Third Watch Fic: Upside Down (5-6/10)

[xtremeroswellia]

Title: Upside Down
Written in March of 2004
Authors: NYPDBosco and X_tremeroswellian
Emails: mauriceboscorelli@yahoo.com and faithboscorelli1@yahoo.com
Rating: Most chapters will be of the general audience version.
Genre: AU
Main Characters: Faith, Maurice and Mikey
Summary: When Third Watch characters get mixed up with two fanfic authors who like to write Alternate Universe stories, the characters roles get mixed up and things tend to get turned...Upside Down.



As soon as Faith opened the door to her apartment he headed for the kitchen. They'd all ready eaten lunch, and he wasn't really that hungry but he needed something to keep himself occupied. He found a can of Pringles, and pulled it off the shelf.

"So that program seems like it'll be really good."

He pulled the lid off the Pringles, and stuck his hand in the canister. "Yeah. Yeah, it should be good."

She nodded, following him into the kitchen and setting her keys on the countertop. Watching him silently.

"It's gonna be like school all over again. Lots of homework."

"Are you nervous?"

He looked at her, and nodded. "Yeah."

"Just remember...you're not alone," she said softly.

"Keep reminding me of that, okay?" He stuffed a few chips in his mouth, and held the container out to her.

"I'm not hungry. But thanks."

"I'm not really hungry either," he mumbled as he stuck his hand back into the canister to get more chips.

She bit her lip. "You wanna watch a movie or somethin'?"

"Sure. Watchin' a movie is probably a better idea than stuffin' my face."

"Come on." She took the can from him and set it on the counter, taking his hand and guiding him into the living room.

He smiled softly as he followed her into the living room. "So what are we watchin'," he asked as he plopped down on the sofa.

"Your choice."

"You got any movies that'll make me think? Occupy my mind a little?"

"Sure. You ever seen White Oleander?"

Maurice shook his head. "Can't say I have."

"It's a good movie." She walked over and pulled out the DVD, popping it into the machine.

He slouched a little on the sofa, and leaned back against the cushions. "How many times have you seen it?"

"A couple." She shrugged and flipped the TV on, moving over to sit down beside him.

"Sit close," he whispered.

Faith glanced over at him, then scooted closer, resting a hand on his knee.

Shifting a little he put his arm around her. "This okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine." She kissed his shoulder.

"Thanks for goin' with me today," he told her softly. "I was a little overwhelmed."

"Thanks for lettin' me go."

He made small circles on her shoulder with his index finger.

She rested her head against his, closing her eyes as they sat together.

"You think I should tell my mother?"

"Yeah. I think you could use all the support you can get."

He nodded his head. "Maybe I'll go see her tomorrow."

"I think that's a good idea," she said softly.

"I gotta work tomorrow afternoon. Did I tell you that?"

"No...you didn't."

"Forgot. Sorry." He ran his hand through his hair. "I work from one to seven at the auto body shop."

"Okay," she said quietly.

"Maybe I could start payin' you rent or somethin'," he suggested softly.

"No. That's not necessary."

"Well...I need to start doin' somethin' though. Take on some responsibility."

"Well...then you can help out around here. Laundry, that kinda thing."

He nodded his head. "Okay. How 'bout later tonight, after dinner, we figure some stuff out seein' as I gotta start puttin' together a daily schedule as part of this program?"

"Sounds like a plan."

"Now...enough talk. Let's watch the movie."

She smiled faintly and shifted her gaze to the television screen.

He gently rubbed her arm as he relaxed a little more, and settled in to watch the movie.
* * *
Faith shivered as she became aware of the cool draft in the room. She sat up in bed slowly, squinting at the clock. It was 3:21 a.m. She slowly climbed out of bed, wrapping her arms around herself as she headed for the open bedroom door. She walked down the hall, shivering again as she stepped into the living room and spotted Maurice pacing the floor in the dark. The window was all the way open

He didn't even realize she was there as he continued to walk back and forth behind the sofa. Caught up in his thoughts.

For a long moment she remained at the entrance of the hallway, watching him in silence. "Maurice?"

Her voice startled him, and he quickly turned around.

She quickly held her hands up. "Didn't mean to scare you."

Maurice blew out a breath, and nodded his head. "You okay? Did I wake you?"

"I'm fine. You didn't wake me," she said softly.

"Good. I've been tryin' to be quiet."

"Are you all right?"

"Never better."

She didn't respond, simply leaned against the wall.

"I just...I can't sleep, and I...I need to just keep movin'."

Faith tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and slowly walked over to him.

"And I just keep thinkin' that all I've gotta do is walk out that door." He motioned toward the door. "I could walk out the door, and I could go take care of this feeling."

Her eyes were sad but the darkness of the room made it impossible for him to see. She reached out and touched his cheek.

"Two days," he whispered. "I've only lasted two days and it feels like it's been months."

"I know this is hard."

"I can't stop thinkin' about it."

She gazed at him silently for a moment, then slowly pressed her lips against his, hoping that she could distract him once more.

He didn't react at first, but then he slowly put his arms around her as he returned the pressure.

Nibbling on his lower lip, she slid her arms around his neck.

Maurice slid his hands down to her backside. He pulled away from the kiss, and swallowed hard as he rested his forehead against hers.

"Does that help at all?" she asked very softly, her voice uncertain.

He nodded slightly. "Yeah, but...I don't want you to think that we have to kiss or have sex every time things get tough for me. That's not fair to you."

"And if I want to?"

"It's fine if you want to. I'm just sayin'..."

"I like you, Maurice. But the one thing you should know about me...I never do anything I don't wanna do."

"Okay," he whispered. "I just don't want you to get tired of me, ya know?"

"Doubt that's gonna happen."

"Well that's definitely good news." He kissed her softly.

She touched his cheek. "Come back to bed with me?"

"Yeah. Just let me close the window."

Faith nodded and watched as he crossed the room.

Maurice paused at the window, and took a deep breath of the cool early morning air. He then shut the window and locked it.

She held her hand out as he moved over toward her once more.

