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[xxoxlaurenxoxx]

I'm upset that we didn't get to share the experience together. I'm upset that we couldn't. I'm upset that instead of choosing to voluntarily try and share it with me, you chose instead to share it instagram. I wasn't priority on your list to share it with

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[xxoxlaurenxoxx]

This is silly. I can't belive I was mad. I'm just happy for him. I just didn't want to be forgotton. I never want him to forget me. I'm afraid that he will forget me. Find someone knew and forget me. I'm afraid I'm not going to make him happy I'm afraid I"m going to see that and try too haard. I'm afraid I"ll become like my mother, and he'll become like me and he'll be repulsed at everything I do, but he won't leave me. I'll know he's unhappy and he will too but we'll stay together unhappy.
I just want to make him happy. I want the happiness and light to shoot out of him and for me to see it, and not alawys be searching for it. I want it to come naturally. I want to see it but not really latch onto it. Be thankful for it and continue on. Don'tdwell on it. It's how it's supposed to be. Don't be meta. Don't realize it and think about it, recognize it, expect it. That's what causes anxiety. Just let it be. Be happy about it, but just let it be. Don't be happy about it, just be happy in general.