symphony of sound [12/40]
Zack tries his hardest to pick himself up and put himself back together over the few weeks left in the run up to Christmas. It’s harder than it sounds, because Rian is going out on more and more dates with Cassadee and Zack has to smile and pretend like he’s happy for him when he really, really isn’t.
He’s been told countless times about how much they love each other, and to be completely honest, he could care less. He feels guilty, thinking like that, but if he’s being totally true to himself then he thinks they deserve it.
But, then, they’re not to know how much it pains him.
He and Cassadee have gone off somewhere into Augusta to see a movie and go to some stupid restaurant, that Zack was told the name of more times than he cares to count, which leaves the younger boy sitting in Jack’s room with sheet music, practicing for string quartet.
There’s always a big, full school celebration before winter break, and the various different section bands always take part. Because Mr. Smith is incredibly indecisive, he’s making them learn six different songs.
“I honestly do not believe him.” Jack sighs as he and Zack flick through the stack of music before them -notation for Defying Gravity, How To Save A Life, She Will Be Loved, Use Somebody, Bad Romance and Hey, Soul Sister.
“Six songs is way too many.” Zack says with a sigh, glaring at the music in front of him
“Do you think we should only learn a few and risk it, or do them all and die trying?”
“This is Mr. Smith we’re talking about. He could pick any two.”
“This is very true.”
“My point.” Zack says with a slight nod, repositioning his violin on his shoulder. “So, Defying Gravity first, then?”
“Better had,” Jack says with a reluctant sigh, wriggling a little until he’s comfortable with his cello.
By the time they’re finished, both boys have a new found hatred for all six of the songs.
“I hate him for this.” Jack sighs with a pout as he collects all of his sheet music up and stuffs them inside the folder with everything else.
“Yeah, but if we can blow the brass and woodwind bands out of the water, then who cares that we’ve learnt four songs more than we need to.”
“I suppose,” Jack frowns, watching absently as Zack packs away his violin.
Alex is somewhere across campus with the rest of the double bass players and Martin, doing some project thing for music class.
So it’s just Jack and Zack for tonight, and they end up watching the new, remastered edition of Back To The Future on Jack’s laptop and discussing things from orchestra and music class.
“Jack, can I trust you with something?”
“Sure, what is it?”
“No, before you agree, when I say ‘trust’, I mean, ‘never speak of this again and don’t tell Alex ever’ trust.”
“Oh. That bad?”
“Not bad as such, just... embarrassing.”
“Okay, promise. I won’t tell anyone.”
“I, uh, have a crush on someone.”
“Ooh, who?” Jack presses, turning properly to look at the older boy as he quizzes him.
“That’s the embarrassing part.”
“Is it Mike?”
“No!”
“Andrew?”
“No!”
“Nick?”
“Oh, for Christ’s sake, Jack, no! If you’d just let me-”
“It’s Rian, isn’t it?” Jack muses with a small smirk, this becoming a grin when the blonde boy starts to blush uncontrollably.
“I knew it! God, it’s so obvious.”
“Yeah, it’s that obvious that he was your fourth guess, Barakat.”
“Hey, shut up. It’s getting late. Cut a guy some slack.”
Zack laughs a little, smiles inwardly and blushes harder still.
“... Is it that obvious?”
“Kind of.” Jack says with half of a shrug. “Only really when you spend a lot of time around the both of you, I don’t see how anyone else would notice.”
“Evan managed to.”
“Yeah, but that kid creeps me out a little.”
“Fair point.” Zack says with a laugh.
Orchestra the next day is tense -since Jack is now aware of the situation between two of his best friends, he is oddly alert and keeps flashing a glance between the two of them.
Alex, on the other hand, is blissfully unaware and is giggling to Martin about something that happened the night before.
Zack is quite happily flicking through his sheet music until he hears Rian shout across the room at Cassadee.
“So, I know you probably want this to be all romantic or something, so sorry that it isn’t, but will you go to the Christmas Dance with me?”
Zack’s heart about stops. Jack leans forward and squeezes his shoulder gently, trying to comfort him without words.
It doesn’t really work, however, because Zack still looks at Jack with teary eyes and a quivering lower lip and it almost breaks Jack’s heart.
“Do you want to go? I can get Alex to cover for us.”
Zack nods, bites at his lip to stop it trembling and turns back, collecting his things as Jack fumbles his way out with his stuff after explaining to Alex that he had to lie and say they were talking to family.
