[Letter for Carlisle]
Carlisle,
I'm sorry I'm making things difficult. Honestly, I am -- if I could give Edward an unhesitant, unflinching yes right now, I would. But I can't, and I don't want to give him anything less. I realize how stupid it sounds that I can't bring myself to readily agree to a lesser commitment than being changed, but marriage is kind of a hot button in my family. It's not indecision so much as sheer terror of the whole idea. I'm not saying it's a logical fear, just that it's one that has a long background of being lectured, ranted, and otherwise firmly drilled into my head.
And I won't even get into my fear of having to tell my parents in the event that I do say yes. Do you know what it looks like when a 17-year-old girl is in a sudden hurry to get married? I think Charlie might actually chase Edward across the entire country with a shotgun before I could correct any untrue assumptions.
I'm very grateful that you'll keep your promise, but you must know I want Edward to be the one to do it if it's even remotely possible that he'll agree. Which means I have to figure out if I can agree.
I don't expect any of this to change your opinion, but I wanted to explain my reasons. They aren't a reflection of my feelings for Edward, and I'd definitely never do anything that I honestly thought would risk your family.
- Bella
I'm sorry I'm making things difficult. Honestly, I am -- if I could give Edward an unhesitant, unflinching yes right now, I would. But I can't, and I don't want to give him anything less. I realize how stupid it sounds that I can't bring myself to readily agree to a lesser commitment than being changed, but marriage is kind of a hot button in my family. It's not indecision so much as sheer terror of the whole idea. I'm not saying it's a logical fear, just that it's one that has a long background of being lectured, ranted, and otherwise firmly drilled into my head.
And I won't even get into my fear of having to tell my parents in the event that I do say yes. Do you know what it looks like when a 17-year-old girl is in a sudden hurry to get married? I think Charlie might actually chase Edward across the entire country with a shotgun before I could correct any untrue assumptions.
I'm very grateful that you'll keep your promise, but you must know I want Edward to be the one to do it if it's even remotely possible that he'll agree. Which means I have to figure out if I can agree.
I don't expect any of this to change your opinion, but I wanted to explain my reasons. They aren't a reflection of my feelings for Edward, and I'd definitely never do anything that I honestly thought would risk your family.
- Bella