Home is where the heart is for chankaidoe [1/2]
For: chankaidoe
Title: Home is Where the Heart is
Pairing(s): Chanyeol/Suho, Baekhyun/D.O (just a teeny bit)
Rating: PG-13
Warning(s): extremely sappy fluff, cheese, etc.
Length: 12k
Summary: Chanyeol finds himself attracted to someone who came in to the daycare. But the guy is signing up his kid, and he's not sure that he should be falling in love with him.
Author's note: It’s my first time participating in an exchange, and I have honestly never written anything this long because I’m not that much of an author myself. It’s been quite an experience, and I’m really glad I took on this challenge. Thank you A and R for the endless support. Dear recipient, I hope this was what you were looking for or at least close enough! >< Much apologies for the extremely lame title, I really suck at titles hurr.
Chanyeol, as every other day, is up before the sun. His room hardly brightens when he pulls open the curtains, and he thinks he still sees the moon. No time to waste though, he has to be there before the parents and their children arrive. Chanyeol stretches his long arms up, getting rid of all the remnants of sleep. There’s no thinking as he grabs his towel and walks to the toilet for his morning clean-up routine.
It’s been the same for 3 years now. The house is silent, the only living person in it being Chanyeol himself. Though his friends come over occasionally, it doesn’t shirk off the feeling of loneliness that he sometimes feels in his own apartment. Chanyeol wants to wake up to something new, something different, or just something to look forward to. But every day he wakes up to the same routine - wash-up, breakfast (sometimes he skips if he doesn’t feel like it), work and back home for dinner.
If anything though, Chanyeol does enjoy his work, it was his dream, and even after achieving it, he still loves it. It’s just that there’s something missing in his life, though he can’t quite pinpoint what. His friends insist that it’s because he hasn’t been in a relationship for 3 years, but Chanyeol refuses to agree. It’s not like he’s bound to find himself in one soon anyway. The last one left his heart pretty wounded, and he’s had a hard time mending it. Only the scar remains, but Chanyeol isn’t ready to tear it open all over again. After all, with the luck he’s had, he’s pretty sure he’s run out of it.
He towel-dries his hair quickly, and puts on a white shirt with a huge Superman logo on it. The kids love this and he finds his happiness in their excitement (as a result, he has a number of t-shirts with superhero logos like, Captain America for one). While slinging his messenger bag on with one arm, he walks to the kitchen and grabs an apple to eat on the way.
He’s on time today. The sun has just risen and the birds have started chirping. He turns on all the lights and takes a deep breath. This is where his day begins. He arranges the small coloured stools at their tables neatly, and disinfects both the table and chairs with the bottled vinegar spray. When he’s done with disinfecting the toys, he looks over in the kitchen. The cooking lady will arrive at nine later, but he has to make sure it’s all ready too. He sweeps the floor just in case there might be anything that would hurt their little feet.
“Early as usual, Park.”
Chanyeol recognises that voice anywhere so he raises his hand to acknowledge his friend behind him.
“You need to stop coming in way too early, I mean, I could totally use an extra 30 minutes of sleep,” Baekhyun yawns out. Baekhyun is Chanyeol’s best friend - in every way. They practically grew up together, and at some point had feelings for each other but decided that it was better to remain friends. When Chanyeol got the money from his parents to start this little daycare, Baekhyun was the one who gave him his fullest support, and eventually is now here helping him every day too. Baekhyun is great with kids though, so Chanyeol really appreciates it even though they both don’t earn much from this.
“Well, someone’s gotta be here to clean things up before the kids arrive. I mean, if I could rely on you, I would totally take that extra 30 minutes of sleep,” he chuckles back. This only gave him a smack on his back from Baekhyun who mutters a sheesh under his breath.
“Anyway, Kyungsoo packed some food for you, knowing how you and breakfast don’t get along. There’s your favourite takoyaki and some granola bars. I had my share this morning so it’s all yours.”
“Breakfast and I do get along. We just don’t see each other often,” Chanyeol jokes while taking a seat next to Baekhyun in the small Teacher Corner (as the kids called it, because it has adult chairs and adult tables). “Thank Kyungsoo for me anyway, he sure knows how to win my heart.” Chanyeol wiggles his eyebrows as he puts the entire takoyaki ball into his mouth.
Baekhyun rolls his eyes.
Cars roll in with parents sending their kids. Most are working parents, so they’re quick to leave, and Chanyeol observes as only a handful get out of the driver’s seat to send their kids right to the gate. He only thinks of it as rolling in as a form of motivation for himself though. If he were to count, it would easily fall within the number of fingers he has. But he waits at the gates, because it warms his heart to see the little toddlers so excited to run in as they say goodbye to their parents.
He sees two kids holding hands and walking in more leisurely so he squats down to say hello, “Good morning, Changmin-ie, Sooyoung-ie,” while waving his hand. The pair of siblings nod their head quietly and smile. Chanyeol won’t lie about the two of them being his favourite (out of only 15 kids) - they are obedient, and speak when they need to, but otherwise aren’t as demanding as the other kids. Compared to the siblings though, little Sehun is demanding and noisy but he never leaves Chanyeol’s side so it’s hard for him to be angry at the little one.
It’s hard for Chanyeol to be angry at anyone really, Baekhyun can probably vouch for that. When his ex-boyfriend walked out the door after a 4 year relationship which Chanyeol put his whole heart in, all he ever did was blame himself. He was the one to blame for not paying enough attention and for not opening his eyes wide enough to sense that there was a third party involved. He was the one to blame for not being someone worthy enough to love. He probably thinks he’s convinced Baekhyun and Kyungsoo that they don’t press on the issue anymore, but there’s no denying that it’s there at the back of his mind. In fact, it’s the whole reason he believes that no such “romantic luck” will ever come by his way again.
It would be okay, he supposes, if it was a first, but it wasn’t and so he decided at the end of his last relationship that he should start getting used to being alone in the apartment if it was going to be this way for a long time. He’s done a pretty good job at it so far anyway, so he thinks.
----
“Kyungsoo suggested we get some drinks tonight, wanna go?” Baekhyun asks as they pack their things up to leave. The other two temp staff have already bid their goodbyes. Chanyeol always profusely thanks them because it gets hard even with Baekhyun sometimes, so he always receives extra help with open arms.
“Is this what I think it is?” Chanyeol tilts his head to Baekhyun with a tightlipped smile on his face. Baekhyun shakes his head. “Really, just for a drink. It’s been a while since we’ve hung out anyway, three of us.”
Chanyeol does a loud pffft. “And watch you two suck each other’s faces off? No thanks.”
“I promise this time we won’t!!” Baekhyun laughs, though the glint in his eyes speaks otherwise. Heck, Chanyeol knows better than to think it wouldn’t happen but he gives it a second thought anyway. It has definitely been a while since he broke his routine of merely going home straight after work. It wouldn’t hurt if he says okay this time.
Baekhyun claps excitedly like a little kid. Chanyeol thinks this is also why he gets along with the children so well - Baekhyun takes care of them like an adult, and yet at the same time is able to see and have fun the way they do. “Great, we’re going to bring you to a bar we’ve been going to!” Baekhyun texts on his phone (probably to Kyungsoo) as Chanyeol locks the school gates.
The bar is pretty noisy when they arrive. As expected, the two of his friends would only - of course -bring him to a gay bar. He’s been trying to tell them to give up on the idea, but he supposes that even though they’ve accepted that he’s okay, they’re still trying to “help” him, as they would call it. Chanyeol truly appreciates it but he doesn’t know how else to tell them that he’s really not looking for any more.
Baekhyun gulps a few drinks down and makes his way to the centre. He’s dancing - if that’s what Chanyeol may call it because it definitely looks dirty but nothing like dancing - and Chanyeol can’t help letting out a small laugh. His best friend’s definitely got the moves looking at how the other guys were glancing in his direction. Hardly any surprise for both Chanyeol and Kyungsoo who are sitting over at the counter.
“I mean, seriously, you don’t mind him …. grinding against the other guys like that?” Kyungsoo gulps down the contents of his glass.
“I’m not going to sit here to talk about him though, it’s about you. It’s been so long since we got you out of the house. Aside from the daycare that is, because that totally doesn’t count.”
Chanyeol concludes that Kyungsoo minds, maybe just a little, but refuses to admit it.
“What do you want me to do? Grab some guy for a one-night stand? Go up to that hot guy behind Baekhyun and say, shall we date? I don’t know, Kyungsoo. You tell me.”
Kyungsoo raises his fist and Chanyeol lifts his arms in defence in an instinctive reaction. He’s too used to this but Kyungsoo hits his head anyway. “You idiot. We’re trying to help you but you’re not helping yourself at all.”
“What makes you so sure I need someone in my life anyway? I feel perfectly fine the way I am. I just need to find ways to fill my time up, that’s all.”
