[draft/scrap/ficlet] Saiyuki - Sanzo - PG | looking for a beta
So. Today's theme at 31_days looked appealing and I want to try it, but I dare not post a fic without having it betaed first.
Grammar mistakes, awkward phrasing, vocabulary misuses, punctuation, possible inaccuracies regard to fandom, OOC, etc. Simple spellcheck cannot catch those; can anyone help me, please?
Also, I have a bit of a problem:
today's 3/5 day so I wanted to try to make it Sanzo/Gojyo-ish, but I failed and ended with something rather Sanzo-gen. (Not that I complain: I like gen, but) as a result I'm not sure how/where to end my ficlet:
-cut it right after the parenthesis and forget Gojyo (and the rest of the ikkou), keep it gen?
-keep it as it is?
-try and expand and build up more 3/5 subtext?
Title: (n/a)
Day/Theme: march 5/home is no longer a thing with walls of stone and windows of glass
Series: Saiyuki
Character/Pairing: Genjo Sanzo, hints of Sanzo/Gojyo
Rating: PG
Home used to mean the temple where he lived with his master. A place with a large compound, gardens with many trees to lose their leaves for him to rake, monks whispering behind his back, golden statues of the Buddha; maybe it wasn't very homely for a boy his age, but it was all he ever knew.
Then his master was killed and he left the temple.
Without the luminous smile of Koumyou Sanzo, with the renewed gossiping and accusations of the jealous monks, there was no way the new Genjo Sanzo could call this place home anymore. Leaving Kinzan behind, he began a long errand to retrieve the stolen sutra.
Meeting Goku and bringing him back with him to Keiun Temple rekindled a long gone impression of home. Here, he found again walls of stone solid to protect what was important, from the cold, from intruders, from danger of any kind; windows of glass to let the sunlight in all year, to let a gentle breeze blow in summer, to look at the moon on long sleepless nights.
Goku was a lively, unruly child, but those were a peaceful few years.
That, until he's back on the road, on a new errand for the Sanbutsushin. Now he's got a new, more serious lead to find his master's sutra, plus a quest to save the world, no less.
For more than a year, he and his little clique have spent days and days on the road, sleeping in nameless cheap inns in nameless small villages or spending their nights out in the wild.
But whatever; no matter how hard it gets sometimes he feels complete now. With not just Goku but with Hakkai and Gojyo as well - and Hakuryuu too - he is where he's supposed to be.
They may be lost on the way somewhere between Togenkyo and Tenjiku, they may never fulfill this quest, or never go back "home" after succeeding but he doesn't care anymore.
They say home is where the heart lies; Genjo Sanzo has just discovered that indeed, he's got a heart and that his new found home, his true home is not that old temple back in the east: it is amongst his little team (but don't tell them so. Never ever. He still has his façade to maintain.)
Hakkai talks from time to time of the little house he wish he (or both he and Gojyo? the four of them maybe?) will have one day when all this is over, but what he says differs each and every time; he too seems unsure of what to call home.
Goku doesn't mind. As long as he's well-fed, he won't complain.
As for Gojyo... when the kappa spouts his perverted nonsense about taking ladies home Sanzo cannot help but wonder: what does Gojyo considers as "home"?
Grammar mistakes, awkward phrasing, vocabulary misuses, punctuation, possible inaccuracies regard to fandom, OOC, etc. Simple spellcheck cannot catch those; can anyone help me, please?
Also, I have a bit of a problem:
today's 3/5 day so I wanted to try to make it Sanzo/Gojyo-ish, but I failed and ended with something rather Sanzo-gen. (Not that I complain: I like gen, but) as a result I'm not sure how/where to end my ficlet:
-cut it right after the parenthesis and forget Gojyo (and the rest of the ikkou), keep it gen?
-keep it as it is?
-try and expand and build up more 3/5 subtext?
Title: (n/a)
Day/Theme: march 5/home is no longer a thing with walls of stone and windows of glass
Series: Saiyuki
Character/Pairing: Genjo Sanzo, hints of Sanzo/Gojyo
Rating: PG
Home used to mean the temple where he lived with his master. A place with a large compound, gardens with many trees to lose their leaves for him to rake, monks whispering behind his back, golden statues of the Buddha; maybe it wasn't very homely for a boy his age, but it was all he ever knew.
Then his master was killed and he left the temple.
Without the luminous smile of Koumyou Sanzo, with the renewed gossiping and accusations of the jealous monks, there was no way the new Genjo Sanzo could call this place home anymore. Leaving Kinzan behind, he began a long errand to retrieve the stolen sutra.
Meeting Goku and bringing him back with him to Keiun Temple rekindled a long gone impression of home. Here, he found again walls of stone solid to protect what was important, from the cold, from intruders, from danger of any kind; windows of glass to let the sunlight in all year, to let a gentle breeze blow in summer, to look at the moon on long sleepless nights.
Goku was a lively, unruly child, but those were a peaceful few years.
That, until he's back on the road, on a new errand for the Sanbutsushin. Now he's got a new, more serious lead to find his master's sutra, plus a quest to save the world, no less.
For more than a year, he and his little clique have spent days and days on the road, sleeping in nameless cheap inns in nameless small villages or spending their nights out in the wild.
But whatever; no matter how hard it gets sometimes he feels complete now. With not just Goku but with Hakkai and Gojyo as well - and Hakuryuu too - he is where he's supposed to be.
They may be lost on the way somewhere between Togenkyo and Tenjiku, they may never fulfill this quest, or never go back "home" after succeeding but he doesn't care anymore.
They say home is where the heart lies; Genjo Sanzo has just discovered that indeed, he's got a heart and that his new found home, his true home is not that old temple back in the east: it is amongst his little team (but don't tell them so. Never ever. He still has his façade to maintain.)
Hakkai talks from time to time of the little house he wish he (or both he and Gojyo? the four of them maybe?) will have one day when all this is over, but what he says differs each and every time; he too seems unsure of what to call home.
Goku doesn't mind. As long as he's well-fed, he won't complain.
As for Gojyo... when the kappa spouts his perverted nonsense about taking ladies home Sanzo cannot help but wonder: what does Gojyo considers as "home"?