Who I Am, What I'll Become, Fic 23: Unravelling (1/1)
Title: Unravelling: Story 23 in the "Who I Am, What I'll Become" series
Author: X_tremeroswellian
Email: faithboscorelli1@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: All Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters belong to Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt. Roswellians belong to Melinda Metz and Jason Katims. No infringement intended, no money is being made. Song is "Black and White" by Sarah McLachlan.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Up through and including the Angel episode, "Are You Now or Have You Ever Been," and the first 22 stories in this series. Also, up through the BtVS episode, "Blood Ties" and the whole Glory-is-a-god and Dawn-is-the-key story though I will be deviating from some of the events later in this series. Some of the events in this fic are reminiscent of events in season 2 of Angel.
Timelines: A couple days after the events of "One Breath"
Summary: Regrets and guilt eat at Angel as Cordelia tries to get him to open up to her.
Distribution: Anyone with previous permission.
Category: Story; crossover with Buffy the Vampire Slayer and semi-crossover with Roswell.
Subcategories: angst/friendship
Feedback: I thrive on it. :)
Unravelling
"Unravel me
untie this chord
the very center of our union
is caving in
I can't endure
I am the archive of our failure..."
It had been three days since Angel's soul had been restored, and Charles Gunn was still tense just being in the building with the vampire. Of course, he hadn't actually seen Angel in those three days--he'd been in his suite and hadn't come out even once in the entire time. Both Wesley and Cordelia had been by many times trying to get him to come out, but he didn't. He had locked himself in and hadn't spoken to anyone.
Gunn chalked it up to the guilt Angel was feeling for the people he'd killed when he'd gone evil again. And for what he'd done to Cordelia.
The wound on her neck wasn't serious, but it was enough of a wound that it was going to scar. He and Oz had arrived at Cordelia's after Angel had fled and they'd wanted to take her to the emergency room, but Cordy was Cordy and she'd refused. So Gunn had gotten a bandage and carefully cleaned and covered the wound on her neck.
She was quiet, too. The last three days, she'd barely spoken, and it looked like she hadn't slept in weeks. Which, she probably hadn't. First her life was threatened by a psycho serial killer, then Angel lost his soul and bit her. It had to give the girl trust issues if nothing else. Wesley had been by her side almost constantly though her life was no longer in immediate danger--unless you accounted for Dru and Darla, who were still assumedly roaming the streets of L.A.
Gunn's friends had been patrolling every night looking for them. Oz had gone with them a couple of times, but to no avail. There were no clues that pointed to the psychotic vampire duo. Even Buffy Summers, Slayer extraordinaire had volunteered to come to L.A. and help, but Wesley and Giles had talked her out of it. There was some hell-demon currently residing in Sunnydale and she was needed there.
Besides, as Wesley had informed Gunn later, Buffy and Cordelia weren't the best of friends. In fact, they tended to not get along at all most of the time. And Wesley's main concern, after making sure that Angel remained with his soul intact, was that Cordelia was all right.
Gunn didn't think Cordelia was even remotely all right at this point, but he kept his mouth shut about it. He knew Wesley knew it, too, and they didn't have to discuss it.
Sighing, he stared blankly at the computer in front of him until the bell above the front entrance jangled and he glanced up to see a pale-faced Cordelia step inside. She regarded him silently, nodding a little before heading up the stairs.
Her daily attempt to get Angel to talk to her.
Gazing after her, he shook his head a little and hoped the vampire came around soon. Because otherwise their Seer was going to have some kind of breakdown.
* * *
Cordelia didn't even bother knocking, she simply twisted the door handle and leaned her forehead against the door when she found it locked. Tears prickled at her eyelids. "Angel, please," she whispered, her voice barely audible. After a long moment, she swept her hair behind her shoulders and slowly slid down to the floor, her back against his bedroom door as she stared blankly at the wall.
Angel sat on the other side of the door, the same expression on his face. He could hear her heart beating, the soft sound of her breathing. Every now and then it hitched and he knew she was crying. Because of him. Because of what he'd done to her.
