(no subject)
Title: Stray cat (or thirteen is a good yet odd number)
Pairing: JongYu
Rating: NC-17 TYVM
Genre: AU! FLUFF, Smut, Romance, lil’angst
Disclaimer: If I OWN SM, u’ll see SJ gangbang on the net, and much more >;]
Warning: Ridiculously long fic (3000+), fluffiness, PROFANITY, Nekomimi and such, veryinnocent! Jinki, mentions of Jong/FC, mentions of femslash, Incoherency, general idiocy, etc
Beta'd by: the amazing Pris prickilla
Summary: Jonghyun’s mind finally chose to stop thinking and trying to figure out what the FUCK was going and simply accepted this strange fate. First, his girlfriend cheated on him with his own fucking sister and her lesbian girlfriend, and now, a very naked and cute man with cat ears and a tail was sitting next to him.
“So, um… when will Jonghyun make love to Onyu?” he asked innocently staring Jonghyun straight in the eyes.
Mentally, Jonghyun face-palmed himself and brought a pillow over his head. What did he do to deserve this?
A/N: Jonghyun is Sagittarius because I can >D, I can’t believe this fic actually had a plot -///- this fic is not kinky at all D:, it’s mostly fluffy and sweet…
And this fic dedicated for my adorable dongsaeng Sooyoung, and all jongyu deprived out there^^ happy EARLY valentine~ so for all who comment on me, please have my love and your virtual chocolate ^3^
A/N II: don’t take this seriously, relax, this story is focused on the smut and their relationship after all^^ so if there’s something confusing for you, please comment and ask, or simply ignored it ^^
‘
Dammit!’ Jonghyun thought to himself. He gulped his soju, the liquid burning down his throat and sighed in a defeated manner. He was such a failure as a man. He pouted as he recalled…
Jonghyun strode gracefully, albeit eagerly, down the hallway. He was going to give his 12th girlfriend, Victoria, a BIG surprise for their one month anniversary. Victoria was his childhood friend, and after eight years of separation, they met again. Eventually, he fell in love with Victoria and vice versa, or so he thought.
He opened Victoria’s apartment door with the spare key she put under the plant at the front door. He hid the flower he had bought beforehand behind his back and went over the plan as he entered the apartment. First, he was going to flatter her with his cheesy and corny words until that beautiful blush appear on her cheek. Then, he was going to take her to a nice, romantic dinner, and later bring her to a classy and expensive club, where’d they party and drink the night away.
However, his plans all went down the drain as he spied Victoria lip-locked with his damn sister, Amber, and behind her, Amber’s girlfriend, Krystal, was… oh, what a terrifying sight… He gaped like a goldfish for a few moments before nearly tearing up. He still had his dignity to maintain so he discreetly slipped out, the girls too busy to notice him anyway. Passing the Han River he threw his flower over the side and let it drift along the waters surface.
Jonghyun quickly cancelled his reservations and drowned himself in soju for the rest of the night, letting the alcohol burning down his throat wash his sorrows away. With the bottle of soju in hand, he snorted at the irony of it all. It wasn’t as if he loved Victoria that much. He loved her, of course, but not to the point that he was going to be depressed for the rest of his life. It just hurt to know that he was beaten by his own fucking sister; or maybe it was the fact that Victoria was a lesbian and she probably used him to cover it up. Other thoughts popped up like, maybe because he was simply Kim fucking Jonghyun and he was just not good enough, even though he was a well earning and famous musician. Perhaps he was so bad that even Victoria, who was straight, turned lesbian because of him.
‘Well, isn’t that a depressing thought,’ he thought absentmindedly as he downed another bottle of soju.
He scowled darkly thinking, ‘Pull yourself together Kim Jonghyun, you’re not a sap for gods’ sake!’
“You look troubled,” the bartender said off-handedly as he was wiping a glass.
He snickered. He was beyond troubled; he was crushed to pieces. He just found out that his girlfriend had cheated on him and what was worse it wasn’t even with a man, but a woman. Just to make things even worse, his girlfriend, well, ex-girlfriend was cheating on him with his own fucking sister and her girlfriend. Wasn’t that just grand?
“It’s none your business anyway,” he said and read the name tag; Lei.
“No, but I just wanted to tell you that you shouldn’t be get too drunk tonight. The weather forecast said it’ll be raining tonight,” he beamed.
Jonghyun squinted his eyes as he tried to focus his vision at the man before him. Lei was too beautiful to be a man… but maybe, it’s just his alcohol and his broken heart. Lei was rambling and suddenly, he asked him.
