(no subject)
Yoochun stepped out from his car eagerly and quickly rushed up to his apartment which he shared with his other half. It had been almost two months since the last time he saw or heard from the cheerful brunette, not thank to the non-existent mobile reception in the deserted island that successfully rendered him non-contactable for the whole period he was away.
Park Yoochun, 28 years old, a member of the ASIA legendary boyband, Dong Bang Shin Gi, was currently involved in many solo projects, one of them is to compose many hit songs to be sung by other artists. This time he was contracted to star in one of his song’s MV and so he was shipped off to an unnamed island for the whole movie shooting, leaving his partner for almost four years alone.
And he missed him, a lot, since it was a rare occurrence for them to actually be separated for so long, after practically living together since they were teenagers. In addition, this time, he was absolutely non-contactable, making their communication totally void during their separation time. He thought of contacting Junsu, informing him about his communication situation, but he figured that since he was going to come back soon, there was no need to send a postcard or a letter (which will take a long time to arrive anyway) to him. So today, it was finally the day he could see his lover’s face again.
“Junsu!! I’m home!!” His voice reverberated across their shared apartment. Yoochun stood at the doorway with a big smile, waiting for his noisy lover to greet him enthusiastically as usual.
However after 1 minute of lack of movement around the apartment, Yoochun realized that no one was home. He sighed disappointedly, figuring that Junsu might be out and it was his fault anyway, for not informing the brunette about his arrival beforehand.
So he decided to rest for a while and waited for his duck butt lover arrival. He stepped into their bedroom and promptly froze.
There was something different about his bedroom… it looked empty and too neat… it looked uninhabited. After sparing a few glances across the room, the horror finally struck him.
There was no Junsu’s stuff.
At all
No Junsu’s dolphin pillow. No Junsu’s towel hanging on the side of the room. No Junsu’s clothes inside the bathroom. No photos of theirs on the side table.
No nothing.
It almost looked like Junsu was never there at all… like he already completely moved out from Yoochun’s house… and Yoochun’s life.
That thought was enough to send the composer scrambled from his position to check on other rooms, to find anything that may deny his horrifying conclusion. And as he entered room by room, he felt that his heart gradually stopped beating.
Kitchen- no more Junsu’s apron hanging.
Bathroom - no Junsu’s hair gel or shampoo or soap.
Storage room - no Junsu’s soccer ball or his shoes.
Yoochun slumped down the sofa in his living room, pale faced and utterly shocked. He absolutely have no idea what actually changed in the past two months that caused Junsu to left him. Suddenly he remembered his phone which was sitting at the bottom of his bag, untouched for almost two months and he almost tripped on his feet to retrieve his phone to call Junsu, ignoring the message on his phone that announced almost 20 voice mails and messages left in his phone.
“The number you are calling is outside the service area….”
Yoochun practically sagged down on his (theirs?) king sized bed, one hand limply holding his phone. His mind started to create one scenario of why Junsu left him. The newer ones getting more and more ridiculous than the previous ones.
“… has he finally meet another man who is better than me?”
“… has his religious-conscience finally succeeded to guilt him to leave me?”
“… has he finally realized that he’s not gay?”
“…has he found a girl of his dream and has eloped with her?”
His phone’s ringtone startled him from his endless nightmare. He quickly stared at the phone’s screen, hoping against heaven and hell that it was Junsu. His hope deflated a bit when he saw Yunho’s name flashing on the screen, but he figured that maybe Yunho might know about Junsu’s whereabouts.
“Yoeboseyo hyung! Do you know where…”
“Yoochun you bastard!”
His ‘soulmate’ partner voice that blared from the other side of the phone shocked him. Before he had time to compose himself and retorted back, the ‘umma’ of the band had launched his rant.
“How can you be such a jerk to Junsu after all this time, huh? Suddenly disappear for two months uncontactable and after that, the only news we got from you was you are practically engaged and eloped with the co-star of yours!”
Yoochun’s brain tried its hardest to process all the new found information quickly and he blinked. “Whaa…??”
“… and now finally you can be contacted only after Junsu has finally disappeared to only God knows where…”
The voice was abruptly cut off and another voice, calmer but equally grim and serious which belonged to the band leader, replaced it.