In all honesty, Chanyeol isn’t desperate at all to find love in his life. It’s just that, well, it’s definitely different when he knows what it’s like to have someone to look forward to seeing or spending time with other than … the Rilakkumas on his bed. He doesn’t particularly have a hobby he enjoys doing other than interacting with children which he’s already doing on a daily basis. So yes, something, he feels, is definitely missing, but it doesn’t really mean that he needs to force some kind of relationship to happen. He’s merely content with the way things are.
One thing’s for sure though, he definitely feels a little lonely knowing Baekhyun’s and Kyungsoo’s relationship. When he and Baekhyun parted ways in high school, Chanyeol’s closest friend was Kyungsoo (partly also because he reminded Chanyeol so much of Baekhyun). So while he expected that the two of them would click so well together, he definitely didn’t expect that the friends, would turn to something more than friends, and eventually into this blossoming relationship that Chanyeol fully supports. They were his two closest friends after all. But eventually when his ex-boyfriend broke up with him, that feeling of loneliness was multiplied knowing that he can’t stay over at Baekhyun and Kyungsoo’s for too long because that would be invading privacy and because well, in general where Baekhyun is Kyungsoo would be (except of course the daycare), so it’s natural that Chanyeol felt a little lonely and jealous at his friends having something he can’t seem to have.
“Bbo-bbo!” Baekhyun requests from behind Kyungsoo - his arms wrapped around the latter’s shoulders. Baekhyun’s hair sticks to his forehead all wet from perspiration, and the grin on his lips speaks of the alcohol he’s already consumed. Chanyeol looks into his cup though from the corner of his eyes he sees Kyungsoo turn around to give his boyfriend a peck on the lips. Chanyeol is also pretty sure he saw Kyungsoo smack Baekhyun’s behind, but that thought shall be shelved away.
“You need to loosen up, Chanyeol! Wanna join me there?”
Chanyeol looks at the silver metallic watch on his wrist and shakes his head. Tomorrow is a weekday which means daycare day and right now at this moment, he’s not even sure why he accepted his friends’ invitation. Unlike Baekhyun, Chanyeol definitely has to be there - he practically runs Park’s Happy Daycare.
Baekhyun though immediately understands the worries showing in the wrinkles of his best friend’s forehead and suggests they make their way home. Outside the club, the three of them try to hail for cabs, only of course, Chanyeol is getting on a separate one. He doesn’t mind it though, really. Doesn’t mind it at all.
“Hey, Park!” He hears Baekhyun calling out before getting into the cab he managed to stop. He turns around to see the former walking towards him to give him a hug. “Always remember we’re here for you, okay?” Baekhyun whispers into his ear while patting his back. Chanyeol’s shoulders rest from the earlier shock of the sudden hug, and he wraps his arms around Baekhyun giving him a gentle squeeze. “I will.”
Later at night, as he lay on the bed in his clean change of clothing, he remembers why he’s been trying to reject their invitations most times. It doesn’t really feel good to be a third wheel, or to seem like the only guy with problems, even if his friends don’t really mean it that way.
---
It’s in the middle of March and beautiful flowers are starting to bloom, but the weather is still pretty chilly. The temperature dips much lower in the night too. Sometimes though, there are good days like today. The sun is up and the kids don’t have to wear such thick outerwear to the daycare.
“Nap time!!! The last one to sleep will be eaten by the Dinosaur!” The kids giggle and rush to their sleeping mats as Baekhyun pretends to roar and stomp around. Chanyeol feels a tugging on his shirt and looks down to see Sehun already rubbing his eyes. Chanyeol knows what he’s asking for. “Not sleeping next to your friends again?” The little one shakes his head. Chanyeol chuckles and lifts him up into his arms. Sehun snuggles into Chanyeol’s shoulder, and within seconds, Chanyeol feels the little one breathing steadily against his neck.
When all the kids, aside from Sehun in Chanyeol’s arms, were asleep on their mats, Chanyeol gently dims the light. It’s fun to play with kids and teach them things - see the wonder in their eyes when they discover something new - but the rare occasion when it’s quiet and peaceful Chanyeol treasures just as much. He sits on the chair in the Teacher Corner and readjusts Sehun whose head was slipping off his shoulder.
He’s just finally resting and closing his eyes when Baekhyun calls him, as quiet as he could possibly be, “Chanyeol-ah! There’s someone looking for you outside.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know, but he’s with a kid. I think he wants to register the boy?” Baekhyun shrugs, “but he requested for you. Want me to hold Sehun for a bit?”
“Nah it’s fine, you know how he is. I’ll go out and see to it. You can take a rest before the kids wake up.” Baekhyun nods quickly and takes Chanyeol’s seat when the latter got up.
Chanyeol walks out and sees a man, not much taller than Baekhyun is, looking at the artwork done by the kids in the daycare pinned up in the hallway. He’s wearing a black suit, and Chanyeol notices the way the suit sits nicely on his shoulders. There’s a little boy swinging the man’s arms back and forth. They probably sensed Chanyeol’s presence when he was slowly approaching, as they both turn around at the same time.
Chanyeol is greeted with the most angelic face, and it would be a lie if he said he wasn’t stunned for a moment. It is not just that the suit sits well on his shoulders, but this man is young and handsome, and Chanyeol hasn’t been particularly impressed by anyone’s visuals for quite a while. Still he manages to compose the thoughts in his head and offers a hand to shake.
“I’m Chanyeol. Baekhyun said you were looking for me?” The man returns the handshake firmly. The milky softness of his hand doesn’t escape Chanyeol’s thoughts.
“Ah you’re Chanyeol…?” Chanyeol doesn’t miss the subtle look of surprise on his face, so he smiles. He probably looks too young to be the one running a daycare. It’s not the first time he’s experienced this anyway. “Yup, that would fortunately or unfortunately - depending on how you see it - be me.”
The man laughs. A little awkward but at least it breaks the quiet air. He quickly apologises all of a sudden though, pointing at Sehun sleeping on Chanyeol’s shoulder. When Chanyeol realises what the apology was for, he waves his hand to convey that it’s okay. “He doesn’t want to sleep on his sleeping mat, only sleeps when I carry him. When he does fall asleep though, he’s like a log. You can talk as loud as you want he probably wouldn’t wake up,” Chanyeol laughs as he fondly pushes Sehun’s fringe falling over his face.
“Ah I see. Oh, sorry, I’m Joonmyun.” The handsome man - Joonmyun - rubs his neck with his right hand a little awkwardly and probably Chanyeol thinks, shy because he forgot to introduce himself earlier. Not that Chanyeol really noticed in the first place. All of… Joonmyun is really attractive and Chanyeol has to will his thoughts to behave. “I know it’s already some months into the year, but I was wondering if I could trouble you to take my son, Jongin, in for the day-care? He makes friends easily so it shouldn’t be too hard on him. My job’s schedule has been tight lately and … yeah,” he smiles sheepishly, as if having let go too much information that he shouldn’t have with a stranger.
“Oh, don’t worry! We’re okay with one more!” Chanyeol squats down to Jongin’s eye-level, who quickly hides behind Joonmyun’s legs. In contrast to Joonmyun’s snow fair skin, Jongin’s a little more tan than his father.
“I’m sorry, he’s usually really friendly. Jongin-ah, come on now, say hello to Teacher Chanyeol?”
“It’s okay, I’m very used to kids behaving this way. It’s only natural they stay close with the people they think would protect them,” Chanyeol beams up at Joonmyun. His eyes then find Jongin again, “Hello Jongin, I’m Chanyeol, you can call me Teacher Chanyeol or just Teacher Yeol.” Chanyeol waves and puts on his best smile. Squatting down while holding Sehun with an arm is really quite a challenge though but he tries his best to keep that out of his expression.
Jongin who was peeking from behind Joonmyun’s dress pants early slowly slides his right foot out and bends half his body to see his new teacher. Chanyeol waves again. Then all of a sudden Jongin holds up four fingers towards Chanyeol. The latter is a little puzzled, but then he hears a laugh from above him. This time Joonmyun squats down too.
“I taught him how to introduce himself, but he leaves everything out and only shows his age,” he explains while ruffling Jongin’s hair.
“Ah, so Jongin is four years old?” Chanyeol asks the boy while holding out 4 fingers as well. He nods enthusiastically. Chanyeol returns his enthusiasm with a wide smile and while he observes Jongin’s interactions with Joonmyun, his heart swells with some kind of emotion he doesn’t really understand. Especially not with strangers he just met.
“I’ll leave him in your hands then?” Joonmyun more of states, than asks, while handing the hand holding Jongin’s over to Chanyeol. Deep inside Chanyeol is really hoping the boy doesn’t cry and thankfully he doesn’t. On the contrary, Jongin takes Chanyeol’s free hand really easily and lets go of his father’s, as if mature enough to understand that he has to stay here while his father works. “I’ll come by and fetch you after school, alright?” Joonmyun bends down to kiss Jongin’s cheeks. The boy nods. “7 is a good time?”
