Chasing butterflies, Chapter 6, ReitaxAoi
Title: Chasing butterflies
Author: yukigafuru
Rating: PG-13 for now (will be adult)
Chapter: 6/?
Pairings: Aoi/Reita
Bands: Gazette
Warnings: none for now
Genre: angst, romance
Summary: Life is short. You try to catch it and it slips through your fingers. Life is also beautiful. It astounds you at every step. And it only takes one minute, one encounter to change it forever.
Chapter 6
The weather was unusually warm the next day, with the sun shining brightly amidst a sea of clear topaz and it offered the perfect excuse for the two of them to get together again. Therefore, as soon as it was proper to raise another household with the loud ringing of the telephone, Reita and Aoi were exchanging plans over the connecting line.
Aoi was still in his teddy-bears pajamas, which if you asked about he would deny any trace of their existence, when asking: “How did you sleep?”
Reita wasn't much better off, although his black striped beige pajamas certainly seemed more manly. “Great. I had a really long rest. Did you just miss me or are you inviting me out again?” He flirted.
Aoi chuckled, a deep rumble that sent chills down Reita's spine. “Now what would you do if I said neither?” And there was the chuckle again. Reita thought he'd probably have to sit down soon if this went on. “Now don't pout. Both actually. I missed you and I want us to go out. Any problems with that?”
Reita had on a huge grin that somehow transmitted itself and caused Aoi to lean a bit against the wall. “Nope.” Aoi could have sworn he heard a chirp. “But how about we ask Ruki and Uruha out too? On a double date of sorts.” Was Reita's suggestion.
“A double date?” Aoi did a double-take. “Rei, you're not trying to set those two up or something, are you?”
There was only silence. “You know they're not gay, right?” Aoi insisted.
“Neither were we...” At Aoi's lack of an immediate response he retraced his steps. “Sorry, maybe I assumed wrong.”
“We didn't get to talk about this and I don't think it's a topic for conversation over the phone. I'm fine with inviting them, but not with trying to set them up. Things could get messy and I don't want that on my conscience.”
Reita sighed loudly. “I know, Aoi. I just think they'd be perfect for each other...”
“Or you're just in love and want everyone to be as happy as you.” It was rare for Aoi to be the rational one between the two of them, but miracles did happen and this was one instance in which he had one of those gut feelings that they should stay out of it. “How about we have a guys day out. It wouldn't exactly be a romantic date and we could have fun with our friends. How about an amusement park?”
“I've always wanted to go to the Hanayashiki. It's not exactly scary but it's in a good area and Asakusa should be really nice this time of the year.”
“OK then. I'll call Ruki, you talk it over with Uruha and we'll see then how it goes, ok?” He paused before adding “and Rei, no tricky stuff.”
They both got off the phone in a pleasant mood. As it happened, Reita was quite lucky that Uruha hadn't walked in on his telephone call with his boyfriend. His friend had woken up too early by his standards and only the softness of the sheets and the birds singing beautifully across the window made him lounge a few more minutes before coming down the stairs. He met Reita just as the other was putting the receiver down.
“Judging by your expression, that was Aoi, right?” He asked on their way to the kitchen, where their breakfast was already served. They dug in with gusto, the just cooked rice soft and deceptively sweet, the salmon fried just right, the egg soaked in the shoyu sauce and the miso soup warm and tasty.
“Yeah. Since it's such a beautiful day, we thought the four of us could go out, maybe to the Hanayashiki. Did you have anything planned for today?”
“I was going to practice the violin for a bit, but well, that's not something I can't postpone for when we get home. The four of us including Ruki, right?”
Reita mhmed his consent. “I think you guys get along really well.” Uruha knew his friend too well not to think that phrase a bit suspicious, but he refrained from commenting with anything else than an affirmative statement while slightly narrowing his eyes at his friend.
Reita swiftly changed the subject. “I think I'll also call sis today to let her know I'm coming over in a couple of days.”
“So you're spending a week there? Do you want me to come with?” He asked.
