Fic: You're the one I'm dreaming of - Chapter 7
Title: You're the one I'm dreaming of
Author: xredSunburstx
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: N14+ for later Chapters
Summary: Arizona and Callie met the first time in High School and both of them know there's a connection, a special feeling they want to give in. But it's harder than they thought and years are passing until they are able to see each other and be together again.
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me, only the idea and words of this fanfiction. They belong to my thoughts and my heart.
Chapter 7 - Happy ever after
We are blessed with a birth and a death, and in - between we are blessed with fairytales.
When we grow up we watch Disney movies and we even dress up like them. I, for example, always dressed up like Snow White and I loved it.
When we are younger our parents got books of fairytales and right before we were drifting of to sleep they adducted us into another world, and secretly everyone loves fairytales, even when they are grown up. In our hectic, stressful and often lifeless world in which we almost don't know what life and love really means we clung onto this stories. Secretly we think about them each and every single day.
And you know why we do it?
We do it, because in fairytales there's always a happily ever after! Despite the ugly and bad step - mothers, poisoned apples, witches, monstrosities and wolves; despite lies, swindling, hate and jealousy. Despite of all the bad things, the good and pure always win. There's always hope, and hope eventually leads to a happy end.
And so we wait all of our lives for our own happy ending, and we hope that someday, that maybe soon at the end of our own book, called life, there will be standing:
And they lived happily ever after.
(Calliopes pov)
I don't know what happened to my life. I don't know how one night made my dreams come true. Sometimes you can't believe that life is actually not kicking your ass. Last night changed everything and finally made me believe that love is sometimes nearer than you think.
I couldn't sleep, because all I was seeing in front of my eyes were her face. I was touching my still trembling lips, thinking how she touched me, how she whispered my name in the softest and alluring way. She made me squirm under her touch, she made me tremble. She made my head spin and she took my breath away, until all I did was whispering and moaning her name.
Yes, last night changed everything, but I didn't know how it would leave me back. I never thought how this would go out. All I could think about were us, how we could be, how awesome we would be.
And when I was standing up to go into school to help to clean up after last evening, I just hoped I would see her, talk to her and secretly I wished I could kiss her again.
I entered the hall where everyone was, where I hoped she would be but when I first saw her, when our eyes connected she suddenly looked away, shyly, immediately, intentionally like it was a sin to look at me, but I tried to not care. I tried to compose myself before I walked up to her.
And when I'm there I simply say "Hello…" and she's replying, without looking at me, that's when I start to worry. But still I try to smile and so I ask:" You need help?"
She's silent, blinking and I guess, I hope it's just her headache, her hangover which is making her untouchable and cold and even she says "Not really, thanks." I still hope and I keep standing there, following her when she's standing up and walking away with two buckets in her hands, filled with things that are needed to be cleaned up.
"Come on, Arizona. If I help you it's going faster and we are finished quicker. So please. Don't be stubborn and let me help you…" The first half hearted smile she's giving me while she's heading to the bathroom, handing me one of the buckets, but she's still not talking, standing beside me while we are cleaning up the coloured brushes. She's still not saying what's wrong, what suddenly changed.
And when I'm about to open my mouth, she suddenly says something that makes me crumble.
"I remember our kiss…" She says dryly. Still not looking up.
"What?"
"I… I remember that we kissed last night…. But it shouldn't have happened…" Her voice is shaking, trembling like my heart… Something that means so much to me is something she is regretting.
Was it all a game? Was it just because she was drunk, not knowing what she did?
"I'm… sorry… I'm really sorry, A" Was all I could say, before she was rambling on.
"We are girls and I… I have a boyfriend… and he… he called today and he said he is sorry... and I… this is not going to happen again…"
And with that I'm crumbling even more. How could I believe we could be something? How could I believe she wanted and enjoyed it as much as I did?
