No Regrets Available for intimebeing
For: intimebeing
Title: No Regrets Available
Pairing(s): Chanyeol/Kai/Sehun
Rating: PG-13
Warning(s): mentions of cigarette and alcohol brands lmao where do i know these things? i'm a bad girl (nappeun_gijibae.mp3). unbeta'd. all mistakes are me.
Length: 2890w
Summary: Just when Chanyeol thinks he knows Sehun and Jongin, they leave, and he doesn't realize how much he loves them until it hurts.
Author's note: Uhhh enjoy this short fic
Chanyeol first met them when he was still in high school, when he was a dork who had ears too big that they peeked out of his hair (his ears are still big, but he likes to think he doesn't look like a dork anymore). Though he looked like a dork, he was a rebel, one who never wore his tie or black colored shoes, one who modifies his pants to be as tight as possible, one who never tucks in his shirt.
Sehun was a quiet junior, but a handsome one, one that the girls in Chanyeol's class always talked about. They talked about his light brown hair and how he had perfect, strikingly handsome features. They talked about his handsome Chinese father, and his supermodel Korean mother, and his brother who was a trainee at SM Entertainment. The handsomeness was genetic, it seemed.
Then there was Jongin, the junior plucked straight out of a rebel group. He liked to unbutton the top button of his shirt, he liked his ties loose, and he liked to wear hats--even if it was forbidden at school. He was a handsome bad boy--and he still is. He had that smile, that sexiness, that cuteness, and every girl in every class has liked him at one point of their high school lives. His parents were never known, but a girl in Chanyeol's class did find out that his older sister lives in Japan as a model. The smile was definitely genetic.
Chanyeol was never interested in bullying juniors, unlike Baekhyun and Jongdae who enjoyed bullying and intimidating juniors greatly. He met Sehun and Jongin when he was hiding away in a corner of the school where teachers rarely ever come by, sitting atop an old table, long legs rested comfortably on the head of the old chairs, a cigarette in his left hand and his phone on the right. Jongin had been dragging Sehun around and they were laughing until they spotted Chanyeol smoking.
Chanyeol turns his head and spots the flower boys.
"So you're Sehun and Jongin?" Chanyeol asks after calling them over and having them sit on the floor beneath him. Bullying is surprisingly fun, no wonder Baekhyun and Jongdae liked it so much. It was a form of revenge for how they were treated when they were juniors like Jongin and Sehun. It was somewhat rewarding to have someone be so scared of you, so intimidated, and just knowing that you have power over them, it was enjoyable to Chanyeol.
"Yeah.." Jongin answered, fixing his collar, and Sehun scoffs at his friend.
"At this moment, you choose to fix your collar?" Sehun whispers, and Chanyeol pretends not to hear as he smirks at the two tall boys down there.
"Ever tried a cigarette?" Chanyeol asks, fishing out two Marlboros and handing it to them, while kicking the orange lighter from the chair. "Today's the day, kids. You're never going to regret this." Chanyeol laughs and takes a long drag, eyes mischievously twinkling as he watches the two boys struggle with the cigarettes.
Sehun and Jongin never did regret it.
The first time they had gone out on town together, Chanyeol suggested they go to a bar. Sehun and Jongin had admitted during one of their hidden school lunch times (which is really just them smoking and eating cheap kimbap) that they had never drank alcoholic beverages before.
"My friend Luhan works as a bartender at this cool bar in Itaewon. He'd let me in from the back and teach me how to make drinks. You should try drinking sometimes." He suggested, and the two boys innocently followed him.
"Here, a beer." Was the first thing Chanyeol offered them when they sat down at a booth not far from the bar. It was hidden, so that people won't notice the 3 high school kids sneaking into a bar, but not hidden enough that Luhan can still keep an eye on them from the bar. Luhan insisted it was so that Chanyeol and his friends (Jongdae, Baekhyun, and Kyungsoo) will not be spotted and so that he could make sure they drink responsibly, but in reality, he just wanted to see Chanyeol and his friends get so wasted they can't even stand. It is perfect blackmail material.
