THE LAW OF CYCLES for FOPSYCHE94
For: fopsyche94
Title: The Law of Cycles
Pairing(s): Chanyeol/Kai, side!Suho/D.O, hinted!Xiumin/Luhan
Rating: soft R
Length: ~9,400w
Summary: Chanyeol has to work on a project with his ex, which brings back old feeling.
Author's note: Firstly, thanks for the prompt! Secondly, before you read, I just want you to know that I took the liberty to interpret “ex-husband” as “ex-lover”, knowing that gay marriage has yet to be legalised and accepted in South Korea, but I swear it’s the only alteration I made to your prompt! I hope you’ll forgive me and enjoy the read nonetheless ^^
If you were to ask Chanyeol whether he preferred to be woken up by his dog-biscuit-breathed Pomeranian, Baekkie, licking his face or by the strident ringing of his phone, he’d promptly tell you neither of them, thank you very much. To the questions: "what is his puppy doing in his bedroom when he’s sure he’s closed the door the night before" and "who the hell is calling him at eight on a freaking Saturday morning", he really can’t answer either at the moment, his mind still hazy with too little sleep. Still, while the former question will remain a perpetual mystery, the latter can be answered with just one name, echoing aggressively from the other end of the line.
“Hey! It’s Junmyeon!” Any voice, even his old friend’s smooth, calculated one, sounds harsh so early in the morning.
“This better be freaking important if you're calling me at such an ungodly hour, Jun hyung." Chanyeol yawns and stirs, shifting to a sitting position in his bed and dislodging an indignant Baekkie in the process. The puppy yelps derisively, glares at Chanyeol, and awkwardly jumps down from the duvet to saunter off to the living room area where his dog bed is.
“I’ve got a job offer for you.” Junmyeon says, skipping any kind of formalities that he knows are pointless, because Chanyeol won’t take any of his bullshit.
“And you couldn’t wait until a week day to tell me? I'm guessing that the job isn’t flying away if you're personally proposing it to me.”
“Stop being so negative, Chanyeol! I’m sure you’ll be up for the job once you know what it is!”
“Well please tell me, hyung, this suspense is killing me.” Chanyeol deadpans, running a hand through his messy bed hair and ruffling it lazily.
“Okay. Listen, I’m producing a new musical, and I want you to compose the original soundtrack for it.”
Chanyeol sits up abruptly, nearly knocking over a pile of clothes resting at the end of the bed, on the unoccupied side. “What do you mean? I get to compose the entire OST? All of it?”
“Well yeah, that’s what you do, isn’t it?”
Chanyeol doesn’t need to think twice. He’s been working on and off on musicals, dramas and even on some featured films, but at the moment he’s got nothing to keep his mind occupied. Musicals are the sets he likes most, and he knows the pay’s going to be good if Kim Junmyeon’s involved in the project.
“What is the musical about?” Chanyeol asks. He can’t let Junmyeon know he’s kind of desperate for the job, though.
“Well I suggest you come to the office on Tuesday and you’ll find out more. If you’re interested, of course.”
“Wait…hyung--”
“Bye! See you Tuesday!” Junmyeon hangs up and Chanyeol frowns at his phone with a sigh.
Junmyeon: 1 - Chanyeol: 0.
“So, guys! I’d like to introduce a new concept: an all-male musical!” Junmyeon exclaims as he presses on his remote control and a big “Aladdin” in shiny letters appears on the meeting-room screen.
“How is that new?” Asks Kyungsoo, one of the lead singers. “They’ve been doing all-male musicals for decades in Japan.”
Junmyeon’s lips twitch for a moment before settling into a thin, pinched line. “Well, this is Korea, and this is new, in Korea.” He fumbles with technology for a few more moments before a new slide appears on screen. “Well, you all know each other here but a little reminder won’t hurt anybody. For the lead cast, we have Son Dongwoon as Aladdin, Kim Jongdae as the Genie, Do Kyungsoo as Jasmine and Huang Zitao as Jafar. Hello everybody.” They nod one at a time when their names are called. “As for music, it will be composed by Park Chanyeol sitting here on my right, and choreography will be managed by KAI, but he’s still on a tour with his ballet troupe at the moment so you’ll all meet him later.” It’s Chanyeol’s turn to nod now, but he soon tunes Junmyeon out because all the names he calls after his own don’t ring a bell whatsoever.
It’s been a long time since Chanyeol’s sat in this meeting-room. He’s glad to work with professionals as good as Dongwoon, Jongdae and Kyungsoo. The dance crew aren’t complete strangers either, for he’s seen them many times on TV, the Chinese-Korean group having won a substantial number of worldwide awards. The two leaders, Kim Minseok and Lu Han, seem as immersed in their own little world at the moment as Chanyeol was in his thoughts.
Chanyeol doesn’t realise Junmyeon’s soliloquy is over until a stack of printed A4 sheets is shoved on the table before him. “Here are the lyrics, which I wrote, for the musical. For now, only the costume designer and the music composer will be working and Chanyeol, by the end of the month, when KAI is back from his tour, I expect about one third of the OST to be composed. Only then will we be ready to start rehearsing.” Dramatic pause. “Any questions?”
“Yeah.” Kyungsoo lifts his hand, in a good-student sort of habit, and waits for Junmyeon’s attention to set on him. The latter’s expression could make people think he’s experiencing a painful case of constipation, but Chanyeol knows that that is simply his default expression when facing adversity, now embodied in the form of ex-idol-turned-actor Do Kyungsoo. “Why the hell am I Jasmine?”
Over the following weeks, Chanyeol is hard at work. He spends his time between recording studios at the SUHO Ent. building, where he meets more cast singers, practices with them and notes down their vocal ranges, gets a feel of the various available music instruments, and his apartment where he can take advantage of much needed calm to compose on his synth with his headphones on. Baekkie keeps Chanyeol company by running in circles around his slipper-clad feet, licking his ankles and yelping excitedly when it’s time to take a poop. When Chanyeol takes him down to the riverside, he basks in the sunlight, the gentle breeze and the shade the trees cast irregularly on his path. Every time he goes back home after walking his dog, a new, motivating surge of inspiration takes him and he blackens out pages and pages of notes until far into the night.
He goes to the musical venue once to assess the hall’s acoustics. He’s worked here once or twice before, but the stage is slightly different this time. The space where there’s normally an orchestra will be filled out with more seats so the overall sound will be altered. Chanyeol tries playing on a grand piano, a cello and a guitar. He then goes to the sound controls room and starts turning on the amplifiers. He tries out several different arrangements for a little less than an hour before reaching a satisfying result and writing down the correct settings for the next time.
As he’s leaving, Chanyeol decides to have a last look at the stage. He’s a bit surprised to see it being filled in with dancers from Minseok and Lu Han’s crew. Minseok waves him over.
“Hey, Chanyeol! We’re here to set our positions for the show! Good thing you’re here too, your can meet KAI, our choreographer. It’s his second day back in Korea after a long time; let’s welcome him properly so that he doesn’t feel too disoriented.”
Minseok leads Chanyeol backstage, happily chatting and patting his back as if he was not a head shorter than him, ushering him through the changing room door.
“Hey KAI! Meet our composer!” Minseok yells enthusiastically, failing to notice that Chanyeol’s just frozen in place.
He’s looking at the form of a man’s lean back, long muscles highlighted by a black wife-beater and basketball shorts, flexing from time to time as he rummages through a sports duffle bag. The man turns at Minseok’s voice and flashes him a smile, showcasing a row of straight, white teeth. A smile that Chanyeol knows better than the back of his hand and that still has his stomach churning in an unmistakable way.
“Minseok hyung, just call me Jong…in.” The smile falters but doesn’t subside completely. “Oh. Hi…Chanyeol hyung.”
Now that his former roommate, Yifan, has returned to China, Chanyeol’s dorm room feels very lonely. So, when the dorm attendant told him a week ago that he would be getting a new roommate, he was both excited and relieved. Chanyeol is not one to live on his own. He needs the constant company and warmth of someone beside him-- he sincerely hopes he’ll get along with the new roommate as well as he did with Yifan. Chanyeol knows he’s supposed to arrive at the dorm today, but he doesn’t know the exact time.
Instead of doing something productive like completing his overdue assignment or reviewing his notes for musicology, he grabs his guitar and starts strumming a Radiohead tune for a start.
It’s only after he’s gone through half of Nirvana’s Nevermind that he hears someone knock on the door. It’s so faint that he almost doesn’t catch it over Come As You Are’s beginning riff.
“Yeah? Come in.”
Chanyeol is putting his guitar away on its stand and goes up to the door when he hears a loud racket from behind it. He pulls it open and finds himself facing a wobbly pile of cardboard boxes. He can only see a head of fluffy brown hair from behind the topmost box.
“Hey, let me help you with this.” Chanyeol offers, grabbing two of the boxes even before getting any consent from the stranger.
He puts them down next to the unoccupied bed with a huff and turns around to face the newcomer again.
“Hello,” the boy says hesitantly as he places his box next to the other ones. “I'm Jongin. I guess we're roommates now?”
Now that Chanyeol can have a proper look at him, he can't say he's not impressed by the guy's good looks. He's tall - well, not as tall as Chanyeol, but Chanyeol's kind of a giant so he's no reference - and slim, all long limbs and firm lines. But what strikes Chanyeol most are his new roommate's features. They're soft and boyish, adorned by a sheepish smile as he extends his hand toward Chanyeol.
“Hi. I'm Chanyeol. Nice to meet you!” He tries to regain his composure as quickly as possible, not wanting to be caught staring at the person he'll be spending substantial amounts of time with from now on. “So I heard you're a freshman?”
“Yeah. I major in dance,” Jongin says as he plops down on his bed and pats the mattress as if to test how hard it is. “You?”
“Music.”
“Wow, that's chill.” There's a (very cute) smile dancing on Jongin's lips now, and a sparkle of interest in his expressive eyes. “Do you play any instruments?”
Chanyeol grabs his guitar and shows it to Jongin. “May I introduce you to Lilah, my beloved Gibson Les Paul acoustic that my parents gave me for my eighteenth birthday.”
Jongin stares at the beautiful wooden instrument with wide eyes.
“Oh my God. This thing probably costs more than my two kidneys.”
“I'd give my liver for a Les Paul,” Chanyeol agrees, feeling a big grin creeping up his lips.
“You'd be playing from your grave, then. What a shame.”
Chanyeol laughs out loud, slapping his knee in the process and forgetting to mind that he's probably making himself look like a fool in front of his new roommate, who just chuckles lightly, the sound warm and rich like honey.
“How do you know that Les Paul's are that freaking expensive, by the way?” Chanyeol asks, once he's able to speak again.
“I minor in music.”
If Chanyeol could pause his life, he would probably pick this exact moment to mark the point in time when his life started changing irrevocably.
“I refuse to work with him!” Chanyeol shouts, hands slamming onto Junmyeon’s showy mahogany desk.
Junmyeon doesn't even flinch at Chanyeol's outburst but looks up at him, unimpressed. “It's not exactly like you have a choice.”
“You knew I'd say no so you didn't tell me Jongin was in it too.”
“If only you had bothered googling KAI's name you'd have known. It's not like I hid anything from you.”
Chanyeol throws his arms up, at a loss for what to say, anger silently boiling up in his throat.
“You can't back out now.” Junmyeon declares calmly.
“You're telling me that even as you're forcing me to work with my ex!” Chanyeol hisses through gritted teeth. “You have some nerve.”
“Professionals can work with anybody,” Junmyeon seems to be engrossed in his freshly-done manicure. “Your personal life doesn't have to get in the way.”
“Like you're one to talk!” Chanyeol's voice hitches up a notch. “You casted Kyungsoo as Jasmine as your own form of revenge.”
Junmyeon quickly forgets about his filed nails upon hearing that. He stands up from his seat and leans over his desk to face Chanyeol. He knows Junmyeon is clearly annoyed, if the haphazard twitching in his right cheek is any indication.
