V-Day.: Super Junior Movie Night
Super Junior Dorm, First Floor.
“Where’s Yesung?” Eunhyuk asked his fellow members as he glanced around the dark room.
Every single member was in the dorm that day (even Zhoumi and Henry and that guy… what’s his name… Kibum?) to watch movies together. It was a very rare event, so it was odd that one of their members was absent from the giant gaggle of men who had arranged themselves to fit in the living room.
This kind of get-together had only occurred twice before; once in the second floor dorm (which was now off-limits to members that did not live there because Heechul was doing “inventory” of his closet and wanted no kind of intrusion of his space lest his wardrobe be tainted by the other men), and once at Kangin’s apartment.
Kangin’s apartment could “never be used again, unless you boys want me to wrestle you into the hot scenery of Hell and have you never come back,” as he put it. He still hadn’t forgiven Donghae for what he did to his bathroom mirror. And refrigerator. And couch. Vodka didn’t look that much similar to water, okay? And honestly wouldn’t a sane person have noticed a difference in taste, a coming headache, or read a label?
Oh, wait. A sane person. Never mind.
So, in the only useable dorm- the “quiet” Super Junior floor- all of the boys minus one had managed to squish themselves in, on, or around the sofa; some sitting on others in a completely non-awkward, totally friendship-based way. Totally.
Sungmin squirmed in his cushioned seat, trying to glance over the rather tall shoulder that was completely blocking his face. “Kyu,” he whined to Kyuhyun who was seated happily on his lap, “Why are you sitting on me? I’m smaller,” he reminded him.
The youngest shook his head. “Sorry, Minnie, but there’s no more space, and I don’t want to take your spot away from you. Besides, I thought you were stronger than you looked, oh ferocious cute one,” he added to the smaller man.
“Well, I am stronger than I look and I am pretty cute, but you can just grab a chair from the table in the kitchen-“
“No I can’t, SiHanChul stole them all for their fort. And shh,” Kyuhyun answered, a finger to his mouth. “No talking now; the movie’s starting!” he exclaimed. A faint smile traced his lips as he claimed victory over his new sitting spot.
Sungmin only pouted in response. “Wait- did you just use a pairing name for those three? What do you do in your spare time, hyung?”
“Shhhhhhhhh,” his friend replied, paying no heed to the cute man’s questions as he focused completely on the TV before him.
“This movie is a masterpiece,” Kangin told his friends as the opening scene came on the screen. “My, look at that dashingly handsome devil!” he continued as he saw himself bashfully admire a woman in the subway in the film ‘Hello, Schoolgirl’.
“Guy looks kinda chubby to me,” Donghae said as he reached for popcorn from the bowl in Shindong’s lap. “Why is he wearing that stupid-looking hat all the time?” Crunch, crunch, crunch. “What’s up with his shirt? Looks so girly.” Crunch, crunch, crunch. “What- oh.” He had realized too little, too late who that actor had been.
Donghae glanced up at Kangin, who was now standing and had walked ominously close to the fishy boy for comfort.
Leeteuk coughed awkwardly. “Ehehe; he meant chubby in a healthy and attractive way, Kangin. Like, uh… babies!”
The bigger man never took his eyes from Donghae’s as his leader spoke nonsense to him. “Are you comparing a man in his mid-twenties to an infant?” he asked in clarification. His pupils narrowed scarily.
“You know, I could use some Yesung-approved joking right about now. Where is that funny little guy?” Eunhyuk asked again, sensing the tension in the air. He slapped Donghae on the back in warning. You like living, don’t you, hyung? Then don’t anger The Kangin and you shall live, is what he said with the brief contact.
“Dunno, having late night philosophical conversations with Ddang Ko Ma again?” Kibum guessed from his spot on the floor in front of Ryeowook.
Ryeowook jumped when he noticed the man sitting there. “When the hell did you get here, hyung?!” he asked with wide eyes.
Kibum pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Look, I’m actually here a lot of the time, so could you all cut the crap please before I-“
“Aigoo, Bummie, my little Kibummie,” Donghae cooed, throwing popcorn at his friend’s face. He had clearly forgotten all about his only seconds-earlier life or death, man-to-man eye tug of war with Kangin.