Sehun and Jongin hesitates, but sips anyways. The bitter taste slides down their throat and it burns a bit, but Chanyeol would not let them stop until they finish that glass. Jongin likes beer. It's cold in his mouth, and it tastes like bitter soda, but when you swallow it, it turns your throat and stomach all warm. He found it fitted his tastes. Sehun on the other hand, preferred beverages with tastes. Sweet ones like martinis, or sour minty ones like mojitos became his favorite. Chanyeol prefers stronger drinks. He and Jongdae both enjoy Jack Daniels or Southern Comfort more than they do any other drinks. Kyungsoo is more like Sehun, while Baekhyun is like Jongin.
Chanyeol doesn't stop ordering them drinks, and he found that Sehun gets sleepy when drunk. On his 4th glass, Sehun passes out. Jongin on the other hand, is stronger than he admits. He's all smily, happy, and dances wild, and Chanyeol laughs when Jongin steps out and throws up.
"You hit the jackpot, baby!" Was what Chanyeol said when he dragged Jongin back in and seats him next to Sehun.
The next morning, Chanyeol gets twi texts.
Jongin: "best nite evr! 10/10 lets do it again"
Sehun: "my parents caught me drunk off my ass. am not allowed to see both of you again, but who says im gonna do that? luv u guys, lets do it again"
Their band was something created out of boredomness one Saturday. It was something spontaneous coming out of 3 college kids who needed money.
Chanyeol had been sitting on the bank of Han River, smoking his 3rd Marlboro of the day, long legs stretching out on the green grasses. Sehun was on his left, lying down and blinking at the blue sky, with Jongin on his right enjoying a cold canned beer. The sky was cloudless and bright, the color light blue as far as their eye could see, with just the right amount of wind to keep them from sweating, and it was a really nice summer day filled with summer-themed girl group songs and patbingsu.
But Chanyeol preferred ice pops over patbingsu. It's just that both Sehun and Jongin loves patbingsu to death. They'd even make it themselves whenever they get to visit Jongin's small, one-room apartment that he lives in by himself. Chanyeol feels bad sometimes that both Jongin's parents and sister don't care about him, but he's just there to drag the kids around town for adventures and pay their patbingsus, not to care about their personal lives. At least Jongin has his 3 kids Jjanggu, Monggu, and Jjangah--cute puppies that would cling to Chanyeol and Sehun whenever they're around.
It was Sehun who suggested they start the band, after Luhan asked if they knew a band who could fill in on the bar after the old band left.
"I wonder what would happen if we start a band.. We could play at the bar. Take Luhan's offer, play music.. We could make money and stop living like this." Sehun suggests, and Chanyeol turns to look at Sehun.
"What do you mean living like this? Freeloaders at Jongin's apartment? It's amazing. He doesn't even complain."
"But we could use the extra cash, hyung." Jongin jumps in, crumpling the empty can in his hand. "For food. Cigarettes. Plus, if we work at the bar, free drinks?"
Chanyeol thinks about it.
"Are you sure? Can you guys even play an instrument?"
It was magical how Chanyeol never knew that both Jongin and Sehun played musical instruments.
The first night they played without a member was also the night of Chanyeol's birthday. It was winter, it was cold, and Jongin didn't show up.
He had been dragged to Japan by his sister, leaving both Chanyeol and Sehun to themselves, panicking trying to find a bassist. Jongin had left a message saying "I don't know when I'll be back, I'm sorry," but Chanyeol didn't care. It was his birthday and Jongin was supposed to be there and make it fun and drink and smoke and get wasted and damn it, Jongin!, so Chanyeol had left a chain of angry texts to Jongin.
Sehun had bought a cake. A whole red velvet bought at Tiffany's Cake Shop, one of the best bakeries in town. It was hellishly expensive, but Sehun and Jongin didn't mind. They never minded these things. It was for Chanyeol, after all. Money would be nothing if it was for each other. It had a message, a little "Happy birthday, Chanyeol! -Love, Nini and Hunnie" and Jongin had given Sehun half of his first earnings from working as a handbag model for it. Sehun had given all of his tips from working at Minseok's bubble tea shop.
They were so much like family that Chanyeol was hurt when Jongin left without saying anything, and left only a messily written blue post it note on the fridge that morning. Even more because it was his birthday, of all days. Sehun, too, was hurt.
They ended up doing an acoustic session that night.
Sehun left, too, once. His mother had came by Jongin's apartment one day, when Jongin was still in Japan doing God-knows-what with his sister and not replying to Chanyeol's or Sehun's texts, leaving them completely in the dark.