“Yoochun…”
The composer has finally got a glimpse of understanding of the overall situation,,, a huge misunderstanding of everything and he rushed to tell the leader.
“ Hyung, hyung. Please listen to me! I never cheated on Junsu, I swear!” his voice was nearly hysterical. “I was uncontactable all this while because that goddamn island has no fucking reception!!! Please believe me hyung. I love Junsu! I will never cheat on him!” his voice cracked at the end.
Yunho was silent for a moment before sighing, “I don’t actually know what happen, Chun. For almost two months there was no news from you or whatsoever. Then suddenly last week the whole nation was bombarded with your off-shoot romantic photos with your co-star. Then 4 days ago the management contacted me that Junsu is taking an extended indefinite leave break and we haven’t heard anything from him ever since.”
Yoochun closed his eyes in defeat and said bye to Yunho while promising that he’s going to continue to search for Junsu and assured him that it was all a big misunderstanding.
That was six weeks ago
For the whole six weeks Yoochun had practically scourged over Korea and almost half of Japan too, but it seemed that Junsu was intent to take revenge on Yoochun for being uncontactable for the past two months. He was nowhere to be found and even his parents didn’t know where he was (at least that was what they told Yunho, the two of them completely refused to talk to Yoochun, thanks to the rampant gossip complete with their ‘scandalous photos’ between Yoochun and his co-star.
What pained Yoochun the most was actually listening to the voice-mails and messages that Junsu sent to his phone. It started as cheerful messages but as the days, weeks, and finally months passed the messages had gradually filled with frustration, disappointment, anger, sadness… and finally resignation.
Yoochun couldn’t hold back his tears as he replayed Junsu’s last voice mail In his phone, Exactly 4 days before he came back.
“… saw the new about you and her today Chunnie… now I finally understand why you keep avoiding me these past months. I always know that this day will come anyway. You finally realize that there is someone better than me. So now I will just wish you … … … all the happiness… goodbye.”
He never knew about Junsu’s insecurity on their relationship. He admitted that even after they got into relationship, he still flirted around with girls just because it’s his nature (and he thought Junsu understand that… he really did). After all, it was just harmless flirting and at the end of the day he would always come back to Junsu, the real love of his life.
It was the same this time. Or so he thought. It was another playful flirtation with his co-star. Holding her hands occasionally, tucking her hair strands while they were walking side by side and kissed her cheek one time… a normal harmless fling over the shooting period. But who ever expect that it would be captured by some photographers (it was on a deserted island for God’s sake!) and entailed to this catastrophe?
Starting from that fateful day, Yoochun’s life was turned upside down. All he could do was either frantically searching for Junsu or stayed in his room, mourning over Junsu’s disappearance while looking at their photos stored in his laptop.
‘kimi wa doko ni itte. Dare to doko ni itte. Donna fuku wo kitte. Nani kitte waratterun darou…’
Where are you now? Who are you being with? What kind of clothes are you wearing? What are doing and laughing at?
Their old single which played softly in his room startled him out with the fitting lyrics. If he was to sing that song this time, he knew that he could actually sung it from the heart. Since I t was what he actually feel right now.
…where is he now? Whom is he together with?... is he safe? Happy? Is he laughing? Or crying because he thought Yoochun had betrayed him?...
‘zutto koko ni itte… ima mo koko ni itte… Kimi to itsu no hi ni ka aeru to shinjiteiru yo’
I will be here forever. Even now, I right am here, believing in a day that we will meet again.
He smiled bitterly while remembering that he used to think that the man in the song was definitely stupid for keep waiting for a girl who obviously had moved on. But now he realized that he actually willing to wait forever for Junsu, even if the other man had moved on.
Yoochun rubbed his temple and decided to call it a day and tried to sleep before continuing his search for Junsu tomorrow (tried being the operative word here)
It was around 2 hours later, 2 am in the morning, when he heard a soft rustle from the doorway. Yoochun tensed, anticipating a thief or burglar (or worse, a stalker) intruded his apartment.
Quietly he tiptoed outside, arms ready in his taekwondo posture to knock down the intruder should it be necessary…
“Junsu?”