“Normally, I'd say yes, since I'd hate to leave you here alone. But if you'd rather stay here...” Uruha squinted his eyes again, thinking that something was very suspicious about Reita's attitude that morning.
“No, I'd love to come. Haven't seen Aya in a while and could take advantage of the opportunity and attend a few concerts in London, maybe take a look at their conservatory.”
“You're thinking about studying there?”
“Couldn't afford it without relying too much on my parents money, unless I stayed with Aya I guess. But no, for now, I'm just checking things out.” The fact that he wouldn't even think about leaving Reita while he was struggling with the cancer went unsaid but acknowledged by both.
Aoi phoned Ruki a while later and since his friend had nothing planned for the day, he quickly got him on-board with their plans to spend the day. Therefore, several hours later, the four of them were exchanging hugs underneath the torii of the Sousenji temple. As usual for Asakusa, even in the winter, there were foreigners and tourists all around and the colorful stalls were loaded with many types of souvenirs. The foods caused your mouth to water, while the t-shirts and other parafernalia sometimes made you cringe at the ridiculous colors and messages.
Before heading towards the Hanayashiki, they took advantage of the place and quickly offered a prayer at the temple, not knowing but suspecting that the four of them had internally asked for the same wish: a remission of the cancer. They also bought the omamoris and took out a few omikuji tickets to find out about their luck in the following month. Reita's was the luckiest of all and even though they knew it was silly, those results put them in a joyful mood for the rest of the day.
Afterwards, they headed towards the amusement park, Uruha and Ruki in front and the lovers behind, holding hands. Conversation was easy and in tune with their light moods and they all regretted just a bit the fact that they soon reached the gates of the amusement park.
The hanayashiki's entrance price was typical for amusement parks in Japan, even if expensive by other standards, but the rides were quite unique to the little place. Much smaller than the extremely popular Disneyland, it was an amusement ground not only for children but adults as well, although it didn't look the part with its minuscule roller-coaster. In fact, all the more “daring” rides were quite small and harmless and as such, just perfect for Reita, who didn't need excessive excitement. The oldest amusement park in Japan, the Hanayashiki however had a fun and unusual haunted-house, a mini-pool, perfect in the summer and many other small distractions to pass the times, including the souvenir shop. And unlike Disneyland, it wasn't crowded so they could go on all the rides together, without waiting a long time queuing and so, even after going on all the rides they wanted to go on, still had plenty of time to stroll around Asakusa.
Therefore, the four friends left the park hungry but happy, in search of a welcoming place to eat and they happened to find an old sushi place, that just begged you to go in. They sat on the counter, directly facing the chef, who was busy preparing the small treats and resumed the talk they had started earlier.
“Then we have to go to Disneyland once.” Aoi repeated his earlier statement.
“No, we don't.” Uruha argued the same point.
“But you can't not visit it at least once. It's the thing that drives people crazy these days. Right, Ru?” Aoi asked his friend's opinion and help with the point he was trying to make.
“Well, it is the perfect place for dates...” His eyes became a bit foggy for a moment, probably remembering one of his own dates down there. “But Aoi, it's not exactly a place for guys dating, if you get my drift. More than seventy percent of the population going there are probably females, so...”
Uruha looked victorious, while Aoi put out. “Really, Aoi, when did you go the last time?”
“With my parents, a while back.”
“And you were a kid, right?” Uruha hammered the point home. Aoi had to nod unenthusiastically. “My point made, can we get over the topic?”
At Reita's house, much later, hidden from inquisitive parents and friends gazes alike, within Reita's room, Aoi and Reita revisited the topic.
“Why does it bother you so much, Aoi?” Reita accurately hit the nail on why his boyfriend was acting slightly out of character.
“Do you care what other people think of us, Reita? Are you ashamed of our relationship?” He asked.
During their dates, they had held hands at certain points and kissed, but only now did Aoi wonder whether Reita wasn't truly comfortable with that.
“No, love. Nothing like that. I could never even think that. But maybe I am a bit uncomfortable when people look at us strangely...”