“Yup, 7 is good. Most of the activities are done by 6, and kids wait for their parents from 6 to 7. So 7 is okay - we’ll keep Jongin entertained till then,” Chanyeol humors. Joonmyun smiles too and thanks him profusely, clearly trying to convey how great of a help the day care is for him right now. Chanyeol nods and returns the thanks. He excuses himself for abit and comes back with a form for Joonmyun to fill in: details about himself, Jongin and things like Jongin's allergies and such. When Joonmyun is done, Chanyeol and Jongin both then stood at the entrance of the hallway watching as Joonmyun gets into the silver Mercedes, winds down the window and waves at Jongin before driving off. When all that’s left is the empty driveway, Chanyeol tightens his grip on Jongin’s little hand.
“Come on, now, I think it's time to wake your new friends.”
---
“There’s something I can’t read in your eyes but it’s been there the whole time since you brought Jongin in. Something you wanna tell me?”
Chanyeol is a little stunned as he locks the gates to the daycare. He already knows that between the two of them, Baekhyun was always the sharper one. Chanyeol may be the one who aces all the examinations, but Baekhyun is street-smart and very quick-witted. Still the question is unexpected.
“Hmm? What are you talking about?” Chanyeol feigns ignorance as he double checks the padlock, and tiptoes to look into the day care for just one last look.
All the kids have been fetched by their parents, and the sun is only just setting. He’s thankful that it’s not too dark yet though; it’s Chanyeol’s favourite time of the day. It’s still bright but not too bright, and Chanyeol finds some kind of comfort in it. Day means routine and work and night means emptiness. The in-between makes him feel a little like himself, and a lot more content.
“I’ve been your best friend for more than 20 years, Chanyeol. You know you can’t lie.” Chanyeol can almost hear Baekhyun rolling his eyes. “It’s definitely not anything to do with Jongin though. It’s Jongin’s dad isn’t it? The guy who called for you?”
Chanyeol stays silent at this taking long strides on the pavement while swinging the keys on his index finger.
“I knew it!!!” Chanyeol knows Baekhyun has to walk twice as fast when he takes these long strides so he revels in the knowledge of that fact considering the questions Baekhyun is asking that he refuses to answer. “He was pretty good looking, I must say. Oh, I should tell Kyungsoo! Our Chanyeol-ie is finally learning to love again!” Baekhyun does a little twirl on the pavement with his hands stretched outwards. Chanyeol is very close to running and not acknowledging Baekhyun with the strange stares that the passers-by are giving. Contrary to his thoughts though, Chanyeol stops in his tracks and turns around.
“Please don’t tell Kyungsoo? Ok, I admit, Joonmyun was cute,” at this Baekhyun goes, “Oohh, Joonmyun~” but Chanyeol ignores it completely, “but he has a kid Baekhyun! It’s wrong, and I don’t want to harbour feelings for a man I hardly know.”
“So what if he has a kid though?”
“It’s not just the kid, but I’m almost a hundred percent sure he was wearing a ring on his marriage finger,” Chanyeol recalls the soft hand that held on to Jongin’s, the soft hand that shook his. He rubs his palms together subconsciously. "That also means he has a wife and I don't want to ruin somebody else's happiness."
"You can't just assume he has a wife he could be -"
"Baekhyun... you know that's not the point. Joonmyun's... He's off-limits okay? God, I shouldn't even be talking about this." Chanyeol runs his fingers through his dark brown hair. He feels Baekhyun wraps an arm around Chanyeol's shoulder.
"Let's have movie night, shall we? Just you and me? Kyungsoo is working overtime tonight anyway," Baekhyun offers softly. Chanyeol knows that this is his best friend's way of consoling him, and while Chanyeol is more often than not up for movie night with just his best friend, he's not in the mood right now and he definitely doesn't need any consoling. It's not like he had anything with Joonmyun in the first place.
So Chanyeol replies, "Not tonight," and when he sees the furrowing of Baekhyun's eyebrow in worry he tells his best friend that he's fine and just wants to be alone for the night. Baekhyun looks at him in the eye for all of 10 seconds in silence, until he finally says okay and they part ways at the crossroads to make their way home.
When Chanyeol's done with his cup of ramyun and a nice warm shower, he lays on his bed thinking of Baekhyun's words. While his mind tells him that he only has Joonmyun on his mind because of Baekhyun, his heart tells him otherwise. Everything about Joonmyun is so vivid in his mind - his angelic smile, the gentleness in his speech, his all too-polite gestures.... While they were all superficial, Chanyeol is very much attracted.
Then his mind wonders to Jongin and how quickly he made friends in the daycare. Sehun had taken quite a liking to him too, and it warmed his heart then to see Sehun opening up to a friend. In fact, just earlier today Sehun asked if he could sleep on the mat, but only next to Jongin. Thinking of Jongin, he quickly remembers too, the ring on Joonmyun's hand and wonders what in the world he has gotten himself into for the nth time in his life.
I'm so weak, he thinks, and tries to slow his rapidly beating heart, falling asleep to the memory of Joonmyun's smile on his mind.
---
Fate must have decided that it would be fun to play a terrible joke on him, however.
It's been a week since Jongin joined the daycare and this is the first time such a thing has happened. The sun has bid its goodbye and the sky is now dark. It's 7:30, and Chanyeol is sitting on the floor of the hallway entrance, watching over Jongin who is running around by himself in the empty driveway. Baekhyun had asked him if he would be alright by himself. Chanyeol said he would be, and he is, so Baekhyun already left earlier. Chanyeol and Jongin are the only two people left, both waiting for Joonmyun.
He did already text Joonmyun earlier, with the number given on the registration sheet.
Hi Mr Kim, this is Chanyeol from Park's Happy Daycare. Will you be coming to fetch Jongin soon? ^^
Yes, I'm so sorry! Work ended late, I'm on my way
That was 25 minutes ago. 25 minutes later the two of them are still here waiting for a silver Mercedes to drive in. As if thought too soon, Chanyeol finally hears the sound of the car turning in to the small driveway. He quickly grabs Jongin and holds onto him incase the little one runs in the car’s direction. When it comes to a complete stop, Jongin wriggles out of Chanyeol’s hold and runs to his dad.
“Jongin-ah!! Appa is so sorry he’s late today,” Joonmyun apologises while smothering Jongin’s cheeks in kisses the little boy is all too happy to receive. Jongin wraps his arms tightly around Joonmyun’s neck, as if his dad would disappear if he lets go. Joonmyun rubs a hand down his back and kisses Jongin again. Meanwhile, Chanyeol watches from a few steps away, and when he’s sure that Jongin’s safe and the two of them are going to leave, he turns around, ready to grab his bag and leave for home.
“Chanyeol-ssi!” Chanyeol’s heart does a little trip as he hears his name being called out in the gentle voice that’s been etched in his mind. Chanyeol only turns around though when he feels a tap on his shoulder. Joonmyun had walked to him, and Chanyeol isn’t sure how to stomach this closeness between the two of them. Back when Joonmyun was registering Jongin, Chanyeol kept a polite distance, also because carrying Sehun was not allowing him to get much closer. But this, when he turns around, Joonmyun is right in front of him, and Chanyeol thinks he can smell the cologne on the other. Standing like this, Chanyeol can see the difference in their heights, can see how perfectly Joonmyun would fit in his -
“..Chanyeol?” The same voice that led him into a daydream state snaps him out of it and Chanyeol thanks the night sky for hiding the flush in his cheeks.
“Sorry I was distracted for a bit.. Were you saying something?” Mentally, he chides himself for making such a terrible impression. Joonmyun must think he’s weird now.
“Ah, I was just umm asking you if you wanted some coffee..? My treat… Since you had to stay with Jongin over closing time and all…” Chanyeol thinks Joonmyun is so adorable, the way he’s all shy and not making any eye contact with Chanyeol at all. In fact he’s looking everywhere but at Chanyeol. “But it’s f-fine… If you’re uhhh busy and you don’t want to..”
Chanyeol laughs, for how could he reject? “I’d love to,” he replies and again for the nth time in his life wonders why his heart is so weak, why he makes himself vulnerable to heartache, and why he can’t just say no to Joonmyun.
Joonmyun drives the 3 of them to Coffee Corner, a quaint little cafe not too far from where the daycare is. The walls are coloured a calming cream, and while the tables are all made of wood, the chairs are slightly quirky - some of plastic, some of wood and some of metal. It’s cosy and Chanyeol makes a mental note to make his way here more often. The interior is not huge, hence able to cater to only a handful customers at one time. Thankfully, there’s a four-seater table that’s empty, just nice for them to occupy.
“Anything in particular you want to drink?” Joonmyun asks. Jongin is unsuccessfully trying to get on the seat that’s a little too high for him, so Joonmyun lifts him up and makes sure the little one is properly seated.
