In Which a K/Night Never Fades : EA Part #1
I have decided to break up the Emilie Autumn concert experience into segments, posted a few days apart. This is to ease the reading load on anyone who wants to read this. I have edited some stuff out - stuff which really only mattered to me. Again, this was mostly done to cut down on the reading time for you all.
I. Prologue (A Little History About How I Discovered EA)
In 2003, I was pagan. As such, I was interested in things like faeries. One day, I googled "faery magick" and came across a site listing "faery friendly" musicians. Tori Amos was on the list, as was this lady named Emilie Autumn. I had no idea who she was, but her name alone lured me in. I clicked on her name, which took me to her website. Immediately, the track "Across the Sky," off her album entitled Enchant, began playing. I loved it right away. I clicked around the site, and saw that she was absolutely, breathtakingly gorgeous. I mean, not only was she wearing camouflage, which is often adorable on females, but she was wearing wings, too!
At the time, Enchant was available for free in its entirety. When I heard "Chambermaid" and "Second Hand Faith," I knew I had stumbled across a new obsession. I had never heard anything like her. This fairy tale music seemed to teleport me away into all the books I'd read and loved growing up. I was, simply put, blown away by her voice and originality.
In the fall of 2004, I was enrolled in a History of Rock class. Our big assignment for the term was to pick an artist who began recording within the past twenty years. I immediately thought of doing my paper on Emilie, since I had been listening to Enchant so much and thought it would be awesome to do my paper on someone no one else knew about.
Around this time, Emilie had set up a LiveJournal for herself, bonnytymepyrate. I had stumbled across it, promptly added her, and found myself surprised when she actually responded to comments I left for her there. I knew I liked her music, but when I began commenting back and forth with her, I really felt that we saw certain things about the world in a similar way. In the first comments we exchanged [ HERE], for instance, I found that she also loved the film What Dreams May Come and couldn't understand why more people didn't appreciate it.
Anyway, so I exchanged some comments with her and, in October of 2004, I asked her if I could get information for my paper about her. I mentioned that I had contemplated writing about Courtney Love (who I adore), and EA replied that I should probably write about Courtney. The thing is, she'd toured with Courtney as a violinist on Courtney's first solo record. Emilie agreed to send me some thoughts about Courtney Love. After a few weeks, I got an email from Miss Autumn herself...and it wasn't just a few thoughts, it was basically an essay in and of itself. I was speechless. I wasn't starstruck, just in awe that someone so busy sat down to take the time to do that for me. It was totally unexpected and I sent her a thank-you card and continued to exchange LiveJournal comments and the occasional email with her.
I'm not sure how many are public, but I added to my memories the comment exchanges between Emilie and myself. It never felt, nor does it feel now, like exchanging words with a celebrity, but rather, a peer, a fellow writer and friend. Her words, given to me during such a busy time in her life, when she was writing the Opheliac album, was one of the most selfless, giving, loving things anyone has ever done for me. She didn't have to give me the time of day, but she did.
And when I asked her, if she ever had the time, to check out some of my poetry, I was floored when she left me amazing comments about my work. Again, she did not have to do so, and I knew how incredibly busy she was, and so for her to take that time to encourage me and let me know what she thought of my work (that she liked it) was so helpful and made me realize that someone out there got me. She even donned me a Knight of the Pen! Pretty much the coolest thing one can be.
As time passed and Opheliac was released (which, after a few listens, I realized was one of the GREATEST albums EVER), Emilie no longer had time to reply to comments left in her journal. I understood this and was so happy when she began gaining a larger following. I continued to follow her growing career, loving each and every thing she did. Do I still get shocked sometimes by things she chooses to do? Of course - that's what makes her so interesting. She'll do something, like a medical burlesque show, and I will look at it one way, then another, to figure out why she did what she did and what she was really trying to say. I've seen every decision she's made, first and foremost, as the well-thought-out choices of an intelligent woman who knows what she wants and won't sacrifice for anyone. She does what she does for herself, and that is absolutely worthy of admiration.
Anyway, as her fans came to be known as "muffins," I thought at times of sharing what she said about Courtney, or the comments we exchanged. However, I have always decided not to do so. I don't want people to get jealous or think I'm bragging. I have never felt the "celebrity on a pedestal" feeling towards Emilie, but like I said, I have thought of her as a fellow writer, a peer, and an inspiration. Her openness to talk about mental disorders and her stance, to me, as a strong, independent, intelligent woman have made me always think of her as more of a friend...or a facet of me, as strange as that sounds. But yes, so I've never shared the words we exchanged, and I have only ever even mentioned the emails/etc. to a very few people I know in person, for they understand how precious this is to me. I will never share everything with others, because I want the connection she and I have/had (more on that later) to remain special and sacred to me.
After Opheliac's release, Emilie garnered a rather large cult following overseas. Because of this, she spent years touring over there. I admit, I did get frustrated, wondering why she hadn't come back to America in so long (to tour, at least). I knew she hadn't forgotten her fans/muffins here...that's the thing, I always knew, reading interviews with her, that when she spoke of how much she appreciates her fans, she meant it. She's that kind of person - you can just read her words and know she's speaking the truth. I knew she would come tour here eventually, and I just had to be patient and wait...and wait...and wait...
SIX YEARS! It was insane - I knew she would tour here eventually, but it was so hard at times to wait that long. She had been such an inspiration to me, in so many ways...her kindness at giving so much of her time to me, her music she had shared with all of us, the way she encouraged me to self publish my book of poems as a healing process to eradicate the lingering depression issues from my teenage years. I just wanted to give back to her, to support her, in any ways I could. I wanted to scream every word along with her, to let her know I appreciated her and understood, in my own way, what she was trying to say.