Eunhyuk grabbed the popcorn away from his best friend and scowled at Kibum, giving the snack to Henry. “Thanks,” the Canadian replied in English.
A small noise came from the makeshift fort that had been prepared on the entire right side of the room. Every pillow, blanket, and chair had been used in creating the monster hidey-hole where Siwon, Heechul, and Hankyung were now residing.
“Actually,” Hankyung broke into the conversation, “where the heck is Yesung? He’s been without a trace for the past two days.”
“He’s been in his room,” Ryeowook replied. “Not our room, his room. He won’t let me in at all. He threw my clothes at me and told me to go somewhere else until he finished his project, whatever that could be,” the abused roommate clarified.
“Yeah, he’s doing something in there. He wouldn’t even let me borrow his hair cream,” Heechul added sadly.
“Is he praying?” Siwon asked hopefully.
Heechul snorted. “No one here would do that but you, Wonnie. I know how caught up you and God get together, but sometimes you must realize that not everyone finds him as awesome as you do. Anyway…” the Cinderella finished sarcastically.
Hankyung stiffened in sudden realization. “Did Yesung send his turtle out to get food for him?”
“I honestly have no idea, nor do I care. Why?” Heechul asked.
“Because that might explain why I found Ddang Ko Ma in the freezer with the note ‘Don’t come back without supplemental brain energy!’ taped on his shell,” the Chinese man answered.
Siwon cocked an eyebrow. “Again?”
“Does this happen that often?”
“More than you’d like to know,” the preacher said with a chuckle. “You know what, Chullie? I have decided that I’m going to forgive you for what you said about God earlier, because he is a forgiving man. He’s caring and giving, too. You should learn to be more like him,” he suggested.
Heechul grabbed a handful of the popcorn that had been floating around from person to person in the room and stuffed it into his friend’s mouth, smiling. “Look, Siwon!” he exclaimed, rubbing butter off of his hands, “I learned how to give! I gave you the gift of silence.”
Hankyung could only laugh.
Donghae’s voice interrupted the sarcastically sweet moment. “I think Hongki should have been in hyung’s place,” he said. Eunhyuk’s pupils got to about three times their normal size as his friend spoke, and hitting him didn’t seem to stop his loud mouth. “Girls will fall for a guy like Hongki. Skinny, with silky long hair and a nice personality. Did I say skinny? Anyway, Hongki should have-“
“Kangin, we should go look for Yesung!” Leeteuk exclaimed, jumping up from the couch and almost stepping over Ryeowook in his panicked rush over to his good friend. He grabbed Kangin by the arm and led him out of the room towards the only bedroom that was closed with its light still on.
The bigger man was breathing roughly and was tapping his foot in a peeved fashion. Leeteuk rubbed his friend’s back, shushing him. “Let’s work on that anger management visualization I taught you, okay? Just count sheep in your head backwards.”
About fifteen seconds went by and Kangin smiled. “Hyung,” he said excitedly, “It’s working! Except the sheep are fish and I’m not counting them, I’m shooting them with arrows. But it’s working!”
Leeteuk shook his head. “That’s not really what I meant, but whatever…” The leader quickly turned his attention to Yesung’s door and knocked lightly.
“Who~ is~ it~?” a sing-songy voice chirped happily from inside.
“It’s Leeteuk.”
“And Kangin,” the other added.
“May we come in?”
“No,” the singer answered easily.
Kangin’s nostrils flared. The counting sheep/ shooting fish thing had obviously not calmed his anger down. “YAH!” the angry man screamed. “For every time you deny us access to your room, I’ll kill ten bugs! Ten!” he began counting off.
“Let us in, Yesung,” Leeteuk said coolly.
“No!”
“Twenty!”
“Why can’t we come in?”
“I can’t tell you. And don’t try to force your way in, either; look at the sign and you’ll understand,” the recluse informed them.
The two men stepped back from the door to see a piece of notebook paper on the wood, a picture of Ddang Ko Ma taped to it with what looked like red pen stains trailing down either side of the turtle’s mouth and scrawny neck in an attempt to look ferocious. The words ‘He’s a man eater!’ were scrawled under the picture in Yesung’s handwriting.