“I’m fine with anything.. I just.. don’t particularly like coffee…?” Joonmyun nods, “Milk-based for you then. I can’t live without my coffee. I’ll just get you the same drink as mine?” Chanyeol nods.
He watches as Joonmyun makes his way over to the counter and orders the drinks. Even his back view is beautiful, Chanyeol thinks. Chanyeol’s distraction however is broken by Jongin’s laughter, and he turns to find Jongin giggling to himself as he plays with the flower in the vase on the table. Chanyeol would love to be a kid again, where pulling flowers down and watching it lift up again was one of the most amusing things, and he wouldn’t have to worry about inappropriate feelings like what he has for Joonmyun.
“Here we go,” Joonmyun arrives with the tray, and hands Jongin first a small cup with water.
“Appa! I want that,” Jongin sulks while pointing to the bigger plastic cups filled with what looks like a caramelised drink and whipped cream.
“None for you Jongin or you’re gonna cough and fall sick like the last time I gave you something cold. This one is for adults like me and Teacher Chanyeol. I’ll make you hot choco when we get back okay?” Joonmyun brushes Jongin’s hair with his fingers and kisses the latter’s forhead. Chanyeol smiles watching their interaction, and with Jongin being easy to please, he was quick to nod and smile and hold the plastic cup of water in his little hands.
“I got a caramel frappe, I hope that’s okay for you? Yours is milk-based like you asked,” Joonmyun hands over one of the cups to Chanyeol. Chanyeol receives it while thanking him, and tears open the straw packet to drink.
It’s much too sweet - without the coffee there’s only caramel and milk. Joonmyun must’ve noticed the slight change in Chanyeol’s expression as he quickly apologises. “I’m sorry, is it not to your taste? Ah I should’ve known, I should’ve let you seen the whole menu -”
Chanyeol thinks it’s adorable how flustered Joonmyun is, the way he licks his lips in embarrassment and scratches at his neck. His hands move like he’s not sure if he should grab the cup and change the drink or leave it. Chanyeol almost feels bad for even showing it on his face, so he cuts Joonmyun’s rambling.
“No no, it’s fine! It’s just that I didn’t expect it to be this sweet.” Chanyeol takes another sip of his drink to prove his point. It’s not bad really after the first few sips. The sweetness just takes a bit of getting used to.
“So you don’t like sweet things?” Joonmyun asks while fiddling with the straw in his drink. His right hand is on Jongin’s lap, which looks to be some form of protective measure in case Jongin falls over. This way, Chanyeol can’t help but notice the shiny ring on his left hand, right on the marriage finger. There’s a somewhat unexplainable ache in his chest, but he swallows it down to answer the question directed to him.
“Oh sweet things are fine, just not too sweet..? Anyway this is not too bad after a while. Thank you, by the way, for the drink. You really didn’t have to. You’re not the first parent who was late in picking up their child. I mean there are worse - there were those who forgot and wouldn’t have fetched their kids if I didn’t call them at all,” Chanyeol shakes his head in reminiscence.
“You’re welcome. I’m glad I’m not the worst though, I feel bad enough as it already is.”
There’s that smile again, the one that makes Chanyeol want to hold Joonmyun and protect him from everything that might ever hurt him. The smile that makes Chanyeol want to forget what’s right and what’s wrong and just follow his heart. The smile that is going to make Chanyeol’s heart a mess, and a very broken one knowing that he can’t see it as and when he wants.
Silence follows their earlier conversation, and it’s a little awkward like Chanyeol could almost feel the air just hanging there around them waiting for someone to make it move. There’s only the sound of the straws moving in the cups as the two of them awkwardly shift the straws around. Occasionally Jongin would call “Appa!” and Joonmyun entertains him for a bit. After that the silence begins again.
Chanyeol is not a fan of prolonged silence; he’s been around Baekhyun since he was born and the two of them were too noisy when put together, still are. So as much as Chanyeol hates the question he’s about to ask, he thinks it might: first, at least break the awkward air and second, help him get over this strange rapid beating of his heart everytime he thinks of or sees Joonmyun.
“So… how long have you been married?”
Instead of getting the response he expected, Chanyeol is greeted with Joonmyun’s surprised look, his eyes slightly widened and eyebrows furrowed. It kind of makes Chanyeol backtrack a little, thinking if he said something weird. But he doesn’t remember saying anything strange so he uses his facial expression to point to the ring on Joonmyun’s hand now around the cup. Joonmyun’s eyes follow his gaze.
“Ah…” Joonmyun releases his grip of the cup, clenches his fist and brings it onto his lap, hidden under the table where Chanyeol can’t see it anymore.
“Oh, I’m sorry, was that too personal? Right, I suppose you don’t share random information with strangers, that’s what we tell the kids haha and look what I’m doing now, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” Chanyeol quickly apologises after observing Joonmyun’s reaction.
“No, it’s fine, really.” Even with Joonmyun’s reply, Chanyeol doesn’t miss the way Joonmyun is now looking at the table and the hand that was on Jongin is now fiddling with his left hand under the table. Chanyeol can’t see it but he can tell from where he is.
“She must be a pretty lucky lady, Jongin’s umma. To have been able to win your heart,” Chanyeol’s does a double take at his own words, and hopes he hasn’t let out too much by saying that. It’s normal to say such things right? You’re lucky to have someone, someone’s lucky to have you… it’s not weird… right? While Chanyeol has all these thoughts in his head, Jongin stands on his chair.
“Umma…? Appa? Umma?” Jongin has his arms out and his head tilted to the side. Chanyeol laughs at Jongin’s cute actions.
Joonmyun on the other hand shushes Jongin quickly and lifts the boy up to make him sit properly on the wooden chair.
Thankfully though, the rest of the night wasn’t too bad, with Joonmyun now willing to ask more questions and speak more. Chanyeol finds out that Joonmyun’s an executive officer in some government building Chanyeol can hardly remember, and since one of his colleagues is on long-term leave, he’s had to shoulder a heavier workload resulting in the longer working hours. That’s why he was late to fetch Jongin today. Chanyeol also learns that Joonmyun (as Chanyeol expected) has a soft heart, and goes to the animal shelter every weekend to volunteer. He couldn’t for a while because Jongin was too young but now that Jongin’s old enough, he brings the little one to the shelter too and Jongin helps around with the little tasks like feeding the animals.
Listening to Joonmyun talk about Jongin makes the corners of Chanyeol’s lips perk up by themselves - the love that Joonmyun has for Jongin is as clear as day, and Chanyeol can see it in Joonmyun’s eyes, the proud parent he is of Jongin. And just like that, Chanyeol finds himself falling even more into the dark abyss of Joonmyun.
When they were done with their drinks, Joonmyun too kindly offers to send Chanyeol home, and in a few minutes Chanyeol finds himself at the entrance of his apartment building. He thanks Joonmyun again with a slight bow of his head and waves to Jongin who excitedly waves back behind the closed window.
On the way up, his phone gives a short buzz, telling of a message received.
I had a great time today, thank you Chanyeol ^^
Chanyeol smiles while looking at the emoticon Joonmyun wrote in at the end of the message. It really reminds him of Joonmyun, the way his eyes shape when he breaks into a smile.
Haha no, thank you Joonmyun-ssi. For the drink too! :)
Just Joonmyun will do~
Chanyeol’s about to type something a little cheeky in reply as a joke, but another buzz signals another message coming in.
Maybe we should do this again some time? ^^
His heart probably skipped a beat, or several beats rather. Ignoring the beatings of his heart, he focuses on the message. Joonmyun probably enjoyed his company as much as he enjoyed Joonmyun’s. After all, Joonmyun is married and Chanyeol’s the only one harboring a one-sided attraction (he refuses to call this love, much less like, just yet) for him. Before he knows it, his fingers are typing away his response, following the desires of his heart.
Sure, I’d love to :)
Then he sends another one remembering that Joonmyun would still be on the way home.
Now don’t reply to this! Drive safe, see you and Jongin tomorrow!!! :D
Unlocking the apartment door and quickly plopping himself onto the couch, he looks up at the ceiling and thinks about today. It’s been long since he last sat down and talked to anyone about himself, freely and without reservations. Joonmyun made him want to tell everything, even to the skeletons in his closet if he had any. In the same way, he loves listening to Joonmyun speak, loves knowing more about Joonmyun every minute becoming more perfect than the Joonmyun he knew a minute ago. It fills up a little of the void he’s been feeling somewhere inside, and with his arm across his forehead, he closes his eyes, finding himself smiling and looking forward to the next milk-based caramel drink he would drink.
His mind screams out loud at how terrible an idea it is, how he might end up wrecking someone’s home, cause trauma to a child, scratch open the wound he’s only just finished stitching up.
But his heart swells at the thought of Joonmyun and he thinks, one more time wouldn’t hurt.
