What we once were for nachtegael
For: nachtegael
Title: What we once were
Pairing(s): Chanyeol/Sehun
Rating: G
Length: 2.2k
Summary: Chanyeol gets homesick living abroad, constantly on the solo tour circuit. He starts getting letters from another ex-member of Exo, the one person he thought would be the last one to reach out to him.
Author's note: Your prompts were great and I had a rough idea on what I actually wanted to write - but when I actually write it out - I felt like it didn’t really delivered what I wanted. I’m so sorry if it’s not what you wanted
“Chanyeol! Chanyeol! Chanyeol!”
Chanyeol could hear the screams of the excited fans, waiting for him to take the stage. He performed a total of 12 songs tonight and it was time for the encore stage.
“Please keep your eyes closed” the make-up artist said, gently applying some eye-shadow and at the same time wiping off his sweat.
“Hyung, this is the last, right?” Chanyeol asked his manager. He has been waiting for this day for the past three years. After endless promotions and comebacks, and a whole year of tour, it’s finally a month-long break for him.
“Ouh. You have a month’s vacation starting from tomorrow. You’ve worked hard!”
Chanyeol managed a small grin, quickly standing up and let the stylist fix his outfit before he prepares to take the stage.
It’s been a long time! Chanyeol said out loud, entering his apartment, back in Seoul. He walks into the bedroom, drops his bag and jumps into bed.
‘Ahh I can’t be bothered to shower. I should just sleep in first….’
Chanyeol lies down in bed, and stares blankly at the celling. He picks up his phone and fiddles with it.
‘Isn’t there any interesting news today? Hmmm…. Should I upload a picture?’
Chanyeol switches on the light and took 10 shots of himself. He looks through each picture and finally decided to upload what he thinks is his best looking picture.
‘Done!’
Chanyeol’s phone made a beep sound as soon as he put his phone down.
‘Definitely fans are fast! *laughs* Ahh… they’re so cute.’
He smiles, turn off the notifications on his phone and stared at the celling blankly again. After staring at it for some time, he finally falls asleep.
The freshly brewed coffee smell filled the entire apartment. Stepping out of the shower, Chanyeol grabs the stack of mails which he didn’t bother to check for the past few months.
He quickly runs through them with his fingers until his eye caught something. His fingers stopped and he gently took the letter out.
‘Sehun?’
The envelope had water stains on it and was slightly brownish at the corners. Chanyeol wondered how long has the letter been sitting there for.
Chanyeol tilted his head, “Why would Sehun send me a letter?”
“Chanyeol-hyung, how are you doing? It’s been a long time, right? I’ve been listening to your solos and diligently watching your performances on screen each time. I know it’s weird that I am writing a letter to you, but…. I miss you a lot.
But Hyung, wouldn’t it be possible for us to meet again?”
Chanyeol reads it for the fifth time, but he still doesn’t know how to react to it. He never would have thought Sehun would write him a letter. In fact, he thought Sehun would never contact him ever again since they had parted ways.
He puts the letter aside and slowly looks through the rest of his mail. He picks out another 3 letters which Sehun had sent him.
“Hyung… busy? Today I walked pass Han River and remembered the time we had our late night picnic. I miss those times.”
“Hyung… I went there yesterday. The scar still hurts… but there is no one to talk about it besides you. You’re hurting too, right? I’m sorry, hyung.”
Chanyeol lays down in bed and let Sehun letters sink in.
It all started when Chanyeol found out that Sehun was dating Yura secretly. He caught them on a date together, and he couldn’t believe his eyes.
“You’re dating Yura Noona?” Chanyeol questioned Sehun in disbelief.
Sehun stood there silently, and nodded. “Hyung… this… how do I explain it…”
“Are you crazy? Explain? What were you thinking dating her?” Chanyeol snapped.
“We love each other. Believe me, I really love Yura Nonna.” Sehun defended himself.
Chanyeol threw a fist at Sehun before he knew it, but he couldn’t control his anger.