“I don't even notice it, especially since in Japan, it doesn't happen often that someone comment loudly on us being together.” Reita nodded. “Maybe it's a good thing to talk about the gay thing. It also came up this morning over the telephone.” Aoi urged. He had wanted to address the topic for sometime and now was the perfect opportunity.
“Uruha told me that if not for me, you would probably never have even considered the possibility. Was he right?”
Reita had to agree. “I was raised a certain way, Aoi. You probably were too, so I can't pretend it was anything out of the ordinary but... I never saw myself as anything else but straight. I haven't dated much, but on the other hand, most guys in a boys only school such as mine don't. And I have had crushes on several girls and admired and wanted the female body. I don't actually think I'm gay either because apart from you, I don't look at other guys like that. I even tried, you know, but I don't find them attractive in the least. Does that bother you?”
“Not exactly, no. I think I had already figured that out already. But I have to wonder whether it bothers you that I am gay. Because I think I am, Rei.”
“No, of course not. But I'd like to hear your reasons for thinking that all the same.” Reita's lithe fingers were caressing Aoi's nape and Aoi leaned a bit more into the soft touch.
“I've never had that much interest in my girlfriends or female... bodyparts. I went out with girls and never had the urge to have sex with them. I tried to fantasize about girls but it never came out right and well, looking at my attitude with you...”
“What do you mean by that?” Reita was indeed puzzled. He could understand the other reasons fairly well, although they didn't quite apply to himself, but the last one caused his heart to beat a little erratically. Did he do something to cause Aoi to worry, he wondered.
“I get lost in you, Rei. I'm so head over heels I don't even recognize myself and between the two of us, it always seems like I'm the one asking for more. Maybe that makes me the girl in this relationship.” He deprecatingly answered, a statement that Reita neither agreed with nor approved of.
“Aoi... we're partners, I don't want us to assign roles and have to act like we're someone else. I don't want you to someday have doubts about us...” His heart actually hurt at the thought that he had caused Aoi to think less about himself, although at the same time did not want to fall into a trap where he was the one that had to act a part.
“I know, Rei. I also know you love me and every time you tried to calm me a bit you were right about it. I understand it but sometimes it still hurts. But it's okay. As long as we're together, I have no doubts.” Reita wanted to think that Aoi truly believed that but a big part of him wondered and he decided to at least try to see things from Aoi's perspective next time they disagreed about something. He did not want to hurt his lover in any way, although he also knew that it was impossible not to hurt or get hurt sometimes in a relationship.
“I just want you to be able to tell me anything, to never doubt that I will listen and understand.”
“Yes, Rei. Now stop worrying.” Aoi smiled one of those grins that set Reita's heart to flutter like a hummingbird's wings. His lover also leaned towards him, wrapped his arms around his neck and applied himself to relearning the taste and feel of his mouth. There were moans and desperate caresses and lips reddened from soft bites. There were also whispers of affectionate declarations and demands for more.
Aoi clung to Reita like a vine to a wall, his legs wound around Reita's waist, their upper bodies pressed tightly against each other, one arm wrapped around Reita's nape, the other stroking his sides. Reita thought that in seconds clothes would fall off if they didn't stop and he tried to suggest it between kisses and licks, but Aoi's passion was clouding his own judgment and he was falling further into Aoi's arms. The moment their hard lengths pressed against each other through their clothes, both gasped and the long, interminable kiss finally reached its ends. Flushed with heat as well as embarrassment, Aoi's face hidden on his boyfriend's shoulders, Reita pecking Aoi's neck, they were the picture of repressed desire and shy love.
“We got carried away, didn't we?” Aoi chuckled a bit later. His head did not relinquish its stronghold on Reita's shoulder.
“I want to be with you, so much.” After their earlier discussion, Reita felt the need to tell him that, although it was more than obvious from their bodies reactions. “But not in my parents' house with them or Uruha threatening to barge in here any moment.”
“I know.” Aoi truly meant that. He understood and felt the same; which didn't stop him from thinking errant thoughts and imagining them together on the same bed they were sitting on. Still, they were too young, and he did not want to do anything to make Reita give into something he might not want. Without a proper discussion, they had both settled on waiting, at least until Reita was of legal age to agree to it. “I love you.” He confessed and it was easy and familiar and undeniably right. And he was happier than he had ever been.