Sehun left quietly, packing half his clothes and following his mother out the door. When Chanyeol steps out of the shower that morning, the apartment was empty.
It wasn't until a month that Chanyeol hears from Jongin. A little email, notifying him that he's left Korea to help his sister out in Japan, and stay there permanently. He didn't specify anything, but he said that Chanyeol's free to stay in the apartment that they've paid for until June next year, but in the meantime asked him to find other places to stay after June is over and the rent runs out.
"...And I realized some things. I realized that I miss you both so much. But living here without you guys for a month and a half has left a deep impression in me. I don't think I could stay with you guys anymore. We could still meet, but I can't stay in the band or live with you guys anymore. I've noticed changes--positive ones--while living here. I'm not saying you guys are negative influences, but I found I liked living like this. No more reckless things. No more feeling guilty. I like being young and not caring about the world, but it's time for me to move on.
I just got accepted into Tokyo University."
Was what Jongin's email said. And it hurt, hurt Chanyeol so much, it hurt him so bad. Jongin was indirectly saying that he was a terrible influence in his life, and Jongin's cutting him off, because he regretted ever meeting him.
Chanyeol doesn't wait until June to move out.
Chanyeol runs into Sehun in April, when the cherry blossom trees are starting to bloom, when the streets are lined with pink petals that fly down from tall trees, when couples are walking together holding hands, and tourists come pouring in. Chanyeol had been studying hard and helping out at Joonmyeon's cafe as the cashier that girls always come by just to get a glimpse of, and life had been going pretty well, no matter how much he missed Jongin and Sehun. He had wished Jongin a happy birthday in January, and had gotten back a cold reply, making him even more certain that Jongin has cut him off and is enjoying Japan. Sehun's birthday is nearing, and he doesn't know what to do.
But he meets Sehun on Han River, when Chanyeol's sitting alone with piles and piles of musical sheets and books about music history and Sehun's there, with his friend who speaks in a weird accent and has so many piercings. He's there. He's real. And he's only 5 meters away.
But they pretend not to notice each other.
And like that, it passes.
Chanyeol thought he's seen Jongin. He's the guy with the vibrant red haired Korean-American girl from his theater club, the guy who has blond hair. Isn't he?
But perhaps it's not. It's only been 2 years since the night Jongin left. It's only been 2 years since the last time he's seen him. Perhaps he's changed, perhaps he hasn't. But Chanyeol's not the only one seeing Jongin.
Sehun sees him when he's with his friend, Zitao, at Namsan tower. Strikingly handsome with blond hair, holding hands with a short-haired girl who looks exactly like him. They had the same smile and laugh, and it looked like they were twins, so Sehun brushed it aside because Jongin doesn't have a twin. He has an older sister who's in Japan with him.
Chanyeol was chatting excitedly with his Japanese student exchange friends about the Japanese music industry when someone taps him on the shoulder.
It was Jongin.
It happened in 5 seconds--Chanyeol rising up from his seat and slapping Jongin across the face, hard enough to leave a lingering red hand mark on his left cheek. His friends gasps from their seat across him, and Jongin staggered back. Chanyeol was red with fury--who wouldn't be?--after seeing Jongin's face. It had been 3 long years. Three. Why now?
Why now, when Chanyeol was starting to get ahold of his life? Why now, when Chanyeol was starting to forget them? Why now?
It happened in 3 seconds--Chanyeol hugging him tight and sobbing like an idiot and Jongin's hands wrapping around Chanyeol and ugly sobs, and Chanyeol can't pull away. Chanyeol is happy. Who wouldn't be? Jongin's back. Jongin's back. Jongin's back, he's back, he's back..
He's back.
And Chanyeol is so happy and and angry and he can't feel anything but Jongin in his arms, Jongin, Jongin, Jongin..
He missed Jongin.
Chanyeol slaps Sehun in under 3 seconds, but it was hard enough to leave a visible red hand mark on his face--just like Jongin. Sehun's eyes well up with tears of pain, shame, and hurt.
Zitao stares at Chanyeol long and hard for a second, as if contemplating whether to fight back for Sehun or keep out of Sehun's personal matters.
Sehun had just passed by Chanyeol and Jongin as if they weren't there, and Chanyeol had grabbed his wrist and slapped him.
