[Glee] Landslide - Brittany/Santana (1/1)

[youngerdrgrey]

Title: Landslide
Author: youngerdrgrey
Pairing: Santana/Brittany
Summary: Santana reflects on what loving Brittany has done to her.
Rating: T
Warnings: Season Two Spoilers
Disclaimer: I own nothing. All rights for the characters and the world go to their owners (like Ryan Murphy and FOX). I, in no way, believe - or would lead others to believe

Comments

[fall_into_life]

Not fantastic. The piece feels as though it's supposed to be third-person limited centering on Santana, but none of Santana's voice comes through. There's not a single flare of the girl Santana has built herself up to be: no defiant pride, no sarcasm, no threats. We all know Britt has been (and continues to be) an agent of change in Santana, but she's not a completely different person.

Don't take this as discouragement, because it's not. Finding an author who is actually trying, and has great grammar and spelling is an amazing thing, but in this piece your characterization falls a little flat.

[youngerdrgrey]

Thank you first of all leaving an honest review where you actually tell me what you don't like. I don't take it as discouragement in the slightest.
In this piece, one thing I was going for was kind of an out of body type of fanfic. The voice is very un-Santana and third person in hopes of showing the disconnect that the whole Brittany situation has brought about. She doesn't feel as if she is truly in these dreams, but also when she eventually gets together with Brittany, she doesn't feel right and herself there.
I think I tried conveying too much in too small a space :)
Thank you for your review and I will definitely work on that for next time.

[midoridactyl]

Jesus eff, I loved this.

[youngerdrgrey]

Thanks :)