►
Title: Home is Where the Heart is
Pairing(s): Chanyeol/Suho, Baekhyun/D.O (just a teeny bit)
Rating: PG-13
Warning(s): extremely sappy fluff, cheese, etc.
Length: 12k
Summary: Chanyeol finds himself attracted to someone who came in to the daycare. But the guy is signing up his kid, and he's not sure that he should be falling in love with him.
Author's note: It’s my first time participating in an exchange, and I have honestly never written anything this long because I’m not that much of an author myself. It’s been quite an experience, and I’m really glad I took on this challenge. Thank you A and R for the endless support. Dear recipient, I hope this was what you were looking for or at least close enough! >< Much apologies for the extremely lame title, I really suck at titles hurr.
Chanyeol, as every other day, is up before the sun. His room hardly brightens when he pulls open the curtains, and he thinks he still sees the moon. No time to waste though, he has to be there before the parents and their children arrive. Chanyeol stretches his long arms up, getting rid of all the remnants of sleep. There’s no thinking as he grabs his towel and walks to the toilet for his morning clean-up routine.
It’s been the same for 3 years now. The house is silent, the only living person in it being Chanyeol himself. Though his friends come over occasionally, it doesn’t shirk off the feeling of loneliness that he sometimes feels in his own apartment. Chanyeol wants to wake up to something new, something different, or just something to look forward to. But every day he wakes up to the same routine - wash-up, breakfast (sometimes he skips if he doesn’t feel like it), work and back home for dinner.
If anything though, Chanyeol does enjoy his work, it was his dream, and even after achieving it, he still loves it. It’s just that there’s something missing in his life, though he can’t quite pinpoint what. His friends insist that it’s because he hasn’t been in a relationship for 3 years, but Chanyeol refuses to agree. It’s not like he’s bound to find himself in one soon anyway. The last one left his heart pretty wounded, and he’s had a hard time mending it. Only the scar remains, but Chanyeol isn’t ready to tear it open all over again. After all, with the luck he’s had, he’s pretty sure he’s run out of it.
He towel-dries his hair quickly, and puts on a white shirt with a huge Superman logo on it. The kids love this and he finds his happiness in their excitement (as a result, he has a number of t-shirts with superhero logos like, Captain America for one). While slinging his messenger bag on with one arm, he walks to the kitchen and grabs an apple to eat on the way.
He’s on time today. The sun has just risen and the birds have started chirping. He turns on all the lights and takes a deep breath. This is where his day begins. He arranges the small coloured stools at their tables neatly, and disinfects both the table and chairs with the bottled vinegar spray. When he’s done with disinfecting the toys, he looks over in the kitchen. The cooking lady will arrive at nine later, but he has to make sure it’s all ready too. He sweeps the floor just in case there might be anything that would hurt their little feet.
“Early as usual, Park.”
Chanyeol recognises that voice anywhere so he raises his hand to acknowledge his friend behind him.
“You need to stop coming in way too early, I mean, I could totally use an extra 30 minutes of sleep,” Baekhyun yawns out. Baekhyun is Chanyeol’s best friend - in every way. They practically grew up together, and at some point had feelings for each other but decided that it was better to remain friends. When Chanyeol got the money from his parents to start this little daycare, Baekhyun was the one who gave him his fullest support, and eventually is now here helping him every day too. Baekhyun is great with kids though, so Chanyeol really appreciates it even though they both don’t earn much from this.
“Well, someone’s gotta be here to clean things up before the kids arrive. I mean, if I could rely on you, I would totally take that extra 30 minutes of sleep,” he chuckles back. This only gave him a smack on his back from Baekhyun who mutters a sheesh under his breath.
“Anyway, Kyungsoo packed some food for you, knowing how you and breakfast don’t get along. There’s your favourite takoyaki and some granola bars. I had my share this morning so it’s all yours.”
“Breakfast and I do get along. We just don’t see each other often,” Chanyeol jokes while taking a seat next to Baekhyun in the small Teacher Corner (as the kids called it, because it has adult chairs and adult tables). “Thank Kyungsoo for me anyway, he sure knows how to win my heart.” Chanyeol wiggles his eyebrows as he puts the entire takoyaki ball into his mouth.
Baekhyun rolls his eyes.
Cars roll in with parents sending their kids. Most are working parents, so they’re quick to leave, and Chanyeol observes as only a handful get out of the driver’s seat to send their kids right to the gate. He only thinks of it as rolling in as a form of motivation for himself though. If he were to count, it would easily fall within the number of fingers he has. But he waits at the gates, because it warms his heart to see the little toddlers so excited to run in as they say goodbye to their parents.
He sees two kids holding hands and walking in more leisurely so he squats down to say hello, “Good morning, Changmin-ie, Sooyoung-ie,” while waving his hand. The pair of siblings nod their head quietly and smile. Chanyeol won’t lie about the two of them being his favourite (out of only 15 kids) - they are obedient, and speak when they need to, but otherwise aren’t as demanding as the other kids. Compared to the siblings though, little Sehun is demanding and noisy but he never leaves Chanyeol’s side so it’s hard for him to be angry at the little one.
It’s hard for Chanyeol to be angry at anyone really, Baekhyun can probably vouch for that. When his ex-boyfriend walked out the door after a 4 year relationship which Chanyeol put his whole heart in, all he ever did was blame himself. He was the one to blame for not paying enough attention and for not opening his eyes wide enough to sense that there was a third party involved. He was the one to blame for not being someone worthy enough to love. He probably thinks he’s convinced Baekhyun and Kyungsoo that they don’t press on the issue anymore, but there’s no denying that it’s there at the back of his mind. In fact, it’s the whole reason he believes that no such “romantic luck” will ever come by his way again.
It would be okay, he supposes, if it was a first, but it wasn’t and so he decided at the end of his last relationship that he should start getting used to being alone in the apartment if it was going to be this way for a long time. He’s done a pretty good job at it so far anyway, so he thinks.
----
“Kyungsoo suggested we get some drinks tonight, wanna go?” Baekhyun asks as they pack their things up to leave. The other two temp staff have already bid their goodbyes. Chanyeol always profusely thanks them because it gets hard even with Baekhyun sometimes, so he always receives extra help with open arms.
“Is this what I think it is?” Chanyeol tilts his head to Baekhyun with a tightlipped smile on his face. Baekhyun shakes his head. “Really, just for a drink. It’s been a while since we’ve hung out anyway, three of us.”
Chanyeol does a loud pffft. “And watch you two suck each other’s faces off? No thanks.”
“I promise this time we won’t!!” Baekhyun laughs, though the glint in his eyes speaks otherwise. Heck, Chanyeol knows better than to think it wouldn’t happen but he gives it a second thought anyway. It has definitely been a while since he broke his routine of merely going home straight after work. It wouldn’t hurt if he says okay this time.
Baekhyun claps excitedly like a little kid. Chanyeol thinks this is also why he gets along with the children so well - Baekhyun takes care of them like an adult, and yet at the same time is able to see and have fun the way they do. “Great, we’re going to bring you to a bar we’ve been going to!” Baekhyun texts on his phone (probably to Kyungsoo) as Chanyeol locks the school gates.
The bar is pretty noisy when they arrive. As expected, the two of his friends would only - of course -bring him to a gay bar. He’s been trying to tell them to give up on the idea, but he supposes that even though they’ve accepted that he’s okay, they’re still trying to “help” him, as they would call it. Chanyeol truly appreciates it but he doesn’t know how else to tell them that he’s really not looking for any more.
Baekhyun gulps a few drinks down and makes his way to the centre. He’s dancing - if that’s what Chanyeol may call it because it definitely looks dirty but nothing like dancing - and Chanyeol can’t help letting out a small laugh. His best friend’s definitely got the moves looking at how the other guys were glancing in his direction. Hardly any surprise for both Chanyeol and Kyungsoo who are sitting over at the counter.
“I mean, seriously, you don’t mind him …. grinding against the other guys like that?” Kyungsoo gulps down the contents of his glass.
“I’m not going to sit here to talk about him though, it’s about you. It’s been so long since we got you out of the house. Aside from the daycare that is, because that totally doesn’t count.”
Chanyeol concludes that Kyungsoo minds, maybe just a little, but refuses to admit it.
“What do you want me to do? Grab some guy for a one-night stand? Go up to that hot guy behind Baekhyun and say, shall we date? I don’t know, Kyungsoo. You tell me.”
Kyungsoo raises his fist and Chanyeol lifts his arms in defence in an instinctive reaction. He’s too used to this but Kyungsoo hits his head anyway. “You idiot. We’re trying to help you but you’re not helping yourself at all.”
“What makes you so sure I need someone in my life anyway? I feel perfectly fine the way I am. I just need to find ways to fill my time up, that’s all.”