“Get out of my face! Don’t let me catch you dating Yura again! I’m not going to let you off if that happens, understand?!”
Sehun watched Chanyeol left in anger and stared at his back till it disappeared from sight.
“Noona, how is life over there? Sehun contacted me. If I knew you would leave us so early, I should have just let you two date back then. I’m sorry, noona.” Chanyeol thinks out loud.
“Hyung? Chanyeol Hyung?” Sehun answers his phone carefully. “Let’s meet.” Chanyeol’s voice sounded nervous and it took Sehun a few seconds to register what he just heard before agreeing.
They decided to meet at Han River, as it’s the only comfortable place to be with each other.
Chanyeol rubs his hands together and wipes his sweat. It’s been a long time since he was this nervous. Deep inside he was excited to meet the friend who he had shared so much with, but part of him was unwilling - nervous and scared of what will happen.
He saw Sehun from a distance and instinctively smiled - happy to see his friend. But seconds later, his face turned dark, remembering everything which happened between them.
“I said to stop meeting her, didn’t I? Why are you still messing around with Yura?” Chanyeol screamed, waking up everyone in the dorm.
“Chanyeol, what are you talking about? Who’s messing around with who?” Baekhyun asked.
“Ya Oh Sehun! Go pick someone else, anyone else but Yura!” Chanyeol said, grabbing Sehun’s collar.
“Guys, calm down. What are you talking about right now?” Suho asked, while the other members pulled Chanyeol from Sehun.
“It’s true that I’m dating Yura, but we love each other! Stop doing this, Hyung… Yura has been under a lot of stress from this too. Just respect us, will you?” Sehun pleaded.
The members exchanged confused looks.
“Love? Respect? Are you joking with me? Ya! When Tao left, you cling onto me because you were depressed, you’re just clinging onto Yura for the same reason! You don’t love her!” Chanyeol blurted out.
Sehun was taken aback. “Hyung, was I clinging onto you?”
Tears started to fall. “Hyung, for me, I really thought you were a great comfort. Being there for me when I lost a close friend, I thought to myself that I still have good friends around.”
Chanyeol felt it. A sharp pain. He didn’t meant what he had said. He didn’t say it to make Sehun feel that way. He was just angry over the fact that Sehun was dating Yura.
“But Hyung, how could you think that I’m with Yura just because I’m still depressed and need someone to cling onto?”
“Sehun, calm down. Chanyeol, you should apologise” Kyungsoo said, hoping that his friends stopped arguing.
“Apologise? For what?” Chanyeol said defensively.
“If you’re unhappy, you can just leave. Just like your good friend, you could just leave us!”
He immediately regretted what he had said.
“Hyung, do you think you’re so innocent?” Sehun argues.
“You’re so tactless, that most of us talk about you behind your back. You had no idea, right?”
“You always think your words are right, you’re so stubborn and you are always seeking for attention! You’re ridiculous!”
Before they knew it, they were throwing punches and in a midst of the physical fight and the members trying their best to separate the two, Kyungsoo fell on a glass table which shattered.
The members were shocked. Kyungsoo was bleeding from the head and there were cuts on his arms and legs.
Chanyeol and Sehun stood in shocked. “Call 119!” Jongdae panicked.
“Are you two crazy?! Are you happy now?” Suho shouted at both Sehun and Chanyeol, who were too shocked to move.
That’s when everyone’s misery started.
Time passed by in a blink of an eye. Kyungsoo was rushed to the hospital and needed surgery for his head injury. The reporters and netizens were going crazy speculating what happened. It didn’t help that the some of the members had bruises on their faces, or arms.
Rumors that the members weren’t getting along were flying around, and fans were divided.
Just like that, a lot of time passed and they couldn’t make a comeback. Minseok and Sehun decided to leave the group. Due to the negativity which stuck with them, unfortunately, the group announced their disbandment.
“Hyung, how are you?” Sehun asked awkwardly as Chanyeol approaches him.
“As you see, I’m doing fine.” Chanyeol smiles.
