(no subject)
This is not meant to harass any specific user; it’s merely a collection of my thoughts.
Livejournal’s 50 Most Annoying Users
Because I don’t have a life to occupy myself with or friends to call my own and my family has long since abandoned me. If it wasn’t for the internet, I’d probably be ass up in a Los Angeles ditch waiting the fifteen weeks it would take for someone to discover my sun bleached body. Color me pathetic.
Cliché statements blanketed, this is kind of like a cross between those lame VH1 countdowns in which celebrity nobodies attempt to masquerade their jealousy as something witty and Maxim’s Hot 100 list where all the ugly ana girls make the top twenty. Only this is fifty times worse because I’m a moron. I mean cool.
Continue To LJ’s 50 Most Annoying Users
50. Katyowns - You are the ugliest fucking girl I have ever seen. Man, are you hideous. You are what I imagine a real life chia pet would look like before it grows its head full of chia. Your face is legendary. It would make the boogeyman cower in fear. If I came across you in a well lit alley, I’d turn the lights out and run the other fucking way. I only hope the military doesn’t harness the power of your face and use it as a biological weapon in warfare as we’d all be doomed.
You could only be the spawn of...
this
plus this
49. Pasdesilence - Instead of making fun of stupid fourteen year old chicken heads who think “I just threw up in my mouth a little” or “You make baby Jesus cry” comments are witty in regards to that one community about fashion faux-pas and celebrity titties, we had to waste our time wishing pain on the bitter chunky ex-mod who cares all too much about internet regulation. Nobody wants to hear you gripe anymore. Seal the fat lip and pass the silence on. Oh no you didn’t! Oh yes I damn did.
48. Dancingdrew - In high school, the geeks never spoke out of line or whined because we put their asses in check with daily face bashings and clique humiliations. This is what happens when a nerd grows a pair and decides to speak up. Clearly someone needs to one two step on over to Tacoma, Washington and put the old Wayne Brady ‘choke a bitch’ hold around his neck to keep him from further expressing his thoughts.
47. Njyoder - It’s so obvious you’re under the false impression that somebody gives a shit about the droplets of cum veiled as insults that dribble out of your crusty mouth. I wonder who deluded you to believe your opinion was worth anything more than a 25 cent gumball from a candy machine. When I want your opinion, I’ll put a quarter in your asshole. Until then, keep it to yourself pops.
Usually people who are small overcompensate for their size by hitting the gym to work on their upper body strength so they don't seem so pointless or miniscule. I guess you overcompensate by never shutting the fuck up. You think midget jokes are tired? Well here, this one isn't a joke. What happens when you put in a midget in a blender? They die.
46. Ruxpin_exe - You are kinda like Celine Dion, in the sense that nobody really wants you. Not Canada. Not the States. Not Livejournal. But we allow you to exist simply because it’s too taxing to take you out and if we did, Satan would no doubt send one of his soul suckers after us. Someone should let Brad Fitz know we’re at our balding, beady eyed, pasty faced Canadian quota for the month. One Celine Dion is one Celine Dion too many.
45. Misoconfused - Your hair is gorgeous dude. It’s so luxurious and silky. Just plain beautiful. What do you put in that shit? Pert? Selsun Blue? Herbal Essences? Ground up baby meat? Paprika? The way you get it to look ludicrous day after day is something only you can accomplish and I’m completely jealous of all the pussies you’re gonna catch with your jammin’ do.
44. Sdx - I almost decided not to state that you mustn’t have a job, or a life, or friends in the interest of not being cliché (triple double negative). But I got the hell over it and I’m wondering if internet modding is the only thing you have running for you. Because seriously dude, step into the shower, wash the crust off your shoulders, and let brutal honesty go for a day. Just one day. Can you work that?
43. Aniccata - Jesus Christ, why are you still around? Every wrinkle tells a story and I’m shocked you aren’t a relic as the crow’s feet budding from your eyeballs tell me you’re as old as sin. Actually, you're probably older than that. But what's older than sin? I DON'T KNOW! Shouldn’t you be off courting the geriatric of Denver’s finest trying to pop a few babies out the puss and hoping your uterus hasn’t decomposed? Get off Livejournal you goddamn fossil! You are decaying, man. You are DECAYING!
42. Mikeyface/scarycanary - I’m not interested in viewing pictures of women with varying degrees of skank holding your Taco Bell treat in their right hands and finger fucking your a-hole with their lefts in an all too calculated attempt to create the impression that girls actually like you and would be keen on eating a short chubby Mexican minor who lives in a five by five cubby hole with his Seniorita. Who you foolin’? Not me, not me.
41. Uberdionysus - You’re about as fascinating as a brick wall. Only, you get more from a brick wall. Actually, you’re like the mortar in between the bricks that does nothing except sit there and disintegrate. I’ve found cheetos under my bed with more character than you. Cop a personality. Buy some flavor. Do something. And please Troy, please... treat that nauseating skin disease you have. They make an amazing cream for it. You don’t have to live like a grizzly bear.
Random Journal Entry #526: "I took some pictures today, hyuck hyuck. They look pixelated and shitty because I took them shitty and pixelated, but I'll just blame it on internet bandwidth issues because my name is Troy Swain and I love meeting internet girls and wooing them with my shitty pixelated pictures!"
Random Comment On Journal Entry #526: "Wow you are an awesome picture takerer. Can I suck your dick? I only hope to grow up and be half the hairy Greek you are." - hotlavamonster
40. Joffy - That whole “You make fun of me and I’ll annoy the hell out of you as a comeback because I’m really not clever enough to think of a sharp retort” style of commenting is becoming tired. You don’t annoy me, I just feel sorry for you. There comes a point in life when you want to say, “Hey, maybe I don’t wanna sound like a douchebag to everyone I come in contact with.” Something to ponder Emmers.
The following is an AIM conversation between joffy and avagabond after avagabond gave me back control over the community joffy was trying to e-terrorize. Let her words prove that internet friends shouldn't betray each other and that the internet is very damn well serious business.
thejoffy (4:30:41 PM): story?
lost in zanzibar (4:30:57 PM): Auto response from Biscuiteating: i bet you drive a shtick, yeah you'd drive a shtick
thejoffy (4:31:26 PM): what is this supposed to mean?
thejoffy (4:32:09 PM): JC i am thoroughly confused by what you did
thejoffy (4:32:14 PM): just explain. i am not mad.
thejoffy (4:33:30 PM): what did i do to make you hate me?
thejoffy (4:33:39 PM): i can't seem to link events together
lost in zanzibar (4:33:45 PM): Auto response from Biscuiteating: i bet you drive a shtick, yeah you'd drive a shtick
thejoffy (4:33:48 PM): oh come on
thejoffy (4:35:18 PM): one last time: what did i do to you?
thejoffy (4:35:23 PM): or was it just play?
thejoffy (4:35:49 PM): i am not upset. i just want to figure out what you, one of my best internet friends, are doing to me
"thejoffy" signed off at 4:36:10 PM.