In all honesty, Chanyeol isn’t desperate at all to find love in his life. It’s just that, well, it’s definitely different when he knows what it’s like to have someone to look forward to seeing or spending time with other than … the Rilakkumas on his bed. He doesn’t particularly have a hobby he enjoys doing other than interacting with children which he’s already doing on a daily basis. So yes, something, he feels, is definitely missing, but it doesn’t really mean that he needs to force some kind of relationship to happen. He’s merely content with the way things are.
One thing’s for sure though, he definitely feels a little lonely knowing Baekhyun’s and Kyungsoo’s relationship. When he and Baekhyun parted ways in high school, Chanyeol’s closest friend was Kyungsoo (partly also because he reminded Chanyeol so much of Baekhyun). So while he expected that the two of them would click so well together, he definitely didn’t expect that the friends, would turn to something more than friends, and eventually into this blossoming relationship that Chanyeol fully supports. They were his two closest friends after all. But eventually when his ex-boyfriend broke up with him, that feeling of loneliness was multiplied knowing that he can’t stay over at Baekhyun and Kyungsoo’s for too long because that would be invading privacy and because well, in general where Baekhyun is Kyungsoo would be (except of course the daycare), so it’s natural that Chanyeol felt a little lonely and jealous at his friends having something he can’t seem to have.
“Bbo-bbo!” Baekhyun requests from behind Kyungsoo - his arms wrapped around the latter’s shoulders. Baekhyun’s hair sticks to his forehead all wet from perspiration, and the grin on his lips speaks of the alcohol he’s already consumed. Chanyeol looks into his cup though from the corner of his eyes he sees Kyungsoo turn around to give his boyfriend a peck on the lips. Chanyeol is also pretty sure he saw Kyungsoo smack Baekhyun’s behind, but that thought shall be shelved away.
“You need to loosen up, Chanyeol! Wanna join me there?”
Chanyeol looks at the silver metallic watch on his wrist and shakes his head. Tomorrow is a weekday which means daycare day and right now at this moment, he’s not even sure why he accepted his friends’ invitation. Unlike Baekhyun, Chanyeol definitely has to be there - he practically runs Park’s Happy Daycare.
Baekhyun though immediately understands the worries showing in the wrinkles of his best friend’s forehead and suggests they make their way home. Outside the club, the three of them try to hail for cabs, only of course, Chanyeol is getting on a separate one. He doesn’t mind it though, really. Doesn’t mind it at all.
“Hey, Park!” He hears Baekhyun calling out before getting into the cab he managed to stop. He turns around to see the former walking towards him to give him a hug. “Always remember we’re here for you, okay?” Baekhyun whispers into his ear while patting his back. Chanyeol’s shoulders rest from the earlier shock of the sudden hug, and he wraps his arms around Baekhyun giving him a gentle squeeze. “I will.”
Later at night, as he lay on the bed in his clean change of clothing, he remembers why he’s been trying to reject their invitations most times. It doesn’t really feel good to be a third wheel, or to seem like the only guy with problems, even if his friends don’t really mean it that way.
---
It’s in the middle of March and beautiful flowers are starting to bloom, but the weather is still pretty chilly. The temperature dips much lower in the night too. Sometimes though, there are good days like today. The sun is up and the kids don’t have to wear such thick outerwear to the daycare.
“Nap time!!! The last one to sleep will be eaten by the Dinosaur!” The kids giggle and rush to their sleeping mats as Baekhyun pretends to roar and stomp around. Chanyeol feels a tugging on his shirt and looks down to see Sehun already rubbing his eyes. Chanyeol knows what he’s asking for. “Not sleeping next to your friends again?” The little one shakes his head. Chanyeol chuckles and lifts him up into his arms. Sehun snuggles into Chanyeol’s shoulder, and within seconds, Chanyeol feels the little one breathing steadily against his neck.
When all the kids, aside from Sehun in Chanyeol’s arms, were asleep on their mats, Chanyeol gently dims the light. It’s fun to play with kids and teach them things - see the wonder in their eyes when they discover something new - but the rare occasion when it’s quiet and peaceful Chanyeol treasures just as much. He sits on the chair in the Teacher Corner and readjusts Sehun whose head was slipping off his shoulder.
He’s just finally resting and closing his eyes when Baekhyun calls him, as quiet as he could possibly be, “Chanyeol-ah! There’s someone looking for you outside.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know, but he’s with a kid. I think he wants to register the boy?” Baekhyun shrugs, “but he requested for you. Want me to hold Sehun for a bit?”
“Nah it’s fine, you know how he is. I’ll go out and see to it. You can take a rest before the kids wake up.” Baekhyun nods quickly and takes Chanyeol’s seat when the latter got up.
Chanyeol walks out and sees a man, not much taller than Baekhyun is, looking at the artwork done by the kids in the daycare pinned up in the hallway. He’s wearing a black suit, and Chanyeol notices the way the suit sits nicely on his shoulders. There’s a little boy swinging the man’s arms back and forth. They probably sensed Chanyeol’s presence when he was slowly approaching, as they both turn around at the same time.
Chanyeol is greeted with the most angelic face, and it would be a lie if he said he wasn’t stunned for a moment. It is not just that the suit sits well on his shoulders, but this man is young and handsome, and Chanyeol hasn’t been particularly impressed by anyone’s visuals for quite a while. Still he manages to compose the thoughts in his head and offers a hand to shake.
“I’m Chanyeol. Baekhyun said you were looking for me?” The man returns the handshake firmly. The milky softness of his hand doesn’t escape Chanyeol’s thoughts.
“Ah you’re Chanyeol…?” Chanyeol doesn’t miss the subtle look of surprise on his face, so he smiles. He probably looks too young to be the one running a daycare. It’s not the first time he’s experienced this anyway. “Yup, that would fortunately or unfortunately - depending on how you see it - be me.”
The man laughs. A little awkward but at least it breaks the quiet air. He quickly apologises all of a sudden though, pointing at Sehun sleeping on Chanyeol’s shoulder. When Chanyeol realises what the apology was for, he waves his hand to convey that it’s okay. “He doesn’t want to sleep on his sleeping mat, only sleeps when I carry him. When he does fall asleep though, he’s like a log. You can talk as loud as you want he probably wouldn’t wake up,” Chanyeol laughs as he fondly pushes Sehun’s fringe falling over his face.
“Ah I see. Oh, sorry, I’m Joonmyun.” The handsome man - Joonmyun - rubs his neck with his right hand a little awkwardly and probably Chanyeol thinks, shy because he forgot to introduce himself earlier. Not that Chanyeol really noticed in the first place. All of… Joonmyun is really attractive and Chanyeol has to will his thoughts to behave. “I know it’s already some months into the year, but I was wondering if I could trouble you to take my son, Jongin, in for the day-care? He makes friends easily so it shouldn’t be too hard on him. My job’s schedule has been tight lately and … yeah,” he smiles sheepishly, as if having let go too much information that he shouldn’t have with a stranger.
“Oh, don’t worry! We’re okay with one more!” Chanyeol squats down to Jongin’s eye-level, who quickly hides behind Joonmyun’s legs. In contrast to Joonmyun’s snow fair skin, Jongin’s a little more tan than his father.
“I’m sorry, he’s usually really friendly. Jongin-ah, come on now, say hello to Teacher Chanyeol?”
“It’s okay, I’m very used to kids behaving this way. It’s only natural they stay close with the people they think would protect them,” Chanyeol beams up at Joonmyun. His eyes then find Jongin again, “Hello Jongin, I’m Chanyeol, you can call me Teacher Chanyeol or just Teacher Yeol.” Chanyeol waves and puts on his best smile. Squatting down while holding Sehun with an arm is really quite a challenge though but he tries his best to keep that out of his expression.
Jongin who was peeking from behind Joonmyun’s dress pants early slowly slides his right foot out and bends half his body to see his new teacher. Chanyeol waves again. Then all of a sudden Jongin holds up four fingers towards Chanyeol. The latter is a little puzzled, but then he hears a laugh from above him. This time Joonmyun squats down too.
“I taught him how to introduce himself, but he leaves everything out and only shows his age,” he explains while ruffling Jongin’s hair.
“Ah, so Jongin is four years old?” Chanyeol asks the boy while holding out 4 fingers as well. He nods enthusiastically. Chanyeol returns his enthusiasm with a wide smile and while he observes Jongin’s interactions with Joonmyun, his heart swells with some kind of emotion he doesn’t really understand. Especially not with strangers he just met.
“I’ll leave him in your hands then?” Joonmyun more of states, than asks, while handing the hand holding Jongin’s over to Chanyeol. Deep inside Chanyeol is really hoping the boy doesn’t cry and thankfully he doesn’t. On the contrary, Jongin takes Chanyeol’s free hand really easily and lets go of his father’s, as if mature enough to understand that he has to stay here while his father works. “I’ll come by and fetch you after school, alright?” Joonmyun bends down to kiss Jongin’s cheeks. The boy nods. “7 is a good time?”