He slid his hand into hers, and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Squeezing his hand back, she led him down the hall to her bedroom.

"I haven't told you in the last couple days how great you look," he told her softly.

A wry grin tugged at her lips. She looked like crap--she'd barely slept in the past 48 hours and her face was paler than usual. "Charmer."

He smiled softly. "You don't have to look perfect all the time for me to be attracted to you."

"Well, good thing, cause I rarely ever look perfect."

"I bet you look perfect more often than you think," he informed her as he crawled into bed.

She chuckled. "You really are charming, Maurice."

"And now I know it's not the coke talkin'," he joked.

"No, the charm is definitely a natural thing for the Boscorellis."

He grinned. "So...Mikey's got himself a girlfriend, huh? What'd you say her name was?"

"Nicole."

"She nice?"

"Yeah...and I know he thinks so." She smirked.

He gave her a look. "What's that mean?"

"Let's just say that...Nicole is...very eager. In uh...certain aspects of their relationship."

His eyebrows furrowed for a moment, and then his eyes widened. "Oh."

Faith chuckled again. "Yeah."

"Well..." He shifted a little closer to her. "If the offer is still out there...I can be kinda eager, too." He placed a soft kiss on her lips.

"Mmm," she murmured, kissing him back.

"That a yes," he asked against her lips as he rested his hand on her hip.

"Definitely."

"That's good," he whispered before kissing her again.

Within moments they were both undressed, their tongues dancing together as they kissed.
* * *
Maurice was dressed in a pair of old worn blue jeans, and one of his work shirts that they'd retrieved from his apartment. He walked out into the living room. "So...I'll see you later."

Faith rose to her feet and walked over to him. "Yeah. Have a good day at work."

He nodded his head. "I'll see what I can do."

She kissed his cheek. "I'll see you tonight."

"Yeah. Okay." He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tight for a moment before pulling away. This was going to be the first time since he broke into her place looking for help that he'd been out of the apartment on his own.

"If you need me...all you gotta do is call."

"I got your numbers in my wallet," he told her softly. He reached for the doorknob.

"Maurice?"

"Yeah?"

She hesitated a moment, then forced a smile. "Nothing. Have a good day."

His eyebrows furrowed. "What were you gonna say?"

"It wasn't important." She smiled faintly. "I'll see you."

"Uh...okay. See ya."

Faith watched as he walked out the door and she swallowed hard.
* * *
It was four o'clock, and there were only three hours left before his work day was over. He'd been working on the transmission of the same car for the last couple of hours, but his hands had started to shake slightly and he was having trouble concentrating. Putting his tools down he grabbed his pack of cigarettes and headed for the alley behind the shop hoping to clear his head.

Randy was leaned against the wall, smoking a joint.

As soon as Maurice stepped outside he stuck a cigarette in his mouth, and lit it quickly. He closed his eyes, and took a long drag.

"You all right, man?"

He looked over at his co-worker, his eyes settling on the joint. "Oh...uh, yeah. Just uh..." He swallowed hard. "Stressed."

"Here. Take this. It'll help calm you down." Randy held the joint out to him.

His eyes widened slightly, and he blinked quickly, turning his head away. "I can't."

"I got more, man. It's all right."

Maurice turned his attention back to the joint. "I'm tryin' to...quit," he said softly.

"Seriously?"

He nodded his head quickly though he was unable to take his eyes off the drug his friend was offering him. It wasn't cocaine or meth, but he knew it would definitely do the trick. He knew his hands would stop shaking, his stomach would stop hurting and he'd be able to finish working on the transmission.

"Just take a drag, man. It won't hurt ya."

His eyes were questioning as he glanced up at Randy. "It's not like it's meth or anything. It's just weed," he said, trying to convince himself that it was okay.

"It's not even addictive or anything. Just calms you down."

Maurice didn't need anymore convincing. He dropped his cigarette to the ground, and reached out to take the joint.
* * *
Faith gazed out the passenger window of 55-David as they pulled up outside of Don's Automotive. "You sure this is a good idea?"

He put the car in park. "We've gotta check on him," he told her softly.

"I know, I just...I don't want him thinkin' we don't trust him."

Mike glanced over at her. "I think he kinda all ready has that feeling...don't you?"

She closed her eyes, sighing softly. "Yeah." There was a weariness to her voice as she reached for the door handle.

"Faith?"

"Yeah?"

"We're doin' this to help him. He'll understand that. He may not like it now, but..."

"I know," she said softly, climbing out of the RMP.

They walked into the garage together, and Mike approached the first employee he saw. "Can you tell us where Maurice is?"

Randy looked over, his eyes bloodshot. "He's workin' on a car." He nodded toward the back.

Mike gave him a curious look. "Thanks."

"Sure." He looked over at Faith, his eyes sweeping over her slowly.

She didn't notice as she moved past him and headed for the back of the shop.

He spotted his brother, and made his way over to him. "Hey, Mo. How's it goin'?"

Maurice turned toward them, and smiled. "Mikey! Faith! Hey!"

Faith paused in her steps, thrown off guard by his cheerful greeting.

"What are you two doin' here," he asked, his voice loud.

Her eyes narrowed slightly as she studied him. "We came to see how you were doin'."

He grabbed a rag off the workbench, and wiped his hands. "I'm good. Real good," he chuckled softly.

"Shit," Mike mumbled. "He's higher than a kite."

Her heart sank and she didn't respond.

He sighed heavily. "Come on, Maurice. We'll take you home."

"What?" He pointed toward the car. "I still got work to do."

"You're high." Faith's voice was quiet.

"It was just some weed."

"Oh, well. That makes it okay then."

"I had to. I needed it to work."

"Well, now you're goin' home." She walked over and took hold of his arm.

He tried to shrug out of her grasp. "Faith, I gotta work."

"No. You gotta start your program all over again."

Mike shook his head, and walked out of the garage ahead of them.

"Come on."

Maurice nearly tripped as Faith led him toward the exit.

Tears stung her eyes and she quickly blinked them back, ignoring Randy as he called after them, wondering where they were taking Maurice.

