Comments | xoxocamp: Weekly Challenge #1

ifancycrush in xoxocamp

Weekly Challenge #1

Jul 29, 2013 00:53

Title: A Trip To Remember
Pairing: Kyungsoo/Kris-centered, bff!Tao/Sehun, Luhan/Jongin
Rating: G
Genre: general/friendship
Length: 2573 words
Summary/Warnings:

( „Jerk,“ Kyungsoo scoffed.
„Wimp,” Kris retorted. )

rating: g, length: one-shot, weekly challenge #1, genre: general/friendship, !fanfic, author: ifancycrush

Comments 7

kfangirl4 July 29 2013, 00:11:47 UTC

I hope you are going to continue this story as I have found it quite enjoyable and would definitely read more if you choose to write it.

ifancycrush July 29 2013, 17:07:21 UTC

Why, thank you, I'm glad you like it ^-^
(In my mind the story didn't really end there anyway, so I'll think about continuing it.)

anonymous July 30 2013, 10:10:29 UTC

this was very cute!! aside from few (i mean very few, like they could've just been typos) grammatical errors and some confusion about who was talking at certain points, i found this story enjoyable and the plotline to be very manly but fruity all the while.

ifancycrush July 30 2013, 17:36:05 UTC

Thank you, I'm happy to hear that!
(Sorry for the errors/confusion though ><)

anonymous August 15 2013, 07:32:09 UTC

Hello!

I read your piece and this is one piece of constructive crit: Show don't tell. I feel that there's a lot and a lot of straight up telling in your writing style. It'd be good to show how someone felt during the fic as well. Right now, I feel as if it's just this happened, then they said this, then this happened. After a while, it can become a bit of a drag.

But apart from that, your fics are cute!

gokulex59 August 17 2013, 11:27:22 UTC

There were some imperfections about the setup then and there, but nothing major. It was a fun read actually, thank you for writing!

anonymous August 17 2013, 16:48:47 UTC

Aah this fic was really cute!

There were some parts that were a bit confusing, but I think it was confusing because there was too much new information being given out at one time. Instead of giving the reading a lot of new facts to digest, I think it would be better to introduce new information slowly. (This goes along with the show, don't tell thing that other anon mentioned).

For instance, the paragraph talking about who was going to the cabin was a bit overwhelming, but maybe it would be less confusing if you inserted a flashback and explained through dialogue instead?