Just like that, they stood there without saying anything for about 5 minutes. “Should we find a place to sit?” Chanyeol asked.
Sehun nodded.
“How are you?” Chanyeol asked, carefully observing how much Sehun have changed since they last saw each other.
“I’m good.”
They found an empty bench facing the river, and Chanyeol gestured at Sehun to sit, before sitting down himself.
“I saw your letter…. Honestly, I didn’t know what to do with it.”
Sehun smiled. “I hesitated for a long time. But every year, it’s difficult. There’s no one to talk to except for you.”
His smile slowing fades away and he stares blankly into the river in front of him.
“It’s been… 5 years right?” Chanyeol said, without looking at Sehun.
“It’s a long time. Back then, I didn’t even know I’ll come this far.”
Sehun looks at Chanyeol. He’s changed, he thought to himself. The boy who used to smile brightly and talk a lot is now keeping so much inside of him.
“Hyung, listen, back then… I’m really sorry.”
Chanyeol let out a small sigh and a weak smile. “No - I’m sorry.”
“It wasn’t even my life, and I kept Yura noona and you apart.” Chanyeol said softly, shaking his head.
“It’s your sister. I understood back then why you acted the way you did.”
“No - I should have trusted you. I had no idea that Yura and you were really in love. And if I knew that she would be gone so soon, I would have just let you two date.”
After news of the disbandment broke out, Sehun had called Yura to meet. Chanyeol found out that Yura had went out to meet someone, and he called her.
“Noona, you’re not meeting Sehun, right?”
“Chanyeol-ah, please just leave us alone! I’m your noona! Sehun and I really like each other. We’re not even getting married so why are you overreacting?!”
“Noona! Are you crazy?! Don’t meet him!”
“Chanyeol-ah! I’m driving right now - I’ll talk to you at home”
“Noona! Just come back home!” Chanyeol screamed.
“Chanyeol-ah!”
That was the last Chanyeol heard from Yura. He heard honking followed with a loud crash before the line went dead.
“How’s your parents? Are they doing well?” Sehun asked.
“They’re fine.”
“Sehun-ah, for blaming you at the funeral, I’m sorry.”
“No hyung, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called her out. I should have stopped when you told me to.”
“Did you contact the others?” Chanyeol asked, curious.
Sehun shakes his head, “No. How could I?”
Chanyeol nods and smiles, “You’re right. After causing that ruckus back then, we can’t possibly contact them, right?”
“How did we came to this?” Chanyeol asked, not expecting any answer to the question.
Chanyeol stares blankly at the sky, remembering the times when all 12 of them secretly hang out at the Han River at midnight. They would cycle, play ball and just talk about anything. He then remembered of the times that when scandals keep breaking out for the group, he and Sehun had spent so much time together, healing their broken hearts.
“Hyung, should we meet like this from time to time?” Sehun asked.
Chanyeol smiles. “We should.”
“I keep missing Yura and I can’t talk to my parents about her.”
Sehun looks at Chanyeol, “Hyung, I have no one to talk to about her, besides you.”
Both of them let out a small smile.
“Should we get going now?” Chanyeol asked.
“We should, right?”
“Hyung, let’s meet again next time.”
Chanyeol nods.
As they both stood up, they awkwardly waved at each other and walked in opposite direction.
Chanyeol slowly walks away and smiles to himself.
I did a good thing at coming out, he thought.
Will we ever meet again? He thinks to himself.
Even though they said they would meet again, but deep inside, he knows it’s easier said than done. They had hurt each other too much.
A long time has passed, and many things have changed. Even if they had forgiven each other and move on - the scar remains.
As he continued walking, tears started to fall and his heart felt heavy.
It’s sad, he thought. There was a time when we all promised to be together and love each other but no one knew what awaits them.
As much as he was happy meeting Sehun again, he can’t pretend nothing happened in the past - and he knew Sehun would have felt the same way.
It’s just like when you try putting a broken mirror together, it’s not the same anymore.
“But still… I want to see him again. Maybe not anytime soon, but on another day like this, we’ll meet again.” Chanyeol speaks out loud.