I just want to figure out what you, one of my best internet friends, are doing to me.
39. Quasidan - Your layout makes me want to slash my eyeballs from their sockets and attach them to the rear of your head so you can have ten extra seconds to see me coming before I repeatedly stab you in your probably acne blanketed back for subjecting me to such cruelty. Speaking of cruelty, aren’t there some more ED articles you could brilliantly add your bland thoughts to? I don’t think there’s enough insight on the history of 1justin yet.
Edit: Oh you deleted your journal. Lollers.
38. Runfaster - I suppose crazy girls have to make a living too. You are the quintessential embodiment of the ground Livejournal is built upon. Your lies and narcissism only supplement the stereotype that the people of LJ should be raped, decapitated, and buried under public schools to marinate in idle bits of knowledge. I’m just waiting to see what other internet forums you’re going to lose your goddamn mind on.
37. subbes - You don’t need to open your mouth, ever. Just post titty pics. Nobody cares of your extensive knowledge of the Livjeournal inner workings or that you’ve been on Livejournal since it was created or whatever other inane nonsense you go on about. Women like you need to know their role and know their place. Just post titty pics.
That would be a hotter, more quieter you.
36. oh_the_ironing/mengus - OTI, alone, is like David Letterman on a mediocre day, pre-heart explosion. And mengus has his finer moments here and there. But when you put them together it’s like watching Andy Richter and Conan O’Brien rape the funny out of comedians who were already bone dry. Masturbatory testosterone filled whiny e-battles are so yesterday, like that one song by that Duff bitch. When reading Tydestra’s journal is the comfortable alternative to an OTI/Mengus fight, you know it’s time to qui, qui, qui, qui quit it.
Oh The Ironing: It's rather comical that you, a guy who's supposed to be one of the most hilarious people on Livejournal, a guy that hasn't said anything worthwhile since Cheney had his first colonoscopy, a guy that makes fun of other communities and users for being the dead on opposite of funny, haven't posted anything remotely entertaining in the oh, say, last six hundred and sixty five days. Do you want to explain that or do you just want to leave a really wordy comment with references to other things that are funny in an attempt to make your own comment seem funny?
Mengus: Livejournal is a forum that let's gay guys (like ooner and alex_jon, who wouldn't be worth two interesting shits in real life) come out of the closet and be okay with who they are. Why? Because nobody will ever see them or talk to them or meet them. So Meng, Lin, Linny, come on. COME on. Come on dude, just come on. You gonna come on? Because really, do you think we're fricking idiots here? Let me tell you this, no straight guy would wear this. Ever.
35. Original_copy - We all know attractiveness rating communities are for insecure white girls and homosexuals. But what do you get when an insecure homosexual, who’s fixated on telling us Gothicbra is a MAN (probably so he can sleep easy at night), participates in a rating community, and not only a rating community, but the rating community that claims it’s the biggest sweetest rating community on this side of the internet? What does one get? Well, the word GAYASHELL comes to mind.
34. Megabass - Metal pipes, billiard rooms, and Mr. Mustard won’t even clue you in on the current status of punk. But hey, let’s not be superfluous because evidently big black boots from Hot Topic paired with ripped trailer trash dirty white T-shirts with cool Peta activist phrases on them are rebellious as hell! Yeah! No, you’re not square. No no. You’re a circle, man! And circle always gets the square! Yeah!
33. Finestdrops - I just envision you waxing philosophical in front of your mother’s Dell racking your brain to think of new unfunny ways to throw broken arrows at indiefucks while pondering, “Haaaay maybe we could flip this dead horse on it’s other side and prolong beating the shit out of it,” while eating a bowl of Chef Boyardee as you halfheartedly listen to Trading Spaces on TV and the subtle hum of your mother vacuuming in the next room. Mundane doesn’t do it justice.
32. Kagetoh - It’s like a little mini-me walking around rapping the you know what living the you know who and pretending to be something he’s not. Ship’s already sunk, but he’s still trying to make the cruise. Guys, do you like my journal? Does it read like its forged? I’m not good with rejection. Where do I board the ship? Guys? Can I be a reviewer? I want to review journals. Can I review? Guys? Guys? Do you like imitation crab? Or do you want the real McCoy? I’m real, I swear. Just let me review! Guys?
31. Lostcosmonaut - We have a sufficient amount of illegal Mexicans playing hooky with the border. As such, we’ve pretty much met our allocation of people who butcher the English language. We all know good and well that you speak faultless English. Therefore you shouldn’t write like someone who just got off the Ellis boat. That cute thing you do with shaving letters off the ends of words and substituting Z’s for S’s ain’t so cute. Lose the gimmick. It ain’t cool. It ain’t cool.
30. Ohsnap - It’s not her biting wit. It’s not her luxurious looks. It’s not her fly internet diary. It’s not her devotion to those farcical list communities. Then what exactly is it about her? Maybe it's the "I'm a cunt online because I'm a fat chick in real life and this is the online forum where people will set me up the attention bomb, well besides frat boys who make out with because they're too drunk to actually see that they're kissing a dinosaur" complex. Why don’t you get your B.A. in “How to fucking flame” before you cruise the internet spilling scabies out of your mouth like it was Pamela Anderson’s pussy on a good day.
29. Takumi_ - Dude was rather chill while he was on my friends list until he committed suicide. I could deal with the random entries and the nerdy gameboy obsession. But honestly, if you have to worry about your moms discovering your internet secrecy then maybe you shouldn’t have a life on the internet. Sorry bro.
28. hooper_x - I love how the internet allows people like hoop, who would otherwise be a speck of a fucking dust in the corner of your house and at the back of your mind, to not seem so trivially mundane. The internet has this way of making extraordinarily ordinary people seem less boring. I mean really, the dude is a scifi convention fanboy who masturbates to the Transformers and George Lucas. Doesn’t that sound like every other loser who was ignored in your high school?
He’s the type of guy you would expect to see fan pictures in his userinfo to ironically affirm his coolness. But I don’t think anybody in their right mind would want their face associated with this moron. So he settles for quotes declaring how funny he his. I’m still trying to figure that one out because this guy is about as funny as a Jerry Seinfeld impression.