“What’s your astrological sign by the way?”
“Mine? Sagittarius, why?”
“Ahh, so that’s why… the daily horoscopes said Sagittarius’ would have a bad and strange day today. They’ll lose something precious but will get something much more precious than they had before. I wonder what you lost before, and what you will get that’s even more precious?” Lei pondered absentmindedly.
Jonghyun snorted. He didn’t know who’s more fucked in the head, Lei or him. He asked for his bill and gave Lei a ridiculous amount of tip. Strangely, the man’s antics amused him. Lei grinned.
“Here, maybe you’ll need this,” Lei whispered deviously, thrusting something into Jonghyun’s pocket and shooed him away.
Jonghyun, in this state of mind, only shook his head. He walked calmly; it was too dark for anyone to recognize him anyway. Suddenly, the rain poured from the night sky. He cursed under his breath as he searched for a place to shelter himself. He found a bench in front of an antique shop and sat there waiting out the pouring rain. Looking at his watch, he frowned. Broken heart or not, he needed to work. He snickered at his own luck. Was it really that bad?
His mind wondered far away from reality, until a small cry of “Mii~” awoke him from his thoughts. He looked around and saw such a heart wrenching sight. There was a little kitten with big brown eyes, orange striped fur on his back and face, which was almost drowning in a puddle of mud. He rushed and picked up the kitten, ignoring the mud that was going all over his clothes. The kitten didn’t struggle or scratch. Maybe it had sensed his good deed, or was too scared and tired to care. He took the kitten and put him in his coat, holding it tenderly.
“Let’s take a cab and go warm ourselves in my home, alright little kitten?” he asked, not really expecting an answer anyway.
The little kitten gave him a pitiful “mii~” again before he hailed a cab.
Jonghyun and the cat rode in silent, with the occasional cute sneeze from the cat that made Jonghyun smile warmly. On their arrival, he paid the cab driver and quickly rushed to the elevator and to his apartment. Actually it wasn’t really his apartment but his friend’s but he sort of inherited it when the said friend went to America. Only Key knew this place.
After they reached his apartment, he immediately headed to the bathroom and filled the Jacuzzi with warm water. He stripped himself and after rinsing off the dry mud on the cat, they bathed together. The cat gave him terrified mii’s and Jonghyun chucked.
“Don’t worry, kitten… I won’t let you drown in the water,” he said as he cradled the kitten to his chest.
While he bathed, he let the cat swiped at the bubbles. He chuckled as he saw the cat being so mesmerized by the bubbles. The cat scrunched up his face as one bubble popped into his nose. In his head, he was screaming like a fan girl at how impossibly adorable this kitten was. However, his manly side made him refrain from actually doing so.
After he let the cat play with the bubbles, he stood and put the cat on the sink as he took a fluffy towel and dried himself off. After dressing himself in a plain black wife beater and boxer shorts, he reached for another fluffy towel. The tiny cat looked even tinier with his fur drenched like that. He laughed as the cat swiped and mewled in annoyance while he tried to dry it off. The cat mewled loudly, but only confused Jonghyun even more.
“What? I don’t speak cat-language you know,” Jonghyun pouted.
The cat lapped his finger and Jonghyun, being the genius that he was, guessed that the cat was hungry. He went to the kitchen and took a small bowl. He gave the cat milk and watched as the cat drank it happily.
“Wait up kitten, I have to put all my clothes in the washroom,” he said. The cat ignored him.
“Oh, what a nice attitude you have there kitten. Yes, just ignore me after I gave you food and saved you from dying of pneumonia,” Jonghyun mumbled and pouted when he was still being ignored.
‘Do cats even get pneumonia? Oh, whatever,’ he thought as he put his clothes in the hamper in the washing room. He groped at his pockets just in case he left something. He found something in his coat; a black choker with a silver bell. He furrowed his eyebrows and shrugged, walking back to the living room seeing the kitten lap at his paws.
“Look! I found you a choker,” he said enthusiastically and put it around the kitten’s neck.
The kitten swiped at the bell and it chimed, making Jonghyun smile yet again. He took the cat and lay on his king-size bed. The cat curled close to his chest, its big brown eyes staring at him innocently.
“Ah! I forgot to give you a name!”
“Mii~” the cat seemed to agree.
“How about… Victoria?” The cat hissed loudly.
“I know, she betrayed me and besides, you’re a boy. What about… Key?” he suggested, but the cat swiped at his chin.
