Tomorrow Never Knows
Title: Chapter Thirty-Five + Epilogue
Authors:
lovely_rita_mm,
jenny_wren28, &
pennylane_ficStarring: The Beatles (specifically John Lennon) and Maggie Sue
Rating: R for language, sex, & implied drug use.
Disclaimer: We don’t own any of the Beatles, this obviously never happened, and much to the real Maggie’s disappointment, is a complete work of fiction.
We're finally here - the last chapter! Thank you all for sticking with us through this whole thing. We had *so* much fun writing it, and we hope you had fun reading!
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Chapter 35
Maggie felt gentle hands hold her hair back while she threw up. There wasn’t much left in her stomach.
“This seems familiar, doesn’t it?” It was John. “I said it once, and I’ll say it again, you do vomit very gracefully.” He handed her a cool cloth. She wiped her face with it and sat down on the floor, unable to move.
She looked up at him, and had no idea what to say first. Finally, she said, “Where were you all night?”
“Ringo’s.”
Maggie started laughing. She laughed so hard she started crying. It made her head throb.
“Oh, luv, no. Don’t cry.” John sat down on the floor and took her into his arms. “I should have called. I was an arse to make you worry like that. I guess I thought you’d call there looking for me. But you never did.”
“I did call. Mo told me you weren’t there.”
“She did what? I had no idea. I… I should have just… swallowed my pride and called you. Luv, I’m sorry.”
“Not as sorry as I am,” Maggie sniffled. “Maureen told me that you were at Paul’s flat. So I went over there and I heard...” She couldn’t speak anymore because remembering what she had heard made the tears start up again.
“You heard... oh, you heard Paul and Linda together?” John didn’t know where she was going with this, or why she was so clearly upset. Hadn’t she wanted Paul and Linda together all along? Linda might joke about being a free agent, but it was clear the girl had it bad for his Paulie.
She hiccoughed. “Yes, but I didn’t know it was them. Paul’s housekeeper told me he was at the airport. He was going out of town. Ringo and George were home. That left you. I thought that was you and Yoko. Together.”
“You mean...” John was momentarily shocked.
“Yes. I thought you did it to get back at me. When we were fighting, you said, would I be happy if ... if you...” Maggie couldn’t repeat his words.
“Oh, luv, I’m so sorry I made you think that for even a second. I’ve just never understood how you could be so threatened by Yoko. I’ve told you so many times that she’s just a friend, but you never seem to believe me.” He looked down. “I guess threatening to go sleep with her was exactly the wrong thing to have said and I’m sorry for that.”
John looked around the bedroom and saw all the tissues on the floor, as well as a nearly empty bottle of liquor. Maggie was sure the odor of pot smoke was still detectable. “Looks like you had a rough night.” John had the grace to look ashamed.
“You have no idea.”
“I’m glad George was here to take care of you,” John said. Maggie winced slightly. “He’s a good friend,” John continued. “But you shouldn’t have needed to call him. I was wrong to say the things I did, and I never should have left you like that.”
He sighed and rubbed his hands through his hair. “I was just so angry that you didn’t trust me that I couldn’t think straight. I ended up just driving around. I must have driven for an hour. I didn’t really want to go to the studio, and Paul wasn’t home, so I ended up at Ringo’s. We hung out at his clubhouse bar and got pissed. Of course then I couldn’t very well drive home, and you hadn’t called yet looking for me. I figured you’d try everyone in the band and you’d figure out where I was eventually. When I didn’t hear from you, I figured you just didn’t want to find me yet. After the way I’d behaved I wouldn’t have blamed you for not wanting to speak to me. So I slept over at Ringo’s. I tried to stay away, to give you more time, so I stopped at the studio, which is where I ran into Paul and Linda. Paul was surprised to see me up so early, but he was too wrapped up in the song he was making a demo of to say much. It’s that new love song he wrote for Linda. ‘I Will,’ I think he’s calling it.”
“It’s a good song. He played it for me in India,” Maggie said, glad to be off the topic of George and what had happened last night. “I’m glad he finally figured out it was for her.”