All under 3 seconds. Jongdae would be proud.
Sehun deserved it, he was a jerk. He left without saying anything. He left after Jongin left. Chanyeol felt unloved. If he left, would they have reacted the same way?
But he missed Sehun and so he hugs Sehun tight, tight enough that it alarms Zitao when Sehun's face turns red from the lack of oxygen, and Jongin hugs him tighter than that, and for a while, things are good. Things are smooth.
Jongin had come back from Japan a year ago, choosing to continue his studies in Korea after his sister moved back. He dyed his hair blond then, and he had been dating Krystal from Chanyeol's theater club then. They have since broken up when Krystal chose to move back to LA to pursue her studies further. But now Jongin's hair is light brown. And the girl at Namsan tower was his sister, when Jongin took her out for her birthday.
Sehun has made new friends. He has met Zitao, a Chinese student studying martial arts. Despite his tough looks, he is a girl at heart who enjoys touring Korea's most romantic spots with Sehun. They had been living together ever since Sehun left Chanyeol.
While Chanyeol? He was himself. He's always been himself. He dyed his hair red, brown, black, he played drums, guitar, bass, piano, he met Yuta, Miyuki, and he baked cakes and danced and danced and sang all to try to cover up for the empty space both Jongin and Sehun left in his heart. But he's never filled it. It's always been for Jongin and Sehun.
And now that they've filled it back in, Chanyeol's never felt more complete.
Though they know they're bad for each other, they love each other. Chanyeol realizes that Jongin and Sehun is all he'll ever need.
And meeting them was the best thing that ever happened to him.
"Did you guys ever regret meeting me?" Chanyeol asks, looking up to the cloudless blue sky. The green, dewy grass feels cozy underneath him. Sehun and Jongin on his left and right keeping him warm, bodies touching in snug sweaters and hoodies, huddled up on a cold, Spring morning.
"Nope. Never did."
"I never regretted it either."
"Why not? I was bad. I was terrible. I made you smoke and drink. I didn't tell you things. I was just there. I took you out on dangerous adventures and I compromised your lives. I was bad."
"Was."
"Plus, hyung, no regrets were available even when I wanted to regret it."
Title: No Regrets Available
Pairing(s): Chanyeol/Kai/Sehun
Rating: PG-13
Warning(s): mentions of cigarette and alcohol brands lmao where do i know these things? i'm a bad girl (nappeun_gijibae.mp3). unbeta'd. all mistakes are me.
Length: 2890w
Summary: Just when Chanyeol thinks he knows Sehun and Jongin, they leave, and he doesn't realize how much he loves them until it hurts.
Author's note: Uhhh enjoy this short fic
Chanyeol first met them when he was still in high school, when he was a dork who had ears too big that they peeked out of his hair (his ears are still big, but he likes to think he doesn't look like a dork anymore). Though he looked like a dork, he was a rebel, one who never wore his tie or black colored shoes, one who modifies his pants to be as tight as possible, one who never tucks in his shirt.
Sehun was a quiet junior, but a handsome one, one that the girls in Chanyeol's class always talked about. They talked about his light brown hair and how he had perfect, strikingly handsome features. They talked about his handsome Chinese father, and his supermodel Korean mother, and his brother who was a trainee at SM Entertainment. The handsomeness was genetic, it seemed.
Then there was Jongin, the junior plucked straight out of a rebel group. He liked to unbutton the top button of his shirt, he liked his ties loose, and he liked to wear hats--even if it was forbidden at school. He was a handsome bad boy--and he still is. He had that smile, that sexiness, that cuteness, and every girl in every class has liked him at one point of their high school lives. His parents were never known, but a girl in Chanyeol's class did find out that his older sister lives in Japan as a model. The smile was definitely genetic.
Chanyeol was never interested in bullying juniors, unlike Baekhyun and Jongdae who enjoyed bullying and intimidating juniors greatly. He met Sehun and Jongin when he was hiding away in a corner of the school where teachers rarely ever come by, sitting atop an old table, long legs rested comfortably on the head of the old chairs, a cigarette in his left hand and his phone on the right. Jongin had been dragging Sehun around and they were laughing until they spotted Chanyeol smoking.
Chanyeol turns his head and spots the flower boys.
