Alphabet Soup (Part 6/8)
Title: Alphabet Soup (Part 6/8)
Characters: Kate, Kate/Jack
Summary: A series of drabbles. Kate’s POV. Post The End
AN: Again I apologize for the delay in posting this part, finals and work and all the crap in between kept me from posting this :\
Pills
She cannot sleep. It has been a week since they left the island, a week of sleepless nights; nightmares keeping her up brought the blinding darkness. She hears Claire crying in the bed across hers with her back turned to Kate and her shoulders shaking.
In the morning she takes awalk to a nearby drugstore. She finds what she is looking for and makes her way to the cashier. She waits in line as the pharmacist attends to the customer in front of her. All it takes is for him to utter the first syllable of the medicine to make her drop the little box she is crying and run for the door.
Oxycodone.
Questions
They all have them and they throw them at her relentlessly. The reporters' are the easiest, surprisingly. They ask her how it feels to survive a second plane crash and she just rolls her eyes. Soon there are theories and conspiracies and elaborate government plots to kill the original Oceanic passengers.
The questions that Hurley's mother throws at her are harder. Kate is grateful that Desmond had visited her with that that Hurley is alive and the new Jacob - not all that news she was grateful for, though. But she is grateful that she calm the woman down and reassure her about her son.
Walt passes by a few times - he is going to school in LA - happy to see a few familiar faces but devastated about the news of the rest.
Sun's mother calls her once and although Kate knows the answers to her questions, somehow, she finds the words refusing to leave he lips.
The hardest questions to answer come from a three year old boy, with confused blue eyes and a quivering lower lip. He wants to know why Kate left him, if she does not live him anymore. He wants to know why he has two mommies now. He wants to know where his uncle Jack has gone too, and if he can be back in time to read to him tonight.
He holds on to Kate's hand, pulls on it gently and looks up at her, "will we see him again?"
Regret
"anything good on TV tonight?" she asks Claire from the kitchen as he puts away the last of the dishes after dinner. Claire browses through the channels and eventually pauses at one channel "do you like costume dramas?"
"Which one?" Kate asks, drying off her hands and walking over to take a seat on the couch across from Claire, who flips to the guide and answers, "Miss Austen Regrets, heard if it?"
Kate has not heard of it. And to be honest, although they end up watching it, she has no clue what happens in it. She was too busy watching another version of Miss Austen Regrets, Kate Austen.
She regrets every time she had lied to him, every minute she could have spent with him that she chose to spend away from him, every time she turned her back and walked away from him, every time he walked away and she could not find the courage to go after him.
She regrets letting him walk away after he told her he loved her. She regrets turning her back on him when he needed her most, letting him drown his demons in alcohol and pills instead of in her.
She regrets pushing him away when he made her feel whole when she needed nothing but him. She regrets allege wasted chances, all the cold shoulders, and all the stubborn breaks. She regrets every wall she threw in his face and every lost opportunity to chip away at his.
She regrets not telling him she loved him every day, every minute and with every breath she took.