Super Junior Dorm, 2nd Floor- Whatever the Hell Goes on Here.
Super Junior Dorm, Floor 2. (6 A.M.)
Heechul threw his bed sheets on the ground, looking around his room in distaste as he made clicking noises with his teeth. Damnit, Heebum!
Destroyed. His pretty purple sheets, complete with an intricate pattern of his perfect likeness stitched onto the fabric, all gone. With a huff, the Cinderella made another disdainful sound and gave up trying to save the remnants of his petals’ gift.
A soft mewling sound met Heechul’s ears as the Murderer of All Things Fluffy and Comfortable walked into the room, tail held high but big eyes cast down as if in remorse for his previous actions.
Try as he might, the cat owner couldn’t be mad at his pet. With a slowly growing grin on his face, he stretched out his arms to Heebum, calling to him cutely. “Bummie~ <3!” In fear, the poor animal hesitated an infinitesimal amount of time too long. In less than 3 seconds Heechul held the cat in a death grip his arms, cradling him like a small child.
“That’s okay, Bummie, I can always get more sheets- but I can’t replace you, now can I? Aigoo!”
Just then, a knock came on the door. “What?!” Heechul screamed back, peeved at the intrusion of the time between him and his real true love the kitty.
“I just wanted to know why the hell you were up at this hour- it’s six AM, Chullie!” Hankyung’s voice filtered through the door.
Hearing his friend’s voice, Heechul ran up to the door and opened it, smiling.
The Chinese man frowned and touched the elder’s forehead softly, checking for illness. “Why are you happy today? What the hell is wrong with you?”
Heechul just continued to smile. “Well, I woke up because I felt cold. And I felt cold because Heebum destroyed my sheets. And Heebum destroyed my sheets because- well, I don’t know. Maybe I should stop putting bonnets on him before he goes to sleep… but he just looks too cute! Anyway, I love my kitty,” he finished.
The story made no sense. Hankyung nodded silently at his friend and told him to go back to sleep, closing the door softly on his way before the man could tell him more about how awesome his cat was.
One thing was clear: perhaps Heechul without enough sleep was a genuinely nice person… and it was confusing. Better make sure he had 7 hours plus every night, otherwise the world might implode.
Two Hours Later. (8 A.M.)
No one could have not heard the scream.
It was blood-curdling, twisted, and pained.
It could draw the very dead from their resting places, open secret portals to new worlds, herd dogs from around the universe, create supernovas from dust… (and other cool stuff...)
The one thing it should not have done, however, was wake up Kim Heechul.
In a moment’s fury, the man ran from his bed in a whirlwind of panicked anger to the kitchen, where the smells of rice and various seasonings from the Middle Kingdom flavored the air. The lone figures of Hankyung and Sungmin were standing there, much in a state of confused shock at the horrific sound they had just heard.
“What was that, hyung?” Sungmin asked with wide eyes, confusion lurking there.
Heechul gave him The Look but nevertheless answered him. “It sounded, to be honest, like a man who has just realized he has lost something very precious to him.” He then proceeded to grab a pair of disposable chopsticks (which the younger had been using to cook with) and break them in half.
Although the action itself was not that terrifying, the look on Heechul’s face told the cute man that his hyung was not in a good mood.
Oh, no- that meant he had been sleeping and was woken up before his alarm went off- no! (Everyone knew not to wake up the pretty entertainer before his time; the last time this happened, a tipsy Kangin had run through the dorm at four in the morning singing “Put a Ring on It,” dance and all. After Heechul was through with him he had taken to emotional eating again and Leeteuk had reluctantly started a new diet plan for the entire group which consisted of tangerines, ice water, saltines, and rubber bands. Don’t ask.)
Hankyung had gone back to cooking once he realized the flowery smell of the rice started to have a burnt twinge to it, saying, “Actually, the scream sounded a lot like Hero-hyung when I walked in on him with Yunho that one time doing-“
“Hero? Hmm, you’re right, aren’t you?” Heechul realized with sudden enthusiasm.
There was that slowly growing grin again.
Sungmin cringed. “Once you start looking like the Grinch in front of a stack of homeless children’s Christmas gifts, I’m gone,” he said, turning quickly. “Oh, and tell Hero I hope he’s alright!” he added brightly before he briskly left to go back to his own dorm. A few seconds passed before the addition: “And that I’m still cuter than stupid Xiah!”
Hankyung looked at his friend again, wincing. “What do you want me to do, Mastermind?”
Heechul smirked. “First: thank you, I am one, aren’t I? I always think of the best plans and my hair always looks fabulous and everyone loves-“
“Heechul, get on with it.” (The perk of being born as Hankyung: the ability to cut off one of the most violent, unstoppable forces of Kpop.)
“Like I was saying. Second: please call Hero and tell him to shut the hell up. Also, tell him to pay for my new sheets… oh! Pay for them because Heebum destroyed them after hearing his freaky scream, whatever that crap was about.”
“But, hyung, Heebum didn’t-“
The Cinderella pinched Hankyung’s cheek playfully. “Do this or I will tell everyone what else I taught you how to do other than cuss in Korean, my friend,” he warned with a sparkle in his eyes.
The Chinese man sighed. You could never one-up this guy. Ever. He even prided himself on dressing up as a girl. Come on- who could have that much confidence?
By the time he was done thinking, Hankyung noticed Heechul was gone, probably back to his room to try to sleep again. And even though his good friend hadn’t been as overly violent as he usually was when awoken too early, today he seemed more dangerous than usual.
Either because he had now been woken up twice in a two-hour period or for some other unexplainable reason, the man played mind games.
And one thing was clear: Heechul did not respond well to being woken up early, nor did it make him happier or nicer; whatever Hankyung witnessed hours earlier was a fluke and had everything to do with that little fuzz ball, Heebum.
After fixing breakfast, the foreign member picked up his cell phone and walked through the halls, quietly (so as not to disturb Cinderella’s Beauty Rest) asking other members if they had things to say to their friends in DBSK before he made the call to their dorm.
And then he made a mental note to call Hongki and invite him to drinks with his cat-obsessed friend; the Cyworld-happy man needed to get out more.
And, finally, Hankyung sighed to himself- sometimes he felt more like a babysitter or a secretary than a member of a Korean boy band.
“YAH! Heebum, don’t run away from me! I just wanted to make you look pretty! NO! NO! Not my boots! HANJAY HEEBUM. There’s a good boy, aigoo. See, when you don’t struggle everything is easier! I love you, Heebummie~ <3”
… Yes. Definitely a babysitter.
A/N: Comments taste like yuminess and cupcakes, so feed a starving author! =D