...theres always that one person who well always have your heart...

[xsweetkisses8x]

today woke up mad early 9am!! lol the whole family slept over lol the baby woke me up but my cousin is such a dollface i love her sooo much my bella babii...but i got ready n went to the mall with terry n then met up with sheena kevin n hunter lol got some shirts tired to dress kevin up but nooo lol we had fun at the mall im thinkin im gona have to build a wall inbetween hunter and kevin lol they fight 24-7 but lol its normal kinda lol takin pictures in the boot madd fun lol good times after that sheena came back to my house n we watched the "passion" omg so sad seriously thats not a movie to joke about it had a reallly meaningful message...and then kevin called n we talked to him for like 2 hours fun fun fun times on the phone lol im a fiene kevin lol 6 days haha...not even for a million NO ......ugh...okay im like seriously depressed kinda i miss my boo i havnt talkd to my jo jo boo in 2days i miss him if my phone wasnt dead id call him but i left my charger at my aunts n her doors are boareded shut thats just peachy but seeing sheena n kevins relationship makes me sad because i know ill never have anything close to what they have because my luck n i try with guys maybe i try to hard but i fall so fast n they all just let me hit the ground n dont make an effort to catch me no no effort at all i just want someone n who i want well its gettin old im excepting what we have n thats all ill ever have with him but i cant get him off my mind but i need to i need to move on and start over maybe if i moved away like i obc id find a nice lil surfer instead of a consided asshole but what can i do whats done is done but idk i cant keep telling myself its gona happen on day when almost 2 years has gone by and jackshits happend well stuff has happend but not anything like worth my while i miss how i used to be slutty well i dont miss it i was just happy for a lil while..i was always with guys n they told me exaclty what i wanted to here n i wasnt worried about it cause i had the attention i wanted n everything was fine untill i got a bad rep witch is still with me unforunaly but i would NEVER EVER be like that again ive done so much in my power to strighten up id never fuck up again just sometimes i look back on all that its weird im just praying that one day i will find my mr.right...thers just so much you can take i think i dont know ugh wtf why is my lfe so diffucult ugh! nobody understands me at all im just like talking into the fucking air spilling my heart out n what nothing jack shit happens nothing at all! im sick n tired of this bullshit sometimes i wish i stayd in Jersey never moved here what my life would be like....i just want everything to be put on stop and rewind so ppl would get to know the real me not just a illison of a rumor that was spread because someone cant keep there mouth shut of have nothing better to say but im not worryin its doen i cant change the past but yeah idk its weird katie jo's commin soon so maybe that will change alot when i see that girl im gona start to ball out into tears i love her so much...o yeah stephanie got home today from her crusise we'll chill stephy promise but ugh alot of my mind ugh i miss my cousin amanda at least i can talk to her wish she was here ilu mandah! but im just gona think it over n not worry too much dont need any worry lines my face is already to fucked up sheenas been alseep for like an hour i left her so goin to bed...nighty nightys

xoxo
Lil Lauren