Title: What we once were
Pairing(s): Chanyeol/Sehun
Rating: G
Length: 2.2k
Summary: Chanyeol gets homesick living abroad, constantly on the solo tour circuit. He starts getting letters from another ex-member of Exo, the one person he thought would be the last one to reach out to him.
Author's note: Your prompts were great and I had a rough idea on what I actually wanted to write - but when I actually write it out - I felt like it didn’t really delivered what I wanted. I’m so sorry if it’s not what you wanted
“Chanyeol! Chanyeol! Chanyeol!”
Chanyeol could hear the screams of the excited fans, waiting for him to take the stage. He performed a total of 12 songs tonight and it was time for the encore stage.
“Please keep your eyes closed” the make-up artist said, gently applying some eye-shadow and at the same time wiping off his sweat.
“Hyung, this is the last, right?” Chanyeol asked his manager. He has been waiting for this day for the past three years. After endless promotions and comebacks, and a whole year of tour, it’s finally a month-long break for him.
“Ouh. You have a month’s vacation starting from tomorrow. You’ve worked hard!”
Chanyeol managed a small grin, quickly standing up and let the stylist fix his outfit before he prepares to take the stage.
It’s been a long time! Chanyeol said out loud, entering his apartment, back in Seoul. He walks into the bedroom, drops his bag and jumps into bed.
‘Ahh I can’t be bothered to shower. I should just sleep in first….’
Chanyeol lies down in bed, and stares blankly at the celling. He picks up his phone and fiddles with it.
‘Isn’t there any interesting news today? Hmmm…. Should I upload a picture?’
Chanyeol switches on the light and took 10 shots of himself. He looks through each picture and finally decided to upload what he thinks is his best looking picture.
‘Done!’
Chanyeol’s phone made a beep sound as soon as he put his phone down.
‘Definitely fans are fast! *laughs* Ahh… they’re so cute.’
He smiles, turn off the notifications on his phone and stared at the celling blankly again. After staring at it for some time, he finally falls asleep.
The freshly brewed coffee smell filled the entire apartment. Stepping out of the shower, Chanyeol grabs the stack of mails which he didn’t bother to check for the past few months.
He quickly runs through them with his fingers until his eye caught something. His fingers stopped and he gently took the letter out.
‘Sehun?’
The envelope had water stains on it and was slightly brownish at the corners. Chanyeol wondered how long has the letter been sitting there for.
Chanyeol tilted his head, “Why would Sehun send me a letter?”
“Chanyeol-hyung, how are you doing? It’s been a long time, right? I’ve been listening to your solos and diligently watching your performances on screen each time. I know it’s weird that I am writing a letter to you, but…. I miss you a lot.
But Hyung, wouldn’t it be possible for us to meet again?”
Chanyeol reads it for the fifth time, but he still doesn’t know how to react to it. He never would have thought Sehun would write him a letter. In fact, he thought Sehun would never contact him ever again since they had parted ways.
He puts the letter aside and slowly looks through the rest of his mail. He picks out another 3 letters which Sehun had sent him.
“Hyung… busy? Today I walked pass Han River and remembered the time we had our late night picnic. I miss those times.”
“Hyung… I went there yesterday. The scar still hurts… but there is no one to talk about it besides you. You’re hurting too, right? I’m sorry, hyung.”
Chanyeol lays down in bed and let Sehun letters sink in.
It all started when Chanyeol found out that Sehun was dating Yura secretly. He caught them on a date together, and he couldn’t believe his eyes.
“You’re dating Yura Noona?” Chanyeol questioned Sehun in disbelief.
Sehun stood there silently, and nodded. “Hyung… this… how do I explain it…”
“Are you crazy? Explain? What were you thinking dating her?” Chanyeol snapped.
“We love each other. Believe me, I really love Yura Nonna.” Sehun defended himself.
Chanyeol threw a fist at Sehun before he knew it, but he couldn’t control his anger.
“Get out of my face! Don’t let me catch you dating Yura again! I’m not going to let you off if that happens, understand?!”