“I’m not as good as Paul at writing straight out love songs, but I hope you liked “Julia”, since it was sort of for you.”
“It was?” Maggie said in surprise.
“Of course!”
“But...”
“Oh, I know it’s called ‘Julia’, but it was sort of my way of talking to me Mum about being okay now that I have you.”
“But... ‘ocean child’? That’s Yoko!”
“What? No, that’s you. I read in a book that Margaret means ‘pearl’, in Greek or something like that. And pearls are in oceans...” he trailed off lamely. “Okay, I know that’s kind of stretch, but it sounded poetic. Why on earth would you think that was about Yoko?”
“Because that’s what her name means in Japanese.”
“How do you know that?”
“I read it in a book,” Maggie threw her words at him.
“A book about Yoko?”
“A book about the Beatles!” Maggie was almost shouting by this point.
“Why would Yoko be in a book about the... Oh my God.” John felt as if a veil had been lifted and suddenly he could see clearly. “Yoko and I were...?”
“She was your second wife, the big love of your life.” Tears rolled down her face as she finally told John the truth. “You left Cynthia for her. Right after you came home from India. You and she exchanged post cards the whole time you were there. That’s why I freaked out when I saw them. When you got home from India, you sent Cynthia away with Magic Alex so you could have some time with Yoko, and Cyn came home to find Yoko wearing her bathrobe, and then you divorced her.” She was crying harder now. “I’m so sorry, John. I’ve done a lot of stupid things lately, but I think the worst is not telling you the truth. I was just so afraid.”
“I can’t win, can I?” John said dully. “No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try to change, there’s still that other me. You’ll never trust me because of the things he’s done.”
“I do trust you, John. You have changed - just look at your relationships with Julian and even your dad. She’s the one I don’t trust. She wants you. She pursued you in the other timeline and won. I’m terrified that she’s going to make you realize you want her and then you’ll leave me, just like you left Cyn.”
“You’re not Cyn, and I won’t ever leave you.”
“You say that now, but …”
“No, you and me, we are meant to be together. I was miserable without you, and these last few years have been better than I could ever have possibly imagined. I need you. I could never feel that way about anyone else. I told you that in India, luv. Didn’t you believe me then?” John answered his own question. “No, why would you? I followed that up by playing you a song you thought I wrote for Yoko. What a mess. Luv, please believe me when I say it now. You will never lose me. Not to Yoko. Not to anyone! Oh, luv, why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”
“I’ve wanted to tell you so many times, and I even tried once or twice, but I was always afraid, and I could never make myself get the words out. I was so afraid that if I told you, that you’d realize that she was the one who was meant for you and you’d leave me for her. But instead, I feel like I’ve spent the last year driving you to her anyway. And after we lost Brian…I felt that since we couldn’t save him, maybe some things couldn’t be stopped or changed. Some things were meant to be and you and Yoko were one of them. I didn’t want that to be true.”
She paused. “Do you remember when we were at that party in 1964 and you asked me about your marriage, and I told you that you’d leave Cynthia and Julian for a woman? Well, that woman was Yoko. She came between you and everyone you loved - she came between you and Julian, and you and Paul. Oh John, it’s awful. The Beatles break up and end up hating each other...” Trying to get everything out was making her start to sob again.
“Oh, luv, I could never hate Ringo...” John joked soothingly. He gently brushed her hair back.
“Well, okay. No one ends up hating Ringo.” Maggie managed a smile for him. “But you walked away from everyone in your life for her. Yoko was your soul mate.”
“Slow down, luv, slow down. If it’s true that Yoko breaks up my marriage and my band and keeps my son from me, then how does that make her my soul mate?”
“Because you both like avant garde art and music and you both support the same political causes and there was the whole hair/bed/peace thing …I don’t even know - I wasn’t there. All I know is that my whole life it was always ‘John and Yoko’.”
John was quiet. Another truth had just dawned on him. “Luv, you said that on the day I die…that when I died that I was coming home from the recording studio with my wife. That was Yoko?”