"I know you can hear me," she murmured. "Vampire super powers and everything. I really need to talk to you, Angel."
He closed his eyes tightly, not responding.
"I hate this."
You're not the only one, he thought, guilt washing over him.
"This isn't fair to me."
He was surprised when her voice took on a bit of an edge and he lifted his head a little.
"This whole self-pity thing you've got going is starting to piss me off."
"Self-pity?" he repeated.
Cordelia was startled when she heard his voice. She slowly turned to face the door. "That's right. Self-pity. I'm getting sick of it!" She heard the door unlock and she rose to her feet, her heart pounding in her chest.
"It's not self-pity." His voice was thick and he opened the door a crack.
"The hell it's not! You've locked yourself in your room for three days and you haven't talked to anyone."
He pulled the door open more, his eyes dark. "Do you have any idea what I would've done to you?"
"Killed me?" She folded her arms across her chest, her expression challenging.
Angel took a step toward her and was a little surprised when she didn't step back at all. "I wasn't gonna kill you. If that spell hadn't kicked in, I would've raped you, tortured you, then turned you into a soulless demon." His voice was harsh.
Her face paled a little more and the breath caught in her throat.
"Go away, Cordelia. Go find another job. Go back to Sunnydale and work for Giles. You'll be safer there."
Tears prickled at her eyes once more and she quickly swiped one away as it slid down her cheek. "I'm not going anywhere." Her voice was flat, though the hurt in her eyes was obvious. "You can try all you want to get rid of me, buddy, but it's not gonna happen. You need me." Without waiting for a response, she turned and headed down the hallway.
Angel stared after her for a long moment, then closed his eyes, leaning against the doorframe.
Cordelia stormed down the stairs, not bothering to speak to Gunn on her way out the door.
She had no idea that she was being watched.
Darla's eyes were dark and full of hate as she followed Cordelia with her gaze as the young woman got into a cab and drove away from the Hyperion. The little bitch was going to be punished for taking Angelus from her. And Angel was going to get punished even worse.
Author: X_tremeroswellian
Email: faithboscorelli1@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: All Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters belong to Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt. Roswellians belong to Melinda Metz and Jason Katims. No infringement intended, no money is being made. Song is "Black and White" by Sarah McLachlan.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Up through and including the Angel episode, "Are You Now or Have You Ever Been," and the first 22 stories in this series. Also, up through the BtVS episode, "Blood Ties" and the whole Glory-is-a-god and Dawn-is-the-key story though I will be deviating from some of the events later in this series. Some of the events in this fic are reminiscent of events in season 2 of Angel.
Timelines: A couple days after the events of "One Breath"
Summary: Regrets and guilt eat at Angel as Cordelia tries to get him to open up to her.
Distribution: Anyone with previous permission.
Category: Story; crossover with Buffy the Vampire Slayer and semi-crossover with Roswell.
Subcategories: angst/friendship
Feedback: I thrive on it. :)
Unravelling
"Unravel me
untie this chord
the very center of our union
is caving in
I can't endure
I am the archive of our failure..."
It had been three days since Angel's soul had been restored, and Charles Gunn was still tense just being in the building with the vampire. Of course, he hadn't actually seen Angel in those three days--he'd been in his suite and hadn't come out even once in the entire time. Both Wesley and Cordelia had been by many times trying to get him to come out, but he didn't. He had locked himself in and hadn't spoken to anyone.
Gunn chalked it up to the guilt Angel was feeling for the people he'd killed when he'd gone evil again. And for what he'd done to Cordelia.
The wound on her neck wasn't serious, but it was enough of a wound that it was going to scar. He and Oz had arrived at Cordelia's after Angel had fled and they'd wanted to take her to the emergency room, but Cordy was Cordy and she'd refused. So Gunn had gotten a bandage and carefully cleaned and covered the wound on her neck.
