CUT: Super Junior Dorm- If the Pants Fit...

Jan 28, 2010 21:10



Super Junior Dorm: Well, if the Pants Fit…

Heechul could not find his skinny jeans.

It wasn’t something unusual, seeing as his room was always in a constant state of disaster because he never had the heart to throw away anything. In fact, he had even brought some of his personal baby dresses clothes to the dorm only a month prior when his own mother threatened to throw them out. He complained that she had absolutely no soul and that anything that touched his milky white skin deserved to be put up in a museum somewhere for the sheer Beauty it had once shared common vicinity with.

Today, however, Heechul’s inability to find his skinny jeans posed a huge problem. For one thing, earlier he had been taking inventory of his own closet, yes? So… shouldn’t all of his clothes have been in there?

And for another, he needed to wear them to the Free Hug event he and the rest of Super Junior had planned at the new mall that had just been built a couple of blocks away. The poor man needed to look perfect for his fans, and since he was admittedly feeling a bit fat (5 kilograms now instead of the usual 4) he could count on those ever-faithful pants to work their magic and block out his paranoid chubby accusations added weight gain.

“These things don’t just disappear, damnit!” he grumbled under his breath as he pulled six pairs of bright-colored leggings from the doomed area. (What? They were comfortable to go to dance practice in.)

No, his jeans were definitely not in the closet.

It comes as no surprise, in that case, that Kim Heechul was not a happy man. In fact, that wouldn’t have been surprising even if he had found the skinny jeans. In the story of Snow White, he fit more the part of “Grumpy” the dwarf than the princess herself if it wasn’t for the fact that his complexion fit her name to a ‘T’ and that he was a diva of undeniably ridiculous standards. Eunhyuk had tried to mention this to him once, but it resulted in a terrifying glare that left the monkey boy no option but to try to ignore his hyung to save his own life. Needless to say, their “reunification” on Intimate Note left him with more nightmares about apples than a grown man should ever have.

The Cinderella took one glance around his room and noticed immediately that in his quest to search for his pants some sort of bomb must have gone off in his room and he hadn’t heard it. There were literally piles and piles- no, mountains- of clothing strewn every which way in the space in which he dwelled.

He had spent days organizing his closet so he could find his clothes more easily only to destroy it in the process of searching through it for his own clothing. Something about that was naggingly ironic. “Aish!” he growled, and threw a shirt onto the ground.

Heechul froze as he looked at that particular article of clothing.

It was pink with a purple bunny on the front of it. That… was not his. Not one bit.

The sound of a door slamming interrupted the peace and quiet of the lovely day that all the members on the second floor of the dorm were having, but Heechul was too pissed to care. In a rush, he clung to his newfound item of treason in a white-knuckled fist and promptly sat himself down into one of the many cushioned couches that lined the living room and ran his hands through his hair.

He looked at the ground. He tried to think of all the possible reasons Sungmin’s shirt- not just any shirt, his sleeping shirt- had made its way into his very own closet.

He then came to the conclusion that Sungmin was a very dead man.

“Well, hey, hyung!” Ryeowook’s voice pierced through his ears like a razors on a chalkboard or possibly the sound fanged goblins made as they ate a chalkboard made out of razors. “You… okay, Heechul? You look kind of mad- want to talk about it?”

That was too sweet. Ryeowook was such a nice guy. Because of that reason alone, the livid princess of a man decided he would try his hardest to be as pleasant as he could at the moment. “Wookie,” he said through clenched teeth, “get me Hankyung. Now.”

The younger’s face dropped. “You don’t want to talk to me? Okay…” His shoulders visibly slumped and he trudged away into the mass of bedrooms on the other side.

Twenty minutes flew by and Heechul decided Ryeowook must have gotten lost in his own dorm or been trapped by fan girls again, because that was the only excuse he was going to take for not having his China man by his side listening to him banter on and on about his problems.

He walked downstairs and was about to give Ryeowook a piece of his mind when he witnessed Zhou Mi scampering about the area. The searched-for KRY member completely slipped his thoughts as he sauntered up to the tall man.

“Seasoning? God, you’re still here?” he questioned with awe. The other nodded silently and smiled. “Yes,” he replied in clipped Korean. “Henry and I… have a flight for tomorrow. So I am still here.”

Heechul nodded without listening. “Yeah, cool. So, where’s Hankyung?”

“He is… not here right now.”

“Well, where is he?”

The attitude in the older man’s voice brought Zhou Mi’s heart level up. Talking in a foreign language was hard enough, but talking to Heechul in that foreign language? Next to impossible. He spoke so fast and he got upset so easily-

“Hm??” Geeze, that attitude again!

“Uh… he… I don’t know where he is. But he’s not here?” The tendency for ending sentences as a question was not uncommon by anyone speaking to the Cinderella, whether they be Chinese or Korean. Sometimes it was best to question yourself until you gave the man what he wanted.

“Damnit!” Heechul spat out as he threw the abused pink shirt onto the ground again. This time he stomped on it for good measure and admired the dusty footprint that now graced the bunny’s quirky little nose. Maybe he would just deface the thing and frame it in his room as a warning to all intruders. “I really need to talk to someone, Seasoning!” he added in distress after the action.

Zhou Mi tried to run when he saw that look on Heechul’s features. It’s a shame his arm was grabbed tightly before his body was able to turn around properly so he could safely run away. The Chinese man let his head droop down sadly- fighting back was now a pointless cause.

“I’m sure I’m generalizing a bit, Seasoning, but- Hankyung is quiet and Chinese… and so are you. Come here, my lovely subbie!” Heechul squeaked pleasantly as he manhandled dragged his prey away to his room upstairs.