"you fire rockets of funny at unsuspecting bystanders and the carnage is hilarious" - killhamster.
Steve. Steve, man. Stevie, come on. If anything, he is the complete opposite and his journal could be democratic propaganda for abortion.
The fact alone that he signs his entries and comments with a signature like he’s writing us a fucking internet letter is warrant enough for somebody to beat the utter shit out of him.
27. Unaware - You also like making fun of others for not being funny when you yourself are ridiculously not funny. You are the poor man’s oh_the_ironing. Which is to say if I couldn’t afford someone to be not funny and OTI was out doing whatever it is old men do, I would request your services. Maybe you could tell me that deleting my journal when someone makes a fool of me is REALLY FUNNY, you know, kind of like what you did some months ago. I don't think you could be any more unaware if you tried.
26. Pugofwar Why does every Livejournal user have some stupid gimmick? Why can’t they write with some semblance of sanity? In all sincerity, I like you, I do. But the third person act has got to go. It makes me want to traipse to the top of Mount St. Helen, spoon hot lava into a thermos, and throw it onto your face so it heats up your skin and your pores open to release sweat only to have hot lava fill your pores and burn you from the inside out. Your journal entries are about as contrived as Nicky Hilton's celebrity status. Commenting to yourself is lame. Don't do it, don't do it.
25. girlvinyl - A goth.
24. cynical5679 - What the fuck is this? An AOL chatroom? "5,678 other usernames with the word cynical were taken. So I thought I'd be eighth grade cool and take the 5679th one because cynical is such a remarkable username in the first place." I often wonder how people can have nothing worthwhile to say, ever. You’d think that something would occur during their daily routine worth talking about. Seriously, you couldn't be more boring watching Ricki Lake and eating a bag of Fritos. I can only think of one person more stale than you, katryxx. Here, I'll even help you out.
23. Efface - Just a ‘Sarah Plain and Tall’ living in boring Ohio putting the Plain Jane phrase to shame and hoping her goth Amy Lee like modeling website will catapult her somewhere else. Like into the arms of a man. Or a job that doesn’t deal with pruning flowers. Sleepless in boring Ohio? Never said it better.
22. Biscuiteater - Well duh. Doesn’t this post say it all? Dumb moron who thinks he knows shit about shit? Like you can gain insight on a person’s merit or worth by reading two entries. It doesn’t rain because moisture condenses in the atmosphere; it rains because Freud is pissing on you. Quit acting like you don’t know nothing about something. Here’s five dollars, go by yourself 250 new sets of two cent opinions and a head to put them in.
21. Avagabond - She lives in San Franciso and attends white parties and pink parties and “insert color” parties and nobody has realized that she’s a les’? The only annoying thing about her is that nobody knows what she looks like and we’re left wondering if she’s got some junk in the back of her Ford F-150.
My guess as to what she looks like would have to be:
However, this is probably more accurate.
20. 10fags - I laugh in the general direction of people who waste their time deciphering the cryptic messages of frivolous trolls. However, I have to hand it to Mr. Fags. Bravo! Your modus operandi was mediocre but you delivered! It mattered not that you lied and overly contradicted yourself. Internet pigeons flocked to your journal and shat attention all over your sexy coifed head.
19. 1justin/yesthat1justin - Further proof that the Canadian internet shouldn’t be connected to the American internet. Truth be told, the Canadian internet shouldn’t really be connected to anything. Maybe Greenland, but other than that.. nothing. I don’t suppose anyone finds you in the least bit annoying. But you’re like a little bug scampering across the ground, directionless, lifeless, that people happen to come across and step on for no reason other than the pure satisfaction of ending a miniscule meaningless life.
18. _fap_ - Livejournal gimmick like features, check. Troll like features, check. Underscores in username, check. Participation in salj related communities, check. Entries that make no sense, check. Real life identity concealed, check. Proving your heterosexuality by obsessing over a cute red head’s boobs, check. Just another less than average joe using the internet to seem more average than he really is, check. You'd think with the eight millionth Livejournal gimmick online someone would use five seconds of the time they spent creating a Livejournal to buy a clue and realize gimmicks are older than aniccata.
17. Mwells - Where there is space there is land. Wherever there is land there are stores. Wherever there are stores there are condoms. Wherever there are condoms there are cocks. Wherever there are cocks there is Mwells. If you got Mwells, then you got bitches. Bitches always out to put their paws on attention. If you got attention, then you got the power. Fat faced punks are always out for the glory. This is stupid, but so are you and I'm just going to let the two cancel each other out.
16. Theotherday - One would need several fire extinguishers to quench the pretentious flames and ash spewing from Jeffrey's genereal direction. Never was there such a pompous Australian artfuck whose smug snobbery wilted away any humanity within a mile radius. Even his ego has an ego. He’s exactly like that ultra cool kid in high school that didn’t associate with anyone who wasn’t pretty enough or more prettier than him.
15. Westbaymonument - It’s one of those pathetic “Crew” community groupie sluts. You and your kind are just a little bit lamer than someone who would go through the trouble of creating a post about annoying users like, well… you. Let’s get to what you do best though. Here’s a list. Give me your top twenty on why you’re such a fucking idiot, while you lick twenty spots of scum off the bottom of my boots.
14. Chaossix6 - He’s the black guy you see on the subway wearing a tired ‘I love NY’ T-shirt with those stupid red hearts in place of the word love, passing out wallet sized shirtless photos of Tobey Maguire, not because he’s a homosexual (no no), but because he thinks Spiderman is his dad or some crap. Even though Spidey’s clearly cracker like, this nignig remains in a constant state of denial. And ladies if you're looking for this big black bear to cuddle up with at night, you can find him in Uncle Tom's cabin. Or purchase his ass off ebay, slave chains sold seperately.
13. meupatdoes - I don’t understand how somebody could be so bitter about everything. It’s not like someone broke a broom in half and jammed the jagged edge into your rectum, raped you until you bled, defiling the clean white 400 count sheets your daddy gave you on your sixteenth birthday and then proceeded to scalp you with a knife and etch away a layer of skin disfiguring your pretty face forever. Unless of course they did, in which case, I understand why you’re such a bitch.
12. Mediacrat drama - Nothing more needs to be said. Ever.
11. Duffey - You’re only annoying because the whole ‘I want girls to talk to me. Why won’t girls talk to me? Please let the girls talk to me!’ complex has infiltrated every facet of culture since the dawn of time, from movies, to TV, to geeky high school nerds. It’s old, it’s trite, it’s annoying, give it up. If you can’t find a girl that will even acknowledge your existence maybe it’s time to point your dick 180 degrees in the other direction.