“Where are you going?” Kara shouts from across the room as the two of them leave. Jack shakes his head a little at her, silencing her instantly as he wraps a gentle arm around the younger boy’s waist.
They end up sitting cross legged opposite each other on Zack’s bed, with the older of the two staring at his duvet and playing with it absently.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Not... Not really, no.” Zack says quietly.
“Do you want me to go? I know what you get like, sometimes you just want to be on your own.”
Zack sniffles and nods, wiping his nose with the back of his wrist.
“Could you? I don’t mean to sound horrible, or anything, but... I think I’d be better off on my own for now.”
“Alright.” Jack says, tugging Zack in for a gentle hug. “It’s okay, I get it. You know where I am if you need me, alright? Come get me later and we can hang out when we eat dinner.”
Zack nods shyly, blinking a little to dispel his tears.
However, as soon as he figures Jack is out of earshot, he stumbles to the door and fumbles with the lock until it clicks and he falls back onto his bed and buries his face into the pillow.
He starts to cry again, despite assuring Jack that he was fine and that nothing was wrong. Yeah, he lied.
At least another half hour or so passes before there’s a knock on his door, quiet and insistent, but somehow still audible.
He doesn’t make a verbal response until he hears whoever’s outside sigh and start to speak.
“It’s Evan.”
He still doesn’t move, just whimpers out a ‘go away’ into the soft white of the pillow and doesn’t move.
“Zack, you really need to talk to someone about this, it’s hurting you so much and I can see that.”
Zack releases another whimper, rolls over onto his back and stares at the high ceiling of the room and doesn’t respond.
“Alright, fine. Don’t talk about it now, whatever. But, if you need someone, you know where I am.”
As Evan is leaving to go back to his own dorm room, Rian comes bouncing past him, grinning.
“I don’t know why you’re smiling, Dawson.” He spits as the older boy grinds to a halt beside him.
“I just got a real girlfriend for the first time in years. Why shouldn’t I be happy?”
“Because, well, I don’t know, your best friend is crying himself to sleep for what I think is the third time so far this week. And I know it won’t be the last. So, yes, I see why you shouldn’t be happy.”
“He’s what?”
“Crying himself to sleep.” Evan replies bluntly, expression harsh as the older boy looks shocked. “I don’t know why you look so shocked, a lot of other people knew it was going on.”
Rian swallows nervously, bites at his lip and looks up at the younger boy.
This is probably the only time he’s ever found Evan anything close to being intimidating, but in his defence, the younger boy is glaring at him and is at least five inches taller than him.
“Do you... Do you think I should go and talk to him?”
“No.” Evan replies curtly, shaking his head slightly. “You shouldn’t even bother.”
“And why is that?” Rian snaps in response, expression hardening. “I am his best friend, after all.”
“No, not right now. You’re definitely not his best friend right now. Far from it.” Evan finishes, pursing his lips and turning on his heel, walking away from the older boy before he has a chance to argue.
Rian stares after him, doing a pretty damn good goldfish impression, before realizing how ridiculous he looks, turning and sprinting up the small amount of stairs and down the corridor to Zack’s room.
He can hear the blonde boy crying from outside the door. He inhales sharply as it hits him that Evan was tell the complete truth, and not just exaggerating to make him overreact.
He knocks gently, hesitating before speaking.
“Zack, it’s me. Are you okay in there?”
He’s met with a loud inhale, followed by a weak sob and several shaky breaths.
“What do you want?”
“Zack, something is seriously upsetting you and it’s worrying me.”
“It wasn’t worrying you all the other times I’ve been left to cry on my own because you were with your stupid girlfriend!”
Rian glares at the door then, as if to channel his irritation through the wood and at the younger boy.
“Don’t say stuff like that about her! You hardly even know her! I never say shit like that about any of your boyfriends!”
The door comes flying open then and Zack is standing there, eyes red and tear stains on his cheeks, chest heaving. Rian knows then that he really shouldn’t have said that.
“It’s because I’ve never fucking had a boyfriend, isn’t it, Rian? You should know. You push me into situations with boys I take even the slightest liking to and I fuck up under the pressure.”
Rian stares at him, mouth hanging open.
“And it’s not helped by the fact that the one person I know I’m perfect for doesn’t even care! He hasn’t cared for weeks!” Zack sobs, eyes narrowed as he frowns at the brunette boy. “So thank you for reminding me of all of that, Rian. I really appreciate it.”
And with that, he slams the door on the older boy.