There was a pause in the men’s determination when they saw this.
Then: “Thirty!”
It was at that moment that Heechul walked into the area, holding his hands to his ears. “Yah, why are you all so noisy? The chubby one is about to get the girl in the movie and you’re ruining it!” He looked at both Leeteuk and Kangin, who were facing Yesung’s door, hands fisted in the knocking stance.
“Trying to coax the odd one from his room? Gimme a second,” he said with a smirk as he pushed the two men back.
“Yesung~” he called out. He got no response from beyond the door, but he kept trying. “Yesung, do you realize I was this close to convincing Zhoumi that he was Siwon’s long-lost brother before I heard Kangin screaming and came down to investigate? Do you understand what fun you took away from me? Please open up, Yesung,” he asked gently. Wow. The man was being… nice. To someone else! That was a first.
“No.”
“YAH!!!” Heechul screeched, and pounded the door.
“Forty!” Kangin yelled. “Forty bugs, and make half of them endangered tropical ones!”
Leeteuk bit back laughter as he looked at his two dongsaengs go crazy. “Okay, guys, look- I have one more idea,” he said.
Heechul puffed hair out of his face. “Make it good, hyung; I need to go back to my fort and reconnect a long-lost family.”
The leader smiled. “Yesung?” he called through the door. “I was hoping to save it for your birthday, but- well- I bought your turtle an outfit for winter. You always express how worried you are about how cold he gets in the winter since he’s already cold-blooded so I went ahead and bought him a jacket and sweater for you.”
Immediately Yesung’s door opened. The man’s eyes were glistened over in joy. “Really?” he asked. Leeteuk smiled and patted Kangin on the shoulder.
Kangin pushed open the door to Yesung’s room all the way, ignoring the younger man’s protests. “No, not really!” he yelled with a grin.
Heechul scoffed. “You’re too easy, man,” he said as he entered the younger’s room as well.
“Ddang Ko Ma- attack! Emergency procedure 21!” Yesung shouted as the men invaded his space.
The turtle only sat there in his cage, staring helplessly at his master.
There was a sudden burst of laughter from a spot near Yesung’s bed- where Kangin was standing. Bad mood forgotten instantly, the man stared in awe as he looked at the item that was lying gently across the young singer’s sheets.
Yesung drooped his head in defeat. “I need to teach Ddang Ko Ma to attack on cue,” he reminded himself quietly. “He has the force… I just have to get him to control it and use it wisely… then things like this wouldn’t happen.”
“You are indeed an odd one,” Heechul stated to the slightly broken man before he went up to his amused hyungs. When he got there and saw what was lying on the bed, he too became as silent as Kangin.
Lying on the bed was a sewing machine and kit, purple cloth, and a half-naked fabric doll.
Leeteuk was the first to speak. “Yesung, have you been locked in your room for two entire days so that you could make a doll?”
The singer had taken his turtle out of his cage and was stroking its shell delicately. “No,” he replied innocently.
“Fifty! Oh, no, wait. Sorry. Forgot that threat was over,” Kangin apologized.
Heechul giggled. “Yes you have- you locked Ryeowook out of his own room, almost gave an innocent attack turtle freezer burn, and became a recluse for two days to make a mockery of the Barbie doll.”
Yesung shifted in his position. “So what if I did, hyung?” he asked, voice rising slightly in defense.
Heechul giggled again. “Oh, nothing- it’s just- haha- it’s just so pretty,” he replied sarcastically as he held the doll up to his face.
Leeteuk narrowed his eyes as he looked at the hand-made toy. “This thing looks vaguely familiar,” he declared as he stroked its fabric. “Where have I seen this before…?” he whispered to himself.
“Looks like a cross-dressing man,” Kangin added thoughtfully. Yesung scowled and murmured mutinous things into Ddang Ko Ma’s ear- if the turtle had any identifiable ones, that is.
“Not to say your doll is ugly or anything! Hehe,” the older man reprimanded with an awkward laugh and a scratch on his head.
