Five Times The Master Nicked The Doctor's Jelly Babies
5. Utopia
"So this is the end of everything!" said Dennis, happily, staring up at perfectly black universe. "Neat!"
"Yes," said the Doctor absently, tucking her hair back behind an ear while examining the writing on the side of a giant burning furnace. "Now, let's see--"
"Excuse me?" A conservatively dressed blonde woman smiled sheepishly at them.
"Hello," said her companion. "I'm Harry. This isn't the interstellar conference, is it?"
"We seem to have got a bit lost," said the woman. "I don't suppose you can point us out on this map?"
Dennis, the Doctor, the woman and Harry all crowded around it.
"This is a map of Cardiff!" said Dennis. "We're ten trillion years in the future at the end of the universe!"
"Oh! Our bad," said the woman.
"Well, cheerio," said Harry.
They grinned at each other and scampered off.
"That was very weird!" said Dennis.
"You know, that man seemed really rather familiar," said the Doctor thoughtfully, reaching into her pockets. "I could have sworn he... Son of a bitch!"
"Doctor!"
"He stole my jelly babies! Again!"
4. Earth (again)
"Dirty rotten scumbag!" yelled Ace, pulling at her chains.
The Master ignored her, gloved hands working deftly at the controls.
"You should be like the Professor! He left your stinking planet to save the universe, not destroy it!"
The Master lifted his head to smirk at her. "Is that what he told you?"
"Oh, no," said Ace, "you can't pull that on me, I know the Professor is a good man."
"I'm glad to hear it, Ace," said the Doctor from the doorway.
"How did you--" The Master pointed his TCE at the Doctor. Nothing happened. He grabbed his laser pistol. It fell apart.
"You see," said the Doctor, "just before I arrived here, I travelled back thirty years and rescued your blacksmith from the Cybermen -- and then I travelled back another three days and set the Cybermen on him -- so that when you came to get him to make your goods, none of them would work."
"Hey, you're right!" said Ace, who'd found a good hard tap broke her manacles quite nicely.
"You've lost," said the Doctor. "The hand of Omega will never be yours. Give up."
"Very well, Doctor," said the Master, "but I won't be leaving empty handed!"
He dived at the window, vanishing behind the curtains. Instead of crashing glass, the groaning of a TARDIS engine came.
"He's getting away!" complained Ace.
"He won't get far," said the Doctor, reaching into his pocket, "I've got his ... Son of a bitch! My jelly babies! And his dimensional stabiliser too."
Maniacal laughter echoed away into the vortex.
3. Skaro
"I can be persuasive, Doctor," Davros said, chair gliding along the corridor. "I can be very persuasive. Guard! Open this door!"
"Sir!" The guard jumped to it. The Doctor and Davros entered the labs.
"Show the Doctor his possessions."
The guard hesitated.
"You do have his possessions," Davros said.
"I, uh. I think so, Davros, but--"
"You ... 'think' so?" Davros asked, dangerously.
"There was a man here, sir. Seemed quite insistent I obey him. I assumed his was from Kaled High Command. He was looking through our things, but as soon as he saw the Doctor's stuff, he just rushed off. It was most strange, sir, he climbed into a computer bank I'd never seen before and they both just vanished."
"What?!" said the Doctor.
"Odd fellow, pointy beard, lots of black."
"It looks like everything is here," said the Doctor, flipping his scarf back over his shoulder, "except ... Son of a bitch! My jelly babies! My jelly babies!"
2. Earth
"And now he's gotten away with his dimensional stabiliser," complained the Doctor, "while I'm stuck here on Earth with you lot! Typical of the man!"
"Oh, no, he hasn't," said Jo impishly, holding the stabiliser up.
"Well done, Jo!" said the Brigadier.
"Good grief!" The Doctor smiled. "How on Earth did you manage that?"
"It was simple, really," she said, smiling happily. "While you were talking, I snuck the stabiliser out and replaced it with equal weight so he wouldn't notice. I knew he'd be too busy trying to hold his gun on us to check it."
"That's very clever, Jo." The Doctor frowned a little. "I suppose for the weight you must have ... Son of a bitch!"
Jo's face fell. "What is it, Doctor?"
"My jelly babies, Jo? Really? You stupid girl!"
"Oh!" She ducked her head, sniffling a little.
"Now really, Doctor," began the Brigadier and found he was talking to empty air. The Doctor had already stormed off.
There was noise from inside the TARDIS, not unlike sobbing.
1. Gallifrey
"Gosh," said Koschei in a calculatedly casual sort of way. "I sure am feeling peckish."
"M-me too," said Ushas, trying not to giggle and not exactly succeeding.
"If only we had something sweet to get us through," said Koschei. "I say, Thete, do you have something?"
"Don't call me Thete," said the boy in question, "and you know I have a bag of jelly babies, right here in my ... Son of a bitch!"
Koschei and Ushas both staggered around laughing, waving their portable de-actualisers through the now untouchable quantum jelly-baby superposition.
"I hate you guys so much."
"Maybe!" said Koschei and the other two cracked up again.
"Screw you guys." He glared. "I'm leaving Gallifrey!"