"it's okay… Arizona… I'm sorry…"
"He is a nice guy… somehow… and I… I don't do the cheating… I never cheat and what we did wasn't right…" She rambles without stopping one moment and I start to get angry. I am hurt enough, why couldn't she let it go? It hurts enough…
"Who do you want to proof something? Ari, it's okay! I understand, okay? Slow down a moment. It's me you are talking to… I'm not a danger…"
"Yes… yes… you are…" She says confessing, almost whispering, almost shouting, now looking me straight into the eyes and my heart is bursting apart.
"You are dangerous to me… you are… but… we aren't good… the people would talk… and the talk wouldn't be good…"
I can't believe what she's saying. I can't believe that she's forgetting, not thinking what was between us, after our first kiss. I can't believe she's ignoring the fact… that we… that we could be perfect…
"Maybe it would be good…" I say, but she's not listening. She's silent, looking me into the eyes, before she's replying after a long pause:
"We shouldn't see each other again…"
And then she's the one who makes my heart dropping, freezing instead of heating it up.
"What? That's… that's hardly realizable, Arizona… we are going to the same school and… and we are working here together for our next production… Just… slow down… Everything's alright… Nothing happened…" It hurts me to say it, but I can't loose her.
"Nothing is alright! I care about him… I care for him…. Somehow… I… and I don't cheat."
I can't stay away from her.
"Ari…" I whisper when I'm walking up to her, until I'm standing right in front of her, taking her wrist.
I can't let her go.
"don't touch me… DON'T touch me!" She first whispers, before she says it out loud, making my heart crumble until almost nothing is left there. And so I look a last time into her blue, deviated, devastated and confused ocean. And so I almost start to cry my heart out, leaving the badass girl I'm usually am behind when I'm starting to turn walk away from her, walking out of the door.
But suddenly I feel her hand around my wrist, holding me back and I don't what do to, I don't know what's suddenly happening when she's murmuring words I'm never going to forget. Words which are heating the air up immediately.
"Please… touch me…" I turn around and I look into her burning eyes, her desperate and longing eyes. And I don't think, I don't wait. She can't get enough of me, like I can't get enough of her, even she tells herself the same thing over and over again. Her body and her eyes are saying something different than her mouth.
I just want to feel her all over me. I just want to feel her and touch her. I just want to taste her again. I want her so much… so much…
And so I shove her into the wall, my lips immediately founding its way to hers, parting her mouth, our tongues starting a sensual game. The atmosphere is heating up, like our bodies it's on fire and I can't breathe because of her.
She's taking everything away from me. My breathe, my sanity, my life and all she's giving me is insanity, a new life, a fire which is burning deep inside, sending electrifying flies through my whole body.
It is passion. Every touch and every whisper, every moan and every whimper is filled with passion and unbearable lust. The kiss is hungry and our hands are roaming over each others body. And I push myself into her as I'm leaving a wet line from her lips to her exposed neck, kissing a point I already found last night. A point that made her moan and makes her moan again.
"touch me more… please… oh good god… Calliope…" she whispers my name seductively and we end up grinding into each other slightly. We both want more, our kisses starting to get hungry each second that passes and we can't stop. No, we can't…
"Arizona? Are you in there?"
…stop.
As soon as a male voice reached our ears we are stopping immediately. She's shocked, because she knows she has to leave this world, a world where I'm her lover, again and get back into reality.
Life is haunting her, like reality is hunting me madly. And this is the end of us.
She is the one who is tearing us apart, touching her lips like she sinned once more and I wish she wouldn't just leave. I wish she would say something else, giving me the feeling that there's a chance for us, but there isn't, when she's running away from me as far as she can, I'm sitting there, crumbled and crying in a dirty bathroom.
I want to forget her, before it's breaking me completely, but I can't. Because… when I close my eyes I'm seeing last night right in front of my eyes, haunting me and leaving me back devastated.
"Shhhhh, Ari… you have to be quiet! You're gonna wake them up!"