“If you try, even remotely, to quit or make Jongin second guess his decision, let me tell you right now that this will be the last time you will ever work in the entertainment industry,” Junmyeon puts his hand on his desk phone and stares at Chanyeol pointedly. “If I make this phone call, you're done for,” he adds with a saccharine-sweet smile. “So think it over.”
Chanyeol is excited because tonight is DVD night with Jongin and he can't wait to lounge on the couch with a couple of beers, some greasy pizza and a stupid flick worth playing only to collect Chanyeol and Jongin's colourful comments.
Chanyeol is waiting in a hall of the dance wing, where he's supposed to pick Jongin up. When the wait is too long to bear (five minutes is a long time in Chanyeol's book), he decides to go bother his new-found friend. He asks around and soon enough a short girl with a pony tail tells him Jongin is rehearsing in studio C. Chanyeol fidgets in front of the door for a moment, wondering if he should interrupt Jongin or not. Finally, his impatience wins over and he pushes the door.
What he sees next is probably Chanyeol's most vivid memory to date. It is the first time he sees Jongin dance. To say he's mesmerized would be an understatement. Jongin is all grace and elegance, his body oscillating between powerful, sharp moves and smooth, curvy arabesques. Chanyeol knows little about dance, but even he can tell with no doubt that Jongin is a wonderful dancer. The Jongin he sees right now is not the same as the one he rubs shoulders with daily. The Jongin who is dancing so perfectly in front of him right now is a new facet of Jongin that Chanyeol is eager to discover.
Jongin hadn’t noticed Chanyeol's arrival, so the latter decides to let him finish practice. He wouldn't forgive himself for troubling such a delicate piece anyway. When Jongin finally falls to his knees and bends his head in an final move, Chanyeol breaks the magic and makes his presence known by clapping slowly.
Jongin looks up and immediately discards his dancer self. The borderline shy grin that Chanyeol's gotten to know so well is back on his lips as he scratches the back of his head in an embarrassed fashion.
“That was fantastic!” Chanyeol says enthusiastically.
Jongin beams and Chanyeol's heart stutters at the sight. “Really?”
“Yeah! You're an amazing dancer, Jongin!”
“Well, thanks, hyung.”
Chanyeol laughs and marches towards Jongin to ruffle his hair. He doesn't even mind that it's slightly damp with sweat. Jongin swats his hand away, giggling. “Stop that, hyung. It's gross.”
Chanyeol shrugs and points at the baby grand piano in a corner of the practice room. “How about I play the next time?”
“Would you?” Jongin looks properly surprised.
Chanyeol nods with a smile he's sure is a bit too wide.
It becomes a regular thing, then. Chanyeol playing the piano and Jongin dancing to it.
In retrospect, Chanyeol thinks there would have been no better way to bond than over their shared passion for music.
Chanyeol has to show up at the office at least once a day if he doesn't want to be harassed by Junmyeon, so he makes a point to avoid him and Jongin like the plague, for he doesn't want to deal with any of them at the moment.
It's on the occasions when he works with his old friends Jongdae and Kyungsoo, together or separately, that he finally remembers why he likes his job. They're hard-working and understanding, not to mention incredibly talented.
“You look out of it, hyung?” Kyungsoo says when he's practising with Chanyeol once.
“I'm a bit tired,” he answers honestly. “All of this,” he makes a wide arm gesture that could cover either the studio or the whole building. “It's taken its toll on me. Especially Junmyeon's manners…”
“Tell me about it! He's been so obnoxious at home lately, trying to boss me around and what not.”
“Hey, Kyungsoo,” the shorter man looks up to him with his abnormally large eyes. “How do you manage to work alongside your boyfriend?”
“This is about Jongin, isn't it?”
Kyungsoo's stare is so powerful that Chanyeol can't even try to lie to him; he'd see through it immediately. “Yeah,” Chanyeol sighs. “I don't know how to separate private life and work. It's never happened to me before. How do you do with Junmyeon?”
“Well, it's simple. Once we cross the entrance doors, we become co-workers. It's more about the project and less about us.”
“Oh. I see.” Chanyeol says, even if he doesn’t.
“All your passion, all your energy--you have to pour it into your work and stop worrying about a relationship that ended years ago.”
“You're probably right.”
When he's at home, Chanyeol tries his best to focus on minor touch-ups on his computer. Baekkie is also a good distraction in times like this, always running across the living room and hopping about, gnawing at Chanyeol's socks when he wants to go out. His strolls draw out to the point where it's Baekkie who's dragging Chanyeol home. If he didn't know better, he would assume he's experiencing a serious case of denial.
Denial of work? Not really.
Denial of the fact that Jongin is just as sexy and handsome and perfect as he was four years ago? Very much so.
This state of mind eventually takes its toll on Chanyeol's production. He thinks about Jongin, it makes him angry, he can't sleep at night and so his music sucks.
There's a problem and Chanyeol knows it.
However, he's not sure if he's ready to face it.
Sehun. Sehun. Sehun...
Music is all about cycles and repetitions, but if there's something that Chanyeol doesn't like to hear more than once in a sentence, it's Jongin's friend's name: Sehun.
Sehun here, Sehun there, it's like Jongin's life revolves around him and Chanyeol refuses to admit that it bothers him just a bit too much for it to be bearable.
Sehun is a fairly nice guy. Chanyeol has met him several times, at his dorm, at the cafeteria, and even when he picks Jongin up after practice. Sehun is also a freshman dance major, and as a result, he's got most of his classes with Jongin, so it's only normal that they spend a lot of time together.
But it's not normal when this time becomes superior to Jongin and Chanyeol's bro time.
Yeah, because they're bros, Chanyeol thinks, having more and more trouble convincing himself that there's nothing else.
Tonight, Chanyeol is happy because it's the first DVD night in a month that hasn't been cancelled for the sake of dance practice or a study date with Sehun at the library. Jongin comes back to the dorm tired but he insists on watching Disney's Aladdin with Chanyeol.
The carpet is just about to be tamed when Chanyeol feels Jongin's head plop on his shoulder. Normally, he would have woken him up with a flick to the forehead but this time, Chanyeol spares him. Jongin is obviously exhausted by the harsh rhythm of college, precariously balancing his life between dancing, studying and spending time with friends. Now that he's asleep, Chanyeol doesn't have it in him to disturb the rare peace of mind Jongin can afford.
His features are relaxed, all tension gone, and he looks significantly younger, like he's barely out of his pre-teen years. His complexion is fresh and still a bit rosy from earlier exertion. Jongin's lips are slightly parted, a bit slick but also very inviting.
Wait what. A bro’s lips shouldn't be inviting. You don't want to kiss your bro.
Except that Chanyeol craves it.
He understands now why he feels so helpless and angry at Sehun for no apparent reason.
He understands, now that his friend is sleeping on him and that his thick lips are the centre of his world--
--that he is utterly in love with him.
In theory, Chanyeol and Jongin can work separately. It's not the best nor the most convenient way to get things done, but Chanyeol isn't ready to face his ex-lover just yet.
They manage for a few days, but as expected, on one fine morning, Chanyeol is called to Junmyeon's office. He is not surprised to find Jongin sitting in front of their boss' desk, an expression of mild surprise painted on his features.
“I guess you already know why you're here.” Junmyeon states, skipping any kind of formalities.
“I have no idea.” Chanyeol lies with as much confidence as he can muster at the moment.
“Well let me tell you, then.” Junmyeon indicates the chair next to Jongin's with a small nod. “Please have a seat.”
Chanyeol assumes it's useless to protest so he obliges, albeit reluctantly.
“What's today's date?” Junmyeon asks.
Chanyeol hates Junmyeon's little games, but if he wants to get out he has to play along. “May the 2nd.”
“Exactly. And when were we supposed to be done with music composition?”
“On May the 1st, dammit.” Chanyeol sighs exasperatedly. “Yeah, I'm late, I know. So now, please, tell me what you want exactly instead of beating around the bush because I'm getting tired of your shit.”
Jongin turns to him with wide eyes. Chanyeol from four years ago didn't rebel against hierarchy, so he's got every reason to be astonished.
“My, is that a way to address your boss?” Junmyeon, as always, remains unphased. He coughs a little in his fist and straightens in his seat. “In order to get things done, quickly, I need you both to work together.” As Jongin nods in approval, Chanyeol opens his mouth to protest. “And no need to resist, Chanyeol, you already know you won't win this game, so spare your energy and use it to write your freaking music!”
The slight loss of temper is the tell-tale clue that reveals the true depth of Junmyeon's exhaustion and the pressure he’s under. Plus, despite their current appearances, Junmyeon is Chanyeol's friend before being his boss. And what do friends do? They help each other.
“Okay. We'll do our best.” Chanyeol yields.
He can see the faintest smile on Jongin's lips and his stomach doesn't like the weirdly familiar feeling at all.
It's been two years since Jongin moved into the dorm with Chanyeol and that they've been best friends. Today's Chanyeol's graduation ceremony and he's fidgeting on his seat, shifting positions every ten seconds or so. His parents couldn't make it so it's just him and his friend. Jongin places a reassuring hand on his knee and smiles at him softly.
“Why so nervous? You graduated already, all you're here for is to receive a stupid diploma roll.”
Chanyeol's heart lifts a bit at the simple and friendly gesture and he tries forcing a smile on his face. The real reason why he's so antsy is the fact that soon, he will no longer live with Jongin, and it's just a matter of days before they go their own ways. If there's something Chanyeol doesn't want, it's to lose contact with his best friend just because college is over.
His train of thoughts is interrupted when his name is called through the hall's speakers. Jongin pats his back encouragingly and gives him a small push in the process. Chanyeol stands up, walks up the aisle and the rest is a blur.
The only thing he remembers clearly is Jongin's blinding smile when he comes back to his seat. Jongin's standing at the end of their row, with open arms. Chanyeol doesn't hesitate a second and lets himself be engulfed in Jongin's sturdy hold.
“Congratulations.” He whispers in his ear, and the sultry echoes of his voice have goosebumps crawling down Chanyeol's spine.
Jongin pulls back, looks straight into Chanyeol's eyes and the next second, his lips are firmly planted against his, in a short but passionate kiss.
“J-Jongin. I- What was...what about Sehun?”
Jongin just shrugs and chuckles lightly. “Please, hyung.”
Then he leans in for another kiss.
With everything going according to Junmyeon's plan, Chanyeol and Jongin start working together effectively. The beginnings are a bit hesitant, but Chanyeol clings to Kyungsoo's advice to remain strictly professional within the facilities.
As Chanyeol would have suspected, Jongin is very easy to work with. He's very open to suggestions, docile and attentive to any demands. Sometimes the whole dance crew, along with Jongin, fills in the practice room and in all honesty, Chanyeol realises that group emulation helps him compose a whole lot faster. Sometimes, it's just him and Jongin, and it's okay as long as they don't cross the professional terms border.
Of course, Jongin is the first one to do it after a full week of work.
“Are you ever going to ask?” It's barely a whisper, almost a rhetorical question, but the silence surrounding them leaves no space for monologues. Chanyeol is aware of the fact that Jongin has just addressed him and the slight pleading in his tone has his fingers freezing over the music sheet.
“I know everything about you, Chanyeol hyung.” He says as he crouches down, absently rubbing off a shoe stain on the practice room floor. Chanyeol puts his pencil down and stares at him silently. “I followed your career and watched every musical, every drama, every film or CF you worked on. Why didn't you ask about me? You didn't even know my stage name.”
He sighs and stands up slowly, stretching his probably sore muscles after exhausting them for such a long time. Chanyeol doesn't look up, eyes still focused on Jongin's previous position on the ground. He is at a loss for words, shy about the four years of Jongin's life he missed.