“Nice work, you blithering idiot.” Alex comments from the doorway diagonal from Zack’s.
Rian just fixes him with a glare and stalks away.
He’s been told countless times about how much they love each other, and to be completely honest, he could care less. He feels guilty, thinking like that, but if he’s being totally true to himself then he thinks they deserve it.
But, then, they’re not to know how much it pains him.
He and Cassadee have gone off somewhere into Augusta to see a movie and go to some stupid restaurant, that Zack was told the name of more times than he cares to count, which leaves the younger boy sitting in Jack’s room with sheet music, practicing for string quartet.
There’s always a big, full school celebration before winter break, and the various different section bands always take part. Because Mr. Smith is incredibly indecisive, he’s making them learn six different songs.
“I honestly do not believe him.” Jack sighs as he and Zack flick through the stack of music before them -notation for Defying Gravity, How To Save A Life, She Will Be Loved, Use Somebody, Bad Romance and Hey, Soul Sister.
“Six songs is way too many.” Zack says with a sigh, glaring at the music in front of him
“Do you think we should only learn a few and risk it, or do them all and die trying?”
“This is Mr. Smith we’re talking about. He could pick any two.”
“This is very true.”
“My point.” Zack says with a slight nod, repositioning his violin on his shoulder. “So, Defying Gravity first, then?”
“Better had,” Jack says with a reluctant sigh, wriggling a little until he’s comfortable with his cello.
By the time they’re finished, both boys have a new found hatred for all six of the songs.
“I hate him for this.” Jack sighs with a pout as he collects all of his sheet music up and stuffs them inside the folder with everything else.
“Yeah, but if we can blow the brass and woodwind bands out of the water, then who cares that we’ve learnt four songs more than we need to.”
“I suppose,” Jack frowns, watching absently as Zack packs away his violin.
Alex is somewhere across campus with the rest of the double bass players and Martin, doing some project thing for music class.
So it’s just Jack and Zack for tonight, and they end up watching the new, remastered edition of Back To The Future on Jack’s laptop and discussing things from orchestra and music class.
“Jack, can I trust you with something?”
“Sure, what is it?”
“No, before you agree, when I say ‘trust’, I mean, ‘never speak of this again and don’t tell Alex ever’ trust.”
“Oh. That bad?”
“Not bad as such, just... embarrassing.”
“Okay, promise. I won’t tell anyone.”
“I, uh, have a crush on someone.”
“Ooh, who?” Jack presses, turning properly to look at the older boy as he quizzes him.
“That’s the embarrassing part.”
“Is it Mike?”
“No!”
“Andrew?”
“No!”
“Nick?”
“Oh, for Christ’s sake, Jack, no! If you’d just let me-”
“It’s Rian, isn’t it?” Jack muses with a small smirk, this becoming a grin when the blonde boy starts to blush uncontrollably.
“I knew it! God, it’s so obvious.”
“Yeah, it’s that obvious that he was your fourth guess, Barakat.”
“Hey, shut up. It’s getting late. Cut a guy some slack.”
Zack laughs a little, smiles inwardly and blushes harder still.
“... Is it that obvious?”
“Kind of.” Jack says with half of a shrug. “Only really when you spend a lot of time around the both of you, I don’t see how anyone else would notice.”
“Evan managed to.”
“Yeah, but that kid creeps me out a little.”
“Fair point.” Zack says with a laugh.
Orchestra the next day is tense -since Jack is now aware of the situation between two of his best friends, he is oddly alert and keeps flashing a glance between the two of them.
Alex, on the other hand, is blissfully unaware and is giggling to Martin about something that happened the night before.
Zack is quite happily flicking through his sheet music until he hears Rian shout across the room at Cassadee.
“So, I know you probably want this to be all romantic or something, so sorry that it isn’t, but will you go to the Christmas Dance with me?”
Zack’s heart about stops. Jack leans forward and squeezes his shoulder gently, trying to comfort him without words.
It doesn’t really work, however, because Zack still looks at Jack with teary eyes and a quivering lower lip and it almost breaks Jack’s heart.
“Do you want to go? I can get Alex to cover for us.”
Zack nods, bites at his lip to stop it trembling and turns back, collecting his things as Jack fumbles his way out with his stuff after explaining to Alex that he had to lie and say they were talking to family.
“Where are you going?” Kara shouts from across the room as the two of them leave. Jack shakes his head a little at her, silencing her instantly as he wraps a gentle arm around the younger boy’s waist.