“Yes.”
“And when you came back to 1966 because you hadn’t saved me, you said that my wife was the one who talked me out of wearing the bullet proof vest. The one that YOU insisted I wear. The one I wanted to wear because you warned me. You also said she tried to convince me you weren’t real.”
“Yes.”
“What the bloody hell kind of soul mate does something like that?”
“What?”
“Luv, why would I want to marry someone who gets me killed out of some kind of weird sense of jealousy or need to control me? You are the one who time and time again has looked out for me. You risked a second trip to the past, not knowing if you could get home again, because you thought you hadn’t saved me. You’ve done everything you could to keep me off drugs, because you knew what they would do to me. You’ve saved me in every possible way. And you think I would choose Yoko over you?”
“Yes,” she said in a small voice.
“Having common interests is what makes someone a friend. That doesn’t make them my soul mate. Though I find some of Yoko’s ideas about art interesting, I also find her somewhat pushy. I didn’t like that she came to the house and tried to set up a way to see me again. I was going to try to make her back off some, but then we went out of town and it didn’t seem necessary. She was the one who started sending me postcards. I sent her one or two to be polite, but that was all. I didn’t intend on seeking her out when we got home.” John was subdued as he thought of how his relationship with Yoko had appeared from the outside. “I guess the John you knew didn’t make much of an effort to push Yoko away?”
“Hell no. You were like a moth to the flame. Poor Cyn never had a chance. But I know you guys were having problems, so that probably made Yoko that much more appealing.”
“Maybe I was easier for Yoko to push in the other timelines because of the drugs. You said I was pretty out of it then, yes?”
“Yes. You went from pills and alcohol to pot to LSD. By the time you got to LSD and Sgt Pepper, you’d pretty much checked out of things. I think India was a time of clarity for you, and it was during that time that you decided to leave Cynthia for Yoko. And then you and Yoko got into heroin. And then you quit the Beatles.”
“It seems like I threw away a lot of stuff for her, didn’t I.”
“Yes.”
“And you thought you were next.”
“How could I not? I didn’t save Brian. How could I expect to keep you from Yoko, especially when she was pursuing you so hard - and you didn’t even seem to see it? All those postcards… I’m so sorry I destroyed your mail. It was so wrong, but I just couldn’t stand the thought of her…”
“It’s okay, luv. I mean, it’s not okay, but I understand why you did it. Believe me, I spent my formative years being jealous of anyone who so much as looked at Cyn, and if some guy had been sending her postcards, I would have done a lot worse. Of course, that didn’t keep me from screwing around on her, did it? That’s a big part of this, isn’t it? My inescapable past?”
“I think it’s more my past than yours,” Maggie said honestly. “You may not believe it, but I do trust you, despite your past. I think the problem was really what I knew from MY past. I could never forget that I felt like I knew every detail of your courtship with Yoko. The “Yoko and Me” exhibit…”
“Ah.”
“And the postcards. And ‘Julia’.”
“Which was actually about you.”
“How could I know that the song would stay exactly the same, yet mean something different entirely? You wrote other songs in India for Yoko too, you know. There was one called ‘I’m So Tired’. I think you were trying to sort out whether you leave Cynthia and it was making you lose sleep.”
John laughed out loud. “I did write that one, luv! But I wrote it for Paul. He was the one losing sleeping trying to decide between Linda and Jane.”
Maggie felt a smile work at the corners of her mouth. “Really? Oh good. I did like that one.”
John smiled back at her. “So, Miss Margaret, any other lyrics you want to misinterpret?”
“How about the ‘Ballad of John and Yoko’?” she asked innocently.
“The ballad of what? Now you’re just making things up!”
“Actually, I’m not.”
“I wrote a song called “The Ballad of John and Yoko?”
“Yep.”
“Is it as self-indulgent as it sounds?”
“I’m afraid so. Though I actually do like the song. Maybe you’ll come up with the tune anyway and can use it for something else.”