As soon as his brother was in the back of the RMP, and Faith was sitting in the passenger's seat Mike looked at Maurice in the rearview mirror. "Who gave it to you?"

"Huh?"

"Who gave you the drugs?"

She stared out the window, her gaze focused on the building.

"One of the guys."

"Which one, Maurice," Mike asked, irritated.

Maurice didn't answer, but turned his head to look at Randy who was standing at the entrance of the shop gawking at them.

"Thought so." Mike started the car, and pulled out into the street. "We'll get that son of a bitch later."

Faith closed her eyes, letting out a breath. This was going to be harder than she thought. A lot harder.
* * *
Mike came down the hall, carrying the clothes Maurice had been wearing. "I finally got him in the shower," he mumbled as he started digging through the pockets of his brother's clothing, making sure he didn't have any drugs.

"That's good," Faith said softly as she sat on the sofa, her hands folded on her lap.

"He doesn't remember exactly when he smoked it, but...I think he's gonna be comin' down soon." He tossed Maurice's work shirt on the floor, and started going through his jeans.

She nodded slightly, watching him as he went through his brother's clothes. She didn't have to look at him to sense his anger, his disappointment.

"He didn't even last a week," he muttered as he pulled Maurice's wallet out of the back pocket.

"He messed up."

"Yeah." He nodded his head as he opened the wallet and began searching through it. "Yeah he sure did."

"Michael." Her voice was soft.

Mike looked at her, the anger in his eyes barely hiding the sadness.

"We knew this wasn't gonna be easy."

"Right. But I didn't think he'd be startin' all over again after a couple days."

"It's gonna take time."

"I don't know how to do this, Faith. I mean...how many times do we let him screw up?" He pulled the money and credit cards out of his brother's wallet, and handed them to her.

She sighed softly and took the items from him. "I don't know either. I've never done this before."

"Me either cause all my other attempts failed."

Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, she drew in a breath. "I think I'm gonna take my vacation time."

"What," he asked softly.

"If I take my vacation time...maybe this'll be easier."

He let out a breath, and tossed Maurice's nearly empty wallet on the coffee table. "You shouldn't have to do that. He's my brother, so if anyone is taking vacation time..."

"Look...it's not like I have any family to spend vacation with anyway."

"Your vacation shouldn't be spent babysittin' a grown man coming off drugs."

"It's my decision."

Mike sat down heavily on the sofa. "I thought he was serious this time," he whispered.

"He is...he just slipped."

"He can't go back to work there. Too many of his crowd hangs out around the garage."

Faith nodded. "I know. He isn't gonna like it."

"If he's serious about this he'll get over it though," he said softly.

"I hope so."

"You were sayin' earlier that he got himself into a program, right?"

"Yeah," she said softly. "It looks like a good one."

He nodded his head. "They tell you anything about whether or not he should be tryin' to hold down a job?"

"No...but I can call."

"Probably a good idea." He glanced down the hallway then turned back to his partner. "I don't wanna set him up for failure, ya know? Cause if he's stressin' about a job it'll be that much harder."

"Yeah, you're right. I didn't even think about that." She closed her eyes, rested her head in her hands.

He leaned forward. "You okay with him staying here still," he asked softly.

"I don't think he should be stayin' on his own."

"No. I don't think so either...actually after today I don't think he should be doing anything on his own, but I just wanna make sure that you're still okay with him being here."

"Yeah. It's all right with me."

"We've still got a few hours left in our shift. What are we gonna do with him?"

She rubbed the back of her neck. "I could call in. Tell Lieu there's been a family emergency."

"Are you okay with that?"

Faith closed her eyes, nodding. "Yeah."

"Good cause the only other thing I could think of was handcuffing him to the radiator until you got home."

A short chuckle escaped her lips.

Mike grinned, and chuckled as well.

"What's the joke," Maurice asked as he walked through the living room, making his way into the kitchen.

She looked up, the smile fading from her face. "Just talkin' about a guy from work."

"Oh." He pulled open a cupboard in the kitchen looking for something to eat.

Raking a hand through her hair, she glanced over at her partner.

"You want me to stay," he asked her in a whisper.

"Do you wanna stay?" she whispered back.

"I can."

"That's not what I asked."

He glanced toward the kitchen. "I just keep thinking that I'm dumping him off on you, and I wanna help. I really do. But he's my big brother, and..."

"I know." Her voice was soft. She reached out and touched his arm. "Why don't you go back to work?"

Not meeting her eyes he nodded his head. "I'll call you in an hour or so, and I'll swing by on my way home."

"Michael."

"Hmm?"

"It's gonna be okay," she whispered.

"It has to be," he whispered back.

Faith shifted closer to where he sat on the sofa, and wrapped her arms around him in a hug. "I'm gonna take care of him."

He rested his head on her shoulder. "Thanks, Faith."

She nodded against him, rubbing his back gently. "Be careful out there, okay?"

"I will." He let out a breath before pulling away, and standing up. "I'll call you." He turned toward the kitchen. "Mo, I'm leaving. I'll see you later."

Maurice came to the entrance of the kitchen eating a bagel. "All ready? I was thinkin' we could order pizza or somthin'."

"Michael has to get back to work."

He looked at Faith. "What about you?"

"I'm stayin' here."

"Okay." He shrugged.

"I'll be back later, Mo, so don't...well, just take care."

"Later Mikey."

"Bye, Michael," Faith said softly as she watched him let himself out the door.

He gave her a small wave before closing the door behind him.

Maurice grinned. "So...we're alone."

She didn't return the smile. "Why don't you go lay down?"

His eyebrows furrowed. "Why? I'm not tired."

"No. You're high."

"It's not that big a deal."

"It is to me."

"I didn't mean to."

"You mean the joint just happened to jump into your mouth and force you to inhale?"

He gave her a look. "No."

"Then you meant to."

"I had to."

"No. You didn't. You -chose- to."

He ran his hand over his face. "I...I had to get my work done, and I needed it."

"You gotta quit that job."