“Well, since you won't ask yourself, I'll tell you,” he takes a seat on the baby grand bench and starts talking. “I entered this ballet troupe in Chicago. At first, it was a blast. I didn't have any time to think because of practice, competitions and physical training, but I liked it. I was good the first year, but soon enough, competition took its toll on me. I wasn't used to that much pressure, so I left the troupe and entered a hip-hop institute. I was in New York, then. It was good as well, I met some very good friends there. But still, I didn't find what I was looking for. So I applied for a job in a South Korean dance crew and they liked me at first sight. We were touring all the time, and I quickly became the main choreographer. So far, it was my best experience, but I wanted to settle on a job that wouldn't need me in LA one day and Dallas the next, so I talked to Junmyeon and...here we are.”
Jongin's shoulders slump as if a heavy weight had been lifted off of them.Though perhaps it was also because of Chanyeol's lack of reaction after his soliloquy. Jongin turns to Chanyeol, sadness and something that looks dangerously like longing evident in his eyes.
“Hyung, please say something,” he nearly whines. “I just want us to be friends again.”
Chanyeol's heart clenches painfully at Jongin's desperate expression. He'd do anything to just reach out and stroke his cheek like he used to, for it to be so natural between them. But he's changed, and he supposes Jongin has as well. Things just don't go round in circles, do they?
Finally, seeing as Jongin makes no move to stand up from his spot and leave at all, Chanyeol gathers his things and gingerly presses Jongin's shoulder in a sort of 'I-acknowledge-you-took-the-first-step' gesture. “I need to think,” Chanyeol says as he lifts his hand off of Jongin, the feeling lingering on his palm like a slight burn, and makes a beeline for the door, heart hammering in his chest.
As he takes a deep breath outside the practice room, Chanyeol realizes that even after all the years, he's still not over Jongin.
Chanyeol and Jongin are taking a leisurely stroll around Seoul, carelessly walking hand in hand on the streets, unfazed by people's disgusted looks; they’d gotten used to them. They stop in front of a pet shop and Jongin coos at the puppies. He insists on going in, even though he knows Chanyeol is more of a ferret person than a dog-lover. But Chanyeol agrees as long as it can keep the wonderful smile Jongin's sporting at the moment.
Jongin plays with baby poodles, out of breath from of fits of puppy-induced laughter. “They remind me of my dogs back home. I miss them so much!”
Chanyeol leaves Jongin frolicing with the poodles to look around the shop. He's not a fan of dogs but he admits some of them do look cute when they're babies. A particular tiny puppy catches his attention. It's so small and fluffy that it looks more like a plush bear than an actual animal. The dog looks him in the eye and yelps so cute and high-pitched that Chanyeol's insides melt on the spot. He asks the shop clerk if it's okay to touch it and she nods fiercely before taking the dog from its playpen and handing it to Chanyeol. He freezes a bit when the fluffy animal writhes happily in the secure case made of Chanyeol's hands and licks his whole face like there's no tomorrow. “Looks like he loves you.” the clerk says, mirth audible in her tone.
Jongin's warm laugh tears Chanyeol out of his trance and he shows him the puppy. “Isn't he cute?” he asks, turning the dog towards his boyfriend. Immediately, it growls and yelps angrily. “I guess he doesn’t like me,” Jongin says with a mockingly sad pout.
After several more minutes spent with the dogs in the shop, they decide to leave a bit reluctantly.
“Let's get a dog when we live together,” Jongin offers as he interlaces his fingers with Chanyeol's.
Chanyeol doesn't know which one of the prospects makes him happier. Scratch that, he knows perfectly well. He thanks his luck to be able to finally come home to Jongin in the near future.
Chanyeol regrets accusing Baekkie of having eaten one of his music sheets when he finds it on his makeshift desk down in a practice room. He went back all the way to the entertainment building just to retrieve it, unable to work at home without it. Sometimes, Chanyeol curses his old ways of noting everything down on paper without bothering making digital copies.
When he leaves, everyone is already long gone. As he walks down the hall towards the main entrance, he sees light under one of the practice room doors. He ponders on leaving without turning off the light so that Junmyeon's electricity bills increase but he decides that he's not such a crappy friend and goes to the door. He stops dead when he hears faint music seeping through the wooden pane. He recognizes his own recording of one of the musical’s slower songs. This one is set at a particularly dramatic moment when Aladdin is about to die and the Genie makes a wish in his stead in order to save him. It's Jongdae's solo part, where he explores the depth of his self, and one of Chanyeol's favourites.
Pulled by a surge of courage, Chanyeol pushes the door silently to take a peek inside. He is suddenly brought back to several years ago, when he caught Jongin dancing on his own for the first time. The feeling is both foreign and familiar. Jongin is still as graceful as before, only now he's more mature in his moves and the confidence he puts in them. Chanyeol can tell it's now his profession and not just a hobby like it used to be.
Jongin's muscles flex and relax alternatively, rolling under his skin like the earth quake happening inside Chanyeol's chest. Beads of sweat run down his extended arms and stretched out neck, and the sight is far too erotic for Chanyeol not to remember the many intimate moments he shared with Jongin. There's a fine silver chain hanging from Jongin's neck and dipping underneath his low-collared wife-beater. If Chanyeol looks at him any longer, he knows he won't be able to control himself and it probably will lead him to do something with irreversible consequences. And now that he's a reasoning adult, he assumes that acting on arousal is probably the most reckless way to go.
Trying to regain normal breath and countenance, he closes the door again as discreetly as he can and rushes out of the building. Fresh air does little to relax the annoying tightness in his pants. Nor does the cold shower he hurries under when he gets back home.
That night, he thinks of sweaty limbs and parted, thick lips.
Needless to say, he doesn't get any sleep.
Their first time is both awkward and messy.
Jongin writhes under Chanyeol's larger form, giggling shyly when he caresses him down there. The chuckles become choked when he's touched more deeply, his back arching into the mattress as he experiences this kind of ecstasy for the first time.
Chanyeol fumbles with foil and latex for a bit longer than decency allows. Jongin tries to reach down to help him but it only elicits a harsh gasp and his hand swatted away. “I-I can do it myself.” Jongin laughs at him but, once again, he's cut short when something intrudes him quite uncomfortably.
Chanyeol is a bit too excited and quick at the beginning. The way Jongin's face scrunches could be seen as either pain or constipation but given the circumstances, he reckons it's the former. He tries to soothe away the ache by leaving butterfly kisses on Jongin's offered neck, slowing down his pace in the process. If Jongin's sighs of relief and maybe what sounds like pleasure are any indication, Chanyeol is doing the right thing.
They finally manage to set into a steady rhythm, meeting each other halfway in a powerful unison.
In the end, it's far from perfect, but then again it's their first time, and they know they have plenty of next times to rehearse.
“I love you, Chanyeol hyung,” Jongin whispers, in a sort of pillow confession.
“Let's move in together.” Chanyeol answers, leaving a deeper meaning hanging in the silence of the aftermath of love-making, and sealing their lips together.
Chanyeol's part of the job is done now, all of the music for the show composed, so his presence is no longer needed within the facilities. He wouldn't be very useful anyway, for his thoughts have been haunted by Jongin dancing, Jongin's body, Jongin's eyes, Jongin's everything.
Junmyeon offers him a well-deserved break, to relax at home and not come to work for a few days. When Junmyeon is significantly relieved, he tends to be more generous.
Chanyeol is grateful for the attention, but he fears that inactivity will have him thinking twice as much as he did when he worked. And thinking basically means being assaulted by sensual images of Jongin and for the sake of his sanity, Chanyeol would like it to cease, thank you very much.
So, he busies himself at home with overdue chores like laundry, some long-needed cleaning and paper sorting. He cooks his meals instead of ordering out and remembers that he used to be a good cook, once. Then again, when you cook for your significant other, food does taste a lot nicer and the effort put into it is worth it.
Chanyeol also plays more with Baekkie, who, like any dog, gives him love a hundredfold. He runs around him, goes and gets the ball, nuzzles his neck at night and cuddles and snores lightly next to him when he's watching TV, sprawled out on his otherwise too-empty loveseat.
He's precariously dozing off in front of some reality-TV crap program when he jolts awake at someone ringing the doorbell. Feeling a bit apologetic for disturbing Baekkie's sleep, he cautiously rouses from the comfort of his couch to answer the door.
His surprise is immeasurable when he finds himself face to face with the object of his constant wistful thinking.
“J-Jongin. What are you doing here? And how did you get my address?” Other unuttered questions collide in his mind, making him almost dizzy.
“Asked Junmyeon. He said he'd cope with the consequences, if there are any consequences,” Jongin answers calmly. “May I come in?”
Chanyeol nods and lets him enter. Baekkie immediately jumps from his dog place and runs to assault Jongin's ankles with his tiny teeth. “Your dog still hates me.”
Chanyeol gestures to the couch and mutes the TV. Jongin takes a seat and looks around the apartment curiously. This one is different from the one they used to share. Chanyeol couldn't resolve to keep it, full as it was with Jongin's scent and ghostly presence, and it was too big for one, anyway.
Chanyeol tries to flatten his wrinkled day-in clothes and runs a hand through his hair, suddenly overly conscious of his appearance. “Do you want something to eat?” he offers and Jongin hums in approval. Luckily, he's got leftovers of home-made food and takes them out of the fridge to heat it up. The act is so oddly familiar that a warm but bitter feeling overtakes Chanyeol's body, leaving him numb and making him feel stupid as he stands waiting in front of his microwave.
It's a bit awkward at first, but Jongin's natural ability at stepping carefully around sensible topics leaves them having a rather amiable conversation. That is, until Jongin breaks the ice with a jack-hammer thousand-dollar question.
“Are you seeing anybody?”
Chanyeol recoils a bit from the unexpected inquiry. He looks away from Jongin, who's been eating Chanyeol's penne all'arrabbiata with endearing enthusiasm. “Been dating on and off. But I'm not seeing anyone at the moment, no.”
Jongin nods. Chanyeol takes it as a cue to go on. “I haven't really dated anyone seriously, though, since--”
Baekkie barks loudly, breaking any kind of spell that could have overcome Chanyeol and pushed him into committing a probable mistake.
“Gotta feed Baekkie,” Chanyeol says as he gets up from the couch where he'd been sitting at an arm’s length distance from Jongin.
“Thanks for the food,” Jongin smiles softly. “I should go.”
Chanyeol nods. “Uh, Jongin?” The younger looks up at him expectantly. “A-About the friend thing,” Chanyeol doesn't know how to put it, stumbling on his words and cursing himself for being so disabled when in Jongin's immediate presence. “Is the offer still up?”
“Of course,” Jongin beams at him, extending his hand. “Friends again?”
Chanyeol takes the hand and shakes it carefully, committing every second of the touch to memory.
“Friends.”
“Jongin, will you marry me?” Chanyeol asks in an over-dramatic fashion, one knee on the ground.
Jongin chuckles, embarrassed, eyes darting around the park to check out passers-bys’ reactions. Luckily, the area is secluded enough so that they probably won't be bothered.
“We can't, Chanyeol hyung, it's South Korea!”
“Stop calling me hyung, call me yeobo,” Chanyeol orders as he unfolds to get to a standing position again, facing his boyfriend with a smirk.
“You're embarrassing, hyung,” Jongin hits Chanyeol's chest lightly, but there's really no ill intention behind the mostly sheepish gesture.
Chanyeol leans in and produces a small box. He opens it and reveals two silver couple rings. Taking advantage of Jongin's utter surprise, he grabs his left hand and slides the ring on. Jongin laughs but lets him.
Chanyeol's break from work proves short-lived, for Junmyeon calls him after three days and summons him in his office. He's not satisfied with Aladdin and Jasmine's love duet and demands that Chanyeol redo it on the spot.
Chanyeol isn't surprised nor offended. Deep down, he knew this piece wasn't at the same level as the others. But because it would probably become the musical’s main track, it couldn't be half-assed.
The dance is also crucial in the lover’s duet, so Chanyeol is aware of the fact that he will have to work with Jongin, and given the short notice, they will be stuck in the same room on their own for most of the time over the following days.