His breathless call startled the other man on the doorway. Yoochun quickly rushed to the brunette side and hugged him tightly, not bothering to control the stream of tears that trickled down his cheekbone and staining the other man’s shirt.
Junsu stayed rigid inside Yoochun’s arms… and continue to keep his silence. Yoochun finally realized that the shorter man didn’t give any response and reluctantly disentangled himself from the brunette.
“Junsu… please listen to me… It’s all a big misunderstanding…”
Junsu still refused to look at him but instead kept his eyes on the floor. Yoochun reached out to keep the brunette’s face when Junsu suddenly whisper.
“I give up”
And Yoochun’s heart stopped beating.
Now that Junsu was finally back in his arms, he didn’t plan to let him go AT ALL. He planned to explain everything to Junsu and to clear any misunderstanding between the two of them. Begged Junsu for his forgiveness if needed. And swore upon his life that he’s not going to flirt with any living creature anymore. Anything to make Junsu came back to him.
But how could he be so egoistic for wanting to keep Junsu by his side when the other man obviously only felt pain when he was together with Yoochun? He bit his lip and slowly released Junsu. If this what it took to make Junsu happy, then he’s willing to let him go. Even if it killed him.
“I gave up on forgetting you… for trying to be selfless to just let you go with that girl. I don’t want to just give you up. I don’t care if you love her more. I just want to be by your side… even if I will only be the second one in your heart…”
And what else can Yoochun do beside to choke on his tears and crushed the smaller man into his arms once again? And he vowed never to let him go anymore. So Yoochun kept Junsu by his side… fingers entangled within each other as he gently cupped Junsu’s face while kissing him softly… as he led Junsu to sit down on the sofa as he explained the big mess of misunderstanding between them… as he held Junsu close while he, in turn, choked on his tears.
…as he kneeled down to vow not to flirt around anymore…
… as Junsu kissed him with a kiss after his vow…
…as they laid down on their bed with Junsu’s head tucked on his chest, under his chin and one of his hand around his waist…
…as they restarted their love story once again and all Yoochun could feel was love, love, love…
‘Kawarazu omotteiru yo….Kimi dake omotteiru yo…’
This feeling won't change, and you are the only one I'm thinking of…
Park Yoochun, 28 years old, a member of the ASIA legendary boyband, Dong Bang Shin Gi, was currently involved in many solo projects, one of them is to compose many hit songs to be sung by other artists. This time he was contracted to star in one of his song’s MV and so he was shipped off to an unnamed island for the whole movie shooting, leaving his partner for almost four years alone.
And he missed him, a lot, since it was a rare occurrence for them to actually be separated for so long, after practically living together since they were teenagers. In addition, this time, he was absolutely non-contactable, making their communication totally void during their separation time. He thought of contacting Junsu, informing him about his communication situation, but he figured that since he was going to come back soon, there was no need to send a postcard or a letter (which will take a long time to arrive anyway) to him. So today, it was finally the day he could see his lover’s face again.
“Junsu!! I’m home!!” His voice reverberated across their shared apartment. Yoochun stood at the doorway with a big smile, waiting for his noisy lover to greet him enthusiastically as usual.
However after 1 minute of lack of movement around the apartment, Yoochun realized that no one was home. He sighed disappointedly, figuring that Junsu might be out and it was his fault anyway, for not informing the brunette about his arrival beforehand.
So he decided to rest for a while and waited for his duck butt lover arrival. He stepped into their bedroom and promptly froze.
There was something different about his bedroom… it looked empty and too neat… it looked uninhabited. After sparing a few glances across the room, the horror finally struck him.
There was no Junsu’s stuff.
At all
No Junsu’s dolphin pillow. No Junsu’s towel hanging on the side of the room. No Junsu’s clothes inside the bathroom. No photos of theirs on the side table.
No nothing.
It almost looked like Junsu was never there at all… like he already completely moved out from Yoochun’s house… and Yoochun’s life.
That thought was enough to send the composer scrambled from his position to check on other rooms, to find anything that may deny his horrifying conclusion. And as he entered room by room, he felt that his heart gradually stopped beating.
Kitchen- no more Junsu’s apron hanging.