She was quiet, too. The last three days, she'd barely spoken, and it looked like she hadn't slept in weeks. Which, she probably hadn't. First her life was threatened by a psycho serial killer, then Angel lost his soul and bit her. It had to give the girl trust issues if nothing else. Wesley had been by her side almost constantly though her life was no longer in immediate danger--unless you accounted for Dru and Darla, who were still assumedly roaming the streets of L.A.
Gunn's friends had been patrolling every night looking for them. Oz had gone with them a couple of times, but to no avail. There were no clues that pointed to the psychotic vampire duo. Even Buffy Summers, Slayer extraordinaire had volunteered to come to L.A. and help, but Wesley and Giles had talked her out of it. There was some hell-demon currently residing in Sunnydale and she was needed there.
Besides, as Wesley had informed Gunn later, Buffy and Cordelia weren't the best of friends. In fact, they tended to not get along at all most of the time. And Wesley's main concern, after making sure that Angel remained with his soul intact, was that Cordelia was all right.
Gunn didn't think Cordelia was even remotely all right at this point, but he kept his mouth shut about it. He knew Wesley knew it, too, and they didn't have to discuss it.
Sighing, he stared blankly at the computer in front of him until the bell above the front entrance jangled and he glanced up to see a pale-faced Cordelia step inside. She regarded him silently, nodding a little before heading up the stairs.
Her daily attempt to get Angel to talk to her.
Gazing after her, he shook his head a little and hoped the vampire came around soon. Because otherwise their Seer was going to have some kind of breakdown.
* * *
Cordelia didn't even bother knocking, she simply twisted the door handle and leaned her forehead against the door when she found it locked. Tears prickled at her eyelids. "Angel, please," she whispered, her voice barely audible. After a long moment, she swept her hair behind her shoulders and slowly slid down to the floor, her back against his bedroom door as she stared blankly at the wall.
Angel sat on the other side of the door, the same expression on his face. He could hear her heart beating, the soft sound of her breathing. Every now and then it hitched and he knew she was crying. Because of him. Because of what he'd done to her.
"I know you can hear me," she murmured. "Vampire super powers and everything. I really need to talk to you, Angel."
He closed his eyes tightly, not responding.
"I hate this."
You're not the only one, he thought, guilt washing over him.
"This isn't fair to me."
He was surprised when her voice took on a bit of an edge and he lifted his head a little.
"This whole self-pity thing you've got going is starting to piss me off."
"Self-pity?" he repeated.
Cordelia was startled when she heard his voice. She slowly turned to face the door. "That's right. Self-pity. I'm getting sick of it!" She heard the door unlock and she rose to her feet, her heart pounding in her chest.
"It's not self-pity." His voice was thick and he opened the door a crack.
"The hell it's not! You've locked yourself in your room for three days and you haven't talked to anyone."
He pulled the door open more, his eyes dark. "Do you have any idea what I would've done to you?"
"Killed me?" She folded her arms across her chest, her expression challenging.
Angel took a step toward her and was a little surprised when she didn't step back at all. "I wasn't gonna kill you. If that spell hadn't kicked in, I would've raped you, tortured you, then turned you into a soulless demon." His voice was harsh.
Her face paled a little more and the breath caught in her throat.
"Go away, Cordelia. Go find another job. Go back to Sunnydale and work for Giles. You'll be safer there."
Tears prickled at her eyes once more and she quickly swiped one away as it slid down her cheek. "I'm not going anywhere." Her voice was flat, though the hurt in her eyes was obvious. "You can try all you want to get rid of me, buddy, but it's not gonna happen. You need me." Without waiting for a response, she turned and headed down the hallway.
Angel stared after her for a long moment, then closed his eyes, leaning against the doorframe.
Cordelia stormed down the stairs, not bothering to speak to Gunn on her way out the door.
She had no idea that she was being watched.
Darla's eyes were dark and full of hate as she followed Cordelia with her gaze as the young woman got into a cab and drove away from the Hyperion. The little bitch was going to be punished for taking Angelus from her. And Angel was going to get punished even worse.