I decided it was time for a long live journal entry, because I have a million thoughts in my head and I can't organise them. I can't talk them out with anyone because I feel judged, and everyone's immediate response is "leave" "you can do better" "get out while you can" but you know what, I wish it was as simple as that ( Read more... )

And it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of the tunnel is just a freight train coming your way ( Read more... )

Apparently there is a pattern.

Every break up I treat the same. Or, react in the same way.

I don't respond, by crying and letting myself feel the misery, loss and change of a break-up, instead I become reckless. I do things I know I shouldn't do, but don't care about. I smoke, do weed, drink.. do anything to numb my mind. It's getting into all the ( Read more... )

Two minds, Two Minds two minds.

i just cant work it out.

up and down up and down.

and now there is you. for nothing more than anything other than what we've never had.

but still,

i feel so fucking lonely.

iguessit'sallpartoftheprocess.

I don't think it's that Im not a perceptive person, I think im just overly defensive.

I refuse to believe assumptions or assessments people make about me, especially if I see them in a negative light.

I tend to just refute and get really upset and angry without thinking.

I need to learn to calm down and actually LISTEN more, and not take everything so ( Read more... )

deleted entry.

sometimes its so much easier to pretend you don't feel half the things you do.

im sick of being on such a highlystrung rope.

Im always highly strong.

why the fuck can't i just relax?

Wow.

For someone who hates themselves, you do a pretty good job of hating me and making me feel like im pathetic and worthless.

One minute you adore me, and the next you patronise me and make me feel like nothing I can do is right.

Then you tell me im beautiful

and then tell me 'we don't add up'.

Im fucking sick of the games. It's only been 2 weeks. ( Read more... )

I hate that he's done this to her.

That stupid pig.

I wish she could see how fucking amazing and sweet she is, but all she sees is crap, because he's a pathetic slob.

God is dead so meet the kids now: they're on stage for you
Download them all sale and pale and used
Every night's exaggerated but there's nothing new
These neon lights could never shine through you

But underneath our conversation an unspoken truth
If you wait for me, I'll wait for you

So meet me underneath the station and I'll wait for you
These cardboard ( Read more... )