Bathroom - no Junsu’s hair gel or shampoo or soap.
Storage room - no Junsu’s soccer ball or his shoes.
Yoochun slumped down the sofa in his living room, pale faced and utterly shocked. He absolutely have no idea what actually changed in the past two months that caused Junsu to left him. Suddenly he remembered his phone which was sitting at the bottom of his bag, untouched for almost two months and he almost tripped on his feet to retrieve his phone to call Junsu, ignoring the message on his phone that announced almost 20 voice mails and messages left in his phone.
“The number you are calling is outside the service area….”
Yoochun practically sagged down on his (theirs?) king sized bed, one hand limply holding his phone. His mind started to create one scenario of why Junsu left him. The newer ones getting more and more ridiculous than the previous ones.
“… has he finally meet another man who is better than me?”
“… has his religious-conscience finally succeeded to guilt him to leave me?”
“… has he finally realized that he’s not gay?”
“…has he found a girl of his dream and has eloped with her?”
His phone’s ringtone startled him from his endless nightmare. He quickly stared at the phone’s screen, hoping against heaven and hell that it was Junsu. His hope deflated a bit when he saw Yunho’s name flashing on the screen, but he figured that maybe Yunho might know about Junsu’s whereabouts.
“Yoeboseyo hyung! Do you know where…”
“Yoochun you bastard!”
His ‘soulmate’ partner voice that blared from the other side of the phone shocked him. Before he had time to compose himself and retorted back, the ‘umma’ of the band had launched his rant.
“How can you be such a jerk to Junsu after all this time, huh? Suddenly disappear for two months uncontactable and after that, the only news we got from you was you are practically engaged and eloped with the co-star of yours!”
Yoochun’s brain tried its hardest to process all the new found information quickly and he blinked. “Whaa…??”
“… and now finally you can be contacted only after Junsu has finally disappeared to only God knows where…”
The voice was abruptly cut off and another voice, calmer but equally grim and serious which belonged to the band leader, replaced it.
“Yoochun…”
The composer has finally got a glimpse of understanding of the overall situation,,, a huge misunderstanding of everything and he rushed to tell the leader.
“ Hyung, hyung. Please listen to me! I never cheated on Junsu, I swear!” his voice was nearly hysterical. “I was uncontactable all this while because that goddamn island has no fucking reception!!! Please believe me hyung. I love Junsu! I will never cheat on him!” his voice cracked at the end.
Yunho was silent for a moment before sighing, “I don’t actually know what happen, Chun. For almost two months there was no news from you or whatsoever. Then suddenly last week the whole nation was bombarded with your off-shoot romantic photos with your co-star. Then 4 days ago the management contacted me that Junsu is taking an extended indefinite leave break and we haven’t heard anything from him ever since.”
Yoochun closed his eyes in defeat and said bye to Yunho while promising that he’s going to continue to search for Junsu and assured him that it was all a big misunderstanding.
That was six weeks ago
For the whole six weeks Yoochun had practically scourged over Korea and almost half of Japan too, but it seemed that Junsu was intent to take revenge on Yoochun for being uncontactable for the past two months. He was nowhere to be found and even his parents didn’t know where he was (at least that was what they told Yunho, the two of them completely refused to talk to Yoochun, thanks to the rampant gossip complete with their ‘scandalous photos’ between Yoochun and his co-star.
What pained Yoochun the most was actually listening to the voice-mails and messages that Junsu sent to his phone. It started as cheerful messages but as the days, weeks, and finally months passed the messages had gradually filled with frustration, disappointment, anger, sadness… and finally resignation.
Yoochun couldn’t hold back his tears as he replayed Junsu’s last voice mail In his phone, Exactly 4 days before he came back.
“… saw the new about you and her today Chunnie… now I finally understand why you keep avoiding me these past months. I always know that this day will come anyway. You finally realize that there is someone better than me. So now I will just wish you … … … all the happiness… goodbye.”
He never knew about Junsu’s insecurity on their relationship. He admitted that even after they got into relationship, he still flirted around with girls just because it’s his nature (and he thought Junsu understand that… he really did). After all, it was just harmless flirting and at the end of the day he would always come back to Junsu, the real love of his life.