“Ouch, I know it sounds gay. Damn, don’t tell key I said that! Hmm, how about Onyu (soft)? It suits you a lot. Well, welcome to my place Onyu! My name is Jonghyun,” he introduced himself enthusiastically.
By now, the cat was purring contentedly on his chest as he stroked its fur. He felt himself grow attached to the cute cat, although they hadn’t known each other for that long. Jonghyun was terribly tired and would deal with all this absurdity in the morning. He sighed as he closed his eyes. The warm kitten on his chest made him strangely calm as he drifted into a deep dark void known as sleep.
=^.^=
Jonghyun woke up with a sigh, trying to blink the sleep out of his eyes but eventually gave up and closed his eyes again. All past events rushed into his mind and he felt somewhat stressed about it all. The body beside him snuggled closer and Jonghyun felt warmth spread on his chest.
‘Wait…’ Jonghyun thought. He didn’t recall sleeping with anyone except Onyu. He counted to three and opened his eyes. His eyes cast downwards as he saw a very naked body of a man.
“AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH” he screamed, loudly.
‘Shit! Since when did I become gay like Key!? WHAT THE HELL! KIM JONGHYUN WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED! WHY DO YOU HAVE A VERY NAKED MAN IN YOUR BED!’ his minds screamed at him, making any drowsiness he had before completely disappear.
The person jerked up. He blinked and yawned. He rubbed his eyes and smiled cutely.
“Good morning, Jonghyun-sshi,” he said. His ears twitched and his tail moved left and right, and on his neck was a goddamn choker.
Jonghyun blinked as he sorted through his thoughts, ‘Cat ears… Tail… choker.... AJKLAKDLHDAKGDAGD OMAHGAD THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE!’
“Is that you, Onyu?” Jonghyun asked hesitantly.
“Annyeong, Jonghyun-sshi!”
Jonghyun started hyperventilating. ‘Shit, shit, shit! I’ve finally gone crazy!’ he thought. He heard a panicked “Jonghyun-sshi!!” before he blacked out.
=^.^=
He came into consciousness as he felt a tongue lapping at his cheek and then lower to his lips. “Jonghyun-sshi! Wake up!” the voice said pitifully. Jonghyun slowly opened his eyes and saw the very same man that had caused him to collapse in the first place hovering above him.
“Jonghyun-sshi!” The man screamed happily while hugging him so tightly Jonghyun started having trouble breathing. He blinked as he tried to recall what had exactly happened.
‘No, it wasn’t a dream… The ears, the tail and the choker are still here. So, I’m not crazy after all… Well, not yet,’ he thought with disdain. He sat down helping the cat man disentangle himself from Jonghyun.
“Jonghyun-sshi made Onyu worried! Why did Jonghyun-sshi faint? Did Onyu do something bad?” the cat man asked with a pout and pitiful eyes.
“You’re Onyu…the cat?”
“Yes! Onyu is Onyu! Did Jonghyun-sshi think Onyu was not Onyu?” he asked confusedly, eyes big and his head tilted to the left. It was so adorably cute that Jonghyun’s brain was slowly turning into mush.
“But… You’re a cat, but how come you’re now a man with a pair of cat ears and a tail!?” Jonghyun asked confusedly, shock going through his eyes.
“Um… Onyu’s family was cursed by a bad witch thousands years ago! However, Onyu’s family said Onyu would be okay if someone made love to Onyu! So, Onyu chose Jonghyun-sshi because Jonghyun-sshi took care of Onyu and talked softly to Onyu and also gave Onyu milk that Onyu likes so much, and Onyu feels that Jonghyun-sshi likes Onyu very-very much!”
Jonghyun sighed as he tried to process the large amount of word-vomit that had just spewed out of Onyu’s mouth.
“Just, call me Jonghyun, not Jonghyun-sshi. I hate honorifics,” he finally replied, albeit tiredly.
“Okay, Jonghyun~”
Jonghyun’s mind finally chose to stop thinking and trying to figure out what the FUCK was going and simply accepted this strange fate. First, his girlfriend cheated on him with his own fucking sister and her lesbian girlfriend, and now, a very naked and cute man with cat ears and a tail was sitting next to him.
‘Damn, what an interesting series of events indeed,’ he thought. He peeked at Onyu and saw a drool-worthy body, much to his chagrin.
“So, um… when will Jonghyun make love to Onyu?” he asked innocently staring Jonghyun straight in the eyes.
Mentally, Jonghyun face-palmed himself and brought a pillow over his head. What did he do to deserve this?
=^.^=
pt 2 comment on the 2nd part plz^^