"So you're Sehun and Jongin?" Chanyeol asks after calling them over and having them sit on the floor beneath him. Bullying is surprisingly fun, no wonder Baekhyun and Jongdae liked it so much. It was a form of revenge for how they were treated when they were juniors like Jongin and Sehun. It was somewhat rewarding to have someone be so scared of you, so intimidated, and just knowing that you have power over them, it was enjoyable to Chanyeol.
"Yeah.." Jongin answered, fixing his collar, and Sehun scoffs at his friend.
"At this moment, you choose to fix your collar?" Sehun whispers, and Chanyeol pretends not to hear as he smirks at the two tall boys down there.
"Ever tried a cigarette?" Chanyeol asks, fishing out two Marlboros and handing it to them, while kicking the orange lighter from the chair. "Today's the day, kids. You're never going to regret this." Chanyeol laughs and takes a long drag, eyes mischievously twinkling as he watches the two boys struggle with the cigarettes.
Sehun and Jongin never did regret it.
The first time they had gone out on town together, Chanyeol suggested they go to a bar. Sehun and Jongin had admitted during one of their hidden school lunch times (which is really just them smoking and eating cheap kimbap) that they had never drank alcoholic beverages before.
"My friend Luhan works as a bartender at this cool bar in Itaewon. He'd let me in from the back and teach me how to make drinks. You should try drinking sometimes." He suggested, and the two boys innocently followed him.
"Here, a beer." Was the first thing Chanyeol offered them when they sat down at a booth not far from the bar. It was hidden, so that people won't notice the 3 high school kids sneaking into a bar, but not hidden enough that Luhan can still keep an eye on them from the bar. Luhan insisted it was so that Chanyeol and his friends (Jongdae, Baekhyun, and Kyungsoo) will not be spotted and so that he could make sure they drink responsibly, but in reality, he just wanted to see Chanyeol and his friends get so wasted they can't even stand. It is perfect blackmail material.
Sehun and Jongin hesitates, but sips anyways. The bitter taste slides down their throat and it burns a bit, but Chanyeol would not let them stop until they finish that glass. Jongin likes beer. It's cold in his mouth, and it tastes like bitter soda, but when you swallow it, it turns your throat and stomach all warm. He found it fitted his tastes. Sehun on the other hand, preferred beverages with tastes. Sweet ones like martinis, or sour minty ones like mojitos became his favorite. Chanyeol prefers stronger drinks. He and Jongdae both enjoy Jack Daniels or Southern Comfort more than they do any other drinks. Kyungsoo is more like Sehun, while Baekhyun is like Jongin.
Chanyeol doesn't stop ordering them drinks, and he found that Sehun gets sleepy when drunk. On his 4th glass, Sehun passes out. Jongin on the other hand, is stronger than he admits. He's all smily, happy, and dances wild, and Chanyeol laughs when Jongin steps out and throws up.
"You hit the jackpot, baby!" Was what Chanyeol said when he dragged Jongin back in and seats him next to Sehun.
The next morning, Chanyeol gets twi texts.
Jongin: "best nite evr! 10/10 lets do it again"
Sehun: "my parents caught me drunk off my ass. am not allowed to see both of you again, but who says im gonna do that? luv u guys, lets do it again"
Their band was something created out of boredomness one Saturday. It was something spontaneous coming out of 3 college kids who needed money.
Chanyeol had been sitting on the bank of Han River, smoking his 3rd Marlboro of the day, long legs stretching out on the green grasses. Sehun was on his left, lying down and blinking at the blue sky, with Jongin on his right enjoying a cold canned beer. The sky was cloudless and bright, the color light blue as far as their eye could see, with just the right amount of wind to keep them from sweating, and it was a really nice summer day filled with summer-themed girl group songs and patbingsu.
But Chanyeol preferred ice pops over patbingsu. It's just that both Sehun and Jongin loves patbingsu to death. They'd even make it themselves whenever they get to visit Jongin's small, one-room apartment that he lives in by himself. Chanyeol feels bad sometimes that both Jongin's parents and sister don't care about him, but he's just there to drag the kids around town for adventures and pay their patbingsus, not to care about their personal lives. At least Jongin has his 3 kids Jjanggu, Monggu, and Jjangah--cute puppies that would cling to Chanyeol and Sehun whenever they're around.