“Do you want me to stay? Not go to London? I haven't bought the ticket yet.” Reita suggested but Aoi was much more secure in them than before. It probably had much to do with the fact that they were out of that hospital, wrapped in each others arms and love. Outside, they felt free and the cancer did not seem as the immediate threat they both rationally knew it was. They could forget about it even if for a short while. So Aoi's answer was not in any way faked when he denied.
“No. Go see your sister. I'm betting she's excited about having you there. I will miss you but that will only make us meeting again sweeter, won't it?”
Reita shuddered thinking about coming back to Aoi after a week being apart from him. They were crazy about each other when meeting almost every day. How would they be when a week had passed without properly communicating with the other? Phone calls were too expensive, letters were too slow and in a week, they would probably only get five minutes of hearing the other's voice. He briefly thought that him going away might turn into a bad idea, but he knew he had made the decision for the right reasons. They needed their time apart, even if it hurt.
“When are you leaving?” Reita had asked his father to go to the travel agency and get the tickets, so even though he did not know for certain, he had a fairly good idea of the date.
“In three days.” He replied and briefly hugged Aoi closer, tighter, communicating silently the fact that he did not look forward to the fact.
“You'll be here for Christmas Eve then? And leave on Christmas?”
“Yeah. Even though Christmas isn't such a big deal in Japan, I wanted to spend it together with you. I'll end up spending New Year's eve in London though.” They both knew it would be almost impossible to spend New Years Eve together anyway, unless both their families agreed to hold the gatherings together. Since there wasn't enough time to even try to figure something out, they would have no choice but spend it apart. Also, it pulled at his heart's strings to think of his sister spending New Years Eve alone. Although he knew she probably wasn't as alone as he'd like to think.
“I can't believe Christmas is in just two days. I haven't even bought you a present yet.”
“You don't need to. That day we met at the hospital you gave me the greatest present. What do you want to do though? A date is in order after all.” This time, Reita was the one to request the date and it warmed Aoi's heart quite unexpectedly.
“Let's go to a church concert.” He himself had no idea why he'd suggested that, but as soon as the idea popped up, it had grabbed hold of him and he had impulsively expressed it.
“I... OK. Wasn't exactly what I would have suggested but why not. I've never been to one.”
“And then let's go to the temple. Even though it's not the New Year, let's make Christmas the night we meet the New Year together.” Some part of Aoi wanted to remember this New Year, their first together, even if they were continents apart.
Reita smiled warmly. “Hadn't thought you'd be so big on tradition.”
“I guess I just want to do things right.” Right for who, not even Aoi knew that. Maybe it was some unconscious way to ask the gods to help Reita, to help them. It didn't matter, it was both traditional and romantic and as long as he was with Reita, any place was fine. His boyfriend did not question his affirmation, he just kept holding him.
“Do you want to spend the night at a hotel?” Aoi pulled back from the shock of the question. He had never imagined Reita would ask him that. He gazed in the dark eyes he loved so much and saw the question reflected there, along with love and passion and the slightest uncertainty. And just that flicker strengthened his confidence: waiting was best.
He shook his head. “No, love. It would be funny and difficult at the same time to even get a room and we don't need to hurry.”
Reita did not know why he had asked that, and at the same time he did not know why he was both disappointed and relieved after receiving Aoi's answer. He wanted to be with Aoi, in all the ways possible, yet... What plagued him was the thoughts that maybe they did not have all the time in the world, maybe they should hurry, maybe... Thoughts he had refused to give in were always there, at the back of his mind and nothing could shake their place.
A/N: Happy New Year! Sorry for the delay everyone. I spent my holiday taking trips all over the place, so I didn't have the time to actually post the next chapter. I hope you still like this and that you'll let me know, since after getting back, the bunnies have been so lazy, they made it impossible to actually post this chapter earlier. So give them a push, will you?
And, I'm also thinking about a new questionnaire, but not quite sure what I should ask. For now, I'll settle with asking which character you'd like me to develop more in the following chapters.