I. Prologue (A Little History About How I Discovered EA)
In 2003, I was pagan. As such, I was interested in things like faeries. One day, I googled "faery magick" and came across a site listing "faery friendly" musicians. Tori Amos was on the list, as was this lady named Emilie Autumn. I had no idea who she was, but her name alone lured me in. I clicked on her name, which took me to her website. Immediately, the track "Across the Sky," off her album entitled Enchant, began playing. I loved it right away. I clicked around the site, and saw that she was absolutely, breathtakingly gorgeous. I mean, not only was she wearing camouflage, which is often adorable on females, but she was wearing wings, too!
At the time, Enchant was available for free in its entirety. When I heard "Chambermaid" and "Second Hand Faith," I knew I had stumbled across a new obsession. I had never heard anything like her. This fairy tale music seemed to teleport me away into all the books I'd read and loved growing up. I was, simply put, blown away by her voice and originality.
In the fall of 2004, I was enrolled in a History of Rock class. Our big assignment for the term was to pick an artist who began recording within the past twenty years. I immediately thought of doing my paper on Emilie, since I had been listening to Enchant so much and thought it would be awesome to do my paper on someone no one else knew about.
Around this time, Emilie had set up a LiveJournal for herself, bonnytymepyrate. I had stumbled across it, promptly added her, and found myself surprised when she actually responded to comments I left for her there. I knew I liked her music, but when I began commenting back and forth with her, I really felt that we saw certain things about the world in a similar way. In the first comments we exchanged [ HERE], for instance, I found that she also loved the film What Dreams May Come and couldn't understand why more people didn't appreciate it.
Anyway, so I exchanged some comments with her and, in October of 2004, I asked her if I could get information for my paper about her. I mentioned that I had contemplated writing about Courtney Love (who I adore), and EA replied that I should probably write about Courtney. The thing is, she'd toured with Courtney as a violinist on Courtney's first solo record. Emilie agreed to send me some thoughts about Courtney Love. After a few weeks, I got an email from Miss Autumn herself...and it wasn't just a few thoughts, it was basically an essay in and of itself. I was speechless. I wasn't starstruck, just in awe that someone so busy sat down to take the time to do that for me. It was totally unexpected and I sent her a thank-you card and continued to exchange LiveJournal comments and the occasional email with her.
I'm not sure how many are public, but I added to my memories the comment exchanges between Emilie and myself. It never felt, nor does it feel now, like exchanging words with a celebrity, but rather, a peer, a fellow writer and friend. Her words, given to me during such a busy time in her life, when she was writing the Opheliac album, was one of the most selfless, giving, loving things anyone has ever done for me. She didn't have to give me the time of day, but she did.
And when I asked her, if she ever had the time, to check out some of my poetry, I was floored when she left me amazing comments about my work. Again, she did not have to do so, and I knew how incredibly busy she was, and so for her to take that time to encourage me and let me know what she thought of my work (that she liked it) was so helpful and made me realize that someone out there got me. She even donned me a Knight of the Pen! Pretty much the coolest thing one can be.
As time passed and Opheliac was released (which, after a few listens, I realized was one of the GREATEST albums EVER), Emilie no longer had time to reply to comments left in her journal. I understood this and was so happy when she began gaining a larger following. I continued to follow her growing career, loving each and every thing she did. Do I still get shocked sometimes by things she chooses to do? Of course - that's what makes her so interesting. She'll do something, like a medical burlesque show, and I will look at it one way, then another, to figure out why she did what she did and what she was really trying to say. I've seen every decision she's made, first and foremost, as the well-thought-out choices of an intelligent woman who knows what she wants and won't sacrifice for anyone. She does what she does for herself, and that is absolutely worthy of admiration.
Anyway, as her fans came to be known as "muffins," I thought at times of sharing what she said about Courtney, or the comments we exchanged. However, I have always decided not to do so. I don't want people to get jealous or think I'm bragging. I have never felt the "celebrity on a pedestal" feeling towards Emilie, but like I said, I have thought of her as a fellow writer, a peer, and an inspiration. Her openness to talk about mental disorders and her stance, to me, as a strong, independent, intelligent woman have made me always think of her as more of a friend...or a facet of me, as strange as that sounds. But yes, so I've never shared the words we exchanged, and I have only ever even mentioned the emails/etc. to a very few people I know in person, for they understand how precious this is to me. I will never share everything with others, because I want the connection she and I have/had (more on that later) to remain special and sacred to me.
After Opheliac's release, Emilie garnered a rather large cult following overseas. Because of this, she spent years touring over there. I admit, I did get frustrated, wondering why she hadn't come back to America in so long (to tour, at least). I knew she hadn't forgotten her fans/muffins here...that's the thing, I always knew, reading interviews with her, that when she spoke of how much she appreciates her fans, she meant it. She's that kind of person - you can just read her words and know she's speaking the truth. I knew she would come tour here eventually, and I just had to be patient and wait...and wait...and wait...
SIX YEARS! It was insane - I knew she would tour here eventually, but it was so hard at times to wait that long. She had been such an inspiration to me, in so many ways...her kindness at giving so much of her time to me, her music she had shared with all of us, the way she encouraged me to self publish my book of poems as a healing process to eradicate the lingering depression issues from my teenage years. I just wanted to give back to her, to support her, in any ways I could. I wanted to scream every word along with her, to let her know I appreciated her and understood, in my own way, what she was trying to say.