"What? No." He shook his head. "I like my job. I can't quit. I don't wanna quit."

"It's just until you get clean."

Maurice stared at her for a moment then tossed the rest of his bagel in the garbage. "I'm goin' to lay down."

"You can be mad at me if you want."

"Good! Cause I am!"

Her face was a study of calmness. Seemingly not at all bothered by his anger. "Okay."

He headed down the hall, even more upset because she wouldn't fight back.

Faith closed her eyes and leaned back against the sofa, letting out a breath. It was gonna be a long night.
* * *
It had been nearly two hours since he'd taken off toward the back of her apartment and she hadn't heard a sound from that direction at all. She'd long since changed into a comfortable NYPD sweatshirt and sweatpants--not the most attractive attire, but she wasn't in the mood to be attractive. She let out a breath, unable to focus on the Lifetime movie she was watching. She shut off the TV and headed down the hallway, knocking very softly on the guestroom door.

"Go away."

Rolling her eyes, she opened the door and stepped into the room.

Maurice was stretched out on the bed, his hands clasped under his head as he stared up at the ceiling. He lifted his head. "What, cops don't understand what 'go away' means?"

"First of all, this is my place. Secondly, you're not my kid, so the pouting teenage 'go away' command doesn't work on me."

"So how does 'whadda you won't' work?"

"I wanna talk."

He laid his head back down, and looked away. "Not a whole lot to talk about. I screwed up. You and Mikey are pissed. Back to square one."

"I'm not pissed."

"No?"

"No." She sat down on the edge of the bed.

He closed his eyes, and was silent. He wanted to be mad at her because a fight with her would at least make him forget for a few moments how mad he was at himself.

"So you're gonna ignore me now?"

"No," he whispered. "I'm trying to be mad at you, and it's not working."

She looked at him over her shoulder. "You made a mistake. It happens."

"I didn't wanna do it. I told him I was trying to quit, but..." He swallowed hard. "When he held it out to me I just...I knew it would make me feel better."

Faith reached out and rested a hand on his shoulder.

"I was so happy to be back at work, doin' somethin', ya know? But I couldn't concentrate and my hands were shaking so bad. And the solution was -right- there."

"But it's only a temporary solution," she said softly.

He rubbed his face with both hands. "But it felt so good," he whispered.

Closing her eyes, she was silent for a moment. "I really think you should quit that job."

"You're right," he admitted quietly.

"It won't be forever."

"The way things are goin'...it might be."

"Well...you may not be able to go back to that particular job, but..."

"I'm not really cut out for much else. Tending bar, maybe."

"I just meant...at that garage. And don't sell yourself short."

He looked at her. "There ain't really a whole lot to sell."

"I disagree."

"Why's that," he asked softly. "What else is there that I can do?"

"Maurice...you're a smart man. And maybe...I don't know, I don't know you all that well, but...you've got a lot of unused potential."

He nodded his head slightly. "Guess I've got time to figure it out, huh?"

"I talked to my boss earlier." Her voice was soft.

His eyebrows furrowed. "About what?"

"I told him there was a family situation...and I needed to take my vacation time. He said it was fine."

"Faith, no. You can't do that," he told her softly. "You can't waste your vacation on me."

"You're not a waste."

He reached for her hand. "I'm sorry about today," he whispered.

She slid her fingers through his without hesitation. "I know." She leaned down and kissed his forehead.

"And I'm uh...I'm gonna call tomorrow...quit my job. So I can start the program again."

"Okay," she whispered, laying down beside him, propping her head up on one hand as she gazed at him.

Closing his eyes he let out a breath.

"Everybody makes mistakes. The important thing is that you learn from them."

He turned his head, and looked at her. "You ever made a mistake," he asked her seriously.

A chuckle escaped her lips. "Are you kiddin' me? I mess up all the time."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, of course."

"I don't wanna be your mistake," he whispered.

"Listen to me." She gazed at him seriously. "You're not a mistake. I don't think that."

"Thanks." He turned onto his side, and leaned over to kiss her.

She kissed him back softly, touching his cheek.

He slid his arm around her, and traced her lips with his tongue before pressing for entrance.

Faith's lips parted, a soft sigh escaping her as he deepened the kiss.

Maurice shifted closer to her as they kissed, and he slid his hand underneath her shirt.

Her skin felt warm where he touched her and she pulled away to catch her breath.

Gazing at her, his eyes still bloodshot from the drugs, he moved his hand around to the front of her body, and slowly slid his hand up to touch her breast.

Swallowing hard, she reached down and moved his hand away. "Not tonight," she said softly.

"Why not," he asked, his voice just as soft.

She gazed back at him, her eyes sad. "Because you're not back to normal and...I won't be with you under these circumstances."

"I'm not high," he whispered.

Faith closed her eyes. "No. But you were two hours ago."

He raked his hand through his hair. "But I..." Not sure what to say he took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly.

"Don't be," he told her, before placing a very soft kiss on her lips.

She leaned her forehead against his.

"There's gotta be consequences for my actions," he whispered.

"Maybe we could just...lay together and rest."

"Yeah." He nodded his head. "That'd be good."

She pressed a kiss to his cheek and then rested her head on the pillow beside his.

He draped his arm around her waist, and closed his eyes. "Thank you."

"I didn't do anything," she said softly, closing her eyes, as well.

"I'm still staying at your place, and you haven't ditched me. I'd say that's somethin'."

Faith shifted a little closer to him, resting her hand over his heart. "Rest, Maurice," she murmured.

He nodded his head slightly. "'night," he whispered.

