Life is also beautiful. It astounds you at every step. And it only takes one minute, one encounter to change it forever.
Chapter 8
Ruki indeed hadn't found the one, he himself thought later that evening, while recovering his breath from the pleasurable marathon he had experienced with one of his lady friends. Sometimes even he marveled at how easy Japanese girls offered sex, but until now it had always worked in his favor so he couldn't be a hypocrite and condemn them. Still, there were times like these, when even after releasing and experiencing that joy ride of chemicals flooding your brain, when he thought that there should be something more. Times when he wished he'd wake up to a loved face and stay in bed for a few hours just talking about their dreams, times when he would make a mess of dinner and his lover would simply laugh and tackle him, times when he wanted someone to confess his fears to. Aoi had found his one, and sometimes, however briefly, Ruki envied him that.
With his mind unusually clear, he revisited the day's events and stumbled upon those thoughts of Uruha he had squashed at first. Did he find him attractive? Upon careful and painful consideration, he found that he did. Did that mean he wanted something with him? He didn't think so. If love was what Aoi and Reita had, then he and Uruha didn't fit the bill and it would end in disaster. And a tumble in the sheets to get it out of his system wasn't worth the following complications. No, it was better if he left that spark alone.
But then what? He bitterly thought. Just then, the body next to him moved and in slumber, wrapped her arm around his middle, leaning further into his heat. Even with the heater on, the night was cold. It was a cold he'd have to brave soon, because he wouldn't be caught dead there in the morning. No time better, he surmised and untangled himself from the girl, quickly put his clothes on while shivering from the sudden cold, and then left the room and the house. Her place was close to the school and in a bout of madness, Ruki felt like seeing the school grounds, sitting underneath that tree and staring at the moon and stars that miraculously penetrated Tokyo's urban fog.
He reached the school, the barred gates not even close to stopping him in his sudden nighttime adventure. He simply found the perfect spot to climb over the wall: a place where time and weather had carved a hole that allowed his foot to nudge in, supporting himself while pushing upwards and with some effort, swing himself over the top. He almost landed on his butt but managed to recover his balance in time to make a wobbly landing on his feet; dusted the dust that had clung to his clothes away and then looked around.
The school grounds seemed different at night. More ethereal, less common place. The shine of the moon and the shadows cast by the trees and buildings allowed shapes to form and dance over the trimmed grass while the windows, with the few white curtains flapping in the wind, felt like they were watching. Ruki felt a chill pass through his bones and it could have been from the wind that had picked up just then or it could have been from something more. Still, stubborn as he was, he made his way to the famous high-school meeting spot: the tree he and Aoi had spent so many lunch afternoons under. He ground to a halt when noticing a shape leaning against the trunk.
He debated with himself whether he should approach the figure or not. It could be a homeless man, although they had no reason to bother with the wall - plenty of other more covered places to catch a night of sleep under- it could be another student, it could be someone or something else. Ruki was not superstitious- he'd claim- but he did have a healthy respect for things he couldn't understand. Still, his feet seemed to be carrying him in that direction and when he was finally a few meters away from the man, Ruki could distinguish the stranger's shape, despite the shadows. He stopped momentarily though for the other was analyzing him. He could feel eyes like fire digging into his flesh and Ruki thought for a moment that those eyes were able to strip all his pretenses and masks from him and uncover the frightened little boy he really was inside.
After a few more moments though, the stranger seemed to have got what he had been searching for and averted his eyes from Ruki's form once more. In the meantime, Ruki had managed to gleam a bit of the other's features too. He was tall and lithe, but with strong shoulders, indicating that he practiced some sport intensively; probably stronger than me - Ruki's self-preservation instincts added. He was either wearing all black or his clothes were sufficiently dark to look that way in the shadows. His hair reached his shoulders and it couldn't have been anything other than ebony black with the way it cast shadows over his face. Ruki couldn't gather much about his facial traits and his curiosity was compelling him to approach the stranger while every flight-instinct in his body told him to stay put or better yet, run.
But he didn't. However, neither did he get closer. It was as if some sort of spell made him sit still and observe the other, who at the moment was gazing at the stars, much like Ruki had thought of doing earlier.
“At night, you're more likely to lose yourself than find what you were looking for.” The depth of the voice surprised Ruki at a cellular level. It sounded like velvet over steel and it was dangerous and seductive and intriguing. His words made it even more so, and Ruki's chest ached with the need to see his face. Still, from the voice, he thought he wasn't wrong in assuming he was older, definitely in years and even more so in life experiences.
He edged just a couple of steps closer and now those eyes were watching him again and even though Ruki knew it must be a trick of the light, Ruki swore they glowed like embers.