Squishes
Author: yukigafuru
Rating: PG-13 for now (will be adult)
Chapter: 6/?
Pairings: Aoi/Reita
Bands: Gazette
Warnings: none for now
Genre: angst, romance
Summary: Life is short. You try to catch it and it slips through your fingers. Life is also beautiful. It astounds you at every step. And it only takes one minute, one encounter to change it forever.
Chapter 6
The weather was unusually warm the next day, with the sun shining brightly amidst a sea of clear topaz and it offered the perfect excuse for the two of them to get together again. Therefore, as soon as it was proper to raise another household with the loud ringing of the telephone, Reita and Aoi were exchanging plans over the connecting line.
Aoi was still in his teddy-bears pajamas, which if you asked about he would deny any trace of their existence, when asking: “How did you sleep?”
Reita wasn't much better off, although his black striped beige pajamas certainly seemed more manly. “Great. I had a really long rest. Did you just miss me or are you inviting me out again?” He flirted.
Aoi chuckled, a deep rumble that sent chills down Reita's spine. “Now what would you do if I said neither?” And there was the chuckle again. Reita thought he'd probably have to sit down soon if this went on. “Now don't pout. Both actually. I missed you and I want us to go out. Any problems with that?”
Reita had on a huge grin that somehow transmitted itself and caused Aoi to lean a bit against the wall. “Nope.” Aoi could have sworn he heard a chirp. “But how about we ask Ruki and Uruha out too? On a double date of sorts.” Was Reita's suggestion.
“A double date?” Aoi did a double-take. “Rei, you're not trying to set those two up or something, are you?”
There was only silence. “You know they're not gay, right?” Aoi insisted.
“Neither were we...” At Aoi's lack of an immediate response he retraced his steps. “Sorry, maybe I assumed wrong.”
“We didn't get to talk about this and I don't think it's a topic for conversation over the phone. I'm fine with inviting them, but not with trying to set them up. Things could get messy and I don't want that on my conscience.”
Reita sighed loudly. “I know, Aoi. I just think they'd be perfect for each other...”
“Or you're just in love and want everyone to be as happy as you.” It was rare for Aoi to be the rational one between the two of them, but miracles did happen and this was one instance in which he had one of those gut feelings that they should stay out of it. “How about we have a guys day out. It wouldn't exactly be a romantic date and we could have fun with our friends. How about an amusement park?”
“I've always wanted to go to the Hanayashiki. It's not exactly scary but it's in a good area and Asakusa should be really nice this time of the year.”
“OK then. I'll call Ruki, you talk it over with Uruha and we'll see then how it goes, ok?” He paused before adding “and Rei, no tricky stuff.”
They both got off the phone in a pleasant mood. As it happened, Reita was quite lucky that Uruha hadn't walked in on his telephone call with his boyfriend. His friend had woken up too early by his standards and only the softness of the sheets and the birds singing beautifully across the window made him lounge a few more minutes before coming down the stairs. He met Reita just as the other was putting the receiver down.
“Judging by your expression, that was Aoi, right?” He asked on their way to the kitchen, where their breakfast was already served. They dug in with gusto, the just cooked rice soft and deceptively sweet, the salmon fried just right, the egg soaked in the shoyu sauce and the miso soup warm and tasty.
“Yeah. Since it's such a beautiful day, we thought the four of us could go out, maybe to the Hanayashiki. Did you have anything planned for today?”
“I was going to practice the violin for a bit, but well, that's not something I can't postpone for when we get home. The four of us including Ruki, right?”
Reita mhmed his consent. “I think you guys get along really well.” Uruha knew his friend too well not to think that phrase a bit suspicious, but he refrained from commenting with anything else than an affirmative statement while slightly narrowing his eyes at his friend.
Reita swiftly changed the subject. “I think I'll also call sis today to let her know I'm coming over in a couple of days.”
“So you're spending a week there? Do you want me to come with?” He asked.
“Normally, I'd say yes, since I'd hate to leave you here alone. But if you'd rather stay here...” Uruha squinted his eyes again, thinking that something was very suspicious about Reita's attitude that morning.