“Like “The Ballad of John and Maggie”?
“Please, NO!”
“Okay, okay.” He put up his hands in surrender.
They were silent.
“I am sorry about last night,” John said seriously. “I never would have thrown Yoko in your face if I’d known the truth. I just wish you would have trusted me enough to tell me sooner.”
“I wish I had too - you just got so mad every time I brought her up.” She sighed and shook her head. “No, I still should have said something. I feel like I really messed things up between us. Things were so good until she came along. I just want to go back to how we were before.”
“We can’t go back... but we can go forward. Just believe me when I say that you’re the only one for me. No more jealousy for either of us. Just trust.”
Maggie nodded. Don’t bring up George again, she begged silently. Oh, please let nothing more than drunken kisses have happened with him. She could never tell John the truth. She and George really were just friends. What had happened with him had only been because she was drunk and high and thought she and John were done. She felt horribly guilty about it even so. Would relieving that guilt make it worth the pain she would cause John if she told him? What if telling him created a rift between him and George, and what if that caused the Beatles to break up? No, she could never tell him. It simply wouldn’t be fair to him or anyone else. She would just have to live with the guilt.
“In the interest of going forward, I propose two things, “ John said. “One, is that we forgive each other and let go of everything that’s happened until this moment. A fresh start.”
“That sounds wonderful,” Maggie said with relief.
“The other proposal is this. Miss Margaret, I don’t ever want to give you a reason to doubt me again. I would be lost without you. Please marry me?”
“John, I already told you I would, or have you forgotten that you’ve already asked me that?” She held up her hand with the ruby ring on it.
“I’ve never forgotten, but that’s not what I meant. I want you to marry me right now.”
“Now? Why now?”
“Well, when you know that want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. Our life. Together. For better or worse ‘til death do we part.”
“Don’t say that word.”
“Which? Death?”
“Yes. I can’t bear the thought of you dying. The thought of losing you to Yoko was bad enough.”
“Luv, if I had left you for Yoko, when December 8, 1980 rolled around, what would you have done?”
“I would have beaten both Yoko AND that gunman senseless with my bare hands if I had to. Whatever I had to do to save you.”
“You would still try to save me even if I betrayed you?”
“I know what kind of man you are, John. The good and the bad. Knowing all that I know, from all the books and from all our time together - I don’t think there’s anything that would have kept me away.”
“I don’t deserve you, luv.”
“No, you don’t deserve Yoko,” she teased him.
“Saved again!” he laughed.
“Again? But I haven’t really saved you yet. From being shot on that day.”
“But we’ve changed things, haven’t we? I’m not with Yoko, so I won’t be in the wrong place in the wrong time in 1980, will I?”
“Maybe, but now it will be impossible to predict HIS whereabouts, won’t it? We won’t know what could happen or when.”
“Well, that’s life, isn’t it, luv? For most of us, anyway. Knowing that there’s no certainty in any of it…”
“That’s the worst part. I knew what would happen to Brian, I warned him and I still didn’t save him. What if I can’t save you no matter what?
“Then that’s the way it goes. What matters is that we keep trying.”
“And we will,” Maggie promised. A thought occurred to her. “Maybe we can hire a private detective sometime in the late 70s - we’ve got deep pockets, maybe we can make sure we keep tabs on HIS whereabouts. If we know what he’s up to, we can be forewarned.”
“That’s the spirit, luv! It’s not only me you know. There’s George to consider.” His eyes widened suddenly, as if he’d had a flash of insight. “Wait - Linda... she’s the one with the breast cancer?”
Maggie nodded. “And there’s Mal. And Maureen. I can’t let her die, even if part of this mess is her fault.”
“You should say something to her, luv. It wasn’t right what she did.”
“Maybe I will. I don’t want to be at odds with her like this. There are... reasons for how I feel about her, but I think I need to get past them. Or rather, get past MY past and the things I think I know about you all. Fresh start, as you said.”
“I think that’s a good idea.”
