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oh snippity snappity~
continuation of You're My Worst Nightmare
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You're My Worst Nightmare
One Sided Love Hurts More The Second Time Around
A violent Toshiya. This didn't feel like a prank anymore. But then, who was this short blonde old fart? And why shouldn't Kaoru be an ass? He didn't know these people well enough. And he certainly wouldn't play their games.
"I don't know what the hell you're on to tell me I have a relationship, much less a gay one, but you better shut the fuck up right now." Kaoru gritted his teeth, furrowing his
brows and thinning his eyes at Kyo. "Next time you speak to me in that tone, I demand you address me as -san, I don't care how much older you are than I am, ya fucking fogy!"
"Who the hell do you think you are all of a sudden, Kaoru?" Kyo growled, rolling his eyes and walking toward the bedroom door. "You know what? Fuck you, you asshole. There's no way in hell I'm going to call you Kaoru-san anymore. I've known you for eleven fucking years. If you want your band to call you -san, start a new one, and we'll find a new guitarist," he hissed. Threats left his vocal chords like that any time any of them got in arguments, but of course none of them ever left the band, and they probably never would. They survived as one whole band for over a decade, it wasn't likely they'd be quitting, especially not from all their endearing struggles together; they had worked too hard.
~::~
Kyo followed Toshiya right out the front door only to almost trip over the bassist, who sat on the porch, his face in his hands, pouting silently.
"...Toshiya?" The vocalist questioned softly, dropping down next to him with a sigh. "You okay?" He already knew the answer: Toshiya honestly loved Kaoru, and for the guitarist to say things like that obviously hit him hard. He got only a small sniff in return.
Abruptly Toshiya stood up. "I'm getting my stuff and leaving. Will you drive me to my place?" Once Kyo nodded, Toshiya went back inside. A lot of his clothes found its way at Kaoru's since he had been staying there, but not much else so he simply went into Kaoru's room and started grabbing all of his clothes, putting them in a pile on the bed to eventually carry them all out to Kyo's car.
~::~
Both these nuts pissed Kaoru off. None of what they said made sense either; were they even listening to him? Wasn't it apparent he was in the right? Die would agree with him, at least he was the same age and could reason better than an immature bassist.
Speaking of...
Kaoru stopped his mental ranting to watch the stooped figure. The clothes didn't look familiar; they couldn't of been his own. And if they were Toshiya's.... This was Toshiya's house. But didn't Toshiya share an apartment with Kyo because they were tight on cash? Nothing made sense and Kaoru's head hurt.
He lowered back onto his bed.
"...Toshiya-kun? Is this your house? What happened to sharing one with Kyo? Will you please stop lying to me." The tone in his voice softened and his aggressive body language lightened. All he wanted was the truth, that and these stupid sharpie designs off. Behaving like a pissed off baboon solved nothing.
Kaoru picked up a black shirt embellishing "DESTROY" on it and held it out to the taller male. "I think this is yours. I'd never wear something so weird."
Toshiya halted. Chocolate eyes narrowed then widened. "...This is your... Wait, what?" Distant glimpses of that cramped apartment resurfaced; he had shared an apartment with Kyo, but that was a long, long time ago. Why would Kaoru bring that up now?
"Kaoru..." He started carefully, taking the black shirt from him and looking down at it, clutching it tightly. He loved that shirt almost as much as Kaoru did, but only because the guitarist wore it so much, and it looked good on him.
"This is your shirt... You wear it twice a week." A wry laugh betrayed how awkward Toshiya felt.
And then it clicked.
Until that very moment, he hadn't even considered Kaoru might have lost his memory, but now he was starting to suspect it as a possibility. After all, it was the only logical explanation. Why else would he have forgotten his own tattoos, and his own house, and even his relationship with Toshiya. Finally, the bassist was beginning to understand.