65.27 Minutes Later

“- and that puppy-faced bastard somehow got his shirt in my closet and I don’t get it, Mimi, I really don’t!”

Zhou Mi was now witnessing the end of a sentence that had run on for over an hour. At least, he assumed it was one long sentence; he wasn’t quite sure. The lack of pauses to breathe on Heechul’s part confused him.

“Why don’t you just give Sungmin his shirt?” the younger suggested after he registered the use of the nickname Mimi by his friend. Huh. It had a ring to it.

A huff. “Well, I was going to do that. This princess doesn’t like bunnies.”

“I meant give him his shirt without yelling at him, hurting him, threatening him, or managing to lock him either in his room permanently or lock him out of our dressing rooms to endure fan girl torture at its highest, hyung.” (In the past hour, Zhou Mi had easily had some time to think about how to formulate his response to Heechul’s mindless word vomit whining.)

The older man shoved his thin body further into one of the many Garment Mountains that now lined his room. This particular one had become a makeshift beanbag for him, and it was quite comfortable. “You mean be nice to him?”

Oh, sweet dumplings help him- he was seriously in awe at Zhou Mi’s suggestion.

“Yes, hyung. Be nice.” Remind me to reward Hankyung for his patience next time I see him. I have never ever babysat before, but I imagine it’s a little like talking to Heechul about his problems minus  the large amount of fear that accompanies being in his presence.

A sound erupted from the corner of the room, and in seconds one of the many clothes piles exploded messily as Heebum scampered out of it with a disgruntled look on his face and then promptly left the room with his tail held proudly. Neither of the men honestly knew what to say.

“Well, then. Ugh… alright, alright. I’ll give it back to Sungmin. Nicely, I mean. Or better yet, you could-“

“Zhou Mi! Where are you, pal?” Eunhyuk’s voice called from the hallway outside. The Chinese member zipped up from his prison place on Heechul’s bed and smiled awkwardly as he reached for the doorknob. Before the Cinderella could even fathom a glare at his escapee he was gone.

Hushed voices were heard from outside of Hecchul’s door discussing something, and then Eunhyuk had the audacity to peek his head into the room. “Hyung,” he began with that gummy grin of his, “sorry about that. Zhou Mi has to go now to help set up for the Free Hug thing. You’re coming, right?”

From his sitting place, Heechul said nothing but looked at his fellow member expectantly. He rather liked making him uncomfortable, and did so often ever since their forced “bonding experience” months earlier on that stupid Intimate Note show.

Eunhyuk gulped in a bit of air. “Um… um… okay, I’ll- I’ll go now…” he said awkwardly as he began to close the door.

“HYUKJAE, WAIT!” Heechul yelled at the last second. The younger immediately opened the door wide- possibly out of fear, possibly out of the use of his real name. The dainty man couldn’t tell from the look in his friend’s eyes.

But whatever the emotion that was there was… it was amusing.

Heechul chuckled darkly. “Here,” he said as he threw Sungmin’s bunny shirt at Eunhyuk. “Get this from my sight.” He even added a girly little hand gesture to make his point evident.

The other man caught the shirt without hesitation and proceeded to look at it carefully. “Oh my gosh, you found this? This… this is mine! I mean I stole it from Minnie but he let me keep it and- oh, wow- thank you!” To express his thanks, he shifted his entire body into the room enough so he could bow politely to his hyung. (The awkward just didn’t end with this poor man.)

Heechul would have taken glee in seeing his friend’s fear-induced reaction had he not noticed at that point that Eunhyuk was wearing his skinny jeans. He looked down at the man’s lower body until the rapper, too, realized what was going on.

Oh. Shit.

It’s relieving to say that Heechul did not catch up with Eunhyuk, who was running faster than a speeding… Sugar-High-Induced-Donghae. The only reason for this, however, was because Yesung had caught up with the Cinderella instead.

“Hyung,” the younger pleaded in obvious ignorance of his friend’s attempt to rid the world of its most endangered species of monkey. “Hyung, let me do your hair- please?”

Heechul froze to give the turtle-obsessed man a piece of his mind until he noticed that he was even wearing a tool belt stocked with a hair dryer, hair spray, brushes and clips on his hips. This, quite frankly, intrigued him.

He smirked. “I consent,” he answered. Yesung smiled like a maniac before he added, “And don’t go anywhere near my hair with scissors, you got that? Hiffany doesn’t need a friend.”

The singer pouted slightly, but nodded anyway before trudging away to the bathroom to get more supplies to help do his hyung’s pretty long hair. Heechul sighed. It was best not to get into a fight right now, anyway- he had an event to prepare for, no less.

… What was wrong with himself? Forgoing threats to an innocent man, cutting off a dramatic chase scene, and settling on Zhou Mi to talk to? Blast all the distractions!

From that moment on Kim Heechul made a decision- he was going to make his members pay at that Free Hug event.

God, he loved his evil genius mind.

A/N: Teehee, the only problem I had with this was that it was written like EVERYTHING ELSE and it bothered me. Thus my cell phone extra instead. Although I think it explains a bit more. Idk. XD

THANKS FOR READING!
PLEASE COMMENT OR YESUNG WILL TURN YOU INTO A VOODOO DOLL, TOO!
Or, if you like that kind of thing: COMMENT AND YESUNG WILL TURN YOU INTO A VOODOO DOLL, TOO!! XD

genre: comedy/crack, group: super junior, chaptered: v-day., character: heechul

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