“There’s one more thing,” Maggie swallowed hard, wanting to skip this part, but in the interest of fairness, she had to tell him everything he’d lose by staying with her. “One more thing I’ve taken from you...You had a son with Yoko.”
John studied her for a moment, and then gave her a soft smile. “Maybe he will be our son this time around.”
“I’d like that,” she said, feeling suddenly shy.
“Shall we see what we can do about it?” John pulled her up from the floor.
“Now?”
“Now, later, tomorrow. It doesn’t matter, luv. I’ve told you. We have all the time in the world.”
“Tomorrow never knows, though, does it?” Maggie said, playing on the title of one of John’s songs.
He grinned and kissed her nose. “No, but today does. And today we are alive and together, and that is all I care about.” With that John pulled her close. “Will you marry me, then?”
“Of course I will.”
He lightly kissed her eyes and her nose, and then her lips. Her face was a bit puffy and red from crying, but he thought she’d never looked more beautiful. She was all his, and he swore he would do his best to see that she never cried because of him again.
* * *
George made Linda breakfast as she chattered about her night with Paul, and he managed to put together part of the story. Clearly John had not been with Yoko, and he hoped that Maggie and John were working things out upstairs. The fact that they hadn’t come back down yet was good. They were so right for each other - they just needed to learn to trust each other better. He hoped Maggie didn’t feel guilty about last night. She’d simply needed comforting, and he was happy he’d been there to do it.
What a mess this whole situation had been. Things were much simpler and less dramatic between he and Pattie; there was no third party like Yoko to interfere in their relationship.
Paul popped in just as George had set the breakfast food on the table. Paul looked tentative when he saw two place settings. “Room for a third?”
George smiled at him. “There’s always room for you, Paul.” He found that he even meant it. George grabbed another plate and split the eggs three ways. Paul grinned back at George, and leaned over to kiss Linda.
“Hey, Paul,” George said as they all sat down to eat. “Maybe after breakfast I can play you my new song.”
“I’d like that, George. I really would.”
Linda watched the two men studying each other. Maggie had said there’d been some tension between them in India. That was bound to happen, she supposed - especially in a band like this. But she knew that Paul loved the Beatles like nothing else. She leaned her head against Paul’s shoulder, and he looked down at her and smiled.
Peacefully the three of them ate their breakfast. The sun broke through the clouds and poured through the window, bathing them in its light. George felt it warm him inside and out. The start of a new tune was floating in his head, and he thought he just might be able to turn it into a song. He smiled as he gazed out the window. It looked like it was going to be a beautiful day.
Epilogue
One week later.
The crowds pushed and shoved trying to get a glimpse of the happy couple. Girls were crying. It was tantamount to a National Tragedy for a Beatle to get married. And to an AMERICAN. Finally the couple escaped into their car, which slowly drove off.
John and Maggie watched, peeping through one of the windows of the Marylebone Register Office.
“Well, I guess Paul is officially off the market,” John sighed. “I wouldn’t have thought Linda would have caved so quickly!”
“You Beatles are awfully hard to resist...” Maggie giggled. “Are you sad to lose Paulie?”
“Well, he was me first love...”
Maggie pouted. “And what am I?”
“My wife!” he grinned at her, as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her soundly. “Was it really just a few days ago that we were being pushed and shoved into a car by mourning fans, Mrs. Lennon?”
“Exactly four days ago, Mr. Lennon. Two Beatles married in less than the space of a week.” She shook her head. “It really is a national tragedy.”
“Just so you know, Mrs. Lennon,” John broke off to kiss her again, “I wouldn’t have minded if you’d kept your own name. Or I could have changed my middle name or something. I know women in your time have more options.”
“Thank you,” she said seriously. She knew he had changed his (admittedly hated) middle name to match Yoko’s last name, so she did appreciate the gesture and knew he meant what he said. It was the 60s and changing one’s name was conventional for women - but John was never a man for convention.
“Maybe I can use my own name professionally. After all, it wouldn’t look good to have a Mrs. Lennon running Apple, would it? What if she showed favoritism to her favorite Beatle?”
