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Sep 13, 2020 00:00

Whatever it is, surely it can wait? [Sigh.] Fine. If it is truly so important, leave a message and I will get back to you.

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IC. barebacking October 2 2010, 19:10:22 UTC
I am going to punish Kadaj when I am well enough to do so. I know you are fond of him and don't want you to be upset with me for it, so I'm telling you ahead of time, my merciless god.

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barebacking October 2 2010, 20:11:30 UTC
Chaos.

Where there was emptiness now is only sorrow and rage. I wonder if anyone else knows what it is like to beg and wish to be empty and full of nothing simply to not feel as though your very being will not fall to pieces.

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ysobritish October 2 2010, 20:14:12 UTC
...

[Well shit.]

[That sounds like the type of madness that drove him to take Shadow Moses.]

[Suddenly he is very glad there are no nuclear weapons in town.]

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barebacking October 2 2010, 20:15:56 UTC
Troubles?

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ysobritish October 2 2010, 20:17:54 UTC
No. Just... familiar thoughts.

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barebacking October 2 2010, 20:18:58 UTC
You've had these?

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ysobritish October 2 2010, 20:23:26 UTC
Yes. Or something remarkably similar, at least.

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barebacking October 2 2010, 20:27:23 UTC
Interesting.

I wonder if you have wondered as much as I have about my existence. Even though you spoke a bit about your troubles with your brother, I'm certain that you've gone much stronger than those thoughts. You're too perfect and will always triumph over such things, after all ...

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ysobritish October 2 2010, 20:37:45 UTC
...back then. That time. I did something terrible. Driven by madness and rage. I feel no guilt for it, yet still, I have been reprimanded for it over and over. That is why I suspected this to be purgatory.

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barebacking October 2 2010, 20:39:44 UTC
I see.

I would never reprimand you for it, for whatever it is that you did.

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ysobritish October 2 2010, 20:43:31 UTC
...

I conquered a military base and took the nuclear weapon they had been planning to test there by force. I then used it to hold the entire world hostage in exchange for my father's corpse and the money necessary to cure my soldiers from their imminent death, while planning to use it to create a nation of soldiers that would eventually take over the entire world.

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barebacking October 2 2010, 21:01:21 UTC
And why did you do this? Because of the madness and rage? Because you wished to rebel against the world? I remember you saying as much. It sounds like a very noble endeavor to me, and I would have been happy to kneel at your feet.

Ah, troublesome. I actually mean those words.

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ysobritish October 2 2010, 21:02:59 UTC
Both. And yet more. It became worse once Brother became involved. All I could think about was my revenge. And it simply grew, like a treacherous flower inside of me.

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barebacking October 2 2010, 21:09:41 UTC
But still, your reasons and actions were just and pure. Purer than his, I'm sure.

No one is here to try or reprimand me for my crimes. I shall confess them all to you and see if you feel that they are worth such things, all right?

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ysobritish October 2 2010, 21:10:49 UTC
...alright. I will accept that.

That's fine.

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barebacking October 2 2010, 21:22:03 UTC
Thank you on both accounts.

I joined the Knights of the Seal out of anger and rage. But I met Urick and my reasons changed. I wanted to be pure and kind and pious for him. I bond my soul to a gnome to be granted more power. I used my charms to that I may have Urick, but he ... he ran away. I became a lieutenant and were given captives. I punished them all to the point where they begged for death. Even those I had yet to touch begged to die when they heard what happened to the others. It was to calm my head. But you see, their lives fueled the key of the district that I protected. That key grew red with the souls and pain sacrificed to it ... creating a seal to protect and maintain the world. My soul and life was also bond to that key, as well. I did this all for Urick. To try to remain that person that he wanted, but I ... changed just a bit in those years.

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