“This is Hiffany,” Heechul announced finally. “I’m sure of it.”
“How do you know?” the leader asked.
“Look; it really does look all manly but it’s obviously woman-afied here. Its skin is made to be all pale, like Hiffany, and its hair is styled just the way Yesung did it when I won that contest against her, fair and square, two weeks ago. There’s also the fact that it’s wearing a purple dress and tiara and the name ‘Hiffany’ is sewed into its butt,” the younger added as he pulled clothing back over the doll’s hips.
“You just violated my doll; that was a bit perverted, the way you did that,” Yesung told his hyung from across the room.
“Thanks,” Heechul replied.
Leeteuk smiled. “There’s no way to insult you, is there?”
Heechul momentarily thought about it, chin resting in his fingers. “Nope,” he concluded.
Yesung walked over and grabbed his doll from the Cinderella just before his hands reached its hair. “Yah! What gives? You didn’t have a problem with me touching your cross-dressing womanish man-child before, aish,” the man complained.
“Well, I do now. You all broke into my room. Leave,” the singer commanded with his nose in the air.
“Yah, do you know how long it took us to get in here? Save it, bug boy, I’m not leaving,” Kangin retorted, crossing his arms across his chest.
Leeteuk interjected. “You’re upsetting Ddang Ko Ma. Leave before Yesung has him ninja attack us, hyung.”
Both Heechul and Kangin gave him unconvinced glares. “Do what now?”
“Sorry, I just wanted to say something like that for so long. I think that turtle is more ominous than he looks,” the leader said with a smirk.
“My baby is a girl, thank you very much,” Yesung replied, swinging the doll in front of him. A lock of its hair glanced over Heechul’s hand, and the older man jumped back in shock.
“That was really, really soft and silky hair your doll had there,” he told Yesung. His brow furrowed, and he clapped his hands in realization. “That’s Hiffany’s- ack, I mean Hero’s, hair!”
The doll-maker clasped his toy to his chest protectively. “No, it’s not.”
“Sixty! Damnit, sorry. I need to stop…”
Leeteuk touched the doll’s hair when his dongsaeng wasn’t looking as he fervently protested with Heechul over whether his doll did or did not have human hair.
“That’s human, alright,” the leader concluded. “Same color, texture, and smell as Hero’s."
Kangin backed away from his best friend. “Whoa, whoa. Smell?”
“Don’t ask,” Leeteuk answered.
“Oh, I won’t. Ever.”
Heechul sat on Yesung’s bed and looked up at the ceiling. “You are a messed up little man, you know that, Sungie?” he asked.
Yesung glared down at him in response.
“Oh, I won’t tell anyone you cut off Hero Jaejoong’s hair and even made a doll out of him- dressed as a woman. Why’d you make it, though?”
The younger man hesitated, then released air through his nostrils slowly in a process to calm himself down. “I… liked doing his hair. I liked his hair. So I took some. It’s harmless, hyung!”
Heechul picked at the bed covering. “Do you take a lock from everybody who has nice hair?”
There was no response from his dongsaeng, who only looked down guiltily.
“Who else have you cut off hair from?” he prompted in a dangerous tone.
Yesung continued to look at the ground.
Before Heechul could delve deeper into his questioning, he thought better of it. “Never mind,” he said. “I actually really, really don’t want to know.”
Yesung rolled his eyes softly. “You normal people just wouldn’t understand,” he informed his fellow member exasperatedly.
“Hey, Kangin! This movie is unrealistic- women don’t ever fall for you! Who made this piece of junk?” Donghae’s voice floated from the living room. Reality was brought back to the four men, as well as the sound of Kangin’s feet pounding on the ground as he ran out of the room, screaming curses. Leeteuk was whisked away with the man, desperately shouting things about sheep and arrows in the direction of his friend’s whirlwind of anger.
It was just Yesung and Heechul now.
The older singer stood to leave as well. “Before I go, Reptile Ranger,” he began to his dongsaeng with renewed intrigue, “would you be interested in buying a unique keychain?”
A/N: I sincerely hope I entertained you with Super Junior XD I just needed a break from writing about Hero and her mood swings, hahaha.
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