Setting the shirt on the bed, the lighter haired band member slipped his arms around Kaoru's waist, pulling him close. Kaoru might not be comfortable with hugging, but for Toshiya, it was pure instinct. "You forgot, didn't you? You forgot about getting your tattoos and... And us being together..." His voice trailed off, and he looked down, then shook his head. "You don't remember being with me at all? What year do you think it is, Kaoru?" He could tell that however much of his memory was gone, it was at least a few years - for him to be uncomfortable with hugging and to think that he barely knew Toshiya and Kyo, it must have been a long time.
~::~
The change in Toshiya's behavior unsettled the guitarist. The close contact and affectionate touches didn't help. And now what the other was blabbing. It was all too much. He wanted to push Toshiya away, but if he did, he'd be pushing the answers he needed with him.
In as normal a voice as he could muster, "I didn't forget anything. How could I? Cage hit top ten this Monday! We're getting to be big stars now."
It felt good to say those words. Majors. Rockstars. They reached the wrungs of the ladder. The elation though did not last long. The current situation was too daunting to ignore. He'd let Toshiya keep talking. Hopefully it'd clear up more than add to the murkiness.
"...What happened last night? I remember the celebration bash and Yoshiki-sama making a speech, then.... What'd we do?" Dark orbs peered into slightly lighter ones for answers, for insincerity. As much as he searched, he couldn't find any.
Toshiya shook his head, slowly pulling away from Kaoru and sitting on the bed-next to the DESTROY shirt, picking it back up-shaking his head. "No... The Cage single was release in 1999... Late May. That was..." He paused to do the math in his head for a second before returning back to Kaoru. "That was eight years ago. It's 2007 now. We just released The Marrow of a Bone... Remember?" He looked up at the other, trying to figure out if it was ringing any bells in Kaoru's head, but it didn't seem to be.
Well manicured fingers played with the fabric. They turned the shirt over to trace the English letters on the front. No matter how many times Kaoru washed it, it‘d always smell of him, that inviting, calming smell that made Toshiya feel at home.
The taller male stood again, going over to the guitarist once more, brushing his fingers through the other's dark locks of hair. A small smile faintly drew on his lips. "So you're not just doing this as a really mean way to break up with me, right? You really forgot? In that case..." He thought for a moment, a lingering sigh following. "That means you forgot how to play all of our songs... And you forgot all about touring in America and everything... That's why you wouldn't remember getting your tattoos, or being with me... Or anything..." He looked down, taking Kaoru's hands and exhaling, seemingly forgetting that the other was uncomfortable with that at the moment. "I'm sorry I pushed you, then. I thought you were just being an ass and breaking up with me," he said regretfully, lacing their fingers together. "So, you're not mad?"
~::~
Letting Toshiya act as he pleased seemed the best way of getting answers. Sitting silently and trying to digest everything seemed best too, however hard it was. 1999, 2007, it didn't feel right. Mero oufu bonu?
When the younger male ceased talking, Kaoru spoke up. "America? Yeah I remember," he smiled, "the food was too big and it was WAY too hot. Yoshiki-sama should have kept his studio here."
A few things clicked here and there but nothing else. It hurt his head trying to remember something that never happened. He wanted Toshiya to fess up with this joke. He wanted Toshiya to stop mentioning a non existent relationship.
A heavy sigh left semi chapped lips. Fidgety eyes glanced down at their laced fingers. Under the ink, his skin didn't look as elastic as it should have. Permanent calluses dotted his fingers. They itched but didn't irritate like fresh calluses, something comforting about them, but the invasion made them itch. He didn't like it. Experienced fingers slipped away from Toshiya's and laced with their own.
"You still didn't tell me what happened last night after the celebration bash..."
Toshiya avoided his leader's gaze almost guiltily. "Last night, you and I hung around here all night and watched a movie, and then got in a fight. That's why I was sleeping on the couch instead of your bed. And I said touring in America, not recording. You wouldn't even remember us touring in Europe..." He breathed loudly, flopping back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling with an almost sad, rueful gleam in his eyes. If Kaoru didn't remember any of that, then he obviously didn't remember them being together, but that didn't change the way Toshiya felt about him, and he suddenly felt disheartened, knowing one sided love again. One sided not because he couldn't love him back, but because he didn't remember ever being with him in the first place.
continuation of You're My Worst Nightmare
Go here>>>>
You're My Worst Nightmare
One Sided Love Hurts More The Second Time Around
A violent Toshiya. This didn't feel like a prank anymore. But then, who was this short blonde old fart? And why shouldn't Kaoru be an ass? He didn't know these people well enough. And he certainly wouldn't play their games.