“Yup, 7 is good. Most of the activities are done by 6, and kids wait for their parents from 6 to 7. So 7 is okay - we’ll keep Jongin entertained till then,” Chanyeol humors. Joonmyun smiles too and thanks him profusely, clearly trying to convey how great of a help the day care is for him right now. Chanyeol nods and returns the thanks. He excuses himself for abit and comes back with a form for Joonmyun to fill in: details about himself, Jongin and things like Jongin's allergies and such. When Joonmyun is done, Chanyeol and Jongin both then stood at the entrance of the hallway watching as Joonmyun gets into the silver Mercedes, winds down the window and waves at Jongin before driving off. When all that’s left is the empty driveway, Chanyeol tightens his grip on Jongin’s little hand.
“Come on, now, I think it's time to wake your new friends.”
---
“There’s something I can’t read in your eyes but it’s been there the whole time since you brought Jongin in. Something you wanna tell me?”
Chanyeol is a little stunned as he locks the gates to the daycare. He already knows that between the two of them, Baekhyun was always the sharper one. Chanyeol may be the one who aces all the examinations, but Baekhyun is street-smart and very quick-witted. Still the question is unexpected.
“Hmm? What are you talking about?” Chanyeol feigns ignorance as he double checks the padlock, and tiptoes to look into the day care for just one last look.
All the kids have been fetched by their parents, and the sun is only just setting. He’s thankful that it’s not too dark yet though; it’s Chanyeol’s favourite time of the day. It’s still bright but not too bright, and Chanyeol finds some kind of comfort in it. Day means routine and work and night means emptiness. The in-between makes him feel a little like himself, and a lot more content.
“I’ve been your best friend for more than 20 years, Chanyeol. You know you can’t lie.” Chanyeol can almost hear Baekhyun rolling his eyes. “It’s definitely not anything to do with Jongin though. It’s Jongin’s dad isn’t it? The guy who called for you?”
Chanyeol stays silent at this taking long strides on the pavement while swinging the keys on his index finger.
“I knew it!!!” Chanyeol knows Baekhyun has to walk twice as fast when he takes these long strides so he revels in the knowledge of that fact considering the questions Baekhyun is asking that he refuses to answer. “He was pretty good looking, I must say. Oh, I should tell Kyungsoo! Our Chanyeol-ie is finally learning to love again!” Baekhyun does a little twirl on the pavement with his hands stretched outwards. Chanyeol is very close to running and not acknowledging Baekhyun with the strange stares that the passers-by are giving. Contrary to his thoughts though, Chanyeol stops in his tracks and turns around.
“Please don’t tell Kyungsoo? Ok, I admit, Joonmyun was cute,” at this Baekhyun goes, “Oohh, Joonmyun~” but Chanyeol ignores it completely, “but he has a kid Baekhyun! It’s wrong, and I don’t want to harbour feelings for a man I hardly know.”
“So what if he has a kid though?”
“It’s not just the kid, but I’m almost a hundred percent sure he was wearing a ring on his marriage finger,” Chanyeol recalls the soft hand that held on to Jongin’s, the soft hand that shook his. He rubs his palms together subconsciously. "That also means he has a wife and I don't want to ruin somebody else's happiness."
"You can't just assume he has a wife he could be -"
"Baekhyun... you know that's not the point. Joonmyun's... He's off-limits okay? God, I shouldn't even be talking about this." Chanyeol runs his fingers through his dark brown hair. He feels Baekhyun wraps an arm around Chanyeol's shoulder.
"Let's have movie night, shall we? Just you and me? Kyungsoo is working overtime tonight anyway," Baekhyun offers softly. Chanyeol knows that this is his best friend's way of consoling him, and while Chanyeol is more often than not up for movie night with just his best friend, he's not in the mood right now and he definitely doesn't need any consoling. It's not like he had anything with Joonmyun in the first place.
So Chanyeol replies, "Not tonight," and when he sees the furrowing of Baekhyun's eyebrow in worry he tells his best friend that he's fine and just wants to be alone for the night. Baekhyun looks at him in the eye for all of 10 seconds in silence, until he finally says okay and they part ways at the crossroads to make their way home.
When Chanyeol's done with his cup of ramyun and a nice warm shower, he lays on his bed thinking of Baekhyun's words. While his mind tells him that he only has Joonmyun on his mind because of Baekhyun, his heart tells him otherwise. Everything about Joonmyun is so vivid in his mind - his angelic smile, the gentleness in his speech, his all too-polite gestures.... While they were all superficial, Chanyeol is very much attracted.
Then his mind wonders to Jongin and how quickly he made friends in the daycare. Sehun had taken quite a liking to him too, and it warmed his heart then to see Sehun opening up to a friend. In fact, just earlier today Sehun asked if he could sleep on the mat, but only next to Jongin. Thinking of Jongin, he quickly remembers too, the ring on Joonmyun's hand and wonders what in the world he has gotten himself into for the nth time in his life.
I'm so weak, he thinks, and tries to slow his rapidly beating heart, falling asleep to the memory of Joonmyun's smile on his mind.
---
Fate must have decided that it would be fun to play a terrible joke on him, however.
It's been a week since Jongin joined the daycare and this is the first time such a thing has happened. The sun has bid its goodbye and the sky is now dark. It's 7:30, and Chanyeol is sitting on the floor of the hallway entrance, watching over Jongin who is running around by himself in the empty driveway. Baekhyun had asked him if he would be alright by himself. Chanyeol said he would be, and he is, so Baekhyun already left earlier. Chanyeol and Jongin are the only two people left, both waiting for Joonmyun.
He did already text Joonmyun earlier, with the number given on the registration sheet.
Hi Mr Kim, this is Chanyeol from Park's Happy Daycare. Will you be coming to fetch Jongin soon? ^^
Yes, I'm so sorry! Work ended late, I'm on my way
That was 25 minutes ago. 25 minutes later the two of them are still here waiting for a silver Mercedes to drive in. As if thought too soon, Chanyeol finally hears the sound of the car turning in to the small driveway. He quickly grabs Jongin and holds onto him incase the little one runs in the car’s direction. When it comes to a complete stop, Jongin wriggles out of Chanyeol’s hold and runs to his dad.
“Jongin-ah!! Appa is so sorry he’s late today,” Joonmyun apologises while smothering Jongin’s cheeks in kisses the little boy is all too happy to receive. Jongin wraps his arms tightly around Joonmyun’s neck, as if his dad would disappear if he lets go. Joonmyun rubs a hand down his back and kisses Jongin again. Meanwhile, Chanyeol watches from a few steps away, and when he’s sure that Jongin’s safe and the two of them are going to leave, he turns around, ready to grab his bag and leave for home.
“Chanyeol-ssi!” Chanyeol’s heart does a little trip as he hears his name being called out in the gentle voice that’s been etched in his mind. Chanyeol only turns around though when he feels a tap on his shoulder. Joonmyun had walked to him, and Chanyeol isn’t sure how to stomach this closeness between the two of them. Back when Joonmyun was registering Jongin, Chanyeol kept a polite distance, also because carrying Sehun was not allowing him to get much closer. But this, when he turns around, Joonmyun is right in front of him, and Chanyeol thinks he can smell the cologne on the other. Standing like this, Chanyeol can see the difference in their heights, can see how perfectly Joonmyun would fit in his -
“..Chanyeol?” The same voice that led him into a daydream state snaps him out of it and Chanyeol thanks the night sky for hiding the flush in his cheeks.
“Sorry I was distracted for a bit.. Were you saying something?” Mentally, he chides himself for making such a terrible impression. Joonmyun must think he’s weird now.
“Ah, I was just umm asking you if you wanted some coffee..? My treat… Since you had to stay with Jongin over closing time and all…” Chanyeol thinks Joonmyun is so adorable, the way he’s all shy and not making any eye contact with Chanyeol at all. In fact he’s looking everywhere but at Chanyeol. “But it’s f-fine… If you’re uhhh busy and you don’t want to..”
Chanyeol laughs, for how could he reject? “I’d love to,” he replies and again for the nth time in his life wonders why his heart is so weak, why he makes himself vulnerable to heartache, and why he can’t just say no to Joonmyun.
Joonmyun drives the 3 of them to Coffee Corner, a quaint little cafe not too far from where the daycare is. The walls are coloured a calming cream, and while the tables are all made of wood, the chairs are slightly quirky - some of plastic, some of wood and some of metal. It’s cosy and Chanyeol makes a mental note to make his way here more often. The interior is not huge, hence able to cater to only a handful customers at one time. Thankfully, there’s a four-seater table that’s empty, just nice for them to occupy.
“Anything in particular you want to drink?” Joonmyun asks. Jongin is unsuccessfully trying to get on the seat that’s a little too high for him, so Joonmyun lifts him up and makes sure the little one is properly seated.