Chanyeol feels a mix of anticipation and dread. How much longer will he be able to control himself?
Quite unexpectedly, things go rather smoothly. Chanyeol comes up with several different melodies, and Jongin likes them all. Junmyeon even picks one up and seems satisfied with it
But there's something bothering Chanyeol, so he takes the music sheet from a very offended Junmyeon and tears it to pieces.
“I'll come up with something even better,” he bends formally in front of his shocked boss. “Please trust me on this, Jun hyung.”
“Happy anniversary!” Jongin yells happily as Chanyeol opens the door for him. It's been two years since Chanyeol's graduation and since they started dating.
Chanyeol notices Jongin's arms are covered with angry, red scratches. “What happened, baby? Did you fight with a cat?”
“With a dog,” he says as he picks up a box from the ground and hands it to Chanyeol gingerly. “Your dog, actually.”
“Oh God, Jongin.”
Chanyeol puts the box down and opens the tiny door. The Pom puppy he fell in love with at the shop the other day jumps to his face and licks him all over.
They play with the dog (well, Chanyeol plays, Jongin watches suspiciously) until the ball of fur has exhausted all of his energy and falls asleep in Chanyeol's lap where he soon snores contentedly.
“I called him Baekkie,” Jongin declares.
“Why?”
“In honour of your high-school crush, Byun Baekhyun. You always compared him to a puppy, so here you are. Your personal Baekhyun, all-you-can-cuddle.”
Chanyeol snorts, not believing his boyfriend.
“Aren't you jealous?”
It's Jongin's time to scoff at him. “Why would I be? I know you'll always love me more.”
Chanyeol's present for their anniversary is a song he composed especially for Jongin. He plays it on his guitar for the first time that night, and moves Jongin to tears.
They make love later, like never before, and in that special moment, they become one.
Chanyeol pulls an all-nighter to get to the perfect result he wanted. He's pretty content with what he is about to present, but he's still anxious about Jongin's reaction.
He went to the recording studio early this morning to record the piece on his own and edit it as he pleased. Now, he's clutching onto the CD case, almost trembling as he pushes the 'eject' button on the stereo system.
As usual, Jongin has to listen to the piece once to get a feel of it before starting to think about a good choreography for it. He normally stands in the middle of the practice room, head bent down and arms crossed against his chest, occasionally making a move or two according to the music. Chanyeol’s witnessed his work process quite a number of times now, but this time, it's different.
This time, Chanyeol is putting his heart on the table.
He presses play but his world pauses in expectancy.
Jongin's body language is like an open book for Chanyeol. As the recording plays, Chanyeol can see his shoulder tense, then his left foot jerks almost uncontrollably. Jongin takes his head in his hands and slowly raises it to gaze at Chanyeol. His eyes are slightly glossed over, and the single sight has Chanyeol's chest tightening achingly.
“Why?” Jongin asks in a whisper. “Why did you choose to use our song?”
“Are you okay with it?”
“Yeah but--”
“It's a love duet, after all...” Chanyeol leaves the implications of his words to silence and reflection.
Jongin nods ever so slightly and orders Chanyeol to press play again with a hand gesture.
And then he starts dancing. It's the first time Chanyeol sees so much sensitivity and fragility in Jongin's moves, usually so assured and controlled. It's like his entire body is quivering with emotion, but the balance with the music is so perfect that Chanyeol holds his breath for fear of breaking the harmony. With a delicate but nonetheless anguished wave of his upper body, Jongin concludes his improvised dance and engulfs a great intake of air, as if dancing to the song had bled all the energy and oxygen from his body.
Chanyeol is nothing short of mesmerised.
As soon as the song ends, he marches towards Jongin, cups his face and kisses him fiercely. There's not an ounce of resistance on Jongin's part-he opens his mouth hungrily, immediately inviting Chanyeol's tongue inside. Jongin grabs Chanyeol's hair and tugs on it, massaging and combing through it as he deepens the kiss by pulling Chanyeol's chest flush against his own. They don't even bother taking their breaths, drinking energy from each other, as if they had been starved for years. Chanyeol relocates his mouth on Jongin's offered neck and nips at it, licking and sucking on the tender flesh. He's never been so thirsty, so hungry, so needy for anything or anybody in his life.
“Ch-Chanyeol...ah--” Jongin nearly moans his name.
“Yeah?”
Jongin pulls away slightly and stares at Chanyeol. His dark, hooded eyes reflect both lust and vulnerability and Chanyeol thinks he's never looked as beautiful as he does now.
“One word from you...” he starts, panting for air. “One word from you, Chanyeol hyung, and I wouldn't have left four years ago.”
At these words, Chanyeol freezes and all desire is instantly replaced by cold anger. It's like someone has just poured a bucket of icy water on him. He detaches himself from Jongin's embrace and shoves him aside.
Not knowing what to say and fearing he might explode, Chanyeol runs out the door and slams it shut behind him.
“Hyung,” Jongin whispers, looking anywhere but at Chanyeol. “I got scouted to enter a ballet troupe.”
“Whoa! That's awesome, Jongin!” Chanyeol reaches out to hug him in congratulations but Jongin remains rigid in his hold. “Why the long face, though?”
“It's in Chicago.”
Although he tries his best to control his expression, Chanyeol knows his face falls almost imperceptibly. “You should go, Jongin. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to make your dream come true, don't let it slip away.” He swallows around the huge lump in his throat and wishes it had effectively blocked the words he's just uttered. But who is he to keep Jongin away from the fulfillment of so much work, from the dream he'd been chasing for so long?
Jongin pulls away, shoulders slumped and a heaviness in his step so unlike him. “I have to make a call, hyung.”
Two weeks later, Jongin flies to the States towards his destiny and away from a heart-broken Chanyeol.
The first stage is a total blast. The audience laughs, cries and gives a full-blown standing ovation at the end of the show. The main members of staff (including Junmyeon, Chanyeol and Jongin), the cast and the whole dance crew gather on stage to receive the applause.
Junmyeon is even offered a gigantic bunch of roses from the venue director and cries like a newborn. Chanyeol will never get used to the way his face crunches when trying to handle too many emotions at the same time.
Junmyeon throws a big after party in celebration at the penthouse atop the entertainment building. Chanyeol makes a point of avoiding Jongin at all costs - he's still fairly angry at him, and when everyone is pleasantly buzzed, he leaves unnoticed.
The show is such a success that it gets signed into multiple foreign languages. The scheduled time booked for the show is extended due to popular demand, and Chanyeol has to attend every single stage performance. Junmyeon hires two whole new sub casts for the permanent show in Busan and the Korean tour. It's a change to see him all smiles and full of good words for anyone crossing his path.
Of course, Chanyeol is conveniently extra busy, making his avoidance of Jongin easier. When they happen to run into each other, Jongin always tries to talk to him, but Chanyeol excuses himself each time, trying hard to overlook Jongin's dejected expression. And each time there's a new, fresh crack on his already broken heart.
Four months later, the musical comes to an end. No one expected it to be so successful, and it created a lot of extra work on top of the already substantial amount of it. Now that the show has come to a close, everyone is relieved. Hence another big-ass party, this one allowing any kind of debauchery, given that nobody has to sing or dance or manage stage lights the next day.
Chanyeol decides to stay longer this time. Conversation with Kyungsoo is pleasant and witty, Jongdae is at the very least as funny as the Genie and Minseok and Luhan are the people to hang out with if you want to enjoy a party. Even Junmyeon looks less constipated with his tie hanging loosely around his neck and spilling overpriced champagne on the poor souls who happen to cross his line of sight.
Chanyeol can affirmatively say he's having a great time until he spots Jongin, who, to Chanyeol's dismay, sees him as well. Jongin nearly runs to Chanyeol, grabs his wrist and drags him to a nearby, secluded balcony. Even though Chanyeol tries to resist, he realises that he won't be getting away as easily as he did before. The look in Jongin's eyes is determined - he's not going to give up, this time.
“Don't even try to get away before I say what I have to say to you,” Jongin says in one go. He takes a few steps back to give Chanyeol some sort of freedom of movement.
Chanyeol is perfectly aware that he shouldn't be thinking of Jongin's appearance given the seriousness of the moment, but he can't help ogling him. He's always done suits justice. Even when they were students and broke, and the only suits they could afford were from the corner thrift shop, they unmistakably looked designer on Jongin. Now is no exception, the dark fabric making his legs look longer and the jacket enhancing the straight, broad line of his shoulders. With his slicked-up hair glinting in the faint glow of the street lights, he looks absolutely stunning.
Chanyeol doesn't want to suffer anymore. He advances towards the penthouse’s main hall where the party is going on without them. He doesn't want to deal with something as unattainable as a long-lost love.
Jongin stops him. His firm grip on Chanyeol's forearm leaves no space to resistance.
“No,” he says with a steady voice.
With a strength Chanyeol didn't know Jongin possessed, he shoves him against the railing and keeps him at an arm’s length. With his free hand, he reaches into the collar of his shirt and pulls at the silver chain Chanyeol had noticed before. And there, in the hollow of Jongin's palm, instead of what Chanyeol thought was a pendant, rests a silver ring. It's not any ring, though. It's the second half of Chanyeol's own ring, the one he offered him what feels like ages ago.
“It's always been you,” Jongin murmurs. “All this time.”
“Then why did you leave?” The harshness Chanyeol wanted to instill in his tone echoes like a pained whine in his ears.
“Because you told me to. I thought I didn't mean enough for you to want to keep me by your side.”
Chanyeol's breath hitches, realizing how much they lost by never trying to understand each other. “It was your dream. Who was I to stop you from following your dream?”
Jongin bends his head, a sad smile straining on his lips. The hand he used to push Chanyeol relocates to his cheek and strokes it gently. Chanyeol makes no move to reject it. “I was young and foolish at that time. I understood too late that my dream didn't mean anything if I couldn't share it with you. Why do you think I came back?”
For the first time in a long while, Chanyeol feels a genuine smile tug at the corner of his lips. “You thought I would wait for you, huh?”
“You did, didn't you?”
As a reply, Chanyeol fishes his own ring from his shirt pocket. “I have it on me all the time,” he turns the shiny band between his thumb and index finger to let it catch light. “Near the heart.” He gives Jongin what he hopes is a convincing warning look. “Never leave me again.”
“I won't, hyung!” Jongin beams, on the verge of giggling like a teenage girl.
“Stop calling me hyung.”
Chanyeol grabs Jongin tie to pull him in and kiss him like there's no tomorrow.
Except, there are. Several, brighter ones.
Chanyeol is sitting against his pillows in his and Jongin's bed, in his and Jongin's bedroom, in his and Jongin's shared apartment. Even if it's the second time, it always feels just as good to know there is someone to wait for, or someone waiting for you at home, for that matter. He's reading the lyrics for Junmyeon's new project - an all-male Tangled musical. (Guess who was cast as Rapunzel!). He tries not to laugh too loud at the dumb lyrics for fear of waking Jongin up, he who's always spent most of his free time sleeping. Well, if Chanyeol is careful about his lover's slumber, Baekkie isn’t and decides to wriggle his fluffy backside from his quality spot on top of Jongin's hair.
Jongin stirs awake and shoves Baekkie away and between the two of them. “I swear to God, your dog is making my life a living Hell. I smell dog first thing in the morning.”
“At least he doesn't bite you when he sleeps,” Chanyeol answers good-naturedly.
Displeased of having been disturbed, Baekkie trudges with some difficulty on the folds of the comforter and finally reaches Jongin's wrist, which he starts nipping before licking it better.
“It's his way of showing you he loves you.”
“Then please never bite me even if--”
“I love you. Yeah.”
Chanyeol decides he's heard enough so early in the morning, so he shuts him up with a kiss.
After making sure Baekkie is out of the bedroom, he jumps on the bed and pins Jongin to the mattress. “I'll show you my way.”