And he did.
"So this is the end of everything!" said Dennis, happily, staring up at perfectly black universe. "Neat!"
"Yes," said the Doctor absently, tucking her hair back behind an ear while examining the writing on the side of a giant burning furnace. "Now, let's see--"
"Excuse me?" A conservatively dressed blonde woman smiled sheepishly at them.
"Hello," said her companion. "I'm Harry. This isn't the interstellar conference, is it?"
"We seem to have got a bit lost," said the woman. "I don't suppose you can point us out on this map?"
Dennis, the Doctor, the woman and Harry all crowded around it.
"This is a map of Cardiff!" said Dennis. "We're ten trillion years in the future at the end of the universe!"
"Oh! Our bad," said the woman.
"Well, cheerio," said Harry.
They grinned at each other and scampered off.
"That was very weird!" said Dennis.
"You know, that man seemed really rather familiar," said the Doctor thoughtfully, reaching into her pockets. "I could have sworn he... Son of a bitch!"
"Doctor!"
"He stole my jelly babies! Again!"
4. Earth (again)
"Dirty rotten scumbag!" yelled Ace, pulling at her chains.
The Master ignored her, gloved hands working deftly at the controls.
"You should be like the Professor! He left your stinking planet to save the universe, not destroy it!"
The Master lifted his head to smirk at her. "Is that what he told you?"
"Oh, no," said Ace, "you can't pull that on me, I know the Professor is a good man."
"I'm glad to hear it, Ace," said the Doctor from the doorway.
"How did you--" The Master pointed his TCE at the Doctor. Nothing happened. He grabbed his laser pistol. It fell apart.
"You see," said the Doctor, "just before I arrived here, I travelled back thirty years and rescued your blacksmith from the Cybermen -- and then I travelled back another three days and set the Cybermen on him -- so that when you came to get him to make your goods, none of them would work."
"Hey, you're right!" said Ace, who'd found a good hard tap broke her manacles quite nicely.
"You've lost," said the Doctor. "The hand of Omega will never be yours. Give up."
"Very well, Doctor," said the Master, "but I won't be leaving empty handed!"
He dived at the window, vanishing behind the curtains. Instead of crashing glass, the groaning of a TARDIS engine came.
"He's getting away!" complained Ace.
"He won't get far," said the Doctor, reaching into his pocket, "I've got his ... Son of a bitch! My jelly babies! And his dimensional stabiliser too."
Maniacal laughter echoed away into the vortex.
3. Skaro
"I can be persuasive, Doctor," Davros said, chair gliding along the corridor. "I can be very persuasive. Guard! Open this door!"
"Sir!" The guard jumped to it. The Doctor and Davros entered the labs.
"Show the Doctor his possessions."
The guard hesitated.
"You do have his possessions," Davros said.
"I, uh. I think so, Davros, but--"
"You ... 'think' so?" Davros asked, dangerously.
"There was a man here, sir. Seemed quite insistent I obey him. I assumed his was from Kaled High Command. He was looking through our things, but as soon as he saw the Doctor's stuff, he just rushed off. It was most strange, sir, he climbed into a computer bank I'd never seen before and they both just vanished."
"What?!" said the Doctor.
"Odd fellow, pointy beard, lots of black."
"It looks like everything is here," said the Doctor, flipping his scarf back over his shoulder, "except ... Son of a bitch! My jelly babies! My jelly babies!"
2. Earth
"And now he's gotten away with his dimensional stabiliser," complained the Doctor, "while I'm stuck here on Earth with you lot! Typical of the man!"
"Oh, no, he hasn't," said Jo impishly, holding the stabiliser up.
"Well done, Jo!" said the Brigadier.
"Good grief!" The Doctor smiled. "How on Earth did you manage that?"
"It was simple, really," she said, smiling happily. "While you were talking, I snuck the stabiliser out and replaced it with equal weight so he wouldn't notice. I knew he'd be too busy trying to hold his gun on us to check it."
"That's very clever, Jo." The Doctor frowned a little. "I suppose for the weight you must have ... Son of a bitch!"
Jo's face fell. "What is it, Doctor?"
"My jelly babies, Jo? Really? You stupid girl!"
"Oh!" She ducked her head, sniffling a little.
"Now really, Doctor," began the Brigadier and found he was talking to empty air. The Doctor had already stormed off.
There was noise from inside the TARDIS, not unlike sobbing.
1. Gallifrey
"Gosh," said Koschei in a calculatedly casual sort of way. "I sure am feeling peckish."
"M-me too," said Ushas, trying not to giggle and not exactly succeeding.
"If only we had something sweet to get us through," said Koschei. "I say, Thete, do you have something?"
"Don't call me Thete," said the boy in question, "and you know I have a bag of jelly babies, right here in my ... Son of a bitch!"
Koschei and Ushas both staggered around laughing, waving their portable de-actualisers through the now untouchable quantum jelly-baby superposition.
"I hate you guys so much."
"Maybe!" said Koschei and the other two cracked up again.
"Screw you guys." He glared. "I'm leaving Gallifrey!"
And he did.