Comments | yasraeh_cixot: Yep, it's a poorly formatted script.

yasraeh_cixot

Yep, it's a poorly formatted script.

Apr 18, 2011 23:24

INT. bennett's room ( Read more... )

writing

Comments 8

Want more! wihtgar April 19 2011, 11:04:49 UTC

Please.

Re: Want more! yasraeh_cixot April 19 2011, 11:07:19 UTC

And once I figure out where the hell it's going, there will be more.
It has to be 15 minutes, it's for class.

anonymous April 19 2011, 11:18:40 UTC

I think this shows promise. Maybe I'm reading to much into it this, but I got a strong impression of the man being a Thomas Riker/Tom Paris like character. Lo I thought was clearly techno empathic who has suffered trauma. But like I said, probably reading too much into it.

yasraeh_cixot April 19 2011, 11:25:59 UTC

I hadn't thought of it that way, but yeah, Bennett is kind of like Thomas Riker. If you've seen Firefly, think Simon, but an arse-hole. You're exactly right about Lo. Again, think River from Firefly (yeah, it's kind of derivative).

Basically the plan is that Bennett's got some sort of agenda and is "helping" Lo for his own personal gain. I don't know, maybe he wants to harvest her crazy blood or something.

ext_516107 April 19 2011, 12:12:25 UTC

Maybe you could start it of that way but then twist it around so that Lo regains her memories / recovers from her trauma and is revealed to be using Bennett for her own purposes, which may or may not be evil ?

yasraeh_cixot April 19 2011, 12:22:06 UTC

I was going to start it out with Bennett seeming like a decent guy, but I think I like your idea better. I don't know how I'm going to make it into only a 15 minute script though.

ext_516107 April 19 2011, 14:27:28 UTC

I can't think how you would fit it into 15 minutes either. At least, not without it sounding wanky & contrived. I'll think it overat work tommorow, see what I come up with, if that helps ?

yasraeh_cixot April 19 2011, 20:26:00 UTC

Absolutely, help is definitely desired.