The Attack of the Fashion Zombies- 1 Hour Later.
1 Hour Later
He was embarrassed. He was slightly in pain- just what, exactly, did Yesung do to his hair? He was-
“Beautiful!” Leeteuk exclaimed, awestruck.
Both the members of Super Junior and DBSK stared at their friends and took in the beauties standing before them, some slightly jealous; some still upset from earlier. (“I am cuter than Xiah…” an agitated Sungmin whispered under his breath.)
“Yes, I know I’m beautiful,” Heesica answered. Whenever he got into this role, it was best to leave him to his own devices. God help you if you called him by his real name while he was still in Heesica mode.
“I hate all of you,” Hero groaned, looking at himself in the mirror. The purple dress? Fit his body like a glove and gave him spectacular-looking curves. The tiara? Shining and proud, sitting atop his perfectly-styled mass of hair prettily. Hero didn’t want to question how Yesung got his hair to look so fabulous. And the shoes? Cinderella-esque, and amazingly comfortable.
To be quite honest, he made a great girl in his opinion- and it was concerning. His lashes were longer due to mascara, his high cheekbones set off with blush, his powerful eyes given more pop with eye shadow- his pale skin made paler with foundation. He was flawless, and it was freaking him out. He looked at Heechul- er, Heesica- and saw that… he, unlike him, seemed to enjoy being a woman, if only for the moment. He looked flawless too, and acted the part.
“Oh, don’t hate me because I’m just so damn beautiful,” Heesica replied to Hero, a bright smile on… his face. “Hiffany, you look absolutely stunning! Just who did your make-up?”
‘Don’t call me Hiffany, damnit! What is it with you and SNSD?’ Hero questioned in his head.
“That would be you, Heesica,” the younger answered instead with a resigned sigh.
Without a word, Heechu- Heesica grabbed Hero by the waist, pulling him into… him, said “Smile!” and took a picture with a proud grin on his face. Hero was frowning. “Now,” Heesica said, switching tones and sounding all business-like, “we need judges.”
“For what?” Hero asked, forgetting already the entire purpose of this little escapade. He hated that he actually felt pretty. It was time to get away from feminine things- it’s not like he didn’t know his facial features ghosted that of a woman’s. He didn’t need this to add to the confusion.
“To see who’s the prettiest, silly!” Heesica giggled cutely.
Kangin cleared his throat and ran his hand through his short hair, thinking. “How about two members from each group vote on the prettiest one- Hero or Heechul?”
A low growling sound emitted from Heesica’s throat, and Donghae put a warning hand on the raccoon-eyed man’s shoulder. “Er… I mean to say, Hero or the stunning Heesica?”
“I’ll do it,” two voices answered in unison- Siwon and Hankyung.
“Wait, aren’t you two a little biased towards Hee-…sica?” Sungmin asked, tripping on words.
Siwon looked at him, a thick eyebrow cocked in confusion. “Why would we be? I don’t know about Hankyung, but I’m only doing what the Lord would have me do in a situation like this. You know, God is-“
“A fantastic mythical creature that can only be found in the great land of Narnia. Gosh, Siwon, never mind,” the smaller finished, annoyed.
“Geeze, tell someone he’s not cute and look at what a sour puss he becomes,” Leeteuk said jokingly and snickered, only to be hushed by a devilishly dark look from Sungmin.
“Don’t forget how good I am at martial arts, Teukie,” Sungmin said in a surprisingly sweet tone, smiling.
Creepy.
“Look,” said Hero, “let’s pick the judges from my group, hm? Xiah and… Micky?”
There was no response from the area of the Great Starcraft Battle. Only snores. It seemed the battle was so epic, both Micky and Kyuhyun needed naps.
“Haha,” Hero laughed nervously, not liking his only other choice left. “Max?”
The youngest DBSK member perked up at the sound of his name. He unwrapped his arms from around the refrigerator, where he had been cuddling it and speaking to it in hushed baby language. “I’ll be a judge if you make me some foo-“
“Well, we’ll just wait for Yunho, then. What a pity!” Hero exclaimed, patting Kangin’s back apologetically.
“But he just said that-“
“We’re waiting for Yunho. Precisely,” Hero reiterated with dark undertones to his voice. Kangin felt a shiver of fear creep down his spine.
“Well, I vote for Heesica,” Siwon said finally.
“Me, too,” said Hankyung. “Hero, you’re absolutely stunning as a girl, a knock-out even, but Cinderella over here is pretty violent and, well… I think you understand,” the Chinese man apologized. Hero nodded and smiled. ‘So then why am I doing this again…? Oh, right. Because 11 boys just jumped me. I forgot for a sec.’
Xiah’s laughter filled the air just then. Eunhyuk managed to calm him down (the Squeak Master had probably been laughing at nothing, just being himself), but even a calm Xiah looked on the verge of laughter. “Hyung, I choose Hero- Hyung!” he exclaimed, and laughed again.
“EU KYANG KYANG KYANG!”
An awkward silence loomed in after the sound waves had diminished.
“Well, I guess all we gotta do now is wait for Yunho-hyung,” Yesung said finally, filling the empty silence. “While we wait, lemme fix your hair, Hiffany,” he added, his face serious as he toyed with the older man’s hair like a professional.
Hero just sighed.
Just then, the door opened. Yunho stepped into the Room of Chaos, and Hero could have almost jumped for joy to see his best friend, just in time to save him.
“Hey guys,” he greeted in a friendly way to everyone, placing some packages on the ground. “We went to Japan recently and got you all gifts and…” his voice slowly faded as he saw before him. “What the…?” he asked, staring.
“YUNHO!” Heesica screeched, pushing a finger to his chest, “Who is prettier? Me or Hiffany?”
Yunho looked to Heesica, then Hero. Heesica, Hero.
‘Heesica!’ Hero mouthed to Yunho, pleading. He just wanted this to be over with.
Having just walked into this mess, utterly confused, he answered. “Uh... Hee- Heesi…ca?”
“Yes! Take that, in your face, hyung!” Heechul cackled while hugging Hero to him at the same time, back to his old male self again. “I’m prettier, I’m prettier, I’m…” he chanted, and skipped out of the room. Back to his normal self or not, he sure was comfortable in his own skin. (And dresses for that matter, but how surprising could that be? It was Heechul, for goodness' sake. The man coordinated fashion for his own cat.)
Yunho looked to Hero at that moment. “Let your leader have a good look at you, then,” he said, and got closer to his friend in order to see him better.
Yunho's eyes swept over the smaller man's body slowly. After a moment, he uttered one word: “Wow.”
“Wow,” he repeated a second time. “This is… this is hilarious!” he screamed, and broke into a loud, unstoppable peal of laughter.
Hero groaned to himself and buried his head in his hands, embarrassed and unsaved by the one person he thought would care, if anyone would.
“Hyung, hey hyung!” Hero looked up, hearing Max’s voice from the kitchen. He wasn’t on the ground anymore. He had relocated to sitting on the countertop, playing with water splashing from the sink's faucet. It seemed he couldn’t get rid of the feeling of his hunger, but being in the kitchen in any way helped soothe the eating beast. “At least you found Yunho hyung, right? It’s over now, right? Right? You’ll cook for me now, right?!”
Hero just groaned louder.
‘And now Heechul has pictures of me cross-dressing. I need to be on the lookout for his next Cyworld entry- God help him if he puts that picture up. No, scratch that, God help me! Pretend, for a day, I’m your favorite Asian son Siwon, and save me!’