It was the same this time. Or so he thought. It was another playful flirtation with his co-star. Holding her hands occasionally, tucking her hair strands while they were walking side by side and kissed her cheek one time… a normal harmless fling over the shooting period. But who ever expect that it would be captured by some photographers (it was on a deserted island for God’s sake!) and entailed to this catastrophe?
Starting from that fateful day, Yoochun’s life was turned upside down. All he could do was either frantically searching for Junsu or stayed in his room, mourning over Junsu’s disappearance while looking at their photos stored in his laptop.
‘kimi wa doko ni itte. Dare to doko ni itte. Donna fuku wo kitte. Nani kitte waratterun darou…’
Where are you now? Who are you being with? What kind of clothes are you wearing? What are doing and laughing at?
Their old single which played softly in his room startled him out with the fitting lyrics. If he was to sing that song this time, he knew that he could actually sung it from the heart. Since I t was what he actually feel right now.
…where is he now? Whom is he together with?... is he safe? Happy? Is he laughing? Or crying because he thought Yoochun had betrayed him?...
‘zutto koko ni itte… ima mo koko ni itte… Kimi to itsu no hi ni ka aeru to shinjiteiru yo’
I will be here forever. Even now, I right am here, believing in a day that we will meet again.
He smiled bitterly while remembering that he used to think that the man in the song was definitely stupid for keep waiting for a girl who obviously had moved on. But now he realized that he actually willing to wait forever for Junsu, even if the other man had moved on.
Yoochun rubbed his temple and decided to call it a day and tried to sleep before continuing his search for Junsu tomorrow (tried being the operative word here)
It was around 2 hours later, 2 am in the morning, when he heard a soft rustle from the doorway. Yoochun tensed, anticipating a thief or burglar (or worse, a stalker) intruded his apartment.
Quietly he tiptoed outside, arms ready in his taekwondo posture to knock down the intruder should it be necessary…
“Junsu?”
His breathless call startled the other man on the doorway. Yoochun quickly rushed to the brunette side and hugged him tightly, not bothering to control the stream of tears that trickled down his cheekbone and staining the other man’s shirt.
Junsu stayed rigid inside Yoochun’s arms… and continue to keep his silence. Yoochun finally realized that the shorter man didn’t give any response and reluctantly disentangled himself from the brunette.
“Junsu… please listen to me… It’s all a big misunderstanding…”
Junsu still refused to look at him but instead kept his eyes on the floor. Yoochun reached out to keep the brunette’s face when Junsu suddenly whisper.
“I give up”
And Yoochun’s heart stopped beating.
Now that Junsu was finally back in his arms, he didn’t plan to let him go AT ALL. He planned to explain everything to Junsu and to clear any misunderstanding between the two of them. Begged Junsu for his forgiveness if needed. And swore upon his life that he’s not going to flirt with any living creature anymore. Anything to make Junsu came back to him.
But how could he be so egoistic for wanting to keep Junsu by his side when the other man obviously only felt pain when he was together with Yoochun? He bit his lip and slowly released Junsu. If this what it took to make Junsu happy, then he’s willing to let him go. Even if it killed him.
“I gave up on forgetting you… for trying to be selfless to just let you go with that girl. I don’t want to just give you up. I don’t care if you love her more. I just want to be by your side… even if I will only be the second one in your heart…”
And what else can Yoochun do beside to choke on his tears and crushed the smaller man into his arms once again? And he vowed never to let him go anymore. So Yoochun kept Junsu by his side… fingers entangled within each other as he gently cupped Junsu’s face while kissing him softly… as he led Junsu to sit down on the sofa as he explained the big mess of misunderstanding between them… as he held Junsu close while he, in turn, choked on his tears.
…as he kneeled down to vow not to flirt around anymore…
… as Junsu kissed him with a kiss after his vow…
…as they laid down on their bed with Junsu’s head tucked on his chest, under his chin and one of his hand around his waist…
…as they restarted their love story once again and all Yoochun could feel was love, love, love…
‘Kawarazu omotteiru yo….Kimi dake omotteiru yo…’
This feeling won't change, and you are the only one I'm thinking of…