FIN
Final author's note Thanks so much to the person who beta-ed my fic because they were lovely and did an awesome job <3
Title: The Law of Cycles
Pairing(s): Chanyeol/Kai, side!Suho/D.O, hinted!Xiumin/Luhan
Rating: soft R
Length: ~9,400w
Summary: Chanyeol has to work on a project with his ex, which brings back old feeling.
Author's note: Firstly, thanks for the prompt! Secondly, before you read, I just want you to know that I took the liberty to interpret “ex-husband” as “ex-lover”, knowing that gay marriage has yet to be legalised and accepted in South Korea, but I swear it’s the only alteration I made to your prompt! I hope you’ll forgive me and enjoy the read nonetheless ^^
If you were to ask Chanyeol whether he preferred to be woken up by his dog-biscuit-breathed Pomeranian, Baekkie, licking his face or by the strident ringing of his phone, he’d promptly tell you neither of them, thank you very much. To the questions: "what is his puppy doing in his bedroom when he’s sure he’s closed the door the night before" and "who the hell is calling him at eight on a freaking Saturday morning", he really can’t answer either at the moment, his mind still hazy with too little sleep. Still, while the former question will remain a perpetual mystery, the latter can be answered with just one name, echoing aggressively from the other end of the line.
“Hey! It’s Junmyeon!” Any voice, even his old friend’s smooth, calculated one, sounds harsh so early in the morning.
“This better be freaking important if you're calling me at such an ungodly hour, Jun hyung." Chanyeol yawns and stirs, shifting to a sitting position in his bed and dislodging an indignant Baekkie in the process. The puppy yelps derisively, glares at Chanyeol, and awkwardly jumps down from the duvet to saunter off to the living room area where his dog bed is.
“I’ve got a job offer for you.” Junmyeon says, skipping any kind of formalities that he knows are pointless, because Chanyeol won’t take any of his bullshit.
“And you couldn’t wait until a week day to tell me? I'm guessing that the job isn’t flying away if you're personally proposing it to me.”
“Stop being so negative, Chanyeol! I’m sure you’ll be up for the job once you know what it is!”
“Well please tell me, hyung, this suspense is killing me.” Chanyeol deadpans, running a hand through his messy bed hair and ruffling it lazily.
“Okay. Listen, I’m producing a new musical, and I want you to compose the original soundtrack for it.”
Chanyeol sits up abruptly, nearly knocking over a pile of clothes resting at the end of the bed, on the unoccupied side. “What do you mean? I get to compose the entire OST? All of it?”
“Well yeah, that’s what you do, isn’t it?”
Chanyeol doesn’t need to think twice. He’s been working on and off on musicals, dramas and even on some featured films, but at the moment he’s got nothing to keep his mind occupied. Musicals are the sets he likes most, and he knows the pay’s going to be good if Kim Junmyeon’s involved in the project.
“What is the musical about?” Chanyeol asks. He can’t let Junmyeon know he’s kind of desperate for the job, though.
“Well I suggest you come to the office on Tuesday and you’ll find out more. If you’re interested, of course.”
“Wait…hyung--”
“Bye! See you Tuesday!” Junmyeon hangs up and Chanyeol frowns at his phone with a sigh.
Junmyeon: 1 - Chanyeol: 0.
“So, guys! I’d like to introduce a new concept: an all-male musical!” Junmyeon exclaims as he presses on his remote control and a big “Aladdin” in shiny letters appears on the meeting-room screen.
“How is that new?” Asks Kyungsoo, one of the lead singers. “They’ve been doing all-male musicals for decades in Japan.”
Junmyeon’s lips twitch for a moment before settling into a thin, pinched line. “Well, this is Korea, and this is new, in Korea.” He fumbles with technology for a few more moments before a new slide appears on screen. “Well, you all know each other here but a little reminder won’t hurt anybody. For the lead cast, we have Son Dongwoon as Aladdin, Kim Jongdae as the Genie, Do Kyungsoo as Jasmine and Huang Zitao as Jafar. Hello everybody.” They nod one at a time when their names are called. “As for music, it will be composed by Park Chanyeol sitting here on my right, and choreography will be managed by KAI, but he’s still on a tour with his ballet troupe at the moment so you’ll all meet him later.” It’s Chanyeol’s turn to nod now, but he soon tunes Junmyeon out because all the names he calls after his own don’t ring a bell whatsoever.
It’s been a long time since Chanyeol’s sat in this meeting-room. He’s glad to work with professionals as good as Dongwoon, Jongdae and Kyungsoo. The dance crew aren’t complete strangers either, for he’s seen them many times on TV, the Chinese-Korean group having won a substantial number of worldwide awards. The two leaders, Kim Minseok and Lu Han, seem as immersed in their own little world at the moment as Chanyeol was in his thoughts.
Chanyeol doesn’t realise Junmyeon’s soliloquy is over until a stack of printed A4 sheets is shoved on the table before him. “Here are the lyrics, which I wrote, for the musical. For now, only the costume designer and the music composer will be working and Chanyeol, by the end of the month, when KAI is back from his tour, I expect about one third of the OST to be composed. Only then will we be ready to start rehearsing.” Dramatic pause. “Any questions?”
“Yeah.” Kyungsoo lifts his hand, in a good-student sort of habit, and waits for Junmyeon’s attention to set on him. The latter’s expression could make people think he’s experiencing a painful case of constipation, but Chanyeol knows that that is simply his default expression when facing adversity, now embodied in the form of ex-idol-turned-actor Do Kyungsoo. “Why the hell am I Jasmine?”
Over the following weeks, Chanyeol is hard at work. He spends his time between recording studios at the SUHO Ent. building, where he meets more cast singers, practices with them and notes down their vocal ranges, gets a feel of the various available music instruments, and his apartment where he can take advantage of much needed calm to compose on his synth with his headphones on. Baekkie keeps Chanyeol company by running in circles around his slipper-clad feet, licking his ankles and yelping excitedly when it’s time to take a poop. When Chanyeol takes him down to the riverside, he basks in the sunlight, the gentle breeze and the shade the trees cast irregularly on his path. Every time he goes back home after walking his dog, a new, motivating surge of inspiration takes him and he blackens out pages and pages of notes until far into the night.
He goes to the musical venue once to assess the hall’s acoustics. He’s worked here once or twice before, but the stage is slightly different this time. The space where there’s normally an orchestra will be filled out with more seats so the overall sound will be altered. Chanyeol tries playing on a grand piano, a cello and a guitar. He then goes to the sound controls room and starts turning on the amplifiers. He tries out several different arrangements for a little less than an hour before reaching a satisfying result and writing down the correct settings for the next time.
As he’s leaving, Chanyeol decides to have a last look at the stage. He’s a bit surprised to see it being filled in with dancers from Minseok and Lu Han’s crew. Minseok waves him over.
“Hey, Chanyeol! We’re here to set our positions for the show! Good thing you’re here too, your can meet KAI, our choreographer. It’s his second day back in Korea after a long time; let’s welcome him properly so that he doesn’t feel too disoriented.”
Minseok leads Chanyeol backstage, happily chatting and patting his back as if he was not a head shorter than him, ushering him through the changing room door.
“Hey KAI! Meet our composer!” Minseok yells enthusiastically, failing to notice that Chanyeol’s just frozen in place.
He’s looking at the form of a man’s lean back, long muscles highlighted by a black wife-beater and basketball shorts, flexing from time to time as he rummages through a sports duffle bag. The man turns at Minseok’s voice and flashes him a smile, showcasing a row of straight, white teeth. A smile that Chanyeol knows better than the back of his hand and that still has his stomach churning in an unmistakable way.
“Minseok hyung, just call me Jong…in.” The smile falters but doesn’t subside completely. “Oh. Hi…Chanyeol hyung.”
Now that his former roommate, Yifan, has returned to China, Chanyeol’s dorm room feels very lonely. So, when the dorm attendant told him a week ago that he would be getting a new roommate, he was both excited and relieved. Chanyeol is not one to live on his own. He needs the constant company and warmth of someone beside him-- he sincerely hopes he’ll get along with the new roommate as well as he did with Yifan. Chanyeol knows he’s supposed to arrive at the dorm today, but he doesn’t know the exact time.
Instead of doing something productive like completing his overdue assignment or reviewing his notes for musicology, he grabs his guitar and starts strumming a Radiohead tune for a start.
It’s only after he’s gone through half of Nirvana’s Nevermind that he hears someone knock on the door. It’s so faint that he almost doesn’t catch it over Come As You Are’s beginning riff.
“Yeah? Come in.”
Chanyeol is putting his guitar away on its stand and goes up to the door when he hears a loud racket from behind it. He pulls it open and finds himself facing a wobbly pile of cardboard boxes. He can only see a head of fluffy brown hair from behind the topmost box.
“Hey, let me help you with this.” Chanyeol offers, grabbing two of the boxes even before getting any consent from the stranger.
He puts them down next to the unoccupied bed with a huff and turns around to face the newcomer again.
“Hello,” the boy says hesitantly as he places his box next to the other ones. “I'm Jongin. I guess we're roommates now?”
Now that Chanyeol can have a proper look at him, he can't say he's not impressed by the guy's good looks. He's tall - well, not as tall as Chanyeol, but Chanyeol's kind of a giant so he's no reference - and slim, all long limbs and firm lines. But what strikes Chanyeol most are his new roommate's features. They're soft and boyish, adorned by a sheepish smile as he extends his hand toward Chanyeol.
“Hi. I'm Chanyeol. Nice to meet you!” He tries to regain his composure as quickly as possible, not wanting to be caught staring at the person he'll be spending substantial amounts of time with from now on. “So I heard you're a freshman?”
“Yeah. I major in dance,” Jongin says as he plops down on his bed and pats the mattress as if to test how hard it is. “You?”
“Music.”
“Wow, that's chill.” There's a (very cute) smile dancing on Jongin's lips now, and a sparkle of interest in his expressive eyes. “Do you play any instruments?”
Chanyeol grabs his guitar and shows it to Jongin. “May I introduce you to Lilah, my beloved Gibson Les Paul acoustic that my parents gave me for my eighteenth birthday.”
Jongin stares at the beautiful wooden instrument with wide eyes.
“Oh my God. This thing probably costs more than my two kidneys.”
“I'd give my liver for a Les Paul,” Chanyeol agrees, feeling a big grin creeping up his lips.
“You'd be playing from your grave, then. What a shame.”
Chanyeol laughs out loud, slapping his knee in the process and forgetting to mind that he's probably making himself look like a fool in front of his new roommate, who just chuckles lightly, the sound warm and rich like honey.
“How do you know that Les Paul's are that freaking expensive, by the way?” Chanyeol asks, once he's able to speak again.
“I minor in music.”
If Chanyeol could pause his life, he would probably pick this exact moment to mark the point in time when his life started changing irrevocably.
“I refuse to work with him!” Chanyeol shouts, hands slamming onto Junmyeon’s showy mahogany desk.
Junmyeon doesn't even flinch at Chanyeol's outburst but looks up at him, unimpressed. “It's not exactly like you have a choice.”
“You knew I'd say no so you didn't tell me Jongin was in it too.”
“If only you had bothered googling KAI's name you'd have known. It's not like I hid anything from you.”
Chanyeol throws his arms up, at a loss for what to say, anger silently boiling up in his throat.
“You can't back out now.” Junmyeon declares calmly.
“You're telling me that even as you're forcing me to work with my ex!” Chanyeol hisses through gritted teeth. “You have some nerve.”
“Professionals can work with anybody,” Junmyeon seems to be engrossed in his freshly-done manicure. “Your personal life doesn't have to get in the way.”
“Like you're one to talk!” Chanyeol's voice hitches up a notch. “You casted Kyungsoo as Jasmine as your own form of revenge.”
Junmyeon quickly forgets about his filed nails upon hearing that. He stands up from his seat and leans over his desk to face Chanyeol. He knows Junmyeon is clearly annoyed, if the haphazard twitching in his right cheek is any indication.