"Night."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Faith woke up feeling the warmth of sunshine on her face. She stretched, yawning and reached out to Maurice. It only took her a moment to realize that he wasn't there. Opening her eyes slowly, she squinted against the light and sat up, glancing around the room. He wasn't in sight. Frowning deeply, she crawled out of bed and left the room, looking around but not finding him.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

* * *

Part Six

A million thoughts raced through her mind but only one stuck: he'd snuck out to get a fix. She rubbed the back of her neck, trying not to jump to conclusions. But she couldn't help but worry she'd let Maurice, and her partner down. Again.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Maurice lit another cigarette, and made a mental note to ask Faith to go with him to get another pack later. With the cigarette between his lips he stretched his arms high above his head, still trying to wake himself up even though he'd been out of bed for over an hour.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She paced the living room floor for a few moments, trying to figure out what to do. She didn't know whether to call Michael and tell him that his brother had gone missing because she'd been stupid enough to fall asleep while on guard duty.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
He took a long puff off the cigarette, and moved to sit on one of the stairs of the fire escape. Not paying attention to what he was doing he knocked over a plant that was sitting just outside Faith's window. "Shit." He quickly knelt down, turned the plant upright, and began trying to put the soil back in the pot.

The noise startled her and she spun around to face the window, letting out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding as she spotted him on the fire escape.

"Son of a bitch," he mumbled as most of the soil seemed to fall through the grating of the fire escape. Scooping up what he could he pushed the plant out of his way.

"Maurice?"

He quickly lifted his head. "Sorry, I didn't see it."

She was so relieved he hadn't taken off, she couldn't have cared less about the plant. "It's all right. It was dyin' anyway."

"Really?" He looked at the plant. "I'm not much of a gardener, so..."

A small smile tugged at her lips. "Really." She leaned against the edge of the window. "How's it goin'?"

He shrugged, and took another drag. "Well...I need more cigarettes."

"We'll go whenever you want."

"'kay. Thanks." He stood up, and leaned back against the railing. "I didn't wake you while I was makin' breakfast did I?"

Her eyes widened a little. "You made breakfast?"

He nodded his head. "Yeah. French toast, eggs and sausage. I hope you like French toast."

Faith was a little dazed by his announcement. "Yeah...I love it."

Maurice smiled softly. "I fixed us plates, and covered 'em with foil cause I didn't know when you'd be up. It's in the oven if you wanna go eat."

She returned his soft smile. "Only if you'll join me."

"Sure." He took one last puff off the cigarette before sticking it in the pot with the dying plant.

Holding her hand out, she helped him back inside the apartment, leaving the window open.

"I smell like an ashtray," he mumbled.

Faith ignored his comment and led him into the kitchen. "What do you want to drink?"

"I think I saw some orange juice. That'd be good." He went over to the oven, and retrieved their breakfast.

"One orange juice comin' up." She pulled the jug out of the fridge and grabbed a couple glasses from her cabinet.

He set their plates on the table, and removed the foil. "You need syrup for your French toast, or ketchup for your eggs," he asked as he headed over to the fridge.

"Hmm...both," she answered, pouring them both glasses of O.J.

"Woman after my own heart."

She paused at his words, watching as he opened the refrigerator.

He found the two bottles, and pulled them out. Standing up he met her gaze. "I do somethin' wrong?"

Faith shook her head, biting down on her lower lip. "No. Not at all. Everything looks really good."

"Then did I say somethin' wrong," he asked softly.

She shook her head again, managing a small smile. "Nope."

"Okay." He took the ketchup, and syrup over to the table.

After a moment, she sat down, watching as he did the same. Still feeling slightly bothered by his comment. She picked up the bottle of ketchup and poured some over her eggs.

As soon as she set the bottle down he picked it up, and did the same thing. "My mother always thought this was gross, but it was the only way I'd ever eat eggs when I was a kid."

"I used to eat ketchup on everything when I was younger. My dad made my mom stop buyin' it for like six months cause he thought it was disgusting."

"I woulda starved."

"Well, I lost about fifteen pounds and then my mom decided if she didn't start buyin' it again, I probably would starve, so..."

He chuckled softly then picked up the bottle of syrup. "Ketchup is like the cornerstone of my kitchen."

Faith smiled. "That and chocolate--can't live without 'em."

Picking up a fork he scooped up some eggs. "So I was thinkin'."

"'Bout what?"

"Maybe cooking meals can be part of my daily routine. I mean...if I cook okay."

She gazed at him. "Yeah?"

He nodded his head as he ate, then took a sip of orange juice. "I figure it'll keep me occupied for a good chunk of time each day, and it'll count for helpin' out around here."

"Wow. Santa Claus finally delivered."

Maurice laughed softly.

"I always wanted a sexy man to cook for me." She winked at him.

He raised his eyebrows.

"What?" she asked innocently.

"You think I'm sexy," he asked in a whisper.

"Of course."

He smiled at her. "I think you're sexy, too."

Faith felt her cheeks grow warm and she quickly took a drink of her juice.

Moving his fork to his other hand he reached his right hand across the table to take hold of her hand.

She slid her fingers through his, looking up and meeting his gaze. She had a feeling that today just might be better than the day before.
* * *
Maurice held her hand loosely as they walked toward the corner store that was a few blocks away from her apartment. It was shortly after they'd eaten breakfast, and he'd decided that they'd better make the cigarette run sooner rather than later. When they reached the entrance he pulled the door open for her.

"Thanks." She smiled at him and stepped into the store, glancing around.

"I think I'm gonna grab a magazine while we're here."

"Okay." She nodded and grabbed a shopping cart, figuring she'd pick up a few things she needed while they were there.

He headed over to the aisle with the magazines, and started browsing the shelves. It only took a few moments before there was a muscle car magazine in the bottom of the cart Faith had gotten.

"You want any juice or anything?"

"You mind if we pick up some soda?"

"No problem. What kind you want?"

He shrugged. "Whatever. I like Moutain Dew, or...well just as long as it's got caffeine."

Faith nodded and headed down the aisle with the soda. She picked up a 12 pack of Mountain Dew, and one of Pepsi.

"Is there anything else we need? I think I've eaten all the junk food," he mumbled.

"I could go for some cookies." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Cookies are always good." They walked silently over to the next aisle.

She picked up a couple packages of Oreo cookies, chocolate chip cookies and some fig newtons, setting them in the cart.

He chuckled softly. "You get the munchies, too?"

A small grin tugged at her lips. "Yeah, sometimes."

Maurice smiled as he gazed at her. "So...what else," he asked. "I think you're pretty stocked up on actual food for meals and stuff."