"I don't know what the hell you're on to tell me I have a relationship, much less a gay one, but you better shut the fuck up right now." Kaoru gritted his teeth, furrowing his
brows and thinning his eyes at Kyo. "Next time you speak to me in that tone, I demand you address me as -san, I don't care how much older you are than I am, ya fucking fogy!"
"Who the hell do you think you are all of a sudden, Kaoru?" Kyo growled, rolling his eyes and walking toward the bedroom door. "You know what? Fuck you, you asshole. There's no way in hell I'm going to call you Kaoru-san anymore. I've known you for eleven fucking years. If you want your band to call you -san, start a new one, and we'll find a new guitarist," he hissed. Threats left his vocal chords like that any time any of them got in arguments, but of course none of them ever left the band, and they probably never would. They survived as one whole band for over a decade, it wasn't likely they'd be quitting, especially not from all their endearing struggles together; they had worked too hard.
~::~
Kyo followed Toshiya right out the front door only to almost trip over the bassist, who sat on the porch, his face in his hands, pouting silently.
"...Toshiya?" The vocalist questioned softly, dropping down next to him with a sigh. "You okay?" He already knew the answer: Toshiya honestly loved Kaoru, and for the guitarist to say things like that obviously hit him hard. He got only a small sniff in return.
Abruptly Toshiya stood up. "I'm getting my stuff and leaving. Will you drive me to my place?" Once Kyo nodded, Toshiya went back inside. A lot of his clothes found its way at Kaoru's since he had been staying there, but not much else so he simply went into Kaoru's room and started grabbing all of his clothes, putting them in a pile on the bed to eventually carry them all out to Kyo's car.
~::~
Both these nuts pissed Kaoru off. None of what they said made sense either; were they even listening to him? Wasn't it apparent he was in the right? Die would agree with him, at least he was the same age and could reason better than an immature bassist.
Speaking of...
Kaoru stopped his mental ranting to watch the stooped figure. The clothes didn't look familiar; they couldn't of been his own. And if they were Toshiya's.... This was Toshiya's house. But didn't Toshiya share an apartment with Kyo because they were tight on cash? Nothing made sense and Kaoru's head hurt.
He lowered back onto his bed.
"...Toshiya-kun? Is this your house? What happened to sharing one with Kyo? Will you please stop lying to me." The tone in his voice softened and his aggressive body language lightened. All he wanted was the truth, that and these stupid sharpie designs off. Behaving like a pissed off baboon solved nothing.
Kaoru picked up a black shirt embellishing "DESTROY" on it and held it out to the taller male. "I think this is yours. I'd never wear something so weird."
Toshiya halted. Chocolate eyes narrowed then widened. "...This is your... Wait, what?" Distant glimpses of that cramped apartment resurfaced; he had shared an apartment with Kyo, but that was a long, long time ago. Why would Kaoru bring that up now?
"Kaoru..." He started carefully, taking the black shirt from him and looking down at it, clutching it tightly. He loved that shirt almost as much as Kaoru did, but only because the guitarist wore it so much, and it looked good on him.
"This is your shirt... You wear it twice a week." A wry laugh betrayed how awkward Toshiya felt.
And then it clicked.
Until that very moment, he hadn't even considered Kaoru might have lost his memory, but now he was starting to suspect it as a possibility. After all, it was the only logical explanation. Why else would he have forgotten his own tattoos, and his own house, and even his relationship with Toshiya. Finally, the bassist was beginning to understand.