“If you try, even remotely, to quit or make Jongin second guess his decision, let me tell you right now that this will be the last time you will ever work in the entertainment industry,” Junmyeon puts his hand on his desk phone and stares at Chanyeol pointedly. “If I make this phone call, you're done for,” he adds with a saccharine-sweet smile. “So think it over.”
Chanyeol is excited because tonight is DVD night with Jongin and he can't wait to lounge on the couch with a couple of beers, some greasy pizza and a stupid flick worth playing only to collect Chanyeol and Jongin's colourful comments.
Chanyeol is waiting in a hall of the dance wing, where he's supposed to pick Jongin up. When the wait is too long to bear (five minutes is a long time in Chanyeol's book), he decides to go bother his new-found friend. He asks around and soon enough a short girl with a pony tail tells him Jongin is rehearsing in studio C. Chanyeol fidgets in front of the door for a moment, wondering if he should interrupt Jongin or not. Finally, his impatience wins over and he pushes the door.
What he sees next is probably Chanyeol's most vivid memory to date. It is the first time he sees Jongin dance. To say he's mesmerized would be an understatement. Jongin is all grace and elegance, his body oscillating between powerful, sharp moves and smooth, curvy arabesques. Chanyeol knows little about dance, but even he can tell with no doubt that Jongin is a wonderful dancer. The Jongin he sees right now is not the same as the one he rubs shoulders with daily. The Jongin who is dancing so perfectly in front of him right now is a new facet of Jongin that Chanyeol is eager to discover.
Jongin hadn’t noticed Chanyeol's arrival, so the latter decides to let him finish practice. He wouldn't forgive himself for troubling such a delicate piece anyway. When Jongin finally falls to his knees and bends his head in an final move, Chanyeol breaks the magic and makes his presence known by clapping slowly.
Jongin looks up and immediately discards his dancer self. The borderline shy grin that Chanyeol's gotten to know so well is back on his lips as he scratches the back of his head in an embarrassed fashion.
“That was fantastic!” Chanyeol says enthusiastically.
Jongin beams and Chanyeol's heart stutters at the sight. “Really?”
“Yeah! You're an amazing dancer, Jongin!”
“Well, thanks, hyung.”
Chanyeol laughs and marches towards Jongin to ruffle his hair. He doesn't even mind that it's slightly damp with sweat. Jongin swats his hand away, giggling. “Stop that, hyung. It's gross.”
Chanyeol shrugs and points at the baby grand piano in a corner of the practice room. “How about I play the next time?”
“Would you?” Jongin looks properly surprised.
Chanyeol nods with a smile he's sure is a bit too wide.
It becomes a regular thing, then. Chanyeol playing the piano and Jongin dancing to it.
In retrospect, Chanyeol thinks there would have been no better way to bond than over their shared passion for music.
Chanyeol has to show up at the office at least once a day if he doesn't want to be harassed by Junmyeon, so he makes a point to avoid him and Jongin like the plague, for he doesn't want to deal with any of them at the moment.
It's on the occasions when he works with his old friends Jongdae and Kyungsoo, together or separately, that he finally remembers why he likes his job. They're hard-working and understanding, not to mention incredibly talented.
“You look out of it, hyung?” Kyungsoo says when he's practising with Chanyeol once.
“I'm a bit tired,” he answers honestly. “All of this,” he makes a wide arm gesture that could cover either the studio or the whole building. “It's taken its toll on me. Especially Junmyeon's manners…”
“Tell me about it! He's been so obnoxious at home lately, trying to boss me around and what not.”
“Hey, Kyungsoo,” the shorter man looks up to him with his abnormally large eyes. “How do you manage to work alongside your boyfriend?”
“This is about Jongin, isn't it?”
Kyungsoo's stare is so powerful that Chanyeol can't even try to lie to him; he'd see through it immediately. “Yeah,” Chanyeol sighs. “I don't know how to separate private life and work. It's never happened to me before. How do you do with Junmyeon?”
“Well, it's simple. Once we cross the entrance doors, we become co-workers. It's more about the project and less about us.”
“Oh. I see.” Chanyeol says, even if he doesn’t.
“All your passion, all your energy--you have to pour it into your work and stop worrying about a relationship that ended years ago.”
“You're probably right.”
When he's at home, Chanyeol tries his best to focus on minor touch-ups on his computer. Baekkie is also a good distraction in times like this, always running across the living room and hopping about, gnawing at Chanyeol's socks when he wants to go out. His strolls draw out to the point where it's Baekkie who's dragging Chanyeol home. If he didn't know better, he would assume he's experiencing a serious case of denial.
Denial of work? Not really.
Denial of the fact that Jongin is just as sexy and handsome and perfect as he was four years ago? Very much so.
This state of mind eventually takes its toll on Chanyeol's production. He thinks about Jongin, it makes him angry, he can't sleep at night and so his music sucks.
There's a problem and Chanyeol knows it.
However, he's not sure if he's ready to face it.
Sehun. Sehun. Sehun...
Music is all about cycles and repetitions, but if there's something that Chanyeol doesn't like to hear more than once in a sentence, it's Jongin's friend's name: Sehun.
Sehun here, Sehun there, it's like Jongin's life revolves around him and Chanyeol refuses to admit that it bothers him just a bit too much for it to be bearable.
Sehun is a fairly nice guy. Chanyeol has met him several times, at his dorm, at the cafeteria, and even when he picks Jongin up after practice. Sehun is also a freshman dance major, and as a result, he's got most of his classes with Jongin, so it's only normal that they spend a lot of time together.
But it's not normal when this time becomes superior to Jongin and Chanyeol's bro time.
Yeah, because they're bros, Chanyeol thinks, having more and more trouble convincing himself that there's nothing else.
Tonight, Chanyeol is happy because it's the first DVD night in a month that hasn't been cancelled for the sake of dance practice or a study date with Sehun at the library. Jongin comes back to the dorm tired but he insists on watching Disney's Aladdin with Chanyeol.
The carpet is just about to be tamed when Chanyeol feels Jongin's head plop on his shoulder. Normally, he would have woken him up with a flick to the forehead but this time, Chanyeol spares him. Jongin is obviously exhausted by the harsh rhythm of college, precariously balancing his life between dancing, studying and spending time with friends. Now that he's asleep, Chanyeol doesn't have it in him to disturb the rare peace of mind Jongin can afford.
His features are relaxed, all tension gone, and he looks significantly younger, like he's barely out of his pre-teen years. His complexion is fresh and still a bit rosy from earlier exertion. Jongin's lips are slightly parted, a bit slick but also very inviting.
Wait what. A bro’s lips shouldn't be inviting. You don't want to kiss your bro.
Except that Chanyeol craves it.
He understands now why he feels so helpless and angry at Sehun for no apparent reason.
He understands, now that his friend is sleeping on him and that his thick lips are the centre of his world--
--that he is utterly in love with him.
In theory, Chanyeol and Jongin can work separately. It's not the best nor the most convenient way to get things done, but Chanyeol isn't ready to face his ex-lover just yet.
They manage for a few days, but as expected, on one fine morning, Chanyeol is called to Junmyeon's office. He is not surprised to find Jongin sitting in front of their boss' desk, an expression of mild surprise painted on his features.
“I guess you already know why you're here.” Junmyeon states, skipping any kind of formalities.
“I have no idea.” Chanyeol lies with as much confidence as he can muster at the moment.
“Well let me tell you, then.” Junmyeon indicates the chair next to Jongin's with a small nod. “Please have a seat.”
Chanyeol assumes it's useless to protest so he obliges, albeit reluctantly.
“What's today's date?” Junmyeon asks.
Chanyeol hates Junmyeon's little games, but if he wants to get out he has to play along. “May the 2nd.”
“Exactly. And when were we supposed to be done with music composition?”
“On May the 1st, dammit.” Chanyeol sighs exasperatedly. “Yeah, I'm late, I know. So now, please, tell me what you want exactly instead of beating around the bush because I'm getting tired of your shit.”
Jongin turns to him with wide eyes. Chanyeol from four years ago didn't rebel against hierarchy, so he's got every reason to be astonished.
“My, is that a way to address your boss?” Junmyeon, as always, remains unphased. He coughs a little in his fist and straightens in his seat. “In order to get things done, quickly, I need you both to work together.” As Jongin nods in approval, Chanyeol opens his mouth to protest. “And no need to resist, Chanyeol, you already know you won't win this game, so spare your energy and use it to write your freaking music!”
The slight loss of temper is the tell-tale clue that reveals the true depth of Junmyeon's exhaustion and the pressure he’s under. Plus, despite their current appearances, Junmyeon is Chanyeol's friend before being his boss. And what do friends do? They help each other.
“Okay. We'll do our best.” Chanyeol yields.
He can see the faintest smile on Jongin's lips and his stomach doesn't like the weirdly familiar feeling at all.
It's been two years since Jongin moved into the dorm with Chanyeol and that they've been best friends. Today's Chanyeol's graduation ceremony and he's fidgeting on his seat, shifting positions every ten seconds or so. His parents couldn't make it so it's just him and his friend. Jongin places a reassuring hand on his knee and smiles at him softly.
“Why so nervous? You graduated already, all you're here for is to receive a stupid diploma roll.”
Chanyeol's heart lifts a bit at the simple and friendly gesture and he tries forcing a smile on his face. The real reason why he's so antsy is the fact that soon, he will no longer live with Jongin, and it's just a matter of days before they go their own ways. If there's something Chanyeol doesn't want, it's to lose contact with his best friend just because college is over.
His train of thoughts is interrupted when his name is called through the hall's speakers. Jongin pats his back encouragingly and gives him a small push in the process. Chanyeol stands up, walks up the aisle and the rest is a blur.
The only thing he remembers clearly is Jongin's blinding smile when he comes back to his seat. Jongin's standing at the end of their row, with open arms. Chanyeol doesn't hesitate a second and lets himself be engulfed in Jongin's sturdy hold.
“Congratulations.” He whispers in his ear, and the sultry echoes of his voice have goosebumps crawling down Chanyeol's spine.
Jongin pulls back, looks straight into Chanyeol's eyes and the next second, his lips are firmly planted against his, in a short but passionate kiss.
“J-Jongin. I- What was...what about Sehun?”
Jongin just shrugs and chuckles lightly. “Please, hyung.”
Then he leans in for another kiss.
With everything going according to Junmyeon's plan, Chanyeol and Jongin start working together effectively. The beginnings are a bit hesitant, but Chanyeol clings to Kyungsoo's advice to remain strictly professional within the facilities.
As Chanyeol would have suspected, Jongin is very easy to work with. He's very open to suggestions, docile and attentive to any demands. Sometimes the whole dance crew, along with Jongin, fills in the practice room and in all honesty, Chanyeol realises that group emulation helps him compose a whole lot faster. Sometimes, it's just him and Jongin, and it's okay as long as they don't cross the professional terms border.
Of course, Jongin is the first one to do it after a full week of work.
“Are you ever going to ask?” It's barely a whisper, almost a rhetorical question, but the silence surrounding them leaves no space for monologues. Chanyeol is aware of the fact that Jongin has just addressed him and the slight pleading in his tone has his fingers freezing over the music sheet.
“I know everything about you, Chanyeol hyung.” He says as he crouches down, absently rubbing off a shoe stain on the practice room floor. Chanyeol puts his pencil down and stares at him silently. “I followed your career and watched every musical, every drama, every film or CF you worked on. Why didn't you ask about me? You didn't even know my stage name.”
He sighs and stands up slowly, stretching his probably sore muscles after exhausting them for such a long time. Chanyeol doesn't look up, eyes still focused on Jongin's previous position on the ground. He is at a loss for words, shy about the four years of Jongin's life he missed.
