definitely file under outtakes
so i got an invite to a BBQ today from Amanda, who is one of my best friends in the universe. "bring something good and bring that Jeopardy star with you" were her instructions. (her response after the show was to txtmsg me: WEEMS? WTF?) so i made up a championship ceviche of shrimp & salmon that rated about a 35 on a scale of 10 for the occasion.
anyway, the theme of the party was N'Awlins, and she and her husband picked up 100 oystyrs from the Hog Island Oyster Co. for the occasion, which are absolutely incredible. so, so good. food of the gods.
now, i havent shucked an oystyr in nearly 20 years, so the first one was clumsy, but all it took was one before i got the hang of it again, and then Chef Jakcass was shucking those suckers in seconds. seriously, i am a badass.
i had eaten about a dozen or so, was primed to eat a dozen more, but about this time i was also onto my 4th 5th nth Sazerac, so i was a bit ... well ... pleasantly imbibed, and i picked up a particularly jagged and ridged oystyr just when someone asked me a question, and i turned my head, instinctively closed my right hand over the mollusk and ...
"um ... ow ..."
the edge of the shell jabbed into my palm.
so now there is blood everywhere and Amanda has to play EMT on me in the bathroom, tending to my huge gash while also mocking me appropriately for being an idiot.
"this is just going to be ANOTHER story," she said, having endured me being drunk and stupid about 1000 times before.
"you have permission to make fun of me," i replied.
"oh, as if i wouldnt do that anyway."
so i wind up with my hand all bandaged, taped up and gauzed over, and i was just sort of embarrassed after that. i was Quiet for a bit and wanted to sulk in the corner for a while. after that fiasco was over, Amanda just sort of shook her head whenever she approached me, smirking at me, while Kevin, her husband, thought it all was hysterical and kept offering me drinks anyway.
xp = dumbass
well, i definitely made the party memorable.
anyway, the theme of the party was N'Awlins, and she and her husband picked up 100 oystyrs from the Hog Island Oyster Co. for the occasion, which are absolutely incredible. so, so good. food of the gods.
now, i havent shucked an oystyr in nearly 20 years, so the first one was clumsy, but all it took was one before i got the hang of it again, and then Chef Jakcass was shucking those suckers in seconds. seriously, i am a badass.
i had eaten about a dozen or so, was primed to eat a dozen more, but about this time i was also onto my 4th 5th nth Sazerac, so i was a bit ... well ... pleasantly imbibed, and i picked up a particularly jagged and ridged oystyr just when someone asked me a question, and i turned my head, instinctively closed my right hand over the mollusk and ...
"um ... ow ..."
the edge of the shell jabbed into my palm.
so now there is blood everywhere and Amanda has to play EMT on me in the bathroom, tending to my huge gash while also mocking me appropriately for being an idiot.
"this is just going to be ANOTHER story," she said, having endured me being drunk and stupid about 1000 times before.
"you have permission to make fun of me," i replied.
"oh, as if i wouldnt do that anyway."
so i wind up with my hand all bandaged, taped up and gauzed over, and i was just sort of embarrassed after that. i was Quiet for a bit and wanted to sulk in the corner for a while. after that fiasco was over, Amanda just sort of shook her head whenever she approached me, smirking at me, while Kevin, her husband, thought it all was hysterical and kept offering me drinks anyway.
xp = dumbass
well, i definitely made the party memorable.