(Untitled)

[yoshikochan]

So I'm not allowed to complain or brag.

(Friend told me today that I only go on our group chat to complain or brag. Apparently talking about the new laptop you bought is bragging. Talking about the problems you have with it is complaining. And here I thought I was sharing something I was excited about, then asking for help when I had problems.)

Comments

[ragnarok_08]

Ugh, I'm sorry that you were told that :/

[yoshikochan]

:'3 Thank you. I feel better now, especially sharing it.

[awakenyourfaith]

What the what? Who goes and tells someone that?!

[yoshikochan]

In hindsight, I do give her credit that she told me it bothered her (but in a sort of / not sort of joking way with another person there, she was telling him but I mean she was telling me too at the same time). I think if she really hated me she wouldn't have said anything.

I'm just horrified she would think that way, that all I do is complain or brag. :<

[epiic]

What does this person contribute to the chat?
I suppose you could link random cat GIFs, but most discussion comes from complaining or bragging. The whole point of Instagram is bragging.

Though I've been accused of this too, and so I do tend to avoid either. Which mostly means being quiet, which isn't very interesting either. I rarely post about new gadgets or clothes or whatever. But I can not share a cool trip something I made.

[yoshikochan]

D: So it's not just me then. I wonder if some people just can't handle it if you share anything that makes them feel inadequate? Which is totally unfair, and a product of jealousy. We should be able to share our accomplishments and the things that make us happy!

Pft, I don't know what she contributes. There's a lot of coordinating events, talking about tv shows, fan stuff, and the like. But it's a small group and everyone gets into personal stuff o.O I don't know why my personal stuff comes off as bragging/complaining/whatever. Oh well... I guess I know better now what I can/can't say without being offensive (but it's really just her, none of the other group members seem to care, they all responded normally with opinions/tips/advice).

But I have realized that it's an underlying problem that's between me and her. It just makes me sad cause I love our group's little chat, and I feel like I can't be a part of it. :')

[epiic]

Also, real bragging, the problematic kind comes from doing things to point out your superiority rather than sharing something.
Maybe it is jealously if such things are out of reach to the person and they are reading it as flaunting your ability to buy it.

If someone tells me about their new laptop, I'm not jealous because I could get a new computer too if I felt I needed one. I hear about Phil's new Tesla I am a little jealous. (But in the case of the friend with the Tesla, I don't think they're bragging really)

Similarly, with complaining, complaining can seem bothersome if you feel you have greater problems and someone is getting sympathy for something less significant. Doesn't mean you have no right to complain. Arguably none of us with "1st world problems" have any business complaining, but it's nice to vent and so we do.

[yoshikochan]

Yes, that's exactly how I feel.

(My "complaints" were basically like, "my new laptop is heavier than my old one T.T" and "windows 10 is making my computer crash, help!" .... )