“I’m fine with anything.. I just.. don’t particularly like coffee…?” Joonmyun nods, “Milk-based for you then. I can’t live without my coffee. I’ll just get you the same drink as mine?” Chanyeol nods.
He watches as Joonmyun makes his way over to the counter and orders the drinks. Even his back view is beautiful, Chanyeol thinks. Chanyeol’s distraction however is broken by Jongin’s laughter, and he turns to find Jongin giggling to himself as he plays with the flower in the vase on the table. Chanyeol would love to be a kid again, where pulling flowers down and watching it lift up again was one of the most amusing things, and he wouldn’t have to worry about inappropriate feelings like what he has for Joonmyun.
“Here we go,” Joonmyun arrives with the tray, and hands Jongin first a small cup with water.
“Appa! I want that,” Jongin sulks while pointing to the bigger plastic cups filled with what looks like a caramelised drink and whipped cream.
“None for you Jongin or you’re gonna cough and fall sick like the last time I gave you something cold. This one is for adults like me and Teacher Chanyeol. I’ll make you hot choco when we get back okay?” Joonmyun brushes Jongin’s hair with his fingers and kisses the latter’s forhead. Chanyeol smiles watching their interaction, and with Jongin being easy to please, he was quick to nod and smile and hold the plastic cup of water in his little hands.
“I got a caramel frappe, I hope that’s okay for you? Yours is milk-based like you asked,” Joonmyun hands over one of the cups to Chanyeol. Chanyeol receives it while thanking him, and tears open the straw packet to drink.
It’s much too sweet - without the coffee there’s only caramel and milk. Joonmyun must’ve noticed the slight change in Chanyeol’s expression as he quickly apologises. “I’m sorry, is it not to your taste? Ah I should’ve known, I should’ve let you seen the whole menu -”
Chanyeol thinks it’s adorable how flustered Joonmyun is, the way he licks his lips in embarrassment and scratches at his neck. His hands move like he’s not sure if he should grab the cup and change the drink or leave it. Chanyeol almost feels bad for even showing it on his face, so he cuts Joonmyun’s rambling.
“No no, it’s fine! It’s just that I didn’t expect it to be this sweet.” Chanyeol takes another sip of his drink to prove his point. It’s not bad really after the first few sips. The sweetness just takes a bit of getting used to.
“So you don’t like sweet things?” Joonmyun asks while fiddling with the straw in his drink. His right hand is on Jongin’s lap, which looks to be some form of protective measure in case Jongin falls over. This way, Chanyeol can’t help but notice the shiny ring on his left hand, right on the marriage finger. There’s a somewhat unexplainable ache in his chest, but he swallows it down to answer the question directed to him.
“Oh sweet things are fine, just not too sweet..? Anyway this is not too bad after a while. Thank you, by the way, for the drink. You really didn’t have to. You’re not the first parent who was late in picking up their child. I mean there are worse - there were those who forgot and wouldn’t have fetched their kids if I didn’t call them at all,” Chanyeol shakes his head in reminiscence.
“You’re welcome. I’m glad I’m not the worst though, I feel bad enough as it already is.”
There’s that smile again, the one that makes Chanyeol want to hold Joonmyun and protect him from everything that might ever hurt him. The smile that makes Chanyeol want to forget what’s right and what’s wrong and just follow his heart. The smile that is going to make Chanyeol’s heart a mess, and a very broken one knowing that he can’t see it as and when he wants.
Silence follows their earlier conversation, and it’s a little awkward like Chanyeol could almost feel the air just hanging there around them waiting for someone to make it move. There’s only the sound of the straws moving in the cups as the two of them awkwardly shift the straws around. Occasionally Jongin would call “Appa!” and Joonmyun entertains him for a bit. After that the silence begins again.
Chanyeol is not a fan of prolonged silence; he’s been around Baekhyun since he was born and the two of them were too noisy when put together, still are. So as much as Chanyeol hates the question he’s about to ask, he thinks it might: first, at least break the awkward air and second, help him get over this strange rapid beating of his heart everytime he thinks of or sees Joonmyun.
“So… how long have you been married?”
Instead of getting the response he expected, Chanyeol is greeted with Joonmyun’s surprised look, his eyes slightly widened and eyebrows furrowed. It kind of makes Chanyeol backtrack a little, thinking if he said something weird. But he doesn’t remember saying anything strange so he uses his facial expression to point to the ring on Joonmyun’s hand now around the cup. Joonmyun’s eyes follow his gaze.
“Ah…” Joonmyun releases his grip of the cup, clenches his fist and brings it onto his lap, hidden under the table where Chanyeol can’t see it anymore.
“Oh, I’m sorry, was that too personal? Right, I suppose you don’t share random information with strangers, that’s what we tell the kids haha and look what I’m doing now, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” Chanyeol quickly apologises after observing Joonmyun’s reaction.
“No, it’s fine, really.” Even with Joonmyun’s reply, Chanyeol doesn’t miss the way Joonmyun is now looking at the table and the hand that was on Jongin is now fiddling with his left hand under the table. Chanyeol can’t see it but he can tell from where he is.
“She must be a pretty lucky lady, Jongin’s umma. To have been able to win your heart,” Chanyeol’s does a double take at his own words, and hopes he hasn’t let out too much by saying that. It’s normal to say such things right? You’re lucky to have someone, someone’s lucky to have you… it’s not weird… right? While Chanyeol has all these thoughts in his head, Jongin stands on his chair.
“Umma…? Appa? Umma?” Jongin has his arms out and his head tilted to the side. Chanyeol laughs at Jongin’s cute actions.
Joonmyun on the other hand shushes Jongin quickly and lifts the boy up to make him sit properly on the wooden chair.
Thankfully though, the rest of the night wasn’t too bad, with Joonmyun now willing to ask more questions and speak more. Chanyeol finds out that Joonmyun’s an executive officer in some government building Chanyeol can hardly remember, and since one of his colleagues is on long-term leave, he’s had to shoulder a heavier workload resulting in the longer working hours. That’s why he was late to fetch Jongin today. Chanyeol also learns that Joonmyun (as Chanyeol expected) has a soft heart, and goes to the animal shelter every weekend to volunteer. He couldn’t for a while because Jongin was too young but now that Jongin’s old enough, he brings the little one to the shelter too and Jongin helps around with the little tasks like feeding the animals.
Listening to Joonmyun talk about Jongin makes the corners of Chanyeol’s lips perk up by themselves - the love that Joonmyun has for Jongin is as clear as day, and Chanyeol can see it in Joonmyun’s eyes, the proud parent he is of Jongin. And just like that, Chanyeol finds himself falling even more into the dark abyss of Joonmyun.
When they were done with their drinks, Joonmyun too kindly offers to send Chanyeol home, and in a few minutes Chanyeol finds himself at the entrance of his apartment building. He thanks Joonmyun again with a slight bow of his head and waves to Jongin who excitedly waves back behind the closed window.
On the way up, his phone gives a short buzz, telling of a message received.
I had a great time today, thank you Chanyeol ^^
Chanyeol smiles while looking at the emoticon Joonmyun wrote in at the end of the message. It really reminds him of Joonmyun, the way his eyes shape when he breaks into a smile.
Haha no, thank you Joonmyun-ssi. For the drink too! :)
Just Joonmyun will do~
Chanyeol’s about to type something a little cheeky in reply as a joke, but another buzz signals another message coming in.
Maybe we should do this again some time? ^^
His heart probably skipped a beat, or several beats rather. Ignoring the beatings of his heart, he focuses on the message. Joonmyun probably enjoyed his company as much as he enjoyed Joonmyun’s. After all, Joonmyun is married and Chanyeol’s the only one harboring a one-sided attraction (he refuses to call this love, much less like, just yet) for him. Before he knows it, his fingers are typing away his response, following the desires of his heart.
Sure, I’d love to :)
Then he sends another one remembering that Joonmyun would still be on the way home.
Now don’t reply to this! Drive safe, see you and Jongin tomorrow!!! :D
Unlocking the apartment door and quickly plopping himself onto the couch, he looks up at the ceiling and thinks about today. It’s been long since he last sat down and talked to anyone about himself, freely and without reservations. Joonmyun made him want to tell everything, even to the skeletons in his closet if he had any. In the same way, he loves listening to Joonmyun speak, loves knowing more about Joonmyun every minute becoming more perfect than the Joonmyun he knew a minute ago. It fills up a little of the void he’s been feeling somewhere inside, and with his arm across his forehead, he closes his eyes, finding himself smiling and looking forward to the next milk-based caramel drink he would drink.
His mind screams out loud at how terrible an idea it is, how he might end up wrecking someone’s home, cause trauma to a child, scratch open the wound he’s only just finished stitching up.
But his heart swells at the thought of Joonmyun and he thinks, one more time wouldn’t hurt.
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