“Well, since you won't ask yourself, I'll tell you,” he takes a seat on the baby grand bench and starts talking. “I entered this ballet troupe in Chicago. At first, it was a blast. I didn't have any time to think because of practice, competitions and physical training, but I liked it. I was good the first year, but soon enough, competition took its toll on me. I wasn't used to that much pressure, so I left the troupe and entered a hip-hop institute. I was in New York, then. It was good as well, I met some very good friends there. But still, I didn't find what I was looking for. So I applied for a job in a South Korean dance crew and they liked me at first sight. We were touring all the time, and I quickly became the main choreographer. So far, it was my best experience, but I wanted to settle on a job that wouldn't need me in LA one day and Dallas the next, so I talked to Junmyeon and...here we are.”
Jongin's shoulders slump as if a heavy weight had been lifted off of them.Though perhaps it was also because of Chanyeol's lack of reaction after his soliloquy. Jongin turns to Chanyeol, sadness and something that looks dangerously like longing evident in his eyes.
“Hyung, please say something,” he nearly whines. “I just want us to be friends again.”
Chanyeol's heart clenches painfully at Jongin's desperate expression. He'd do anything to just reach out and stroke his cheek like he used to, for it to be so natural between them. But he's changed, and he supposes Jongin has as well. Things just don't go round in circles, do they?
Finally, seeing as Jongin makes no move to stand up from his spot and leave at all, Chanyeol gathers his things and gingerly presses Jongin's shoulder in a sort of 'I-acknowledge-you-took-the-first-step' gesture. “I need to think,” Chanyeol says as he lifts his hand off of Jongin, the feeling lingering on his palm like a slight burn, and makes a beeline for the door, heart hammering in his chest.
As he takes a deep breath outside the practice room, Chanyeol realizes that even after all the years, he's still not over Jongin.
Chanyeol and Jongin are taking a leisurely stroll around Seoul, carelessly walking hand in hand on the streets, unfazed by people's disgusted looks; they’d gotten used to them. They stop in front of a pet shop and Jongin coos at the puppies. He insists on going in, even though he knows Chanyeol is more of a ferret person than a dog-lover. But Chanyeol agrees as long as it can keep the wonderful smile Jongin's sporting at the moment.
Jongin plays with baby poodles, out of breath from of fits of puppy-induced laughter. “They remind me of my dogs back home. I miss them so much!”
Chanyeol leaves Jongin frolicing with the poodles to look around the shop. He's not a fan of dogs but he admits some of them do look cute when they're babies. A particular tiny puppy catches his attention. It's so small and fluffy that it looks more like a plush bear than an actual animal. The dog looks him in the eye and yelps so cute and high-pitched that Chanyeol's insides melt on the spot. He asks the shop clerk if it's okay to touch it and she nods fiercely before taking the dog from its playpen and handing it to Chanyeol. He freezes a bit when the fluffy animal writhes happily in the secure case made of Chanyeol's hands and licks his whole face like there's no tomorrow. “Looks like he loves you.” the clerk says, mirth audible in her tone.
Jongin's warm laugh tears Chanyeol out of his trance and he shows him the puppy. “Isn't he cute?” he asks, turning the dog towards his boyfriend. Immediately, it growls and yelps angrily. “I guess he doesn’t like me,” Jongin says with a mockingly sad pout.
After several more minutes spent with the dogs in the shop, they decide to leave a bit reluctantly.
“Let's get a dog when we live together,” Jongin offers as he interlaces his fingers with Chanyeol's.
Chanyeol doesn't know which one of the prospects makes him happier. Scratch that, he knows perfectly well. He thanks his luck to be able to finally come home to Jongin in the near future.
Chanyeol regrets accusing Baekkie of having eaten one of his music sheets when he finds it on his makeshift desk down in a practice room. He went back all the way to the entertainment building just to retrieve it, unable to work at home without it. Sometimes, Chanyeol curses his old ways of noting everything down on paper without bothering making digital copies.
When he leaves, everyone is already long gone. As he walks down the hall towards the main entrance, he sees light under one of the practice room doors. He ponders on leaving without turning off the light so that Junmyeon's electricity bills increase but he decides that he's not such a crappy friend and goes to the door. He stops dead when he hears faint music seeping through the wooden pane. He recognizes his own recording of one of the musical’s slower songs. This one is set at a particularly dramatic moment when Aladdin is about to die and the Genie makes a wish in his stead in order to save him. It's Jongdae's solo part, where he explores the depth of his self, and one of Chanyeol's favourites.
Pulled by a surge of courage, Chanyeol pushes the door silently to take a peek inside. He is suddenly brought back to several years ago, when he caught Jongin dancing on his own for the first time. The feeling is both foreign and familiar. Jongin is still as graceful as before, only now he's more mature in his moves and the confidence he puts in them. Chanyeol can tell it's now his profession and not just a hobby like it used to be.
Jongin's muscles flex and relax alternatively, rolling under his skin like the earth quake happening inside Chanyeol's chest. Beads of sweat run down his extended arms and stretched out neck, and the sight is far too erotic for Chanyeol not to remember the many intimate moments he shared with Jongin. There's a fine silver chain hanging from Jongin's neck and dipping underneath his low-collared wife-beater. If Chanyeol looks at him any longer, he knows he won't be able to control himself and it probably will lead him to do something with irreversible consequences. And now that he's a reasoning adult, he assumes that acting on arousal is probably the most reckless way to go.
Trying to regain normal breath and countenance, he closes the door again as discreetly as he can and rushes out of the building. Fresh air does little to relax the annoying tightness in his pants. Nor does the cold shower he hurries under when he gets back home.
That night, he thinks of sweaty limbs and parted, thick lips.
Needless to say, he doesn't get any sleep.
Their first time is both awkward and messy.
Jongin writhes under Chanyeol's larger form, giggling shyly when he caresses him down there. The chuckles become choked when he's touched more deeply, his back arching into the mattress as he experiences this kind of ecstasy for the first time.
Chanyeol fumbles with foil and latex for a bit longer than decency allows. Jongin tries to reach down to help him but it only elicits a harsh gasp and his hand swatted away. “I-I can do it myself.” Jongin laughs at him but, once again, he's cut short when something intrudes him quite uncomfortably.
Chanyeol is a bit too excited and quick at the beginning. The way Jongin's face scrunches could be seen as either pain or constipation but given the circumstances, he reckons it's the former. He tries to soothe away the ache by leaving butterfly kisses on Jongin's offered neck, slowing down his pace in the process. If Jongin's sighs of relief and maybe what sounds like pleasure are any indication, Chanyeol is doing the right thing.
They finally manage to set into a steady rhythm, meeting each other halfway in a powerful unison.
In the end, it's far from perfect, but then again it's their first time, and they know they have plenty of next times to rehearse.
“I love you, Chanyeol hyung,” Jongin whispers, in a sort of pillow confession.
“Let's move in together.” Chanyeol answers, leaving a deeper meaning hanging in the silence of the aftermath of love-making, and sealing their lips together.
Chanyeol's part of the job is done now, all of the music for the show composed, so his presence is no longer needed within the facilities. He wouldn't be very useful anyway, for his thoughts have been haunted by Jongin dancing, Jongin's body, Jongin's eyes, Jongin's everything.
Junmyeon offers him a well-deserved break, to relax at home and not come to work for a few days. When Junmyeon is significantly relieved, he tends to be more generous.
Chanyeol is grateful for the attention, but he fears that inactivity will have him thinking twice as much as he did when he worked. And thinking basically means being assaulted by sensual images of Jongin and for the sake of his sanity, Chanyeol would like it to cease, thank you very much.
So, he busies himself at home with overdue chores like laundry, some long-needed cleaning and paper sorting. He cooks his meals instead of ordering out and remembers that he used to be a good cook, once. Then again, when you cook for your significant other, food does taste a lot nicer and the effort put into it is worth it.
Chanyeol also plays more with Baekkie, who, like any dog, gives him love a hundredfold. He runs around him, goes and gets the ball, nuzzles his neck at night and cuddles and snores lightly next to him when he's watching TV, sprawled out on his otherwise too-empty loveseat.
He's precariously dozing off in front of some reality-TV crap program when he jolts awake at someone ringing the doorbell. Feeling a bit apologetic for disturbing Baekkie's sleep, he cautiously rouses from the comfort of his couch to answer the door.
His surprise is immeasurable when he finds himself face to face with the object of his constant wistful thinking.
“J-Jongin. What are you doing here? And how did you get my address?” Other unuttered questions collide in his mind, making him almost dizzy.
“Asked Junmyeon. He said he'd cope with the consequences, if there are any consequences,” Jongin answers calmly. “May I come in?”
Chanyeol nods and lets him enter. Baekkie immediately jumps from his dog place and runs to assault Jongin's ankles with his tiny teeth. “Your dog still hates me.”
Chanyeol gestures to the couch and mutes the TV. Jongin takes a seat and looks around the apartment curiously. This one is different from the one they used to share. Chanyeol couldn't resolve to keep it, full as it was with Jongin's scent and ghostly presence, and it was too big for one, anyway.
Chanyeol tries to flatten his wrinkled day-in clothes and runs a hand through his hair, suddenly overly conscious of his appearance. “Do you want something to eat?” he offers and Jongin hums in approval. Luckily, he's got leftovers of home-made food and takes them out of the fridge to heat it up. The act is so oddly familiar that a warm but bitter feeling overtakes Chanyeol's body, leaving him numb and making him feel stupid as he stands waiting in front of his microwave.
It's a bit awkward at first, but Jongin's natural ability at stepping carefully around sensible topics leaves them having a rather amiable conversation. That is, until Jongin breaks the ice with a jack-hammer thousand-dollar question.
“Are you seeing anybody?”
Chanyeol recoils a bit from the unexpected inquiry. He looks away from Jongin, who's been eating Chanyeol's penne all'arrabbiata with endearing enthusiasm. “Been dating on and off. But I'm not seeing anyone at the moment, no.”
Jongin nods. Chanyeol takes it as a cue to go on. “I haven't really dated anyone seriously, though, since--”
Baekkie barks loudly, breaking any kind of spell that could have overcome Chanyeol and pushed him into committing a probable mistake.
“Gotta feed Baekkie,” Chanyeol says as he gets up from the couch where he'd been sitting at an arm’s length distance from Jongin.
“Thanks for the food,” Jongin smiles softly. “I should go.”
Chanyeol nods. “Uh, Jongin?” The younger looks up at him expectantly. “A-About the friend thing,” Chanyeol doesn't know how to put it, stumbling on his words and cursing himself for being so disabled when in Jongin's immediate presence. “Is the offer still up?”
“Of course,” Jongin beams at him, extending his hand. “Friends again?”
Chanyeol takes the hand and shakes it carefully, committing every second of the touch to memory.
“Friends.”
“Jongin, will you marry me?” Chanyeol asks in an over-dramatic fashion, one knee on the ground.
Jongin chuckles, embarrassed, eyes darting around the park to check out passers-bys’ reactions. Luckily, the area is secluded enough so that they probably won't be bothered.
“We can't, Chanyeol hyung, it's South Korea!”
“Stop calling me hyung, call me yeobo,” Chanyeol orders as he unfolds to get to a standing position again, facing his boyfriend with a smirk.
“You're embarrassing, hyung,” Jongin hits Chanyeol's chest lightly, but there's really no ill intention behind the mostly sheepish gesture.
Chanyeol leans in and produces a small box. He opens it and reveals two silver couple rings. Taking advantage of Jongin's utter surprise, he grabs his left hand and slides the ring on. Jongin laughs but lets him.
Chanyeol's break from work proves short-lived, for Junmyeon calls him after three days and summons him in his office. He's not satisfied with Aladdin and Jasmine's love duet and demands that Chanyeol redo it on the spot.
Chanyeol isn't surprised nor offended. Deep down, he knew this piece wasn't at the same level as the others. But because it would probably become the musical’s main track, it couldn't be half-assed.
The dance is also crucial in the lover’s duet, so Chanyeol is aware of the fact that he will have to work with Jongin, and given the short notice, they will be stuck in the same room on their own for most of the time over the following days.