10. Bobbola - Tell your daughters and nieces to beware of skinny pale Arizonian boys who lure young poon on the internet. Perverts are gonna be perverts, but you can always be aware of your local perverts. Someone should lobby the government to air more of those ineffective ‘Sex Can Wait’ commercials on Arizona broadcast TV. At least when your daughter is locked down in Brian Brazer’s kinky sex basement she can sit there and think over her stupidity and why she thought those commercials were lame.
9. Pdanielson - Your journal reads like a textbook written by an egomaniacal megalomaniac professor. The overuse of links, the smug sense of superiority, the CNN like headlines, the politics no one cares about, the perpetuated bravado, the half man half awesome mantra, the funny you try to elicit, the gross use of body icons, and well I’m not really going anywhere with this one except to say shut up.
8. Chrissmari - She tries way too hard at everything. This girl is gunning for the queen of cock sucking, and yet no matter how many cocks she sucks, she always seems to be one stroke away from being important or cared about. It must be difficult taking all those balls to the chin as I’m sure you suck almost as hard as a hooker on 8 mile who just dropped E and now has lockjaw so she can't actually fucking let go of the dick that her lips are wrapped around.
You might be interested in purchasing one of these:
Nobody cares, Chrissie Marie, nobody cares.
7. Total_glexile - It’s not so much Glexi, but the people who hate Glexi that are morons. Saying “She’s a slut. She’s a dumbass. She’s a camwhore. She’s a liar and a cheat and her pussy’s probably on fire.” Okay, who cares? We’ve heard it all before. Do yourselves the favor of shutting up. Don’t you have anything else lame to do with your time, like informing Avril Lavigne that she’s not punk’s savior?
6. Hepkitten - You remind me of those dumb blondes who pick up creeps in bars so they sign up for dating shows like Blind Date or The 5th Wheel only to meet more creeps and complain on national TV about the creepiness of the guys they meet, while never once realizing that it’s them because blonde hair dye is actually leaking into their already decrepit brains. Except in your case, I guess it would be really really ugly lesbians.
5. Ashcanprobably - You know you’re my brother from a Mexican mother. But I have to call you out because if you were anymore full of yourself your testes would actually retract into your lungs and you’d have hot cum bubbling out of your nostrils for weeks. Yeah you can write. Yeah you have a right to be cocky. But chill on the whole superiority complex.
You’re exactly like those hipster dipshits that claim they listen to the sweetest most awesome obscure bands. Only, in your case it’s the sweetest most awesome obscure books instead of bands and authors nobody’s ever heard of instead of artists. It's like you think you've earned the right to be pretentious and a total asshole to anyone who's not you. We get that you’re smart and booky and have street credibility to be around. Just, you know, take the cock in your cocky down a couple of pegs and come back to Earth like the rest of us. We’ll appreciate it.
4. Dgt2 - I’m not going to try to be snarky. You’ve gotten to the point where you annoy me. You were better off as stupid Livejournal gimmick because then you were semi funny. Now you’re nothing more than a bucket full of feces. You know what, you’re not even worthy of being described as bucket full of feces. You’re lower than feces. Whatever is lower than that, you’re under that. You claim to have gone under this e-transformation in which you’re sick of the very same “internet shit” you’re testament to commit. You acting non gimmicky on the internet would be like Michael Jackson trying to be black. They’re just two things that are never going to happen.
It irks me solid when the ugliest people post pictures of themselves and their dumb friends list (out of what must be the purest form of pity) say that they’re good looking. Yeah he’s good looking if you like busted ugly motherfuckers. We all know the “you’re cute” comments have no business in Dgt’s journal. If you’re sick of all the “internet shit” spamming your e-life, rectify the fucking problem. You’re a joke fat boy, you’re a joke.
3. Sostark - Everything Paige does is great. She invented random_review, great. She gave us “lolz” at audio-lj, great. She has a personal website, great. She’s funny, great.
I honestly wish everyone would step off her nutsac and remove their mouths from her asshole. This chick could write a post about the complexities of air and all of her Livejournal fans would crap themselves crazy scrambling to be the first person to post “That’s so poignant. I wish I was you. Wow Paige you are an amazing writer. Can I be you for a day?”
And when she posts a picture of her ass (let me remind you, the same ass that drops a deuce in the toilet two or three hours after dinner) her friends list loses their goddamn minds. "Oh Paige, you’re so beautiful." "Your ass is so fresh. You're hot. I'd hit it." Excuse me, but what the fuck is a fresh ass?
The one thing I laugh at everytime she does it, because she emulates fifteen year old middle school girls with the "Friends Only Bitches" banners in their journal, is when she does a friends cut. "I cut people off my friends list today for blah blah reasons and I find it funny that they whine about it on AIM/email to me." O RLY? It's like she knows she's doing people a favor by having them on her friends list, like it's some honorable shit. She kind of insinuates that she's such a high and mighty LJ God that being associated with her will make you look cool.
Paige makes fun of emo kids who take upside down angled photos so we can’t see their ugly faces. But if you look at her pictures you’ll realize she does the exact same thing. Except she likes to take pictures of her neck, like she’s waiting for a nazi vampire to come suck on her or something. Yeah, I don't get it either.
2. Shamroq - I’ve always wondered what it would be like to lick the bottom of your taint and once I got down on my knees I was kind of unimpressed and questioning why all the cool kids wanted to be down there. There’s nothing really special about you. Except you’re married to a hottie and I thought you would have to be a little bit funny to lock that down. But let me clue you in on one fact you seem to be missing out on, you're not funny. So how you're keeping that hottie within penis reach is a question for another day. Unless of course she's cheating on you with Luis, because he's just the kind of asshole to do that.
I don’t get what’s so neat about you, so let me lay one of my lame analogies down. You’re like a cool kid. A cool kid that all the other kids want to follow simply because they want to be associated with something cool. They don’t necessarily have to like you and whether they do or not is irrelevant. It’s all about faking it, just to conform, just to fit in, just to be one of the cool kids. That’s what socialization is about.
1. Inawhile/prime_radiant - Like anything I write will do justice in explaining how sweet and bodacious this chick is. But let me digress. Elina, I know you’re superior to us mere mortals. And I know the internet is inane and trivial to you. And I know you’re not serious business. And I know you use internet speak in that oh so ironic way. And I know the world rotates around your pretty Russian head. And I know us humans must look like ants from way up there on your cloud revolving around God's face. So Elina...
