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Jul 26, 2008 22:25

Title: *no titles yes* T_T

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tezukafuji, fic

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Comments 9

chibikaoruchan July 26 2008, 18:03:17 UTC
Oh my god, you wrote a fic!!!! I'm so deadly happy!!
(Ive found a few grammatical and spelling errors, but I don't think I will nit-pick them... I'm not yet good enough in english to beta or anything. >_< Gomen!)

ZOMG Tezuka jealous is LOVE!! And how unusual, Fuji is changing... I can't wait for the rest! Please update soon! =)

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xpeart July 26 2008, 18:37:14 UTC
i know,,, i think i missed some grammar and spelling
when i check it it my word,, it even made me more confuse... so i let it be raw~~

no, please.. if you think there some mistakes please tell me, i'll correct it as soon as possible *bow* it really do help me a lot,,, since we all are still learning^^ 8bows*
thx for commenting...

now i'm still figuring out what to do next,,,
have any ideas??
well that's the main plot of this,,, fuji is changing ^^, i guess living 5years with tezuka made him that way...
but i hope i dont change him that much -_- *gomen if i do*

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chibikaoruchan July 27 2008, 00:04:56 UTC
>_< I understand your situation! When I started writing, Ay1_Puff and Tacuma811 both nit-picked me, and I improved a lot. ^^ So I guess I will tell you a few...

'Every morning, Tezuka would wake up founding Fuji already in the kitchen reading newspaper.' It must be 'finding Fuji...'

'Fuji starts to read newspaper or watch afternoon news, which is really “usually’ it had been Tezuka’s afternoon habit. should be "which is 'usually' Tezuka's afternoon habit."

'As he smiled and gave a kiss is Tezuka’s peck.' It should be either 'and gave Tezuka a kiss' or 'and kissed Tezuka' or 'and pecked on Tezuka's cheek' or something. ^^

Thats about it... the rest are minor errors. ^^

OMG can you make next chappie something like Tezuka noticed that Fuji spends less and less time with him due to work/friend/school anything? I'd LOVE to see Tez jealous!! ^___^

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forbiden_past July 26 2008, 18:41:15 UTC
The prologue is really interesting^^
I really want to know why Fuji changed, this fic kinda mysterious, ne XDD

I waiting for the next chapter^^
Thanks for sharing^^

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xpeart July 26 2008, 18:54:26 UTC
thank you tooo *bows*
happy birthday \\^_^//, *did you celebrate it??*

maa~~ now i'm stuck XP
hahaha yes i'll continue for you XD,, i hope the next one will be more better... *thinking for a next chapt for this prologue*
mysterious hmmm.. lets just see XD

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eliza_natsuko July 27 2008, 02:41:35 UTC
it's not bad at all! in fact, it's really good! :D
i see fuji's symptoms.. it's called 'i-wanna-start-a-family symptom XD
can't wait for the next chapter to come!

by the way, shouldn't Yumiko's son be fuji's nephew, not cousin? ^^;

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xpeart July 27 2008, 10:37:05 UTC
hwaaaaa... you got me.. you see through me XD
congratz, you read my mind!!
hahahhahaaaaaa

i knew it,,, so its nephew ^^ thx
i'll change it *bows*

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lovefujitez July 27 2008, 13:03:41 UTC
This is a good start! Thanks for writing, only way you can develop and hone your writing skills. I encourage you to continue, just be careful with your sentence construction and spellings.

I commend you for finally posting your work...keep on going and I look forward to your work.

Cheers, j

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tacuma811 August 1 2008, 19:31:20 UTC
You wrote a fic!!!! For all of us! Thank you!!!

I really like it! I wanna know what will happen next!!
I wanna know why Fuji changed! ^___^

"wasabi is FUJI" So true!

It's a really good start, can't wait for more!

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