“No, I'd love to come. Haven't seen Aya in a while and could take advantage of the opportunity and attend a few concerts in London, maybe take a look at their conservatory.”
“You're thinking about studying there?”
“Couldn't afford it without relying too much on my parents money, unless I stayed with Aya I guess. But no, for now, I'm just checking things out.” The fact that he wouldn't even think about leaving Reita while he was struggling with the cancer went unsaid but acknowledged by both.
Aoi phoned Ruki a while later and since his friend had nothing planned for the day, he quickly got him on-board with their plans to spend the day. Therefore, several hours later, the four of them were exchanging hugs underneath the torii of the Sousenji temple. As usual for Asakusa, even in the winter, there were foreigners and tourists all around and the colorful stalls were loaded with many types of souvenirs. The foods caused your mouth to water, while the t-shirts and other parafernalia sometimes made you cringe at the ridiculous colors and messages.
Before heading towards the Hanayashiki, they took advantage of the place and quickly offered a prayer at the temple, not knowing but suspecting that the four of them had internally asked for the same wish: a remission of the cancer. They also bought the omamoris and took out a few omikuji tickets to find out about their luck in the following month. Reita's was the luckiest of all and even though they knew it was silly, those results put them in a joyful mood for the rest of the day.
Afterwards, they headed towards the amusement park, Uruha and Ruki in front and the lovers behind, holding hands. Conversation was easy and in tune with their light moods and they all regretted just a bit the fact that they soon reached the gates of the amusement park.
The hanayashiki's entrance price was typical for amusement parks in Japan, even if expensive by other standards, but the rides were quite unique to the little place. Much smaller than the extremely popular Disneyland, it was an amusement ground not only for children but adults as well, although it didn't look the part with its minuscule roller-coaster. In fact, all the more “daring” rides were quite small and harmless and as such, just perfect for Reita, who didn't need excessive excitement. The oldest amusement park in Japan, the Hanayashiki however had a fun and unusual haunted-house, a mini-pool, perfect in the summer and many other small distractions to pass the times, including the souvenir shop. And unlike Disneyland, it wasn't crowded so they could go on all the rides together, without waiting a long time queuing and so, even after going on all the rides they wanted to go on, still had plenty of time to stroll around Asakusa.
Therefore, the four friends left the park hungry but happy, in search of a welcoming place to eat and they happened to find an old sushi place, that just begged you to go in. They sat on the counter, directly facing the chef, who was busy preparing the small treats and resumed the talk they had started earlier.
“Then we have to go to Disneyland once.” Aoi repeated his earlier statement.
“No, we don't.” Uruha argued the same point.
“But you can't not visit it at least once. It's the thing that drives people crazy these days. Right, Ru?” Aoi asked his friend's opinion and help with the point he was trying to make.
“Well, it is the perfect place for dates...” His eyes became a bit foggy for a moment, probably remembering one of his own dates down there. “But Aoi, it's not exactly a place for guys dating, if you get my drift. More than seventy percent of the population going there are probably females, so...”
Uruha looked victorious, while Aoi put out. “Really, Aoi, when did you go the last time?”
“With my parents, a while back.”
“And you were a kid, right?” Uruha hammered the point home. Aoi had to nod unenthusiastically. “My point made, can we get over the topic?”
At Reita's house, much later, hidden from inquisitive parents and friends gazes alike, within Reita's room, Aoi and Reita revisited the topic.
“Why does it bother you so much, Aoi?” Reita accurately hit the nail on why his boyfriend was acting slightly out of character.
“Do you care what other people think of us, Reita? Are you ashamed of our relationship?” He asked.
During their dates, they had held hands at certain points and kissed, but only now did Aoi wonder whether Reita wasn't truly comfortable with that.
“No, love. Nothing like that. I could never even think that. But maybe I am a bit uncomfortable when people look at us strangely...”
“I don't even notice it, especially since in Japan, it doesn't happen often that someone comment loudly on us being together.” Reita nodded. “Maybe it's a good thing to talk about the gay thing. It also came up this morning over the telephone.” Aoi urged. He had wanted to address the topic for sometime and now was the perfect opportunity.