Let me say one last thing.
Livejournal’s 50 Most Annoying Users
Because I don’t have a life to occupy myself with or friends to call my own and my family has long since abandoned me. If it wasn’t for the internet, I’d probably be ass up in a Los Angeles ditch waiting the fifteen weeks it would take for someone to discover my sun bleached body. Color me pathetic.
Cliché statements blanketed, this is kind of like a cross between those lame VH1 countdowns in which celebrity nobodies attempt to masquerade their jealousy as something witty and Maxim’s Hot 100 list where all the ugly ana girls make the top twenty. Only this is fifty times worse because I’m a moron. I mean cool.
Continue To LJ’s 50 Most Annoying Users
50. Katyowns - You are the ugliest fucking girl I have ever seen. Man, are you hideous. You are what I imagine a real life chia pet would look like before it grows its head full of chia. Your face is legendary. It would make the boogeyman cower in fear. If I came across you in a well lit alley, I’d turn the lights out and run the other fucking way. I only hope the military doesn’t harness the power of your face and use it as a biological weapon in warfare as we’d all be doomed.
You could only be the spawn of...
this
plus this
49. Pasdesilence - Instead of making fun of stupid fourteen year old chicken heads who think “I just threw up in my mouth a little” or “You make baby Jesus cry” comments are witty in regards to that one community about fashion faux-pas and celebrity titties, we had to waste our time wishing pain on the bitter chunky ex-mod who cares all too much about internet regulation. Nobody wants to hear you gripe anymore. Seal the fat lip and pass the silence on. Oh no you didn’t! Oh yes I damn did.
48. Dancingdrew - In high school, the geeks never spoke out of line or whined because we put their asses in check with daily face bashings and clique humiliations. This is what happens when a nerd grows a pair and decides to speak up. Clearly someone needs to one two step on over to Tacoma, Washington and put the old Wayne Brady ‘choke a bitch’ hold around his neck to keep him from further expressing his thoughts.
47. Njyoder - It’s so obvious you’re under the false impression that somebody gives a shit about the droplets of cum veiled as insults that dribble out of your crusty mouth. I wonder who deluded you to believe your opinion was worth anything more than a 25 cent gumball from a candy machine. When I want your opinion, I’ll put a quarter in your asshole. Until then, keep it to yourself pops.
Usually people who are small overcompensate for their size by hitting the gym to work on their upper body strength so they don't seem so pointless or miniscule. I guess you overcompensate by never shutting the fuck up. You think midget jokes are tired? Well here, this one isn't a joke. What happens when you put in a midget in a blender? They die.
46. Ruxpin_exe - You are kinda like Celine Dion, in the sense that nobody really wants you. Not Canada. Not the States. Not Livejournal. But we allow you to exist simply because it’s too taxing to take you out and if we did, Satan would no doubt send one of his soul suckers after us. Someone should let Brad Fitz know we’re at our balding, beady eyed, pasty faced Canadian quota for the month. One Celine Dion is one Celine Dion too many.
45. Misoconfused - Your hair is gorgeous dude. It’s so luxurious and silky. Just plain beautiful. What do you put in that shit? Pert? Selsun Blue? Herbal Essences? Ground up baby meat? Paprika? The way you get it to look ludicrous day after day is something only you can accomplish and I’m completely jealous of all the pussies you’re gonna catch with your jammin’ do.
44. Sdx - I almost decided not to state that you mustn’t have a job, or a life, or friends in the interest of not being cliché (triple double negative). But I got the hell over it and I’m wondering if internet modding is the only thing you have running for you. Because seriously dude, step into the shower, wash the crust off your shoulders, and let brutal honesty go for a day. Just one day. Can you work that?
43. Aniccata - Jesus Christ, why are you still around? Every wrinkle tells a story and I’m shocked you aren’t a relic as the crow’s feet budding from your eyeballs tell me you’re as old as sin. Actually, you're probably older than that. But what's older than sin? I DON'T KNOW! Shouldn’t you be off courting the geriatric of Denver’s finest trying to pop a few babies out the puss and hoping your uterus hasn’t decomposed? Get off Livejournal you goddamn fossil! You are decaying, man. You are DECAYING!
42. Mikeyface/scarycanary - I’m not interested in viewing pictures of women with varying degrees of skank holding your Taco Bell treat in their right hands and finger fucking your a-hole with their lefts in an all too calculated attempt to create the impression that girls actually like you and would be keen on eating a short chubby Mexican minor who lives in a five by five cubby hole with his Seniorita. Who you foolin’? Not me, not me.
41. Uberdionysus - You’re about as fascinating as a brick wall. Only, you get more from a brick wall. Actually, you’re like the mortar in between the bricks that does nothing except sit there and disintegrate. I’ve found cheetos under my bed with more character than you. Cop a personality. Buy some flavor. Do something. And please Troy, please... treat that nauseating skin disease you have. They make an amazing cream for it. You don’t have to live like a grizzly bear.
Random Journal Entry #526: "I took some pictures today, hyuck hyuck. They look pixelated and shitty because I took them shitty and pixelated, but I'll just blame it on internet bandwidth issues because my name is Troy Swain and I love meeting internet girls and wooing them with my shitty pixelated pictures!"
Random Comment On Journal Entry #526: "Wow you are an awesome picture takerer. Can I suck your dick? I only hope to grow up and be half the hairy Greek you are." - hotlavamonster
40. Joffy - That whole “You make fun of me and I’ll annoy the hell out of you as a comeback because I’m really not clever enough to think of a sharp retort” style of commenting is becoming tired. You don’t annoy me, I just feel sorry for you. There comes a point in life when you want to say, “Hey, maybe I don’t wanna sound like a douchebag to everyone I come in contact with.” Something to ponder Emmers.
The following is an AIM conversation between joffy and avagabond after avagabond gave me back control over the community joffy was trying to e-terrorize. Let her words prove that internet friends shouldn't betray each other and that the internet is very damn well serious business.
thejoffy (4:30:41 PM): story?
lost in zanzibar (4:30:57 PM): Auto response from Biscuiteating: i bet you drive a shtick, yeah you'd drive a shtick
thejoffy (4:31:26 PM): what is this supposed to mean?
thejoffy (4:32:09 PM): JC i am thoroughly confused by what you did
thejoffy (4:32:14 PM): just explain. i am not mad.
thejoffy (4:33:30 PM): what did i do to make you hate me?
thejoffy (4:33:39 PM): i can't seem to link events together
lost in zanzibar (4:33:45 PM): Auto response from Biscuiteating: i bet you drive a shtick, yeah you'd drive a shtick
thejoffy (4:33:48 PM): oh come on
thejoffy (4:35:18 PM): one last time: what did i do to you?
thejoffy (4:35:23 PM): or was it just play?
thejoffy (4:35:49 PM): i am not upset. i just want to figure out what you, one of my best internet friends, are doing to me
"thejoffy" signed off at 4:36:10 PM.