It was Sehun who suggested they start the band, after Luhan asked if they knew a band who could fill in on the bar after the old band left.
"I wonder what would happen if we start a band.. We could play at the bar. Take Luhan's offer, play music.. We could make money and stop living like this." Sehun suggests, and Chanyeol turns to look at Sehun.
"What do you mean living like this? Freeloaders at Jongin's apartment? It's amazing. He doesn't even complain."
"But we could use the extra cash, hyung." Jongin jumps in, crumpling the empty can in his hand. "For food. Cigarettes. Plus, if we work at the bar, free drinks?"
Chanyeol thinks about it.
"Are you sure? Can you guys even play an instrument?"
It was magical how Chanyeol never knew that both Jongin and Sehun played musical instruments.
The first night they played without a member was also the night of Chanyeol's birthday. It was winter, it was cold, and Jongin didn't show up.
He had been dragged to Japan by his sister, leaving both Chanyeol and Sehun to themselves, panicking trying to find a bassist. Jongin had left a message saying "I don't know when I'll be back, I'm sorry," but Chanyeol didn't care. It was his birthday and Jongin was supposed to be there and make it fun and drink and smoke and get wasted and damn it, Jongin!, so Chanyeol had left a chain of angry texts to Jongin.
Sehun had bought a cake. A whole red velvet bought at Tiffany's Cake Shop, one of the best bakeries in town. It was hellishly expensive, but Sehun and Jongin didn't mind. They never minded these things. It was for Chanyeol, after all. Money would be nothing if it was for each other. It had a message, a little "Happy birthday, Chanyeol! -Love, Nini and Hunnie" and Jongin had given Sehun half of his first earnings from working as a handbag model for it. Sehun had given all of his tips from working at Minseok's bubble tea shop.
They were so much like family that Chanyeol was hurt when Jongin left without saying anything, and left only a messily written blue post it note on the fridge that morning. Even more because it was his birthday, of all days. Sehun, too, was hurt.
They ended up doing an acoustic session that night.
Sehun left, too, once. His mother had came by Jongin's apartment one day, when Jongin was still in Japan doing God-knows-what with his sister and not replying to Chanyeol's or Sehun's texts, leaving them completely in the dark.
Sehun left quietly, packing half his clothes and following his mother out the door. When Chanyeol steps out of the shower that morning, the apartment was empty.
It wasn't until a month that Chanyeol hears from Jongin. A little email, notifying him that he's left Korea to help his sister out in Japan, and stay there permanently. He didn't specify anything, but he said that Chanyeol's free to stay in the apartment that they've paid for until June next year, but in the meantime asked him to find other places to stay after June is over and the rent runs out.
"...And I realized some things. I realized that I miss you both so much. But living here without you guys for a month and a half has left a deep impression in me. I don't think I could stay with you guys anymore. We could still meet, but I can't stay in the band or live with you guys anymore. I've noticed changes--positive ones--while living here. I'm not saying you guys are negative influences, but I found I liked living like this. No more reckless things. No more feeling guilty. I like being young and not caring about the world, but it's time for me to move on.
I just got accepted into Tokyo University."
Was what Jongin's email said. And it hurt, hurt Chanyeol so much, it hurt him so bad. Jongin was indirectly saying that he was a terrible influence in his life, and Jongin's cutting him off, because he regretted ever meeting him.
Chanyeol doesn't wait until June to move out.
Chanyeol runs into Sehun in April, when the cherry blossom trees are starting to bloom, when the streets are lined with pink petals that fly down from tall trees, when couples are walking together holding hands, and tourists come pouring in. Chanyeol had been studying hard and helping out at Joonmyeon's cafe as the cashier that girls always come by just to get a glimpse of, and life had been going pretty well, no matter how much he missed Jongin and Sehun. He had wished Jongin a happy birthday in January, and had gotten back a cold reply, making him even more certain that Jongin has cut him off and is enjoying Japan. Sehun's birthday is nearing, and he doesn't know what to do.
But he meets Sehun on Han River, when Chanyeol's sitting alone with piles and piles of musical sheets and books about music history and Sehun's there, with his friend who speaks in a weird accent and has so many piercings. He's there. He's real. And he's only 5 meters away.
But they pretend not to notice each other.
And like that, it passes.