“Uruha told me that if not for me, you would probably never have even considered the possibility. Was he right?”
Reita had to agree. “I was raised a certain way, Aoi. You probably were too, so I can't pretend it was anything out of the ordinary but... I never saw myself as anything else but straight. I haven't dated much, but on the other hand, most guys in a boys only school such as mine don't. And I have had crushes on several girls and admired and wanted the female body. I don't actually think I'm gay either because apart from you, I don't look at other guys like that. I even tried, you know, but I don't find them attractive in the least. Does that bother you?”
“Not exactly, no. I think I had already figured that out already. But I have to wonder whether it bothers you that I am gay. Because I think I am, Rei.”
“No, of course not. But I'd like to hear your reasons for thinking that all the same.” Reita's lithe fingers were caressing Aoi's nape and Aoi leaned a bit more into the soft touch.
“I've never had that much interest in my girlfriends or female... bodyparts. I went out with girls and never had the urge to have sex with them. I tried to fantasize about girls but it never came out right and well, looking at my attitude with you...”
“What do you mean by that?” Reita was indeed puzzled. He could understand the other reasons fairly well, although they didn't quite apply to himself, but the last one caused his heart to beat a little erratically. Did he do something to cause Aoi to worry, he wondered.
“I get lost in you, Rei. I'm so head over heels I don't even recognize myself and between the two of us, it always seems like I'm the one asking for more. Maybe that makes me the girl in this relationship.” He deprecatingly answered, a statement that Reita neither agreed with nor approved of.
“Aoi... we're partners, I don't want us to assign roles and have to act like we're someone else. I don't want you to someday have doubts about us...” His heart actually hurt at the thought that he had caused Aoi to think less about himself, although at the same time did not want to fall into a trap where he was the one that had to act a part.
“I know, Rei. I also know you love me and every time you tried to calm me a bit you were right about it. I understand it but sometimes it still hurts. But it's okay. As long as we're together, I have no doubts.” Reita wanted to think that Aoi truly believed that but a big part of him wondered and he decided to at least try to see things from Aoi's perspective next time they disagreed about something. He did not want to hurt his lover in any way, although he also knew that it was impossible not to hurt or get hurt sometimes in a relationship.
“I just want you to be able to tell me anything, to never doubt that I will listen and understand.”
“Yes, Rei. Now stop worrying.” Aoi smiled one of those grins that set Reita's heart to flutter like a hummingbird's wings. His lover also leaned towards him, wrapped his arms around his neck and applied himself to relearning the taste and feel of his mouth. There were moans and desperate caresses and lips reddened from soft bites. There were also whispers of affectionate declarations and demands for more.
Aoi clung to Reita like a vine to a wall, his legs wound around Reita's waist, their upper bodies pressed tightly against each other, one arm wrapped around Reita's nape, the other stroking his sides. Reita thought that in seconds clothes would fall off if they didn't stop and he tried to suggest it between kisses and licks, but Aoi's passion was clouding his own judgment and he was falling further into Aoi's arms. The moment their hard lengths pressed against each other through their clothes, both gasped and the long, interminable kiss finally reached its ends. Flushed with heat as well as embarrassment, Aoi's face hidden on his boyfriend's shoulders, Reita pecking Aoi's neck, they were the picture of repressed desire and shy love.
“We got carried away, didn't we?” Aoi chuckled a bit later. His head did not relinquish its stronghold on Reita's shoulder.
“I want to be with you, so much.” After their earlier discussion, Reita felt the need to tell him that, although it was more than obvious from their bodies reactions. “But not in my parents' house with them or Uruha threatening to barge in here any moment.”
“I know.” Aoi truly meant that. He understood and felt the same; which didn't stop him from thinking errant thoughts and imagining them together on the same bed they were sitting on. Still, they were too young, and he did not want to do anything to make Reita give into something he might not want. Without a proper discussion, they had both settled on waiting, at least until Reita was of legal age to agree to it. “I love you.” He confessed and it was easy and familiar and undeniably right. And he was happier than he had ever been.