I just want to figure out what you, one of my best internet friends, are doing to me.
39. Quasidan - Your layout makes me want to slash my eyeballs from their sockets and attach them to the rear of your head so you can have ten extra seconds to see me coming before I repeatedly stab you in your probably acne blanketed back for subjecting me to such cruelty. Speaking of cruelty, aren’t there some more ED articles you could brilliantly add your bland thoughts to? I don’t think there’s enough insight on the history of 1justin yet.
Edit: Oh you deleted your journal. Lollers.
38. Runfaster - I suppose crazy girls have to make a living too. You are the quintessential embodiment of the ground Livejournal is built upon. Your lies and narcissism only supplement the stereotype that the people of LJ should be raped, decapitated, and buried under public schools to marinate in idle bits of knowledge. I’m just waiting to see what other internet forums you’re going to lose your goddamn mind on.
37. subbes - You don’t need to open your mouth, ever. Just post titty pics. Nobody cares of your extensive knowledge of the Livjeournal inner workings or that you’ve been on Livejournal since it was created or whatever other inane nonsense you go on about. Women like you need to know their role and know their place. Just post titty pics.
That would be a hotter, more quieter you.
36. oh_the_ironing/mengus - OTI, alone, is like David Letterman on a mediocre day, pre-heart explosion. And mengus has his finer moments here and there. But when you put them together it’s like watching Andy Richter and Conan O’Brien rape the funny out of comedians who were already bone dry. Masturbatory testosterone filled whiny e-battles are so yesterday, like that one song by that Duff bitch. When reading Tydestra’s journal is the comfortable alternative to an OTI/Mengus fight, you know it’s time to qui, qui, qui, qui quit it.
Oh The Ironing: It's rather comical that you, a guy who's supposed to be one of the most hilarious people on Livejournal, a guy that hasn't said anything worthwhile since Cheney had his first colonoscopy, a guy that makes fun of other communities and users for being the dead on opposite of funny, haven't posted anything remotely entertaining in the oh, say, last six hundred and sixty five days. Do you want to explain that or do you just want to leave a really wordy comment with references to other things that are funny in an attempt to make your own comment seem funny?
Mengus: Livejournal is a forum that let's gay guys (like ooner and alex_jon, who wouldn't be worth two interesting shits in real life) come out of the closet and be okay with who they are. Why? Because nobody will ever see them or talk to them or meet them. So Meng, Lin, Linny, come on. COME on. Come on dude, just come on. You gonna come on? Because really, do you think we're fricking idiots here? Let me tell you this, no straight guy would wear this. Ever.
35. Original_copy - We all know attractiveness rating communities are for insecure white girls and homosexuals. But what do you get when an insecure homosexual, who’s fixated on telling us Gothicbra is a MAN (probably so he can sleep easy at night), participates in a rating community, and not only a rating community, but the rating community that claims it’s the biggest sweetest rating community on this side of the internet? What does one get? Well, the word GAYASHELL comes to mind.
34. Megabass - Metal pipes, billiard rooms, and Mr. Mustard won’t even clue you in on the current status of punk. But hey, let’s not be superfluous because evidently big black boots from Hot Topic paired with ripped trailer trash dirty white T-shirts with cool Peta activist phrases on them are rebellious as hell! Yeah! No, you’re not square. No no. You’re a circle, man! And circle always gets the square! Yeah!
33. Finestdrops - I just envision you waxing philosophical in front of your mother’s Dell racking your brain to think of new unfunny ways to throw broken arrows at indiefucks while pondering, “Haaaay maybe we could flip this dead horse on it’s other side and prolong beating the shit out of it,” while eating a bowl of Chef Boyardee as you halfheartedly listen to Trading Spaces on TV and the subtle hum of your mother vacuuming in the next room. Mundane doesn’t do it justice.
32. Kagetoh - It’s like a little mini-me walking around rapping the you know what living the you know who and pretending to be something he’s not. Ship’s already sunk, but he’s still trying to make the cruise. Guys, do you like my journal? Does it read like its forged? I’m not good with rejection. Where do I board the ship? Guys? Can I be a reviewer? I want to review journals. Can I review? Guys? Guys? Do you like imitation crab? Or do you want the real McCoy? I’m real, I swear. Just let me review! Guys?
31. Lostcosmonaut - We have a sufficient amount of illegal Mexicans playing hooky with the border. As such, we’ve pretty much met our allocation of people who butcher the English language. We all know good and well that you speak faultless English. Therefore you shouldn’t write like someone who just got off the Ellis boat. That cute thing you do with shaving letters off the ends of words and substituting Z’s for S’s ain’t so cute. Lose the gimmick. It ain’t cool. It ain’t cool.
30. Ohsnap - It’s not her biting wit. It’s not her luxurious looks. It’s not her fly internet diary. It’s not her devotion to those farcical list communities. Then what exactly is it about her? Maybe it's the "I'm a cunt online because I'm a fat chick in real life and this is the online forum where people will set me up the attention bomb, well besides frat boys who make out with because they're too drunk to actually see that they're kissing a dinosaur" complex. Why don’t you get your B.A. in “How to fucking flame” before you cruise the internet spilling scabies out of your mouth like it was Pamela Anderson’s pussy on a good day.
29. Takumi_ - Dude was rather chill while he was on my friends list until he committed suicide. I could deal with the random entries and the nerdy gameboy obsession. But honestly, if you have to worry about your moms discovering your internet secrecy then maybe you shouldn’t have a life on the internet. Sorry bro.
28. hooper_x - I love how the internet allows people like hoop, who would otherwise be a speck of a fucking dust in the corner of your house and at the back of your mind, to not seem so trivially mundane. The internet has this way of making extraordinarily ordinary people seem less boring. I mean really, the dude is a scifi convention fanboy who masturbates to the Transformers and George Lucas. Doesn’t that sound like every other loser who was ignored in your high school?
He’s the type of guy you would expect to see fan pictures in his userinfo to ironically affirm his coolness. But I don’t think anybody in their right mind would want their face associated with this moron. So he settles for quotes declaring how funny he his. I’m still trying to figure that one out because this guy is about as funny as a Jerry Seinfeld impression.
