Fic - Assumptions Chapter 2

[youkai_girl]

I know this took roughly nine months since the first chapter came out. Go here first, and then come back and read this chapter. Hopefully, it won't be nine more months before the third chapter comes out.

Disclaimer: Bleach and all of its characters are owned by Tite Kubo, his Japanese publishers, and Viz. I only play with them for grins and

Comments

[freyalilith]

Oh wow. I remember the first Assumptions chappie and it was awsome!!!! And this second chapter has made it even better!!!! (even though it is small, ya tease!)
I love both Bya and Ichi's characters, I reckon you;ve done a really good job :)
I hope you dont keep us all waiting for another nine months for the next installment!

[youkai_girl]

I'm glad you enjoyed. ^_^ I'm hoping the next chapter is at least somewhat longer, though my best work is at shorter pieces, I've found. And as long as RL cooperates, it shouldn't be another whole nine months (I hope!).

Thanks again!

[shynishyshallow]

Okay, firstly, I'd like to go with the technical side of the fic.

What I noticed as the first thing were epithets like 'blue-eyed man', 'steely-eyed captain' and such. Please, please refrain from writing so. It sounds pretty awkward and it'd really be better to simply use a name, even if that meant repeating it twice in the same sentence. You could use 'man', but I wouldn't advise things like 'young shinigami' or 'orange-haired man' and such. Taichou, imo, is fairly fine, eliding from the fact the use of single Japanese words in a clearly english piece irritates me to no end

[youkai_girl]

Darn, and I really liked "steely-eyed captain" too. ;p I'll see what I can do next time around, but I make no promises (them darlings sure do fight hard) until I actually get around to the writing of the next chapter.

I am glad you like the story so far, and that I seem to have Byakuya and Ichigo in character.

Thanks!