“Do you want me to stay? Not go to London? I haven't bought the ticket yet.” Reita suggested but Aoi was much more secure in them than before. It probably had much to do with the fact that they were out of that hospital, wrapped in each others arms and love. Outside, they felt free and the cancer did not seem as the immediate threat they both rationally knew it was. They could forget about it even if for a short while. So Aoi's answer was not in any way faked when he denied.
“No. Go see your sister. I'm betting she's excited about having you there. I will miss you but that will only make us meeting again sweeter, won't it?”
Reita shuddered thinking about coming back to Aoi after a week being apart from him. They were crazy about each other when meeting almost every day. How would they be when a week had passed without properly communicating with the other? Phone calls were too expensive, letters were too slow and in a week, they would probably only get five minutes of hearing the other's voice. He briefly thought that him going away might turn into a bad idea, but he knew he had made the decision for the right reasons. They needed their time apart, even if it hurt.
“When are you leaving?” Reita had asked his father to go to the travel agency and get the tickets, so even though he did not know for certain, he had a fairly good idea of the date.
“In three days.” He replied and briefly hugged Aoi closer, tighter, communicating silently the fact that he did not look forward to the fact.
“You'll be here for Christmas Eve then? And leave on Christmas?”
“Yeah. Even though Christmas isn't such a big deal in Japan, I wanted to spend it together with you. I'll end up spending New Year's eve in London though.” They both knew it would be almost impossible to spend New Years Eve together anyway, unless both their families agreed to hold the gatherings together. Since there wasn't enough time to even try to figure something out, they would have no choice but spend it apart. Also, it pulled at his heart's strings to think of his sister spending New Years Eve alone. Although he knew she probably wasn't as alone as he'd like to think.
“I can't believe Christmas is in just two days. I haven't even bought you a present yet.”
“You don't need to. That day we met at the hospital you gave me the greatest present. What do you want to do though? A date is in order after all.” This time, Reita was the one to request the date and it warmed Aoi's heart quite unexpectedly.
“Let's go to a church concert.” He himself had no idea why he'd suggested that, but as soon as the idea popped up, it had grabbed hold of him and he had impulsively expressed it.
“I... OK. Wasn't exactly what I would have suggested but why not. I've never been to one.”
“And then let's go to the temple. Even though it's not the New Year, let's make Christmas the night we meet the New Year together.” Some part of Aoi wanted to remember this New Year, their first together, even if they were continents apart.
Reita smiled warmly. “Hadn't thought you'd be so big on tradition.”
“I guess I just want to do things right.” Right for who, not even Aoi knew that. Maybe it was some unconscious way to ask the gods to help Reita, to help them. It didn't matter, it was both traditional and romantic and as long as he was with Reita, any place was fine. His boyfriend did not question his affirmation, he just kept holding him.
“Do you want to spend the night at a hotel?” Aoi pulled back from the shock of the question. He had never imagined Reita would ask him that. He gazed in the dark eyes he loved so much and saw the question reflected there, along with love and passion and the slightest uncertainty. And just that flicker strengthened his confidence: waiting was best.
He shook his head. “No, love. It would be funny and difficult at the same time to even get a room and we don't need to hurry.”
Reita did not know why he had asked that, and at the same time he did not know why he was both disappointed and relieved after receiving Aoi's answer. He wanted to be with Aoi, in all the ways possible, yet... What plagued him was the thoughts that maybe they did not have all the time in the world, maybe they should hurry, maybe... Thoughts he had refused to give in were always there, at the back of his mind and nothing could shake their place.
A/N: Happy New Year! Sorry for the delay everyone. I spent my holiday taking trips all over the place, so I didn't have the time to actually post the next chapter. I hope you still like this and that you'll let me know, since after getting back, the bunnies have been so lazy, they made it impossible to actually post this chapter earlier. So give them a push, will you?
And, I'm also thinking about a new questionnaire, but not quite sure what I should ask. For now, I'll settle with asking which character you'd like me to develop more in the following chapters.
Squishes