It's so sweet. I love the idea of Seifer, Zell and the whole "first sex" scenario. It seems hard to portray because of their dynamics, but you did it really well. I love the part about Coming to some sort of mutual agreement, they each set to work on their own clothing, knowing it'd get done a helluva lot quicker that way. XD
The only thing was how at the end it changed from past to present tense, throwing off the pace a bit. Otherwise I thought it was a very nice take at "first sex"!! Sometimes vague sex is way sexier than detailed sex too. :D
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It's so sweet. I love the idea of Seifer, Zell and the whole "first sex" scenario. It seems hard to portray because of their dynamics, but you did it really well. I love the part about Coming to some sort of mutual agreement, they each set to work on their own clothing, knowing it'd get done a helluva lot quicker that way. XD
The only thing was how at the end it changed from past to present tense, throwing off the pace a bit. Otherwise I thought it was a very nice take at "first sex"!! Sometimes vague sex is way sexier than detailed sex too. :D
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