"I don't know. This looks like enough to me unless you can think of something else."

"As long as I don't forget cigarettes this should last me...oh a day or so."

Faith shook her head, smiling. "Come on." She turned the cart and headed for the check-out.

He followed closely behind. "Can I get a couple packs of Marlboros," he asked the cashier as he helped Faith unload the cart.

"Sure thing, Mister." The young man behind the counter reached behind him and pulled down two packs of the cigarettes, handing them to him.

"Thanks." He stuck the packs in his jacket pocket, and waited for all the items to be rung up before taking out his wallet to pay. His eyebrows furrowed when he saw that his wallet was empty except for his ID.

Faith bit her lip and nonchalantly took her wallet out of her purse, sliding a credit card across the counter.

Not believing his eyes he looked through his wallet again. "I swear I had..."

"I got it," she told him, barely glancing at him. She watched as the cashier ran it through the machine and handed it back to her. Scrawling her signature across the receipt, she tucked the card back into her wallet.

Maurice shook his head slightly, and put his wallet back in his pocket. "I'll pay you back as soon as I figure out what I did with my money."

"It's back at my place." She thanked the cashier and picked up the bags from the cart.

He grabbed the two twelve packs of soda, and gave her a questioning look.

Faith didn't offer further explanation, and didn't look at him as they headed out the door.

His eyes narrowed, but he remained silent.

She drew in a breath, shifting the sacks in her arms as she led the walk back to her place.

Neither of them spoke on the way back to her apartment, and the fact that she wasn't offering him any explanation of why his money and credit cards were no longer in his wallet only fueled the fire. As soon as she opened the apartment door he headed for the kitchen to put the soda in the refrigerator.

Faith closed the door behind them, locking it and then carrying the rest of the groceries into the kitchen. She set the bags on the counter.

"Where's my stuff," he asked.

"It's here." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before reaching into a sack and pulling out the cookies.

"Why'd you go through my wallet?"

She remained silent for a moment as she put the cookies in the cabinet and reached in to get the potato chips she'd picked up. "Michael and I thought it would be a good idea."

He leaned against the counter. "And you didn't think you needed to tell me?"

"Didn't wanna cause a fight."

"Oh, so you just waited until I tried to pay for something at the store?"

"I never asked you to pay for my groceries."

"And I never asked you to pay for my cigarettes."

"You can pay me back later."

"That's not the point!"

She didn't answer, just went about putting away the things she'd bought.

"I get why you guys took my money, but you shoulda talked to me about it!"

"Yeah, well at the time you were a little preoccupied."

"I meant later. You shoulda talked to me after."

"Didn't really think about it."

"So where's my money?"

"It's in a safe place."

"So I gotta get permission before I can spend it? Is that how this works?"

Faith turned to face him. "Pretty much."

His entire body was tense. "Did I lose -all- my rights last night?"

"You're the one who came to me askin' for help."

"I know that! But I didn't realize that I wasn't gonna be allowed to do anything for myself!"

She flinched ever-so-slightly at the anger in his tone, in his eyes. "It's not gonna be forever."

"Close enough."

"Well, I guess that depends on you, doesn't it?" She turned around again to finish unpacking the groceries.

"Hey, I'm tryin', okay?"

"I know that." She reached into the bag and pulled out his magazine, setting it on the counter.

"And you've got...you've got no idea what this is like." His words came out slightly strained.

Faith turned to look at him once more, her expression unreadable. "No?"

He shook his head. "No. You don't."

Her eyes narrowed slightly. "Maybe I don't know what it's like on -your- side of things, but I sure as hell know what it's like to live with an addict for years."

"I'm not your father."

"Thank God," she retorted.

"What the hell's that supposed to mean," he asked as he took a step toward her.

She didn't move away, her eyes dark. "You think you're the only one who has it rough, Maurice?"

"I never said that," he informed her. "But you don't know anything about how rough it is for me! You don't know what it's like to feel like this, and have the people you care about look at you with pity in their eyes cause they don't think there's any hope."

"If I didn't think there was hope, you wouldn't be stayin' with me."

"So why do you look at me like that?"

"Look at you like -what-?"

"Like you doubt me."

Faith didn't answer, simply gazed at him.

"You do, don't you?"

"I'm a cop. How'm I supposed to answer that?"

"You think I'm the same as all the others?"

She sighed. "No. I don't."

"I didn't come to you for help cause you're a cop, or even cause you're my little brother's friend."

"Then why did you come to me?"

He took a deep breath. "Because in those few days we were together I really thought that...I really thought that we could do anything, ya know? And I really liked you."

"And now?"

"Now I'm scared," he whispered.

She shook her head. "Of what? Me?"

"Of what you think about me."

"I like you, too."

"Do you like me?" He put his hands on his chest. "Or do you like the guy you thought I was before Michael told you everything?"

"What exactly is it that you're implying?" she asked, feeling irritated by the unspoken accusation.

"I wanna know if you accept me the way I am, or if when we're together you're thinking about who you want me to be?"

"Wow. You know, you have a lot of nerve."

"Excuse me?"

Faith shook her head, staring at him. "I'm doin' everything I can to help you because I care about you, and I care about your brother. You really think I'm foolin' myself here about who you are? About what you do? Because I wasn't born yesterday."

"Then tell me somethin'," he whispered.

"What?"

"Why is it that in the last few days we've only made love when I wanted a hit? How come we aren't together because we feel like being together?"

Swallowing hard, she shook her head. "I don't have an answer for that."

Maurice nodded his head, and looked away.

She could still sense his anger as easily as she felt her own, but she didn't know what to do or say, so she walked over to the sink and started to do the dishes.

He was quiet for a moment. "If you don't care about me in that way...I don't want you to feel obligated to have sex when..."

Faith dropped the plate she was washing into the soapy water with a thud, splashing water everywhere. "I never said I didn't care about you that way!" The frustration was obvious in her voice.

"But you never said you did."

"I have. In more ways than one. You just don't listen!"

"So this is all my fault?"