Sehun watched Chanyeol left in anger and stared at his back till it disappeared from sight.
“Noona, how is life over there? Sehun contacted me. If I knew you would leave us so early, I should have just let you two date back then. I’m sorry, noona.” Chanyeol thinks out loud.
“Hyung? Chanyeol Hyung?” Sehun answers his phone carefully. “Let’s meet.” Chanyeol’s voice sounded nervous and it took Sehun a few seconds to register what he just heard before agreeing.
They decided to meet at Han River, as it’s the only comfortable place to be with each other.
Chanyeol rubs his hands together and wipes his sweat. It’s been a long time since he was this nervous. Deep inside he was excited to meet the friend who he had shared so much with, but part of him was unwilling - nervous and scared of what will happen.
He saw Sehun from a distance and instinctively smiled - happy to see his friend. But seconds later, his face turned dark, remembering everything which happened between them.
“I said to stop meeting her, didn’t I? Why are you still messing around with Yura?” Chanyeol screamed, waking up everyone in the dorm.
“Chanyeol, what are you talking about? Who’s messing around with who?” Baekhyun asked.
“Ya Oh Sehun! Go pick someone else, anyone else but Yura!” Chanyeol said, grabbing Sehun’s collar.
“Guys, calm down. What are you talking about right now?” Suho asked, while the other members pulled Chanyeol from Sehun.
“It’s true that I’m dating Yura, but we love each other! Stop doing this, Hyung… Yura has been under a lot of stress from this too. Just respect us, will you?” Sehun pleaded.
The members exchanged confused looks.
“Love? Respect? Are you joking with me? Ya! When Tao left, you cling onto me because you were depressed, you’re just clinging onto Yura for the same reason! You don’t love her!” Chanyeol blurted out.
Sehun was taken aback. “Hyung, was I clinging onto you?”
Tears started to fall. “Hyung, for me, I really thought you were a great comfort. Being there for me when I lost a close friend, I thought to myself that I still have good friends around.”
Chanyeol felt it. A sharp pain. He didn’t meant what he had said. He didn’t say it to make Sehun feel that way. He was just angry over the fact that Sehun was dating Yura.
“But Hyung, how could you think that I’m with Yura just because I’m still depressed and need someone to cling onto?”
“Sehun, calm down. Chanyeol, you should apologise” Kyungsoo said, hoping that his friends stopped arguing.
“Apologise? For what?” Chanyeol said defensively.
“If you’re unhappy, you can just leave. Just like your good friend, you could just leave us!”
He immediately regretted what he had said.
“Hyung, do you think you’re so innocent?” Sehun argues.
“You’re so tactless, that most of us talk about you behind your back. You had no idea, right?”
“You always think your words are right, you’re so stubborn and you are always seeking for attention! You’re ridiculous!”
Before they knew it, they were throwing punches and in a midst of the physical fight and the members trying their best to separate the two, Kyungsoo fell on a glass table which shattered.
The members were shocked. Kyungsoo was bleeding from the head and there were cuts on his arms and legs.
Chanyeol and Sehun stood in shocked. “Call 119!” Jongdae panicked.
“Are you two crazy?! Are you happy now?” Suho shouted at both Sehun and Chanyeol, who were too shocked to move.
That’s when everyone’s misery started.
Time passed by in a blink of an eye. Kyungsoo was rushed to the hospital and needed surgery for his head injury. The reporters and netizens were going crazy speculating what happened. It didn’t help that the some of the members had bruises on their faces, or arms.
Rumors that the members weren’t getting along were flying around, and fans were divided.
Just like that, a lot of time passed and they couldn’t make a comeback. Minseok and Sehun decided to leave the group. Due to the negativity which stuck with them, unfortunately, the group announced their disbandment.
“Hyung, how are you?” Sehun asked awkwardly as Chanyeol approaches him.
“As you see, I’m doing fine.” Chanyeol smiles.
Just like that, they stood there without saying anything for about 5 minutes. “Should we find a place to sit?” Chanyeol asked.