Setting the shirt on the bed, the lighter haired band member slipped his arms around Kaoru's waist, pulling him close. Kaoru might not be comfortable with hugging, but for Toshiya, it was pure instinct. "You forgot, didn't you? You forgot about getting your tattoos and... And us being together..." His voice trailed off, and he looked down, then shook his head. "You don't remember being with me at all? What year do you think it is, Kaoru?" He could tell that however much of his memory was gone, it was at least a few years - for him to be uncomfortable with hugging and to think that he barely knew Toshiya and Kyo, it must have been a long time.
~::~
The change in Toshiya's behavior unsettled the guitarist. The close contact and affectionate touches didn't help. And now what the other was blabbing. It was all too much. He wanted to push Toshiya away, but if he did, he'd be pushing the answers he needed with him.
In as normal a voice as he could muster, "I didn't forget anything. How could I? Cage hit top ten this Monday! We're getting to be big stars now."
It felt good to say those words. Majors. Rockstars. They reached the wrungs of the ladder. The elation though did not last long. The current situation was too daunting to ignore. He'd let Toshiya keep talking. Hopefully it'd clear up more than add to the murkiness.
"...What happened last night? I remember the celebration bash and Yoshiki-sama making a speech, then.... What'd we do?" Dark orbs peered into slightly lighter ones for answers, for insincerity. As much as he searched, he couldn't find any.
Toshiya shook his head, slowly pulling away from Kaoru and sitting on the bed-next to the DESTROY shirt, picking it back up-shaking his head. "No... The Cage single was release in 1999... Late May. That was..." He paused to do the math in his head for a second before returning back to Kaoru. "That was eight years ago. It's 2007 now. We just released The Marrow of a Bone... Remember?" He looked up at the other, trying to figure out if it was ringing any bells in Kaoru's head, but it didn't seem to be.
Well manicured fingers played with the fabric. They turned the shirt over to trace the English letters on the front. No matter how many times Kaoru washed it, it‘d always smell of him, that inviting, calming smell that made Toshiya feel at home.
The taller male stood again, going over to the guitarist once more, brushing his fingers through the other's dark locks of hair. A small smile faintly drew on his lips. "So you're not just doing this as a really mean way to break up with me, right? You really forgot? In that case..." He thought for a moment, a lingering sigh following. "That means you forgot how to play all of our songs... And you forgot all about touring in America and everything... That's why you wouldn't remember getting your tattoos, or being with me... Or anything..." He looked down, taking Kaoru's hands and exhaling, seemingly forgetting that the other was uncomfortable with that at the moment. "I'm sorry I pushed you, then. I thought you were just being an ass and breaking up with me," he said regretfully, lacing their fingers together. "So, you're not mad?"
~::~
Letting Toshiya act as he pleased seemed the best way of getting answers. Sitting silently and trying to digest everything seemed best too, however hard it was. 1999, 2007, it didn't feel right. Mero oufu bonu?
When the younger male ceased talking, Kaoru spoke up. "America? Yeah I remember," he smiled, "the food was too big and it was WAY too hot. Yoshiki-sama should have kept his studio here."
A few things clicked here and there but nothing else. It hurt his head trying to remember something that never happened. He wanted Toshiya to fess up with this joke. He wanted Toshiya to stop mentioning a non existent relationship.
A heavy sigh left semi chapped lips. Fidgety eyes glanced down at their laced fingers. Under the ink, his skin didn't look as elastic as it should have. Permanent calluses dotted his fingers. They itched but didn't irritate like fresh calluses, something comforting about them, but the invasion made them itch. He didn't like it. Experienced fingers slipped away from Toshiya's and laced with their own.
"You still didn't tell me what happened last night after the celebration bash..."
Toshiya avoided his leader's gaze almost guiltily. "Last night, you and I hung around here all night and watched a movie, and then got in a fight. That's why I was sleeping on the couch instead of your bed. And I said touring in America, not recording. You wouldn't even remember us touring in Europe..." He breathed loudly, flopping back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling with an almost sad, rueful gleam in his eyes. If Kaoru didn't remember any of that, then he obviously didn't remember them being together, but that didn't change the way Toshiya felt about him, and he suddenly felt disheartened, knowing one sided love again. One sided not because he couldn't love him back, but because he didn't remember ever being with him in the first place.