She closed her eyes, trying to force herself to take a deep breath so she could calm down.

He looked at her for a moment then turned to go into the living room.

Faith opened her eyes again, then followed him, wiping her wet hands on her jeans.

He sat down on the sofa, and ran his hands through his hair. "I'm just confused."

She was silent for a moment. "I don't sleep with someone if I don't care about them. I told you that first night that what happened between us...that was outta the norm for me."

Maurice nodded. "But are we...are we together? Dating?"

"I don't know what we are."

"That's what bothers me."

"I wish I had answers."

He was quiet for a few moments as he leaned his head against the back of the sofa, and closed his eyes. "Faith...you're one of the reasons I'm tryin' to get my act together."

She gazed at him for a moment, then slowly moved over to sit down beside him. "I want you to get it together because you want to get it together. Not because of me. Not because of Michael. Because you want to."

"When we were keeping our relationship a secret from Michael...You looked at me like I was somethin'. I don't know, it was like you looked at me like I was what you wanted. I wanna see that again."

Wordlessly, she leaned over and took his head in her hands, gazing at him intently for a moment before pressing her lips against his.

He was more than a little shocked, but he closed his eyes, and returned the pressure.

She traced her tongue over his lips, seeking entrance.

His lips parted, and his tongue met hers in a passionate kiss. He shifted slightly on the sofa, and rested his hand on her thigh.

She broke the kiss and moved her lips to his ear, whispering. "I still think you're somethin'. And I definitely want you."

He smiled softly, and lowered his lips to her neck. "I think you're somethin', too."

Faith began to undo the buttons on his shirt as she nibbled on his collarbone.

Suckling on her neck he began to work on taking off her blouse.

She shifted on his lap, shrugging out of the shirt and then kissing his chest lightly.

A moan escaped him as he tilted his head back. He reached around to unfasten her bra. His fingers fumbled momentarily, but it didn't take long before the garment was tossed aside.

Feeling his bare skin against her own made heat rise within her and she pressed her lips against his as she reached down to unfasten his jeans.

With one arm wrapped around her he slid his other hand between them, and cupped her breast. Gently rubbing his thumb over her skin. He eagerly kissed her back. Pulling on her bottom lip with his teeth before pressing his lips against hers again.

She moaned softly, pressing her hips down against his as their tongues dueled.

Maurice lifted his hips slightly then reached between them to unfasten her pants.

Swallowing hard, she nibbled on his neck, scraping her teeth lightly over his skin.

Groaning, he quickly undid the button, and eased down her zipper. "Let's get these off," he whispered.

Faith lifted herself off him so he could pull the jeans down.

He tugged her jeans and underwear down, and his hands settled on her backside. Leaning forward he began to kiss her chest.

Her eyes drifted shut and she held onto his shoulders for support as his lips trailed over her bare skin.

He kissed her torso then lifted a hand to one breast as he gently suckled on the other.

Her breathing began to grow heavy and she slid her fingers through his hair, pulling him closer to her.

Wrapping both arms around her he held her tight as he increased the pressure with his lips and tongue.

She trembled against him. "Please," she whispered.

Reluctantly he pulled away from her in order to work on taking off the rest of his clothes. He gazed at her, his eyes soft.

Faith leaned closer and kissed his collarbone, sliding one hand down to caress him.

He moaned, and only managed to get his jeans and boxers down to his knees before grabbing hold of her hips.

She gasped as he pulled her down onto him and she bit down lightly on his shoulder.

Swallowing hard he began to move within her slowly.

"Not slow," she murmured, raking her nails down his back.

Maurice wrapped one arm tightly around her waist, and lifted his other hand to her head, tangling his fingers in her hair. He nibbled on her earlobe as he began to thrust more quickly.

She pulled him closer to her, shifting to wind her legs around his waist as she moved with him.

"Gawd." He closed his eyes tight. "Yeah, that's..." A loud moan escaped his lips as they moved together quickly. He wasn't sure exactly what it was, but he could feel the difference as they made love this time.

Her breathing was ragged as she lifted off him and then quickly lowered herself back onto him.

"Faith..." He was sweating from the exertion, and the tension inside him was building rapidly. He kissed her shoulder, and her neck before kissing her lips.

Using her legs as leverage, she flipped them so she was beneath him on the sofa, a whimper escaping her lips as the action forced him deeper within her.

He pressed his cheek against hers, breathing heavily in her ear as he took hold of her hands, lifting them above her head as he slid his body over hers.

She lifted her hips to meet his, tightening her legs around his waist. "Please..."

Letting go of her hands he braced one hand on the back of the sofa, his other on the arm as he drove himself faster, deeper. He gazed down at her.

She leaned up to kiss him urgently, all rational thought gone from her mind at the intensity of their act. She clenched her inner muscles around him.

He captured her lips, kissing her just as urgently as he rocked his hips against hers. Teetering on the edge.

She whimpered again, finally understanding the meaning of the phrase 'hurt so good.' She wrapped her arms around him tightly.

Gazing at her intently he buried himself deep within her one more time. He gasped loudly as he felt his release and his body shuddered.

Closing her eyes, she laid her head back against the couch, holding him against her.

He was still for a moment. Then, finally drained of all energy he carefully laid his body down on hers.

She slid her hands down his back, caressing him gently as tears filled her eyes. She kept them shut so he didn't see.

Maurice placed a soft kiss on her cheek then rested his head on her shoulder.

They lay quietly together for a long time. "Love you," she murmured as she drifted off to sleep, still holding onto him.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
He'd been shocked to say the least when she'd uttered those two soft words before falling asleep. By the time he'd gotten his wits about him, and tried to question her about it, it was too late...she was all ready sleeping peacefully.

It had been nearly two hours ago that she'd said she loved him, and for the first thirty minutes or so he'd been trying to figure out if he'd heard her right. After that he'd spent a while just gazing at her as they lay on their sides, their bodies tangled together. Though he'd been exhausted her words had managed to wake him completely, and now he laid with her, wide awake gently running his fingers up and down her arm.