Chanyeol feels a mix of anticipation and dread. How much longer will he be able to control himself?
Quite unexpectedly, things go rather smoothly. Chanyeol comes up with several different melodies, and Jongin likes them all. Junmyeon even picks one up and seems satisfied with it
But there's something bothering Chanyeol, so he takes the music sheet from a very offended Junmyeon and tears it to pieces.
“I'll come up with something even better,” he bends formally in front of his shocked boss. “Please trust me on this, Jun hyung.”
“Happy anniversary!” Jongin yells happily as Chanyeol opens the door for him. It's been two years since Chanyeol's graduation and since they started dating.
Chanyeol notices Jongin's arms are covered with angry, red scratches. “What happened, baby? Did you fight with a cat?”
“With a dog,” he says as he picks up a box from the ground and hands it to Chanyeol gingerly. “Your dog, actually.”
“Oh God, Jongin.”
Chanyeol puts the box down and opens the tiny door. The Pom puppy he fell in love with at the shop the other day jumps to his face and licks him all over.
They play with the dog (well, Chanyeol plays, Jongin watches suspiciously) until the ball of fur has exhausted all of his energy and falls asleep in Chanyeol's lap where he soon snores contentedly.
“I called him Baekkie,” Jongin declares.
“Why?”
“In honour of your high-school crush, Byun Baekhyun. You always compared him to a puppy, so here you are. Your personal Baekhyun, all-you-can-cuddle.”
Chanyeol snorts, not believing his boyfriend.
“Aren't you jealous?”
It's Jongin's time to scoff at him. “Why would I be? I know you'll always love me more.”
Chanyeol's present for their anniversary is a song he composed especially for Jongin. He plays it on his guitar for the first time that night, and moves Jongin to tears.
They make love later, like never before, and in that special moment, they become one.
Chanyeol pulls an all-nighter to get to the perfect result he wanted. He's pretty content with what he is about to present, but he's still anxious about Jongin's reaction.
He went to the recording studio early this morning to record the piece on his own and edit it as he pleased. Now, he's clutching onto the CD case, almost trembling as he pushes the 'eject' button on the stereo system.
As usual, Jongin has to listen to the piece once to get a feel of it before starting to think about a good choreography for it. He normally stands in the middle of the practice room, head bent down and arms crossed against his chest, occasionally making a move or two according to the music. Chanyeol’s witnessed his work process quite a number of times now, but this time, it's different.
This time, Chanyeol is putting his heart on the table.
He presses play but his world pauses in expectancy.
Jongin's body language is like an open book for Chanyeol. As the recording plays, Chanyeol can see his shoulder tense, then his left foot jerks almost uncontrollably. Jongin takes his head in his hands and slowly raises it to gaze at Chanyeol. His eyes are slightly glossed over, and the single sight has Chanyeol's chest tightening achingly.
“Why?” Jongin asks in a whisper. “Why did you choose to use our song?”
“Are you okay with it?”
“Yeah but--”
“It's a love duet, after all...” Chanyeol leaves the implications of his words to silence and reflection.
Jongin nods ever so slightly and orders Chanyeol to press play again with a hand gesture.
And then he starts dancing. It's the first time Chanyeol sees so much sensitivity and fragility in Jongin's moves, usually so assured and controlled. It's like his entire body is quivering with emotion, but the balance with the music is so perfect that Chanyeol holds his breath for fear of breaking the harmony. With a delicate but nonetheless anguished wave of his upper body, Jongin concludes his improvised dance and engulfs a great intake of air, as if dancing to the song had bled all the energy and oxygen from his body.
Chanyeol is nothing short of mesmerised.
As soon as the song ends, he marches towards Jongin, cups his face and kisses him fiercely. There's not an ounce of resistance on Jongin's part-he opens his mouth hungrily, immediately inviting Chanyeol's tongue inside. Jongin grabs Chanyeol's hair and tugs on it, massaging and combing through it as he deepens the kiss by pulling Chanyeol's chest flush against his own. They don't even bother taking their breaths, drinking energy from each other, as if they had been starved for years. Chanyeol relocates his mouth on Jongin's offered neck and nips at it, licking and sucking on the tender flesh. He's never been so thirsty, so hungry, so needy for anything or anybody in his life.
“Ch-Chanyeol...ah--” Jongin nearly moans his name.
“Yeah?”
Jongin pulls away slightly and stares at Chanyeol. His dark, hooded eyes reflect both lust and vulnerability and Chanyeol thinks he's never looked as beautiful as he does now.
“One word from you...” he starts, panting for air. “One word from you, Chanyeol hyung, and I wouldn't have left four years ago.”
At these words, Chanyeol freezes and all desire is instantly replaced by cold anger. It's like someone has just poured a bucket of icy water on him. He detaches himself from Jongin's embrace and shoves him aside.
Not knowing what to say and fearing he might explode, Chanyeol runs out the door and slams it shut behind him.
“Hyung,” Jongin whispers, looking anywhere but at Chanyeol. “I got scouted to enter a ballet troupe.”
“Whoa! That's awesome, Jongin!” Chanyeol reaches out to hug him in congratulations but Jongin remains rigid in his hold. “Why the long face, though?”
“It's in Chicago.”
Although he tries his best to control his expression, Chanyeol knows his face falls almost imperceptibly. “You should go, Jongin. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to make your dream come true, don't let it slip away.” He swallows around the huge lump in his throat and wishes it had effectively blocked the words he's just uttered. But who is he to keep Jongin away from the fulfillment of so much work, from the dream he'd been chasing for so long?
Jongin pulls away, shoulders slumped and a heaviness in his step so unlike him. “I have to make a call, hyung.”
Two weeks later, Jongin flies to the States towards his destiny and away from a heart-broken Chanyeol.
The first stage is a total blast. The audience laughs, cries and gives a full-blown standing ovation at the end of the show. The main members of staff (including Junmyeon, Chanyeol and Jongin), the cast and the whole dance crew gather on stage to receive the applause.
Junmyeon is even offered a gigantic bunch of roses from the venue director and cries like a newborn. Chanyeol will never get used to the way his face crunches when trying to handle too many emotions at the same time.
Junmyeon throws a big after party in celebration at the penthouse atop the entertainment building. Chanyeol makes a point of avoiding Jongin at all costs - he's still fairly angry at him, and when everyone is pleasantly buzzed, he leaves unnoticed.
The show is such a success that it gets signed into multiple foreign languages. The scheduled time booked for the show is extended due to popular demand, and Chanyeol has to attend every single stage performance. Junmyeon hires two whole new sub casts for the permanent show in Busan and the Korean tour. It's a change to see him all smiles and full of good words for anyone crossing his path.
Of course, Chanyeol is conveniently extra busy, making his avoidance of Jongin easier. When they happen to run into each other, Jongin always tries to talk to him, but Chanyeol excuses himself each time, trying hard to overlook Jongin's dejected expression. And each time there's a new, fresh crack on his already broken heart.
Four months later, the musical comes to an end. No one expected it to be so successful, and it created a lot of extra work on top of the already substantial amount of it. Now that the show has come to a close, everyone is relieved. Hence another big-ass party, this one allowing any kind of debauchery, given that nobody has to sing or dance or manage stage lights the next day.
Chanyeol decides to stay longer this time. Conversation with Kyungsoo is pleasant and witty, Jongdae is at the very least as funny as the Genie and Minseok and Luhan are the people to hang out with if you want to enjoy a party. Even Junmyeon looks less constipated with his tie hanging loosely around his neck and spilling overpriced champagne on the poor souls who happen to cross his line of sight.
Chanyeol can affirmatively say he's having a great time until he spots Jongin, who, to Chanyeol's dismay, sees him as well. Jongin nearly runs to Chanyeol, grabs his wrist and drags him to a nearby, secluded balcony. Even though Chanyeol tries to resist, he realises that he won't be getting away as easily as he did before. The look in Jongin's eyes is determined - he's not going to give up, this time.
“Don't even try to get away before I say what I have to say to you,” Jongin says in one go. He takes a few steps back to give Chanyeol some sort of freedom of movement.
Chanyeol is perfectly aware that he shouldn't be thinking of Jongin's appearance given the seriousness of the moment, but he can't help ogling him. He's always done suits justice. Even when they were students and broke, and the only suits they could afford were from the corner thrift shop, they unmistakably looked designer on Jongin. Now is no exception, the dark fabric making his legs look longer and the jacket enhancing the straight, broad line of his shoulders. With his slicked-up hair glinting in the faint glow of the street lights, he looks absolutely stunning.
Chanyeol doesn't want to suffer anymore. He advances towards the penthouse’s main hall where the party is going on without them. He doesn't want to deal with something as unattainable as a long-lost love.
Jongin stops him. His firm grip on Chanyeol's forearm leaves no space to resistance.
“No,” he says with a steady voice.
With a strength Chanyeol didn't know Jongin possessed, he shoves him against the railing and keeps him at an arm’s length. With his free hand, he reaches into the collar of his shirt and pulls at the silver chain Chanyeol had noticed before. And there, in the hollow of Jongin's palm, instead of what Chanyeol thought was a pendant, rests a silver ring. It's not any ring, though. It's the second half of Chanyeol's own ring, the one he offered him what feels like ages ago.
“It's always been you,” Jongin murmurs. “All this time.”
“Then why did you leave?” The harshness Chanyeol wanted to instill in his tone echoes like a pained whine in his ears.
“Because you told me to. I thought I didn't mean enough for you to want to keep me by your side.”
Chanyeol's breath hitches, realizing how much they lost by never trying to understand each other. “It was your dream. Who was I to stop you from following your dream?”
Jongin bends his head, a sad smile straining on his lips. The hand he used to push Chanyeol relocates to his cheek and strokes it gently. Chanyeol makes no move to reject it. “I was young and foolish at that time. I understood too late that my dream didn't mean anything if I couldn't share it with you. Why do you think I came back?”
For the first time in a long while, Chanyeol feels a genuine smile tug at the corner of his lips. “You thought I would wait for you, huh?”
“You did, didn't you?”
As a reply, Chanyeol fishes his own ring from his shirt pocket. “I have it on me all the time,” he turns the shiny band between his thumb and index finger to let it catch light. “Near the heart.” He gives Jongin what he hopes is a convincing warning look. “Never leave me again.”
“I won't, hyung!” Jongin beams, on the verge of giggling like a teenage girl.
“Stop calling me hyung.”
Chanyeol grabs Jongin tie to pull him in and kiss him like there's no tomorrow.
Except, there are. Several, brighter ones.
Chanyeol is sitting against his pillows in his and Jongin's bed, in his and Jongin's bedroom, in his and Jongin's shared apartment. Even if it's the second time, it always feels just as good to know there is someone to wait for, or someone waiting for you at home, for that matter. He's reading the lyrics for Junmyeon's new project - an all-male Tangled musical. (Guess who was cast as Rapunzel!). He tries not to laugh too loud at the dumb lyrics for fear of waking Jongin up, he who's always spent most of his free time sleeping. Well, if Chanyeol is careful about his lover's slumber, Baekkie isn’t and decides to wriggle his fluffy backside from his quality spot on top of Jongin's hair.
Jongin stirs awake and shoves Baekkie away and between the two of them. “I swear to God, your dog is making my life a living Hell. I smell dog first thing in the morning.”
“At least he doesn't bite you when he sleeps,” Chanyeol answers good-naturedly.
Displeased of having been disturbed, Baekkie trudges with some difficulty on the folds of the comforter and finally reaches Jongin's wrist, which he starts nipping before licking it better.
“It's his way of showing you he loves you.”
“Then please never bite me even if--”
“I love you. Yeah.”
Chanyeol decides he's heard enough so early in the morning, so he shuts him up with a kiss.
After making sure Baekkie is out of the bedroom, he jumps on the bed and pins Jongin to the mattress. “I'll show you my way.”
FIN
Final author's note Thanks so much to the person who beta-ed my fic because they were lovely and did an awesome job <3