“Ringo?”
“Of course! Everyone loves Ringo!” She smiled at John and ran her fingers through his relatively short hair. She was relieved he didn’t look gaunt, like the John of the late 60s that she remembered. He looked young and healthy, and nearly like he had just stepped out of Help! - all except for the glasses he wore. In his wedding attire, he looked adorable, and perfect for his role as Paul’s best man. “But I’m happy to be Mrs. Lennon, otherwise, thank you!”
“Is that right, Mrs. Lennon?”
“That’s right. I’ll need your last name for credibility when I write my tell-all book.”
“Remember, you promised I could illustrate it.”
“All right.” She smiled at the thought of what such a book might look like.
“You know,” John said with a wink and a leer, “Sex does sell. How about we spend a week in Scotland and see if we can give you something good to write about.”
“It’s a deal!” Maggie said. “Wait, did Paul give you the use of his farm? Won’t he and Linda want it?”
“Oh, they’re going to honeymoon in America. After they see Heather and the rest of Linda’s family, they’re going to spend some time at Niagara Falls, because that is what American honeymooners do. Then they’re packing Linda and Heather’s life up and they are moving to England to stay.”
“That’s wonderful.”
“Let’s go home and get packed ourselves, Mrs. Lennon. We’ve got a train to catch!”
Hand in hand, they left the Register Office by the side entrance, where their car was waiting. Only a few fans had stuck around, and they made only a half-hearted attempt at keeping John and Maggie from getting in the car. What was the use? The Beatles were all married. They only thing they had left to live for was the Beatles’ next album.
* * *
Five weeks later.
Maggie woke up feeling vaguely nauseated. She sat up carefully. No, she was definitely going to throw up. She raced for the bathroom and made it just in time. She checked to make sure she hadn’t woken John, and then rinsed her mouth out. She still didn’t feel well.
Maggie studied her face in the mirror, and then her body. She was late, but she hadn’t had any of the other symptoms of being pregnant until now. Tentatively she poked at her stomach. Could it be? Was she pregnant? If she were, she would be what, six weeks along?
She and John had been somewhat lackadaisical with their birth control for some time. Clearly all the Beatles were, as Cynthia and Mo had both been pregnant when they’d gotten married. Maggie wondered about Linda. She’d been pregnant when Paul had married her the first time around. Poor Pattie would never be able to get pregnant, but Maggie remembered that George and Olivia had married a month after Dhani was born.
John had said from the beginning that he’d be happy to have more children with Maggie, and that if it happened, it happened. Well, it looks like it had happened. Maggie sat down on the edge of the bath, clutching her stomach. Maybe this baby would be their Sean. She grimaced. She’d never liked the name, perhaps because of the association with Yoko.
George!
Thinking of him and Olivia brought the memory back. Six weeks ago, she may or may not have slept with George. That meant that the only thing that was certain was that this baby’s father was a Beatle.
Her head dropped into her hands and she had to force herself not to cry. What was she going to do now?
THE END
~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N
OH NOES, IT'S ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER!!!1111!! We are so mean, aren't we?
But never fear, we have plans for a third story, to be called "Real Love" - and we already have Chapter 1 written! It's going to take us a bit to write enough to be able to start posting, so you'll have to give us some time. The next story will pick up pretty much where this one left off, so we're not going to have short stories between books like we did last time.
BUT in the interim, we do have a few little treats. We have the Alternate Chapter 24 we promised, and we also have entertained ourselves by writing a few Alternate Universe stories for our Alternate Universe story. So we'll share those as well, over the next few Sundays. There's one with Ringo, one with Mick, one with Maggie's BFF from her own time, Jenny Sue, and more!
Again, thank you so much for reading, all of you!
ETA: Here is the beginning of the next story!
Chapter One of Real Love Want your own bound and printed copy of Yes It Is (and associated short stories) and Tomorrow Never Knows? You can get them from Lulu.com. You can also download a .pdf from Lulu for FREE!!
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/lovely_rita_mm