Sehun nodded.
“How are you?” Chanyeol asked, carefully observing how much Sehun have changed since they last saw each other.
“I’m good.”
They found an empty bench facing the river, and Chanyeol gestured at Sehun to sit, before sitting down himself.
“I saw your letter…. Honestly, I didn’t know what to do with it.”
Sehun smiled. “I hesitated for a long time. But every year, it’s difficult. There’s no one to talk to except for you.”
His smile slowing fades away and he stares blankly into the river in front of him.
“It’s been… 5 years right?” Chanyeol said, without looking at Sehun.
“It’s a long time. Back then, I didn’t even know I’ll come this far.”
Sehun looks at Chanyeol. He’s changed, he thought to himself. The boy who used to smile brightly and talk a lot is now keeping so much inside of him.
“Hyung, listen, back then… I’m really sorry.”
Chanyeol let out a small sigh and a weak smile. “No - I’m sorry.”
“It wasn’t even my life, and I kept Yura noona and you apart.” Chanyeol said softly, shaking his head.
“It’s your sister. I understood back then why you acted the way you did.”
“No - I should have trusted you. I had no idea that Yura and you were really in love. And if I knew that she would be gone so soon, I would have just let you two date.”
After news of the disbandment broke out, Sehun had called Yura to meet. Chanyeol found out that Yura had went out to meet someone, and he called her.
“Noona, you’re not meeting Sehun, right?”
“Chanyeol-ah, please just leave us alone! I’m your noona! Sehun and I really like each other. We’re not even getting married so why are you overreacting?!”
“Noona! Are you crazy?! Don’t meet him!”
“Chanyeol-ah! I’m driving right now - I’ll talk to you at home”
“Noona! Just come back home!” Chanyeol screamed.
“Chanyeol-ah!”
That was the last Chanyeol heard from Yura. He heard honking followed with a loud crash before the line went dead.
“How’s your parents? Are they doing well?” Sehun asked.
“They’re fine.”
“Sehun-ah, for blaming you at the funeral, I’m sorry.”
“No hyung, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called her out. I should have stopped when you told me to.”
“Did you contact the others?” Chanyeol asked, curious.
Sehun shakes his head, “No. How could I?”
Chanyeol nods and smiles, “You’re right. After causing that ruckus back then, we can’t possibly contact them, right?”
“How did we came to this?” Chanyeol asked, not expecting any answer to the question.
Chanyeol stares blankly at the sky, remembering the times when all 12 of them secretly hang out at the Han River at midnight. They would cycle, play ball and just talk about anything. He then remembered of the times that when scandals keep breaking out for the group, he and Sehun had spent so much time together, healing their broken hearts.
“Hyung, should we meet like this from time to time?” Sehun asked.
Chanyeol smiles. “We should.”
“I keep missing Yura and I can’t talk to my parents about her.”
Sehun looks at Chanyeol, “Hyung, I have no one to talk to about her, besides you.”
Both of them let out a small smile.
“Should we get going now?” Chanyeol asked.
“We should, right?”
“Hyung, let’s meet again next time.”
Chanyeol nods.
As they both stood up, they awkwardly waved at each other and walked in opposite direction.
Chanyeol slowly walks away and smiles to himself.
I did a good thing at coming out, he thought.
Will we ever meet again? He thinks to himself.
Even though they said they would meet again, but deep inside, he knows it’s easier said than done. They had hurt each other too much.
A long time has passed, and many things have changed. Even if they had forgiven each other and move on - the scar remains.
As he continued walking, tears started to fall and his heart felt heavy.
It’s sad, he thought. There was a time when we all promised to be together and love each other but no one knew what awaits them.
As much as he was happy meeting Sehun again, he can’t pretend nothing happened in the past - and he knew Sehun would have felt the same way.
It’s just like when you try putting a broken mirror together, it’s not the same anymore.
“But still… I want to see him again. Maybe not anytime soon, but on another day like this, we’ll meet again.” Chanyeol speaks out loud.