I say, laughing as hard as she do, while I'm helping here up the stairs. Fortunately I already know where her room is, because she is too drunk to tell me anything except of funny stories and how funny the door look like or the stairs or everything. I never thought that everything could be happy like that, but she's laughing, all the time and her hands are never leaving my body. Always touching me, somehow, anyhow, everywhere.
And when we are finally reaching her room she immediately stumbles onto her bed, where she lays, still laughing like I just told her the funniest joke in the world, and she doesn't seem to stop and laughing makes it hard for her to undress herself and wear something more comfortable to sleep. And while I'm not trying to peek she suddenly calls out for me.
"Calliope…"
"Huh?" I ask, coughing as I see her on top of the bed, struggling with her shirt. I can see a part of her bare belly and I, immediately, want to touch her there.
"Could you help me get out of this?"
Okay… I never imagined undressing the girl I find miraculous stunning while she's drunk.
But though I walk up to her, coming close, but not close enough to help her actually out and to be honest my badasss image is gone.
Somewhere else, laughing hysterical because of watching me. I'm shy, maybe red as a tomato. Thank god that at night it's dark and he was only creating small stars in the sky and not big fat neon sign which could lighten up a room like hers, cause that's not what I need right now. Right now I just need to hide my nervousness.
She's just so beautiful…
"Everything's alright?" She asks innocently, biting her lips and I feel like she ab-solut-ely knows what she is doing to me right now.
"Of course…" I reply, clearing my throat before I'm kneeling down on her oversized bed where she lays, still struggling with her clothes.
And it starts with shaking hands when I pull the shirt over her head and it continues with longing glances and barely touches.
She lies there only wearing her black bra and she's waiting for me to do something and even I know it might be not the perfect time, my hands are working without the permission of my head, but with the powerful and undeniable permission of my heart.
It starts with a soft stroke of my hands on her belly and it leads to hands wandering further more.
It leads to my hand softly squeezing her breasts through the fabric of her bra.
It leads to Arizona closing her eyes, whispering my name.
It leads to a kiss which is eventually leading to myself, positioning beneath her legs, her arms around my upper body, and my hands tangled in her blond wavy curls.
It leads to something I never experienced, not like this.
It leads to pure and kind affection.
It leads to laying half naked on the top of the girl I was falling for at the first sight, kissing her pulse point, finding her sensitive spot.
All of that happened in a night I almost called our night, until alcohol lead to distracting her mind and her stomach…
She stumbled out of the bed to her buck in which she puked heavily.
But when she thought I'd go, because I don't want to see that, because it's kind of disgusting I stayed. I walked up to her and pulled blond curls out of her face, behind her earlobe. I looked in her still beautiful but exhausting looking face, before I pulled her into my arms and helped her into the bed.
And when she thought I'd go, because I wasn't ready to do this, because I wasn't staying when she was exhausted like this, when she needed me, I lay with her, my arms around her body, our hands intermingling. I stayed to show her that I'd never leave if she needed me, that this wasn't an experience and fun thing for me. For me it was real, filled with compromises and true love.
And so I stayed until she drifted of to sleep and I fell in love with her even more.
This night was our night, the beginning of everything, until reality caught us and never let us go again…
(Arizona's pov)
Memories are just like dreams.
There are good and bad dreams, dreams that leaves you breathless and praying to something invisible. Good dreams are there to let you think about the things you had, but lost. Bad dreams are simply revealing what is missing and what you can't stop thinking about.
And with her it's just the same. Good Memories are turning into bad memories, because there's nothing I can do about. I can't go back and change what happened. I can't change what made the good memories to bad once.
I just sit there, smiling and crying, thinking about what could have been if we met each other in another time and at another place.
I wish I could build up other good memories with her…
Because no one ever loved me like she does.
And I never loved someone as much as I love her…
And I wished there could be a happily ever after…
Authors Note: Just a little spoiler here for you…
Next Chapter is a song Chapter with the song "Caught up in your love" covered by genius Emily Elbert. ;-)
And thanks to who commented... you are so sweet =)