“Why are you here?” Ruki found himself whispering and the wind somehow carried his words to the other man, who just shrugged and kept watching. He reminded Ruki of a predator, with himself as pray.
Something inside Ruki recognized this as a once in a lifetime opportunity, but it did not tell him what for. Still, he couldn't leave and neither could he just stand frozen in the same place any longer, so Ruki cautiously walked towards the tree, one step at a time and when he finally knelt next to the man, he knew in his bones, without a shred of a doubt, that he'd find him again. Even in Tokyo, but especially in their neighborhood, he would have been hard to miss with his high cheekbones, sharp chin, a hint of stuble, deep piercing black eyes, full perfectly soft looking lips and high nose. He was beautiful, a trait he had referred to Uruha once, except this man was another type of beauty. Whereas Uruha's was delicate, fragile like a rose petal, this man was cold and sharp and unyielding, like a Japanese blade. Ruki wondered who he was, but then he knew the other wouldn't tell him and that it wouldn't matter. They were just two strangers meeting by a twist of fate on a lonely and cold January night. If he'd thought of it that way, Ruki might have shuddered at the romantic implications, but he simply laid back next to the stranger and they both silently gazed at the night sky, that was turning grayish purple beyond the horizon.
Ruki must have fallen asleep inadvertently, for when he opened his eyes again, the sun had already popped its head from under Earth's shoulder, elongating shadows and drawing vibrant contrasts across the grass. Ruki was alone and wrapped up in a long black leather coat, that smelt like cinder and pine, a sharp relaxing scent that Ruki knew he'd want to wrap himself in.
He hated that he'd been left alone, hated that he wanted to see the stranger again, and for more than just to return his coat. It occurred to him to search the coat's pockets, but they were empty and nothing served to tell him who the stranger was and how to go about meeting him again.
Ruki finally got up, his back stiff and borderline painful from a few hours of sleep on the cold hard ground. His pants were also humid from the morning dew, and overall, it occurred to him that spending the night in the school garden instead of the girl's house, had not been one of his brightest ideas. Still...
He picked himself up, straightened himself out and then left the school grounds the same way he had gotten in. He sneaked into his house, then into his bedroom and burrowed between the sheets, falling asleep to the vivid recollection of midnight eyes.
When he woke up, it was way past the time he should have been at the hospital and he got showered, changed and fed with lightning speed before dashing out the door. He found Aoi still glued to Reita's side and thanks to the fact that Uruha was also there, managed to draw him away from the hospital room and lure him to the cafeteria for lunch and coffee.
“What did the doctor say?” He asked with trepidation, knowing it couldn`t be good if Aoi hadn't gone home for a change of clothes yet.
“The cancer... it`s grown again, probably not because of any excess that Rei did. They're still going to try the chemo, but the chances that it will work are much lower. They might have to operate.” He whispered and grief taking hold of him, covered his grief-stricken face in his palms.
Ruki could do nothing more but hug his friend and offer silent support. “You have to stay strong, Aoi.”
Aoi's chuckle was drier than the winter wind.
“He`s the one that had to support me earlier. Before you came. I just...” Another shudder wrecked his frame. “I have to pull it together but I don't know how to do that.”
“By taking it one step at a time.” Ruki whispered without even being sure why he knew those were the right things to say. He had never been the level-headed one between the two of them, but maybe he had learned something from seeing Reita and Aoi these few months. Aoi nodded and slowly, by taking deep breaths and making low exhales, managed to calm himself.
“What happened to you yesterday anyway? You kind of disappeared.” Aoi asked and even though it was painfully obvious he wasn't exactly interested in Ruki's explanation but simply longed for some distraction. Ruki took no offense and started telling him what had happened.
He omitted telling Aoi of the impression the man had made on him, the way his blood stirred even now, just by just thinking of him. He was almost at the end of his story when he suddenly stopped, wide-eyed and shell-shocked. For just then, beyond the windows, in the hospital's garden, talking to one of the doctors, was the one - the same man from last night. And Ruki only managed to mumble a half-assed apology and ran out of the cafeteria, leaving a surprised but slightly calmer Aoi behind.
A/N: There goes another one. Looking for a job is still keeping me unbelievably busy, so I'm sorry that I can't update at my usual speed. Even this chapter, I wrote between one appointment and the next, because when I get home, I just feel like sleeping and doing nothing else.
Anyway, I need you to give me ideas about who you picture for the guy described above. You've probably guessed why but if not, I won't spell it out for you.
Anyway, I hope you've been waiting for this and that you'll let me know what you thought o it. It's rushed, so I7m sorry if it's not at the same standards as before. And, I'm sorry to say, but it's the truth: less comments, less likely I'll update in the near rather than distant future. For now at least. Squishes