"you fire rockets of funny at unsuspecting bystanders and the carnage is hilarious" - killhamster.
Steve. Steve, man. Stevie, come on. If anything, he is the complete opposite and his journal could be democratic propaganda for abortion.
The fact alone that he signs his entries and comments with a signature like he’s writing us a fucking internet letter is warrant enough for somebody to beat the utter shit out of him.
27. Unaware - You also like making fun of others for not being funny when you yourself are ridiculously not funny. You are the poor man’s oh_the_ironing. Which is to say if I couldn’t afford someone to be not funny and OTI was out doing whatever it is old men do, I would request your services. Maybe you could tell me that deleting my journal when someone makes a fool of me is REALLY FUNNY, you know, kind of like what you did some months ago. I don't think you could be any more unaware if you tried.
26. Pugofwar Why does every Livejournal user have some stupid gimmick? Why can’t they write with some semblance of sanity? In all sincerity, I like you, I do. But the third person act has got to go. It makes me want to traipse to the top of Mount St. Helen, spoon hot lava into a thermos, and throw it onto your face so it heats up your skin and your pores open to release sweat only to have hot lava fill your pores and burn you from the inside out. Your journal entries are about as contrived as Nicky Hilton's celebrity status. Commenting to yourself is lame. Don't do it, don't do it.
25. girlvinyl - A goth.
24. cynical5679 - What the fuck is this? An AOL chatroom? "5,678 other usernames with the word cynical were taken. So I thought I'd be eighth grade cool and take the 5679th one because cynical is such a remarkable username in the first place." I often wonder how people can have nothing worthwhile to say, ever. You’d think that something would occur during their daily routine worth talking about. Seriously, you couldn't be more boring watching Ricki Lake and eating a bag of Fritos. I can only think of one person more stale than you, katryxx. Here, I'll even help you out.
23. Efface - Just a ‘Sarah Plain and Tall’ living in boring Ohio putting the Plain Jane phrase to shame and hoping her goth Amy Lee like modeling website will catapult her somewhere else. Like into the arms of a man. Or a job that doesn’t deal with pruning flowers. Sleepless in boring Ohio? Never said it better.
22. Biscuiteater - Well duh. Doesn’t this post say it all? Dumb moron who thinks he knows shit about shit? Like you can gain insight on a person’s merit or worth by reading two entries. It doesn’t rain because moisture condenses in the atmosphere; it rains because Freud is pissing on you. Quit acting like you don’t know nothing about something. Here’s five dollars, go by yourself 250 new sets of two cent opinions and a head to put them in.
21. Avagabond - She lives in San Franciso and attends white parties and pink parties and “insert color” parties and nobody has realized that she’s a les’? The only annoying thing about her is that nobody knows what she looks like and we’re left wondering if she’s got some junk in the back of her Ford F-150.
My guess as to what she looks like would have to be:
However, this is probably more accurate.
20. 10fags - I laugh in the general direction of people who waste their time deciphering the cryptic messages of frivolous trolls. However, I have to hand it to Mr. Fags. Bravo! Your modus operandi was mediocre but you delivered! It mattered not that you lied and overly contradicted yourself. Internet pigeons flocked to your journal and shat attention all over your sexy coifed head.
19. 1justin/yesthat1justin - Further proof that the Canadian internet shouldn’t be connected to the American internet. Truth be told, the Canadian internet shouldn’t really be connected to anything. Maybe Greenland, but other than that.. nothing. I don’t suppose anyone finds you in the least bit annoying. But you’re like a little bug scampering across the ground, directionless, lifeless, that people happen to come across and step on for no reason other than the pure satisfaction of ending a miniscule meaningless life.
18. _fap_ - Livejournal gimmick like features, check. Troll like features, check. Underscores in username, check. Participation in salj related communities, check. Entries that make no sense, check. Real life identity concealed, check. Proving your heterosexuality by obsessing over a cute red head’s boobs, check. Just another less than average joe using the internet to seem more average than he really is, check. You'd think with the eight millionth Livejournal gimmick online someone would use five seconds of the time they spent creating a Livejournal to buy a clue and realize gimmicks are older than aniccata.
17. Mwells - Where there is space there is land. Wherever there is land there are stores. Wherever there are stores there are condoms. Wherever there are condoms there are cocks. Wherever there are cocks there is Mwells. If you got Mwells, then you got bitches. Bitches always out to put their paws on attention. If you got attention, then you got the power. Fat faced punks are always out for the glory. This is stupid, but so are you and I'm just going to let the two cancel each other out.
16. Theotherday - One would need several fire extinguishers to quench the pretentious flames and ash spewing from Jeffrey's genereal direction. Never was there such a pompous Australian artfuck whose smug snobbery wilted away any humanity within a mile radius. Even his ego has an ego. He’s exactly like that ultra cool kid in high school that didn’t associate with anyone who wasn’t pretty enough or more prettier than him.
15. Westbaymonument - It’s one of those pathetic “Crew” community groupie sluts. You and your kind are just a little bit lamer than someone who would go through the trouble of creating a post about annoying users like, well… you. Let’s get to what you do best though. Here’s a list. Give me your top twenty on why you’re such a fucking idiot, while you lick twenty spots of scum off the bottom of my boots.
14. Chaossix6 - He’s the black guy you see on the subway wearing a tired ‘I love NY’ T-shirt with those stupid red hearts in place of the word love, passing out wallet sized shirtless photos of Tobey Maguire, not because he’s a homosexual (no no), but because he thinks Spiderman is his dad or some crap. Even though Spidey’s clearly cracker like, this nignig remains in a constant state of denial. And ladies if you're looking for this big black bear to cuddle up with at night, you can find him in Uncle Tom's cabin. Or purchase his ass off ebay, slave chains sold seperately.
13. meupatdoes - I don’t understand how somebody could be so bitter about everything. It’s not like someone broke a broom in half and jammed the jagged edge into your rectum, raped you until you bled, defiling the clean white 400 count sheets your daddy gave you on your sixteenth birthday and then proceeded to scalp you with a knife and etch away a layer of skin disfiguring your pretty face forever. Unless of course they did, in which case, I understand why you’re such a bitch.
12. Mediacrat drama - Nothing more needs to be said. Ever.
11. Duffey - You’re only annoying because the whole ‘I want girls to talk to me. Why won’t girls talk to me? Please let the girls talk to me!’ complex has infiltrated every facet of culture since the dawn of time, from movies, to TV, to geeky high school nerds. It’s old, it’s trite, it’s annoying, give it up. If you can’t find a girl that will even acknowledge your existence maybe it’s time to point your dick 180 degrees in the other direction.