She murmured in her sleep and snuggled closer to him.

Maurice placed a soft kiss on her lips, a smile coming to his face as he pulled back to gaze at her. He ran his fingers through her hair.

Her eyes opened slowly, a faint smile on her lips. "'Morning," she murmured.

"Hi," he whispered softly. "I didn't mean to wake you...I mean, not really."

"It's okay." She closed her eyes again, resting a hand against his chest.

He kissed her lips gently. He'd had a couple hours to think about what he was going to say to her, but he still wasn't sure just what to say.

"What time is it?"

"Eleven," he told her softly.

She nodded slightly, resting her forehead against his collarbone.

"Do you remember what you said to me," he asked in a whisper.

Her eyebrows furrowed. "Hmm?"

"Before you fell asleep...you remember what you said?"

She thought back, trying to remember what they'd been talking about, but the last thing she remembered was making love to him and falling asleep in his arms.

He frowned. "You don't remember."

"What did I say?"

He swallowed hard. "You said you loved me," he told her softly.

The breath caught in her throat. The one thing she'd been trying not to admit--to herself, and especially not to him--she'd uttered as she fell asleep.

Maurice searched her eyes. "So...you didn't mean it?"

She looked away, trying not to panic. "I uh..."

"It's okay. You just got caught up in the moment."

Faith bit her lip. "Yeah," she murmured, hurt by what she thought was relief in his voice.

He sighed, and rested his head on the sofa cushion. He closed his eyes, and ran his hand back and forth over her hip.

She closed her eyes, as well, swallowing hard as she lay beside him motionless.

"So you really didn't mean it," he asked in a whisper.

"Maurice..."

"I'm sorry. It's okay...really."

She sat up slowly and turned away from him, reaching for her clothes.

"Hey...I didn't mean to upset you." He gently rubbed her back.

"You didn't," she lied softly.

"I must have."

"No, it's just..." She sighed softly and tucked a tangled piece of hair behind her ear.

He didn't say anything instead he just ran his hand up and down her back, waiting for her to continue.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Why are you apologizing?"

"I don't really know."

Sitting up he kissed her shoulder then reached for his boxers, and jeans. He dressed quickly and grabbed his lighter. "I'm gonna go smoke."

"Okay." She didn't look up as he dressed and headed for the window.

He got out on the fire escape, and then stuck his head back through the window. "Faith?"

"Yeah?" Her voice was slightly strained.

"I um...well..." He ran his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry about the argument, and I..."

"It's okay. I think uh...I'm gonna take a quick shower." She rose to her feet, gathering her jeans off the floor.

"I really care about you...a lot," he told her softly.

Swallowing hard, she nodded. "Yeah. Me too."

He leaned against the windowsill. "Maybe someday you'll love me," he whispered.

Tears stung her eyes and she pressed a hand against her stomach as she headed down the hallway toward the bathroom.

He watched her walk away before pushing himself away from the window, and lighting a cigarette. Leaning against the railing he stared down at the alley below. At least while she was sleeping he got to think she loved him for a couple hours.
* * *
Faith's face was pale and her eyes red-rimmed as she opened the door to find her partner standing on her doorstep.

"Hey. Come on in."

Mike studied her for a moment before stepping inside. "What's wrong," he asked softly.

"Been a long day." She shook her head, not meeting his eyes.

"Somethin' happen? Did Maurice do somethin'?"

"No," she said softly, rubbing the back of her neck. "He's sleeping."

"Tell me what's goin' on," he whispered, reaching out to touch her arm.

Wordlessly she rested her head against his shoulder, her body trembling.

"Hey." He wrapped his arms around her. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know," she whispered, leaning against him for support.

"Let's go sit down." He slowly walked her over to the sofa.

She wiped her eyes as she sat down beside him.

Mike kept one arm wrapped around her. "Talk to me," he whispered. "I wanna help."

She rested her head against his. "I'm in love with him." Her voice was strained, but barely audible.

His eyebrows furrowed slightly. "With who...Maurice," he asked in a whisper.

Faith nodded wordlessly.

He swallowed hard. "Um...wow."

She rested her head in her hands.

He gently rubbed her back. "Does it...well does it bother you?"

"Yes," she whispered. "It does."

"Because of the drugs," he whispered back.

"Because he can't love me."

"I don't understand."

"He's got an addiction, Michael. He loves the drugs. There's no room for anything else."

"Does he know how you feel," he asked softly.

"I told him last night...when I was fallin' asleep...I didn't mean to. I didn't even remember."

"And what'd he say?"

"He asked if I meant it."

"And?"

"And what? I didn't know what to say."

"So he knows that you love him, or he doesn't know?"

"I denied it," she whispered.

He took a deep breath. "Maybe...if you love him...you should let him know. I mean, maybe it'd help him."

"Michael...he doesn't feel that way about me. He was...relieved when I denied it. I could hear it in his voice."

"Are you sure? I mean...Maurice has always been really good at hiding how he feels. That's kinda why he started using," he told her softly.

She swallowed hard, rubbing her face. "I'm not sure about anything anymore," she whispered.

"If you want, Maurice can stay with me."

Faith let out a breath. "I think I just need to go for a walk. Clear my head."

"Yeah. Okay. I'll stay here until you get back."

"Thanks," she said softly, standing up slowly.

"Hey, Faith?"

"Yeah?"

"I think if you told him how you feel...it might give him something to look forward to. He's never been able to keep a relationship going, ya know?"

"Or maybe it will just add to the pressure he's already feeling," she whispered.

"Either way it's a tough spot."

"I'm sorry I'm dumpin' all this on you."

"Hey. You don't have to worry about that. You should know that by now."

"Thanks, Michael," she said softly, gazing at him.

He smiled. "Sure. Have a good walk."

"I'll be back soon," she promised as she headed for the door.

"Take your time." He watched as his partner left her apartment, and he leaned back against the sofa cushions. This had to be the weirdest situation he'd ever been in. His best friend had fallen in love with his drug addict older brother. He couldn't help but wonder how it would turn out, and who would get hurt in the end.