They end up sitting cross legged opposite each other on Zack’s bed, with the older of the two staring at his duvet and playing with it absently.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Not... Not really, no.” Zack says quietly.
“Do you want me to go? I know what you get like, sometimes you just want to be on your own.”
Zack sniffles and nods, wiping his nose with the back of his wrist.
“Could you? I don’t mean to sound horrible, or anything, but... I think I’d be better off on my own for now.”
“Alright.” Jack says, tugging Zack in for a gentle hug. “It’s okay, I get it. You know where I am if you need me, alright? Come get me later and we can hang out when we eat dinner.”
Zack nods shyly, blinking a little to dispel his tears.
However, as soon as he figures Jack is out of earshot, he stumbles to the door and fumbles with the lock until it clicks and he falls back onto his bed and buries his face into the pillow.
He starts to cry again, despite assuring Jack that he was fine and that nothing was wrong. Yeah, he lied.
At least another half hour or so passes before there’s a knock on his door, quiet and insistent, but somehow still audible.
He doesn’t make a verbal response until he hears whoever’s outside sigh and start to speak.
“It’s Evan.”
He still doesn’t move, just whimpers out a ‘go away’ into the soft white of the pillow and doesn’t move.
“Zack, you really need to talk to someone about this, it’s hurting you so much and I can see that.”
Zack releases another whimper, rolls over onto his back and stares at the high ceiling of the room and doesn’t respond.
“Alright, fine. Don’t talk about it now, whatever. But, if you need someone, you know where I am.”
As Evan is leaving to go back to his own dorm room, Rian comes bouncing past him, grinning.
“I don’t know why you’re smiling, Dawson.” He spits as the older boy grinds to a halt beside him.
“I just got a real girlfriend for the first time in years. Why shouldn’t I be happy?”
“Because, well, I don’t know, your best friend is crying himself to sleep for what I think is the third time so far this week. And I know it won’t be the last. So, yes, I see why you shouldn’t be happy.”
“He’s what?”
“Crying himself to sleep.” Evan replies bluntly, expression harsh as the older boy looks shocked. “I don’t know why you look so shocked, a lot of other people knew it was going on.”
Rian swallows nervously, bites at his lip and looks up at the younger boy.
This is probably the only time he’s ever found Evan anything close to being intimidating, but in his defence, the younger boy is glaring at him and is at least five inches taller than him.
“Do you... Do you think I should go and talk to him?”
“No.” Evan replies curtly, shaking his head slightly. “You shouldn’t even bother.”
“And why is that?” Rian snaps in response, expression hardening. “I am his best friend, after all.”
“No, not right now. You’re definitely not his best friend right now. Far from it.” Evan finishes, pursing his lips and turning on his heel, walking away from the older boy before he has a chance to argue.
Rian stares after him, doing a pretty damn good goldfish impression, before realizing how ridiculous he looks, turning and sprinting up the small amount of stairs and down the corridor to Zack’s room.
He can hear the blonde boy crying from outside the door. He inhales sharply as it hits him that Evan was tell the complete truth, and not just exaggerating to make him overreact.
He knocks gently, hesitating before speaking.
“Zack, it’s me. Are you okay in there?”
He’s met with a loud inhale, followed by a weak sob and several shaky breaths.
“What do you want?”
“Zack, something is seriously upsetting you and it’s worrying me.”
“It wasn’t worrying you all the other times I’ve been left to cry on my own because you were with your stupid girlfriend!”
Rian glares at the door then, as if to channel his irritation through the wood and at the younger boy.
“Don’t say stuff like that about her! You hardly even know her! I never say shit like that about any of your boyfriends!”
The door comes flying open then and Zack is standing there, eyes red and tear stains on his cheeks, chest heaving. Rian knows then that he really shouldn’t have said that.
“It’s because I’ve never fucking had a boyfriend, isn’t it, Rian? You should know. You push me into situations with boys I take even the slightest liking to and I fuck up under the pressure.”
Rian stares at him, mouth hanging open.
“And it’s not helped by the fact that the one person I know I’m perfect for doesn’t even care! He hasn’t cared for weeks!” Zack sobs, eyes narrowed as he frowns at the brunette boy. “So thank you for reminding me of all of that, Rian. I really appreciate it.”
And with that, he slams the door on the older boy.
“Nice work, you blithering idiot.” Alex comments from the doorway diagonal from Zack’s.
Rian just fixes him with a glare and stalks away.