Chanyeol thought he's seen Jongin. He's the guy with the vibrant red haired Korean-American girl from his theater club, the guy who has blond hair. Isn't he?
But perhaps it's not. It's only been 2 years since the night Jongin left. It's only been 2 years since the last time he's seen him. Perhaps he's changed, perhaps he hasn't. But Chanyeol's not the only one seeing Jongin.
Sehun sees him when he's with his friend, Zitao, at Namsan tower. Strikingly handsome with blond hair, holding hands with a short-haired girl who looks exactly like him. They had the same smile and laugh, and it looked like they were twins, so Sehun brushed it aside because Jongin doesn't have a twin. He has an older sister who's in Japan with him.
Chanyeol was chatting excitedly with his Japanese student exchange friends about the Japanese music industry when someone taps him on the shoulder.
It was Jongin.
It happened in 5 seconds--Chanyeol rising up from his seat and slapping Jongin across the face, hard enough to leave a lingering red hand mark on his left cheek. His friends gasps from their seat across him, and Jongin staggered back. Chanyeol was red with fury--who wouldn't be?--after seeing Jongin's face. It had been 3 long years. Three. Why now?
Why now, when Chanyeol was starting to get ahold of his life? Why now, when Chanyeol was starting to forget them? Why now?
It happened in 3 seconds--Chanyeol hugging him tight and sobbing like an idiot and Jongin's hands wrapping around Chanyeol and ugly sobs, and Chanyeol can't pull away. Chanyeol is happy. Who wouldn't be? Jongin's back. Jongin's back. Jongin's back, he's back, he's back..
He's back.
And Chanyeol is so happy and and angry and he can't feel anything but Jongin in his arms, Jongin, Jongin, Jongin..
He missed Jongin.
Chanyeol slaps Sehun in under 3 seconds, but it was hard enough to leave a visible red hand mark on his face--just like Jongin. Sehun's eyes well up with tears of pain, shame, and hurt.
Zitao stares at Chanyeol long and hard for a second, as if contemplating whether to fight back for Sehun or keep out of Sehun's personal matters.
Sehun had just passed by Chanyeol and Jongin as if they weren't there, and Chanyeol had grabbed his wrist and slapped him.
All under 3 seconds. Jongdae would be proud.
Sehun deserved it, he was a jerk. He left without saying anything. He left after Jongin left. Chanyeol felt unloved. If he left, would they have reacted the same way?
But he missed Sehun and so he hugs Sehun tight, tight enough that it alarms Zitao when Sehun's face turns red from the lack of oxygen, and Jongin hugs him tighter than that, and for a while, things are good. Things are smooth.
Jongin had come back from Japan a year ago, choosing to continue his studies in Korea after his sister moved back. He dyed his hair blond then, and he had been dating Krystal from Chanyeol's theater club then. They have since broken up when Krystal chose to move back to LA to pursue her studies further. But now Jongin's hair is light brown. And the girl at Namsan tower was his sister, when Jongin took her out for her birthday.
Sehun has made new friends. He has met Zitao, a Chinese student studying martial arts. Despite his tough looks, he is a girl at heart who enjoys touring Korea's most romantic spots with Sehun. They had been living together ever since Sehun left Chanyeol.
While Chanyeol? He was himself. He's always been himself. He dyed his hair red, brown, black, he played drums, guitar, bass, piano, he met Yuta, Miyuki, and he baked cakes and danced and danced and sang all to try to cover up for the empty space both Jongin and Sehun left in his heart. But he's never filled it. It's always been for Jongin and Sehun.
And now that they've filled it back in, Chanyeol's never felt more complete.
Though they know they're bad for each other, they love each other. Chanyeol realizes that Jongin and Sehun is all he'll ever need.
And meeting them was the best thing that ever happened to him.
"Did you guys ever regret meeting me?" Chanyeol asks, looking up to the cloudless blue sky. The green, dewy grass feels cozy underneath him. Sehun and Jongin on his left and right keeping him warm, bodies touching in snug sweaters and hoodies, huddled up on a cold, Spring morning.
"Nope. Never did."
"I never regretted it either."
"Why not? I was bad. I was terrible. I made you smoke and drink. I didn't tell you things. I was just there. I took you out on dangerous adventures and I compromised your lives. I was bad."
"Was."
"Plus, hyung, no regrets were available even when I wanted to regret it."