10. Bobbola - Tell your daughters and nieces to beware of skinny pale Arizonian boys who lure young poon on the internet. Perverts are gonna be perverts, but you can always be aware of your local perverts. Someone should lobby the government to air more of those ineffective ‘Sex Can Wait’ commercials on Arizona broadcast TV. At least when your daughter is locked down in Brian Brazer’s kinky sex basement she can sit there and think over her stupidity and why she thought those commercials were lame.
9. Pdanielson - Your journal reads like a textbook written by an egomaniacal megalomaniac professor. The overuse of links, the smug sense of superiority, the CNN like headlines, the politics no one cares about, the perpetuated bravado, the half man half awesome mantra, the funny you try to elicit, the gross use of body icons, and well I’m not really going anywhere with this one except to say shut up.
8. Chrissmari - She tries way too hard at everything. This girl is gunning for the queen of cock sucking, and yet no matter how many cocks she sucks, she always seems to be one stroke away from being important or cared about. It must be difficult taking all those balls to the chin as I’m sure you suck almost as hard as a hooker on 8 mile who just dropped E and now has lockjaw so she can't actually fucking let go of the dick that her lips are wrapped around.
You might be interested in purchasing one of these:
Nobody cares, Chrissie Marie, nobody cares.
7. Total_glexile - It’s not so much Glexi, but the people who hate Glexi that are morons. Saying “She’s a slut. She’s a dumbass. She’s a camwhore. She’s a liar and a cheat and her pussy’s probably on fire.” Okay, who cares? We’ve heard it all before. Do yourselves the favor of shutting up. Don’t you have anything else lame to do with your time, like informing Avril Lavigne that she’s not punk’s savior?
6. Hepkitten - You remind me of those dumb blondes who pick up creeps in bars so they sign up for dating shows like Blind Date or The 5th Wheel only to meet more creeps and complain on national TV about the creepiness of the guys they meet, while never once realizing that it’s them because blonde hair dye is actually leaking into their already decrepit brains. Except in your case, I guess it would be really really ugly lesbians.
5. Ashcanprobably - You know you’re my brother from a Mexican mother. But I have to call you out because if you were anymore full of yourself your testes would actually retract into your lungs and you’d have hot cum bubbling out of your nostrils for weeks. Yeah you can write. Yeah you have a right to be cocky. But chill on the whole superiority complex.
You’re exactly like those hipster dipshits that claim they listen to the sweetest most awesome obscure bands. Only, in your case it’s the sweetest most awesome obscure books instead of bands and authors nobody’s ever heard of instead of artists. It's like you think you've earned the right to be pretentious and a total asshole to anyone who's not you. We get that you’re smart and booky and have street credibility to be around. Just, you know, take the cock in your cocky down a couple of pegs and come back to Earth like the rest of us. We’ll appreciate it.
4. Dgt2 - I’m not going to try to be snarky. You’ve gotten to the point where you annoy me. You were better off as stupid Livejournal gimmick because then you were semi funny. Now you’re nothing more than a bucket full of feces. You know what, you’re not even worthy of being described as bucket full of feces. You’re lower than feces. Whatever is lower than that, you’re under that. You claim to have gone under this e-transformation in which you’re sick of the very same “internet shit” you’re testament to commit. You acting non gimmicky on the internet would be like Michael Jackson trying to be black. They’re just two things that are never going to happen.
It irks me solid when the ugliest people post pictures of themselves and their dumb friends list (out of what must be the purest form of pity) say that they’re good looking. Yeah he’s good looking if you like busted ugly motherfuckers. We all know the “you’re cute” comments have no business in Dgt’s journal. If you’re sick of all the “internet shit” spamming your e-life, rectify the fucking problem. You’re a joke fat boy, you’re a joke.
3. Sostark - Everything Paige does is great. She invented random_review, great. She gave us “lolz” at audio-lj, great. She has a personal website, great. She’s funny, great.
I honestly wish everyone would step off her nutsac and remove their mouths from her asshole. This chick could write a post about the complexities of air and all of her Livejournal fans would crap themselves crazy scrambling to be the first person to post “That’s so poignant. I wish I was you. Wow Paige you are an amazing writer. Can I be you for a day?”
And when she posts a picture of her ass (let me remind you, the same ass that drops a deuce in the toilet two or three hours after dinner) her friends list loses their goddamn minds. "Oh Paige, you’re so beautiful." "Your ass is so fresh. You're hot. I'd hit it." Excuse me, but what the fuck is a fresh ass?
The one thing I laugh at everytime she does it, because she emulates fifteen year old middle school girls with the "Friends Only Bitches" banners in their journal, is when she does a friends cut. "I cut people off my friends list today for blah blah reasons and I find it funny that they whine about it on AIM/email to me." O RLY? It's like she knows she's doing people a favor by having them on her friends list, like it's some honorable shit. She kind of insinuates that she's such a high and mighty LJ God that being associated with her will make you look cool.
Paige makes fun of emo kids who take upside down angled photos so we can’t see their ugly faces. But if you look at her pictures you’ll realize she does the exact same thing. Except she likes to take pictures of her neck, like she’s waiting for a nazi vampire to come suck on her or something. Yeah, I don't get it either.
2. Shamroq - I’ve always wondered what it would be like to lick the bottom of your taint and once I got down on my knees I was kind of unimpressed and questioning why all the cool kids wanted to be down there. There’s nothing really special about you. Except you’re married to a hottie and I thought you would have to be a little bit funny to lock that down. But let me clue you in on one fact you seem to be missing out on, you're not funny. So how you're keeping that hottie within penis reach is a question for another day. Unless of course she's cheating on you with Luis, because he's just the kind of asshole to do that.
I don’t get what’s so neat about you, so let me lay one of my lame analogies down. You’re like a cool kid. A cool kid that all the other kids want to follow simply because they want to be associated with something cool. They don’t necessarily have to like you and whether they do or not is irrelevant. It’s all about faking it, just to conform, just to fit in, just to be one of the cool kids. That’s what socialization is about.
1. Inawhile/prime_radiant - Like anything I write will do justice in explaining how sweet and bodacious this chick is. But let me digress. Elina, I know you’re superior to us mere mortals. And I know the internet is inane and trivial to you. And I know you’re not serious business. And I know you use internet speak in that oh so ironic way. And I know the world rotates around your pretty Russian head. And I know us humans must look like ants from way up there on your cloud revolving around God's face. So Elina...
Let me say one last thing.